What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?:

by Karen Johnson

Helpful, inspiring guide for mothers seeking to flourish and succeed after their kids grow up

In What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom), renowned parenting influencer Karen Johnson provides a fun, easy-to-understand, and inspiring guide for mothers currently experiencing an empty nest, or who see one on the horizon, and are looking to lead their best, most fulfilling lives and feel comfortable that they're not alone in their struggles. This book draws upon stories and experiences from Johnson and mothers around her, helping readers seek out new passions, including new career paths, to avoid feeling as if they are solely defined by motherhood.

In this book, Johnson explores topics

Taking risks, putting yourself out there, getting stronger mentally and physically, and fostering positive relationships Navigating the wondrously weird world of perimenopause and aging bodies with confidence, knowledge, and grace Working through the very real emotions of guilt, anxiety, failure, and shame that often accompany this transitory period in mothers' lives What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom) earns a well deserved spot on the bookshelves of all mothers seeking to develop individualism, mindfulness, and genuine feelings of contentment and happiness as they turn the page to the next chapter of their lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 6, 2025

About the author

Librarian Note: There are more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got an advanced copy of this book, and I took my time going through it—every single chapter made me feel seen.

At first glance, one might think this book wasn’t for me based on the title. When my child grows up, I’ll probably still be doing what I’m doing now professionally. I didn’t give up my career to become a mother. But that doesn’t matter—the book is welcoming to both those who did and those who didn’t. The biggest takeaway for me is that mothering humans is hard work. And while the world says it appreciates that, it’s not always reflected in tangible ways. We still judge mothers more harshly than fathers in the same situations. But at the core, no one judges mothers as harshly as we judge ourselves.

There are plenty of funny moments in the book, along with the honest reality that no one gets an instruction manual—because we’re all working on different “projects,” so there’s no one-size-fits-all direction. I also love that it doesn’t try to instruct you on how to parent or be better, aside from practical advice like “embrace taking naps” or “decide what makes you happy, even if it’s not what others think it should be.”

I’m planning to go back through the book in Kindle and highlight so many things that were hard to mark in my preview PDF on Box. There were a lot of gems.

Overall, I’ve always felt like I wasn’t meant for this motherhood gig. I still feel that way almost every single day. But each time I picked up this book, I was reminded that most of us are flying by the seat of our pants in one way or another.

[Lacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title on this book really drew me in, but it was more focused on figuring out what you want to do as your children are growing up not when they’re about out the door. I would’ve liked some more practical suggestions on how to find your passion when your kids leave. However, the author did a fantastic job of describing the life of a stay at home mom. I think a lot of her stuff applies to moms in general as well. She describes moms as being the “ghost parent” which is a great description of the person who gets things done, but doesn’t get any recognition. But she also had a great perspective on how the moms know all the details of their kids’ lives, so even if they feel like they’re being unseen, they are still the ones who have all the details whereas the dad doesn’t get that privilege as often. That put things into perspective for me and gave me a different outlook on my daily life.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to get an advanced copy of this book and I loved it. I’ve been following the author’s writing online for years — reading her words feels like having coffee with a good friend. Highly recommend!

[Annie Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Today’s women are telling the truth: Motherhood is hard. Harder than any of us thought. (It always has been). And some might say we’re whining. They might even say this book is whiny. But I say we’re finally being honest, and I think our grandmothers would be damn proud of us.” This book is a hilarious, vulnerable, fierce depiction of what it feels like to be in the throes of motherhood: from the bleary, lonely days of being at home with a newborn, to the tenuous teenage years. With hilarious honesty, Johnson’s book speaks to mothers at every stage. This isn’t just for parents whose kids are about to fly the nest — in fact, I wish I had this book when my own kids were small. Reading this book feels like a having a conversation with a down-to-earth mom friend who GETS IT, knows just when to make you laugh, and says just what you need to hear. Each bite-sized chapter includes funny anecdotes with meaningful, memorable takeaways, perfect for busy readers who may not be able to sit and consume something in a long stretch (although I was enjoying it so much, it only took me a couple of sittings!). Ultimately, Johnson’s book validates the roller coaster of feelings that accompany motherhood and women’s changing perceptions of themselves, and it celebrates strength, radical honesty, and self-awareness. A must-read for moms at every stage!

[Dana Kamp · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite chapters were "On Friendships" and "Make Me A Promise," but the whole book had my attention.

Karen Johnson took the mounting thoughts sooo many of us have and created a funny, honest, uplifting book to help mamas everywhere feel seen and worthy-- of a pat on the back, a guilt-free slice of cake, a mental health break, and a whole new life chapter when our homes are no longer filled with baseball cleats and field trip forms.

As we raise our babies and help them navigate the next steps in their lives, we have to figure out what comes next for us too. And Karen shares her stories and her advice on what that might look like and how in the world we might get there.

I loved her witty storytelling and hilarious honesty, but most of all, I loved the Notes at the end of each chapter that wrapped up her thoughts and then gave us actions and steps we can take instead of just preaching to go make it happen. She's one of us, and it felt like she was giving out big, warm hugs and a smack on the tush to all of us who needed a little push in the right direction.

Also, I feel like we are long-lost BFFs because I too love Friends reruns, kicking off Christmas joy November 1st, and reading deep, emotional books like The Four Winds. 😍

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Sarah Deveau · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book isn’t bad, it’s just not at a match with the title and blurb at all. 97% of the book is about being a mom in the trenches. Chapter after chapter about navigating whether you stay home or not, handling your own perfectionism, lessons for your kids on how to be good humans, body acceptance, etc.

Given the title and blurb, I was expecting a book that would explore the world mom’s face after the last one leaves the nest. How do you handle your new relationship with your adult children? How will you spend all your newfound free time (even if you worked full time while you raised kid, their leaving frees up a lot of time). What new career options might be available to you that felt unachievable if you were the default parent?

This would be a fine book for a new mom or mom in the thick of it.

[Anika · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not finish this book. I got a third of the way through and decided the title is basically clickbait. The title should be Thoughts from a 40-Something SAHM Mom. I was looking for a book that was actually about deciding what to do when you're an empty nester and have spent your life as a SAHM mom. I don't need a book trying to validate other SAHMs and find justification/purpose in the author's life decisions. This book might resonate with those who have always felt the need to justify their decision to be a SAHM/feel judged by others/suffer from toxic comparison.

[Heidi]

Unfortunately, this was a quick read. I say unfortunately, because I was hoping to get answers to the question in the title lol. In hindsight, it was probably inappropriate to expect more experience from someone who is similar enough to me. I don’t have the answers, why would Karen Johnson?

That said, I do like the book for commiserating about many many many of the same thoughts and feelings I’ve had for the last decade plus. She would be a great person to hang out with and talk about this topic. Maybe we would find the answers together.

[Angela]

DNF, but if I rated it, it'd be a 2 or 2.5. The book had almost nothing to do with the title / back cover. It's more of a memoir about motherhood (complete with stories about pet turtles!), with yer basic self-help pointers sprinkled in.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this!!!!
I loved the honesty and encouragement, and it was a quick and light read.

[Kelly Ashworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little uneven and repetitive, but the overall message resonated.