This Monster of Mine

This Monster of Mine #1

by Shalini Abeysekara

AN INSTANT #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

She knows the taste of death. He’ll stoke her hunger for it.

Sarai doesn’t know why someone tried to kill her four years ago, but she does know that her case was closed without justice. Hellbent on vengeance, she returns to the scene of the crime as a Petitor, a prosecutor who can magically detect lies, and is assigned to work with Tetrarch Kadra. Ice-cold and perennially sadistic, Kadra is the most vicious of the four judges who rule the land—and the prime suspect in a string of deaths identical to Sarai’s attempted murder.
 
Certain of his guilt, Sarai begins a double solving cases with Kadra by day and plotting his ruin by night. But Kadra is charming and there’s something alluring about the wrath he wields against the city’s corruption. So when the evidence she finds embroils her in a deadly political battle, Sarai must also fight against her attraction to Kadra—because despite his growing hold on her heart, his voice matches the only memory she has of her assailant…
 
A dazzling Ancient Rome-inspired romantasy debut, This Monster of Mine is a bloodbath of manipulation, deception, and forbidden love.
 

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Romantasy, Mystery, Fantasy Romance, Adult, Magic

412 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2025

About the author

Shalini Abeysekara (she/her/hers) is the #1 Sunday Times bestselling author of This Monster of Mine. As a former corporate lawyer, she enjoys using fantasy to interrogate reality, exploring monstrosity—perceived and real—and centering neurodivergent women of colour reckoning with themselves and their place in a world that tells them they’re too much and not enough. She is passionate about demystifying traditional publishing for all writers. When not writing, she games her life away and tries to make the perfect entremet. Most days though, she can’t believe she's an adult, and hope you don’t either.

Her debut dark fantasy romance, This Monster of Mine, is an Ancient Rome-inspired bloodbath of manipulation, deception, and forbidden love. A second novel will follow in 2026.

Follow her @shalini.writes on IG/Tiktok to be the first to hear about promotions and more!

Reviews

[Emmy Rosam · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Ancient Rome inspired fantasy with a unique Judge X Prosecutor dynamic where the FMC (our prosecutor) is trying to uncover a murder mystery and our MMC (the judge) is both the number 1 suspect AND a potential love interest? Say less 🙂‍↕️ (I read this book in 1 sitting.)

Not a standalone apparently but it definitely reads like one so if you don’t like cliff hanger endings this one is for you.

[Samantha (ladybug.books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

This Monster of Mine has an intriguing premise, but many of these interesting concepts and characters were underdeveloped and relied on tired cliches in the romantasy genre. The mystery surrounding Sarai’s attack had me just interested enough to want to see how everything played out. Unfortunately, I can't say that I enjoyed the reading experience.

The world-building in this book involves a lot of interesting ideas that are poorly delivered. A lot of world-specific terminology is delivered at once, creating a disorienting reading experience. Specific, small details are overexplained while the broad picture of the empire—its history, politics, religion, etc.— is left largely undeveloped. Yes, these small details mostly become plot-relevant. However, without a strong basis for the world, a lot of the events in the story feel hollow.

The magic is underutilized and underexplained. We barely see that characters use any of the many runes that are hinted at throughout the story. The magic we did see felt disconnected and inconsistent. Some of the rules to the magic Sarai uses daily contradict themselves. I think the story would have benefited from having a more limited magic system.

The characters were another area of the story that felt frustratingly underdeveloped. I enjoyed Sarai’s arc of feminine rage and vengeance. However, her motivation and attitude towards other characters felt contradictory at times. Kadra’s character doesn't go beyond a cliche dark, bad-boy, overpowered fantasy love interest. I would have loved to see more from his character, but Sarai was too busy going in circles trying to hate him despite all the evidence pointing to him being a good guy. Cisuré’s character was comically over the top. I understand the idea behind her character, but her behavior was so on the nose that it made her friendship with Sarai completely unbelievable.

The reveal around the suspicious Petitor deaths was, honestly, kind of boring. The guilty party could not have been more obvious, and I found their motivation disappointingly unoriginal. Especially because there is so much potential with the magic and the politics in this world. Sarai spends more time jumping to the wrong conclusions about Kadra than she does paying attention to the very obviously shady stuff happening around her.

Despite this being a romantasy book, I have very little to say about the actual romance. Somehow, there managed to be both too much and not enough romance in this story. The lack of tension and build-up between the two characters made the romantic scenes abrupt. It's insta-lust without a compelling romance.

Nothing about This Monster of Mine is fully developed, resulting in a mediocre, unsatisfying reading experience.

Thank you Union Square & Co for the eARC

Links to my TikTok | Instagram

[Lia Carstairs · Rating 4 out of 5]

(4.5⭐)

"It is difficult to have to convince others of your humanity. Not just being human but being... worthy of all the accoutrements of humanity."

no words, im in love. (also maybe just totally obsessed with Sarai and Kadra)

okay but seriously i could not stop reading?? i was reading two books at the same time at first and then it just became me completely abandoning my other read BECAUSE I HAD TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?? I WAS HOOKED. and im happy to say my suspicions 15% in on who was the culprit(s) were correct!! proud moment🙂‍↕️

the magic system & worldbuilding had me completely at its mercy because i just adored it so much!! the relationship between Tetrarchs and Petitors was so interesting?? and how the author wrote the justice system and its flaws within this book hit so hard to real life... truly the amount of lines & scenes i highlighted that were so real (unfortunately🥲). but i love the way the author handled it and seeing Sarai fight against the corrupted system !! it was so well written.

which let me talk about my new fav FMC, Sarai!! I ADORE THIS GIRL HELLO?? her anger and need for justice was so understandable and genuinely every time she was told "stop digging into the past and let it go it's over"... oh my blood boiled like?? insane telling someone who was assaulted and thrown off a tower years ago and now currently doesnt remember how it happened to LET IT GO?? please the way i felt so murderous towards that person😭 literally hated them from the first scene, the amount of times they pissed me off!!!. but anyways back to Sarai! i love how real she felt. was she terrified each time she discovered something and realized just how serious the whole situation was? yes. (and wow did she go through a lot in her investigation) but she still pushed through even when nearly everyone was out to get her and it became more than just finding out the truth about what happened 4 years ago, but also seeking justice for the others who have been killed in similar ways. her defiance towards who wanted to silence her!! from the bribes to the torture and she never gave in, i love her. the way she would constantly stand up for others, especially those who nobody else would stand up for??🥺 oh and every time Sarai got a panic attack, my heart broke I just wanted to give her a hug😭 she seriously deserves all the love in the world.

AND KADRA?? THE MAN THAT HE IS I LOVE HIM. he's so sweet, ruthless, silly, funny, fair and did i mention ruthless?? that moment he had that abusive murderer burned alive!! we love to see it!! and when he murders for her >>> love him. he is also just a literal walking green flag. the way he pushed Sarai to trust her instincts and had complete trust in decisions she made. when he'd be there for her panic attacks and helped her breathe and would hold her?? and how Kadra just KNEW the effect he had on her every time he was wearing that damn robe😭 please i was laughing so much. also he really just pushed her so much to grow, but also i love how he made her worse in terms of ruthlessness LOL meanwhile Sarai made Kadra better, so it all worked out😁

the romance was such a slow burn and i was absolutely here for it. like i am not exaggerating on how slow it is which btw honestly the marketing for this being a romantasy doesnt match up imo. it's definitely more of a fantasy with a romance subplot (my fav). there was so much pining though omg?? genuinely was just yelling at those goofballs to kiss already!!! but there were SO many scenes that had me giggling and kicking my feet i am so obsessed with Sarai and Kadra🥹 and can i just say it was absolutely hilarious seeing how much a mood Sarai was when she was trying to fight her attraction towards Kadra?? my fav was during a storm when she wanted a bolt of lightning to strike her so she'd stopped thinking about Kadra please😭 also just the way Sarai felt completely safe with Kadra aka the man she was investigating as a potential murderer when never has she felt safe before in someone's arms??? be still my heart- (i also just couldnt stop looking back at that one fanart commissioned by the artist ugh i love it)

the side characters were also so well written because seriously the way i wanted to murder so many characters???? i genuinely was losing my MIND i hate them so much. meanwhile i need to give a shoutout to Gaius, Telmar, Anek, and Cassandane!! while they may have no appeared too much (id say Gaius appeared the most), i adore them all and i really hope we get to see more of these characters in book 2!

oh and in terms of the mystery surrounding what happened in the prologue--i may have guessed who the culprit(s) was but the way it happened??? i didnt expect that for sure omg and its so insane but makes so much more sense now. and that ending??? that almost scared me😭 it wasnt a cliffhanger and i know this is a duology but had i not known that, honestly this couldve worked out as a standalone. but! there was something at the end that i can see why thered be another book and im so curious👀

overall, this was a brilliant debut! the only reason im giving 4.5 is that im not exactly getting that feeling of '5 stars i am obsessed with this story!!!!' HOWEVER i am still absolutely obsessed with the characters and had so much fun, it seriously deserves all the love! definitely recommend, and im super excited to see where book 2 leads to.


Many thanks to Union Square & Co for sending me an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!

[Phoebe ❀ ✩ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely phenomenal and exactly what I've been craving. It is based on Ancient Rome and I loved the political intrigue, romance, and the plot kept me on my toes. Not to mention, the justice system is so fascinating and expertly done in the story.

The book follows Sarai, who has magical abilities that, among other things, make her able to detect lies. She went to the Southern city 4 years ago and was nearly killed in circumstances that she has little memory of - mutilated and then thrown off of a tower that left her permanently scarred. Seeking justice and explanations for what happened to her, she goes back to the city as a Petitor, who work as prosecutors for the Tetrarchs (judges).

Coincidentally also starting 4 years ago, Petitor candidates began committing suicide in skyrocketing numbers. Some years, the entire graduating classes have ended their lives or fled. Perilous few remain alive, and no one knows why. Sarai is determined that she will live... but are the suicides really suicides?

