The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse

by Debbie Mirza

Genres: Self Help

226 pages, Hardcover

Published September 17, 2024

About the author

Debbie Mirza is a best-selling author, restorative coach, and singer/songwriter.
She is the author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse, Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing after Narcissistic Abuse, and The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation.

In addition to her books, she has created helpful resources for people who have been through relationships with covert narcissists such as online courses, guided meditations, and an informational YouTube channel.

Debbie looks forward to writing more books and creating more projects that will help people heal and be able to see the truth of their own magnificence.

Debbie’s books, music, and resources can all be found on her website, https://debbiemirza.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/debmirza
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debbiemirzac...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debbiemirza/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@debbiemirza1744

Reviews

[Suzanne Borgeson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got so many great nuggets of info reading this e-book that I bought a copy of the book to keep (and read again).

[Peter Narloch · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was looking for more info NPD behavior to others besides spouse. Book focuses spouse primarily which is well done

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful things, but overall felt like there was not really much consideration for people who had a parent vs a romantic relationship. It was mentioned like “this was my experience but it’s applicable to everyone” but it’s actually not. It felt like there was no thought about using the harshest language possible and the cognitive dissonance that would bring for someone struggling to accept or understand finding this out about a parent. This book doesn’t really apply if the Covid narcissist you know was a parent. There’s so much that talks about a timeline of meeting them and before you knew them and sex with them, there’s one chapter about parents but I felt it sparse and lacking. And then the rest of the stuff she’s using terms that are so harsh: evil, psychopath, they never loved you, all this stuff that I think she needs to hold onto to validate her experience but that’s not what I was needing. It felt intense in a way that wasn’t helpful. Also she recommends things without understanding the full range of possibility outside her own experience. I watched the documentary Holy Hell at the book’s suggestion and was incredibly triggered. I joined an online forum/support group at the book’s suggestion and it’s been also triggering. Glad she wrote it but seems like she shouldn’t assume everything is interchangeable. This is a book for people who were in a romantic relationship with a covert narcissist and nothing else. Hard read. The book is also peppered (dedication, afterword, in the chapters) with how great a mom she had and how she showed her what unconditional love is, etc. lol

[Mimi Gillespie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book. A few chapters in, I would've settled for liking it. This book is a must-read if you are into stories of people growing weary of trying to make their marriages work for decades and then being labeled as "covert narcissists" once they decide to leave, despite having never shown any clinically narcissistic traits. I have read many popular psychology and self-help books, but this is unfortunately a hard pass. It was bad enough that I returned it.

[Kathryn Cannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book. I started by highlighting what felt validating to me…and I quickly realized I’d highlight the entire book. I had no idea I had been married to a covert narcissist until a trusted counselor and friend suggested this book to me.

[Adrian · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIGHLY RECOMMEND