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Callahan's #8
Callahan's Key
Nobody blends good science with bad puns as brilliantly as Spider Robinson, as his legion of devoted fans will attest. Now he's back with the latest chapter of the Callahan saga -- an improbable tale of impending doom, a road trip, space, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
The universe is in desperate peril. Due to a cluster of freakish phenomena, the United States' own defense system has become a perfect doomsday machine, threatening the entire universe. And only one man can save everything-as-we-know-it from annihilation.
Unfortunately, he's not available.
So the job falls instead to bar owner Jake Stonebender, his wife, Zoey, and superintelligent toddler, Erin.
Not to mention two dozen busloads of ex-hippies and freaks, Robert Heinlein's wandering cat, a whorehouse parrot, and misunderstood genius-inventor Nikola Tesla, who is in fact alive and well....
The universe is in desperate peril. Due to a cluster of freakish phenomena, the United States' own defense system has become a perfect doomsday machine, threatening the entire universe. And only one man can save everything-as-we-know-it from annihilation.
Unfortunately, he's not available.
So the job falls instead to bar owner Jake Stonebender, his wife, Zoey, and superintelligent toddler, Erin.
Not to mention two dozen busloads of ex-hippies and freaks, Robert Heinlein's wandering cat, a whorehouse parrot, and misunderstood genius-inventor Nikola Tesla, who is in fact alive and well....
335 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2000
21 people are currently reading
627 people want to read
About the author
Spider Robinson
197 books674 followersSpider Robinson is an American-born Canadian Hugo and Nebula award winning science fiction author. He was born in the USA, but chose to live in Canada, and gained citizenship in his adopted country in 2002.
Robinson's writing career began in 1972 with a sale to Analog Science Fiction magazine of a story entitled, The Guy With The Eyes. His writing proved popular, and his first novel saw print in 1976, Telempath. Since then he has averaged a novel (or collection) a year. His most well known stories are the Callahan saloon series.
Robinson's writing career began in 1972 with a sale to Analog Science Fiction magazine of a story entitled, The Guy With The Eyes. His writing proved popular, and his first novel saw print in 1976, Telempath. Since then he has averaged a novel (or collection) a year. His most well known stories are the Callahan saloon series.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
November 18, 2021
This is a tribute novel to Robert A. Heinlein (and to some extent other authors of his vintage). If you don't know his work or that of Theodore Sturgeon, you'll miss some of the point of this book. As Jake Stonebender, his family, and his clan of weirdos migrate to Key West, Fla., from Long Island, NY, they make a stop close to where Heinlein's widow lives and they consider (and reject) the idea of visiting her. Instead, they acquire a new misfit to add to their number: Robert Heinlein's cat, Pixel, the cat who can walk through windshields (get it?). There are lots of obvious and subtle references to RAH fiction. (Including a sign that Zoey puts up by the door of their new home: “Did you remember to dress?”)
I really enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter—nuggets from the many silly things said by George W, Bush's vice-president, Dan Quayle. That there are 20 of them is amazing and sad somehow. I bet many people barely remember the poor guy or how much the press loved his flubs. Public speaking just wasn't his jam, plus he seems to have had a pretty loose grip on facts.
The absolute best part of the book is the description of the space shuttle launch that the clan attends during their drive south. Did Robinson attend one? Because it reads like he did. The excitement and awe seem completely authentic and it has the feeling of an eyewitness account.
For some reason that I cannot put my finger on exactly, I find Robinson's authorial voice in this series highly annoying, so I am glad that I am almost finished with the Callahan books. Only one left, next year. My library has weeded them, but I bought them second hand (before I realized how irritated they made me). I'm stubborn enough that I intend to read them before I recycle them back to the second hand bookstore.
Book Number 428 of my Science Fiction & Fantasy Reading Project.
I really enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter—nuggets from the many silly things said by George W, Bush's vice-president, Dan Quayle. That there are 20 of them is amazing and sad somehow. I bet many people barely remember the poor guy or how much the press loved his flubs. Public speaking just wasn't his jam, plus he seems to have had a pretty loose grip on facts.
The absolute best part of the book is the description of the space shuttle launch that the clan attends during their drive south. Did Robinson attend one? Because it reads like he did. The excitement and awe seem completely authentic and it has the feeling of an eyewitness account.