Sarai is assigned to Tetrarch Kadra, who has a reputation for brutality. His voice is familiar, all of the dead petitors were seen in his quarter before they died-- all signs point to him being the one who tried to kill her. Sarai moves into Kadra's tower as they work together, and I instantly fell in love with those two. Sarai is convinced he was her attacker, but can't resist his allure. Their dynamic is beyond electric and tension sizzles in every scene. Kadra is everything I love in a male character, especially a love interest. The romance in this book is top notch.

I cannot recommend this book enough - it has that perfect balance of a captivating, twisty plot and impeccable romance. Sarai is such a compelling and complex character. I already want to reread this!! Thank you so much to Union Square and NetGalley for this ARC! 📚

[✨sofia✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now playing ~~
𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧
ʰᵘⁿᵗʳ/ˣ
0:08—♥︎———————-2:53
“𝓈ℴ 𝓈𝓌ℯℯ𝓉, 𝓈ℴ ℯ𝒶𝓈𝓎 ℴ𝓃 𝓉𝒽ℯ ℯ𝓎ℯ𝓈
𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝒹ℯℴ𝓊𝓈 ℴ𝓃 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒹ℯ
𝓌𝒽ℴ𝓁ℯ 𝓁𝒾𝒻ℯ 𝓈𝓅𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾ℯ𝓈，
𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝒹ℯ
𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝓃𝒾𝒸ℯ 𝓉𝓇𝓎
𝒾’𝓂 ’𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝓉ℴ 𝓈𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓈ℯ 𝓋𝒾𝒷ℯ𝓈，
𝒾 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 ℴ𝓅ℯ𝓃ℯ𝒹 𝓂𝓎 ℯ𝓎ℯ𝓈
𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ 𝓉ℴ 𝓀𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒾𝓃𝓉ℴ 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉“

5 stars!!

”Nothing changes, because they don’t change. They don’t answer to anyone, but we bow to them. We’re afraid so we bow and force everyone else to bow…Damn them all.”

Holy frick
I’m actually speechless.
This book has left me in shambles. I literally have no idea what to do with my life now.
From the moment I picked up this book at random (bc of its GORGEOUS cover) I knew it would be good. The premise was too intriguing for me to miss. And while I was scared that it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, especially as a debut from an author I never heard of before, I can proudly say that all of my hopes and dreams were answered.
This book had everything I wanted. A strong fmc, a hot mmc, an intriguing plot, tension filled romance, and an added bonus of female rage and defying a corrupted government. It really brought to light some of the horrible things that still happen today, but more on that later.
I’ll try to make this spoiler free, but be warned. If you’re stopping here, please put this on ur tbr asap <3

Read if you like~
➵ one-sided enemies to lovers
➵ feminine rage
➵ satisfying revenge
➵ slow burn
➵ falls for the “villain”
➵ morally grey mmc
➵ he sees her scars

🫂 Characters 🫂
⤷they were all perfect

🥀 Sarai 🥀
⤷i absolutely loved her

“I just want to give,” she said quietly, watching rain punch the ground. “Taking is inevitable in life. But I’d like to give more than I receive.”

Sarai was an fmc that I won’t soon forget. Her backstory was absolutely heartbreaking, and she couldn’t catch a freaking break. She has gone through so many hardships but keeps on going. She always spoke her mind and didn’t care about the consequences—she knew what was right, and what was wrong. There was a ruthlessness in her that I admired, but she never let it fully consume her. She wasn’t afraid to act against cowardice and evil. All of her choices made perfect sense to me. But ultimately, her story is one about healing. And sometimes, that means making the people who hurt you pay. Love her sm

⚡️Kadra⚡️
⤷holy scrum

”I belong to you,” he whispered against her hair. “I will always belong to you.”

MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNN
Oh my good golly this man
He’s like a real morally grey man. Think Deadpool, in a way, but without the sarcasm and humor. He knows what’s right, and isn’t afraid to cross moral boundaries and do what is necessary to see it through. All he did was care for the ones around him and make sure everyone had a good life. He was so dark and broody but so, so hot. His jealousy and all that with her was soooo scrum. He had me blushing and giggling throughout the book. In the next one though I need him to be chasing her and talking about his love for her more. Uhg I love him. Also I like NEED his pov

⚔️Others⚔️
⤷Anek was one of my fav characters. I love how neutral genders were perceived and I overall loved their character.
⤷Harion SUCKSSSS
⤷Tullus and Aelius are…well, you’ll find out. I just hope they rot in hell <3
⤷Cassandane is chill I like her
⤷Gaius and Cato were great
⤷Cisuré confused me so much. Like hunny…you are not a girls girl (I want to say so much more but uhggggg no spoiler review)

💕Romance💕
⤷*manically starts laughing*

”Kadra, you only see me as a tool.”
“Never,” he grit out, and she stilled. The icy intensity of the world told her that he’d tried to relegate her to that role. That he’d failed. “Not once.”

OH MY GODDDDDD
Actually tho it was so good. Reminding yall that is a subplot, but when I tell you it was damn WORTH IT. There is one spicy scene and uhggggggg I think I read it like ten times (don’t judge me) and when he saw her scars AHHHHHHH I CANTTTT
Honestly though their relationship went way deeper than physical attraction. They slowly grew to respect eachother and from the beginning butted heads instead of agreeing, but it made them all the more understanding.
Also when she had her panic attack and he was there??? Kill me now.

🌄 Plot/Setting/Writing 🌄
⤷perfection

”We’re only people,” he said with a wry smile. “With far too much power.”

That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is what politicians and people in power refuse to see today. They. Are. Just. People. This book so perfectly showed the damage of corruption from money and cruelty. Because, if nothing happens, we will turn out like the innocent people who died in this book because of someone’s foolish greed. Broken and left for dead, with no justice or regret for what was done to us.

”Justice was a game of who could tell the better story in court and pay off iudices and vigiles.”

PLOT
⤷absolutely amazing. The whole murder mystery type thing was done to perfection. The magic system and everything was rlly cool. And, as stated before, the government was portrayed very, very accurately to ours today. And if it gets this bad in a book, just imagine what could happen now. Anyway dark thoughts aside lmao it was really well done. Also it was like soooooo gory I loved it.

”Justice was a mirage, a game of lies and platitudes played by politicians who ensured they weren’t held to the same standards as the populace.”

SETTING
⤷really cool and I loved it so much, only thing that would make it better is a map.

”Just because these gods-obsessed men created the rules, doesn’t mean they should be above them.”

WRITING
⤷actually rlly good and I only marked two grammar mistakes!! It takes a sec to get used to but once I did I thought it was perfect.

✍️ Quotes ✍️

⤷ ”Sarai faced the winding road through the Arsamean mountains. Somewhere, hundreds of miles away, was the monster who had thrown her off a tower.
“I’m coming for you,” she whispered.”

⤷ “Resolve burned in her chest. Four years ago, someone in this city had wanted her dead.
And by all the gods, she was going to make them pay.”

⤷ “You don’t have to become a monster in order to punish one.”

⤷ “Most people fear the dark for what it hides. It’s a rare man who avoids daylight.”

⤷ “The law is a game the powerless play and lose.”

⤷ “It is difficult to have to convince others of your humanity.” She stared at her shaking fingers on the railing, inches from his. “Not just being human but being…worthy of all the accoutrements of humanity.”

⤷ “Something quiet and lethal burned in his eyes. “Choose me.” His voice was rough, jaw tensed like he hadn’t wanted to say it. As if she hadn’t given him a choice but to say it.”

⤷ “I didn’t want a Petitor,” he said slowly, and the words didn’t cut. Not when she’d already lost so much. “I wanted you.”

⤷ “That must be so easy for a man to say. Powerful people like you have always made people like me lace ourselves subservient personalities in order to survive. Then you blame us when they become a second skin.”

⤷ “His mad eyes seemed to ask if there was anything wrong with anger.
“Most would say there is. It swallows you whole if you stare too long at it.”

⤷ “Perhaps, just perhaps, in their equally closed-off ways, they both cared too much.”

⤷ “There was nothing sweeter than oblivion in a world this ugly.”

⤷ “Is it really right to coddle a child and assure them that the world is theirs for the taking, only for reality to push them into despair later on? Wouldn’t it be kinder to equip them with the tools to navigate reality from the outset, even if that means opening their eyes to its grimness?”

⤷ “But she didn’t break. She couldn’t. She was the Sidran Tower Girl and the Petitor to the maddest man in all Edessa. Nothing could break her. So she didn’t scream, and breathed through the pain.”

✨Overall✨
⤷this book was phenomenal. It held so many lessons and inner meanings, it’s def a fav of the year. I’m so excited for the sequel, I’m curious to see how it’ll play out. In the meantime, READ THIS BOOK!!! I promise you, it’s so worth it. Enjoy my loves <3

~you don’t bend. you’d rather break~

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5****

One to look out for in 2025! This book was so amazing that I might need to also purchase the hardcover when it comes out.

This was a brutal fantasy set in an Ancient Rome inspired world.

Sarai was brutally almost killed four years ago at the prestigious Academie - she does not remember who hurt her, but she does vow to go back to get her revenge.

When the opportunity arises, she is able to go back to the place and investigate and seek her vengeance.

Tetrarch Kadra is a dark and broody “Ruler” of Edessa (there are four Rulers), known for his cruelty and bloodshed.

Their paths obviously intertwine and the rest of the book goes from there.

I loved all the scenes with Sarai and Kadra and their interactions- the dance of it. It was alluring.
Sarai is also one of the best multifaceted Female Characters I have read, who will stay with me.

The author does so well delving into the politics of her world and the magic system is not hard to follow at all.

As a big fan or ancient history, I also l enjoyed reading the use of items used in the Ancient Roman world.

Altogether I really enjoyed this book and it will stay on my mind. … I just wish I realised the glossary was at the end of the book instead of me typing separate Notes (doh!)

Thank you to Netgalley for the E-Arc!

