The Harm We Do Ourselves

by Jean Akouri

Sami is summoned for an interrogation over the murder of someone he met once years earlier. The victim is yet another gay man found dead at home, as occurs frequently in Lebanon. This one though had a prominent father, which ensured detectives investigating his death would leave no stone unturned.

As Beirut buzzes with the scandal, Sami finds himself talking about nothing else all week – getting engaged in conversations he’d rather not have with friends and relatives who are concerned he would meet the same fate.

He grudgingly revisits all that it means to be homosexual in today’s world, especially for gay people living in countries where their legal rights to even exist have not yet been acknowledged. Where they remain largely invisible and have been written out of history. Where traditions, religions, laws, and general social environments force them to cope by pretending their lives away …

While hopeful for a healthier future for gay people everywhere, Sami emphasizes the crucial need for homosexuals to reflect on how their prevailing lifestyles promote self-destruction. He also rallies against Western “LGBTQ+” politics, highlighting their nefarious impact on how homosexuals have come to be perceived around the world.

127 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 5, 2024

Reviews

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was made available on NetGalley for an honest review.

It was less than a hundred pages but it was a struggle to read. It is less of a fictional novel and more of an extended debate about gay (and later trans) rights in Lebanon and in the US.

The main character, Sami, is an out gay man, who is incredibly judgmental towards other gay men who are more promiscuous than him, and also gay men who are closeted. Actually, his view was contradictory to me, because he talks about how gay people are discriminated against and learn to hate themselves from the beginning, and even their legal rights to existence is debated, but then still judges people who don't come out? Still, at this point I was still going to give this book 3 stars, because I was trying to come at this with an open mind for a man whose cultural experience is very different from my own.

But then it just goes into shitting on trans people, honestly. The two main characters claim they aren't transphobic because they support "genuinely trans people", they are only against "trans ideology in the West", like "men deciding to be women" or trans women wanting to be in women's sports - so really, I don't really understand which part of trans people they support? The characters also insist that gay people must separate themselves from the harmful trans ideology because being gay is not the same as "constantly changing pronouns".

So, yeah. I tried to take this with an open mind, but as a fictional book it's unenjoyable and badly written, and as an essay/debate/whatever it is very judgmental and transphobic.

[Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting novel which came across as more of a critical analysis of being gay in Lebanon vs the West. A loose murder plot line attempted to weave a narrative but I didn’t think this added anything to the story at all. A very short read which taught me things I don’t often think about.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC

[Frank Darwiche · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Harm We Do Ourselves is not a mere novel, with different characters developing in a certain predetermined environment and evolving each in his or her own way. We are rather at the heart of a play, which one would really like to see enacted in a theatre in Beirut, London, New York or anywhere for that matter where homosexuality may be discussed and where woke ideology may be critiqued on its own terms and made to answer. Sami is not just an angst-ridden homosexual, nor an individual out on a crusade of hetero-bashing. He is firstly one who refuses to occupy the margin and remain there, and especially one who goes against the current grain of strategic essentialism – as if there were some essences left and even less invented and discarded at will – and that novel woke idea which makes anyone outside a group unable by definition to truly engage with it, thus inaugurating a world of communities unable to truly communicate. Sami is a happy walking-wounded man, who is a whirlwind of awareness of a community’s failures and its own internal strife – with the unwitting harm it has brought on itself itself. The reader finds this protagonist simple at first, as he engages in everyday banter with his friend Maya. But the everyday slowly unravels a painful (hi)story of rebellion and resistance which has brought a lucidity the reader discovers in complex layers which come to form a dialogue worthy of a stage enactment. A definitely excellent and enjoyable read.

[Hani Raad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Akouri’s writing is deeply reflective, capturing the internal conflicts of a man who must constantly navigate between authenticity and survival. Sami’s journey is not just one of external conflict but also an exploration of his own role in shaping his fate. As he faces his fears and examines his choices, Akouri leaves readers with a sense of urgency: the need for individuals and communities to take responsibility for their own well-being.

