1.5 Stars.
Is this author trolling me? I'm pretty sure I have been trolled, because I can't take this seriously at all.
Oh, man. Where do I even start on this one? I knew coming into this book that it was not great, and that's actually part of the reason I decided to read it. I kind of have a thing for reading horrible books. As you can see, I've put it on the shelf marked "funny", and that is because I laughed through the whole thing.
Okay... Is Sam Crescent's native language English? At this point, I really want to say no, because the shear amount of grammatical atrocities present in this text are outrageous. To point out a few:
“Bacterial spray” Is she planning on spraying bacteria around everywhere?
"Other than get back some money the rest of the club wanted him dead" (p. 35) I don't even have something snarky to say for this, it stands on its own merits.
"She was stood in the door leading to her escape." (p. 49)
"Yeah it means that Angel's father has just become the most wanted guy to become dead." (p. 61)
"Angel watched as Jeff went angry. The Skulls were laughing at him, all because of David's sloppiness and greed. If felt like it was in slow motion, but Jeff moved to them." (p. 147) He went angry? Oh no, is he coming back? Where's angry?
Also, "he knelt up." Is this a thing? How does one kneel up, can someone explain this to me?
Oh! My favorite line. After explaining the outfit Angel was wearing the narrator then continues on to say she, and I quote, “Only wore a bra and six inch heels”. Only, tends to mean that all she was wearing was the bra and six-inch heels, but the three sentences proceeding this statement talk about her skirt, and shirt and his leather jacket. Ugh.
These are just a few of the many, many errors that are littered throughout this work. I find myself wondering if this was edited at all, and then I poke around and find out that Sam Crescent actually has a publisher. This book costs money! And not only that but she has who knows how many more books published. Oh, my damn. I just can't even process this.
So, I have so much to say about this, that I'm getting all mixed up. I don't even know where to go from my lovely list of amazing quotes that I've highlighted from the book. I keep looking over my notes and I can't decide if I want to talk about word choice or characterization next...
Characters! Ohhhh-kay! Angel and Lash. Angel and Nigel... Angel is so flat that, I can't even. The story starts off with her working in the clubhouse because her father owes the bikers money. Okay, cool what ever, I can hang with that. Being used as collateral isn't great, but I mean it could be worse, I guess. Her dad is telling her to sell her body to the bikers to pay off some of his debts... It's not so cool now, but Angel's thought is to wish for his death. I am not sure that either one of those things is a typical reaction, but willing suspension of disbelief, we continue onward! It is after Angel's beginning and backstory that we're introduced to Lash, who apparently once saw Angel in town and hyper-focused on her and decided that they were going to be soul mates and then proceeds to claim her and mark her as his own, without bothering to ask for consent. One of my notes is legit, "How long does it take for Stockholm to set it?" because that's what I see happening here.
There are a lot of rapey undertones, but it's okay because Lash calms our fears by saying, "I'm not a molester or a rapist" and then demanding that Angel agree with his statement. He forces her to wax her vag, and he tells her he will be choosing her clothes from now on. I get the appeal of the big, macho, male dominant biker, but good lawd, there's a line somewhere and Crescent has crossed it. I don't think I need to go further on them, because I just can't. My brain doesn't want to.
Soooo, ONTO WORD CHOICE!
The word 'cream' is used waaaay tooo much and things like 'slurp' and 'swampy' should not be used to refer to genitalia during sexy times. It just shouldn't. Also, I can't take the word "humping" seriously. Come on now, who's your audience? Honestly the thing that irked me more than anything was the term "sweet-butt" and I don't even know why.
There's a lot telling rather than showing in the narrative and often times I feel like the author was trying to take my hand and lead me step by step through the story. Roughly 75% of this story is made up of simple sentences. "They did this." "She did that" and if the structure varies at all the author doesn't know how to handle it and completely botches the execution, making basic grammar and mechanics mistakes.
Finally, repetition. Do you know what causes a narrative to stagnate and become tedious? Repetition. You know what can help prevent a narrative from becoming tedious? Variety. And editing is your friend. When you edit and revise you tend to find all those annoying little habit words that you don't realize that you use, and this author has definitely never even considered rereading her own work, let alone revising or editing it.
I read the book in about four hours, so that's a thing. There was no content to get stuck on, and if you can get past the super flat characters, poor grammar, complete lack of editing and find the humor in the horrible smut then I suggest you pick it up and give it a go. If terrible smut is not your cuppa tea, I'd suggest you steer clear.
P.S. It's 5 am, I did not proof-read this before posting it apologies for any and all mistakes.