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Psychophilia
Plagued with strange memory gaps, Charlotte wants her life back, even if someone has to die for her to get it. She has tried so hard to be what Gregory wanted her to be, and yet still he doesn't love her. Pregnant, miserable, and knowing she is being betrayed by the one person she had left to rely on, she promises herself that she will do whatever it takes.
She must learn the truth about what happened before that day on the lake, but lies can be seductive and easier to believe, especially when they are her own.
She must learn the truth about what happened before that day on the lake, but lies can be seductive and easier to believe, especially when they are her own.
300 pages, Paperback
First published April 27, 2014
84 people are currently reading
1107 people want to read
About the author
Michelle Muckley
13 books62 followersI was born in the town of Warwick in 1981. It is a small historical town in the heart of England, and Ι was the fifth child born into a family of boys. I developed a huge interest in the written world from a young age, and with more than a little help from Roald Dahl found quite the taste for anything gross and gory. Book club at primary school only proved to increase my love of escaping into the world of a book. Whilst six years at secondary school did little to quell the romantic notion of one day sitting in my mountain cabin and smoking a celebratory cigarette as the first novel was born, somewhere within those six years the dream of becoming a writer got put on hold. Still resting quietly in the background were those long and lingering desires to once again rediscover those old aspirations to write.
About six years ago, with the smouldering embers of a childhood dream sparking uncomfortably underfoot there was what can only be called an epiphany. Who is it that actually becomes a writer? It's the people who write. It's the people who actually do more than say, 'I have a dream'. Whilst this may sound simplistic, it was the revelation I needed to sit down and type Chapter One. The first book, The Loss of Deference was no longer just a fantasy and slowly became a workable manuscript. It was then sent out in eagerness before it was properly edited and therefore it was duly returned, and along with it I collected a nice set of standard rejection letters. Six years later, having uprooted from England to settle on the southern Mediterranean shores of Cyprus, the dream to publish the book once deemed nothing more than a pipe dream is now a reality. I am still working as a part time scientist, but I am also writing daily. When I am not sat at the computer typing about the darker side of life, you will find me hiking in the mountains, drinking frappe at the beach, or talking to myself in the kitchen in the style of an American celebrity chef. Just think Ina Garten.
What people saying about The Loss of Deference.
"The final few chapters as the novel races to its finish is a white-knuckle ride, and more than once I wanted to close my eyes so that I might not see what I was sure was coming."
"Michelle Muckley created a believable dystopian world inhabited by intriguing characters"
"I can't wait to read more from this talented new writer."
"An imaginative, clever and thought provoking book which had me hooked from the first chapter."
About six years ago, with the smouldering embers of a childhood dream sparking uncomfortably underfoot there was what can only be called an epiphany. Who is it that actually becomes a writer? It's the people who write. It's the people who actually do more than say, 'I have a dream'. Whilst this may sound simplistic, it was the revelation I needed to sit down and type Chapter One. The first book, The Loss of Deference was no longer just a fantasy and slowly became a workable manuscript. It was then sent out in eagerness before it was properly edited and therefore it was duly returned, and along with it I collected a nice set of standard rejection letters. Six years later, having uprooted from England to settle on the southern Mediterranean shores of Cyprus, the dream to publish the book once deemed nothing more than a pipe dream is now a reality. I am still working as a part time scientist, but I am also writing daily. When I am not sat at the computer typing about the darker side of life, you will find me hiking in the mountains, drinking frappe at the beach, or talking to myself in the kitchen in the style of an American celebrity chef. Just think Ina Garten.
What people saying about The Loss of Deference.
"The final few chapters as the novel races to its finish is a white-knuckle ride, and more than once I wanted to close my eyes so that I might not see what I was sure was coming."
"Michelle Muckley created a believable dystopian world inhabited by intriguing characters"
"I can't wait to read more from this talented new writer."
"An imaginative, clever and thought provoking book which had me hooked from the first chapter."
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
August 18, 2014
Strange story. Serious mind fuck with all the twists and turns. The thing is, I didn't feel like I was enjoying it at all. There are a few things that really bother me about it. I'd mention them but I don't want to give any spoilers. The beginning is a little slow, but then it picks up. The ending was kind of frustrating, but it is what it is. I felt anger, I felt pity, sadness. I couldn't put this book down. I honestly have no idea if I should recommend this book or not. Yeah, go ahead, it's a quick read.
August 18, 2014
Muddled writing and tense shifts so severe it was like reading the book during a literary earthquake, this book has some intriguing moments, mostly spoiled by poor pacing. I don't have a proper take away feeling from this book other than a simmering disappointment. Whatever the point of the story was supposed to have been was lost in our main character's severe mental illness, which is never truly explained. We are left to think it was caused by a botched suicide attempt, but we're never really let in to why she has crippling OCD.
