Big Fat Disaster

by Beth Fehlbaum

Insecure, shy, and way overweight, Colby hates the limelight as much as her pageant-pretty mom and sisters love it. It's her life: Dad's a superstar, running for office on a family values platform. Then suddenly, he ditches his marriage for a younger woman and gets caught stealing money from the campaign. Everyone hates Colby for finding out and blowing the whistle on him. From a mansion, they end up in a poor relative's trailer, where her mom's contempt swells right along with Colby's supersized jeans. Then, a cruel video of Colby half-dressed, made by her cousin Ryan, finds its way onto the internet. Colby plans her own death. A tragic family accident intervenes, and Colby's role in it seems to paint her as a hero, but she's only a fraud. Finally, threatened with exposure, Colby must face facts about her selfish mother and her own shame. Harrowing and hopeful, proof that the truth that saves us can come with a fierce and terrible price, Big Fat Disaster is that rare thing, a story that is authentically new.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Abuse

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 18, 2014

About the author

Beth Fehlbaum is the author of the YA novels Find the Moon, Big Fat Disaster, The Patience Trilogy (Courage in Patience, Hope in Patience, and Truth in Patience), and co-author of the creative non-fiction book Trauma Recovery: Sessions with Dr. Matt.
She is a high school English teacher. Authenticity and finding one’s voice are frequent themes in Beth’s work, and they are absolutely essential themes in her life, as well.

Beth has a B.A. in English, Minor in Secondary Education, and an M.Ed. in Reading.

Beth is in-demand as an author-panelist, having presented/appeared at the Texas Library Association Annual Conference, the American Library Association’s annual conference, YALSA, N.C.T.E./ALAN, and numerous YA book festivals. She’s a member of The Author’s Guild, SCBWI, the Editorial Freelancers’ Association, and the Texas Federation of Teachers.
She loves doing school visits and meeting teens, teachers, and librarians!

Beth lives in the woods of East Texas in a house on a slice of family acreage. The home was built by her family over one very hot humid summer, a task she wishes never to repeat again. This sanctuary-of-sorts is lined by pine trees, and the woods are inhabited by raccoons, possums, and feral cats. All of these creatures appear to consider Beth their cat-food-providing goddess. There is no place she would rather be.

10 Random Things About Beth, in her own words:

I’m an animal lover, and I always name the animals in my books after those in my family, like the dogs in Find the Moon—Jake, Kevin, and Chase—as well as the Nigerian dwarf goats, Onslow and Daisy.
I am a fierce advocate for children and abuse victims.
My daughter got me started on watching “90 Day Fiancé,” and I. Can’t. Stop.
I met my husband when we were 14 and 15, and we’ve been together ever since.
I mostly listen to true crime podcasts when I’m driving or cleaning the house, and I watch so much “Snapped” that my husband is convinced that I’m planning something nefarious.
I began writing The Patience Trilogy when I was in therapy to recover from Childhood Sexual Abuse. Struggling with shame at the time, I found grace and mercy for myself by writing about someone else having endured much the same trauma as I did. Writing Courage in Patience helped me find my voice as an author!
I drew on a lot of my own experiences with Binge Eating Disorder to write Colby’s story in Big Fat Disaster.
Find the Moon is the most challenging book I’ve ever written. I love Kylie and her family—especially her potty-mouthed grandmother and star-gazing grandfather!
I don’t believe that all novels need a Happily-Ever-After ending, but they must have a HOPEFUL ending.
I’m on Facebook. Feel free to friend me!

Reviews

[Nasty Lady MJ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely horrible and trigger inducing. I understand that the author was saying these characters were wrong, but since 95% of the characters acted like this behavior was perfectly a-okay I am disgusted. If you are triggered by rape, suicide, body image, or dealing with an eating disorder please avoid.

To see full rant click on one of the below links:

My Blog

Booklikes

[Sally Kruger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was like riding a roller-coaster of emotions. There were highs when I was so angry I could spit, lows when sadness and pity brought tears to my eyes, and times when the ride made me feel flat because I couldn't even imagine the tremendous evil that motivates some people. This book had me talking to the characters and sometimes wanting to throw my shoe at them. If you want to feel involved and invested in a book, pick up BIG FAT DISASTER by Beth Fehlbaum.