For some reason that I cannot put my finger on exactly, I find Robinson's authorial voice in this series highly annoying, so I am glad that I am almost finished with the Callahan books. Only one left, next year. My library has weeded them, but I bought them second hand (before I realized how irritated they made me). I'm stubborn enough that I intend to read them before I recycle them back to the second hand bookstore.
Book Number 428 of my Science Fiction & Fantasy Reading Project.
January 2, 2019
Even wanted to watch an author masturbate? Here's your chance. Our hero Mary Sue, I mean Spider, I mean 'Jake' has a wonderful wife, a precocious daughter, is universally loved by everyone he meets, takes all his friends along on a road trip where he runs across places or steals characters lionized by better authors, name drops better musicians and writers than himself to borrow their glory, smugly opens every chapter with political quotes for no known reason (other than as a form of primitive virtue signaling) and then trumps this by actually writing that some strangers came into his bar but he can still confidently state (even though they were strangers) that the presence of minorities drove them away because the strangers were assholes, it never crossing his mind that it might be the doped out owner and his crew that were unlikable.
One more book in the series and at this point it's only morbid curiosity that keeps me reading. Don't fall into that trap if you can avoid it.
One more book in the series and at this point it's only morbid curiosity that keeps me reading. Don't fall into that trap if you can avoid it.
September 6, 2012
I loved this series. Really did. "Callahan's Chronicles" was easily one of the best reads I'd had in years. Lady Sally's place that followed was...different. A downgrade, but good fun.
But the last few books in the series have gotten too "big". Callahan's works best when it's a collection of drunk oddballs helping out more drunk oddballs with their drunk oddball problems, not saving the country/world/universe from annihilation, eg. nuclear terrorist pacifists in Lady Slings the Booze, saving the world in Callahan's Legacy and here, the Universe.
The first half of Key is sneakily done. A fine return to form as, for reasons that really aren't that important, Callahan's company embark on a road trip from dreary New York to sunny Key West (which sounds like a pretty rad place, to be honest). On the way, they piss off cops, see a rocket launch, and steal Robert Heinlein cat. It's...better than I make it sound.
Then they arrive in Key West, and gosh it's lovely. Perfect. Everyone's cheery, real estate agents are no longer fire-breathing demon spawn, the cops wear shorts and ride bicycles and it probably rains pot. Which is good news, considering they then have to band together to find some way to save the Universe (dun dun dun).
Thankfully though they're all able to figure out the cause, circumstance and solution to this omnicidal disaster through...well, some sort of moon logic, far as I can tell. With absolutely no specific idea how, when or where the cosmos is going to end, they manage to utilise 1960s Adam West-ian Bat Deduction to figure out it's all thanks to a satellite called "the Deathstar", a honking big hurricane and a sort of magical cosmic ray that apparently exists now.
High stakes, right? Expecting a nail biting, edge-of-your-seat space-heist, then? HA! No. Erin, Jake's 14 month old super-baby, can teleport, so she shimmies herself into a rocket to type out some magical computer code that sorts the whole problem out (minor subsequent hiccup notwithstanding).
This is the problem with the key (hurr hurr) focal point and newly introduced heroine of this novel, Jake's super-spawn - she is boring. She's a superpowered, super-intelligent (it involved a computer AI and a three-breasted space-lizard. Long story) magical plot solving machine and occasional author mouthpiece. She's not even a character, she's a tool.
The problem is such: when you combine supreme intellect with good ol' "from the mouths of babes", what you're giving yourself is a character that screams "THIS PERSON IS ALWAYS RIGHT. NO DISAGREEMENT WITH THEIR KNOWLEDGE OR QUAINT, INNOCENT WISDOM WILL BE ALLOWED. SERIOUSLY, JUST STOP IT. DON'T EVEN TRY." Meaning she pingpongs from being insipid to downright creepy. To whit:
I...umm...riiiiiight...
But let's not be too critical. Let's look at some touching father-daughter bonding time, about when Erin was still in her mother's womb?
...Ok, seriously, what the actual flippity fudge? Is that stuff meant to be cute?
