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Cream
Haunted by a nonconsensual video that went viral online, Zac seeks refuge in a new life, working at an ice cream kiosk in Blue Shore Bay. There, he meets Jake, the town's charismatic bad boy, who seems to reciprocate Zac's growing attraction—or does he? Jake's flirtations are muddled by the sudden appearance of his toxic girlfriend, Tasmin, who has a clear vendetta against Zac.
When a dead body washes up on the beach after a wild party, and Zac, with no memory of the night and mysterious scratches on his arms, becomes a prime suspect. Determined to uncover the truth and clear his name, Zac embarks on a quest to find the real killer.
But in a town full of secrets and a sea of suspects, Zac's journey becomes a dizzying ride, with each clue warping his hallucinatory, violent reality. Zac’s world quickly descends into a fever dream of mystery, horniness, and madness.
When a dead body washes up on the beach after a wild party, and Zac, with no memory of the night and mysterious scratches on his arms, becomes a prime suspect. Determined to uncover the truth and clear his name, Zac embarks on a quest to find the real killer.
But in a town full of secrets and a sea of suspects, Zac's journey becomes a dizzying ride, with each clue warping his hallucinatory, violent reality. Zac’s world quickly descends into a fever dream of mystery, horniness, and madness.
236 pages, ebook
Published August 9, 2024
10 people are currently reading
131 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
February 11, 2024
⭐️ 3 stars ⭐️
Three words. What. The. Fuck.
This story was an absolute mind-fuck, and I’m not sure if it was in a good way. The blurb described it as a «Fever dream of mystery, horniness and madness», but that’s just the tip of this trippy, psychotic iceberg.
I’m still not quite sure I enjoyed the ride on the crazy Zac train, but the author did a good job of keeping me hooked and wanting to know how everything would pan out.
You’re confused? I’m fucking confused, bro.
The more the story devolves, the more you catch on that you can’t trust a single thing Zac tells you. Between the dreams, the vivid hallucinations, the blatant lies, and the crazy tangents his brain takes you on, not one piece of the puzzle is safe. The more I kept reading, the more I found myself asking “did this actually happen?”
The answer was no, if you’re wondering.
For how much I didn’t really enjoy the plot or the characters, the writing was absolutely exceptional. The contradiction between the graphic and gory “dream” scenes, the snippets of normal teenage life and the beach ambience made for a captivating scenario that just keeps pulling you under, making you feel one with the craziness, making you doubt your own eyes as your reading.
What upset me the most was the ending. I hate open-ended endings. There is no closure, no true explanation. What was real and what was just a result of Zac’s twisted mind?
I know it’s the whole point, to make you question reality, but I still hate it.
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley, and am leaving this honest review voluntarily.
CW and tropes (spoilers):
- Drug and alcohol use
- Violence, death, gore
- Mental illness
- No HEA
- Mentions of rape and abuse (side character)
- Animal death (maybe? Not sure if it was an hallucination or not)
«The taste of him lingers. Salt and sugar. Danger and excitement. His DNA is on my tongue. In my blood. Rushing through my veins. Flooding my brain.»
Three words. What. The. Fuck.
This story was an absolute mind-fuck, and I’m not sure if it was in a good way. The blurb described it as a «Fever dream of mystery, horniness and madness», but that’s just the tip of this trippy, psychotic iceberg.
I’m still not quite sure I enjoyed the ride on the crazy Zac train, but the author did a good job of keeping me hooked and wanting to know how everything would pan out.
«I’m shaken up. Confused about what happened.»
You’re confused? I’m fucking confused, bro.
The more the story devolves, the more you catch on that you can’t trust a single thing Zac tells you. Between the dreams, the vivid hallucinations, the blatant lies, and the crazy tangents his brain takes you on, not one piece of the puzzle is safe. The more I kept reading, the more I found myself asking “did this actually happen?”
The answer was no, if you’re wondering.
«Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.»
For how much I didn’t really enjoy the plot or the characters, the writing was absolutely exceptional. The contradiction between the graphic and gory “dream” scenes, the snippets of normal teenage life and the beach ambience made for a captivating scenario that just keeps pulling you under, making you feel one with the craziness, making you doubt your own eyes as your reading.
«Rain is streaming down the window in rivulets, wriggling around like little sperms, joining up with one another and dividing. The globs are forming into letters. Making a word. K I L L E R»
What upset me the most was the ending. I hate open-ended endings. There is no closure, no true explanation. What was real and what was just a result of Zac’s twisted mind?
I know it’s the whole point, to make you question reality, but I still hate it.
«Now, now, now. The voices that inhabit my body say. Do it now. Red washed over my vision. A blinding curtain of blood and viscera.»
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley, and am leaving this honest review voluntarily.
CW and tropes (spoilers):
- Drug and alcohol use
- Violence, death, gore
- Mental illness
- No HEA
- Mentions of rape and abuse (side character)
- Animal death (maybe? Not sure if it was an hallucination or not)
January 31, 2024
✰ 2.25 stars ✰
“Funny how many sickos there are in the world.”
Well, if that isn't the sad and harsh truth? 😔
Yeah, so I was in a bit of a mood and this cover just screamed (see, what I did there? ☺️) that this was something my dark mood needed at the time. And okay, to be fair, sometimes you just need to read something to test your own limits of reading something that is as unhinged or as deranged and twisted as Cream was to me. It's funny how it's books like this that actually serve as a palette cleanser for me - to remind me that there are books out there far less appealing than the ones that I've read, and it only pushes me to find better books to fill the strange void it left me in.
“I’ve never really believed in fate–that there’s an order to the universe.
That no matter what choices we make, we end up in the same pre-destined place. It wouldn’t be fair that some people get the short, crappy straw while others get the long.”
The real star is definitely the warped and off-kilter mind of Zac - unreliable and unrelenting narrator at its finest, one who really did want to solve the case of the murdered girl, simply to absolve himself and his lover, so that they could ride off into the sunset together. What makes it even more interesting is how he is actually a victim already before the story starts off - caught in the belly of a sex tape that has labeled him as the campus slut, which makes him question everyone's good intentions and thoughts around him. 'Is this how I’m always going to be? Wired. Just waiting for someone to mention my humiliation. Always looking out for the people reveling in my shame.' So the audience is able to in a way sympathize with him and feel that maybe we are judging his actions a bit too harshly - that he may, in fact, deserve a happier outcome than what this poor seventeen-year-old has had to endure. 😥
But, as the situation worsens for Zac - literally, so too, does his state of mind - mentally. The inability to differentiate between reality and fiction, how the distortedness of his actions would compel him to doubt himself was a recipe for disaster - and ultimately, it did become one! 😄 'I’m hot, dripping with sweat, and my head is a jumble. These violent visions are becoming more intense. I’m starting to mix reality and fantasy. Is it the weed, or am I just going crazy?' For as wildly problematic as his intentions were and the characters he was involved in, I found myself morbidly fascinated with the story.
The beach setting along with his job at the ice cream vendor, coupled with his budding attraction for his co-worker, Jake, and his fervent jealousy of Jake's lover made for some highly entertaining drivel that prevented me from abandoning it. The cover is a solid win for capturing Zac's state of mind and the summery feeling of listlessness and vapid obscurity. I was curious to see what was the actual truth, who was the true culprit behind the many murders taking place, and how the author intended to conclude this insane ride of mystery, mystique and mayhem.
“I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing to say. I’m living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I’d do anything to go back to the beginning of summer.”
The plot becomes even more convoluted and derailed into a symbiotic sense of sexual depravity and cultic fantasy, that I actually started to see the morbid humor in Zac's plight that I couldn't even bring myself to be disgusted by the events that were unfolding! 'Why can’t I think straight? Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.' The writing tone is a mix of crass and crude, while also giving enough layers of depravity to Zac's demonic and twisted thoughts, but also painting him in a light of an innocent unwitting victim. 😆 Haha, that is really a strange way of putting it, because I did sympathize with him - in a strange way; because we don't know for sure just how innocent he really is in this current predicament, that he does draw a few sympathetic cards.
The writing didn't slow down, even as the story delved into deeper chaos and...not craziness, but simply the horrific absurdity of his actions and reasoning made me laugh aloud. 'You’ve lost the plot, Zac.” No, Jake’s the one who's lost the plot. That’s not what happened at all.' There is plenty of drug inhaling and ice cream prevailing with a heaping helping of blood and gore and stupidity and madness that all comes together with a subtle touch of heart and emotion that made me want to read till the end. 👍🏻👍🏻
The pacing doesn't quite falter, despite the overwhelming heat befuddling Zac's thoughts, as it is a relatively short read that covers a small time frame. The author gives just enough detail and depth into the characters that places Zac in the limbo of being trapped in a situation he shouldn't have been, and yet, found himself in. None of the characters were exactly likeable, and in fact, that was the intention. Everyone is a villain in Zac's eyes - he, being the only victim, and in the end - the price is paid. 😟
So, not exactly the most stellar of reads, but a nice disruption in the usual reading material that I indulge in. And I treated myself to lots of ice cream flavors - figuratively, of course! 😋 I can't tell you how many times I craved an ice cream just by reading the flavors; even though Lahore is still in the throes of the winter rainy season and I know if I indulge in one, I'm gonna end up with a cold.
“His skin is a scoop of ice cream—smooth and velvety. I want to run my tongue over it, push the tip into his eye sockets, and eat his eyeballs like cherries. Pop. Pop.”
Okay, maybe not the best of examples, but it does give one a general idea of what exactly you're getting yourself into, should you choose to read this. 😅
*Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
“Funny how many sickos there are in the world.”
Well, if that isn't the sad and harsh truth? 😔
Yeah, so I was in a bit of a mood and this cover just screamed (see, what I did there? ☺️) that this was something my dark mood needed at the time. And okay, to be fair, sometimes you just need to read something to test your own limits of reading something that is as unhinged or as deranged and twisted as Cream was to me. It's funny how it's books like this that actually serve as a palette cleanser for me - to remind me that there are books out there far less appealing than the ones that I've read, and it only pushes me to find better books to fill the strange void it left me in.
“I’ve never really believed in fate–that there’s an order to the universe.
That no matter what choices we make, we end up in the same pre-destined place. It wouldn’t be fair that some people get the short, crappy straw while others get the long.”
The real star is definitely the warped and off-kilter mind of Zac - unreliable and unrelenting narrator at its finest, one who really did want to solve the case of the murdered girl, simply to absolve himself and his lover, so that they could ride off into the sunset together. What makes it even more interesting is how he is actually a victim already before the story starts off - caught in the belly of a sex tape that has labeled him as the campus slut, which makes him question everyone's good intentions and thoughts around him. 'Is this how I’m always going to be? Wired. Just waiting for someone to mention my humiliation. Always looking out for the people reveling in my shame.' So the audience is able to in a way sympathize with him and feel that maybe we are judging his actions a bit too harshly - that he may, in fact, deserve a happier outcome than what this poor seventeen-year-old has had to endure. 😥
But, as the situation worsens for Zac - literally, so too, does his state of mind - mentally. The inability to differentiate between reality and fiction, how the distortedness of his actions would compel him to doubt himself was a recipe for disaster - and ultimately, it did become one! 😄 'I’m hot, dripping with sweat, and my head is a jumble. These violent visions are becoming more intense. I’m starting to mix reality and fantasy. Is it the weed, or am I just going crazy?' For as wildly problematic as his intentions were and the characters he was involved in, I found myself morbidly fascinated with the story.
The beach setting along with his job at the ice cream vendor, coupled with his budding attraction for his co-worker, Jake, and his fervent jealousy of Jake's lover made for some highly entertaining drivel that prevented me from abandoning it. The cover is a solid win for capturing Zac's state of mind and the summery feeling of listlessness and vapid obscurity. I was curious to see what was the actual truth, who was the true culprit behind the many murders taking place, and how the author intended to conclude this insane ride of mystery, mystique and mayhem.
“I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing to say. I’m living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I’d do anything to go back to the beginning of summer.”
The plot becomes even more convoluted and derailed into a symbiotic sense of sexual depravity and cultic fantasy, that I actually started to see the morbid humor in Zac's plight that I couldn't even bring myself to be disgusted by the events that were unfolding! 'Why can’t I think straight? Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.' The writing tone is a mix of crass and crude, while also giving enough layers of depravity to Zac's demonic and twisted thoughts, but also painting him in a light of an innocent unwitting victim. 😆 Haha, that is really a strange way of putting it, because I did sympathize with him - in a strange way; because we don't know for sure just how innocent he really is in this current predicament, that he does draw a few sympathetic cards.
The writing didn't slow down, even as the story delved into deeper chaos and...not craziness, but simply the horrific absurdity of his actions and reasoning made me laugh aloud. 'You’ve lost the plot, Zac.” No, Jake’s the one who's lost the plot. That’s not what happened at all.' There is plenty of drug inhaling and ice cream prevailing with a heaping helping of blood and gore and stupidity and madness that all comes together with a subtle touch of heart and emotion that made me want to read till the end. 👍🏻👍🏻
The pacing doesn't quite falter, despite the overwhelming heat befuddling Zac's thoughts, as it is a relatively short read that covers a small time frame. The author gives just enough detail and depth into the characters that places Zac in the limbo of being trapped in a situation he shouldn't have been, and yet, found himself in. None of the characters were exactly likeable, and in fact, that was the intention. Everyone is a villain in Zac's eyes - he, being the only victim, and in the end - the price is paid. 😟
So, not exactly the most stellar of reads, but a nice disruption in the usual reading material that I indulge in. And I treated myself to lots of ice cream flavors - figuratively, of course! 😋 I can't tell you how many times I craved an ice cream just by reading the flavors; even though Lahore is still in the throes of the winter rainy season and I know if I indulge in one, I'm gonna end up with a cold.
“His skin is a scoop of ice cream—smooth and velvety. I want to run my tongue over it, push the tip into his eye sockets, and eat his eyeballs like cherries. Pop. Pop.”
Okay, maybe not the best of examples, but it does give one a general idea of what exactly you're getting yourself into, should you choose to read this. 😅
*Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
February 1, 2024
4 / 5
What a dark, twisted little queer book this is. From the jump, something feels slightly off in Cream. There's some sort of detached but deliciously warped aspect to the writing, and as the book progresses, I fell more and more in love with it.
Featuring the most unreliable of unreliable narrators, we follow Zac, a young college dropout with an unfortunate reputation as the "gay slut" after a sexual video is posted online without his consent. Zac tries to move on from this event, but he feels like everyone has seen it - except for his new coworker, Jake, whom Zac has become smitten with.
As Zac embarks on what begins as a sticky sweet summer set in a beachside ice cream shack, his world soon turns into a full-on murder investigation as events spiral out of control. We witness Zac's personality take on an obsessive tone very early on, and his increasingly violent hallucinations call into question his actions off page. Zac's quest for answers about the murder only turn up even more questions -- and increase his doubts in everyone around him.
This was absolutely a treat to read, and I couldn't stop turning the pages. Because of the fact that so much of the mindfuckery is left to the interpretation of the reader, I'd recommend this to fans of Bunny - such a macabre ride that I didn't want to end!
Thank you to NetGalley and Jay H.D. for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
What a dark, twisted little queer book this is. From the jump, something feels slightly off in Cream. There's some sort of detached but deliciously warped aspect to the writing, and as the book progresses, I fell more and more in love with it.
Featuring the most unreliable of unreliable narrators, we follow Zac, a young college dropout with an unfortunate reputation as the "gay slut" after a sexual video is posted online without his consent. Zac tries to move on from this event, but he feels like everyone has seen it - except for his new coworker, Jake, whom Zac has become smitten with.
As Zac embarks on what begins as a sticky sweet summer set in a beachside ice cream shack, his world soon turns into a full-on murder investigation as events spiral out of control. We witness Zac's personality take on an obsessive tone very early on, and his increasingly violent hallucinations call into question his actions off page. Zac's quest for answers about the murder only turn up even more questions -- and increase his doubts in everyone around him.
This was absolutely a treat to read, and I couldn't stop turning the pages. Because of the fact that so much of the mindfuckery is left to the interpretation of the reader, I'd recommend this to fans of Bunny - such a macabre ride that I didn't want to end!
Thank you to NetGalley and Jay H.D. for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 13, 2024
Titulo: Cream
Autor: Jay H.D.
Motivo de lectura: #NetGalley #ARC
Lectura / Relectura: Lectura
Fisico / Electronico: Electronico
Mi edicion: -
Puntuacion: 2/5
Recibi esta ARC a cambio de una reseña honesta. Gracias NetGalley por darme la oportunidad de leer este libro.
La trama tiene uno o dos momentos que capta la atencion, el resto todo esta apoyado en un narrador cero confiable, aportando solo confusion, entre febril y que todo parece salido de un sueño, al final del dia solo logra aburrir, haciendo que la trama no llegue a ningun lugar donde haya espacio para el sentido.
Se nota mucho que el autor se inspiro en una mezcla entre psicopata americano y algun libro de thriller "playero"..realmente no hay una verdadera construccion de los personajes, mucho menos una evolucion, todo parece que se deja llevar por una inercia extraña.
Sumen a todo eso un final abierto, que lo unico que logro generar en mi fue "lei todo para esto?"
Una total perdida de tiempo.
Autor: Jay H.D.
Motivo de lectura: #NetGalley #ARC
Lectura / Relectura: Lectura
Fisico / Electronico: Electronico
Mi edicion: -
Puntuacion: 2/5
Recibi esta ARC a cambio de una reseña honesta. Gracias NetGalley por darme la oportunidad de leer este libro.
La trama tiene uno o dos momentos que capta la atencion, el resto todo esta apoyado en un narrador cero confiable, aportando solo confusion, entre febril y que todo parece salido de un sueño, al final del dia solo logra aburrir, haciendo que la trama no llegue a ningun lugar donde haya espacio para el sentido.
Se nota mucho que el autor se inspiro en una mezcla entre psicopata americano y algun libro de thriller "playero"..realmente no hay una verdadera construccion de los personajes, mucho menos una evolucion, todo parece que se deja llevar por una inercia extraña.
Sumen a todo eso un final abierto, que lo unico que logro generar en mi fue "lei todo para esto?"
Una total perdida de tiempo.
February 3, 2024
Unputdownable.
It is really important that you understand this: you have to read this book. I mean, I do think you have to read this book but I don’t want to say a lot about the story because the less you know about it, the better.
And the less you know about the plot, the most you’re going to enjoy it.actually, I do think that the editor or author should cut the book’s description at least just a bit.
However, I’m going to tell you some interesting things about this work because that’s what reviews are about. But if you want to enjoy this book at its 100% then stop reading this review and start reading the book.
First, what I said in the title is true. I read the whole thing within a day, something that doesn’t happen to every book, and something I don’t usually do anymore (it’s 2am right now). And that’s because it is VERY immersive, we actually share the confusion that the main character is feeling and we ask ourselves the same questions he asks to himself. The more we read, the more we are going to think what is happening? because there’s too much going on at once.
I really like books where the main characters that are teenagers act like teenagers. So yeah, I really liked Zac: shy and lonely but with an outstanding desire to be part of something and to be loved by someone. And he is the best part of the whole thing.
Unreliable narrators are… complicated. And I think that’s the reason they are not commonly exploited within written fiction.
The way Zac play tricks to himself and to us is mesmerizing. The ins and outs of his mind, the mix of reality and fantasy, are masterfully done, and they don’t feel unnatural or annoying, somehow the author managed to make them make sense and we don’t feel lost anytime.
My biggest fear was that the author would mess up the ending and, in a story like this, ruining the ending would ruin the whole experience. But nah, everything works perfectly fine from start to finish.
Second, this book really needs a TV mini-series. Actually no. It deserves a TV mini-series.
The Best: This journey into insanity is nothing like I’ve read before. Oh, I almost forgot… the book cover is so, so, so good!
The Worst: not really.
I received this for free via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
As a nonnative English speaker, I had some problems with the language, specifically the England slang. That is not the author’s fault but mine, and thanks to the e-reader it was not a major problem. This did not influence my rating in any means (but I had to say it, you know).
It is really important that you understand this: you have to read this book. I mean, I do think you have to read this book but I don’t want to say a lot about the story because the less you know about it, the better.
And the less you know about the plot, the most you’re going to enjoy it.
However, I’m going to tell you some interesting things about this work because that’s what reviews are about. But if you want to enjoy this book at its 100% then stop reading this review and start reading the book.
First, what I said in the title is true. I read the whole thing within a day, something that doesn’t happen to every book, and something I don’t usually do anymore (it’s 2am right now). And that’s because it is VERY immersive, we actually share the confusion that the main character is feeling and we ask ourselves the same questions he asks to himself. The more we read, the more we are going to think what is happening? because there’s too much going on at once.
I really like books where the main characters that are teenagers act like teenagers. So yeah, I really liked Zac: shy and lonely but with an outstanding desire to be part of something and to be loved by someone. And he is the best part of the whole thing.
Unreliable narrators are… complicated. And I think that’s the reason they are not commonly exploited within written fiction.
The way Zac play tricks to himself and to us is mesmerizing. The ins and outs of his mind, the mix of reality and fantasy, are masterfully done, and they don’t feel unnatural or annoying, somehow the author managed to make them make sense and we don’t feel lost anytime.
My biggest fear was that the author would mess up the ending and, in a story like this, ruining the ending would ruin the whole experience. But nah, everything works perfectly fine from start to finish.
Second, this book really needs a TV mini-series. Actually no. It deserves a TV mini-series.
The Best: This journey into insanity is nothing like I’ve read before. Oh, I almost forgot… the book cover is so, so, so good!
The Worst: not really.
I received this for free via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
As a nonnative English speaker, I had some problems with the language, specifically the England slang. That is not the author’s fault but mine, and thanks to the e-reader it was not a major problem. This did not influence my rating in any means (but I had to say it, you know).
April 24, 2024
I was lucky enough to receive an ARC copy from the author (thanks again for that!) and from the summary and cover alone, I was sold—and the book itself absolutely exceeded every expectation I had.
the rich, descriptive language the author uses put me right into the setting effortlessly (and I have never been anywhere close to England, and in fact had to google what a holiday camp actually is—in fact, it’s something like what us Americans would call a resort.) I could feel the sun on my face, the sand under my feet, and the melting ice cream cone in my hand (seriously, some of those flavours sound delicious!) most importantly though, I could feel myself inside the main character Zac’s head. I felt his pain, his boredom, his indifference. And I related.
the slow burn set up was perfectly paced for the chaos to come later, and well, it was quite enjoyable on its own. I’m not much of a romance guy at all, and yet if this book had been a summer love story between Zac and his object of affection Jake, I don’t think I would have complained. Through Zac’s eyes we see this idealised image of Jake, the kind-hearted carefree surfer boy who knows just what to say and draws everyone in with his effortless charm, and just be might be open-minded in terms of his sexuality. Quite a contrast to skinny, awkward, introverted Zac who was outed as gay by a viral video posted by a boy he thought had mutual feelings for him. And yet, they connect so fluidly, almost like puzzle pieces—Jake understands Zac, when no one else has, or has even bothered to try. And here I was, the reader, kind of rooting for them to have a happy relationship despite knowing full well that this is a horror story and things are going to go wrong real fast.
And they sure do. And nobody, especially the reader, has any idea where this is going. And Cream will keep you guessing until the very end. A murder mystery, a chilling ghost story, a delve into witchcraft and dark magic, and most importantly, a deep dive into Zac’s mind as it slowly starts to deteriorate and fracture. I will say, personally, that I’m not usually a fan of the first person voice, but here it works spectacularly. This story would not be the same told by a third person narrator, and seeing everything from Zac’s point of view gives the already tense and exciting narrative an even more heart-pounding quality. I was on the edge of my seat throughout.
A rich cast of characters (including Tasmin, a girl with ties to Jake, Ryan, the culprit behind the viral video that ruined Zac’s life, and Malaki, a mysterious goth boy with an interest in the occult) keeps the reader guessing—they’re all three dimensional and have their secrets, so who is good? Who is bad? Is there even such a thing as a distinction between the two?
The ending, in my opinion, is exactly the finale that the story needed.
As a passionate lover of horror and a queer guy myself, I absolutely loved this story and highly recommend it. Take this journey with Zac, the troubled gay teenager who just wants to be loved—you won’t regret it.
the rich, descriptive language the author uses put me right into the setting effortlessly (and I have never been anywhere close to England, and in fact had to google what a holiday camp actually is—in fact, it’s something like what us Americans would call a resort.) I could feel the sun on my face, the sand under my feet, and the melting ice cream cone in my hand (seriously, some of those flavours sound delicious!) most importantly though, I could feel myself inside the main character Zac’s head. I felt his pain, his boredom, his indifference. And I related.
the slow burn set up was perfectly paced for the chaos to come later, and well, it was quite enjoyable on its own. I’m not much of a romance guy at all, and yet if this book had been a summer love story between Zac and his object of affection Jake, I don’t think I would have complained. Through Zac’s eyes we see this idealised image of Jake, the kind-hearted carefree surfer boy who knows just what to say and draws everyone in with his effortless charm, and just be might be open-minded in terms of his sexuality. Quite a contrast to skinny, awkward, introverted Zac who was outed as gay by a viral video posted by a boy he thought had mutual feelings for him. And yet, they connect so fluidly, almost like puzzle pieces—Jake understands Zac, when no one else has, or has even bothered to try. And here I was, the reader, kind of rooting for them to have a happy relationship despite knowing full well that this is a horror story and things are going to go wrong real fast.
And they sure do. And nobody, especially the reader, has any idea where this is going. And Cream will keep you guessing until the very end. A murder mystery, a chilling ghost story, a delve into witchcraft and dark magic, and most importantly, a deep dive into Zac’s mind as it slowly starts to deteriorate and fracture. I will say, personally, that I’m not usually a fan of the first person voice, but here it works spectacularly. This story would not be the same told by a third person narrator, and seeing everything from Zac’s point of view gives the already tense and exciting narrative an even more heart-pounding quality. I was on the edge of my seat throughout.
A rich cast of characters (including Tasmin, a girl with ties to Jake, Ryan, the culprit behind the viral video that ruined Zac’s life, and Malaki, a mysterious goth boy with an interest in the occult) keeps the reader guessing—they’re all three dimensional and have their secrets, so who is good? Who is bad? Is there even such a thing as a distinction between the two?
The ending, in my opinion, is exactly the finale that the story needed.
As a passionate lover of horror and a queer guy myself, I absolutely loved this story and highly recommend it. Take this journey with Zac, the troubled gay teenager who just wants to be loved—you won’t regret it.
January 29, 2024
‘Simply just a touch of pure magic!’
Very happy to report that I just loved this queer horror ‘whodunnit’ adventure, from the simplistically subtle great title, fantastic 1960’s style book cover, to the brilliantly thought out chapter headings and wonderfully creative narrative and plot which leads ultimately to the absolutely jaw-dropping, final last sentence itself.
This beautiful, cleverly constructed story proved to be vibrant, refreshing and dynamic from the outset, rich in flavour and full of deliciously, delectable delicacies that just appeared to keep on giving and giving and giving. Being packed with sinister dark twists and turns ensured that the embedded mystery and deliberate uncertainty continued without ever being obvious or pedestrian, and the fast pace of the diverse catalogue of events guaranteed never a dull moment or lack of excitement.
The beginning, set within a backdrop of a bright and breezy seaside holiday romance soon slides into an extremely dark, psychological thriller type vibe, with the tale itself seen through the eyes of Zac, a troubled, but street-wise young man who, after leaving college, starts work in a certain holiday resort’s very small, beach side ice cream kiosk. After meeting Jake, the wayward, but easy-going, attractive and super-friendly son of the boss, Zac’s next few days soon spiral out of control, ultimately being destined to take a decidedly deadly turn for the worse with relationships between himself and his new, as well as old, acquaintances such as the dishy, adorable Jake, bitchy Tasmin, devious Ryan, angry Tom and Malaki, the goth with the black magic spells, all come under questionable integrity, close scrutiny and devilish suspicion. Then, after the sudden murder of one of the group, Zac’s personal version of reality oscillates between normal everyday life and a darkly disturbing alternative reality involving ultra-violent visions and supernatural hallucinations, which culminate in the blurring of his path between pure fantasy and that of a true and absolute reality. And then the killings really begin…or do they?
Final thought: ’Will the real Zac actually ‘reveal’ himself? - time is most definitely running out.’
Lots of great characters, and an original youthful, but strangely different, exciting modern day storyline that hits all the right notes, as well as one which will undoubtedly appeal to readers and lovers of dark horror, gay romance and supernatural thrillers, as well as to anyone looking for that special adventure which is just that little bit different.
Extremely enjoyable and highly recommended. I look forward to reading much more from this highly talented new author and wish him every success for the future.
An ARC gratefully received from BookSirens. Thank you for the experience.
Very happy to report that I just loved this queer horror ‘whodunnit’ adventure, from the simplistically subtle great title, fantastic 1960’s style book cover, to the brilliantly thought out chapter headings and wonderfully creative narrative and plot which leads ultimately to the absolutely jaw-dropping, final last sentence itself.
This beautiful, cleverly constructed story proved to be vibrant, refreshing and dynamic from the outset, rich in flavour and full of deliciously, delectable delicacies that just appeared to keep on giving and giving and giving. Being packed with sinister dark twists and turns ensured that the embedded mystery and deliberate uncertainty continued without ever being obvious or pedestrian, and the fast pace of the diverse catalogue of events guaranteed never a dull moment or lack of excitement.
The beginning, set within a backdrop of a bright and breezy seaside holiday romance soon slides into an extremely dark, psychological thriller type vibe, with the tale itself seen through the eyes of Zac, a troubled, but street-wise young man who, after leaving college, starts work in a certain holiday resort’s very small, beach side ice cream kiosk. After meeting Jake, the wayward, but easy-going, attractive and super-friendly son of the boss, Zac’s next few days soon spiral out of control, ultimately being destined to take a decidedly deadly turn for the worse with relationships between himself and his new, as well as old, acquaintances such as the dishy, adorable Jake, bitchy Tasmin, devious Ryan, angry Tom and Malaki, the goth with the black magic spells, all come under questionable integrity, close scrutiny and devilish suspicion. Then, after the sudden murder of one of the group, Zac’s personal version of reality oscillates between normal everyday life and a darkly disturbing alternative reality involving ultra-violent visions and supernatural hallucinations, which culminate in the blurring of his path between pure fantasy and that of a true and absolute reality. And then the killings really begin…or do they?
Final thought: ’Will the real Zac actually ‘reveal’ himself? - time is most definitely running out.’
Lots of great characters, and an original youthful, but strangely different, exciting modern day storyline that hits all the right notes, as well as one which will undoubtedly appeal to readers and lovers of dark horror, gay romance and supernatural thrillers, as well as to anyone looking for that special adventure which is just that little bit different.
Extremely enjoyable and highly recommended. I look forward to reading much more from this highly talented new author and wish him every success for the future.
An ARC gratefully received from BookSirens. Thank you for the experience.
February 10, 2024
My brain melted faster than ice cream on the beach! Part murder mystery, part fast-paced splatterpunk trip, Cream was so much more than I anticipated.
I enjoyed the writing style quite a bit! Jay H.D. certainly has a way with words. I highlighted this quote as a representative sample: "Iris’s voice blares from her megaphone mouth, her vocal cords the only part of her body not in an advanced state of decay." Excellent descriptive language mixed with dark humor.
I did notice a few spelling and grammar issues. Nothing major enough to distract from the story in my opinion.
Jay H.D. does not shy away from heavy and graphic content. MAJOR content warnings: graphic violence, sexual violence, violence against minors, mental illness, and drug abuse.
Thank you for the chance to read this book for free. I'm leaving this review of my own accord.
I enjoyed the writing style quite a bit! Jay H.D. certainly has a way with words. I highlighted this quote as a representative sample: "Iris’s voice blares from her megaphone mouth, her vocal cords the only part of her body not in an advanced state of decay." Excellent descriptive language mixed with dark humor.
I did notice a few spelling and grammar issues. Nothing major enough to distract from the story in my opinion.
Jay H.D. does not shy away from heavy and graphic content. MAJOR content warnings: graphic violence, sexual violence, violence against minors, mental illness, and drug abuse.
Thank you for the chance to read this book for free. I'm leaving this review of my own accord.
January 25, 2024
3.5 ★
Cover for this book intrigued me right away and then synopsis made me want to pick it up even more!
It's an interesting little tale that touches on themes of infatuation, lust, deep desire, unrequited feelings, shame and murder while skillfully blurring the boundaries between reality and illusion.
We've got an unreliable narrator on our hands, so throughout the story, we are left to wonder is his version of events really what happened, or was it just in his head. The author adeptly maintains ambiguity and doesn't make it clear until the brutal and unexpected conclusion, which stands out as my favorite part of the book.
What I loved was the choice of a first-person narrative, giving us a peek inside Zac's enigmatic mind and character. The inclusion of comedic moments was a nice touch, breaking the tension at just the right moments. The setting was vividly portrayed, adding a unique vibe to the reading experience. Around the halfway point, the narrative skillfully induces a sense of shared confusion with the protagonist, compelling readers to question previously established truths, which is always an interesting touch.
While the book offered an enjoyable one-sitting read, I wished for a bit more horror or detailed descriptions to intensify certain scenes. Despite this, the story remains an entertaining experience.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Cover for this book intrigued me right away and then synopsis made me want to pick it up even more!
It's an interesting little tale that touches on themes of infatuation, lust, deep desire, unrequited feelings, shame and murder while skillfully blurring the boundaries between reality and illusion.
We've got an unreliable narrator on our hands, so throughout the story, we are left to wonder is his version of events really what happened, or was it just in his head. The author adeptly maintains ambiguity and doesn't make it clear until the brutal and unexpected conclusion, which stands out as my favorite part of the book.
What I loved was the choice of a first-person narrative, giving us a peek inside Zac's enigmatic mind and character. The inclusion of comedic moments was a nice touch, breaking the tension at just the right moments. The setting was vividly portrayed, adding a unique vibe to the reading experience. Around the halfway point, the narrative skillfully induces a sense of shared confusion with the protagonist, compelling readers to question previously established truths, which is always an interesting touch.
While the book offered an enjoyable one-sitting read, I wished for a bit more horror or detailed descriptions to intensify certain scenes. Despite this, the story remains an entertaining experience.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
June 11, 2024
WHAT. THE. FUCK!?
What a ride this book was. Wow, this author is something else! I mean it in such a good way.
Being inside of Zac’s head the entire book was exhausting until the very end and then I’m like whaaaaaattt sksksjsksksk omg this book was good but I’m not surprised since Rascal by this author was so good -In my opinion!
Holy shit though. The lengths these folks went through to frame Zac? Insane!!! 😳😂
”Wet spreads between my legs. Pissing my fear out. I tell myself that this can’t be real. That I’m dreaming. But the pain coursing through my body is unmistakable, the wounds inside and out forcing me to admit that this is really happening.”
I felt so incredibly bad for Zac in the end tbh like whaaaat?!
”I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing to say. I’m living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I’d do anything to go back to the beginning of summer. To arrive at the ice cream kiosk for the first time, and see Jake’s grinning face.”.
What a ride this book was. Wow, this author is something else! I mean it in such a good way.
Being inside of Zac’s head the entire book was exhausting until the very end and then I’m like whaaaaaattt sksksjsksksk omg this book was good but I’m not surprised since Rascal by this author was so good -In my opinion!
Holy shit though. The lengths these folks went through to frame Zac? Insane!!! 😳😂
”Wet spreads between my legs. Pissing my fear out. I tell myself that this can’t be real. That I’m dreaming. But the pain coursing through my body is unmistakable, the wounds inside and out forcing me to admit that this is really happening.”
I felt so incredibly bad for Zac in the end tbh like whaaaat?!
”I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing to say. I’m living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I’d do anything to go back to the beginning of summer. To arrive at the ice cream kiosk for the first time, and see Jake’s grinning face.”.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 18, 2024
Thank you NetGalley and Blue Shore Books for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own
3.5⭐️
Phew! That's a line I never thought I'd have to write. Anyway... This book was definitely a wild ride and I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened (or did it?) in this book. I think the author does a great job of immersing you into the mind of this boy who is slowly descending into maddness and really getting you to care about his situation, despite the fucked up stuff he gets involved in. Definitely have my theories about what everything means, but I'll leave it at that. Overall, it was a fun reading experience, but I feel like the first half was a little unengaging compared to the second.
Do check trigger warnings before you read!
3.5⭐️
Phew! That's a line I never thought I'd have to write. Anyway... This book was definitely a wild ride and I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened (or did it?) in this book. I think the author does a great job of immersing you into the mind of this boy who is slowly descending into maddness and really getting you to care about his situation, despite the fucked up stuff he gets involved in. Definitely have my theories about what everything means, but I'll leave it at that. Overall, it was a fun reading experience, but I feel like the first half was a little unengaging compared to the second.
Do check trigger warnings before you read!
February 28, 2024
This was a wild ride. I really felt myself deteriorating with Zac
January 21, 2024
Thank you NetGalley and Jay H.D. for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Wow! Okay...where to begin...
I have mostly avoided horror in the past because I felt like I wouldn't like it...but I was wrong. I really liked this, and I'm not sure what that says about me, because this book is incredibly disturbing.
The entire book is told through Zac's POV. It is written in first person, so the reader never gets outside of his head, and it's...intense. Zac is not morally gray, he is a true anti-hero. He is narcissistic, sociopathic, delusional, and possibly, a murderer. It is impossible to tell what events are real and what is fantasy/delusion. At several points in the book, I wondered if Zac was just flat out lying to the reader.
I could not put this book down. I devoured it almost in one sitting. It is not campy, but there is a decent amount of dark humor in it and I found myself laughing out loud at several points. It has American Psycho vibes...but more fever dreamy, and with teenagers instead of businessmen. And of course, more queer.
I kept thinking about this quote from 10 Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall where one of the characters says "excuse me, gay people can be serial killers too".
I don't really have any criticism of this. Like I said, I don't normally read horror so I have no idea if this is what horror is usually like. The author, Jay, H.D., does not shy away from anything, which I loved, but I imagine it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It is not overly graphic, but disturbing themes are definitely not glossed over. The violence and sexual fantasies all serve a purpose in the story though - they are not just put there for shock value.
And by the way, who is this mysterious author? I looked them up and found hardly anything! No website, no IG, no "about the author" blurb, nothing. Just one picture next to their name showing a person covering their face. I have no idea if it's even a picture of the author. Jay, you are an enigma wrapped in a mystery. But thank you for sharing your gift with us! I very much enjoyed this book which made me feel disturbed and disgusted, but also obsessed and addicted. I am sure I will be thinking about it for a long while. Please keep writing!
Wow! Okay...where to begin...
I have mostly avoided horror in the past because I felt like I wouldn't like it...but I was wrong. I really liked this, and I'm not sure what that says about me, because this book is incredibly disturbing.
The entire book is told through Zac's POV. It is written in first person, so the reader never gets outside of his head, and it's...intense. Zac is not morally gray, he is a true anti-hero. He is narcissistic, sociopathic, delusional, and possibly, a murderer. It is impossible to tell what events are real and what is fantasy/delusion. At several points in the book, I wondered if Zac was just flat out lying to the reader.
I could not put this book down. I devoured it almost in one sitting. It is not campy, but there is a decent amount of dark humor in it and I found myself laughing out loud at several points. It has American Psycho vibes...but more fever dreamy, and with teenagers instead of businessmen. And of course, more queer.
I kept thinking about this quote from 10 Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall where one of the characters says "excuse me, gay people can be serial killers too".
I don't really have any criticism of this. Like I said, I don't normally read horror so I have no idea if this is what horror is usually like. The author, Jay, H.D., does not shy away from anything, which I loved, but I imagine it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It is not overly graphic, but disturbing themes are definitely not glossed over. The violence and sexual fantasies all serve a purpose in the story though - they are not just put there for shock value.
And by the way, who is this mysterious author? I looked them up and found hardly anything! No website, no IG, no "about the author" blurb, nothing. Just one picture next to their name showing a person covering their face. I have no idea if it's even a picture of the author. Jay, you are an enigma wrapped in a mystery. But thank you for sharing your gift with us! I very much enjoyed this book which made me feel disturbed and disgusted, but also obsessed and addicted. I am sure I will be thinking about it for a long while. Please keep writing!
February 9, 2024
Part thriller, part mystery, part sexual journey... This book was a refreshing piece of horror with just the right amount of "juice" splashed in. Or should I say "cream"? I felt like the steamy scenes weren't overdone, and didn't feel thrown in willy-nilly like they are with some other (for lack of a better term) smut-laced stories. Really the story is the mystery, and the psychological journey you're taken on with the main character. This story was weird and thrilling and managed to pull an ending off that was definitely warped from what I had expected--which I wasn't sure of anyway, to be honest, and didn't matter much. I was there for the ride, and I enjoyed every f*cked up moment of it! I will definitely read more of Jay H.D.! Thank you to NetGalley and Blue Shore Books for providing me with my first ever ARC!
February 26, 2024
First, I should like to thank Jay H.D. and Book Sirens for my ARC of this book. It lived up to being a horror book but honestly it confused me from beginning to end which resulted in my 2.5 rounded up to 3 star rating. I couldn't tell what was really happening. What was imagined. Who was really dead and who was really alive. By the end of the book I had no more idea than I did at the beginning. I couldn't like any of the characters and that was difficult for me because normally when I am reading LGBTQ books I get it immediately. There were parts of this book that I would describe as gory rather than horrific and had I realized I might have excused myself from the review team. I did get through it though and can't say it is a book to be enjoyed but left me with more questions than answers. Again, thank you for my ARC of this book.
January 25, 2024
This is an extreme case of unreliable narrator and it was a wild ride. It's described as a horror but I feel it's more of a descent into madness as we discover Zach's violent and often sexual fantasies as he tries to solve a murder. Zac is extremely unlikeable, he has no empathy for others and we never quite know what is delusion and what is real until the last few pages. The plot kept me guessing all the way through and I enjoyed the dark humour sprinkled throughout. The occasional dips into witchcraft and the supernatural were good but I would have liked more for this to be a true horror.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Thank you to Booksirens and the author.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Thank you to Booksirens and the author.
January 29, 2024
What in the hell did I just read? I imagine reading this book is the equivalent of being on acid. I honestly still don't know what was real and what wasn't. I don't know how to rate it because I have no idea if I even liked it. What I do know is that I couldn't put it down. The entire book was from Zac's perspective and to say he is an unreliable narrator is an understatement. I'm not even sure I am convinced that what happened in the end is real to not. That is how big of a mind fuck this book is. What I think anyone who has read this book can agree on is that Zac is a complete narcissistic sociopath. He takes delusion to a whole other level. This one is going to hurt my brain for a while and for that, I have to give it a decent rating. It's a very dark, trippy, disturbing, insane ride.
I take a toke, lick Jake’s spittle from my lips, then pass it back. The taste of him lingers. Salt and sugar. Danger and excitement. His DNA is on my tongue. In my blood. Rushing through my veins. Flooding my brain.
I’ve never really believed in fate–that there’s an order to the universe. That no matter what choices we make, we end up in the same pre-destined place. It wouldn’t be fair that some people get the short, crappy straw while others get the long. I prefer to think that we have free will, and it’s our own shitty choices that determine our path.
So much has happened this summer, but I get confused when I try to put things in order. A reel of disjointed flashbacks play in my head like a surrealist movie.
The hole. Tasmin with a bullet hole in her tit. Me surfing with Jake. Malaki kissing me. Staffy dogs. Blood spreading on bluebells. Ice cream and cum. Killer sheep. Lolly wrapper flowers. Captain Morgan and cola. The Browning sinking in the ocean. A yellow terraced house. Pound coins. Tasmin’s diary. A tribal tattoo on a hairy chest. Blood and white water.
Everything’s a jumble, as scattered and disjointed as a page in Tasmin’s diary. The timeline is all messed up. Why can’t I think straight? Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.
I take a toke, lick Jake’s spittle from my lips, then pass it back. The taste of him lingers. Salt and sugar. Danger and excitement. His DNA is on my tongue. In my blood. Rushing through my veins. Flooding my brain.
I’ve never really believed in fate–that there’s an order to the universe. That no matter what choices we make, we end up in the same pre-destined place. It wouldn’t be fair that some people get the short, crappy straw while others get the long. I prefer to think that we have free will, and it’s our own shitty choices that determine our path.
So much has happened this summer, but I get confused when I try to put things in order. A reel of disjointed flashbacks play in my head like a surrealist movie.
The hole. Tasmin with a bullet hole in her tit. Me surfing with Jake. Malaki kissing me. Staffy dogs. Blood spreading on bluebells. Ice cream and cum. Killer sheep. Lolly wrapper flowers. Captain Morgan and cola. The Browning sinking in the ocean. A yellow terraced house. Pound coins. Tasmin’s diary. A tribal tattoo on a hairy chest. Blood and white water.
Everything’s a jumble, as scattered and disjointed as a page in Tasmin’s diary. The timeline is all messed up. Why can’t I think straight? Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.
February 12, 2024
I’m not sure how I feel about this novel. It did engage me to the end. It uses the literary device of an unreliable narrator. This can be confusing because the variations of what the main character is hallucinating/experiencing is frequently switching putting the reader in the same predicament as the main character.
In the end it’s a mix of a coming of age/ murder mystery/ “ghost story”.
In the end it’s a mix of a coming of age/ murder mystery/ “ghost story”.
January 20, 2024
This new-adult dark fiction is a strong contender for my favorite book of 2024. We follow Zac, an unhappy teenage boy who must work at an ice-cream kiosk over the summer. Luckily for him, friendly bad boy Jake is there to make the days better. Despite how attracted to Jake he is, Zac has to watch bitterly as Jake and his girlfriend Tasmin flirt openly with each other.
Then ends up dead. , but on the other hand... who killed ? Battling with his own graphically dark fantasies, Zac is determined to figure out who the murderer is.
This book was written so well; diving into the dark recesses of Zac's mind leaves the reader, and Zac himself, unable to tell what is real. Paranoia and a violent imagination go hand-in-hand, and the book is hard to put down because of it. A good mix of horror and thriller flip this book from a sexy summer romance to a tale of insanity and mystery.
Then ends up dead. , but on the other hand... who killed ? Battling with his own graphically dark fantasies, Zac is determined to figure out who the murderer is.
This book was written so well; diving into the dark recesses of Zac's mind leaves the reader, and Zac himself, unable to tell what is real. Paranoia and a violent imagination go hand-in-hand, and the book is hard to put down because of it. A good mix of horror and thriller flip this book from a sexy summer romance to a tale of insanity and mystery.
June 9, 2024
I hate how much I enjoyed this book.
I think some reviews are too harsh; although what’s truly unforgivable is the complete lack of proofreading – to such an extent that one wonders if certain parts were even read twice after being written. I also truly disliked the fact the MC is supposed to be seventeen... but already dropped out of college? And a sextape of him is circulating online, recorded and posted while he was underage, (ch. Hot Chocolate) and you'd have me believe that he has no recourse? No way.
Set aside these concerns though, see the book for what is: the ultimate unreliable narrator experience of a teen with a plethora of undiagnosed mental illnesses, who is misogynistic, angsty and self-centered (again: a teenage boy), slowly losing more of himself to the heat, drugs, and an obsessive crush. And if you go into the book knowing everything should be doubted from the get-go, I believe you could enjoy yourself tremendously.
Here's what I believe the ending explains, and what it retrospectively "clicks into place":
First, I don't think the ending is a cliffhanger:
10/10 reminded me of my own teenage summers (well, without the murders...)
I think some reviews are too harsh; although what’s truly unforgivable is the complete lack of proofreading – to such an extent that one wonders if certain parts were even read twice after being written. I also truly disliked the fact the MC is supposed to be seventeen... but already dropped out of college? And a sextape of him is circulating online, recorded and posted while he was underage, (ch. Hot Chocolate) and you'd have me believe that he has no recourse? No way.
Set aside these concerns though, see the book for what is: the ultimate unreliable narrator experience of a teen with a plethora of undiagnosed mental illnesses, who is misogynistic, angsty and self-centered (again: a teenage boy), slowly losing more of himself to the heat, drugs, and an obsessive crush. And if you go into the book knowing everything should be doubted from the get-go, I believe you could enjoy yourself tremendously.
Here's what I believe the ending explains, and what it retrospectively "clicks into place":
First, I don't think the ending is a cliffhanger:
10/10 reminded me of my own teenage summers (well, without the murders...)
February 14, 2024
This frantic novel will keep you on the edge of your seat as you devour it, not wanting to put it down. It is really fast-paced, but mixed with a type of delirium that really leaves you feeling unmoored. The central character feels unique, and he and the orbit of secondary characters around him are all interesting. Most fit into one stereotype or another, but they feel very tongue-in-cheek and aware, which makes them still feel genuine. The pacing of this story is really wonderful, moving at a breakneck speed somehow while still embodying a soporific attitude, one of the slow stickiness of a hot summer day on the beach. The story itself is bold, not afraid of the sex and violence that infiltrate this fateful summer. The plot itself, and the reliability of the narrator, are constantly undermined, which keeps the story fun to read. That said, it isn’t wildly difficult to speculate pretty early on about who is doing what to whom, yet this didn’t diminish the joy of experiencing the ending for me. The thing that pulled this rating down the most for me is some of the writing. While I appreciated there is a sort of unhinged quality, especially as the events of the story start becoming wilder, it just felt like there were sections that could have enjoyed another editing pass. It wasn’t so distracting to take away from the story, but enough so that I noticed it, seams showing where you would hope for it to be more flush.
This is a short novel, and I was drawn in from the beginning, not wanting to put it down. It was a lot of fun to read and I look forward to seeing what future work this author creates, because the energy and spunk of this novel, toying with being transgressive while still firmly falling into the realm of a modern day tragedy, was really exciting. The characters and pacing fit the story well, the setting and world-building was almost tangible, and it was a joy to read.
(Rounded up from 3.5 stars)
I want to thank the author and BookSirens, who provided a complimentary eARC for review. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
This is a short novel, and I was drawn in from the beginning, not wanting to put it down. It was a lot of fun to read and I look forward to seeing what future work this author creates, because the energy and spunk of this novel, toying with being transgressive while still firmly falling into the realm of a modern day tragedy, was really exciting. The characters and pacing fit the story well, the setting and world-building was almost tangible, and it was a joy to read.
(Rounded up from 3.5 stars)
I want to thank the author and BookSirens, who provided a complimentary eARC for review. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
April 19, 2024
TRIPPY, PSYCHEDELIC HORROR; NOT A ROMANCE (NO HEA)
(Final verdict is 2.5 stars, but I really wanted to give it at least a 4!)
I generally read anything MM, but I usually prefer it to be a romance mainly for that HEA that serves the purpose I seek for any recreational activity I undertake: happiness and satisfaction. But, I was well aware that this isn’t a romance (so no HEA) when I took a chance on claiming this ARC over at Booksprout, and sure enough, it didn’t leave me with fuzzy, blissful feels at the end and for the most part. If I were the type to rate a book objectively, this would definitely be 4 stars for the “refreshing” experience alone, since it’s so vastly different from what I normally read nowadays, though not all that different when compared to what I used to read (gothic fiction, mostly horror and macabre mystery stories). It also deserves a 5-star rating in my opinion for being the first MM/queer take of this genre that I’ve ever come across (and for that spanking cover alone). I think this is one of those stories that I need to be in the mood to be horrified for me to be able to fully appreciate (unfortunately I forced myself to read this when I wasn’t because I had to meet the ARC deadline, lol. Sorry! Perhaps I’ll give this another go when the right mood catches me in the future).
But for now I’m logging this as a 2.5 because I base my ratings on how a book made me feel during and after, and well, I find myself slap bang in the middle of awestruck and terrorised. This certainly was morbid and unpleasant, and I guess in that sense it spectacularly succeeded in what it’s intended to be. But it couldn’t have been half as fascinating if not for the brazen writing style and rich personality of the storytelling. If you’re into this sort of thing, what I’d describe as trippy horror—then, this is certainly worth a read. (I know that if this author made an MM romance with a legit HEA, doesn’t matter all the hellish things that might be in between before it, I’d definitely give it a read.)
(Final verdict is 2.5 stars, but I really wanted to give it at least a 4!)
I generally read anything MM, but I usually prefer it to be a romance mainly for that HEA that serves the purpose I seek for any recreational activity I undertake: happiness and satisfaction. But, I was well aware that this isn’t a romance (so no HEA) when I took a chance on claiming this ARC over at Booksprout, and sure enough, it didn’t leave me with fuzzy, blissful feels at the end and for the most part. If I were the type to rate a book objectively, this would definitely be 4 stars for the “refreshing” experience alone, since it’s so vastly different from what I normally read nowadays, though not all that different when compared to what I used to read (gothic fiction, mostly horror and macabre mystery stories). It also deserves a 5-star rating in my opinion for being the first MM/queer take of this genre that I’ve ever come across (and for that spanking cover alone). I think this is one of those stories that I need to be in the mood to be horrified for me to be able to fully appreciate (unfortunately I forced myself to read this when I wasn’t because I had to meet the ARC deadline, lol. Sorry! Perhaps I’ll give this another go when the right mood catches me in the future).
But for now I’m logging this as a 2.5 because I base my ratings on how a book made me feel during and after, and well, I find myself slap bang in the middle of awestruck and terrorised. This certainly was morbid and unpleasant, and I guess in that sense it spectacularly succeeded in what it’s intended to be. But it couldn’t have been half as fascinating if not for the brazen writing style and rich personality of the storytelling. If you’re into this sort of thing, what I’d describe as trippy horror—then, this is certainly worth a read. (I know that if this author made an MM romance with a legit HEA, doesn’t matter all the hellish things that might be in between before it, I’d definitely give it a read.)
February 14, 2024
Cream is one of those stories where you’re never sure where it’s actually going to end up until it’s too late.
Zac’s life is on a downward slope. Haunted by the non-consensual release of a video made with another boy from uni, he drops out and runs away from the life he was used to. Finding himself working at the local holiday park, he is assigned to the Ice Cream shack, where he meets the charming, rich son of the holiday park owner, Jake.
Zac is instantly infatuated with Jake and finds any excuse to get closer to him. Even if Jake has a girlfriend. Events culminate one night at a beach party where Jake’s girlfriend, Tasmin, is found dead amongst the sand dunes.
Zac decides to play detective and discover who killed Tasmin, using only a burner phone and her diary as his clues. What follows is Zac’s slow descent into madness where he stops being able to distinguish between reality and hallucination.
🍦
This was wild. And dark. You have to feel sorry for Jake, already a victim of an idiot who uploaded an explicit video for all to see, unsure what his next steps are. His instant obsession with Jake is understandable as Jake appears to be the only person who hasn’t seen the video, and is friendly towards him.
It’s almost painful to watch him descend into madness, and you initially think you know what is causing it. You think you, as the reader, know what is real and not. But you are proven wrong on numerous occasions.
Honestly, there was one part I guessed early on, the identity of Tasmin’s murderer, but the rest was not at all what I expected. Maybe it was a bit left of field, but somehow it still worked. Once I read it, it clicked and made sense. And that is a sign of good story telling
Zac’s life is on a downward slope. Haunted by the non-consensual release of a video made with another boy from uni, he drops out and runs away from the life he was used to. Finding himself working at the local holiday park, he is assigned to the Ice Cream shack, where he meets the charming, rich son of the holiday park owner, Jake.
Zac is instantly infatuated with Jake and finds any excuse to get closer to him. Even if Jake has a girlfriend. Events culminate one night at a beach party where Jake’s girlfriend, Tasmin, is found dead amongst the sand dunes.
Zac decides to play detective and discover who killed Tasmin, using only a burner phone and her diary as his clues. What follows is Zac’s slow descent into madness where he stops being able to distinguish between reality and hallucination.
🍦
This was wild. And dark. You have to feel sorry for Jake, already a victim of an idiot who uploaded an explicit video for all to see, unsure what his next steps are. His instant obsession with Jake is understandable as Jake appears to be the only person who hasn’t seen the video, and is friendly towards him.
It’s almost painful to watch him descend into madness, and you initially think you know what is causing it. You think you, as the reader, know what is real and not. But you are proven wrong on numerous occasions.
Honestly, there was one part I guessed early on, the identity of Tasmin’s murderer, but the rest was not at all what I expected. Maybe it was a bit left of field, but somehow it still worked. Once I read it, it clicked and made sense. And that is a sign of good story telling
February 25, 2024
I have never done any drugs in my life but I imagine this book is the closest I’ll get to that feeling. This was such an intense and wild ride, I felt like I had no idea what as going on half the time and I loved it! Very dark, very weird and such an unexpected brilliant queer horror mystery that I will be thinking about for a long time.
Zac has unfortunately gotten a bad reputation after a video of him goes viral around his town, he drops out of collage and goes to work in an ice cream stand for the summer. Sounds simple right? Wrong. Zac befriends the towns ‘charismatic bad boy’ and starts to develop feelings that may or may not be reciprocated. He makes an enemy of Jakes girlfriend and everything starts going downhill from there. Not long after this a body is found and Zac is a suspect, this is the beginning of a quest for Zac to clear his name and find out who the real killer is.
The main character is unreliable and not all that likeable but we do end up rooting for him and feeling for him and some of the other characters. The majority of this cast are unlikeable and morally grey which makes it even more interesting as the dynamics are shifted and you don’t now who to root for. You won’t be able to put this book down once it gets going. This at first seems like just a simple small town murder mystery but it takes a very dark and sinister turn and gets weird fast. I found myself constantly second guessing throughout and the vivid descriptions create an otherworldly experience, mystery turns to horror and witchcraft and then tragedy. I have never read anything like this book, I think fans of Donnie Darko, American Psycho and The Craft would love this.
Zac has unfortunately gotten a bad reputation after a video of him goes viral around his town, he drops out of collage and goes to work in an ice cream stand for the summer. Sounds simple right? Wrong. Zac befriends the towns ‘charismatic bad boy’ and starts to develop feelings that may or may not be reciprocated. He makes an enemy of Jakes girlfriend and everything starts going downhill from there. Not long after this a body is found and Zac is a suspect, this is the beginning of a quest for Zac to clear his name and find out who the real killer is.
The main character is unreliable and not all that likeable but we do end up rooting for him and feeling for him and some of the other characters. The majority of this cast are unlikeable and morally grey which makes it even more interesting as the dynamics are shifted and you don’t now who to root for. You won’t be able to put this book down once it gets going. This at first seems like just a simple small town murder mystery but it takes a very dark and sinister turn and gets weird fast. I found myself constantly second guessing throughout and the vivid descriptions create an otherworldly experience, mystery turns to horror and witchcraft and then tragedy. I have never read anything like this book, I think fans of Donnie Darko, American Psycho and The Craft would love this.
February 16, 2024
I received an advance review copy for free from BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I went into this expecting a thriller, but got something that felt a little more like light splatterpunk or psychological horror. Not that I'm upset at that, but the summary didn't do it justice.
First off, I wasn't expecting Zac and others he has sexual encounters with to be teenagers and I'm still unsure if they're actually teenagers (16 to 17) or just turned adults. I don't think I missed anything, and it felt vague with the UK college references and them being called teenagers by parents and authority figures. It made me a little uncomfortable, especially with the leaked sex tape. I found myself skimming the sex scenes because of it so I wasn't as immersed during those parts.
I did like how the lines between reality and Zac's mind blurred, but it definitely felt rushed near the end. I liked the slow ease into it at the beginning and then how the reader and Zac gradually both aren't sure of what's reality, memory or fantasy. The ending felt like it was trying to be a mix of two reveals in a way, and felt underwhelming and abrupt compared to the rest of the book.
Overall, I did like the gritty, kind of grimy feeling of the settings and the unsureness of everything. It was super compelling and made twists feel exciting.
I went into this expecting a thriller, but got something that felt a little more like light splatterpunk or psychological horror. Not that I'm upset at that, but the summary didn't do it justice.
First off, I wasn't expecting Zac and others he has sexual encounters with to be teenagers and I'm still unsure if they're actually teenagers (16 to 17) or just turned adults. I don't think I missed anything, and it felt vague with the UK college references and them being called teenagers by parents and authority figures. It made me a little uncomfortable, especially with the leaked sex tape. I found myself skimming the sex scenes because of it so I wasn't as immersed during those parts.
I did like how the lines between reality and Zac's mind blurred, but it definitely felt rushed near the end. I liked the slow ease into it at the beginning and then how the reader and Zac gradually both aren't sure of what's reality, memory or fantasy. The ending felt like it was trying to be a mix of two reveals in a way, and felt underwhelming and abrupt compared to the rest of the book.
Overall, I did like the gritty, kind of grimy feeling of the settings and the unsureness of everything. It was super compelling and made twists feel exciting.
February 21, 2024
Thank you to netgalley for the arc in exchange for a review!
eh. i just didn't care that much. it ended on an extreme cliffhanger, which could have been the real ending or it could've been an error with my arc, and it kinda says something that i couldn't tell which. i read this for the popsugar prompt 'unreliable narrator' and boy was he unreliable so i'll give him that!
zac falls in love with literally every single guy he looks at. at a certain point if the 'obsession with jake is so strong that he has to kill people' plot thread is going to work, he has to actually committ to being obssessed with jake and not men in general. that being said malaki was the most interesting character. i'm ignoring whatever he did at the end because otherwise he was FASCINATING.
i frequently enjoy not knowing what's going on in books but that usually only works if i really care about the characters, and unfortunuately i just didn't. maybe this is someone else's ice cream float but it's not mine.
eh. i just didn't care that much. it ended on an extreme cliffhanger, which could have been the real ending or it could've been an error with my arc, and it kinda says something that i couldn't tell which. i read this for the popsugar prompt 'unreliable narrator' and boy was he unreliable so i'll give him that!
zac falls in love with literally every single guy he looks at. at a certain point if the 'obsession with jake is so strong that he has to kill people' plot thread is going to work, he has to actually committ to being obssessed with jake and not men in general. that being said malaki was the most interesting character. i'm ignoring whatever he did at the end because otherwise he was FASCINATING.
i frequently enjoy not knowing what's going on in books but that usually only works if i really care about the characters, and unfortunuately i just didn't. maybe this is someone else's ice cream float but it's not mine.
June 3, 2024
Zac is a troubled teen that got busted in uni for smoking weed. So, in the hopes that he might finally change his ways, his mom got him into a summer camp job. Not just any summer camp though. This one is for troubled teens to help them get back on their feet and turn their life back around. Zac thinks it's going to be a boring job and waste of time until he meets Jake. Cool, charismatic Jake who everyone can't help but like. Zac included. But when a local girl gets murdered on the very beach they have to work on for the summer, not everything is sunshine and lollipops.
When I was selected to read this book, I did not know what I had gotten myself into. I did not actively go looking to read horror/ occult fiction. I've read fiction where such elements are part of the bigger story. But I could not tell you how mind blowing this book was. Psychological thriller is definitely where this book belongs in because the twists and turns that I went on with Zac throughout his journey into the mystery of the murder was insane. And the ending was definitely not what I expected either.
I'm glad I got to read this book. It was well written and if this ever got to be made into a movie, I would love to see how it was played out.
When I was selected to read this book, I did not know what I had gotten myself into. I did not actively go looking to read horror/ occult fiction. I've read fiction where such elements are part of the bigger story. But I could not tell you how mind blowing this book was. Psychological thriller is definitely where this book belongs in because the twists and turns that I went on with Zac throughout his journey into the mystery of the murder was insane. And the ending was definitely not what I expected either.
I'm glad I got to read this book. It was well written and if this ever got to be made into a movie, I would love to see how it was played out.
February 5, 2024
I received a free ARC, and this review is voluntary.
The synopsis provides an understanding of what the story is about; however, it's one piece of a larger puzzle. Each chapter of the story is one more piece of that puzzle, but the appearance of that picture is not illuminated until the end. Much like Zac on his amateur detective quest, the reader is also guessing, or attempting to understand through the confusion of the situation at-large. Being pulled in one direction, now it's a redirect, or maybe we never left the station at all. How it was written - a hook eventually in my mouth, slowly pulling me to the shore.
Whenever I had a free moment in my day, my eyes were back to scanning each page. Needing to know what will happen next. This piece of literature made me feel a range of emotions, and I think that's what makes a good book. Capturing not just your attention, but your heart as well. It cannot be overstated how well this author can write.
The synopsis provides an understanding of what the story is about; however, it's one piece of a larger puzzle. Each chapter of the story is one more piece of that puzzle, but the appearance of that picture is not illuminated until the end. Much like Zac on his amateur detective quest, the reader is also guessing, or attempting to understand through the confusion of the situation at-large. Being pulled in one direction, now it's a redirect, or maybe we never left the station at all. How it was written - a hook eventually in my mouth, slowly pulling me to the shore.
Whenever I had a free moment in my day, my eyes were back to scanning each page. Needing to know what will happen next. This piece of literature made me feel a range of emotions, and I think that's what makes a good book. Capturing not just your attention, but your heart as well. It cannot be overstated how well this author can write.
February 18, 2024
This book was so wild and unhinged. A truly mind-bending, heart racing tale of horny teendom, exploitation and mental illness.
The novel is first person POV from main character Zac, with events that quickly escalate and spiral to an unprecedented level of unhinged thoughts and actions. If you look up unhinged in the dictionary, a picture of this book would be there.
Side note, I enjoyed the commentary of Zac feeling like an object after his intimate private videos were released.
It was so hard to understand what was going on throughout the novel but especially toward the end which was amazing. I had so much anxiety and read this book in one day, it was that gripping. This novel is prime unreliable narrator, which is a trope I love.
Reading this while on another planet (🍃)- especially toward the end- was WILD, highly recommend
CW: SA, drug use, mental illness, death, gore, violence,
The novel is first person POV from main character Zac, with events that quickly escalate and spiral to an unprecedented level of unhinged thoughts and actions. If you look up unhinged in the dictionary, a picture of this book would be there.
Side note, I enjoyed the commentary of Zac feeling like an object after his intimate private videos were released.
It was so hard to understand what was going on throughout the novel but especially toward the end which was amazing. I had so much anxiety and read this book in one day, it was that gripping. This novel is prime unreliable narrator, which is a trope I love.
Reading this while on another planet (🍃)- especially toward the end- was WILD, highly recommend
CW: SA, drug use, mental illness, death, gore, violence,
September 3, 2024
Cream is a novel about a deranged young man and his gradual dissociation from life. What started as the story of Zac’s infatuation with his coworker at his summer job, it soon became much more: strange experiences keep happening to the protagonist and it’s progressively more difficult to understand if they are real or not. Everything bring back to the question: can we trust the Zac’s words or is it everything a big hallucination? I can’t hide that it wasn’t an easy read: there are some parts where the slash is really slashing! If it’s not your cup of tea, I advise against reading this. The writing style that the author uses perfectly reflect the broken mind of the protagonist, but I felt it became too list-y in parts. However, if you like this genre, you’ll be in for a nice surprise. Lots of blood, rituals and violence as well as some gratuitous sex and strange apparitions make this book an interesting read.
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