The Lazy Witch's Guide to Vampires & Villainy

by Jessica Gadziala

Roxanne Caulderone is not a witch who enjoys adventure. She’s perfectly happy curling up on her couch, munching on snacks, binge-watching her favorite shows, and fostering a borderline problematic online shopping addiction while letting her spell vending machine do all the work for her.

That is until a handsome, brooding vampire tricks his way into her life.

Kidnapped, then offered a deal she can’t refuse, she finds herself dragged into a dangerous labyrinth filled with ancient challenges and deadly traps meant to keep her from reaching the center. Where she can find the cure to Nathaniel’s curse.

As they venture deeper into the spelled maze, they start to wonder if the biggest challenge isn’t the labyrinth itself, but the growing connection between them that threatens to make Roxy second-guess everything she thought she knew about herself, and Nathaniel reconsider everything he thought he wanted…



+ A cozy (not too dark) paranormal romance with fun magic, a slow burn but with steam, and a HEA.

Genres: Vampires, Romance, Paranormal, Witches, Fantasy, Audiobook, Paranormal Romance

Unknown Binding

Published September 28, 2024

About the author

Jessica Gadziala is a USA Today bestselling author who lives in rural New Jersey with her parrots, dogs, and an ever-growing collection of houseplants. A lifelong dreamer, she’s been writing stories since childhood and published her first book in 2015. When not at her desk, she’s usually feeding backyard birds, rewatching crime dramas, period pieces, and 90s supernatural TV shows, or adding to her towering stacks of unread books.



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xx

Reviews

[➦Paulette & Her Sexy Alphas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Roxanne Caulderone is not Your average witch, oh no no she had to be the laziest witch in the tri-state area…… Maybe I’m being a little harsh or maybe I’m not you make your own judgment…..

I mean come on Roxy is content on doing the bare minimum in life ….
And come on she setup a Kiyash outside of her apartment building where people could buy her spells…….
OH and don’t get me started on the fact that she had a spell for the take out delivery guy… And this is how she accidentally Willingly invited a vampire into her apartment…
She just believed in working smarter, not harder. But that didn’t mean that Roxy wasn’t good at what she did. She did come from a long line of powerful witches
Nathaniel Has been walking amongst the humans for over 300 years. About 100 years ago he was cursed, now he is desperate to find the cure

After all of Nathaniel’s research he realizes there’s only one way to cure his curse
He Desperately needs a willing witch to guide him through a labyrinthian maze…..
The only trouble is every witch that he has approached as flatly turned him down due to the fact that which is in vampires don’t get along, they’re mortal enemies

I really enjoyed watching these two be tested…. more her than him….. Since this was a magical maze, you know that the scenes where the maze had used their own vices and desires against them at every turn were just amazing


This is one of those books where the author chose the right time to release this book. If you are looking for A cozy paranormal romance with fun magic, a slow burn With the right mix of steam, You’ve found yourself in the right place

[Noi (in & out) · Rating 3 out of 5]

cute

[Jessica Gadziala]

Now available!!

[Skip · Rating 5 out of 5]

When one of the laziest witches in the world inadvertently invites one of the world’s oldest vampires into her apartment thinking he’s the Chinese food delivery guy, some weird things happen. See, Rozanne suffers from SLOTH. Okay, she doesn’t suffer from it, rather she kind of revels in it. But her laziness doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have a whole lot of latent power – it just means she can’t be bothered to leave her sofa to tap into it. She’s pretty content selling minor magic spells from a vending machine-type cabinet just outside her building to make enough money for rent, cable TV and food deliveries. So when Nathaniel seeks her out for a mission he needs a witch to help with, he essentially witch-naps her then makes her an offer she can but really doesn’t want to refuse.

Unexpectedly funny and sweet, this is a fantastic story that you will not want to end!

[Cat H · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.4 stars.

[eyes_on_words · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 ⭐️

[Christina (stinarinareads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75✨
1.5🌶️

🔮 Witch FMC x vampire MMC
🔮 Cozy paranormal romcom vibes
🔮 Quest to break a curse
🔮 Novella length, so romance skews closer to insta-lust/love
🔮 Facing your fears and finding balance
🔮 HEA
🔮 Good witchy Fall read!

”Have I mentioned how glad I am that you kidnapped me?” she asked.
“Have I mentioned how glad I am that you were so easy to kidnap?” I shot back.