Finally, there's Robinson's tone. He's a child of the 60s, no doubt, and book by book, he seems to have gotten less and less concerned with keeping a lid on it. It can basically be summed up as: "Woah, man. Everyone's such a square, man. Stop being so uptight, dude. Smoke joints and free love! Rock on!" (slight exaggeration added for comedic value).
Which makes his utter intolerance of anyone other than pot smoking, beer swilling hippies (or someone who has nothing but love and respect for pot smoking, beer swilling hippies) more than a little jarring (read: the NASA security guard, his next-door neighbour, pretty much every single public servant or cop in the book). And I like hippies. But preaching tolerance tends to not work that well when you have no time for anyone that isn't in your group of ridiculously free-spirited, telepathic friends who, conveniently, happen to agree with 99% of what you say.
Buuuuuuuuuuuut...despite my lengthy whining, I still didn't hate it. The goal/intent is still positive (ie. love and friendship wins out over guns and violence) and the puns are still awful. I just...really wish Spider hadn't let his own worldview run away from him like he has. Still, only one more left in the series, so why not?
tl;dr - Read "The Callahan Chronicles", then stop.
But the last few books in the series have gotten too "big". Callahan's works best when it's a collection of drunk oddballs helping out more drunk oddballs with their drunk oddball problems, not saving the country/world/universe from annihilation, eg. nuclear terrorist pacifists in Lady Slings the Booze, saving the world in Callahan's Legacy and here, the Universe.
The first half of Key is sneakily done. A fine return to form as, for reasons that really aren't that important, Callahan's company embark on a road trip from dreary New York to sunny Key West (which sounds like a pretty rad place, to be honest). On the way, they piss off cops, see a rocket launch, and steal Robert Heinlein cat. It's...better than I make it sound.
Then they arrive in Key West, and gosh it's lovely. Perfect. Everyone's cheery, real estate agents are no longer fire-breathing demon spawn, the cops wear shorts and ride bicycles and it probably rains pot. Which is good news, considering they then have to band together to find some way to save the Universe (dun dun dun).
Thankfully though they're all able to figure out the cause, circumstance and solution to this omnicidal disaster through...well, some sort of moon logic, far as I can tell. With absolutely no specific idea how, when or where the cosmos is going to end, they manage to utilise 1960s Adam West-ian Bat Deduction to figure out it's all thanks to a satellite called "the Deathstar", a honking big hurricane and a sort of magical cosmic ray that apparently exists now.
High stakes, right? Expecting a nail biting, edge-of-your-seat space-heist, then? HA! No. Erin, Jake's 14 month old super-baby, can teleport, so she shimmies herself into a rocket to type out some magical computer code that sorts the whole problem out (minor subsequent hiccup notwithstanding).
This is the problem with the key (hurr hurr) focal point and newly introduced heroine of this novel, Jake's super-spawn - she is boring. She's a superpowered, super-intelligent (it involved a computer AI and a three-breasted space-lizard. Long story) magical plot solving machine and occasional author mouthpiece. She's not even a character, she's a tool.
The problem is such: when you combine supreme intellect with good ol' "from the mouths of babes", what you're giving yourself is a character that screams "THIS PERSON IS ALWAYS RIGHT. NO DISAGREEMENT WITH THEIR KNOWLEDGE OR QUAINT, INNOCENT WISDOM WILL BE ALLOWED. SERIOUSLY, JUST STOP IT. DON'T EVEN TRY." Meaning she pingpongs from being insipid to downright creepy. To whit:
"I'm going to start fucking when I'm sixteen, would you like to take a number? I can work you into the single digits if you hurry,"The 14 month old child said (to Nikola Tesla. Long story. Again).
I...umm...riiiiiight...
But let's not be too critical. Let's look at some touching father-daughter bonding time, about when Erin was still in her mother's womb?
"Probably the first things that ever tickled you were some of my sperm."
...Ok, seriously, what the actual flippity fudge? Is that stuff meant to be cute?
Finally, there's Robinson's tone. He's a child of the 60s, no doubt, and book by book, he seems to have gotten less and less concerned with keeping a lid on it. It can basically be summed up as: "Woah, man. Everyone's such a square, man. Stop being so uptight, dude. Smoke joints and free love! Rock on!" (slight exaggeration added for comedic value).
