Tropes: failed one night stand, professor/student, age gap, forbidden/secret relationship
Feels: 2/5
Steam*: 2.5/5
Kinks: some toys, mild daddy kink, glory hole
Angst: medium
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: religious trauma, internalized homophobia, homophobic parents, drug addiction and recovery
3.5 stars. I probably should have rounded down to three, because the relationship between Cam and Grady is a really key thing and it just wasn't the star of this book. But I just have a lot of fondness for the other characters and for this series, so I'm going to round up.
Cam is 23. In his second year of college, he went wild to deal with his religious guilt at being gay, to deal with the feelings of guilt and disappointment. Got addicted to drugs. He overdosed and almost died. His parents sent him off to rehab and away from college and it did help him get clean. He's been clean for 2 years and he's back at college now. But his parents are not accepting of his sexuality. I keep trying to force him to be involved with their Church and to do drug addiction therapy programs that are religious based, and they aren't supportive of him and want him to change. It's a toxic relationship but he still has hope that they will come around. He's been cut off and he's working very very hard to pay all of his college bills.
Grady is 36. He's bi. He was married to a woman for 9 years but they're divorced now. He's a professor at Cam's college. He's regularly run into Cam at the diner that he works at as a customer. And this semester Cam is taking class with him. Grady is busy climbing the professional ladder. He's writing books and he's got an upcoming publicity tour for when he finishes the book he's working on right now. He needs to keep his nose clean so that scandal doesn't Rock his career.
At a bar, they meet at a glory hole and have an anonymous hookup. Then they come back the next week hoping to find the other again, and they have another anonymous hookup and exchange numbers to arrange repeats. They still haven't seen each other's faces at this point. Eventually, the penny drops about who their hook up is. They are conflicted about whether they should stop or keep going. And after some hesitation, they decide to keep hooking up. But keep it secret and casual. But then they start spending more and more time together and have a good connection and they want to keep it going, but guilt of secrets are what drove Cam to drugs before. For his own mental health it's not good for him to keep secrets. And Grady really can't afford the scandal right now. So they are dealing with some conflict.
This was a medium angst enjoyable story. I really loved the other couples in this series, and I loved the appearances that they made in this book. They're a great supportive friend group and there were lots of little moments of humor that came out of their interactions. The friend group is probably my favorite thing about this book. Which is not the greatest of signs. Another enjoyable thing about this book was that there were some like deep conversations that Cam and Grady had, there were some meaningful thought and idea sharing moments. There was some poignant and relatable insecurities and vulnerabilities that were discussed.
Cam and Grady were enjoyable enough but they didn't really stand out as an epic couple to me. I think their relationship was just lacking a few of the key things that I really appreciate in a romance, so in part it was a me thing. But also I think the author could have made some better choices. The first 60% of the book was very physical only. There was no mention of romance, no thought in their mind of romance. In the next 20% there's a friendship that's kind of added on to the sexual component. But even all the way up until like 85%, I was still not feeling the romance/love between the two of them. They said it themselves at one point at 68% mark, that they were just thinking with their dicks.
They aren't very sentimental about each other until the very end. They're very physical but at the same time it's not a very sensual read. There's a lot of sex on page but it doesn't come off very sensual, it comes off a bit more clinical and physical. There's also a lot of skipping over and just kind of summarizing the passage of time and the passage of their hookups, so there's kind of a distance. Also, I am an absolute sucker for non-sexual touch and couples just being drawn to touch each other platonically, to find comfort in each other, to sleep together and snuggle. And it was a bit of a kick in the face that we never actually saw any of that between Cam and Grady, instead Cam was getting those non-sexual touch and comfort needs met through his friends.
I did respect that they talked a lot. They got to know each other. They had some meaningful conversations and they were mature about the decisions that they made when it came to whether they would reveal their relationship while he was still a student. But even while I was respecting that, I was thinking that it was a little unfortunate that was just one more thing that made their relationship seem a bit too clinical and convenient, and not sentimental enough.
Some notable moments:
"I’m not a superhero or anything, but when I’m around my folks, I always feel like they liked me in disguise better, like if I could keep wearing that costume, everything would be better."
"“Dinner’s ready. Ohhh, a cuddle party? Can I join?” “You’re too big,” Mark protested. It was a futile effort. Sam threw himself across our legs. Jesse wasn’t far behind, nosy as ever. “What’s going on in here?” “Mark and Cam and I are cuddling.” “Bunch of sluts,” he said and then flopped down in front of me. “Is someone sad? Having drama? Why are we cuddling?”"
Ha to the running joke that Cam's mystery man might be Ansel's father. ““Better not be my dad. He’s supposed to be on vacation right now.” Ansel frowned. “It’s not your dad, Ansel.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.