The Field of Someone Else's Dreams

Saugatuck #0.5

by Amelia C. Gormley

Chris Boyden loved Matt VanderVeen since junior high. But growing up gay in the Bible belt of west Michigan was difficult, and unlike Matt, he wasn’t brave enough to face the prejudice head-on. Especially when his family told him over and over that he wouldn’t be able to attend college without a scholarship.

Back in high school, he worried that coming out would get him kicked off the baseball team or make recruiters reluctant to scout him. Eventually, Matt broke up with him when he couldn’t handle being Chris’s secret boyfriend any longer, but college has given them a second chance — if Chris has the courage to take it.

When a terrible injury puts Chris's baseball scholarship in jeopardy, it reminds Chris of all the reasons he stayed in the closet to begin with, and his ultra-masculine father's expectations and thoughtless homophobia aren't helping. Baseball has always been Chris's hope for the future, but now that dream could cost him Matt's love.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Short Stories, Sports, Romance, College, Contemporary Romance

50 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 13, 2013

About the author

Amelia C. Gormley published her first short story in the school newspaper in the 4th grade, and since then has suffered the persistent delusion that enabling other people to hear the voices in her head might be a worthwhile endeavor. She’s even convinced her hapless spouse that it could be a lucrative one as well, especially when coupled with her real-life interest in angst, kink, social justice issues, and pretty men.

When her husband and son aren’t interacting with the back of her head as she stares at the computer, they rely on her to feed them, maintain their domicile, and keep some semblance of order in their lives (all very, very bad ideas—they really should know better by now.) She can also be found playing video games and ranting on Tumblr, seeing as how she’s one of those horrid social justice warriors out to destroy free speech, gaming, geek culture, and everything else that’s fun everywhere.

You can find her self-published Impulse trilogy almost anywhere ebooks are sold, and check out her catalog of Riptide Publishing releases at their website.

(NOTE: If you are sending me a friends request just to try to promote your books to me or invite me to release events, I will unfriend and block you. I don't use GoodReads to spam people and neither should you.)

Reviews

[Exina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chris and Matt have been dating secretly since junior high. The Field of Someone Else's Dreams tells the story of Chris’ coming out to his family, and the events that led to this decision.

God damn it. Tears burned my eyes and I couldn’t stop them. Everything hurt so bad and there was nothing. No hope. I was screwed. By the economy, by the educational system, by the national health care system… I was twenty years old, and I’d done everything I could possibly do to give myself a future.

Chris and Matt is a very lovely couple. The story is emotional and thought-provoking. The ending is hopeful; I was surprised that Chris’ dad finally came around.

[Mandy*reads obsessively* · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautiful picture prompt for the LHNB collection.

This is a little story with a big message.
It covers a lot of ground for such a short story, without feeling preachy.
For Chris to go to college without a shitload of debt he needs a scholarship, but what happens when he has an injury that makes playing impossible?
Matt has a scholarship too, but to really do what he wants, where he wants it, he would need to go to another school. But if he goes there, he loses the scholarship, a catch 22 for sure.
Add to all of that Chris loves Matt , but he just knows he can't come out, his family won't understand, but Matt really wants him to.
Well, shit happens as it must, and there are still open questions, but despite everything I was left feeling this is really going to work out ok.
Maybe not right now, but it will, and you know that's how life is sometimes, it's messy and unfair and sucks, but it's also wonderful, hopeful and happy and an adventure.

[CrabbyPatty · Rating 4 out of 5]

For such a short novella (around 50 pages), the author does a nice job of setting up the dilemma Chris faces. He's been injured playing baseball and is in danger of losing his college scholarship. His father is pushing him to succeed, to play through the pain, to be a man. Chris has shut himself firmly in the closet, living his life to fulfill someone else's dream (his father's) and denying his love for Matt, his high school ex-boyfriend. In this vignette, it all comes to a head. Can Chris tell his truth and build his life with Matt? I would have liked a bit more of an epilogue since we are left on the cusp of the start of their new life together, but overall 3.5 stars.

[Jonetta · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an honest but painful look at one young man's journey from being in the closet to acknowledging to his family that he's gay. The impact on those around him was frank and unpredictable. Really good short story.

[Kazza]

I'm not into college-age stories. I'm not into jock stories, I'm not into established couples, unless they are part of a series I really, really like. I also very rarely read free reads. So these things were all against me reading this short. So why did I read it? Because Amelia C Gormley wrote it. I also loved the title of the book and the play on Field of Dreams and baseball, and the direction of the book from an emotional standpoint.