[purlpur · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
вау, цей прекрасний дебют відчувався як ковток свіжого повітря. я давно так не захоплювалась похмурою атмосферою вигаданого всесвіту і цікавим сюжетом. це щось на кшталт юридичної драми в фентезійному світі із магією та любовною складовою 😏

що по тропах:
⚖️ світ із вайбами стародавнього риму
⚖️ політичні інтриги та власна система правосуддя
⚖️ цікава система магії з рунами
⚖️ таємничі вбивства
⚖️ справжні від ворогів до закоханих
⚖️ морально сірий чгг/справедлива жгг
⚖️ іскристий slow burn із гаряченьким фіналом 😈

персонажі мені теж сподобались.
сараі - дівчина, яку 4 роки тому намагалися жорстоко вбити і яка дивом вижила, але через травму не пам'ятає усіх подій. аби дізнатись правду, вона повертається до столиці в ролі петитора (аля прокурор), яка за допомогою своїх магічних здібностей може виявляти брехню.
мені імпонують травмовані героїні, які піднімають голову і наполегливістю вигризають своє місце в тому жорстокому світі. сараі уся така зла, рішуча і прагне помсти, але разом з цим справедливість для неї не пустий звук. а шрами, яких вона соромиться і приховує, тільки додають їй шарму 😌

кадра - наймолодший з чотирьох тетрархів (аля суддів), які правлять країною. має безжалісну та жорстоку репутацію серед своїх ворогів, але водночас неупереджений та справедливий, через що прихильників в нього теж не мало. і звичайно що до цього блискавичного дедді (він буквально володіє блискавкою. привіт, вайолет 🤭) призначають петитора сараі 😈

ух їх хімія така смачна. так, лл більшу частину книгу фоном йде, але ось ці моменти мовчазних поглядів, перепалок, жартів, ревнощів приковують увагу одразу. а коли він нарешті вперше побачив її шрами.. оу май, що той чоловік робив, я розтанула на місці 🫠

сам сюжет мене захопив з перших сторінок. було цікаво розбиратись в світоустрої, ієрархії, як працює магія та руни (цих деталей насправді хотілося більше), спостерігати за розгортанням політичних інтриг. плюс тут, як і в житті, показують сувору реальність системи правосуддя і як нею маніпулюють люди при владі.
останні 20% так взагалі дуже насичені на події і яка там драаама. навіть богів завезли в сюжет на 5хв. все як я люблю 😮‍💨

другорядні персонажі теж непогано розкриті, деяких дуже яскраво вдається ненавидіти 🌚
зняла пів бала за передбачуваного антагоніста. з цим моментом книга не відчувалась як справжня п'ятірка, але все рівно заокруглю 😅

ще не знаю про що буде друга книга, тому що перша відчувається логічно завершеною, хоч і є невеличка затравочка на майбутнє в останньому розділі. але я точно буду її читати, знайомство з авторкою пройшло успішно 😎

[sakurablossom95 · Rating 3 out of 5]

This just wasn’t my cup of tea and honestly…. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up on my own if it hadn’t been speculated as a pick for one of my book subscriptions. That said, I really wanted to love it..

It had so many of my favourite tropes like a slow burn, tension, and a VERY angry, complex MFC (my weakness). But then... enter the overused shadow/lightening daddy. You know the one. He’s everywhere in romantasy these days, and unfortunately, this book took that as a trope without adding anything unique to the character for me.

Now, to be fair…I did enjoy several parts of the story. The political intrigue was juicy, the plot had solid momentum, and the characters were compelling.. The mystery elements and plot twists were definite highlights for me.

However, I struggled a bit with the writing style and overall pacing. It’s hard to explain, but something about it didn’t click with me. And the magic system? It left me feeling a bit lost as some parts weren’t really explained.

Also, let’s talk about the romance. Going in, I expected romantasy, but it read more like a dark fantasy murder mystery with a sprinkle of romantasy towards the end not a bad thing in itself, just not what I was expecting since the tags showed that.

One thing I did appreciate was the way the book talked about real-life themes, especially its commentary on the justice system and how it often favors the rich and powerful.

Thank you to Union Square & Co. for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Jodie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡. 𝐇𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭."

Ok, I've officially got a new favourite read of this year.

Once I started reading, I just couldn't stop. I had to know what happened next!

This book has everything you could want. Political shenanigans, brutal deaths, betrayal, mysteries to solve, an intriguing plot with a complex magic system, and a slow burn (enemies to lovers) romance. It's based on ancient Rome, but I would say it's relevant to us even now with the current state of the world and corrupt leaders.
The book definitely makes a statement.

The book is about Sarai, who almost died a few years ago by the hand of a stranger. Four years later, she gets the chance to return to the capital where she suffered the brutal attack that almost left her for dead, and she is out for revenge. She becomes a petitor (sort of like a prosecutor) and is assigned to a Tettach (judge) who is surrounded by bad rumours. He is not only suspected to have a hand in the killings of recent petitors, but Sarai also recognises his voice from the incident from four years ago...

I honestly cannot say enough positive things about this book. I loved the political intrigue, the banter and how the plot unfolded. Both main leads are likeable, well fleshed out characters with personality and depth. I'm sure you'll come to love them just as I did.

Lastly, a big thank you to Netgalley for allowing me access to the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. 💜
I cannot wait to read the second book! So glad this is a duology!!

[Allison E · Rating 1 out of 5]

I already suffered through reading this monster of mine and I don’t really feel like suffering through writing a review of it. So I’ll try to be brief.

Plot: Girl goes to a city and gets tortured and thrown off a tower. Girl returns 4 years later after like, shitty magical facial reconstructive surgery? to work in the government’s law system because she can magically tell when people are lying. Girl has secondary agenda. Find her (attempted) killer. Girl gets assigned to work for a sexy judge man with lightening powers. She 100% thinks he’s the killer bc she recognizes his sexy voice from the Night of The Crime. Is he her killer ?!? Or is he just Sexy man !! Who is to say.

The things I did not like
- the two main characters
- the romance between the two main characters, lust forward and with what posible rationale? why does this man even like her? what is special about her? what even is the man’s own personality I couldn’t tell you
- the lack of any and all consistent magic system
- actual plot holes, I don’t ever notice plot holes, I did here
- clunky world building, did not realize this was roman inspired until 30% in, that might be on me though
- the most annoyingly convenient things occurring to move the plot forward, see: characters are dumb below
- everyone is actually an idiot, these people are supposed to be the elite, the smartest etc, they are not
- the “best friend” character, why, why, why. h88 her and the direction her character went throughout the entire book and especially at the end
- the dialogue, I have an annotation that says “it was going fine until the characters starting talking, and also thinking in general”
- the reveal of the evil characters, be so fr
- the love interest wears what I pictured as a fluffy bath robe for 50% of this book, chest is revealed a lot, the FMC notices, a lot
- the most annoying use of the memory loss trope that made no sense, albeit I am not a brain trauma specialist
- over the top violence, for why
- what was this book trying to say? like what was the message? we got a dollop of commentary on Capitalism and Corruption is Bad but I am really not sure on the rest
- the entire god of death subplot
- TWO hug to blacks (not fade to black, hug to black)

Things I liked
- the concept
- sometimes it was funny
- the writing is not actually that bad, it’s quite readable

1.5 stars

[Anna Makowska · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was eagerly anticipating this release since I've seen the author's pitch on reddit ages ago. Enemies to lovers romantasy with forced proximity, murder mystery and bigger political conspiracy in the background? Sign me up. And I must admit, it delivered - the tension, the mounting dread, the plot twists... After 60% I couldn't put the book down and while I usually read a chapter per day, I stayed late at night to finish this. I think it benefitted from being positioned as adult rather than upper YA. Not only do we get an extended spicy scene, but the ruthlessness of the world feels more realistic and palpable with kid's gloves off.

There is HEA to the romance for the romantasy readers out there, but a slightly bittersweet tone to the ending overall, which matches the dark, oppressive and corrupt world created. I swear I would not be happy if we got a neat bowtie ending (cough, Winter's Orbit).

The protagonist, Sarai, once tried to escape poverty and get to an elite mage academy in the capital - she nearly got murdered. Now, older, scarred, with amnesia, ptsd and permanent disability in the form of hand tremor, she tries to seek truth and justice while getting embroiled in a big conspiracy underpinning power plays in the big city.

I liked how representation was done: except Sarai's disability and darker skin colour, we also have a non-binary side character (Anek), a gay side character (Cato) and a lesbian side character (Cassadane).

The romance leaned towards the slow burn side. While there were glimpses of attraction from the get go, it avoided the common problem of characters being smitten too easily and forgetting themselves too quickly. I liked how Sarai reminded herself "he's only nice because he wants to sway me to his side" or "so what he's handsome, he could have been the man who tried to kill me". I haven't seen this trope done well since I've read The Cruel Prince. Protagonists too often forget they should not trust the love interest in enemies-to-lovers plots.

However I'd say it was a bit one-sided enemies to lovers. Sarai suspected Kadra, but Kadra held no enmity towards Sarai and was overly nice to her for a supposed monster and sadist. The worst one could attribute to him was treating people as pawns but that's different from treating them as enemies.

I wish the enmity / suspicion was stronger and suspicions towards Kadra having more hints. As is, it was too obvious he didn't do it and he's not the bad guy. I even suspected he was nice to Sarai because he knew / suspected all along she's the tower girl, but alas, he didn't?

I also wish we didn't have a strong divide between who's sexist and classist and who isn't. The best villain is the one you'd never suspect, the wolf in sheep's clothing.

What I truly appreciated is a portrayal of a messy friendship with all its consequences. I miss this dearly in fantasy. Friends are usually idealized ride-or-die people who are more understanding and supportive than a blood family. It was truly heartbreaking to see Sarai have nobody else to turn to and confide in Cisure, while Cisure had a worldview of a person blind to their own privilege and spinning Sarai's suffering to be all about how it was unpleasant for her.