Colby's life has just exploded, and she believes it is entirely her fault. She discovers evidence of her beloved father's affair with another woman, and this inadvertently leads to the discovery that he has been misusing campaign funds from his run for senator. The result is that Colby and her mother and two sisters find themselves homeless and forced to move into a rundown trailer behind her aunt's house in a place called Piney Creek.

Complicating matters is the fact that Colby is nothing like her beauty pageant mother and beautiful blond sisters. She takes after her soon-to-be in prison father. She is overweight and seems to gain more every day. Colby's mother doesn't understand how her daughter can be so out of control when it comes to food and makes it a point to berate her every chance she gets.

Moving to Piney Creek is Colby's worst nightmare. She is taunted and teased not only because of her weight, but also because of her father's indiscretions and because of an incident the previous year involving her cousin Ryan. She finds herself in the middle of angry, hurtful people at a time when what she needs is love and support.

Author Beth Fehlbaum doesn't hold back as she drags readers right into the middle of Colby's chaotic life. Filled with gut-wrenching honesty, BIG FAT DISASTER takes readers to the lowest of the low and yet is able to inspire at the same time. Thank you to the author for sharing an ARC of this incredible book!

[Mandi Kaye Sorensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have issues with food. I don't talk about them often - or ever, really. But they lurk under the surface, and even when I'm working really really hard to overcome them and build healthy habits they can derail me. Today was one of those days. And today was the day I read about Colby.

I didn't expect her story to end up the way it did, but it didn't surprise me. I did spend a bit of time thinking that there's no way anyone's mom would ever treat their daughter the way Colby's mom treated her... but yes they do. And even without her mom as a motivating factor, everything else Colby was dealing with would have been enough to trigger the depression and self-loathing.

I have a mom who loves me very much and I still struggle (at 31) with self-loathing. There are times I self-medicate with food. There have been many days where I didn't want to be on this earth anymore because the pain I felt inside was so bad.

When I read Colby's story, I felt very connected to her.

At the end, the author reveals that she's struggled with binge eating and knows exactly what kinds of emotions can come with it.

Big Fat Disaster wasn't easy to read, but I'm glad I did. It was authentic, painful, yet still uplifting. Though I'll warn you - most of the characters are unlikable and have zero redeeming qualities.

If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts of self-harm, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

At First Sight: Colby is the odd girl out in her family, she's overweight and, unlike her sisters, she takes after her father (a former football player) rather than her mother (a former Miss Texas). Yet, Colby is often pushed into the spotlight as part of her father's senatorial camping - which is running on a family values platform.

Until the day Colby finds out a big secret about her father -that he's having an affair with another woman - and the Feds come knocking around, inquiring about where the money for the campaign is actually coming from.

In one day, Colby's life is turned upside down with her father leaving and her mother deciding to move them to a small town, where they are taken in by Colby's Aunt and her son Ryan - who really doesn't want them there.

There, Colby's size swells even more, along with her mother's contempt for her. She gets blamed for everything: the changes in their situation, going from a mansion to a trailer, the lack of money and her father's indifference. And even when Ryan makes a cruel video of Colby struggling to get dressed and said video ends up online, she gets blamed for that too.

Second Glance: Big Fat Disaster is a mess.

The tone of the book is all over the place, at first I thought it was going to be about a fat chick getting her groove back and finding her self respect (It wasn't), then I thought it was about Colby finally being accepted by her mother and sisters (Not It), then I thought it was going to be about Colby finding her self and her inner strength in Pine Creek with the help of her cool Bakery owner aunt, and her cousin Ryan -This calls for a Hell to the No! - then it turned dark - bullying, suicides and death, oh my! - and then it was just meh.

Not a single person in this book was likable or even two dimensional, everyone came off as cruel, annoying, bitter or just stupid. Colby didn't fare any better even though this story was from her perspective. We were supposed to care she had an eating disorder (Binge Eating) and feel for her because her mom was a psycho, but really... she was just as annoying as the rest of them.