May 3, 2014
I received a free copy of this from a giveaway the author had on Booklikes.
This sounded so unique and interesting, I have never read anything remotely like this.
The story is about a woman, Charlotte, who is recovering from memory loss and psychosis she is pregnant and thinks her husband Gregory is having an affair. This is quite a disturbing story where you really get into Charlotte's mind and explore her dark thoughts.
The writing is great and very descriptive, I found it really captivating in places and hard to put down, but at other points it felt it dragged a little, but it really picks up towards the end and there are defiantly several things I did not see coming. Including something that had me sitting on my couch like, WHAT! no...hang on.
If your into things that make you think and twist your mind, pick this up!!
More in depth review will be available on my blog;
http://warmteareads.booklikes.com/blog
This sounded so unique and interesting, I have never read anything remotely like this.
The story is about a woman, Charlotte, who is recovering from memory loss and psychosis she is pregnant and thinks her husband Gregory is having an affair. This is quite a disturbing story where you really get into Charlotte's mind and explore her dark thoughts.
The writing is great and very descriptive, I found it really captivating in places and hard to put down, but at other points it felt it dragged a little, but it really picks up towards the end and there are defiantly several things I did not see coming. Including something that had me sitting on my couch like, WHAT! no...hang on.
If your into things that make you think and twist your mind, pick this up!!
More in depth review will be available on my blog;
http://warmteareads.booklikes.com/blog
August 21, 2014
After plodding through pages and pages of Charlottes crippling OCD handwashing, mouth rinsing and baby wipe use a proper ending would have been good. However we're just left with nothing, no resolution, no explanations and in a way it feels like we're at the beginning of a story not the end. Very frustrating.
October 27, 2014
Psychological Thriller Review
No I am so sorry but just no.
A disturbing psychological thriller?
Absolutely no.
- based on the humble and possibly inaccurate musings of a lowly reader with a doctorate in Psychology
No I am so sorry but just no.
A disturbing psychological thriller?
Absolutely no.
- based on the humble and possibly inaccurate musings of a lowly reader with a doctorate in Psychology
November 25, 2014
Sorry to say this is another that just didn't grab my interest within the first 5 chapters. Some of this kind of book I can understand why it is free, it just doesn't sell.
April 30, 2014
I received an ARC free from the author in exchange for my honest review.
Psychophilia, by Michelle Muckley is structured around a woman recovering from memory loss and psychosis. She is pregnant, and very excited to be so, but her husband has recently seemed to lose interest in her. She is afraid that he is having an affair with their, altogether too perfect, Japanese maid, Ishiko. She wants her husband's affection back, and secretly imagines murdering her beautiful young maid.
Michelle's writing style is clear and evocative, she creates an aura of intrigue and tension with her words, which makes for exciting reading. The book is very hard to put down, and extremely suspenseful.
The characters are realistically drawn, but none too likable, especially the prime protagonists, Charlotte and Gregory, the husband and wife team around whom the story unfolds. However, this in no way detracts from the tale, in fact it kinda creates a morbid curiosity for the reader to relish. Suspense pulses throughout the piece and makes the book a rollicking page-turner of a novel.
I especially liked the dark, foreboding air that swirls through the story, it engulfs the protagonists and promotes the concept of confusion so inherent in the work. Life after all, seldom produces satisfying reaction to reason, and even more so where mental illness is present. This is a disturbing tale about a woman whose distraught emotions are more a product of her own mind than the reality in which she finds herself. Her existence is fraught with imaginings, and makes for more than one jaw-dropping twist in the story.
This review first appeared on Extaordinaryreads
Psychophilia, by Michelle Muckley is structured around a woman recovering from memory loss and psychosis. She is pregnant, and very excited to be so, but her husband has recently seemed to lose interest in her. She is afraid that he is having an affair with their, altogether too perfect, Japanese maid, Ishiko. She wants her husband's affection back, and secretly imagines murdering her beautiful young maid.
Michelle's writing style is clear and evocative, she creates an aura of intrigue and tension with her words, which makes for exciting reading. The book is very hard to put down, and extremely suspenseful.
The characters are realistically drawn, but none too likable, especially the prime protagonists, Charlotte and Gregory, the husband and wife team around whom the story unfolds. However, this in no way detracts from the tale, in fact it kinda creates a morbid curiosity for the reader to relish. Suspense pulses throughout the piece and makes the book a rollicking page-turner of a novel.
I especially liked the dark, foreboding air that swirls through the story, it engulfs the protagonists and promotes the concept of confusion so inherent in the work. Life after all, seldom produces satisfying reaction to reason, and even more so where mental illness is present. This is a disturbing tale about a woman whose distraught emotions are more a product of her own mind than the reality in which she finds herself. Her existence is fraught with imaginings, and makes for more than one jaw-dropping twist in the story.