The writing was very efficient in conveying what needed to be said in short amount of words. The dialogues were snappy and to the point. The revelations were acknowledged quickly (I hate nothing more than a character monologuing for paragraphs to convey they finally figured the plot twist out). The descriptions were brief but vivid. Especially when it comes to all the gore, corpses, and mc's ptsd descriptions, they were sufficiently unsettling without falling into gratuitous.

One little mannerism annoyed me and that was how in scenes with Sarai and Cisure the phrase "the other girl" was overused.

Oh, and also the cringe post-sex-scene lines like "good girl" and "you came" joke. For a book this dark and serious it felt like taken from some light-hearted tik tok romantasy.

I really enjoyed the worldbuilding, the magic system with runes, the take on religion, the social system that's theoretically a democracy but actually has a lot of corruption and nepotism. The themes of class injustice and how the rich avoid the law while the poor suffer were extremely strong and very important in this day and age. I feel too many fantasy novels draw the lines of discrimination based on race, having magic, or being a fantasy creature, and not enough of them focus on class divide and discrimination of poor people.

I like how the cover references kintsugi technique which symbolizes Sarai's scars, and that she's stronger and more beautiful due to what she's been through. I usually prefer character(s)'s portraits on the cover, but I've read opinions that an "average reader" defaults to picking covers with white people which disadvantages books with POC characters. From this perspective, maybe it's better to see a marble hand than a portrait of a brown-skinned girl on the cover. Even though I love unashamed portrayals of all races and cultures in fantasy. We need to celebrate them more.

I'm slightly disappointed though the scene the author posted on the social media with Sarai holding a dagger against Kadra doesn't seem to be taken from the book. I'd love me some good "knife to the throat" scene. However, there was plenty of "female rage" nonetheless and despite the claim Sarai is a "quiet girl" she was plenty proactive. I wouldn't call her quiet, more like not having much expectations from life and others. What can I say, jaded, cynical and a bit bitter protagonists are my favourite.

This was an extremely strong debut, well-written, well-plotted, with characters you either love or love to hate. Here's to my 2025 reads staying as strong for the rest of the year.

Thank you Netgalley, and Hodder & Stoughton / Hodderscape for the ARC!

[Nicole is Reading Fantasy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite read of 2025! There’s mystery, magic, revenge, secrets, betrayal, love - all the ingredients to a refreshing read that has a bit more depth to it than your average Romantasy. This Monster of Mine is a beautifully written, unique story in the fantasy romance genre, featuring complex, morally-gray characters and a plot that instantly pulls you in.

The plot:
Set in an Ancient Rome inspired world and judicial system with magic, this story follows Sarai, an 18 year old barmaid, who grew up as an orphan and has been wronged by the system her whole life. After she was brutally attacked and almost murdered 4 years ago on a night she no longer remembers, she seeks justice in a world that is designed against delivering justice for its victims. She begins working in the judicial system as a Petitor, serving as a magical human lie detector in court, underneath the morally gray Tetrarch, Kadra. Known for his ruthlessness, Kadra is deemed a monster amongst his fellow Tetrarchs and Petitors. Sarai suspects Kadra may have been involved in her crime 4 years ago, but together they slowly bond over enacting justice on the fringes of the law. When Sarai and Kadra uncover a series of killings with striking similarities to Sarai’s attempted murder, Sarai begins piecing together her memories, while unraveling the lies she’s been told about the law, justice, and even the gods.

The romance:
The romance in this book is a subplot and it is a true slow burn. The love story doesn’t rely on insta-love or lust, but instead, focuses on character development and emotional depth between its two characters, resulting in genuine, palpable chemistry. When they finally come together in the end, it feels organic and well-earned, and while the burn was slow, it was absolutely worth it 🔥

While this series is a duology, if you don’t like cliffhangers, rest-assured that this book wraps up nicely at the end and could be read as a standalone. Nevertheless, I’m eagerly awaiting book 2.

[Salima || salimateez · Rating 5 out of 5]

RTC. Wow!!!

It's been 48 hours and I genuinely still don't have words for how much I adore this book! I was wary going into it because it was marketed as a spicy romantasy (literally the other end of the spectrum of what I like to read) but my GOD is that an a simplification of what it is! This book was such a brilliant example of plot, character work, relationship arcs, plot twists, high stakes- literally everything that you want to make a book good, this executed it brilliantly. It had mystery, conspiracy, social commentary, yearning and pining and angst, and so much buildup followed by just as much payoff! The pacing of this book- I really cannot get past how well it was paced and how that laid such a solid foundation for all the messy personal stuff to come down on and build up from.

There is so much trust in the reader going into the first few chapters- we aren't bogged down by info-dumping so it's a little overwhelming and I was confused about the hierarchy and the magic for a few chapters but it's a very smooth transition into it, and I absolutely loved that the pacing (once again) of the story allowed the reader to gently ease into the world. The magic is so bloody cool- the lightening, the healing, the way healing was a double-edged ability that could also be used to hurt?? And the different skills (?) it took to execute both sides of the magic was such an interesting idea, particularly the way it played into our main character's development and character arc. I like the idea of Ancient Rome and it's so interesting to me so that was a big bonus going into it- that being said, I actually don't know much about it let alone the legal side of that society, so getting to read this was so interesting and felt very novel. I think it holds a different appeal to someone who is familiar with the inspiration (they'll be able to appreciate the similarities/deviations) and someone who isn't (it was like a whole new world opened up, and I was gripped!).
There was a lot of social commentary, both subtle and overt, and I'm not usually a fan of the in-your-face commentary, it usually feels clunky and like it was just dumped in the middle of an otherwise flowing scene. That is NOT the case here. I absolutely loved the way Shalini inserted little quips and comments from both the main and side characters on the flaws of their society and laws etc. in a way that made perfect sense in context and also harked to real-life concerns. It felt completely organic, and I found myself aggressively annotating in the margins of those scenes about how much I loved it! One of my absolute favourite bits of dialogue is when Sarai is being told to stop talking about disparity and poverty and she retorts that that is literally what her life has been and continues to be even though she's clawed her way to a higher position. I stopped reading and just, absorbed that because it's so?? It's very obvious and then she says it and you're like- yeah. Exactly. Let's not get into how much I hated her friend- from the very first page I was scribbling in the margins calling her all sorts of names because the rage that that girl incited- genuinely wanted to punch her through the page (even though I may have a tiny shred of empathy because, yeah things worked out the way they did whatever I'm still going to be a hater). I think any author who can make me despise characters to degree I did here with the bad guys deserves some sort of medal because good or bad, I care very deeply about these people. I was *almost* disappointed when the motivations of the bad guys was revealed, not for any shortcoming of the writing (that reminds phenomenal throughout- matter of fact, it gets better with every page turned) but because it was so representative of real life men in power who do all these heinous things for?? Money? Be serious. It's never a shock but also a big fat question mark when you realise that life could be rainbows and dolphins if men just didn't do what they do when they get a little bit of prestige. Anyways. This all to say that to build a whole fantasy world and have these insane plot points and red herrings and conspiracies and keep the reader LOCKED IN and still have people just be people and have that be so far from disappointing as an ending? Yeah, YEAH she did that!!!

Onto Sarai- my girl- I love that girl so freaking much she's on my list of fave FMCs ever of all time in the whole world and all the other worlds. The way she was written, with so much love and grief and anger and tentative hope and longing poured into her- it could've never been anything less than an absolute joy and pleasure to be in her head for those 400 pages and I cannot wait to be in it again for book 2! She is an incredibly complex character- she has so many warring feelings inside her, informed by her memories or lack thereof, by what people are feeding her, what she thinks the law should be, what she is told it is, and what she reluctantly realises it is. There's a bit- multiple- that says something along the lines of how the law is built to serve the rich and powerful and to keep the common people with something to do so they don't throw a fit (this is an extreme power-phrasing I can't find the line because I'm just a girl and I only tabbed the things Kadra said and I have no shame about it ANYWAYS) and it felt like a punch to the face twofold because you're being reminded that this is the truth for us, and for Sarai but she's just been violently shown it after a lifetime of relying on that very law. I felt so so so deeply for her, every moment of doubt, every time she apologised for her rage to the one person she loved most and trusted- "I just believed you" made me throw up- every time she had to drag herself back up and out of the door to do what she believed so deeply that she physically couldn't stand back from dolling it out. Of all the characters I've ever read there are few that I've identified with as much as Sarai and so seeing her become the version of herself that is able to stand in front of a whole stadium of people, bear her scars, and be vulnerable, and be okay with that because she believes in what she's doing was somewhat cathartic. Seeing her get the love she deserved, being validated for her anger and her resentment, being told that she's allowed to make mistakes and be imperfect and keep coming back and still be worth something- I will be rocking up to my therapy sessions with this book as a guideline LOL

Onto Kadra- I have so many words and so few coherent thoughts and as someone from something once said (was it Emma?) If I loved [him] less, I would be able to talk about it more. And tbf that's exactly where I'm at with this man. Exhibits A through O of me sending my friends 10 minutes voice messages just giggling and saying oh my god over and over over the course of this read is evidence of that. Everyone loves a book boyfriend who tells the girl that she's the best thing since sliced bread or since cheesecake but a man who doesn't inflate her ego for the sake of progressing the romance? A man who drills into that that he will not hold her to the same perfection she holds herself to, that she is valuable even when she makes mistakes, that she is strong, that her anger is righteous and valid and justified and that she should wield it instead of repress it???? A man who doesn't declare his intentions to avenge her but who shows her over and over again at the cost of his own security and title, a man who apologises for his faults and who promises to shield her (and then follows through- I'm convinced that if he [redacted] earlier, that shield would have still held up for as long as she needed it to to be safe argue with the damned wall!). "My Sarai" when I say that sent me spiralling, I do not exaggerate. When he said that this was all for [redacted] and then said that everyone involved, HIMSELF INCLUDED, would be [redacted] once he [redacted]. When I say I bawled I'm being painfully literal. And every. Single. Time. He lifted her chin up- particularly the time when he was all bloody- yeah, yeah, I am just a girl after all. I loved the moments where Sarai was ogling him because yeah she's strong and has stuff to do but she's also just a girl and he is a hottie of a calibre untested before now. Also I'm not fully convinced he's fully human, I'm just not. This is based on evidence but is yet to be canon.....yet being the key word.....