Yet, the worse thing about this book is that EVERYONE FREAKING GETS AWAY WITH IT!
After all the stuff that goes down, things pretty much end where they started, Colby is supposed to be getting some help by then but that was TOO LITTLE TOO LATE, everyone is still sticking to the status quo, and the main relationship dynamics haven't changed one bit - Colby's mom still hates her, her sisters still think she's a waste of space and Colby still cares that they think that.

Bottom Line: There was one way for this book to work out: For Colby to come out of it triumphantly, or at least with a bit of strength or hope, but this just doesn't happen - I'm not convinced she's going to be OK by the end, either. I don't mean question or demean the author's intent or her experiences -from the author's note I gather some of the stuff (or at least the inspiration for the book) came from real-life events - but her execution does more harm than good.

[AH · Rating 4 out of 5]

Initial Thoughts: As someone who has battled the bulge for most of my life I found it so easy to relate to Colby the 15 year old voice of My Big Fat Disaster. It's so hard to be different from your friends, especially during high school and it certainly doesn't help to have an unsupportive family. Colby's voice showed how difficult it is to live with a serious eating disorder. Kudos for supportive friends like Tina, Anna, and Becca and especially Aunt Leah.

The Review:

Being a teenager is difficult. Being an obese teenager is horrible. I could so relate to Colby, the main character of Big Fat Disaster. When you are a teenager, all you want to do is to fit in with the crowd. It’s very difficult to do so with a weight problem. Colby’s weight problem is obvious – she’s a morbidly obese teenager living with her ex-pageant queen mother and her normal sized sisters in an affluent neighborhood. Colby experiences a lot of disapproval from her family, especially from her mother who, despite her good intentions, continually puts Colby down at every opportunity. Colby eats to numb herself, binging on junk food that she stashes in her room.

”I’m just Colby, The Fat Girl. I live in the school library, shop in the XXL section when I’m forced to buy clothes, and stay in my bedroom with my door closed. And I have my own snack stash that nobody knows about.”

Colby’s life takes a 180 turn when she discovers that her father has been having an affair. At the same time, it is discovered that he has embezzled money from his senatorial campaign. He’s also destroyed the family finances so Colby’s family is forced to move from their family home. Their home is seized by the authorities, her parents separate, and Colby and her mother and youngest sister move to the small town of Piney Creek, to a trailer behind their Aunt Leah’s and Cousin Ryan’s home. This is quite the fall from their upper middle class existence. And yes, this is the same Aunt Leah that the family shunned only 6 months earlier at a family picnic because she separated from her husband because he was abusive.

The story is told through Colby’s point of view and her voice is poignant. This is one sad little girl who is treated like a doormat by her mother. She is screaming for help and her mother is in serious denial. Her mother believes that Colby is the way she is on purpose and that all she needs to do is to stop eating. Meanwhile Colby is thinking:

”It’s like two people inside me are fighting to control what I eat, and the one thing in common is hatred of me for what I look like and how it feels to be in my body: for my inability to stop once I start.”

A chain of events is set in place when a video of Colby attempting to get into her jeans is posted on the internet. Colby becomes despondent and plans her death. As she jumps in front of a truck, she is pushed out of the way and survives. Her rescuer does not. Colby then becomes a part of a deception when her mother insists that Colby was trying to push her rescuer out of the way.

Colby is lucky to have some very good friends around her. They force her to make some important choices and to come clean about the accident. I loved how Colby was able to make friends with the group of weird kids, even swapping horrible mom stories.

The adults in this book are horrible with a few exceptions. Colby’s mother Sonya is one of the poorest excuses for a mother that I’ve encountered in a long time. She is shallow and self-absorbed, making everything about herself. Sonya fails to see that she is the source of Colby’s problems. Colby’s father is an ass for breaking up his family and refusing to help his family with any kind of finances. Colby’s grandparents are just awful, suggesting that Sonya should go back and try to get her marriage on track. They were even worse to Aunt Leah, insisting that she was making up the physical abuse that she endured from their son and her husband. The football coach and the police chief were absolutely horrible condoning the rape of a young woman at a football party, not believing that it was a rape, despite having a witness who reported the crime.

