Slow Love. Jak straciłam pracę, włożyłam piżamę i znalazłam szczęście

by Dominique Browning, Wojciech Nerkowski (Translator)

Dominique przez ponad dekadę była redaktorką naczelną amerykańskiego miesięcznika. Podczas kryzysu czasopismo upadło, a autorka z dnia na dzień straciła pracę, która była dla niej wszystkim. Jej świat legł w gruzach, zwłaszcza że w tym samym czasie zakończyła również wieloletni związek. Po okresie załamania i apatii postanowiła wziąć się w garść i poszukać recepty na nowe, lepsze życie. Ta książka jest właśnie zapisem jej zmagań. Autorka zaczyna dostrzegać uroki powolniejszego tempa życia, delektowania się nim z dala od wielkomiejskiego zgiełku. Owocem jej przemyśleń jest idea slow love, czyli miłości rodzącej się powoli, bez pośpiechu i kompromisów.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Self Help, Book Club, Biography, Chick Lit

304 pages, Paperback

First published May 4, 2010

About the author

Dominique Browning writes a monthly column called Personal Nature for the
 Environmental Defense Fund website. She is a regular contributor to the New
 York Times Book Review and also writes for O, Body + Soul, Wired, and
 Travel & Leisure, among other publications. Before House & Garden she 
worked at The Edison Project, Mirabella, Newsweek, Texas Monthly, and Esquire. She is the
 author of Around the House and In the Garden, and Paths of Desire:
 The Passions of a Suburban Gardener. She is the mother of two sons;
 her new house and garden are on the coast of Rhode Island.


Reviews

[Gwen · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book simply drips of privilege. From her extolling the virtues of Brooks Brothers pjs (which sell for upwards of $100) to her *second* home on the Rhode Island coast to her oh-so-casual mention of regular lawn service, Browning's world of unemployment is most assuredly NOT the world of this unemployed reader. Browning never mentions any immediate worry over money, only includes vague asides to jobhunting (like finding another job isn't a priority at all), and most appallingly, still seems to keep the same health insurance that she had while employed. So much privilege and yet absolutely no recognition of just how lucky she is. Would we all be in her shoes!

I hated every single mention of "Stroller," her on-again, off-again love interest. I have no idea what he added to her unemployment tale, unless it was Browning's odd way of exorcising old demons. I started skipping through any part that included his name...which quickly became entire pages just glanced over.

How I know Browning still lives in her Conde Nast bubble: she seems utterly baffled and surprised by the existence of Allrecipes.com. Discovering recipes with comment sections sounds completely foreign to her, and she revels in the options the comments allow in the recipe. (Comparing the user reviews section to the Talmud (194), while probably highly offensive, seems pretty apt...) Seriously, has this woman been living under a rock all these years to have not heard of Allrecipes.com until now?!

Also, I resent her fear at turning into a size 10--considered to be 'an alien planet' for her. (206) I guess in her circle, wearing a size 10 is a horrible fate, one doomed for ugly spinsters and unfashionable country bumpkins. (And considering that corporate sizing is all over the map, who even knows what a size 10 is anymore?)

Despite her material consumption (books she hasn't--and will never--read, fancy furniture, etc.), she says, "Thrift was bred into me, and guilt still attends every purchase I make." (188) You certainly couldn't tell this is statement was true from her lifestyle. It's like she's pandering, just the minute-est bit, to her critics...but it falls flat and sounds highly untruthful.

Despite my strong complaints about this book, I found that Browning did have a few moments when I didn't want to throw the book across the room in a fit of rage against her upper class bubble and against yet another frustrating tale from her romantic life.

1) "Work had become the scaffolding of my life. It was what I counted on. It supported the structure. Work held up the floor of my moods, kept the facade intact. I always worried that if I didn't have a job, I would sink into abject torpor. I couldn't imagine life without work--or if I did, I went cold with fear. Not for me, those fantasies of sunny days at the beach." (11)

2) "Then I give myself another one of my daily lectures: Buck up. Just because something has failed doesn't mean I am a failure. Just because something has ended doesn't mean it was all a mistake. Just because I have been rejected doesn't mean I am worthless and unlovable. Sound familiar? It would if you or anyone you know has gone through a divorce. ... This feels like the same thing. Worse. A divorce you choose. Unemployment chooses you." (23)

3) "An errand always gets me going, no matter what my mood. And getting out of the house is becoming a priority. I have become latched to my computer. I cannot log off. Only the heartsick and the unemployed are online all day long, staring at the screen even when nothing is coming into the mailbox." (35)