This review first appeared on Extaordinaryreads
September 3, 2014
I don't know how to feel about this one!
I thought I would be giving this book 4 stars, right up until the end.
I enjoyed most of the story. Perhaps "enjoy" is the wrong word, because it's actually a pretty depressing (ha, ha) story. Another reviewer used the word bleak to describe it, and I think that fits perfectly.
Rather, I appreciated much of the story. I admire the style of the book, how the MC's mental illness made you realize right up front that she was likely an unreliable narrator, leaving you on tenterhooks the entire time, not knowing what was really true. I also admired how well the author was able to portray the manifestations of mental illness, how Charlotte rationalizes her actions, and her insight into them and the fact that they were not "normal". This is one of those times the writing is so effective that you begin to examine the question of your own sanity :)
I thought I saw what was coming in the story, not the details but rather the fact that we were going to be blindsided when the revelations finally came. But then, did they ever come? I mean, they did, but not in any way that I could understand. I feel like we were told what was really going on, but I'm not really sure what exactly we were told, it was confusing, and now I have more questions than I ever did while reading.
Unfortunately, it was this confusion and unsatisfactory ending that reduced my rating from 4 to 3 stars. Bummer.
I thought I would be giving this book 4 stars, right up until the end.
I enjoyed most of the story. Perhaps "enjoy" is the wrong word, because it's actually a pretty depressing (ha, ha) story. Another reviewer used the word bleak to describe it, and I think that fits perfectly.
Rather, I appreciated much of the story. I admire the style of the book, how the MC's mental illness made you realize right up front that she was likely an unreliable narrator, leaving you on tenterhooks the entire time, not knowing what was really true. I also admired how well the author was able to portray the manifestations of mental illness, how Charlotte rationalizes her actions, and her insight into them and the fact that they were not "normal". This is one of those times the writing is so effective that you begin to examine the question of your own sanity :)
I thought I saw what was coming in the story, not the details but rather the fact that we were going to be blindsided when the revelations finally came. But then, did they ever come? I mean, they did, but not in any way that I could understand. I feel like we were told what was really going on, but I'm not really sure what exactly we were told, it was confusing, and now I have more questions than I ever did while reading.
Unfortunately, it was this confusion and unsatisfactory ending that reduced my rating from 4 to 3 stars. Bummer.
May 9, 2014
Psychophilia by Michelle Muckley
Pregnant Charlotte is suffering from memory loss. She knows what she is blocking out is something life altering, disruptive and disturbing. She needs to find out what happened, why she can't remember? What is she blocking out and why? She feels betrayed by her husband George, she doesn't know who to trust, she just wants her life back.
A dark dramatic psychological story filled with secrets, lies & betrayal. Charlotte is troubled but likable. Written from her point of view I could feel her emotions, her frustrations, confusion, tension and her yearning to live a "normal" life. The plot was original, and I really liked that.
I recommend to those who like a good psychological read, with secrets, drama, lies and strong emotions.
Pregnant Charlotte is suffering from memory loss. She knows what she is blocking out is something life altering, disruptive and disturbing. She needs to find out what happened, why she can't remember? What is she blocking out and why? She feels betrayed by her husband George, she doesn't know who to trust, she just wants her life back.
A dark dramatic psychological story filled with secrets, lies & betrayal. Charlotte is troubled but likable. Written from her point of view I could feel her emotions, her frustrations, confusion, tension and her yearning to live a "normal" life. The plot was original, and I really liked that.
I recommend to those who like a good psychological read, with secrets, drama, lies and strong emotions.
June 1, 2014
Charlotte is insane, at least that seems to be what everyone around her thinks. She doesn't seem to fit in her life. She isn't sure she's ever quite fit. Since her "accident," aka suicide attempt, she's missing a good portion of memory. What is reality? What is madness? Can she ever find out?
An intricate and intense narrative drives characters and readers through this world of potential madness. Due to the point of view, at times, there is an almost claustrophobic sensation as the lead character seems to be feeling. Without giving away too much plot, I shall stop here.
Characters are authentic, intense, calculating, and emotional.
Overall, powerful read.
An intricate and intense narrative drives characters and readers through this world of potential madness. Due to the point of view, at times, there is an almost claustrophobic sensation as the lead character seems to be feeling. Without giving away too much plot, I shall stop here.
Characters are authentic, intense, calculating, and emotional.
Overall, powerful read.
August 18, 2014
Weird
Weird
This book is slow and at times, hard to follow. I don't feel like I know the whole story behind the characters even after finishing the book. I honestly can't recommend this book because I think it is all over the place and I wouldn't call it a "Thriller" at all.
