Constituent Service

Third District

by John Scalzi, Amber Benson (Narrator)

The aliens are here . . . and they want municipal services!

Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District—the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself.

And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.

It's Parks and Recreation meets the Federation of Planets in this fast and funny audio exclusive by Hugo Award winner and Audible best seller John Scalzi.

Genres: Audiobook, Science Fiction, Fiction, Humor, Fantasy, Novella, Short Stories

3 pages, Audible Audio

First published October 3, 2024

About the author

John Scalzi, having declared his absolute boredom with biographies, disappeared in a puff of glitter and lilac scent.

(If you want to contact John, using the mail function here is a really bad way to do it. Go to his site and use the contact information you find there.)

Reviews

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I'm not really a huge Scalzi fan (beyond the first two Old Man's War books), but this slowly grew on me. It tries a bit too much to be cute and I found the dialogue somewhat cloying, but the mix of oddly intriguing alien characters and a mystery that's as inventive as it is silly ultimately proved fairly amusing.

[MagretFume · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, funny and cute, with surprisingly good world building for a novella.

[Krystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story so out there it’s endearing with absurd moments that I could only laugh and get lost in the fun of it all. Scalzi’s style is easy like pulling a trap door and sliding right inside the story. Amber Benson’s narration was an excellent fit.

Sewers, hornet creatures, a rogue chicken, and karaoke night might sound random, but it’s all part of the job for the Third District’s newest community liaison. Meet Ashley Perrin, she’s ready to dive in and serve the alien laden citizenry. Does she have any idea what she’s signed up for? No. Is that going to stop her? Also no.

I’m hoping this isn’t a one off as I would hit play on another Third District story in a heartbeat because I wouldn’t miss seeing what hijinks this bunch gets up to next.

If you go for serious Sci-Fi you’re in the wrong place, but if you’re looking for an alien story that’s funny, fluffy, and far out this might be a perfect fit.

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Constituent Service
By John Scalzi
This is a fun read about a woman working in a Constituent Service office, better known as the complaint department. It doesn't tell the reader what city but tells us it's the Third District.
She is the only human there. Everyone else is an alien. There is a collection of various creatures and different complaints she tries to help with. It was a fantasy story that kept me entertained.

[Girish · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Scalzi will have you believe that the most effective way to sell a weird plot is to act as if nothing is weird about it. Imagine a human joining a constituent services division - except she is the only human in the office filled with aliens. Not just that, the entire constituency is filled with people from different planets and she goes Karoake with them.

The first day of Ashley as she deals with queries and complaints throws at us one weird thing after another - a complaint about the loud noise of another community's parade, sewer system blockage, illegal pets etc which are carried through humor. Except when more such plots come together to an exciting "save the day" story line that is in equal parts amusing and weird.

I loved the almost jigsaw puzzle of the storyline that reminded me of HHGTG. The tone of humor is slightly different though from Douglas adams and here there is more of the play with ideas that is enjoyable. Also, aliens having metamorphosis - amazing imagination. The friends circle of different species of aliens was a bit underexplored - as if, if this works a series can be made.

Loved this light read.

[H (trying to keep up with GR friends) Balikov · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine that Earth’s humans now share that planet with many alien species. Actually, you don’t have to imagine it, John Scalzi has done that for you. Scalzi imagines a planet that has many species living side by side and have similar joys and gripes.

In one particular city (not identified), the gripes are often handled by a department know as Constituent Services. We follow Ashley Perrin, a new and young hire as the community services liaison for the city's Third District. The office is populated by a variety of species, and we are told that “in the Third District, humans are in the minority.”

This is Ashley’s first week on the job and we follow along as she deals with several species’ complaints and requests for help. In order to get along with her office mates, she also has to agree to go to an after-work dive bar and perform karaoke.

All of this is a pleasant romp that allows Scalzi to do a great job of imagining how human foibles, wants and desires are reflected in alien species. Nothing too serious here, but Scalzi’s ability to tell an engaging story comes through.

As I understand it, the only way this novella is currently available is through Audible.
3.5*

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audible audio
----

3.5 stars 🌟 🤩 ✨️

This was different and fun, wouldn't mind seeing more of this world.

I would recommend not reading reviews before diving in 👍🏼

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this story because it was free fellow Scalzi non-lovers (yes yes, we know, we have Despicable Book Taste™) mention in their review they sort of enjoyed it. So did I. Sort of.

Yes, it's entertaining enough, but it takes ages for the story to get somewhere, and by the time you get to the interesting part, it ends 🙄. But I guess that's the issue with some short stories. Life sucks and stuff.

Anyhoo, this is a just-another-day-at-the-office kind of story, only that 99.99% of the office workers are aliens (if very human-sounding ones). The MC is a fresh-out-of-school municipal liaison who has to deal with lots of colorful characters non-humans, cute exotic pets with, um, interesting life cycles, and poo aplenty. (I'm really disappointed she didn't come across my boyfriend Lhiewyn during one of her trips to the sewers. Now that would have made the story a lot more exciting!)