This was a cozy paranormal romance filled with playful comedy and low stakes adventure that would make a great addition to your Fall tbr! Especially if you’re looking for a shorter read with a lighter tone to break up some of the spookier ones. Sometimes the humor can miss the landing and veer towards cringe, but it mostly made up for it with heart and sweetness.

Roxanne is a witch content on doing the bare minimum in life to get by; selling easy spells, getting takeout on the regularly, and binging trashy witch reality TV and becoming one with the couch. She’s lazy, one could say.

Nathaniel is desperate, one could also say. A vampire for over 300 years, he’s been battling a curse for a century that is slowly turning him back into a human, a powerless mortal man. There’s only one way to break his curse: he needs a key and a willing witch to guide him through a labyrinthian maze with the cure at the heart of it.

At first Nathaniel kidnaps Roxanne because it’s easy (she basically invites him in thinking he’s her food delivery man), but as the two get to know each other, Nathaniel senses something more in her, a greater potential she could reach. And all the ways she could’ve helped him reach his, in another life.

The maze pushes them together and pulls them apart, using their own vices and desires against them at every turn. But maybe the lesson the maze is trying to teach is not how to get to the cure, but what to do with it once you have it.

Nathaniel doesn’t take the cure, and he stays mortal to experience life and love with Roxanne, for however long they are lucky enough to have together💜

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a sweet story.. Not your typical witch meets vampire tale. A fun, quick read.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much fun to read at the right time of year. A lazy witch and a vampire what could go wrong or is it right. Thoroughly entertaining and a easy read.

[Kodie Mackay · Rating 5 out of 5]

What happens when the world's laziest witch accidentally invites an old ass vampire into her home unbeknownstly to her own doom.

Roxanne is a vibe. She's a work smarter, not harder, kind of girl. The kind that settles for less to not have to do much. Ever. Honestly, I loved her. We love an honest self aware girly.

Nathaniel got more than he bargained for with Roxy. Never in his centuries of life has he ever encountered one such as she. Where he was refined and smart she was sloth like with no fucks. Oh, but boy, did his years of unliving give him all the delicious vibes I love so much.

These two are very much opposite. Hilariously, so, but I loved them for it. They bounced off one another with snarky remarks, bickering and banter that fuled the chemistry growing between them. Of course, it was all kinds of funny, sweet, dysfunctional, and with a touch of heartbreak. Jessie never fails, and she hasn't again with this cheeky spooky number..

Fun characters, intriguing plot, and an epilogue that has my heart so freaking happy. It was a win.

[Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a rough time getting into this one and relating to the h. I thought she was going to be lazy in the sense that she would work smarter not harder and kind of took the easy way out, nope, she’s literally a couch potato and it’s not attractive. Then the whole plot was about her laziness and overcoming it and finding motivation and blah blah. It just didn’t work for me. I already checked out by the time their connection started building. They were cute and sweet together but the characters had already lost me at that point.

[Bozena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this beautiful romance, the one-of-a-kind paranormal romance that made me laugh and swoon the whole time.

It's a perfect spooky season read, without any real spooks, but with a full-blooded, yet lazy witch and a desperate grumpy vampire. 😂

Of course, we have a witch in the story, like the title says.
We also have a vampire, who is trying to survive a very complex spell.

This book is definitely not spooky.
It's interesting, exciting, gripping, and has the perfect spooky season, rom-com atmosphere.

It also has a lot of magic and all this witchy stuff about which I can't write without spoilers 😬.
I really enjoyed this great, romantic story.

If you like rom-coms and spooky romantic movies/stories, this is the book for you.
This should definitely be made into a movie.

[Brooke Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessica Gadziala has to have some of her own witchy powers to be able to develop such great characters and plot in such a short amount of time!! This is a novella (just under 200 pages) that packs a big punch! We follow a witch and a vampire that work together to unlock a cure for the vampire’s curse…the problem is that Roxy is one of the laziest witches Nathaniel has ever met in his 300 years of un-life 🤣 These characters had me cracking up and rooting for them every step of the way! If you’re looking for a quick little read to get you into the spooky season mood, definitely check this one out!

[Ivy Deluca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quickish Review

I’ve had a hard time concentrating on reading but this story was giving comfort vibes with a dash of danger. It’s got that JG “heroine in a bit of danger” thing, but it’s different enough from her usual Navesink Bank books that I was pulled in and able to finish it. In the end, it was just what I needed - a bit of adventure with enough romance to keep things interesting for me.

