A Capital Calamity: A Novel

by Fred Kaplan

A CAPITAL CALAMITY – A Novel by Fred Kaplan

“Serge Willoughby just wanted to make money and have fun. He didn’t mean to start World War Three.” So begins A Capital Calamity, the rollicking debut novel by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and New York Times best-selling author Fred Kaplan.

The “War Stories” columnist for Slate, author of six books, mostly about national security (including The Insurgents, which was a N.Y. Time best-seller and a Pulitzer Prize Finalist), Kaplan draws on four decades as an insider-outsider observer in this tale of manners—both satire and thriller—about the Washington scene. (The prologue reads, “Much of what follows is true, except for the plot”), it tells the story of a cynical defense consultant whose mischief plunges the world into a cataclysmic crisis. Now, along with the CIA director (who is also a bitter ex-girlfriend), a former school chum who’s now an NSA hacker, a garrulous Wall Street tycoon-turned-secretary of defense, and a vivacious intrepid journalist (who may or may not be flirting with him for a big story), Willoughby must now end the crisis, though he has spent his life avoiding commitment to any political cause or purpose. A Capital Calamity is a funny, trenchant, deeply moral novel, in the spirit of Thank You for Smoking, Our Man in Havana, and Dr. Strangelove.

Advance praise for A Capital Calamity:

“A joyful romp! Just when we need satire more than ever, one of our best political commentators has morphed into a brilliant and irresistible comic novelist.”
JOE WEISBERG, creator of The Americans

“Fred Kaplan’s new book gives us comedy, treachery, ideas, and shrewd cultural anthropology—all against a page-turner background of the highest-stakes international showdown. It’s like the cast of Veep in a Tom Clancy book. Readers will learn a lot, and have fun while doing so.”
JAMES FALLOWS, former chief White House speechwriter, author of National Defense and other books

“Kaplan pulls back the curtain hiding how Washington really works in this only slightly exaggerated, darkly humorous look at ‘national security’ and ‘unthinkable’ nuclear war. Sometimes you can tell more truth through fiction, and this true fiction is fun.”
RICHARD A. CLARKE, former White House counterterrorism chief, author of Against All Enemies and The Scorpion’s Gate

Genres: Fiction

195 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 23, 2024

Reviews

[Michael Summers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took several graduate school classes in International Affairs and have subscribed to Foreign Affairs journal for over thirty years. I also taught high school English and literature briefly. Kaplan weaves irony and humor into a tale of how a world war might begin and expand from the perspective of an insider. Personal relationships (good, bad, evolving, romantic, and unexpected) play significant roles in the development and resolution of the story. A few loose threads and hints of mystery remain just in case Kaplan decides to write a sequel. Willoughby, the unwitting protagonist, is a jaded anti-hero with heroic potential. I enjoyed this quirky novel.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fred Kaplan is a serious journalist who has covered serious subjects like how the military-industrial complex gets us to spend insane amounts of money on nuclear weapons, how General Petraeus and other true believers led a revolution in military affairs, cyberwar, and so forth. This is a brisk, funny novel about an amoral Washington consultant who finds himself inadvertently lighting the fuse on World War III, and then haplessly attempting to snuff it out. I read it in one evening. It is obviously the book he had to write. If you're intrigued by how Washington DC really works, this is the romp for you.

[Will · Rating 1 out of 5]

So disappointing! I first heard Kaplan talk about this book on the Arms Control Wonk Podcast, where Jeffrey Lewis called it a comedy of manners set in the DC national security world—"Jane Austen meets Dr. Strangelove." I would love to read a book like that.

Obviously, Austen is a high bar, but it’s still shocking how far Kaplan misses it. The writing was clunky and full of clichés. I thought I might at least get some real insight into the DC national security scene, but the whole thing felt like a cartoon.

Now I don’t know what to make of Kaplan’s other books, which I had enjoyed before. After reading A Capital Calamity, I’m not sure I trust his judgment anymore.

[David N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, a disclaimer. I have known Fred Kaplan for almost 50 years - we were in graduate school together - and have been friends ever since. That said, I think I can be objective about this wonderful novel. It captures the craziness of the national security community and all its denizens perfectly. And I know that many in Washington will be trying to figure out who these characters are based on! The plot is delicious, the characters thoroughly enjoyable, and while it is certainly a very funny book, it also touches on some very serious underlying issues. I do hope someone makes it into a movie. Hollywood, take note!

[William Burr]

A highly entertaining and well-paced national security satire/thriller. With his years of journalistic experience and wide knowledge of nuclear weapons, intelligence, and international security issues, not to mention modern jazz and the visual arts, Fred Kaplan had great preparation for inventing his characters and their milieus. And only Kaplan could have used excerpts from declassified presidential tape recordings and transcripts to such telling effect in one of the story’s turning points. Strongly recommended.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some hilarious moments.
Page 18: [They] had never taken to intercontinental ballistic missiles; they couldn't conceive the tedium of sitting inside a concrete hole in the ground, waiting for an order to launch, pushing a button, then probably getting incinerated themselves a half-hour later when the Soviets retaliated. What kind of job was that for an Air Force officer?

Maybe you have to be in nuclear weapon world to appreciate the hilarity?
Page 50: "I believe in the necessity of a safe, secure, and reliable nuclear deterrent that is credible to our adversaries and reassuring to our allies, " Portis replied. The exchange really was like a prayer-book catechism, ...

Take that, you theoretical physicists!:
Page 63: "My father was a professor of physics at Columbia - not the 'flaky, out to lunch, loop-de-loops of six-dimensional string theory,' as he put it. ... the whole theory was impossible to verify and, therefore, by definition, it was not science."

[Dan Naturman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Breezy Fun Tale

What happens when a little-known Washington consultant inadvertently triggers an international crisis? From the Pentagon, to the White House, to a comedy club in New York, A Capital Calamity takes the reader on a suspenseful and at times quite funny ride to the brink of nuclear war, offering a fascinating look into the inner workings of the defense establishment. Youll never look at anything thd US does militarily the same way again.

[Barry Blechman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Typical of an excellent historian scholar trying his hand at fiction; dialogue is the problem. Also, in this case a wildly improbable plot and a ridiculous portrayal of highest level government decision-making.

[Shaan Shaikh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun novel with a unique plot. Kaplan knows the national security community and its quirks well, and that background shines here. Most characters (other than the protagonist) are one-dimensional, but still far better than anything written by Stavridis.

[Jgknobler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an entertaining satirical novel about the world of national security and Washington, D.C government and spy culture. Unfortunately, I was completely lost as to what the protagonist had done to potentially set off a nuclear war, which did take away from the pleasure of the read.

[Ido reads books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the most DC-core book I’ve ever read. Loved every second

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and entertaining read, with smart observations about motivated reasoning, the machinations of government, and the logic of war.

After reading, check out the Comedy Cellar's _Live from the Table_ podcast for an interview with the author by one of the real-life characters in the book.