Add to that corny dialogues, light everything (that's not necessarily bad but a little substance never hurt anyone), a chicken with seemingly suicidal tendencies, lots of Nickelback shout-outs (don't ask), and you get...a story I'm not exactly excited about.



P.S. I didn't particularly like the narrator, but that's only because I'm a total snob who favors British accents over American ones 😬.

[Rian *fire and books* · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m completely serious, this needs to be a series. Nothing intense, but just cute little snapshots of a few days in these characters lives as they deal with fun municipal problems.

[Brok3n · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun free fluff

Constituent Service: A Third District Story by John Scalzi is a bit of fluff. It is not Serious Literature and doesn't pretend to be. It's just a bit of fun to keep you company on your next long drive or constitutional. It's an audible.com original. At the time of writing it was available only in audiobook format, free with audible.com membership, and it's only two and a half hours long, and Scalzi is a known quantity, so really, this was a no-brainer for me.

And it was Good! Ashley is fresh out of school and takes a job as Community Liaison for The Third District, the City's only majority nonhuman district. The City, never named, is an Earth City, and the story takes place in some future time when, apparently, interstellar commerce is a thing and many aliens live on Earth. The world-building is sketchy, and that's OK, because it's not really the point. It is just an excuse to dream up office colleagues who have tentacles instead of hands, and to force our hero Ashley to confront life-threatening municipal sewer problems requiring creative solutions.

The truth is that the aliens are not very alien. Physically they are very different from the human form, but in fact their conversations and motivations will be familiar to anyone who has worked in an office.

So, yeah, it was fun. I recommend it. Scalzi can be fun, and he made me laugh. Narrator Amber Benson does a good job with it. I particularly enjoyed her flat-toned reading of Lore (sp?), Ashley's only human office-mate. The subtitle suggests that we'll see (or hear) more stories about the Third District, and I'm up for it!

Blog review.

[David Holmes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This audio novella is very classic Scalzi wacky humor, done better than his average comedy, and narrated fantastically.

It's actually an indirect sequel to Scalzi's 2010 short story An Election, but beyond describing Constituent Service as "A Third District Story" (the setting of An Election) he seems to be making almost no note of that fact, probably due to the unfortunate freak intersection between that story and an ongoing racist narrative of the 2024 election, which is probably the right thing to do on his part.

There's no need at all to read An Election to enjoy Constituent Service. It's free for Audible subscribers, so if you subscribe to Audible, I highly recommend it if you enjoy Scalzi's brand of humor at all, or if you just want an amusing lighthearted humorous diversion to listen to on your commute.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

30 Books in 30 Days, Vol. 5
Book 25/30

This is a very silly and gross sci-fi novella about Ashley, who is on her first day of a new job as a community liaison for the third district of some unknown American city in the future, where apparently many species of aliens now cohabitate with humans. The third district is the only one in the city where humans are the minority. My favorite parts of this were the office workers "solving problems" for the constituents of the district (broken sewers, alien pets being neglected, unreasonable complaints, scammers, etc.), and would definitely read sequels if they were just that. Dinging half a star for not being that into the main plot. Amber Benson's narration was also very fun.

[3.5 stars, rounded up because it was fun]

[Natalie aka Tannat · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

It was okay, but a little too twee for my current mood, and I didn't love the narrator.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun, fast, and funny novella about a young woman who gets a job handling the complaint desk in a heavily alien populated district of an unnamed large city. Ashley Perrin has just graduated from college and must be amazed that just a few days later there's a very nice painting of her wearing a scuba suit and holding a chicken on the cover of a John Scalzi book. She does have nice looking hair, though it would be creepy to say that you want to touch it. Some of the citizens she helps navigate their municipal services are pictured behind her, and if the pages could make noise, you'd hear Nickelback playing in the background. As Bob Barker told us, spay or neuter your pets. What more could you need to know?

[☕️Kimberly (Caffeinated Reviewer) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s Ashley Perrin’s first day at the council offices in a district that has more aliens than humans. If you love the Parks and Recreation television sitcom, you’ll slip right into this tale. Scalzi has fun sharing Ashley’s days as she handles complaints, goes in the field with animal control and deals with the inhabitants of her community and office.

I laughed and throughly enjoyed this story from the chicken to the sewers mishaps and killer hornets. Ashley handles things with stride determined to outlast the last human who held her position. The world is wacky and delightful. Even if it’s far-fetched, Scalzi made it all feel real. Seeing how Ashley tackles one issue after the other, sometimes with disastrous consequences, left me wanting more stories from the Third District.

If you’ve never tried Scalzi’s brand of fantasy, I highly encourage you to listen to Consituent Service. Amber Benson does a wonderful job with all the characters as she brought the story to life.

This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer

[Rob · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a fine story with the typical Scalzi humor. It may be that later entries in this series (assuming it continues) will be a bit better without needing to take up so much time world building. The world building would have been fine for a longer story, but it felt like the story took too long to get started.

Audiobook: The audio is fantastic. Amber Benson does a fantastic job with a variety of voices. As this is currently the only way to consume this story, it's a nice benefit to get such excellent narration.

[Kaia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. The audiobook narration is definitely top notch, and the story is okay. I enjoyed the second half better than the first. Definitely light with typical Scalzi humor.

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This audio-only novella is light and quirky. Our young heroine, Ashley, gets a job in a government municipal services office. It’s in an area somewhere by the East Coast that is mostly inhabited by aliens, and Ashley is one of the few humans in the story. She is patient and understanding no matter how ridiculous the concerns of the residents, going above and beyond to offer excellent customer service. This aspect very much reminded me of Tom Stranger.

The aliens are so well done; Scalzi is great at inventing unique aliens. The seemingly disparate customer complaints end up connected in the end, which was clever.

I wish GR would stop counting an hour of audio as one page!



Amber Benson’s narration is excellent. I was a bit concerned because I DNF’d a different book that she narrated, but possibly it was the book was bad rather than her.

Language: Occasional strong language
Sexual Content: References to animals mating; sex shop mentioned
Violence/Gore: Minimal violence; some grossness (sewage, mild body horror)
Harm to Animals: alien equivalent of a puppy mill; chicken kidnapped
Harm to Children: None
Other (Triggers): inappropriate behavior

[Faith · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is really stupid, and the narrator is so annoying I can't even describe the awfulness of the experience.

[Natalie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

November 2024
Audible audiobook
1h 40m (1.5x speed)

This was a fun one. Short, but had a bit of everything. As soon as one problem falls into place, the rest became clear. Spider dogs that sounded a mix of cute and gross, hornets and a con artist with a chicken. Wouldn't mind more of this one. It was fun and the office staff was entertaining. Plus, there is still an owed karaoke song.

[gee ☽ (IG: momoxshi) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm thinking if this is a bit misleading... it makes it sound like manning a service desk (for aliens, not humans apparently) actually sounds fun.

[Chloe Winter · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - a silly goofy little read - and my first ever audiobook (although it was only 3 hrs long). I listened to this on a run and stayed amused! It’s not too deep and meaningful though (but in a fun way)

[Joe Silber · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a cute, entertaining audio-only Scalzi novella that ticks most of the usual Scalzi boxes for such works: a "high concept" plot idea, lots of dialogue, minimal descriptions, pop culture references and humor, likeable but forgettable characters. A popcorn read, basically. This one is set in a future in which aliens live among humans on earth (aliens serving as an exaggerated metaphor for foreign cultures, I suppose) and our main character Ashley is just starting a job working for a councilman in a city which is "human-minority" (i.e. lots of aliens) as a constituent representative - answering people's concerns and complaints. What starts as a light workday comedy gradually shifts into a (slightly silly) mystery and Ashley must work quickly to save the city from a most unusual threat.

What I thought was most impressive was how Scalzi wove a bunch of seemingly unrelated incidents into a (fairly) unified whole by the end; almost everything was relevant, no matter how weird. In some ways, it reminded me of his "Dispatcher" audio series, though MUCH MUCH lighter in tone.
In any case, it's free if you have an audible subscription and worth a listen if you want something easy and fun.

[Whitney (SecretSauceofStorycraft) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun quick 2hr listen! 🎧

[Christopher · Rating 2 out of 5]

An attempt at a Sci-Fi Parks & Rec.

Scalzi's 2024 audio-novella "Constituent Service" is peak Scalzi. Twee millennial dialogue, banal setting, a bit too much pseudo-SF bloat for such a short work that nevertheless remains entertaining despite its underdevelopment and cringe-inducing white-savior trappings. The story follows Ashley, a recent do-gooder college graduate who starts her job as a community liaison for the alien-majority Third District.

Her job is to handle bizarre constituent complaints, from noisy alien parades to dangerous alien hornets threatening the city (and an EXTENDED discussion of alien spider-dog feces). Her mostly alien co-workers are reliably "quirky," and Ashley quickly discovers a threat to the city that only the power of BUREACRACY can solve!

The story feels like a late-episode SNL skit where every alien constituent asks Ashely if they can "touch her hair." The first time, it generated a chuckle, not so much by the fourth iteration. Ultimately, that's what "Constituent Service" is, an almost amusing premise that is entertaining enough to not be *bad* but too underdeveloped and twee to be *good.*

[Karen A. Wyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many of Scalzi's characters sound the same. Fortunately for me, I enjoy the way they talk, which helped me enjoy this book. He also not infrequently includes highly resourceful characters, which I also enjoy, and he does it again here.

[Lisa Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific, funny Audible Original short story about a civil servant just doing her best to serve her district's constituents -- human and extraterrestrial alike. Excellent narration by Amber Benson!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Scalzi at his silliest. Quick easy listen

[Ruth Mathison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute, fun, and quick audible. Light-hearted. I enjoyed it.

[Soo · Rating 4 out of 5]

2024/10/07 Notes:

Currently on Audible Plus

Recommended for those who want an entertaining short. Totally fits (cause aliens) the Spooktober theme.

One of the best narrations I've heard done by Amber Benson. 👌