The Tangled Red Thread

by Elle Cuardaigh

Born into the social experiment of closed adoption in the early 1960s, Noelle was taken home directly from the hospital at the age of three days. Her early life in rural Washington state seemed idyllic. With loving parents, two brothers, and her beloved pets, she had a childhood to be envied. But all that was ripped away, first by the violent loss of her innocence, followed by the slow death of her mother. Essentially left to raise herself, she embarks on a lifelong journey of self-discovery, guided at unexpected times by "the voice" only she can hear. Even the most mundane choices, such as where to go to college, seem to be divinely directed. Haunted by recurring loss, Noelle is determined to find her birth mother, to uncover the secrets of the feelings and visions she cannot contain or control. In surviving the breakdown of her husband and marriage, she realizes she has a psychic connection with the family she never knew, and in a series of incredible events reunites not only with them, but also eventually with her soulmate. A true account of one woman's life, existing as not one, but two one born and one adopted, and enduring the reality of not completely belonging in either world.

Genres: Nonfiction

367 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Elle was born into the social experiment known as closed adoption in the early 1960s and has dealt with the ramifications of it thereafter. She believes Socrates' famous quote: "The unexamined life is not worth living," so wrote her memoir as a life study, and as something to leave behind for her children.

Elle Cuardaigh is a nom de plume created to provide privacy for herself and her family. In day-to-day life, she is a rather boring person. It is only upon reflection that a story emerges.

Those who know her will guess her other identity by reading her book. And those who really know her will understand why she prefers to keep it private.

The Tangled Red Thread:

http://tinyurl.com/lbuxw8c

Reviews

[Jaci Presley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Cuardaigh wants one thing in life: to know who she is. She has her parents, and she knows they love her, but there's always something missing. Her search for her birth family takes her on a journey of tangled threads: the threads of her adopted family, of her married family, her birth family, and the friends she makes - and loses - along the way. "People will leave you, people will lie to you, and there's nothing you can do about it." Those words resonate from a speaker at a business seminar and soon Elle finds it is true for her life. Still, she uncovers something: a tapestry of life, of history, of birth and age, of revelations and of mysteries.
It is a 'can't put down' read. You cheer for her, hurt for her, feel anger for her. She doesn't sugar coat any of her life for the reader: this is how it is. The story was originally written for her daughters, so they would understand, but here it is for all the world: the story of a woman born of one woman and raised by another couple, a so-called closed adoption that only raised more questions than it answered. Pick it up and find out where the threads lead.

[Amy Hollingsworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Right away you get the sense that Elle Cuardaigh is a no-nonsense storyteller: she sums up her adoption with the words, “I cost $400.” And yet this economy of emotion in describing some of the most traumatic experiences of her life has the power to draw you in, take hold of you, and compel you to fill in the missing anger or grief or sadness. The reader trusts Elle, wants to see her untangle the red thread; we struggle with her, root for her, and in the end admire her. If, as she says, Nordic people consider tragedy the ultimate form of literature, then Elle is the ultimate storyteller, in recalling and redeeming a life of remarkable consequence.

[Mary Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir by Elle Cuardaigh. It could be a bit confusing at times because of the large number of people; a digital version with a search function might be helpful for reference.

The story combines resilience with tragedy as Noelle deals with adoption, abuse, and a marriage that spins out of control. Be prepared to carve out large sections of time for reading as it is very difficult to put it down once you get into it.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adoption author, Elle Cuardaigh has written a detailed account of her life as an adoptee from childhood and into adulthood. Throughout the story, events unfold which shape the person she is today. The life of adopted people is often a quest along a very tangled path, where birth and adoptive relationships weave together, and The Tangled Red Thread shows that our life stories are not simple and easily explained or understood.

Cuardaigh handles this well with both respect and honesty in her writings about her adoptive and birth family members. This is not always an easy task for a writer when trying to maintain authenticity in a personal story. Her eloquent descriptions and inclusion of everyone demonstrates how very much she cares about her people.

Without giving away any spoilers, this is a book about more than being adopted, searching and finding. This is also a family story about overcoming loss and hardship, about living with burdens no child should have to endure and inner strength, determination and gaining peace as our lives progress.

The Tangled Red Thread is an excellent choice for adoptees because we can relate to the feelings of being torn between loyalties to our adoptive and birth families. Non-adopted readers can gain lots of understanding for the complexities of most adoptee's personalities. It's also an ideal book for therapists, educators and social workers who are interested in family dynamics and grief counseling.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want to read a true story of a strong woman dealing with the sad, and sometimes, just unbelievable, things life throws at her, Elle is a fabulous story-teller. This is a heart-wrenching book, but Elle also has a sense of humor that shows up when you least expect it. Adoptees, survivors of sexual abuse, and those left behind in a family member's battle with drugs or mental illness may also be interested in this book.

Disclosure: I was paid to proofread this book. This does not influence my review, nor am I receiving any further compensation based on sales of the book.

[Trish Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

An extremely resilient woman lived this struggled life. I wanted so much for things to improve that when a few things went well I found myself breathing easy. Very good read 4.5