Weird
This book is slow and at times, hard to follow. I don't feel like I know the whole story behind the characters even after finishing the book. I honestly can't recommend this book because I think it is all over the place and I wouldn't call it a "Thriller" at all.
August 20, 2014
Well. Huh. Speechless. That pretty much sums it up.
November 26, 2014
God awful rubbish..... Not sure why I finished it.....
August 18, 2019
Psychologically disturbing from start to finish. The novel reminds me of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night as it is written in the first person and reflects the inner torments of the protagonist, not autism but OCD and psychosis.
Charlotte is married to Gregory and appears to have had a breakdown following a failed suicide attempt. Like many people with OCD, she is obsessed with germs and she washes her hands several times, almost ritually. Everywhere she goes she wears gloves, even keeping bacterial wipes to clean her gloves when she touches something. This is one of the characters’ idiosyncrasies and is a way of distinguishing her from the other characters. Equally disturbing is the self-harm. She not only cuts herself as a measurement of her pregnancy but when she gets a cut on her hand, she continually opens the wound to make it bleed. Bleeding for her appears to be a release of tension.
At the beginning of the novel she is still working as a high-end estate agent, but it is obvious Gregory feels this is unnecessary and probably diminishing to his status. She suspects he is having an affair with their maid Ishiko and this reinforces her paranoia and unstable state of mind.
First-person narratives are naturally intimate as you experience events through the thoughts and actions of the main character. This approach causes restrictions and bias when looking at other characters. Even with this in mind, I am not a fan of Gregory Astor. The name itself suggests monied privilege and a man used to getting what he wants. Ishiko’s warning about the frog in a well seems quite perceptive. Someone shielded and cut off from the outside world does not see the bigger picture. I feel Charlotte’s desperate need to be loved by Gregory blinds her from seeing who he really is and there is the sinister suggestion that he is part of the problem, not the solution.
The Astor’s neighbour Graham, has a mistress, Marianne, who lives with him during the week and leaves when his wife Mary returns home at the weekend. Charlotte becomes obsessed with Marianne, as a mistress she needs to be punished. She makes friends with her and through this, we see Marianne’s drinking problems and depression, which make her verbose and indiscreet in contrast with Ishiko.
Later in the novel, we learn about Charlotte’s childhood and her father’s death, there is even a suggestion that he was having an affair. This may partly account for her antagonism towards Marianne and her need to be wanted by Gregory.
The ending leads towards a crescendo of violence and madness but seems to stop abruptly at the end, leaving things unfinished and dissatisfying. From a psychological point of view, perhaps there is no cure, no happy ending and maybe this is what the writer is trying to convey. From a reader’s point of view, it just appears unfinished and this is a shame, as it is a stunning and disturbing tale on a par with Gone Girl and Final Girls. I am afraid I am not a psychologist and can not account for its clinical accuracy. All I can say is from a literary point of view, it is very modernist, which relies on leaving an impression.
Charlotte is married to Gregory and appears to have had a breakdown following a failed suicide attempt. Like many people with OCD, she is obsessed with germs and she washes her hands several times, almost ritually. Everywhere she goes she wears gloves, even keeping bacterial wipes to clean her gloves when she touches something. This is one of the characters’ idiosyncrasies and is a way of distinguishing her from the other characters. Equally disturbing is the self-harm. She not only cuts herself as a measurement of her pregnancy but when she gets a cut on her hand, she continually opens the wound to make it bleed. Bleeding for her appears to be a release of tension.
At the beginning of the novel she is still working as a high-end estate agent, but it is obvious Gregory feels this is unnecessary and probably diminishing to his status. She suspects he is having an affair with their maid Ishiko and this reinforces her paranoia and unstable state of mind.
First-person narratives are naturally intimate as you experience events through the thoughts and actions of the main character. This approach causes restrictions and bias when looking at other characters. Even with this in mind, I am not a fan of Gregory Astor. The name itself suggests monied privilege and a man used to getting what he wants. Ishiko’s warning about the frog in a well seems quite perceptive. Someone shielded and cut off from the outside world does not see the bigger picture. I feel Charlotte’s desperate need to be loved by Gregory blinds her from seeing who he really is and there is the sinister suggestion that he is part of the problem, not the solution.
The Astor’s neighbour Graham, has a mistress, Marianne, who lives with him during the week and leaves when his wife Mary returns home at the weekend. Charlotte becomes obsessed with Marianne, as a mistress she needs to be punished. She makes friends with her and through this, we see Marianne’s drinking problems and depression, which make her verbose and indiscreet in contrast with Ishiko.
Later in the novel, we learn about Charlotte’s childhood and her father’s death, there is even a suggestion that he was having an affair. This may partly account for her antagonism towards Marianne and her need to be wanted by Gregory.
