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Demons Five, Exorcists Nothing: A Fable

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Coming from the Academy award-winning screenwriter and bestselling author of The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty's newest creation is no demon from beyond, but a mere mortal Hollywood screenwriter caught in his own private hell. A scathing modern fable that chronicles the descent of an acclaimed auteur to a rung above has-been rings startlingly, wickedly true.
Jason Hazzard was once known as a serious heavyweight in Hollywood, respected for his intellect and skill with a pen. Now a victim of a series of flops, he finds himself best known for being the husband of his glamorous, successful wife, a woman with the a point name of Sprightly God. Like Robert Altman's film The Player, Demons Five, Exorcists Nothing wittily, deliciously exposes a bizarre world, its moguls, its players, as Blatty weaves the story of Hazzard's attempts to turn his bummed life and career around.
Drawing on - but of course not replicating - his own experiences in Hollywood during the writing and filming of such acclaimed movies as The Exorcist, The Ninth Configuration and What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?, Blatty takes no prisoners in this realistic fable of towering ambition, cross and double-cross, and the rule of the rubber fist in the iron glove.

192 pages, Hardcover

First published September 17, 1996

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About the author

William Peter Blatty

42 books1,383 followers
William Peter Blatty was an American writer and filmmaker. He wrote the novel The Exorcist (1971) and the subsequent screenplay version for which he won an Academy Award. Born and raised in New York City, Blatty received his bachelor's degree in English from the Georgetown University in 1950, and his master's degree in English literature from the George Washington University in 1954. He also wrote and directed the sequel "The Exorcist III". Some of his other notable works are the novels Elsewhere (2009), Dimiter (2010) and Crazy (2010).
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
Profile Image for Robert Beveridge.
2,402 reviews200 followers
January 22, 2008
William Peter Blatty, Demons Five, Exorcists Nothing (Donald I. Fine, 1996)

William Peter Blatty, the guy who made being a priest and a novelist cool years before Andrew Greeley, released two of the outright finest novels of the seventies, The Exorcist and Twinkle, Twinkle, Killer Kane, both of which were made into equally excellent movies. Demons Five, Exorcists Nothing is, according to the jacket, loosely based on Blatty's travails in getting those two films (and a third, What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?, a light sixties comedy probably best forgotten) made. What it actually is is a painful showcase of how far the mighty can fall.

DFEN is like being in a therapy session with a crashing bore who thinks that the best way to get your attention is to name-drop, and who is so self-absorbed that he believes talking about himself is all anyone will care about. And I could say that it's a mark of Blatty's writing ability that his narrator is so loathsome. But when the character is too loathsome for the reader to continue reading the book, has the writer accomplished anything? Not by my measuring stick. I'm sure there were some witty jabs at Hollywood here, but they passed me by, I find Americans' obsession with the inner workings of Hollywood about as confusing as I find the British obsession with the Royal Family, and about as useful. This one's for the bonfire. (zero)
Profile Image for Jason.
Author 3 books5 followers
June 12, 2018
This is a gem that no one that I recommend it to has even heard of, let alone read. A comedy masterpiece from an author known for his horror novels, I read this book in a day. I couldn't put it down. I love when an artist can poke fun at themselves, and if you've read The Exorcist or seen the movie, then you'll appreciate this. Everything that made that book and film a hit is lampooned here by their creator, and it's a laugh riot.
Profile Image for itchy.
2,975 reviews33 followers
October 5, 2024
eponymous-ey sentence:
p108: "...Dancing exorcists and demons!..."

le mot juste:
p133: The twenty-foot-long white Mercedes limousine with the blackout windows and FLAUNT IT license plates crept moodily in Friday night traffic en route to the pagodas and movie star footsteps-in-cement of the Hollywood Chinese Theater and the long-awaited world premiere of The Satanist.

I kept mistaking the novel for a non fictional account until I encounter hilarious parts.
Profile Image for Beth.
19 reviews1 follower
September 10, 2016
One of the oddest books I've read. I picked it up not expecting a satirical comedy but was oddly pleased. Yes it's true that all the characters are caricatures and lack depth, but I don't think the story would work any other way. All in all, a fun, quick read with some fun references to The Exorcist thrown in there.
Profile Image for Ridge Cresswell.
Author 2 books
March 8, 2019
Absolutely ridiculous. A fun and mostly entertaining book, but sometime so laden with old Hollywood references and business jokes that it’s hard to decode. Clearly Blatty was poking fun at himself here, and it’s nice to see that. A quick read and worth it, but not super memorable.
Profile Image for Amanda Hewitt.
25 reviews2 followers
July 18, 2018
Appreciated the humor, not exactly a Blatty book I'm used to reading. May he RIP. 😔😢
Profile Image for Ralph.
89 reviews4 followers
March 13, 2017
Not a horror story like I thought, but still very readable.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews

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