4) "I know that I am seriously depressed when I can no longer concentrate enough to read, unable to leave my own head long enough to get into someone else's world." (149)

[Meghan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dominique Browning was the editor of a fancy Conde Nast home magazine who lost her job and then faced a midlife crisis of how to define herself and how to spend her time - not married, with grown children, she had nothing in her life except work, a tedious affair with a married man, and a keen interest in home decorating. She comes off as so annoying in this memoir - her revelations about baking muffins, going to lunch, wearing expensive pajamas, and having to sell her mansion and move into her vacation house are, you know, the problems of the over-privileged. Not to mention her tedious affair with the man who refuses to divorce his wife, who she refers to in the book as Stroller - he's, um, not really a catch.

If you really liked Eat Pray Love you might give this a shot.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

After unexpectantly losing my job, I found myself ruminating a lot at Borders Book's the same time they were closing many of their stores. While doing this, I fortuitously located this book amongst the many piles of 70% off's. It was on my list of "someday I might get to it." Am I glad I did! I always loved Dominique Browning's column's when she wrote for House and Garden, even though I am as far away from her lifestyle as one can be. But she writes like she is your friend. And I like her. A lot.

I wish I could hang around with Dominique during my unexplainable (to others) days of unemployment. She truly understands the complete exhaustion of sleeping all day or how much work it really takes to be jobless, particularily when others call and ask "How is the job search going?" She knows the need to be have her presence required somewhere everyday and the compulsion to fill days with lunch dates to maintain human contact and relevancy. She's stayed up all night cooking, organizing kitchen drawers, playing piano and being completely off the rhythm of all the worker bees of the world - she knows being alone while children grow up, work families dissolve and lovers move on.

She writes with warmth, humor, and humanity. Her stories of Stroller are the stories of every woman, but if you can't relate, than you are a rare (and lucky) woman indeed. Who hasn't experienced the madness of a love affair with a non-committed man?

Love you, Dominique. You were a wonderful, charming and warm companion. I hated to let you go at book's end.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing in this book reminded me a little bit of Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love.

I'm a sucker for this kind of book. Specifics aside, her jourey is every woman's ( and probably man's?) journey of dealing with the hand that life deals out, questioning choices, raging to the Gods, and eventually finding the joy and beauty in places you would never have expected- even if that joy was in front of you the entire time.

[Karin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wouldn't have finished this but it was the only book I had with on a weekend out of town. Long, boring, self-indulgent passages.

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was rather disappointed by this memoir. I've been gobbling up life-stories lately and this one seemed like a good recommendation. Who doesn't want to root for someone who "finds happiness" after a major crisis? I was really ready to jump in with her into the hard places of real life and real love when your work life falls apart, you are not on top of the world, and then salvage something beautiful in the ashes. I kept waiting to go there, but her book never picked me. So, I tried just coming to the book on it's own terms and was still disappointed. Her story-telling voice was muddled. She told a lot of stories about her sons, but never really introduced them to the reader (shrouded characters are never really that interesting) - maybe that would fly in fiction, but in memoir you have to be present and big influences should be present, too. Most of the book was less about her own identity than a collection of tales of a bad personal relationship with a sometimes-married man.

I felt like she lost her focus, if she ever had it. She seemed to be writing out of a fog, not like someone who had come through something with a little clarity and something to say.

There are better recovery memoirs out there. I think she could have used a better editor on this piece - most good writing is a product of good editing - it could have been a good story, but just wasn't.

[Libby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my, I wasn't able to finish this book, and that is rare. Her 'problems' reek of privilege, a fact which is never mentioned in the book. After losing her job, she has plenty of money to live on and, in fact, tears down her vacation home to start it again from scratch. Really?! I chose this book hoping to read a story of an unemployed woman's journey from a hectic, materialistic life to inner peace....but it did not deliver whatsoever.

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's hard to feel bad for Dominique Browning - yes, she lost her job and her sense of self. She had to sell her house - and move into her architecturally-designed summer home full time. She was so depressed she spent days at a time in her pajamas - Brooks Brothers has the best ones. Poor thing.

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am so disappointed in this book because it is just so close to being great; it's so close to pulling at your heartstrings and making you relate to the author, but it just never quite gets there.