The ending leads towards a crescendo of violence and madness but seems to stop abruptly at the end, leaving things unfinished and dissatisfying. From a psychological point of view, perhaps there is no cure, no happy ending and maybe this is what the writer is trying to convey. From a reader’s point of view, it just appears unfinished and this is a shame, as it is a stunning and disturbing tale on a par with Gone Girl and Final Girls. I am afraid I am not a psychologist and can not account for its clinical accuracy. All I can say is from a literary point of view, it is very modernist, which relies on leaving an impression.
December 11, 2021
Buckle in for this one kiddos (but it's definitely not for the kiddos). Poor Charlotte is pregnant in a marriage where her husband is having an affair. But is it all what it seems?? Absolutely not miss ma'am, or mister sir, or your majesty. Whatever you prefer I guess. Anyway, it's a book that takes you for a wild ride with hella twists and turns. It keeps you gripped till the last page and then you're asking for more. But I'm glad there's not a second book because the second book always sucks. Why is that? I mean, it's not always the case but you get me. Anyway, enjoy the book! It hits different if you like having whiplash from the twists!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 30, 2021
Mind numbing
It took me forever to get through this book. I'm a book a day kind of girl.
This book had so much repeating and mind numbing words that I wanted to stop.
Her confusion became my confusion and I wanted to see if I ever became in confused by the end.
I guessed what most of the truth was at the beginning of the book and it took til the last chapter to find out I was right.
It took me forever to get through this book. I'm a book a day kind of girl.
This book had so much repeating and mind numbing words that I wanted to stop.
Her confusion became my confusion and I wanted to see if I ever became in confused by the end.
I guessed what most of the truth was at the beginning of the book and it took til the last chapter to find out I was right.
July 19, 2019
I liked this book, even though it confused me a bit. So the main character had mental issues, right? And her issues were exacerbated by her husband, who also was a mental case. Right? I think? Maybe because of some personal stuff I'm dealing with I just didn't tune into the story as much as I should have/needed to?
April 24, 2024
I rarely stop in the middle of a book and put it down forever. However, I am doing that today. It was very choppy and I just didn't connect with any characters. Not worth spending the time to finish when there are so many other books on my list to enjoy.
February 6, 2019
Good book
You people should just read this book yourselves and write your own review on this novel yourself and I really enjoyed reading this book very much so. Shelley MA
You people should just read this book yourselves and write your own review on this novel yourself and I really enjoyed reading this book very much so. Shelley MA
February 12, 2019
read 50% not much happening, too many books too little time
June 25, 2019
Wow so glad I wasted hours and 400 pages only to really have no wrap up, nothing explained and how the heck half the stuff happened in this book and where the future lays. Do not read!
August 28, 2020
I don't know
I don't know how to feel about this book, I get what the author was trying to do with the writing style...but not what I expected
I don't know how to feel about this book, I get what the author was trying to do with the writing style...but not what I expected
November 27, 2014
As a writer myself, I know the sacrifices authors make to bring their work to others. There are the untold thousands of hours creating, planning, and perfecting their stories. There are the many hours and dollars spent to format, cover, and promote. Without listing all the expenses, there also are, of course, the lost potential revenues that might otherwise have helped the author recoup some of his expenses. These come when the author gives away copies, with the hope that readers will enjoy and will leave meaningful and thoughtful reviews that will encourage others to purchase copies. And so it is with these things in mind, that I leave this review in exchange for the free downloaded copy I received of Michelle Muckley's Phychophilia. Let me begin by saying that if you did not manage to get a free copy yourself, you might consider downloading one at whatever cost--today--because this one is absolutely worth it, particularly if you appreciate, as do I, a colorful "voice" to what you read.
Charlotte Astor is suffering. Depressed, and with an attempted suicide behind her, she tries to find peace in her troubled relationship with her husband, Gregory, who shows far too much interest in the Astor's housemaid, Ishiko. Then there is her doctor she must deal with, her pretentious neighbors, her former coworkers (whom she left behind at Gregory's urging), and Charlotte is lonely even when in the company of others.
My attraction to Psychophilia wasn't the story so much (though it is not lacking). It was due to Muckley's voice and her ability to so completely and believably "get into" Charlotte's troubled mind. I found myself highlighting line after line, just so I could find a passage later and thereby revisit a clever turn of phrase. Just a couple short and ready examples (of what must be hundreds) include:
Consider this one:
Or this one:
This one made me want to laugh and cry at the same time:
Finally, I note the insightfulness here:
There is an rough, yet elegant quality to Muckley's voice, a veracity to Charlotte's thoughts that give the story an almost "autobiographical" feel, and an honesty about life, relationships and feelings that is raw and real. A work absolutely and positively deserving of five stars . . . (so you might go get your copy now . . .)