I also loved that the romance felt organic! It wasn't rushed or toxic or harmful, it felt real. She spent so much time being so conflicted, and the way she was allowed space and time both by the author and by Kadra to work through those doubts and prove them wrong herself!!! And then to trust him in the way she did because he had proved over and over that he was good- it's really something. I love the pacing of when they got together; that they were able to go from reluctant coworkers to allies to friends and then lovers but in a non-linear way that spoke to real connection and so much thought being put into their dynamic beyond enemies-to-lovers for the sake of it, the obvious consent (even if sometimes it wasn't verbal) in all corners of their relationship. I really hope book 2 explores more of their dynamic and doesn't fall into the trap of now that they're together all is well forever and always and all they do when they're in the same room is shag with no real development of their relationship or individual characters, which so many series do unforch :( (but I trust that she loves these characters even more than I do so I know book 2 will be phenomenal!)

There's honestly so much between these two that would require me trauma dumping to explain why I loved it so much and this is just not the place to do that LMAO but this book was healing in so many ways and forced introspection in the gentlest of ways. It felt (sans the gut wrenching angst and the unparalleled stress that rivalled the stress my anxiety causes me when I have to do a menial task) like a warm hug- one of those that doesn't end till you let go first. You can feel and see how much love and heart the author poured into these characters, this world, the pursuit of justice in all its forms here, and it honestly makes such a difference.

I also loved the side charters- every single one of the ones that weren't evil lol. They were all fleshed out without taking from the main group, they had backstories and lore and separate motivations that all fed into the plot and the way things worked out and how everyone interacted with each other. From Gaius and Anek who got more page time to the nameless people of Kadra's Quarter to the grieving families of the Petitors. They were all so very real and held their own little worlds within them I felt and saw even if they were just side characters. It's so impressive to read a book and feel like you've stepped through a portal into that world and this book did exactly that. It was honestly transportive!

I don't think I have a single complaint for this book except maybe my eye twitched a little when he said good girl- did not love that- but the girlies will eat it up so it's only half a complaint LMAO

I feel that I've written as much as I can, this book is so special to me, and I hold it so close to my heart for many reasons, but I struggle to put all those feelings into words because of how big the feelings are. I'm also so grateful that Shalini reached out because this may not have reached my radar on its own, and now that I've read it I fear my life would've been lacking a tiny bit without it.

Book 2 and the prequel NEEEEEEED to get in my hands and on my shelf IMMEDIATELY

Thank you Shalini & Hodderscape for this proof xxx

[Lochi's Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

"To the quiet but dangerous girls who seethe at injustice: may they never see us coming".

From the author note at the start to the dedication line. This book swept me away. More relevant now than ever, it's shock and awe will draw you into worldly themes. If the violence in this book unsettles you, quite frankly grow up and take a look at world issues. Shalini provides a content warning list so I don't wanna see any reviews with anyone saying they were blindsided.

For me, the genre of fantasy is a space where authors can challenge, provoke, and comment in a space that can impart lessons to readers. This book is a cautionary tale, showcasing that maybe justice isn't blind. How can we be better citizens in our daily life? Yes it's an escapism, and I hope we get some light to conquer all the darkness in book two.

This book is absolutely fire. My thanks to Shalini, Union Square & Co., and NetGalley.

Review on my Instagram.

[carthi ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

⋆˙⟡ 6 stars ˙⊹

.☘︎ ݁˖ "the law is a game the powerless play and lose."

⋆˙⟡ — incoherent review:

I COULDNT PUT THIS BOOK DOWN AT ALL. i was hooked from the very start (even if it took me a little bit of time to figure out the world building cause I'm slow like that aka didn't realize there was a glossary 🥲) and honest to god this gets full five stars for how well written and engaging the story was (and an extra .5 for not ending on a cliffhanger 🥹) the rage, the pain, the excruciating emotions this put me through is inexplicable, but oh am i so glad certain characters got what they deserved 😌✨️ i had so much fun playing detective (even if all my theories fell apart 😂) everyone pls add this to your tbrs!!! full rtc

⋆˙⟡ dates read ˙⊹
⤿ 02/02/25 - 04/02/25
⤿ 02/03/25 - 15/01/25
⤿ 16/07/25 - 16/07/25

[jenny reads a lot · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/10 recommend the audiobook!

Full RTC

Rec via Emluvsbooks on TT

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[DianaRose]

firstly, thank you to the publisher for an arc!

unfortunately, soft(?) dnf @ 31% which is very disappointing because i’ve had this arc for ages, and i had hoped to enjoy it after seeing so many fantastic reviews, but i just could not immerse myself into the story.

i see all of the reviews and feel like maybe this book was not for me at this moment in time? similar to how i feel about the raven scholar, which everyone has raved about, but i also dnf’d…

i also listened to the audio through libby!

[Ayushi (bookwormbullet) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Union Square Co. for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

THIS WAS SO GOOD! I had a little bit of a hard time understanding the politics & set up of this world at the very beginning of this book, mainly because the terminology used was a complete different fantasy language. However, once I understood how the world worked and what some of the common words / phrases meant, I was fully invested in this story. The themes of law and justice in this book were explored in such a unique matter! This book definitely includes a lot of critique and commentary at the way current justice systems are set up in the real world. I loved seeing Sarai and Kadra push back against a justice system that does not fight for the people, and bend the law in a way that truly brings equity to everyone.

And of course, we have to talk about the slowburn. Sarai and Kadra's relationship was soooo special and I found myself grinning at all of their scenes together. Seeing Sarai grapple with her inner conflict of falling for a man she suspects had something to do with her attempted murder 4 years ago was very entertaining to read about. And of course, Kadra supporting Sarai unconditionally, and truly seeing her as his equal was sooooo cute.

I highly recommend this book for readers who like legal drama (but make it fantasy), mysteries, and a sloooowburn romance between a cynical judge and his prosecutor (who suspects him of attempted murder).

Follow me on TikTok | Instagram | Twitter for more book reviews & recommendations!

[Erin (erinsreadingroom) · Rating 5 out of 5]

☆ 5 stars

"I just want to give," she said quietly, watching rain punch the ground. "Taking is inevitable in life. But I'd like to give more than I receive."

📖 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 416 pages
👤 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫: Shalini Abeysekara
🏢 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫: Hodderscape
📅 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞: 3 April 2025

What you can expect:
— Adult Dark Romantasy
— Third Person X Single POV
— Ancient Rome-Inspired
— Enemies-To-Lovers
— Morally Grey X Darkling Coded MMC
— Forced Proximity
— Feminine Rage X Vengeful FMC
— Slow Burn Romance
— Serial Killer X Murder Mystery
— Unique Magical System
— 'Burn It All Down'

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: alcoholism, bigotry, immolation, amputation, execution, sexually explicit content, depression, gaslighting, graphic violence, mutilation, PTSD, abuse and nonbinaryphobia.

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
This Monster of Mine is the first instalment in a duology by debut author Shalini Abeysekara and is a dark and deceitful tale depicting just how easy it may be to find yourself on the precipice between justice and vengeance. It was everything I was promised and even more as it reinstated the harsh reality that the cruel can wear a mask of benevolence with the promise of justice, all the while being the very poison that seeps into your world and rots it from the inside out. It was dark, gritty and utterly captivating in its horrors and promise of violence that will leave you biting your nails in apprehension. The way morality is regarded was such an eye-opening experience as it can (tragically) be reflected directly into the realities of our real lives today outside of Fiction. The complexities of our characters added so much depth to their journey as you find yourself struggling to discern truth from lie. Who are the real villains of this story, and what are their motives? The author has masterfully weaved a compelling tale steeped in greed and deceit that leaves the reader vying for a hint of the truth amongst the untrustworthy. I found This Monster of Mine to feel very well paced with its non-stop action and unrelenting progress towards unveiling the monsters determined to continue their horrific pursuits in the safety of the dark. I was utterly compelled and often found myself battling with the need to consume this bloodthirsty book in one sitting against the need to savour the story and all of its uncertainties. The world that has been curated within the pages is brutal in its entirely unforgiving and uncaring nature. Only the strongest may thrive, yet with still no guarantee of survival. This Monster of Mine is the most thought provoking book I’ve read in a very long time, and if anybody is to take a recommendation from me then please make it this one. This is not a book to be missed in 2025, nor is its upcoming sequel with details yet to be announced.

𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭:
A dark and sinister plot surrounding the suspicious deaths of a specific group of people that may hold the answers to our main character's brutal history? The male main character being the number one suspect of said deaths? An unjust judicial system that favours the elite whilst leaving the rest to suffer? Check, check and check. There is nothing better than following the journey of a woman with a single-minded path towards revenge with its interpretation of being justice. Is it revenge if the outcome can save the lives of vulnerable innocents who are otherwise doomed to fall at the hands of a monster? When those entrusted to keep you safe are the very ones to fail you at your most vulnerable.... who then gets to decide what is justice and what is revenge? This was a theme that I believe was masterfully explored as the plot progressed and the stakes only continued to grow in severity. The magical system was something that felt entirely new which made it infinitely more fun to learn about and discover further as the plot continued to progress. I was very intrigued by the notion of a professional collaboration between Petitor (prosecutor) and Tetrarch (judge) which this world finds itself reliant on to continue peace and prosperity. The way that both ultimately rely upon each other in pursuit of the truth was truly fascinating that exhibited a unique portrayal on balancing power with collaboration. This Monster of Mine showcases how easy it can be for that power balance to become corrupted as greed and self-interests begin to shifts collaboration into manipulation. Sarai knows this better than almost anybody, and it was an enlightening experience getting to follow her on her pursuit for the truth throughout the plot of this book.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬:
Sarai has swiftly found herself at the top of my favourite character list as her ruthless and unrelenting pursuit for the truth finds her on a path she least expected. After her near-death experience at the young age of fourteen has forced her into a life of poverty and servitude for a cruel man who has no qualms with making his dissent known, Sarai finds herself desperately hoping for an opportunity to escape to the capitol city in the hopes of utilising her power and training to become a Petitor. The role of a Petitor brings prestige and respect as it is a magical ability that is becoming rarer to source and thus is highly coveted. The way Sarai ruthlessly and tirelessly worked to educate herself from a young age immediately earned my respect as it made her seem significantly older than her actual age. She didn't read as what you would expect from an eighteen year old, which thinking about it, can definitely to attributed to the traumatic experience that likely forced her to grow up faster. Sarai's resilience and strength of character is unmatched as she continued to take every obstacle thrown her way in her stride, and I loved getting to cheer for this young woman determined to find the power of her voice in a world determined to silence her. Her rage and the way she began to accept her bloodthirsty desires was exhilarating as this is not a world that encourages kindness. Sarai is as morally grey and complex as they come, but in the end there's no denying that the reader will be able to understand her motivations and hope for her success regardless to how she approaches it. I loved that despite being forced to grow up faster than she should have she still possesses a youthful naivety that comes from living such a sheltered existence. There is much for her to learn within her new role and the city she now calls home, and I loved getting see Sarai acknowledge where her weaknesses lay with an unrelenting focus towards strengthening them. Her ability to adapt becomes crucial to her character as her perception of the truth is often challenged, and I had the best time getting to discover the 'monster of the dark' alongside Sarai. I've loved every moment of her development thus far, and I cannot wait to see what comes next for her character in the next book as there is much more work left to be done after that ending.

I'm not ashamed to admit that Kadra had me ensnared from his very first introduction as it becomes apparent that there is more to his character than we are initially made aware of. His complexities are vast and I genuinely struggled trying to discern if he was a character that could be trusted, or if he really was the monster that everybody else made him out to be. Thankfully for me, he turned out to be both. I cannot begin to explain the relief and joy that I felt in discovering that Kadra truly is an intended villain of this tale with it being entirely dependant on the narrative. I was worried that his 'villain era' would feel underdeveloped and inconsequential over time as often villains are made to have qualities intended to redeem them over time. The path that Kadra follows is complicated as one side of the coin views him as a fair and just leader who is doing the right thing for his people regardless of the bodies he leaves in his wake, whilst the other side views him as a monster acting upon baser instincts and being unfit for his role. There is no denying that Kadra prides himself on his honesty and ability to provide justice in whatever way he sees fit. He is a deeply loyal man that hands his trust over to very few people for valid reasons you learn over time. Kadra carries a quiet tenderness that is often reserved for his limited trusted circle and I found myself really appreciating this intimate insight into a more 'human' aspect to his character. He is still a man capable of love and loss, and I had a great time getting to see his emotional walls unravel by his fascination with a certain bloodthirsty prosecutor. His ability to emotionally remove himself from any given situation helps Kadra remain impartial, however this can often misinterpreted by his peers which further drives the narrative surrounding his thirst for violence. It becomes clear that Kadra is working towards an end goal and I really enjoyed getting to unravel that mystery over time alongside Sarai. Learning the significance of his role in the past felt very impactful and I cannot wait to see what comes next for his character in the next book.

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭:
The way our two main characters interact can only be best described as compelling and additive. A young woman on a path for justice (or vengeance based on how you interpret her motives), and the man she is forced to work alongside who may have been the match to ignite it all. The way both Kadra and Sarai bounced off of one another whilst refusing to bend nor break was both amusing and (at times) concerning. Their snarky wit and inevitable yearning left me pining for more, with my patience thankfully being rewarded near the end. It's undeniable how instantaneous their connection is however, I really appreciated the slow burn approach to their romance as This Monster of Mine is a true enemies-to-lovers that requires time to establish a believable transition. My favourite aspect to their reluctant partnership is how attuned both Kadra and Sarai become in regard to one another. Kadra is quick to evaluate his Petitor and realise that despite possessing the power of detecting a lie, she herself is holding her secrets close to her chest. Rather than demand answers Kadra instead decides to take Sarai under his tutelage and encourages the best from her in his belief of what she can offer to their city. The way he becomes so attuned to her needs and demands she takes better care of herself was swoon worthy and had me kicking my feet in response. The way Sarai begins to trust in that guidance in spite of her reservations was a huge step forward, and I loved that through time and patience both characters worked towards forging a stable partnership for the benefits of the very people they had sworn to protect. I loved how Kadra provided Sarai with a safe space to grow and learn away from prying eyes, and the way he refused to balk when she presented him with her partial truth was everything I had hoped to see and more. Having both characters as morally grey created this unique dynamic as neither were unafraid to lean into their bloodthirsty instincts and offered encouragement when needed. The utter acceptance and lack of need to change was beyond perfect to see as it's refreshing to see two characters embrace all of their faults and imperfections. The actual romance between the pair was more of a sub-plot throughout the book and slow to progress, however it made perfect sense in the way it all evolved and I cannot wait to hopefully see a little bit more from the romance side of things in book two.

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬:
Speechless is the best way to encapsulate how I felt at the end of this book. I have found myself truly in awe of This Monster of Mine to the point that I fear that I have already found my book of the year. If I can rate this book 6 stars I would. Infinity stars, even. This is the book to be topped in 2025 and I cannot wait to see what comes next in the final instalment to this duology. I'm keen to see what comes next for this story as the ending felt resolute enough to be considered a conclusion, so it was a pleasant surprise to learn that this book is only one out of a duology. This book achieved quite a lot in so little time so I'm excited learn what is left to explore.

[patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars!!

Vicious, violent and visceral, this book had my blood boiling in the best way possible. What an incredible debut! This Monster of Mine follows Sarai, a girl who had a near death experience as a teenager without closure that now works as a magical prosecutor to investigate her own attempted murder. But what happens when your prime suspect is your love interest??

Initially, it did take me a while to get into the story. I think even by the end of the novel, the terminology was still quite confusing to me until I realised there was a glossary at the back, but the strengths of the novel far outweigh the flaws. Already the prologue is incredibly dark and gruesome, throwing you into the night of Sarai’s attempted murder and wondering how we got here and who the culprit was. I had a STRONG vehemence for all the tetrarchs who were all so well written to be insufferable, manipulative and corrupt. The realistic portrayal of the corrupt justice system had my blood pressure spiking throughout the novel. Everyone was just so suspicious from the beginning and my trust issues were through the roof, though admittedly I did predict the perpetrator early on and did find it a bit predictable.

This book really TESTED me. Shalini knows how to elicit the worst emotions out of you that makes Sarai’s rage feel palpable and 100% justifiable to the audience. Trying not to name drop the main suspects, but I was a volcano about to erupt every time Cisure opened her freaking mouth. One more word from her and I was going to LOSE it. I have a lot of unpleasant words for Cisure and the rest of the side characters, but Cisure is definitely number one on the list of people I would like to burn!! She was such an insufferable gaslighter I was on the verge of tossing my kindle across the room each time she appeared.

If you think you’re having a bad day, Sarai has it a million times worse. The things that happen to her are just so terrible and brutal it is impossible to dislike her. I wanted to hug her every time something happened to her. I really liked Sarai’s character and her sense of righteousness to combat all the injustice happening so that no one ever goes through the same horrible fate like her all those years ago. Her rage is quiet and bitter yet strong enough that you feel angry with Sarai and want to root for her. She is incredibly strong despite all the horrible things she witnesses and has happened to her, which makes her desire for vengeance incredibly justifiable.

“I will ask many things of you, but I will not ask for perfection.”

I am now adding Kadra to my book bf list because that man is EVERYTHING. Sarai’s first interaction with Kadra was so electrifying I was holding my breath the entire time. He’s ruthless yet fair, cruel yet kind. Everything he says to Sarai is so sweet and his actions even sweeter, making you ponder if his feelings towards her are real or merely a façade to manipulate and use her as a pawn for control. The slow burn was perfect for me and the romance definitely contributed to my high rating for this novel! We love a morally gray man who worships and raises you on a pedestal and will absolutely kill for you.

While I couldn’t really picture the Ancient Rome setting and struggled with the terminology, I highly recommend this book for fans looking for a well written dark romance and a well told political story with a satisfying ending!

Thank you to NetGalley and Hodder and Stoughton for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Athena Freya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I AM FREAKING OUT BY HOW DELICIOUS AND AWESOME AND AMAZING THIS IS!!!!! I love the sh!!!t out of it, I am obsessed, I am Kadra's wine glass and Sarai's glower, THIS BOOK IS PHENOMENAL AND I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST ALL BRAIN CELLS AND COHERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dark romantasy perfection, people!!! YOU NEEEEEEEEEEED TO READ THIS!!!

Sarai was viciously attacked four years ago, and she doesn't know who did it or why. She vaguely remembers a beautiful voice but not much else. She was born in poverty, without education or a family. All she's ever known is despair and people telling her what she was and what she couldn't do. The world has been awful to her, and yet, she wants to help those who have suffered like her--and there are plenty of those. When given the chance, she goes to Edessa to finally get some power, some status, and some answers about what happened to her. Sarai is angry and determined, persistent and unyielding. She is a force to be reckoned with, and if I didn't hate her enemies, I would pity them because nobody stands a chance against an angry woman who has been wronged time and time again.