This story of a young man who has a baseball scholarship was timely as it looked at -

A couple who kept coming back to each other through love, although it was hard as one was out and the other continued to struggle telling his family
The economy and the effects on a family
That religious beliefs can make a parents love conditional
How fear by a child keeps them immobilised and closeted
How fathers can push their sons into stereotypical manly pursuits
How life is not always a bed of roses

There was a sad undercurrent to this short and I have to admit to being angry at times - I don't like conditional love - your children are your children and they do not choose to be gay, straight, or otherwise. So I guess it did its job and pissed me off where it should. The MC's were nice enough. The ending was certainly apt, given the story.

The writing is strong, it certainly elicited emotions from me, and I liked the MC's well enough. It is a free short read and it is definitely worth reading.

[Chris Cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story made me tear up several times. The author showes us very real and realistic emotions through her MCs, one who is out and proud and wants his boyfriend to walk in the light with him, and one who knows his family will reject him when he admits to them that he is gay. The empathy of the characters for their family, the sadness they feel for hiding who they are, is all on the page in a very moving portrayal. A great, emotion-provoking read.

[Leta Blake · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, Amelia brings her characters to life in a moving and exciting way. This was a fantastic read and, from what I understand, a taste of a universe in which many books will be set in the future! Amelia's writing is always crisp and detailed and the characters are real, people you can sink your emotional teeth into! Loved it!

[rameau · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was really good. A story about a college student and an injured baseball player drifting, trying to decide what he wants or even dares to expect from the uncertain future. There's a secret boyfriend and there are difficult parents. Read it.

[Janeylou · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I need, want, MUST thank this group for these reads. I have had the best weekend getting lost in them and this was no exception.

I took my time with Chris and Matt. Their story was not one to be rushed. I do wish that I saw them when they were in high school but I was given enough to know what they went through. I ached for everyone in this story, even Chris' parents. This read so real and true to life for me. Sure, it's nice to read the easy stories but this one broke my heart.

If keeping my secret made me feel like shit, I could only imagine what it must have felt like for him to be the secret.

To see Chris go through his struggle tugged at my heart strings as a hopeless romantic, a woman, a mom and a human being. I don't want to get on my soap box but it pains me and pisses me off when someone has to choose to be who they are or fear the reaction from those who should give them unconditional love. I did appreciate the words of Chris' mom, they were honest at least and his dad did surprise me. In a perfect world, everyone would be accepted for who they are regardless of who they love. Until then, I can only hope and dream. *takes foot off soap box*

Matt, sweet and patient Matt. Can he get a halo simply for his personality? His love for Chris was beautiful; these boys deserve a happily ever after with the interrupted scene complete. Oh and I loved the scene from the prompt, it was intimate, sensual and cozy. Yes, I said cozy.

Surely there was nothing softer on earth than his lips gliding across my spine, nothing more sensual then his tongue and the scrape of teeth against my shoulder.

The Field of Someone Else's Dream...that title was perfect. The story was well written, the love was pure, the journey not over for Matt & Chris but I am elated that I went browsing for more from the M/M Romance Group's "Love Has No Boundaries" event.

I have to say that I had a HUGE aha moment when I was almost done with this and realized that Matt and Chris were friends with Topher Carlisle, the same Topher that is getting his own book! HOLY CRAP! Yeah, I might have said that very loudly when that light bulb went off. Just goes to show it pays to stalk, um, passionately follow the authors you like on Twitter. Just. Saying.

[Serena Yates · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of many examples of a closeted young man trying to make things work with an out boyfriend, this is the story of Chris and Matt. They've known each other since high school and are now attending the same college. They love each other, but Chris is scared to death about coming out. And as the story develops, it becomes pretty obvious why.

Chris is on a baseball scholarship, urged along by his father. His dad is also a very macho man, who utters homophobic slurs every 5 minutes and doesn't even realize what he's doing. Chris is justifiably scared to come out, he fears he won't have a family left to come home to once he "admits" who he really is. And once he does come out? He learns a lot about them and himself, but it is not easy nor a very happy situation.

Matt is out and has his family's support. He doesn't want to be Chris's dirty secret, and while he doesn't give Chris an ultimatum, he is honest about his dwindling ability to deal with hiding who he is, and who they are to each other. When Chris comes out, Matt has a lot of learning to do as well. For him, it was unimaginable that Chris's family wouldn't come around, but that's what he has to deal with.

If you like realistic stories about young men who have to deal with homophobia and families who are less than understanding, if you enjoy reading about college students learning to deal with life, and if you're looking for a realistically written piece without a rose-colored perspective, you will probably like this free short story.