The novel focuses on the true life-story of Dominique Browning, the former editor of House & Garden Magazine, and how she deals with suddenly being unemployed, and how she learns to slow down her way of thinking, her loves and her life. She learns to appreciate love, cherish it, and in some ways, it is refreshing to see an author preaching the usefulness of slowing life down in our speed-racing world. But at the same time, this concept has been done before, and I don't feel that Browning differentiated herself from the rest.

I also found it highly distracting that though Browning is unemployed, she has enough money to continue her lifestyle. Yes, she does resort to going on lots of blind dates just to eat some good food, but when the economy is so awful that most unemployed are losing their homes, families and sense of self-worth, it's hard to see how anyone can actually relate to Browning's situation.

Maybe it's just bad timing to release the book right now.

Maria @ GoodChoiceReading.com

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a fantastically odd book.

I read it imagining that it would be a ode to slowing down, finding peace, letting go, and living in the moment. That shows up - but not until the last two chapters, and how I wish the book had been more of that and less of what preceded it. Browning's stories are baffling - her certainty that she's controlling (when in fact every man she dates and the man she's 'with' (for some value of that word) fit the descriptor much better) and her obsession with being with someone (without any accompanying growth on the issue in years, it appears) are hints of a larger problem of not knowing who she is or what she stands for. By the end of the book she seems to have figured it out, but oh my god, the pages of destructive self-flagelation in between!

I read this hoping it would teach me something about the life I want to live. It did, through the power of being a negative example. A total head-scratcher of a book.

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've enjoyed Dominique Browning's previous books, which were about her house and garden (and her career at a fancy-schmancy house and garden magazine), so I was intrigued to read her memoir about losing her job and (according to the subtitle) finding her happiness.

I nearly put this down at one point because I found it and her so annoying. Her endless yammering about her relationship with an equally annoying married-but-separated guy grew tiresome almost immediately. It was like listening to a friend who's been making the same mistakes over and over again and can't stop talking about them. It totally eclipsed the much more interesting information about coming to terms with the end of a career and a changing life. In those brief pieces, I found the Browning whose writings I'd enjoyed in the past. If only she'd ended the relationship or, at least not forced me to read about it.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice fast read that I very much enjoyed. I like the memoir genre because there are always things to relate to in the person's life. Conversely, there are new ideas that you might not have thought of, from this person. I liked the voice of Dominique...she is funny, smart, and introspective. SLOW LOVE refers to many things but I like the idea of just slowing down...this is why this was a great match for pandemic time. I am middle aged and mid career and I have been trying to slow down for a couple of years before COVID struck. This book reinforces that, "Hey, that is not a bad idea!"
p.231 quote from Mary Oliver: "You too can be carved anew by the details of your devotions."
p. 259 (another quote from Mary Oliver): "Such beauty as the earth offers must hold great meaning."
p.239 "Today I am happy to find myself sitting on the ground wanting nothing to do--no, not even wanting it, simply accepting that I am enveloped in nothing to do. I begin to understand how nothing to do is its own state of grace, difficult to find deliberately, nearly impossible to recognize. Nothing to do means I can sit and look and let my mind wander, then empty, then fill again, with wonder or with grief, with anything or with nothing at all. 'Nothing to do' is not the same as 'Nothing can be done.' One is hopeless; the other, the place from which hope becomes possible."

[Sariah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is why I don't usually enjoy reading memoirs. They are just narcissistic ramblings and memories. In the case of Dominique Browning, I felt she was an overly privileged career woman who, when the magazine she was an editor of suddenly folded and she round herself out of a job, couldn't actually ever figure out what she wanted in life. I get it. Sudden unemployment is shocking and heartbreaking, especially when it happens right as the country's economy tanks. But she lived in New York City, had a house in the suburbs, and another house in Rhode Island. She has enough money in the bank that she didn't actually have to go find another job at all. She just sold her extra house and moved to Rhode Island to putter around her garden and wax philosophical about her on-again-off-again, married boyfriend and their relationship (He's married. Don't care about "legally separated." He's not divorced and he still lives with his wife and takes her to the opera. He's still married. Your relationship is doomed. There! Figured it out for ya!). By the way, "Stroller" was a stupid name to give the boyfriend. It bugged me every single time I read it. The subtitle for this book is "How I Lost My Job, Put on My Pajamas, and Found Happiness". I got the lost your job and put on your pajamas parts, but did you ever find happiness? The book went nowhere. It was supposedly written as if we were to follow the year following the unemployment, but it was so full of random memories that nothing was ever in the "present". I have to say, some of the writing was beautiful and almost poetic. I understood the point the author was trying to make with certain aspects and I liked the metaphors she used for those parts. But it also felt like she was writing just to hear her own voice. This was her journal or her blog and she wanted recognition, so she went ahead and got it published. It just suddenly ended and I didn't at all feel like she found happiness. She just wasn't in her pajamas all day every day anymore. Is that happiness?

[Jenifer Calandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

I feel swindled by this book.

I expected a story of triumphing over hard times and soul-searching, etc., but instead, I read a story of a wealthy woman who lost her lucrative job but still maintained her wealth. She suffered by selling her main home and moving on to live in her vacation home. She had to get by, by eating in fancy restaurants on blind dates while the men she saw footed her bill. She struggled getting over a long-term relationship with a man she called "Stroller," who was all wrong for her and she knew it, but he lived lavishly and even offered her a fancy-ass Manhattan apartment to live in when she decided to sell her house in a fancy-ass New York suburb. She chose to learn to cook because she needed a hobby and to feed herself, and shopped for ingredients to make fancy foods in fancy markets--because the unemployed are able to do that, you know. She wore out her pajamas (because that is what she wore every day after she lost her job) and had to resign herself to go to Brooks Brothers in Manhattan to buy a new pair. She hires a lawn service to care for her yard, for christ-sakes, but supposedly she has ALL THIS TIME ON HER HANDS BEING UNEMPLOYED.

You know what? I learned nothing from this book, except if you're already loaded and near retirement age, life is pretty damn cushy even if you find yourself suddenly job-less. This is not the story of the everyman living a struggle, fighting off depression, while trying to get his/her life back in order.

Boo freaking hoo, Dominique Browning.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was at times annoyingly melodramatic as the author, with the loss of her job, imagines falling from a window to "the stone terrace, [her:] back cracked and spine twisted...head resting at a birdlike angle" (24). Vivid, but for me falls short (har har) of humor--Browning is hardly living off the streets. Although painful, selling the family home for something smaller and sorting through her possessions (I do empathize completely on the books, however) is not exactly the stuff of financial nightmares. The loss of purpose even (i.e. her job) in this case is not worthy of swan-dive fantasies, when considering her enviable position within publishing, despite any "blacklisting" and regardless of present economy.
That being said, I did enjoy the book. Browning is an excellent writer, with a straightforward, almost wondering sense of humor that is very gratifying. I especially liked her observation in a restaurant: "Why, I was once mesmerized throughout dinner by a beautiful woman at the next table; she was in her thirties, dressed in designer clothing, and sucked her thumb throughout the entire meal...it was all I could do to keep from walking over to find out everything about someone so uninhibited the she could regress in public" (102-103). Her tangents are remarkably interesting; for instance, her quest for yummy muffins spanned pages and was pretty amusing.

[Eleanor · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book when I had been working more hours than optimal and was wondering what would happen if I did without a job for a while. This book, in which the author is laid off, moves to relatively remote coastal Rhode Island, comes to terms with being alone a lot and spends most of her time cooking/gardening did not provide a particularly appealing alternative to the working life for me personally. And, perhaps because it's been a while since my last difficult break-up, I did not find her discussion of ending her relationship particularly moving either.

My reaction made me want to reread "Split", which I read much closer in time to my own wrenching break-up and loved, to see if it is still as powerful. I remember reading "Split" and thinking, at times, "Wow, this woman is crazy" and at other times, "Wow. I get what she's going through." My preference for "Split" over "Slow Love" may be because "Split" seems more raw and "Slow Love" more rational, at least in the way the prose comes across.

I didn't love "Slow Love", but I'm happy to have finished one more impulse bookstore buy. I haven't entered an independent bookstore since July, so my "to read" stack is headed the correct direction for once. Don't worry, though, it's highly likely that I'll fall off that wagon soon.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this one for book club. I really expected to dislike the book--and did dislike much of it--because the title suggested, at least to me, yet another self-conscious take on the "eat, pray, love" theme. Then again, maybe every memoir has to get at these themes because eating, loving, and finding spiritual peace are part of the human condition. It's just that some writers address these themes better than others. Her wisdom is certainly not revelatory: "Do not cling to old patters. Nothing can be what it once was." And her use of metaphor to help the reader identify with her experience is not fresh: Taking up the "Goldberg Variations" on piano after many years, she says, "I am becoming, once again, an amateur musician," to drive home the concept of rebirth after job loss. Still, some of her observations are poignant and unapologetic: "The house, like any old thing, is needy..." And I can really identify with this passage: "By this time in my life, I need a certain kind of chair and a certain kind of table nearby, and ... a kind of light that suits my eyes. I like a certain color palette. I need a kind of comfortable clutter. I like to rest my eyes on things to remember the times I found them or the people who gave them to me." She could be describing my study!