[Abbey Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was < 200 pages so there wasn’t a lot of room for full flushed out characters and backstories.. i enjoyed it mostly because i, too, like to watch shitty reality tv shows and eat junk food. but unlike the characters in this book, i don’t bring it up every other sentence that those are my own hobbies. i liked this book just fine, and i enjoyed the little labyrinth maze challenges because i actually felt like they were unique and not just the same rip offs of more famous labyrinth challenges. but this book was just ok. i skimmed the last 30 pages because i was growing bit bored.

[Tara Ramey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do not come here for depth or substance. Come here for cheesy, magical fun. The characters are light, comical and full of charm that keeps the story moving. It is a quick read, perfect to grab for an easy escape.

[Sara Asna · Rating 3 out of 5]

they were cute, she felt like my spirit animal 🤟😭💜

[Wendy Richardson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was a bit slow getting started for me. I assumed that the "lazy witch" meant work smarter not harder. It actually means she is incredibly lazy...like a definition of sloth with a bit of gluttony on the side. Ironically, later in the book she claims to be working smarter not harder. Anyway, that first 20% was rough and I very nearly stopped reading it. At that 20%, it did start to pick up. I ended up liking the characters and overall story more at the end than expected.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Cute

[Laiza · Rating 4 out of 5]

#RoxyIsMe
#Sloth&Gluttony
#SolveTheMaze
#NathanielTheVampire
#Love&Spells
#Witch&Villains

[hea booktubes]

DNF 62% I’m just a little bored in my current mood.

[Julita · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book from a great author!! :)

[A. H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun quick read

I'm a big fan of Jessica Gadziala, and not a fan of paranormal romance. This was a fun read, but I definitely didn't enjoy it as much as some of her other books. I'll be interested in what fans of paranormal romance have to say. Not a book I'll buy it re-read, but glad I gave it a try

[Lilouae · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short, fun and engaging read

[Lyla Bellatas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun read and the Magick was well thought out.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lazy Witch + Old Vampire

This is very much opposites attract. Roxy is the laziest witch, and Nathaniel is a refined vampire who's lived for centuries.

Roxy accidentally invites Nathaniel into her home, thinking he's the delivery man. This was a funny and sweet novella that doesn't only have to be read during the spooky season.

[Teresa Lenihan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hot vampire and the lazy witch.

This was a sweet and enjoyable read. Nathaniel needs a witch to help him in a magical labyrinth. So he kidnaps Roxanne and offers her an insane amount of money to help him out. What could possibly go wrong.

[Gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this far more than expected, it had me LOLing so many times and really enjoying them and their quests!

✔️dual pov
✔️spice
✔️quests
✔️vampire and witch
✔️he falls first

[Claire Woodson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plot
⭐️⭐️⭐️

Roxanne Calderone is one lazy witch. She spends most of the day ordering take outs, shopping online and watching supernatural reality shows. I don’t know what it says about me but this actually sounds like a dream. In order to fund her sloth like lifestyle, Roxy brews potions for her customers and leaves them in a vending machine outside her apartment. Taking the stairs to drop these off and collecting supplies is the only time she actually ventures outside her front door.
Her abject laziness leads to her accidentally inviting a vampire, Nathanial, into her home under the mistaken impression that he is actually a delivery driver.
Nathanial just so happens to be a cursed vampire who needs Roxy’s help in finding the cure, ever so conveniently located in the middle of a labyrinth.

Romance
⭐️⭐️⭐️

Undeniably cute and super sweet. Nathaniel helped Roxy to believe in herself again and I loved seeing the power she had neglected manifest. The MCs really brought out the best in each other and their bickering and totally opposing life outlooks really added to their overall chemistry.

There wasn’t too much character depth but I didn’t expect there to be in a book of this length.

Spice Level
🌶🌶

World/Setting
⭐️⭐️⭐️

Supernatural setting where witches, well one in particular, sell spells and hexes from a vending machine, witchy reality shows are a thing and you can still order take out. Would definitely move here if the opportunity presented itself.

The labryinth which takes your worst fears, biggest weaknesses and darkest desires and makes you work through them wouldn’t be my favourite, but, if accompanied by a beautiful vampire I’d be sure to give it a good go.

Overall Rating
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Quick, cute and cozy. Good mix of adventure and romance and a lovely bit of escapism if you’re not looking for anything too taxing. Would love to see a spin off with Roxy and Nathanial executing a heist!