Stop Sh*tting Yourself: 15 Life Lessons That Might Help You Calm The F*ck Down

by Sam Delaney

Sam Delaney is no stranger to overdoing it. Working a high-pressure job and fuelled on nothing but adrenaline, drugs and a competitive streak, he often found himself feeling exhausted and suffocated by fantasies of being a 'better' man. He always felt a pressure to be strong but sensitive, fun but intellectual, a dedicated father but an elite professional - the list goes on. But what if there was another way? What if trying to be the perfect version of himself was doing him more harm than good?

In Stop Sh*tting Yourself, Sam dissects our obsession around hyper-productivity and high-performance living and - with his trademark straight-talking charm - offers a much-needed alternative perspective. Drawing on amusing anecdotes from his own life, he argues for the importance of sitting around in your pants doing nothing, taking working life with a pinch of salt, putting those impossible standards for yourself in the bin and focussing on the day-to-day things that make you content.

Learn why consistency isn't what it's built up to be; how process is the enemy of boring; that male friendships in particular should be rooted in fun, not competitiveness; and why self-acceptance always trumps self-improvement.

After all, there's no point sh*tting yourself over nothing.

288 pages, Hardcover

Published June 3, 2025

Reviews

[Tommy Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

He’s right, let’s all calm the fuck down. Genuinely helpful and very funny.

[Joe O'Donnell · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of the advice dispensed in “Stop Sh*tting Yourself” – Sam Delaney’s latest self-help manual for blokes – isn’t hugely revelatory or earth-shattering, and could probably be filed under the category of ‘Common Sense’ (if that term hadn’t already been so degraded by right-wing bores and tabloid columnist culture warriors). And there are large sections here that are a lightly disguised rethread of Delaney’s previous book on anxious masculinity (even including some of the very same anecdotes).

But what is refreshing here is that, in attempting to tackle the roots of male anxiety, Sam Delaney takes a commendable stand against the new fad of ‘high performance’, and the kind of relentless, unthinking productivity and robotic self-optimisation touted by the current wave of techbros and influencers. This isn’t so much a denunciation of late capitalism on his part (the uber-laddish Delaney would give such a description the skunk-eye), but it is a welcome celebration of the value of ‘slacking off’ instead of dumb productivity.

What “Stop Sh*tting Yourself” lacks in radical originality is made up for by Sam Delaney’s chummy, likeable presence. Certainly, compared to desiccated productivity bores like Jack Humphrey – to say nothing of misogy-fascists like Andrew Tate - there are far worse figures that young men could be getting advice from than Sam Delaney.

[Tony Fitzpatrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Self help book aimed at workaholic, status conscious men, from an author that has experienced addiction, mental illness and low self esteem. Over 15 chapters it explores different aspects of "men having to prove themselves" and basically encourages them to look at the bigger picture, and relate to what is really important (friends, family, peace). Enjoyable read, although terribly repetitive (as most such books tend to be).

[Lewis Skinner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not into mental health type books like this but I bought this because I’m a fan of Sam and TFTM and love the anecdotes and his writing but I did genuinely find this helpful and I’d like to thing I’ve actually learned quite a bit about myself and how to just enjoy life more so a big thank you to Sam on that part.

It’s a great book and I’d recommend picking it up.

TTFN

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent way to look at life and all its problems, love the comedy in the book! nice touch

[Holly Hartley · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF