Oh, that was bad. So bad, in fact, that I'm not even sure where to start. I have no idea why I kept reading the book, except that it was a train wreck: I simply could not look away.
Bottom line: I didn't buy this as any kind of romance novel (and it's not really erotica, either). Instead, it's a story about horrible people being horrible to one another. I don't really care what their reasons were (and they were overblown and, frankly, ridiculous. Tangent: I never thought I'd read a book that made me laugh out loud at an incident of domestic violence, but -- it's kind of like that scene in Pulp Fiction where that kid gets shot in the head inside the car, and you can't help laughing at it, but the whole time you feel awful about laughing -- I couldn't help it./tangent), and I don't really care if they ever make it to happily ever after in a future book, because this one cuts off abruptly and stupidly.
Anyway... you might as well ask for specifics, so here you go. A partial list of what I didn't like about this book:
1. Liam. Sure, he starts out a kind stranger, but then he loses his mind and decides to reveal his identity as the bajillionaire founder of Zoogle (not kidding) in a batshit crazy fit of epic proportions. He decides to hire Ella, a desperate woman on the run a la Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy who is, at this point, making it work with a job at a Wal-Mart snack bar in middle-of-nowhere Arkansas, for $20,000 per week in exchange for her "being there" whenever he should "need" her (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more). Of course, he has to point out that he's not ever going to marry her, that love is out of the question, and that it'll only last a month. But, hey, that's $80,000 he knows she needs, so obvs she'll say yes, right? Then he throws about $3,000 in hundreds up in the air because, and I quote, "Women the world over appreciated money rain." And all I could wonder was how Zoogle ended up such a success with this turkey at the helm.
And she goes with him. And she's still attracted to him after that! And after all the other crazy things! Oy. But that takes me to the second thing I didn't like...
2. Ella. OK honey, I get that you're Julia Roberts in this story (to such an extent that her fake name is Julie), but can we just talk for a second about your crazy behavior? You meet a guy in your snack bar, and you know three things about him: (1) his hair falls over one of his eyes all the time, making you want to run your hands through it (or something), (2) his eyes are beautiful, (3) he's a fan of 'fancy mustard'. Based on this knowledge, you kiss him in a bar, then give him a hasty drunken blow job (outside the bar) that goes south fast, then let him take you to his hotel room, and you spend a celibate night with him. You're suddenly obsessed with him, because of hair, eyes, and mustard. And after the money rain, all you can think is that you miss the guy with the hair, eyes, and mustard, and you just have to go with him into an unknown, likely awful, situation because... what? why? And -- seriously -- you have to drag your weird not-quite-friends with you? what? why? Which leads me to...
3. Willow. As Ella/Julie's erstwhile friend, Willow comes along for the ride and then proceeds to act like Christina Ricci's character from Black Snake Moan (before she gets chained to a radiator), drinking nonstop, finding and taking all sorts of drugs, and fucking everything that doesn't move faster than she does. And that's fine, as far as one's life choices go. But, in a book like this, that shit'll get you killed, and it does. Willow dies of an overdose, and her death serves as a source of conflict between our intrepid lovers (that's Liam and Ella, in case you couldn't tell). Liam and Ella make a huge fucking deal about Willow's death on the night she actually died, but within a day or two, they seem to have completely forgotten about it (and then the book just ends, so... yeah.). Way to go, Willow.
4. Liam's and Ella's issues. By the time Liam makes money rain, the reader knows he has issues. (We know this because he tells us.) And we already knew that Ella had issues. The problem is that their issues are -- at least until the end and Liam's big reveal about his Awful Past -- unbearably uneven. Ella is on the run from her abusive husband, and she's lost everything. Her family didn't believe he was abusing her (although that's difficult to imagine...), and she's lost her identity. She's broken, and she describes herself as "dead." Liam, on the other hand, tells the reader he's got all these issues and had a shitty childhood, but then he elaborates that his dad was really critical and mocked him for having a mishap when taking out the trash this one time, and -- also -- Liam used to get socks for Christmas. And I was like, wait... seriously? That's your big issue? The heroine has scars on her body from her abusive husband, but your getting socks for Christmas is equally awful? Oh. hell. no.
It's late in the book when Liam finally shares the full version of his childhood trauma story, and it is actually traumatic, but... the damage was done. I just didn't care. And the same held true when Ella finally revealed the full story of the fucking crazy thing her husband did to her. The narrative hints here and there throughout the book that it was awful, that it made Ella as ugly on the outside as she felt on the inside, that her husband had branded her. Over and over the narrative mentioned it, and it was built up as this huge fucking thing. And it is, really... I'm not diminishing the awfulness of what her husband did... but....... he branded her by carving (I shit you not) "U R M" onto one breast and "I N E" onto the other. What the fuck. Why even write that? Domestic violence is real and it happens every day... there's no need to make it over the top (although maybe I'm just upset because it made me think that he'd snapchatted all over her breasts). Besides, Ella makes such a big deal about how no one believed that he'd been abusing her, that her own parents didn't believe her, and all I could think was, seriously... all you had to do was flash them. Come fucking on.
5. Nathan. This book had to have a stupid and pointless not quite love triangle, right? Nathan is a Nice Guy, and I wanted to throttle him throughout the book. (To be honest, I wanted to throttle Ella, too.) It was just what the book needed, really... a Nice Guy.
6. There's going to be another book. The book ends after Liam unexpectedly pops the question on Ella, and she wails for a while and then admits DUN DUN DUN!!!!! that she's still married. The end. Abrupt cut. That's all you get for your troubles. (And poor Willow didn't even get her funeral...)
7. The writing is pretty damn bad. I could share all my favorite quotes (beyond the money rain, of course) and talk about the narration style (first person past told in alternating POV) and why it didn't work for the story (it would have been much more palatable if readers never had to go inside Liam's head. It's just not a pleasant place to be.), but I'll go one further. I can't fathom why this story needed to be told.
*I received an e-galley from the publisher via NetGalley for review consideration.*