I absolutely loved Aunt Leah. Even after enduring Colby’s family for years, she still had the grace to take Sonya and the girls in, despite all the hardship Sonya had caused her. This is a woman with class. Aunt Leah remained supportive of Colby throughout everything and that says a lot.

Big Fat Disaster was a fascinating read about a girl’s struggle with weight, body image issues, and self-worth. It’s not only about food, it’s about life, friendship, and relationships. I look forward to reading more books by this author in the future.

Triggers: This book contains a few triggers that may affect enjoyment of this book – Eating disorders, binge eating, bulimia, suicide, physical abuse, rape (aftermath only).

Thank you to NetGalley and Adams Media/Merit Press for a review copy of this book.

Review posted on Badass Book Reviews. Check it out!

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review can be found at http://chiquitablogger.wordpress.com

[Jillyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

One Star.

---

Colby Denton is the less than perfect daughter of an up and coming politician, something her family never lets her forget. Her sisters are perfect, but her family is ashamed of her being in the limelight because of her size. Her world starts to come apart when she finds out that her father has been lying and stealing. Forced to move into the trailer on her cousin's property, she must face new obstacles like bullying, school politics, suicide, and self-worth and acceptance in a new town.

This book y'all. This. Book. It had me in rage-tears. It made me so ridiculously angry, you have no idea. I took about six pages of hand-written, venting notes and observations on this one. That being said, I have taken some time to cool off so that I may write a respectful and professional review. I'll try my best to refrain from spoilers.

I was really excited to read this one. In theory, I should have related to it on a lot of different levels. I'm plus sized. I have a father who left us for another family and lied about money so that we had to move in with family. But this novel just didn't click with me at all. Shall we begin?

I didn't like any of the characters, and that includes Colby. She's the main character, and I ought to have felt sympathy and compassion for her, but I found her to be just as bad as the rest of them. Her family is constantly belittling her and calling her uncreative insults like "fat" at every waking turn. Even the other heavy girl in the family makes comments about it. Almost all of her teachers for some reason hate her, and the whole school makes fun of her because she's in knock off clothes. I could have maybe dealt with that. But Colby is constantly talking shit to/about her little sister, she refers to her mom's willingness to go shopping for her at garage sales when they have no money as "dumpster diving". There's a whole lot of shaming going on. They almost all feel like villains, in a kind of melodramatic way. I've been in Colby's shoes, and I've never seen such across the board horrid beings. The family members all blame her aunt for her abuse, the cousin for his defending a girl getting raped, and even Colby's mom for getting dumped. That's not even mentioning the people at school.

I also feel like she brought a lot of this onto herself. And no, I'm not talking about her eating disorder, binge eating. She puts on clothes that are way too tight and gets made fun of for it and hurts herself in the process because she won't tell her mom they don't fit. She speaks her mind at horrible times, and has to pay the price. She lies. It's awful.

On the topic of her eating disorder, I felt like it was added as an after thought when I expected it to be a more central theme. It really, in my opinion, just served to open her up to everyone's hatred. It would go unmentioned long enough that I'd forget (not about her size- that's mentioned constantly, but her disorder), and then would have to think "oh yeah, she has that."

Similarly, there are a lot of heavy topics mentioned in this book that are treated fairly blase in a soap-opera like drama instead of being given the care, tact, and respect they deserve. Eating disorders, suicide, bullying, cyberbullying, abuse, rape, slut shaming, class shaming, this book has it all. There's so much mentioned, but I don't feel like any of them were thoroughly explored or attended to. A video of Colby goes viral, and her mom actually blames her for being fat. Because if she weren't fat, she wouldn't have been filmed. What? The one character that I did like, who called characters out on their bullshit the way they deserved, dies out of nowhere and that upset me too. Not because he died, but because it seemed so needless.

This could have all maybe been leading up to some greater resolution, where differences are resolved and tensions simmer down and Everyone learns something. Nope. Colby starts to sort of come around towards the end, maybe, and then the book ends. I didn't like her anymore at the end of the novel than I did at the beginning. I felt like I read all this drama and conflict for naught.