Charlotte Astor is suffering. Depressed, and with an attempted suicide behind her, she tries to find peace in her troubled relationship with her husband, Gregory, who shows far too much interest in the Astor's housemaid, Ishiko. Then there is her doctor she must deal with, her pretentious neighbors, her former coworkers (whom she left behind at Gregory's urging), and Charlotte is lonely even when in the company of others.
My attraction to Psychophilia wasn't the story so much (though it is not lacking). It was due to Muckley's voice and her ability to so completely and believably "get into" Charlotte's troubled mind. I found myself highlighting line after line, just so I could find a passage later and thereby revisit a clever turn of phrase. Just a couple short and ready examples (of what must be hundreds) include:
If we were a house, Gregory and me would never have made it past the planning stage.
Occasionally I have felt the vomit rise in my throat but if I swallow down fast enough I can return it to a peaceful slumber, like a trained dragon, full of hot breath but no fire.
It’s much harder to judge a crazy person when they know you too have been touched by the same affliction.
Consider this one:
Cigarettes are not for show. They are to be hidden away, like he wishes he could do to me, but instead is forced to do to Ishiko.
Or this one:
Dana’s compliments make you feel good, even if they are not always believable. Jemima’s always remind you of your flaws. To her I can’t look just nice. I have to look well, so that I remember at one point I didn’t. I don’t like her at all. She thinks of me as common, and I think of her as a bitch.
This one made me want to laugh and cry at the same time:
I look like a moving version of a [f . . . d] up Picasso, my features out of line and two dimensional.
Finally, I note the insightfulness here:
But by wanting out, trying to die, it was too much for him. It meant he was a failure. If I wanted to die, it meant he couldn’t be my everything. There was a better, more attractive alternative in death, than him. He can’t get past that idea, so he has found his own alternative. He didn’t even have to leave his home. But perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on him. Coming second place to the finality of death? Perhaps there isn’t a man in the world that could understand or accept that.
There is an rough, yet elegant quality to Muckley's voice, a veracity to Charlotte's thoughts that give the story an almost "autobiographical" feel, and an honesty about life, relationships and feelings that is raw and real. A work absolutely and positively deserving of five stars . . . (so you might go get your copy now . . .)
January 6, 2015
*SPOILER ALERT*
By me giving this book 2 starts it could be a stretch. The first 80% was a running life of a crazy person. Apparently Charolette tried to kill herself and since the recovery her memories have been filled in by her husband and what other people tell her. The story is kinda boring. In the first 80% she befriends the mistress next door and her goal was to kill her but make it look like she killed herself when she realized that the man she's been dreaming about becoming hers and thus the lady of the house is just using her. This is also for Char's husband to see too so he can see what happens to cheating spouses. She believes and sees him, her husband have sex with the the maid who is from Japan. Char used to sell houses and her boss seems very concerned about her. The maid is a mix of emotions even to me. The maid gives Char advise about being truthful and trying to get her to remember the past. Char acts crazy by not taking her medication, which she hides in a draw, she cuts herself (so she's a cutter), and acts like everyone might be treating her like she is made of glass. During this time I'm trying to see what is the plot of the story and I think in the end last 20% all is revealed but it's still confusing to me. The maid leaves but before she does she hands Char letters that she was supposed to get rid of so says the husband told her to. Apparently, the husband is getting reversal on the operation he had done. So I learn that the baby Char carries is probably her bosses who was found murdered recently and I wonder if the husband did do it since she was sort of getting back her memories. Also when she had a nervous breakdown the husband knew she was not taking her medication and that she wasn't crazy when she believed that her husband was having sex with maid. My thing is if the maid wants her to remember and was nice to her why sleep with her husband. Oh! and the mistress next door has been there for a year the wife has been dead for awhile. So Char was having delusions. So the story is confusing because it mostly told from her point of view and the truth comes out in the end but it not necessarily the truth as she knows it. I got the impression that there is going to be another book. I won't read. This one was free and I regret buying it. What made it okay is that last part did get my interest but still nothing was resolved since. In the past she might have been trying to get away from her husband instead of being jealous that he's been ignoring her and sleeping with the maid. I don't know what the truth might have been if she continued taking the medication.