[Meep · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kindle-Sort-ReRead

This is good but I can't say I liked it. There's a heavy defeated feel to the story even when the characters rally on. Money issues, healthcare, religion, family, being out, love with conditions, what the future will hold.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reason I've actually read this novella is Topher, who is first mentioned here. In May his novel ‘Saugatuck Summer’ will come out and I look forward to reading more about Chris and Matt’s friend who
...hides absolutely nothing, and doesn’t bother to play anything low-key, even if it makes others squirm, who... just lets it all hang out and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.

I really enjoyed reading this short, engaging story about coming out and coping with some tough issues like the pressure for a scholarship to attend college, hospital bills, and homophobic or ultra religious parents.

Chris and Matt are so young but determined to hold onto their love. I instantly fell in love with these guys and apparently they will be getting their own novel in Amelia’s upcoming Saugatuck series. Yay!

[Julesmarie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was fucking depressing. I'm 100% an escapist reader. I read so I can get lost in someone else's reality for a while (and the further that reality is from my own, the better! especially if it's sappy and fluffy with guaranteed happy endings!) and this reality was miserable.

While I appreciate that the characters were realistic and their situation, especially the coming-out to the conservative family, was realistic, I don't read for realism. I don't read so I can hear about other peoples' financial difficulties or how narrow-minded their families are. So this just didn't work for me.

It was well written, and the characters were certainly well-drawn. It just wasn't FUN to read.

[Annika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short story really captivated me. Apart from the likable characters this felt like a real life story, the economical crises and its impact on a family, the need and pressure for a scholarship to attend college and what'll happen if if you loose it, hospital bills and a family that has mighty big problems accepting a gay son but, despite their convictions, is struggling to accept it at least partly. It's not an escapism read and I liked that (for a change). It's about real life, which is often unfair and how you make it work anyhow resp. how you cope with it. Would have loved to read more about these two!

[Jewel · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent introduction to this series and a good illustration as to how casual homophobia can really hurt. Chris wants his relationship with Matt to be in the open, but he is afraid of how his family will react. His dad has always been very macho in his outlook, meaning gay=sissy, etc. So, understandably, Chris is scared. Matt is very understanding of Chris' situation, even though he really wants Chris to come out. He knows it isn't always easy to do.

Their relationship and the things they go through in this book seemed very realistic to me. I am super impressed with this author and look forward to reading more.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was captivated by this different take on a coming out story.

The life problems were well-captured and the characters worked. There was essentially no sex in this story - one scene that faded to black after some heavy kissing and another scene that was interrupted. But it was an engaging story, shedding light on some real issues and telling a story I haven't seen in writing before.

[Anke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another one in preparation for Rainbow Con - and I loved it! It's a very short story but what an impact in these few pages. I really hope that there will be a follow-up with Chris and Matt. In the meantime I'll read the other Saugatuck book, well, when it's finally released. Only a few more weeks:)

[Carey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very sweet.

[Meggie · Rating 2 out of 5]

For me, sure, it's a nice start for a story, but to undeveloped, incomplete and simply to sad. I didn't really like this story.

[BevS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice little story about Chris and Matt, Chris eventually finding the courage to come out of that closet to his moderately religious and 'manly man' dad. 4 stars

[Marc Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this prequel to the Saugatuck series in order to find out whether I’m interested or not. Well, I found out that I’d probably like to read everything written by Amelia C. Gormley, probably even her shopping lists. – This is a very well written novella. I loved the short story and I was totally captivated. I will definitely read the series.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

What the fuck is wrong with America? This was a wonderful story and very realistic, but too damned short. I want more!

[T.M. Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris and Matt have been in a relationship a couple times now. First in high school, but Matt left Chris when he wouldn’t come out. Now in college they are trying to make a go of it again. But the same issues that drove a wedge between them before are not yet resolved. Can Chris come to terms with his sexuality and be honest with his conservative family about who he really is? Or will he allow his pride and appearances to cause the man he loves to leave him alone, again.

Chris Boyden loves baseball, he loves everything about it. The rush, the feeling and the sound when he holds that bat in his hand and hits the ball. But his reasons for playing may not be all self serving. He feels the need to provide for his family, he doesn’t want to let them down. This is a huge factor in why he hasn’t told anyone he is gay either. But the time has come to make a decision. Either Chris comes out and lives his life in the open with Matt, or he stays in the closet and looses the one thing that matters most, Matt’s love.

Matt VanderVeen has loved Chris since they were teenagers. But he wants to love him out loud. He wants to hold hands in public, kiss him whenever he wants and take vacations together. Not lie about where they are going, who they are with or what they are doing. When Chris is injured and finally comes out to his family, it would seem that Matt is getting his wish. But the regret and the backlash may be more than his lover can handle.