Kadra is the brilliant and powerful (in all ways!) Tetrarch "assigned" to Sarai when she becomes a Petitor (a kind of prosecutor whose magical power is to discern lies and truth). He is cruel and brutal, but he is also just and fair. He has a horrible reputation among his enemies and their allies, but he is revered among his people and his personnel. They literally rally around him to protect him even from a naughty Petitor lmao. I loved how they loved him because he deserves it. He puts everything in the line for them. But he has his secrets and he has done things that horrify even himself. I loved him so much! He is the consent king and such an intuitive person. He observes with his keen eyes and evaluates with his sharp mind, and did I say that he is freaking brilliant and CONSENT KING IN EVERY WAY?!?!?!?!

I love every mad and vicious inch of that man. And so will you! Sorry, Sarai, but the man is delicious!

The worldbuilding is Ancient Rome inspired, and there were some things to get used to, but I think it was portrayed very well. My brain cells were all KADRA KADRA KADRA so I had to force myself to focus on some worldbuilding things but that is def my problem lmao. I've been too obsessed with Kadra since the first scene, and well, it's his fault that he fried my brain cells. Anyway, great worldbuilding! Vivid, lush, and absolutely brutal!!!!!! Excellent pacing, as well!! I enjoyed the book's rhythm and I simply went with the flow loving every delicious second of it!

There's some spice but wayyyyy towards the end!

I've been told that this is a duology and whoa how relieved I am because holy sh!!!t I wouldn't be able to handle reality if we only had one book with them!! It's definitely a standalone, though, and it doesn't end at a cliffhanger! You only see the seeds for book 2!

COMPELLING! DELICIOUS! CONSENT KING AND ANGRY GIRL COMBO! DROP EVERYTHING AND READ THIS ASAP!!

I'LL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS BOOK!!

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down one of the best books I’ve read lately

[day · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The madman she’d set out to ruin was everything the most desperate, anguished parts of her had always craved.”

I HAVE NO WORDS. I ACTUALLY HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE UTTER AMAZINGNESS OF THIS BOOK. I could not put it down. This is my favourite read of the month. No dispute. I could read a 100 sequels and still not get enough.

🏛️ dark political adult fantasy with romance
🏛️ SLOW BURN
🏛️ female rage.
🏛️ true enemies to lovers
🏛️ serial killer murder mystery (but she’s the victim!)
🏛️ Ancient Rome-esque politics and vibes
🏛️ lie detection magic
🏛️ morally grey characters

“You don’t bend. You’d rather break, but this land needs strength like yours. I’ve waited for it for years.”

Ohhh this book was DARK. 4 years ago, Sarai was thrown off a tower. Despite being healed, Sarai retains severe scarring but no memory of what happened that night. Hellbent on revenge, she seizes the first opportunity to become a Petitor to infamously sadistic and charming Tetrarch Kadra. Trapped in political battles, she must fight her growing attraction and work alongside Kadra - her prime suspect.

The prologue already had me GAPING. It was so dark but so insanely good, and learning about how it linked to the main conflict was so interesting!! Same for the rest of the novel, I think this was so well written and fleshed out. The foreshadowing was insane and when everything started to click it was so SO satifying. No notes.

The magic system and worldbuilding had me HOOKED. I absolutely loved how the political aspects were presented to further build upon the world, and the justice system was so realistically done. I also like the concept of “stormfall”, storms in which deadly lightning often strikes people and buildings, making them reliant on religion and the Tetrarchs to save them.

THE CHARACTERS??? Sarai, our main girl, is definitely a favourite. She’s so strong and determined, and the depiction of trauma and female rage is done SO WELL. I was rooting for her at every obstacle and felt rage on her behalf. She went through so much but never gave up on herself and others. She reminds me a lot of Inej Ghafa with her resilience and intelligence!! AND KADRA???? HE is the meaning of morally grey. Yes, he’s brutal, reckless and tough, but he’s also kind, funny and honourable!! I love that he doesn’t abuse his power as Tetrarch but uses it to fight for true justice. Sarai and Kadra balance each other out so well and UGH THE SLOW BURNNN the longing looks and comforting “friendly” hugs??? Will never get enough of it.

The side characters were also so well written bc I wanted to get rid of most of them so bad 😃 we hate lying manipulators!!

If you didn’t see me say this a billion times before, I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS BOOK. I just found out this was a duology and I need it in my hands RN

Thank you to the author and Netgalley for the arc! This is my honest opinion.

[Shannon | readingwithmarlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

railroaded most of this in a single day (thank god for air travel) and am just blown away.

I had heard NOTHING about this prior to it being rumored as a Fairy Loot pick and when I was approved for an arc, I jumped at the chance. Little did I know I’d stumble into an almost 5 star read (settling on 4.5!)!!

This book had everything: a vengeful FMC, a series of mysterious deaths,truth telling magic, a broody MMC with lightning powers, politics, and a LOT of very topical political conversations about the rich vs the poor. Plus the FMC is sassy in a very relatable to me way and the MMC finds it endearing which I ALWAYS love.

I’m always on the hunt for a strong fantasy standalone and this one HIT.

Thank you to the publisher for the advanced copy! Pub day is April 1!

[Sam♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5★

"It is difficult to have to convince others of your humanity. Not just being human but being... worthy of all the accoutrements of humanity."

This Monster Of Mine , Shalini Abeysekara's debut is an absolute stunner, delivering on all fronts. The world-building is exceptional, and I'm eager to explore more of this richly crafted universe. There's immense potential for further stories set in this world, and I'd love to see what the author has in store for us next. This Monster of Mine is a masterful blend of dark adult romantasy, but please note that it deals with mature themes. Be sure to check the content warnings before diving in. I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for Shalini Abeysekara's future works!

Plot

Sarai, an 18-year-old Petitor with the power to detect lies, is driven by a thirst for vengeance. Four years ago, someone tried to take her life, and now she's determined to uncover the truth.
Assigned to work with the ruthless and enigmatic Tetrarch Kadra, Sarai is torn between two missions: solving cases with Kadra by day and plotting his downfall by night. As she gets closer to Kadra, she's drawn to his charismatic charm and unwavering passion for justice.
But with her heart torn between her desire for justice and her growing attraction to Kadra, Sarai must confront the ultimate question: can she trust the man who may hold the key to her past, or is he the very person who tried to destroy her?

"Resolve burned in her chest. Four years ago, someone in this city had wanted her dead.And by all the gods, she was going to make him pay."

Sarai

Sarai's experiences are a sobering reminder that when you think things cannot go more worse they will!!!. The brutal challenges she faces evoke a deep sense of empathy, making it impossible to dislike her. Her quiet, bitter rage is palpable, igniting a strong desire to root for her. Her anger and quest for justice are heart-wrenchingly relatable, and the frustration she faces when told to "let go" of the past is infuriating. Sarai is a masterfully crafted, complex character, torn between conflicting emotions, memories, and influences. Her journey is deeply personal, and witnessing her receive the love, validation, and acceptance she deserves is profoundly moving. Seeing her come to realize that she's allowed to make mistakes, be imperfect, and still be worthy of love and redemption is a powerful, emotional experience.

"“You have no obligation to ever forgive me,You owe me nothing.”

Kadra

Kadra has officially become my latest obsession! He's a masterfully crafted character who shows his devotion to Sarai through actions, not just words. Despite the risks to his own security and title, Kadra consistently prioritizes Sarai's well-being, apologizing for his mistakes and promising to shield her. His complex personality is utterly captivating - he's ruthless, yet sweet; silly, yet fair. The way he empowers Sarai to trust her instincts, supports her decisions, and provides comfort during her panic attacks is truly swoon-worthy. Kadra's subtle awareness of the effect he has on Sarai is hilarious, particularly when he wears that infamous robe. And let's not forget his affectionate nickname for her - "My Sarai" is the perfect touch of possessiveness and adoration. I'm completely smitten with Kadra, and I'm sure I'm not alone!

“I belong to you ,”
he whispered against her hair.
“I will always belong to you.”
And she felt the truth of it without any magic.

Sarai & Kadra

One of the standout aspects of this book is the beautifully crafted romance. It's a masterclass in organic storytelling, with a slow-burning connection that feels genuinely earned. The pacing is impeccable, allowing the characters to evolve from reluctant coworkers to allies, friends, and ultimately, lovers. The progression is non-linear, making their relationship feel authentic and rooted in real emotional connection. Kadra and Sarai's dynamic is particularly special, with a depth and nuance that goes beyond a simple "enemies-to-lovers" trope. Their interactions are infused with a sense of care, trust, and mutual respect, making their scenes together utterly captivating. I found myself grinning from ear to ear whenever they shared a moment, and their relationship is truly one of the highlights of the book. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was utterly consumed by the slow burn in this book. The tension was palpable, and I could feel my emotions simmering just below the surface. And when I say I died while reading certain, ahem, intense scenes, I mean it quite literally. My heart stopped, my breath caught, and I was utterly, completely, and totally invested in the story. It was a wild ride, and I'm still reeling from the experience!

The side characters in this book are equally impressive, with many of them inspiring intense feelings of frustration and anger (and a wish to commit murder). I found myself seething with rage at certain characters, which is a testament to the author's skill in crafting complex, believable personalities. However, there were also several side characters who stole my heart, including Gaius, Telmar, Anek, and Cassandane. Although they may not have had a huge presence in this book, I adored each of them and hope to see more of them in the next book. The author has created a rich, immersive world with a diverse cast of characters, and I'm excited to see where the story goes from here.

This debut novel is a vicious thrill ride that will leave your blood boiling. From the dark and gruesome prologue, which throws you into the night of Sarai's attempted murder, I was hooked. Initially, it took me some time to get into the story, and I found the terminology confusing - until I discovered the handy glossary at the back. However, the novel's strengths far outweigh its flaws. The realistic portrayal of a corrupt justice system had me on edge, with my trust issues in overdrive. Every character seemed suspicious, and I did predict the perpetrator early on. Nevertheless, the unique magic system, which utilizes runes to control various elements, added tension to the narrative. The world-building is exceptional, crafting a dark and perilous atmosphere where danger lurks around every corner. Overall, this book is an impressive debut, and I'm eager to see what the author has in store for us next. This book is a masterclass in storytelling, expertly weaving together a intricate plot, nuanced character development, and satisfying relationship arcs. With heart-pumping plot twists, high stakes, and a narrative that skillfully balances mystery, conspiracy, and social commentary, this novel truly has it all. The emotional depth is palpable, with yearning, pining, and angst that will keep you invested in the characters' journeys. The buildup is deliberate and expertly paced, culminating in a payoff that's both satisfying and thrilling. Overall, this book is a brilliant example of how to craft a compelling narrative that will leave readers breathless!