By me giving this book 2 starts it could be a stretch. The first 80% was a running life of a crazy person. Apparently Charolette tried to kill herself and since the recovery her memories have been filled in by her husband and what other people tell her. The story is kinda boring. In the first 80% she befriends the mistress next door and her goal was to kill her but make it look like she killed herself when she realized that the man she's been dreaming about becoming hers and thus the lady of the house is just using her. This is also for Char's husband to see too so he can see what happens to cheating spouses. She believes and sees him, her husband have sex with the the maid who is from Japan. Char used to sell houses and her boss seems very concerned about her. The maid is a mix of emotions even to me. The maid gives Char advise about being truthful and trying to get her to remember the past. Char acts crazy by not taking her medication, which she hides in a draw, she cuts herself (so she's a cutter), and acts like everyone might be treating her like she is made of glass. During this time I'm trying to see what is the plot of the story and I think in the end last 20% all is revealed but it's still confusing to me. The maid leaves but before she does she hands Char letters that she was supposed to get rid of so says the husband told her to. Apparently, the husband is getting reversal on the operation he had done. So I learn that the baby Char carries is probably her bosses who was found murdered recently and I wonder if the husband did do it since she was sort of getting back her memories. Also when she had a nervous breakdown the husband knew she was not taking her medication and that she wasn't crazy when she believed that her husband was having sex with maid. My thing is if the maid wants her to remember and was nice to her why sleep with her husband. Oh! and the mistress next door has been there for a year the wife has been dead for awhile. So Char was having delusions. So the story is confusing because it mostly told from her point of view and the truth comes out in the end but it not necessarily the truth as she knows it. I got the impression that there is going to be another book. I won't read. This one was free and I regret buying it. What made it okay is that last part did get my interest but still nothing was resolved since. In the past she might have been trying to get away from her husband instead of being jealous that he's been ignoring her and sleeping with the maid. I don't know what the truth might have been if she continued taking the medication.
October 30, 2014
This was a quietly brooding sinister tale that unfolded slowly and precisely with measured actions that left me feeling quite disconcerted in parts. Charlotte was a brilliantly complex character that seemed so detached from her surroundings that it almost felt like there was a cloud hovering over me as I read it. She was living in such a bleak world that she drew me in too. I found myself thinking how unbearable it must be to live an empty life like that with no love, no affection, and a scarily efficient Japanese maid Ishiko that was slowly taking over and controlling her life. I had a pretty bleak opinion of her husband Gregory anyway but when I discovered the truly shocking twist as Charlotte regained crucial memories, I realised how truly abhorrent he really was. The twist with Marianne was so shocking to me that I wouldn’t ever dream of spoiling it for everyone else because my jaw dropped and it sent my mind reeling for hours as I tried to mentally retrace the plot of the book so far trying to work out where Michelle Muckley managed to include the red herrings I didn’t pick up on originally. I was so desperate to know the ending that I kept reading even though I was tired and when I found out the sad story surrounding Steven I nearly cried. The implications of Gregory’s actions stayed with me for about an hour as I got ready for bed just going over the plot in my head. I was pleased that the ending promised a very special brand of justice for one particular character although I was a bit concerned about where that leaves Charlotte’s future as a mum but it’s the kind of book that leaves me thinking and I love that. It’s a great quality in a book.
February 11, 2015
Back in July 2014, Michelle Muckley wrote a guest post on my blog on Being Adaptable as a writer, and I finally got the chance to read her book, Psychophilia. It is the story of Charlotte Astor, a 32-year-old real estate agent, who has just tried to commit suicide. Because she lost part of her memory, she doesn’t understand why her husband, Gregory, is so cold towards her, especially as she is pregnant. Soon, she realizes that he is having an affair with their beautiful housemaid, Ishiko. As she pieces her life back together, Charlotte discovers disturbing details from her past, but she is determined to have her husband back. By any means necessary…
Psychophilia was inspired by a scary episode that happened to Michelle Muckley when she ended up in the hospital for a week after having a strong reaction to prescribed medication. When she regained consciousness, she couldn’t remember the events of the previous week and couldn’t even talk. It was really hard for her and her husband. In the book, the author has an elaborate writing style and knows how to keep the suspense alive. In addition, she effectively draws the reader into Charlotte’s head. This unreliable, delusional and depressed narrator shares her thoughts and impulses without any censorship, and it can be deeply disturbing. In fact, I found the story to be dark and depressing, and the ambiguous ending unsettled me. However, there is no denying the author’s excellent writing skills, and Psychophilia will certainly appeal to horror aficionados.
Psychophilia was sent to me for free in exchange for an honest review.
To read the full review, please go to my blog (Cecile Sune - Book Obsessed).
Psychophilia was inspired by a scary episode that happened to Michelle Muckley when she ended up in the hospital for a week after having a strong reaction to prescribed medication. When she regained consciousness, she couldn’t remember the events of the previous week and couldn’t even talk. It was really hard for her and her husband. In the book, the author has an elaborate writing style and knows how to keep the suspense alive. In addition, she effectively draws the reader into Charlotte’s head. This unreliable, delusional and depressed narrator shares her thoughts and impulses without any censorship, and it can be deeply disturbing. In fact, I found the story to be dark and depressing, and the ambiguous ending unsettled me. However, there is no denying the author’s excellent writing skills, and Psychophilia will certainly appeal to horror aficionados.