This wasn't the book for me. If rape, abuse, suicide, or eating disorders are a trigger for you, please read this with caution. In short, it was too much drama and not enough likable characters. Be warned that this has a lot of serious themes and vulgar language. Maybe you'll like it better than I did. Thanks to Netgalley & Merit Press for my chance to read this. This review can also be found on my blog, Bitches n Prose.

[Mehsi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Well where to start. Let's say this book was a mess. I came for the whole overweight/eating disorder story, but I got a whole lot more than that. Embezzlement, adultery, bullying, family problems, rape, violence, suicide and various other things.

I really had to drag myself through the book. I am sorry to say, but all the other stuff was just too much. I felt like I was watching one of those tv drama/soap opera things, that I only watched a few times and hated. It wasn't even real any more. I only got confused, since every time we had gone through one thing, POP there was another problem. Dear Lord, I can imagine why Colby just kept eating and eating. Everyone was just bitching about her fatness, but no one actually tried to help her.

The family, the teachers, everyone was seriously messed up in their heads. Not willing to listen to each other, blaming each other for things, even just bluntly ignoring things even when proof is stuffed in their eyeballs. Rape??? Ah I am sure it was the girl's fault. After all she was drunk and she should have watched out with that. And hey, who says it wasn't consensual??? *rolls eyes* Sorry but that just pissed me off. Sure, the girl is stupid for drinking so much, that she is practically unconscious, but that doesn't mean you can just do what the hell you want with her.

And then we also got Drew. God I wanted to smack that kid. I can imagine, she is a little kid, so much is changing. But come on, that kid never understood anything, was just whining, begging, crying, acting like a spoilt brat.

Then you also have Ryan, aka the sad misunderstood and pissed off teenager who just does everything to make Colby’s life a fricking hell. Seriously bro, maybe you should be angry at the adults and not shove the blame on the kids as well. Luckily it seems he isn’t a total prick since he saves Colby around 2/3 in the book. But still, if he didn’t do all those things, he wouldn’t have needed to save Colby.

In short, I didn’t like the book. I felt it would have been better if it only handed one or two topics, not like 10 or more in one go. So hereby: 1 star out of 5 for this book.

[Sebrina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I always feel bad hating a book and there are not many that I truly hate, but this book was such a hot mess that I can't recommend it in any way.
The author tried to tackle way too many issues in this book. Instead of focusing on her platform of eating disorder awareness and suicide prevention as she expresses at the end in the note to readers, she decides to toss in every possible thematic element she has ever heard of. In a mere 288 pages we read about adultery, embezzlement, body shaming parents, domestic violence, date rape, underage drinking, bullying, cyber bullying, weight issues, suicide attempts, death, bulimia, academic cheating, oh and a token orphaned character. The only "issues" not addressed are teen pregnancy, homosexuality, and drug abuse, but that's kind of a stretch on the latter one because Colby does contemplate abusing her pain pills.
With so much drama happening on every page, the story just gets muddled and loses focus. It was like watching a really bad daytime soap or Degrassi episode.
And the characters are just awful. The whole family is so infuriating. The good-ole-boys mentality may still exist in some southern communities but the book makes everyone in Texas seem like a conservative, self-centered jerk.
And the whole trying to tie her life into the events of The Scarlet Letter for a school assignment just added to the unbelievablity of this book.

I received a free review copy of this book from the publishers via NetGalley but the opinions expressed here are my own.

[Idalis Payne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh man. Y’all. This book had a LOT going on. And while I applaud the author for writing something so personal and raw, there were so many “sensitive subjects” touched on. I felt like there needed to be more of a notice towards the beginning of the book about the subject matters being tackled. At times, it seemed as if because so many things were being worked in, we lost in - depth character development that could have been nice to read. For example, Tina, Anna, and Becca - we don’t get too much about them. Yet, the three of them have very distinct purposes in Colby’s life. And while that might have been purposeful, seeing that the book is from Colby’s pov, I think it would’ve been nice to see them beyond plot devices that move the story forward. It’s almost like the moments that are supposed to read as “plot twists” are more gut-wrenching than general shock? Furthermore, almost ALL of the characters have heavily negative qualities that at times, make the book hard to read. Mainly because it seems as if no one is ever there to “check” them on their nonsense. Like Colby’s relentless lying after Ryan’s death, although this clearly is for the purpose of getting the reader to the climax of the novel. And maybe it is a more relatable take on grief and how one may try and cope/receive love from someone that clearly isn’t giving it to them.Perhaps the resolution after Colby’s presentation could have been a wee bit longer, the ending of the novel felt rather abrupt for a novel that was rather serious in nature. Also, Sonya is perhaps the most frustrating character in all of this and there were moments that I wish we were able to get more of her background and how she came to be such a ruthless and cold mother to Colby, yet refused to see that of herself. Overall, this was a quick, poignant- yet flawed read.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely one of the most difficult and raw books I have ever read on eating disorders to come under the word "fiction".