[Kelly Olexa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had read a review of this book in More magazine, and I'm definitely glad I took the time to read it in its entirety. I can certainly relate to the story told as I experienced losing my job in 10/08 after the company by whom I was employed abruptly declared bankruptcy. My world was upside down and I embarked on a 14 month journey that changed my life completely (for the better of course!). The author was editor of House & Garden magazine and when they shut down, so did her usual daily routine and existence. Much of the story is really a portrayal of the cathartic journey she lived....learning more about LIFE outside of the chaotic world of publishing.....putting aside a ridiculous relationship and moving on.

The story was interesting- a bit heavy toward the end (only in my opinion)in melancholy...but she is just being truthful. Overall, a very good read.

[Hol]

I like reading Dominique Browning because she is thoughtful and self-deprecating and appreciates the dimension of time in gardening, but also because her neuroses are different from my own. It struck me as odd that she spends part of this book flagellating herself for staying in a long-term relationship with an "emotionally unavailable" man, because it seemed to me that the situation more or less worked for her: she got to devote herself to her incredibly high-powered career and enjoy solo-parenting her sons on the weekends they weren't with their doting father, yet also, once in a while, zoom off to Vienna to eat chocolates and drink wine with Mr. Unavailable. Hi, Dominique: It's okay--you can't have everything at once. Also, it's okay if you don't like to cook. Really.

[Sherri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the perfect book to read as I look ahead to summer vacation. Thankfully, I haven't lost my job, but her focus on spending time without work is inspiring. Very thought-provoking and beautifully written.

I especially liked her reflections on her past as a working mother and her troubled relationship with ambivalent "Stroller." The setting and the writing style in the intertidal closing section was very clearly influenced by Mary Oliver who is one of my favorites because of her optimism and focus on nature.

[J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

At a transition in my life, I found out about this book, signed up for Browning's blog, and been enjoying her writing ever since. While this book's story does not correspond to most of the every day unemployment issues folks face, it is spot on in terms of the emotion and upheaval that take place in the aftermath of losing one's job and identity.

[Doriana Bisegna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a wonderful read! Charming, funny, honest and well written! A great little book to ease all our anxieties about having to do it all!! This book will make you sit back and think about all the little precious things that we have given up in order to make all the other "stuff" work!! I found each chapter heartwarming and thought provoking!

[Kieran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really wonderful. Actually just as much about healing from a broken heart (from a man) as it is about healing from losing her career.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Liked this one.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because of the similarities between Browning's situation and my own-- we are both introverts who lost high powered jobs in our mid-fifties and have pressed on to find new meaning in life. The fact that Browning lost her job to a sudden death corporate restructuring, and I lost mine to a more voluntary early retirement incentive doesn't detract from the similarity. It is akin to losing one parent to a fatal car accident and the other to a slow-moving disease-- both result in irreversible and painful loss. So, I identified with Browning going in, but as we moved through her rehabilitation, I felt like I was in the company of a strange girl women who had performed competently in the corporate world only to present as a self-deprecating, immature and uptight adult in private life. What happened to fire in the belly? Dinner as a glob of peanut butter and a stiff drink-- come on. I looked at a few of Browning's other articles in the popular literature, and they are all confidence and competence, no adolescent cookie diets or lover's tantrums. The book is full of wonderful passages but frequently, these beautiful insights are snuffed out by snarky, smirky little remarks on the back-end. Even with these drawbacks, I was riveted by the book. I respected the honest if annoying late middle age assessment, and I left feeling like I'm in pretty good shape with the post-career journey.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dominique Browning was the editor in chief of House and Garden Magazine. I have always enjoyed her writing and although I didn't subscribe to her magazine would stand at the bookstore reading her monthly editorial just for the pure pleasure of her words.