Which makes his utter intolerance of anyone other than pot smoking, beer swilling hippies (or someone who has nothing but love and respect for pot smoking, beer swilling hippies) more than a little jarring (read: the NASA security guard, his next-door neighbour, pretty much every single public servant or cop in the book). And I like hippies. But preaching tolerance tends to not work that well when you have no time for anyone that isn't in your group of ridiculously free-spirited, telepathic friends who, conveniently, happen to agree with 99% of what you say.
Buuuuuuuuuuuut...despite my lengthy whining, I still didn't hate it. The goal/intent is still positive (ie. love and friendship wins out over guns and violence) and the puns are still awful. I just...really wish Spider hadn't let his own worldview run away from him like he has. Still, only one more left in the series, so why not?
tl;dr - Read "The Callahan Chronicles", then stop.
November 1, 2017
A couple of weeks ago I felt an inexplicable urge to re-read Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" novel. Not an unheard of urge on my part, as I occasionally enjoy taking a stroll down memory lane re-reading books that I read many, many years ago. I find myself most of the way through Callahan's Key, and it has struck me that - apparently - I had missed this one my first time around. I remembered quite well (well, in general terms) the original stories set in Mike's place, the side trip stories at Lady Sally's, the stories from Mary's Place, and - more recently - reading about the gang in Key West. What I have no memory of at all though is how is gang of misfits found themselves in the Keys.
So, what's better then revisiting an old literary friend? Finding something completely new while doing so - and a fine road trip story it is too. I cannot say for certain how I missed this book - and Travis McGee is no longer with us to figure it for me - but it has turned into a great and entertaining read,
So, what's better then revisiting an old literary friend? Finding something completely new while doing so - and a fine road trip story it is too. I cannot say for certain how I missed this book - and Travis McGee is no longer with us to figure it for me - but it has turned into a great and entertaining read,
July 28, 2015
As usual, Mr. Robinson offers us a highly enjoyable, fast-paced adventure story that is really, after all, just about reminding us how cool humanity can actually be when it bothers to get its collective head out of its collective rear. Clever absurdities and bad puns abound, and life is good.
July 27, 2012
Another wonderful book in a beautiful series. Jake gets a visit from Tesla who tells him that once again the end of the world is nigh and it is up to Jake and his motley band of bar flies to save it. Jake decides that it is time to reopen the bar, but not in Long Island. Jake, Zoey, and super intelligent baby Erin move to the Florida Keys, and take the rest of the Callahan crew with them. Parts of the book were a little bittersweet for me, reading about the drive through Florida, especially when they stopped at the Kennedy Space Center to watch a shuttle launch. Reading the wonder and magesty of a shuttle launch through the eyes of someone with child-like wonder and appreciation reminded me how much I miss living there some days. A brief summery is that mankind has managed to create a situation the ends the universe and everything in it and the Callahan crew must figure out what it is and how to stop it. And of course they do. For me, the best part isn't the problem and solution, but how it is solved. The way they work together, the way everyone cares about and for one another. If every one read these books and treated other humans the way Spider's characters act the world would be a very different place. One that would not require so much saving.
February 5, 2013
This is one of my favourite books in the series and yet it makes me incredibly sad every time that I read it. The underlying messages of acceptance, tolerance and wonder seem to fall on deaf ears in our era. If more people read these books and lived by some of their credos... The world would be a much better place. Thanks for trying to spread such a great message, Spider!
March 23, 2016
The best of the best!
My favorite Callahan book! Such a joyride! If you enjoy Spider and enjoy the Callahan books, this is a must read. Finally available in eBook form!
My favorite Callahan book! Such a joyride! If you enjoy Spider and enjoy the Callahan books, this is a must read. Finally available in eBook form!
March 11, 2022
Continuing (after a pause) from the last story, this one is essentially a road trip followed by the usual silliness. Again, these are NOT the place to try out the Callahan series! If you’re already a fan, you might like this. Personally, I am starting to get a little bit tired of personal opinions couched as novel themes that reveal a greater purpose. You can have your likes and dislikes, and you shouldn’t get hassled over them. But don’t expect people to line up to pay for your ramblings without further entertainment value. The quotes of Vice President Daniel Quale at the start of each chapter are irrelevant, uninteresting, and infantile. Other than “closing out the set”, my interest in contributing to these efforts has reached an end.