Colby finds a picture that will send her family and life into a downward spiral - with a family that does not know the meaning of the word selfless, this book will pull at every emotion you have - which for me, means suffering along with Colby as everybody in the world berates, laugs and totally disrespects her because she suffers from binge eating.

Suffering from the same eating disorder, I have to say that the author hit the feelings "right on" when describing the hell that a person goes through, thanks to an eating disorder. I found myself getting angry at Colby's family - how can anyone live through such horrible behavior? and I found myself yelling at Colby for not standing up for herself and not finding her voice. This aspect of the story made me mad and pissed me off.

However, the rest of the story is so true - and the writing so honest that I will be asking a few people in my life to read this book - to better understand what eating disorders are about. I am so proud that the author chose to acknowledge binge eating as being a disorder - so little has been written on this aspect of eating disorders and I want to give the author kudos.

[AsILayReading · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I picked up Big Fat Disaster by Beth Fehlbaum, I wasn’t sure what to expect at first. I had read a few stories of overweight teens before and wondered if this was going to be a story about a girl who felt she was a big fat disaster and then found instant inspiration, which helped her to lose her weight. Thankfully, this story wasn’t that. It was so much more than that!

Colby is a confused 15 year old girl who is thrust into a world of change — and not by her choice. She is surrounded by an infuriating family (except for a couple of more distant relatives) and I found myself wanting to slap them all silly, especially, her mom. Fehlbaum writes this story in a unique way that makes you (the reader) feel like part of Colby’s world. Colby’s world is full of sadness. Her needs are always ignored. She is emotionally neglected and at times abused. Her narcissistic mother is one who tries to keep the outside looking pretty while the inside is a complete disaster.

To read more of my review, you can go to my reading blog:

http://asilayreading.com/big-fat-disa...

[Dulcie Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! I think the characters are written with a clear eye toward reality, and how teenagers actually treat each other, and what their reactions are. It is unflinching in dealing with abuse, both physical and mental, and self harming/suicide. I like that everybody didn't necessarily get their storybook happy ending. That's how life is. Some of us realize we don't have to live that way, and spend years healing. Others, refuse to see their own hurt, or what they caused, and will always continue to live their lives as though they are the "real" victims. I am waiting (not so patiently) for my hardback copy, and for maybe some follow up...? Colby Denton goes to college???

[Jamie]

I received this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review, and honestly? I could not get through it. There was not one single likeable character in the entire book, and I couldn't stomach both the attitudes of most of the characters and the fact that those attitudes were seen as acceptable. I made it about 63% of the way through it, but then The Accident happened and I just gave up. I skimmed for a bit after that but I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to get through the rest of it without hurling my Kindle across the room in a fit of rage.

[aliyah ‎عَلِيَّة · Rating 4 out of 5]

all i remember is getting this book from Ollie’s and reading it and crying from how much i related to Colby and now i have an ED so this book basically foreshadowed my life

4 ⭐️ for childhood

[Emily Kestrel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the book started off really well, with Colby's politician father's campaign going off the rails and having to move into the trailer behind her aunt's house. Colby is a binge eater and her problem quickly spirals out of control. But then the book kind of got bogged down into an after school special approach. The mean kids were too mean, Colby's mother was too bitchy, and the therapeutic intervention at the end was too saccharine. I give the author points for good intentions, but the execution was too heavy-handed and unbelievable.

[M.B. Mulhall · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 (wish goodreads would do half stars!)