After running the magazine for over a decade, she lost her job when the magazine abruptly folded (stupid economy). The book details her life following the shock of job loss. It is a quick read and my only criticism is the frequent mention of her heartthrob, a guy she nicknames "Stroller" (for strolling in and out of her life). I could hardly stand reading about him so I started skimming anytime I saw his name in print. You know how it is when you are watching a movie where the heroine clearly should dump the boyfriend only she figures it out after an exceedingly long period of time? That is how I felt about this guy. I wanted to write to Dominique and say, "Really? You couldn't figure out he was no good the first moment you met him?" Oh, and he's married--slightly separated but nevertheless married. But, I digress. I enjoyed the book.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

NOT A FAN OF THIS BOOK. THE PREMISE INTRIGUED ME, HIGH POWERED CAREER LADY LOSES HER JOB AND FINDS HER IDENTITY. OUR JOBS, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, BECOME SO MUCH AN INTEGRAL PART OF OUR IDENTITY THAT WHEN WE LOSE THAT, THE PEROSNAL TRANSFORMATION IS AN INTERESTING ONE. THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT I WOULD BE READING, HOWEVER I WAS WRONG! INSTEAD, I FELT THIS AUTHOR WAS TELLING US THE STORY OF HER OBSESSIVE FIXATION ON AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MAN WHO HAPPENED TO BE MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN! OR SEPARATED. SOMETHING SO CLICHE IT ALMOST PUT ME TO SLEEP WITH ITS BANALITY. HASN'T THIS BEEN DONE BEFORE, LADIES?! HONESTLY, WOMEN WHO CHASE MEN WHO CLEARLY DO NOT WANT THEM, BORE ME. SNOOZE. I THINK, IN THE BOOK, SHE NAMED THIS GUY "STROLLER" BECAUSE HE WAS ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY! LOL. WHAT A WINNER, HUH??? ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT THIS AUTHOR IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER, AND I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN HEARING THIS ALL TOO TYPCIAL STORY. WHY ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT WOMEN CHASE MEN WHO TREAT THEM LIKE POO IS ACTUALLY DEPRESSING TO BOOT! IF I WANTED THAT I ABOUT I COULD TURN ON THE BACHELOR OR READ "HES JUST NOT INTO YOU." I WAS EXPECTING MORE OUT OF THIS BOOK BUT I DID NOT GET IT.

[Avolyn Fisher · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book lacked a good plot line or easy to follow story (it seemed to jump around a lot and was a bit scatter brained) it had tokens of charm and I can site numerous quotes that made this book worth the read.

here are a few:

"Now I wonder if all we were doing was replaying old patterns, long ingrained in our characters, mirrored feelings of abandonment, rage, confusion, despair - and finally, clinging to fantasies of salvation, hope that there would be one person to take us to a happily-ever-after place." (p.30)

"Stroller doesn't even come into my thoughts very often anymore. When he does, I wonder why I broke my heart trying to make him happy, when he didn't even know if he wanted to be happy. Why did I spend so many years hanging around like a wide-mouthed bass, just waiting to grab that baited hook for another fight?" (p. 248)

"It was just a matter of finding room in my life again for everything I love, and letting the quiet of solitary moments steal over my heart." (p. 250)

The list goes on but I don't want to steal the thunder of the book.
Good read.

[Courtney · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has a great basic message of slow down and enjoy the small things of life. But other than the overall message, I found this book difficult to read.

The author loses her job but is fortunate enough to not face many of the hardships people face when they find themselves out of work. She has two houses so sells one, she has the means to dive into cooking and swim lessons and opera, and she has friends and family around her. Most of the people I know out of work are stressing about their next mortgage payment and grocery bills, not deciding which opera to see. And on top of that, the author is in a relationship with a married man and keeps examining why he won't leave his wife. Who cares why he won't leave his wife, the point is he has a wife!

I imagine the author found writing this book therapeutic, but there are better novels and memoirs available with the same message to slow down with characters that are easier to relate to and care about.

Thank you Goodreads First Reads for my copy of this book.

[Guilie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book, quite randomly, a few months after I'd put on my own pajamas and had, in fact, found happiness. I quit my job rather than lost my job, and although I've had my share of ambivalent men and relationships that refuse, mule-like, to go where I desperately want them to, for the last decade I've been involved in the most rewarding and balanced emotional engagement of my life. But the pajamas and happiness bit resonated like a rumble from the core of the Earth. I thought, I must read this. And I'm so glad I did.

The story is engagingly told and the language is beautiful, even poetic at times, but it never gets in the way of the narrative. This is a writer who knows her stuff, who lets Story take center stage. She is also a brutally honest writer; her soul spills among the ink of the page in humorous, painful, uncomfortable, disarming sincerity. It's a wonderful read, but more than that it's a gift. One this hurried, squirrel-attention-span world we live in really, really needs.