Psychophilia was sent to me for free in exchange for an honest review.
To read the full review, please go to my blog (Cecile Sune - Book Obsessed).
May 10, 2014
Psychophilia by Michelle Muckley -I received this book from the author in a giveaway on Booklikes-
Charlotte has had an ‘accident’; the problem is that she doesn’t remember what happened, or how she ended up being dragged from a lake as she was drowning. She no longer remembers a lot of things about herself and her life. She only knows what she is told by her husband, Gregory.
Gregory is another problem. He used to love Charlotte, but something has changed and she is stuck with a distant man who looks at her with empty eyes. Maybe the pregnancy will make him love her again….
Charlotte is willing to go to almost any length to get back the life she once had. But is it a good idea to go back to the way things were, if she has no idea what type of life it was?
This book is like nothing I have read, and has a haunted quality that I really enjoyed. The author slowly feeds the reader details about Charlotte’s past. There were a few slow moments but it shows us what Charlotte is going through herself. I am happy to recommend, and will definitely read some of the author’s other works.
Charlotte has had an ‘accident’; the problem is that she doesn’t remember what happened, or how she ended up being dragged from a lake as she was drowning. She no longer remembers a lot of things about herself and her life. She only knows what she is told by her husband, Gregory.
Gregory is another problem. He used to love Charlotte, but something has changed and she is stuck with a distant man who looks at her with empty eyes. Maybe the pregnancy will make him love her again….
Charlotte is willing to go to almost any length to get back the life she once had. But is it a good idea to go back to the way things were, if she has no idea what type of life it was?
This book is like nothing I have read, and has a haunted quality that I really enjoyed. The author slowly feeds the reader details about Charlotte’s past. There were a few slow moments but it shows us what Charlotte is going through herself. I am happy to recommend, and will definitely read some of the author’s other works.
November 5, 2016
I have had to sit back for a couple of days after finishing this book and try to figure out what it was that I just read. I am beginning to think perhaps psychological thriller's are not for me as this is not my first of this type of book.
I can tell you the main character was quite complex, especially in her way of thinking and the way the character saw those around her. There was a lot of self diagnosis, self doubt, and questioning wanting to know why what she expected was not happening. I can say this made up for most of the book. The thriller aspect did not come about till almost the end of the book. And this is where I question myself as to perhaps I just do not get it.
I feel as if I might have missed the boat some where along the line with this story. I know I never really connected with the main character. And most of the time kept asking myself where the disturbing thriller part was going to show up and felt disappointed. Perhaps I was in the fog the book spoke of so much and at never cleared up for me. At any rate I would suggest perhaps getting the sample of the book before purchasing to see if perhaps you find yourself invited in and not outside looking in.
I can tell you the main character was quite complex, especially in her way of thinking and the way the character saw those around her. There was a lot of self diagnosis, self doubt, and questioning wanting to know why what she expected was not happening. I can say this made up for most of the book. The thriller aspect did not come about till almost the end of the book. And this is where I question myself as to perhaps I just do not get it.
I feel as if I might have missed the boat some where along the line with this story. I know I never really connected with the main character. And most of the time kept asking myself where the disturbing thriller part was going to show up and felt disappointed. Perhaps I was in the fog the book spoke of so much and at never cleared up for me. At any rate I would suggest perhaps getting the sample of the book before purchasing to see if perhaps you find yourself invited in and not outside looking in.
May 14, 2015
I read this book last year but neglected to write a review. I'm sorry about that because I absolutely loved this book. I bought it because it promised a dark tale and it delivered. The novel was dark, disturbing and suspenseful. The characters were well-developed with depth and personality. Charlotte was an enigma throughout the whole book. I wasn't quite sure what was true and what was in her mind throughout the whole book. Psychophilia is very psychologically-minded with complex characters and a suspenseful mystery that will grab you until the last page. I loved the book so much I'm now reading Ms. Muckley's "The Dawn" series even though I don't usually read dystopian books. I like her writing that much. Highly recommended for anyone who loves dark and disturbing psychological thrillers.
August 28, 2014
Bleak. Just . . . unrelentingly bleak. "Psychological thriller" is not a very apt description of the genre of this book. Mental illness can be scary, yes, but thrilling for the reader? Not this reader. It was sad. I'm giving it three stars because it was fairly well-written, obviously well-researched, and it did keep my interest to the end, although the first half of the book was really slow going. Many people have commented that the ending was unsatisfying or "off" somehow, but I disagree. I thought the ending was sadly predictable.
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