I got an ARC copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I admit, I saw the cover and skimmed the summary before requesting this book from NetGalley. From the cover alone, the white color, the image, the cutesy font that says Heartbreak Comes in All Sizes, I was expecting a dark humor kind of romance. That was definitely not what I got. The book was much deeper and hit quite a few very serious topics. There was a bit of that dark humor but it was nothing like I expected. It got increasingly sad as the story continued, leading you to really feel for Colby and what she’s going through. All in all, it is well written, a good read and something a little different than what you might be expecting.

Also, know that there could be some triggers, including rape, suicide and eat disorders and while other reviews say they’re not handled well, I feel as if they are handled honestly. We don’t live in a happy go lucky world where kids are always nice and compassionate towards each other. Sad, but true. It’s definitely the kind of book you’ll want to talk with your teen about after the finish reading it because of all the heavy hitting topics it covers and the fact that they may be able to relate to some of the thoughts reflected in the story.

[Mrs. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Where do I begin on this review? First of all, Ms. Fehlbaum was not shy about hitting a lot of very difficult topics. Because of those difficult topics, though, the main character was much deeper and more easily to understand than any main character I have read about in a while. Many times when an author delves into these deep topics such as physical abuse, mental abuse, suicide, and eating disorders, the characters are shallow and teenage angst ridden. Not Colby. In getting to know Colby, I was amazed she wasn't more screwed up than she was! Ms. Fehlbaum didn't just neatly wrap everything up at the end, either. She leaves us with Colby not fixed, but with the tools and people she needs in her life to HOPEFULLY get her better. Ms. Fehlbaum did an excellent job in showing life isn't neat and romantic...it's messy and hurtful but full of promise, too.

When a book leaves me pondering it for days after, it's an excellent book. I will definitely be purchasing this book for my library and recommending it to every kid I see. I appreciate Ms. Fehlbaum for opening up her heart and her life to us as she has struggled herself with many of these topics. I know it wasn't easy to write Colby's story. It had to hurt, but I want Beth to know I truly appreciated what she wrote and thank her for sharing Colby with us.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC for review.

I was really impressed by this - Fehlbaum captured the voice and the angst of a teenage girl pushed to the absolute limit. Colby Denton is the overweight (and thank you for making her ACTUALLY overweight. It's disturbing to read stories about "overweight" teenage girls who weigh 140 pounds) middle daughter in a family of a career politician (and later, criminal), his phony wife and two perfect sisters. An avalanche of misfortune falls on Colby (and her family-well, "misfortune" would seem to indicate that some of them did not bring it upon themselves) and her struggles will speak to children who have been bullied for any reason (the events are a bit over the top, I suppose and I wish that a few fewer characters, especially the adults, thought that bad behaviors were OK, but will hold attention).

Edited to add: Since this was an ARC I was curious to see some of the other reviews for this. A number of good ratings, but some scathing ones, generally using the word "trigger". I'm curious as to whether that means it was a trigger for an individual reader or the reviewers wanted everyone to avoid the book.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC.
Colby is the middle daughter in a seemingly perfect family. While her mother and two sisters are polished and beautiful, Colby binge eats when she is stressed, and is constantly berated by her mother for being overweight. The "perfect family" facade quickly deteriorates when Colby's father runs off with a younger woman amid allegations of campaign finance fraud. Mother and daughters go to live with a rather impoverished aunt, Cousin Ryan turns out to be as hateful as Colby's mom, Colby continues to find her solace in food, and-- when she's feeling especially worthless-- attempts suicide. Fehlbaum's intentions are good, but the execution falls flat... The characters are almost cartoonish in their nastiness. The end does leave readers feeling that perhaps Colby is beginning to believe in herself despite the cacophony of negative voices that surround her.

[Rose]

I lost interest in this one because of reading about some of the issues about the book in reviews as well as scanning through the narrative on my own terms. I do trigger in cases with the presentation of such themes as rape, body shaming, and other factors, and I don't think this was the kind of narrative that treated it well or with sensitivity. I can't say that this read is for me, so - I'll leave it at that.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are going to need 3 things while reading this book.