What elevates The Harm We Do Ourselves beyond a mere character study is its broader message about the importance of guiding youth as they face similar struggles. The novel offers a compelling argument for providing mentorship, support, and counseling to younger generations as they navigate the complexities of identity and self-acceptance. Akouri’s portrayal of Sami’s isolation and vulnerability highlights the need for safe spaces where youth can explore their identities without fear of judgment or repression. Counseling, in this sense, becomes not just an emotional crutch but a lifeline—one that can prevent the self-destructive behaviors that too often arise in those who feel misunderstood or marginalized.

The novel never loses sight of its underlying hope for a better future, challenging readers to envision a world where acceptance, both internal and external, is possible.

[Barbara Tsipouras · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose his book because of the location. I was interested in reading something authentic from that country, as I always try to read about foreign countries in their own voice. The issue of homosexuality made me curious, as I suspected there might be a lot of oppression in a country of the Middle East.
But this book was totally different from what I expected. There's not really a story, but a series of dialogues where Sami talks about being gay in Lebanon or anywhere else. And it's fascinating to see the world from a perspective totally unknown to me.
I must admit that I was surprised by his take on the LGTBQ+ movement, stating that "lumping together completely unrelated groups, and making more and more provocative demands are gravely impacting perception of gays all over the world as these absurdities are being associated with us." I guess he is right.

[Moe Fatrouni · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book has a really interesting hook! Straightforward and specific.
The author talked about experiences of homosexuals around the world from the perspective of a gay man in Lebanon. He focused on how gays can help themselves and each other to live better. The LGBTQ+ around the world might not agree at some point with the author when he criticizes LGBTQ politics but i assume that's because they did not live in a country where they can't express themselves and everyone experienced and lived their sexuality in a different way. Gay rights got lost between transgender rights This book is important to read, especially for homosexuals and people who care about them.

[Roula Allam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this was an enlightening read. It was interesting to find out the kinds of thoughts that go through a gay man's mind. Although a truly personal account, gays in the Middle East may surely understand the author's emotions, moods, and outlook, while those in the west will find the differences in day to day life, and maybe some parallels, absorbing. People who have gay friends or family members can also gain helpful insight from this title.

Additionally, I feel I learnt quite a lot of interesting facts and information from the book, which was written in a clear and straightforward style, making it an easy read.

[George Afif · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a lot about homosexuals that I didn’t know. The story itself is interesting and flows well. The dialogue was intense throughout most of the read. It provided a lot of insight into the life experiences of homosexuals. What was most interesting is that it flipped the usual narrative of gays being the victim. While it acknowledged harsh realities that most live through, the underlying theme was that gays can make sure they live in a more healthy manner. There was a lot of historical info thrown in as well, which infused more facts into the pages.

[Alex Jackman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blissfully brief, The Harm We Do Ourselves is certainly doing more harm than good. It’s an elementary two-hander from an author who definitely doesn’t include the T in their LGB. A ham-handed dialogue between a gay and his bestie where the author word-vomits out his internalized homophobia.

I’m trying to leave room for culture-clash or some other personal blindspot or shortcoming, but I think this is just ill-informed and badly written. Skip it — especially if your own journey out of self-hatred isn’t complete.

[Stacey Mckeogh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Even though this is a really short read i did find it a bit of a slog. There is no real storyline - the murder plot just doesn't seem necessary and though this is essential a 'conversation' between a gay man and his friend it didn't flow like a natural conversation would but felt more like an essay on the lives of gay/trans people in Lebanon - which, though very important, came across a little bit preachy.

[Virgowriter (Brad Windhauser) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Potential, but as the entire text is a series of dialogues, there’s not much character or story. Novel is designed to provide a defense of homosexuality in Lebanon. The atrocious anti-trans rhetorics that appears late is truly sad. Although the author (or Sami) might truly believe it’s better to be gay in Beirut than the West, but we never see all this acceptance of outpouring of queer acceptance there. Comes off as a lot of self loathing.

[Nadia Assaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, outstanding and very well written.
This book will leave a different you with a different perspective and challenge you.

[Mia Caven · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this concept a lot tbh. Would say 3.5 not 4 if I could on this silly app