Overall (JUST GO AND READ IT WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DISCUSSION).

[Jessica Hayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is truly unlike anything I’ve ever read before, and I can’t believe it’s her debut novel! Abeysekara seamlessly blends an intricate, Ancient Rome-inspired judicial system with fantasy as we follow Sarai, who, at the age of fourteen, was thrown off a building and left for dead in the city where she had hoped to learn. The story picks up four years later when Sarai returns, now determined to become a Petitor (prosecutor). This gives her the perfect opportunity to investigate her own attempted murder, which had long been buried. However, things don’t go as planned when she’s assigned to Tetrach (Judge) Kadra, her prime suspect in the crime.

After reading this book, I’m eager to dive into more Ancient Rome-inspired fantasy novels. Abeysekara’s writing pulled me so deeply into this world that I felt as though I was living within its pages. Despite being just over 400 pages, the world-building is immaculate. It did take me about 15% of the book to familiarise myself with the new terms and language—though a glossary at the back of the book would have been helpful sooner—it wasn’t hard to grasp the general concepts. The relationships between each Petitor and Tetrach are fascinating, with each pairing displaying unique power dynamics that enrich the story.

A standout aspect of the book is the way Abeysekara highlights the cruel and harsh reality of the justice system, showing how it can be manipulated by those in power. This is a central theme in the novel, and it carries a powerful, important message.

The magic system, though relatively simple, is effective and impactful. Sarai has the ability to tell truth from lies, a vital skill in her world. She also trained as a healer, but after her fall, her injuries made it nearly impossible for her to continue that path. While the magic system isn’t explored in great depth, it’s still satisfying and didn't leave me wanting more.

Sarai is one of my new favourite FMCs, which surprised me given her age. Often, teenage characters (Sarai is 18) can either be too unrealistic, doing things far beyond their years, or too naive and immature. Sarai is neither of these. Driven by the rage from her near-death experience at such a young age, and the subsequent brushing aside of her attempted murder, she uses her anger as motivation to succeed. Despite growing up as a “gutter rat” with little formal education, Sarai works tirelessly to achieve her goals. She doesn’t shy away from acknowledging her own flaws and does her best to work around them. Sarai also has what some would call a 'naive' sense of justice, but her core beliefs remain steadfast as she navigates the world and that is something I deeply admire.

As for Kadra—what can I say? He had me from his first introduction. Described as a godlike figure by his supporters and a stain on the industry by half of his peers, Kadra is brutal, ruthlessly honest, fair, and loyal to those he trusts. He’s also willing to do whatever it takes to protect those he cares about, including murder and the removal of very important limbs. What I love most is that he pushes Sarai to be the best version of herself, knowing she’s exactly the kind of person the city needs. His relationship with Sarai is a slow-burn romance, written perfectly. The chemistry between them is undeniable, and even though there’s a spicy scene, it never overshadows the main plot. Kadra is also incredibly attuned to Sarai’s needs, particularly in helping her feel comfortable in her own skin, given the severity of her injuries I feel that this is so, so very important and gives the Romance and Spice an added layer.

Though I predicted the identity of the murderer, I think that was part of the author’s intention. The power imbalances and lies from those in authority make the truth fairly predictable. The theme of people staying silent out of fear of those in power is a stark reflection of our own world today.

This Monster of Mine is a phenomenal debut. I can’t express enough how much I adored this book. It’s an easy contender for my book of the year, and I’d give it infinite stars if I could!

[⚔️Caitlyn&#x1f319; · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25⭐️ this was really good! I love a standalone they just hit so well sometimes

[Veronica ☽◯☾ · Rating 5 out of 5]

➵ 4.5 ⭐️

“I wanted you when I wanted to ruin you.”

This was a fantastic, political, dark fantasy romance—I can hardly believe it's a debut!

I debated between 4 and 5 ⭐️ until the end but ultimately decided to round it up because I really have nothing to complain about and this was too good of a debut.
I can't put my finger on what was missing for me that made me debate the rating. The more I think about it the more it seems like it had to do with the romance—which was great and slow burn (nothing happened until like ~80% in) but the scenes between the MCs in the first half of the book were few and when they were together nothing was happening between them, so I think that if their moments were more intense/emotional that would've tipped the scales right away.

Not that the story wasn't emotional enough—This Monster of Mine was such a dark, angry, violent book—I loved every minute of it.
TMOM was very political, exploring themes such as corruption and justice in a world that values money more than anything else. If you're not into political fantasy this book won't be for you—don't get fooled by it being promoted as a "romantasy", this is first a fantasy and then a romance.

"Ennius, court, tonight, you throw forward in everyone's defense. But not in yours."
"Because it's irrelevant."
"Why would it be irrelevant?"
[. . .]
"It is difficult to have to convince others of your humanity." She stared at her shaking fingers on the railing, inches from his. "Not just being human but being . . . worthy of all the accoutrements of your humanity. A roof over head, fair compensation for your labor, and justice when a wrong is committed." Heat licked behind her eyes. "But so many don't believe that. And they've spent their entire lives proselytizing that people are tools to be exploited. Advocating for myself before these people," she indicated the jewel-decked attendees and shook her head, "it's impossible. You're the plaintiff, defendant, and Petitor rolled into one. They're the iudices. They conclude that you're biased, envious, and they won't believe a word. So, why lose my temper and pay the price when I could keep my head down?"
She barely kept her voice steady. "But it's easier to defend someone else. Because at least they don't have to feel like everyone is arrayed against their existence. At least, they know they've someone on their side."

I loved how dark the world was and the way it didn't shy away from murder and torture and and the grim reality of a corrupt system focused solely on profit.
I found the world building and the magic system fascinating and I think they were both well fleshed out.
I loved both MCs but especially Kadra. He's exactly the type of love interest I love to read about — morally grey anti-hero with questionable morals who does a lot of wrong things for the right reasons. He was also smart and kind and excellent at reading people. Our FMC Sarai was his balance—she made Kadra better, while he made her worse lmaoo it's a bit of a corruption arc people and I was so here for it.

Cisuré can burn in hell and that's all I'm gonna say here.

I don't wanna give away too much of the plot because the big mystery about Sarai's fall in the beginning is connected to another mystery at the core of the story so read and find out.

I want to point out that this is a duology but despite that it doesn't end on a cliffhanger. More or less what happens in TMOM is wrapped up by the end and you may think it's a standalone but it isn't. If you pay attention to the details in the last 2 chapters you'll catch the foreshadowing for the sequel. I'm super excited to see where Shalini takes the story in book 2 especially after everything that went down at the Aequitas toward the end.

Oh!! And I still haven't forgotten about that myth Cassandane told Sarai about so I'm going to impatiently await for book 2 and see if we learn more about the gods and what how that myth relates to the story.

eternal gratitude to netgalley and the publisher for the arc
all quotes are from an advance copy and may differ in the final publication

[micolreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5 ⭐

I loved this book from start to finish, it was original and well written.

My favorite part was definitely Sarai's background story, complex and so powerful at the same time. Kadra was interesting and I enjoyed reading of them together!

I have to say I loved how the whole plot turned out, I was so anxious to see what the author was going to be doing and I wasn't disappointed.

I loved the second characters (loved and hated of course) because I found them to have their own space and time, which is usually difficult to write.

Definitely look out for this book!!

Thank you netgalley for the earc!

[Mai ༊*·˚ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5.0 ★— Morally grey and enemies to lovers are trendy marketing terms thrown around for so many books these days, but too often the “enemies” in these stories end up feeling more like mildly annoyed acquaintances, and supposedly morally grey protagonists come off as edgy clichés with no real depth.

I was genuinely so happily surprise when I got deeper into this book and quickly realized how much this book absolutely did not fall under that category and how it delivered rich characters with layered, beautifully crafted relationships.

Sarai is a young woman deeply scarred — both emotionally and physically — on a night she still doesn’t properly remember, by perpetrators who were never found. Four years later, after having holed up in her hometown, she finally gets the chance to return to the city where it all happened and become a Petitor, a type of prosecutor, under the brutal Tetrach Kadra. Through that role, she gains the access she needs to investigate that fateful night.

And damn, it was so intricately written. Sarai is such a unique FMC. She’s deeply traumatized, yet driven, and holding onto this earnest kindness she’s kept for herself, even though life has beaten her down (quite literally). What I love about her is that she’s strong in a quiet, grounded way — through thoughtfulness, persistence, and sheer hard work. You see her dedication and the intelligent care she brings to everything she does.

Then she meets Tetrach Kadra, who’s the man she works for, and there’s this immediate shroud of mystery.
There’s this underlying tension between them from the very beginning; you feel it immediately, because Sarai suspects he may have been involved in what happened that night. With Kadra, you never fully know what he’s thinking — or what he knows. I loved how he carried himself with this cold, devil-may-care attitude, all while hiding deeper, more complicated layers. So often, authors try to write male love interests like this and it ends up feeling flat or cliché. But with him, that sense of the unknown stayed throughout the entire story.

I want to gush some more! About how much the slow burn burned, how beautifully the yearning was written between two people who are isolated in their own way and don’t know how to let down their walls and be soft with each other. About how tender they were, even in a book that had no qualms depicting brutality, gore, and violence. About how well-done the mystery surrounding the narrative was, and how powerfully the book explored themes of idolization, the corrupting nature of power, and the complex nature of justice.

I’m just so happy that unique books like this are finding their way to readers, that they’re being talked about online, and that they can find the audience they deserve. And I’m so happy I am now part of that audience!