1. A quiet private place where you can sob uncontrollably.

2. An IV drip to replenish the lost fluids while sobbing.

3. A time machine to go back and replace the 5 hours that you didn't sleep because you were up all night reading this book.

[Kym Brunner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whoo! What a whirlwind this book was! Gritty and suspenseful, Beth Fehlbaum delivers knee-buckling blows for Colby, a teen with an eating disorder. As sad and unbelievable as it may seem, I can say that I've met/heard/witnessed adults who don't treat their children the way they would want to be treated themselves.

Be prepared for a gripping read that'll make your head spin and your heart hurt.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in a few hours & mostly what I can saw is wow. This story touches on so many things (many pulled from the headlines): body image, binge-eating, suicide, bullying, rape culture, divorce, cheating & politics to name just a few. I felt like the end came a little quick but overall this was a great read & I appreciated the author's take on Colby's story.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read my full review at 1 House, 3 Cats.

[Thalia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read the review on my blog:
http://thaliasbooks.tumblr.com/post/1...

[Nadera Moustafa · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Heartbreak comes in all sizes.” Just in those 5 words it explains the whole book. I loved the plot, because it gave a reality of what could happen to who. Colby, who is the main character in the book, isn’t some skinny and perfect girl unlike the rest of her family. That’s why the quote from the front cover fits the book so well. Colby’s family is all perfect and everything until they find out stuff isn’t at all what it seems. You would think that since her family is so perfect looking that you would think that everything's so perfect like them. And you would also think that since colby isn’t skinny that means she’s that “girl who wants to eat everything.” But “heartbreak comes in all sizes.” This book shows you that anything could really happen to anybody.
I love the way the author wrote the book because she would always mention the small details. She always include how when Colby would see something she would want to eat and she would describe it into detail on how much she wanted it. Fehlbaum wrote Big Fat Disaster in chapters but in the chapters she wrote each thing in sections dividing it with a little spoon. Which I liked alot because of a person who dislikes to read things that have very long paragraphs. That’s why I recommend this book to anybody who does not like to read long paragraphs. And I would also like to recommend this to anybody who loves to read about stuff that expands their mind more. Because this expanded my mind about how everybody is going throw something, no matter what they look like, or even what size they are.

[Cee · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

What an emotional book. This is a book that can be so difficult to read because of the content. Those with a sensitive heart maybe not be able to get through this one, or at least not without crying. The emotional abuse from Colby's mother is not really addressed, but it is something that should be brought up in discussion as well, but I understand why it wasn't mentioned much because of all that was going on in Colby's life.

I found the characters to be quite one dimensional. Everyone has their role to play in this novel, so while they may have different personalities, everyone almost feels like game NPCs (non player characters). They move the story forward to get the main character where they need to go.  

While I found the plot to be well written and flushed out, to me, some of the writing or sections of the book seemed awkward. Now, I'm pretty sure this is intentional, as a way to make the reader feel the emotions of the main character. The writing was very well done, bringing the reader in Colby's position and understanding her position. I thought the scenes flowed decently well. 

The tone is very bleak and as I mentioned before, this book can be difficult to read. There were times I cried while reading or even skipped a paragraph or so because I knew I didn't want to be a part of the conversation/ situation that was about to go down. 

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does an amazing job capturing the feelings of a depressed, anxious teen with a severe eating disorder, as well as the constant self-awareness society requires of anyone overweight. There was nuance in most secondary characters as well. At the end of the day I think it needs to be considered as what it wants to be--by which I mean that plot elements are wrapped up often far too easily or suddenly, as a narrative it's not great, and honestly I bounced back and forth between 3 and 4 stars quite a lot because of that.

It is really hard to write a book that's as much cohesive, well-developed narrative as it is expression of experience. This book really tried. And it didn't do too badly.

[Mercury G · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, as I found it explored many different aspects of a teenager's life. Most interestingly, however, is that none of the characters are likeable. They are all flawed and make mistakes, and the author doesn't try to justify the actions taken by the characters, least of all the protagonist.

Trigger warnings for r*pe, assa*lt, bullying, su*cide, self-h*rm, eating disorders, familial trauma.