April 10, 2025
It’s been several years since I read one of Spider’s books. I recalled, as I read, the fact that everyone spends a lot of time stoned. I certainly remembered the entire pun fixation.
This novel tends to be a lot of collecting the gang and getting them from Staten Island to Key West. Naturally, there is some event that will destroy the universe unless Jake and company do something. Toss in Tesla;supergenius daughter, Erin; Heinlein’s cat, Pixel; and a parrot noted for obscene language. I do wish Mike, the highway patrol officer, showed up a bit more; he was an intriguing character.
One should definitely read other Callahan’s books before jumping into this.
This novel tends to be a lot of collecting the gang and getting them from Staten Island to Key West. Naturally, there is some event that will destroy the universe unless Jake and company do something. Toss in Tesla;supergenius daughter, Erin; Heinlein’s cat, Pixel; and a parrot noted for obscene language. I do wish Mike, the highway patrol officer, showed up a bit more; he was an intriguing character.
One should definitely read other Callahan’s books before jumping into this.
November 1, 2020
typically entertaining & uplifting
Spider always spins a good yarn & this is no exception. all the usual suspects, a few new characters, a wild tale, lots of Irish coffee. everything needed for a Callahan book. enjoy.
Spider always spins a good yarn & this is no exception. all the usual suspects, a few new characters, a wild tale, lots of Irish coffee. everything needed for a Callahan book. enjoy.
February 18, 2021
I can see a love / unlike relationship with Spider Robinson. This was not my kind of SciFi. Cute, witty, verbose, annoying and long. Puns aside, not enough here to make me want to read more.
BTW: I didn't read it, I listened via an audiobook.
BTW: I didn't read it, I listened via an audiobook.
February 6, 2023
The gang decide to escape Suffolk County, Ny and go to Key West, FL. Jake starts up the Place. Its a great road trip which includes a stop at Kennedy Space Center to watch a launch. The gang also joined by Pixel Heinlein's last cat. Fun is had by all. Makes me want to forgive the punning.
July 31, 2017
More good times at the craziest bar in all the galaxy.
November 5, 2017
If you're already a fan of the Callahan Crew, you will like this. If you have not met them yet, start with an earlier book.
May 5, 2019
Still enjoying this series.
October 14, 2019
Took a while to get going, but ended up a good Callahan book
November 16, 2019
I just love Jake Stonebender, Zoey and Erin, the characters in the Callahan's bar. This is another in the very good series.
May 6, 2022
All the Callahans
All have been great reads & cause massive internet Searches. And that was worth all the Trouble. Read the series. You're welcome.
All have been great reads & cause massive internet Searches. And that was worth all the Trouble. Read the series. You're welcome.
September 2, 2022
Cozy sciffy. Not my cup of tea.
August 16, 2024
Another fine Callahan's yarn.
June 17, 2017
A serious favorite, flaws and all.
February 23, 2014
This book is a little bit of a train wreck. It is novel-length with a single story, unlike Spider Robinson's superior connected-vignette-novel or short story collections. Unfortunately the story itself is pretty weak. The opening allows for lots of strangely used resources—characters with “extra powers” not really using them, and characters known for being truly good people engaging in blackmail, extortion, and truly antisocial behavior. The middle of the book is a meaningless long car trip with plot-irrelevant side trips so that Spider can write about random things he likes. The latter half of the book involves an elegant and interesting (if overpowered deus-ex-machina) solution to the main plot problem, which breaks down and requires a rote repeat of the get-drunk-save-the-world that's occurred in several previous Callahan stories.
No treatment whatsoever is given to how any of these people can afford to live the way they do, and it seriously impedes suspension of disbelief. When they lived where they lived and got together at a bar – sure, they had jobs. When they move, en masse, to Key West – how can they possibly afford housing and find places to work?
No treatment whatsoever is given to how any of these people can afford to live the way they do, and it seriously impedes suspension of disbelief. When they lived where they lived and got together at a bar – sure, they had jobs. When they move, en masse, to Key West – how can they possibly afford housing and find places to work?