This book pissed me off! But not for the reason you may think. My heart broke for Chris and the struggle he was going through. The conversation with his mother in the hospital literally floored me. I wanted to reach into my kindle and strangle her! Kudos to Gormley for making the emotions and words jump off the pages and really resonate with me. Matt was as understanding as could be expected, in his situation. And it’s not often that I read a story where the character is completely honest about his feelings. Matt told Chris straight up that he loved him and he would hold on, until he couldn’t hold on anymore.

I am completely in awe of Gormley’s writing style. There is something almost animalistic in her writing that is really engaging. I can’t wait to see what she gives us next. Be sure to grab a copy of this book, it’s free right now, and then follow up with the companion novel Saugatuck Summer.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, this one covered a lot of complex issues in just a few pages.


Chris, a young and promising athlete, needs a scholarship in order to not leave college with a debt as high as Mount Everest. But a sports scholarship and coming out just doesn't seem to go together, no matter how much you're wishing for a loophole. Add the pressure of a man-ly man as a father and the guy you're in love with and just can't shove back in the closet as if it'S nothing, and Chris has more than one full plate to deal with.

And shit happens. And everything comes to a head. And we get to watch it all.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit. The desperation of Chris on so many levels - career, money, love - felt real and understandable to me. Matt was a sweatheart, he tried so hard to do the right thing again and again without losing himself. Watching these two struggling through real life problems of new adults was heart-breakingly real to me. Plus, the whole story line with Chris' parents was as a great analysis of the power of words & the power parents' actions and casual remarks have over their children and their inner strenght or strife.

I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and was very happy with the way things worked out. It definitely got me interested in reading the next Saugatuck>/i> story.

[Shirley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I kind of read this book out of order, but that’s actually okay. Even though the events The Field of Someone Else’s Dreams happen before the events in Saugatuck Summer, nothing is given away. This one is great if you want a taste of either Amelia C. Gormley’ or the Saugatuck series. Since I already had both, the main thing that I walked away from this short sweet read was hoping there was more.

That’s not saying that The Field of Someone Else’s Dreams was lacking. It wasn’t. It gave readers the perfect amount of story revolving around Matt and Chris. Their back story was given in mini flashbacks that worked well. The fact that Matt cared enough to give Chris another chance. Chris’ inner battle was understandable. To say I wasn’t a fan of his parents would be putting it mildly. These two boys may have grown up together, but they had totally different backgrounds.

If you’re looking for a quick read (only about 50 or so pages) this one is perfect. This isn’t even really a set-up for Saugatuck Summer, just a little side step into the lives of characters that went to school together. One can definitely be read without the other, but I’m glad that I picked this one up. I’ll definitely be on the lookout for more books by this author.

[PJ Mooney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this story. The premise is sound, the characters believable, and the plot engaging. The execution, however, is unfortunate. It's possible I was predisposed to disappointment, because my expectations were high--I have read and adored other works by this author.

The difference lies in editing. Hard as I tried to share in Chris and Matt's journey, I simply could not get past the comma splices, pronoun-antecedent disagreements, split infinitives, and misplaced modifiers. When I'm forced to reread a sentence to decipher its meaning, the flow of the story is broken. When this happens every second or third page, the reading experience quickly becomes dissatisfying, if not painful.

When I finally turned the penultimate page and my eyes fell on "THE END," I thought, "Thank God!"

[Tracy~Bayou Book Junkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great free read.
Chris is a baseball player that has been injured, and may not be able to play the next season. If he can't play he will lose his scholarship. Matt is his the physical therapist aid, and unbeknownst to everyone, Chris's boyfriend. Matt is out and proud and Chris is very much in the closet.

This was a really short story. Chris and Matt have such a good chemistry. I wish this had been a longer book, and we would have met Chris and Matt in HS and gotten to see them fall in love.

This was a very emotional read. I loved what I read, I just wish there would have been more of it. I think the author had great characters to work with and this definitely could have been a full length book.


I actually read book 1 (Topher and Jace's story) before this one. I really hope Amelia writes more books in this series.

[Furio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Writing is an asset in this coming-out short story: it is not only professional but capable of moving the reader with finely worded, relatable feelings.
The story itself reads more like a difficult coming-out SHOULD be than how it actually WOULD be but the author's intentions are good and it is easy to overlook the problem.

P.S. What is dramatically real and perfectly pictured is the abysmal Usonian healthcare which will not allow even hard-working, honest, lower middle-class or working-class people to afford hospital bills because insurance companies always find their way out of their obligations.

[Discerningcritic · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this. It's short (short stories generally are) and I found this difficult. There simply wasn't enough space for full character development. That said, it was a pleasant enough read, for the time the author had to tell it. I'd like to see this concept taken a little further by the author, so she has a chance to explore her characters deeply and give them some body and soul. The bones are there, it just needs flesh, and I think with a little effort and a bit more time, it could be something great.