March 21, 2014
Heir to Heinlein - And I mean that review title for both good and ill. Like Heinlein's last few works (everything starting with Number of the Beast), the Callahan series has (d)evolved into tales of Extraordinarily Talented and Witty People, (over)laden with cultural in-jokes, references to earlier tales, and a twee jolliness that makes for light, breezy reading when it's not just irritating.
Robinson has seemingly fallen into the "How do I trump what I did last time?" trap, and while it's nice to see the old gang again, hear the awful puns, and sit back for the ride, I look back on the much warmer, more *human* early Callahan tales (and even tales of Lady Sally's House) and miss them.
I don't regret having bought the book, even at today's exorbitant paperback prices. I just wish I'd enjoyed it as much as his earlier ones.
Robinson has seemingly fallen into the "How do I trump what I did last time?" trap, and while it's nice to see the old gang again, hear the awful puns, and sit back for the ride, I look back on the much warmer, more *human* early Callahan tales (and even tales of Lady Sally's House) and miss them.
I don't regret having bought the book, even at today's exorbitant paperback prices. I just wish I'd enjoyed it as much as his earlier ones.
September 2, 2009
Fun read as the Callahan's crew encounter circumstances that lead them to packing up and moving from Long Island to Key West.
Uneven, as Spider has trouble when the Callanhan crew has to leave the bar and interact with the 'real world'. It's an awkward fit.
Otherwise, Key West comes across as paradise, the dialogue and humor are still brilliant and funny and the crisis is interesting and suspenseful.
There are no bad Callahan books. Just good ones and brilliant ones. This is one of the merely good ones.
Uneven, as Spider has trouble when the Callanhan crew has to leave the bar and interact with the 'real world'. It's an awkward fit.
Otherwise, Key West comes across as paradise, the dialogue and humor are still brilliant and funny and the crisis is interesting and suspenseful.
There are no bad Callahan books. Just good ones and brilliant ones. This is one of the merely good ones.
February 17, 2020
My first thought at first being exposed to Callahan's was that it belonged in Key West and everything reminded me of my time in Florida. It's nice that they've finally caught on and moved down there. The plot in the Callahan's stories is always on the light side and mostly it is enjoyable interactions in a bar. The plot in this one is so light that they might not have bothered and just had it be a story about moving a hundred people and a bar from New York to Florida. That element is truly excellent. I plan to listen to this during my next move.
August 18, 2014
So-so... part of the problem may have been my hearing, which is making it more and more difficult to pick up details when there is a lot of road noise. I missed out on the payoff for quite a few puns (which may be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your point of view.) Most of the book is spent telling the story of their move from Long Island to Key West, which I really didn't find all that interesting. If you are a huge fan of the Callahan books, you will want to read it for completeness, but new readers will be lost.
March 8, 2015
A light, easy read, especially if you have read some/most of the works that precede it in the Callahan's cluster of series.
The problem was that I had trouble caring about the characters .... or about the "preventing the end of the world" plot line that has been use several times already.
There were few puns, which had been the most charming part of many of the books. And I did not sense that the characters had great empathy or care for one another, which was also one of the most heart-warming traits of the first few books.
The problem was that I had trouble caring about the characters .... or about the "preventing the end of the world" plot line that has been use several times already.
There were few puns, which had been the most charming part of many of the books. And I did not sense that the characters had great empathy or care for one another, which was also one of the most heart-warming traits of the first few books.
September 4, 2019
I love all of the Callahan's books, but this is one of my favorites. Aside from hurricane season, like now, most people in the Northeast, especially in the middle of winter, think about packing up and moving to the Florida Keys. I know that Key West isn't like it used to be, and I never really want to live somewhere the bugs get as big as they do down there. But, reading about a crowd of eccentric characters packing up their lives into school buses and making a caravan from Long Island to Key West is the next best thing to doing it yourself!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2009
These short stories, all tied together with a common place/cast, make you feel like maybe human beings aren't such cruel animals after all. Opening the first several Callahan books feels like a refreshing visit with old friends. You know them, and their quirks, and that if they're involved with a situation they will do whatever they can to make it better. These are good people. The in last couple of books the formula gets a little bit stale, but they are still enjoyable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews