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We Should All Be Birds: A Memoir
A charming and moving debut memoir about how a man with a mystery illness saves a pigeon, and how the pigeon saves the man.
On a spring evening in Montana, Brian Buckbee encounters an injured baby pigeon. Heartbroken after the loss of the love of his life and increasingly isolated by a mysterious illness that overtook him while trekking through Asia, Brian is unaware that this bird—who he names Two-Step—will change his life. Brian takes in Two-Step, and more injured birds, eventually transforming his home into a madcap bird rehabilitation and rescue center. As Brian and Two-Step grow closer, an unexpected kinship forms. But their paths won’t converge as Two-Step heals and finds love, Brian’s condition worsens, and with his friend’s release back into the world looming closer, Brian must decide where this story leaves him.
We Should All Be Birds follows Brian, unable to read or write due to a never-ending headache, as he dictates the end of his old life—as an adventurer, an iconoclastic university instructor, and endurance athlete—through his relationship with a pigeon that comes to define his present. Limited to dictation, Brian teams up with Carol Ann Fitzgerald, an editor who channels the details of his personal history to the pages. Raw and perceptive, delirious and devastating, We Should All Be Birds is an unflinching exploration of chronic illness, grief, connection, and the spectacular beauty of the natural world—and the humble pigeon. The surprising, heartwarming relationship between man and bird provides insight into what it means to love, to suffer, and to “never forget, even for a second, how big it all is.”
On a spring evening in Montana, Brian Buckbee encounters an injured baby pigeon. Heartbroken after the loss of the love of his life and increasingly isolated by a mysterious illness that overtook him while trekking through Asia, Brian is unaware that this bird—who he names Two-Step—will change his life. Brian takes in Two-Step, and more injured birds, eventually transforming his home into a madcap bird rehabilitation and rescue center. As Brian and Two-Step grow closer, an unexpected kinship forms. But their paths won’t converge as Two-Step heals and finds love, Brian’s condition worsens, and with his friend’s release back into the world looming closer, Brian must decide where this story leaves him.
We Should All Be Birds follows Brian, unable to read or write due to a never-ending headache, as he dictates the end of his old life—as an adventurer, an iconoclastic university instructor, and endurance athlete—through his relationship with a pigeon that comes to define his present. Limited to dictation, Brian teams up with Carol Ann Fitzgerald, an editor who channels the details of his personal history to the pages. Raw and perceptive, delirious and devastating, We Should All Be Birds is an unflinching exploration of chronic illness, grief, connection, and the spectacular beauty of the natural world—and the humble pigeon. The surprising, heartwarming relationship between man and bird provides insight into what it means to love, to suffer, and to “never forget, even for a second, how big it all is.”
256 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2025
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4098 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
July 28, 2025
3.5 stars, rounded up or down based on mood.
This was one of those books I wanted to love. I first saw it on Instagram, then happened across it on NetGalley and thought, “Yes, this one.” I even gave myself a few days to finish another read and emotionally prepare for what I thought would be a devastating portrait of a monumental human-animal friendship. What I got instead was… different. Still tender, still vulnerable, but in a way that never quite aligned with its title or my expectations.
Because of the author's illness, the book is dictated, not traditionally written. As a result, the structure leans more toward a collection of short-to-medium journal-style reflections with some leaning humorous, some poignant, some loosely tethered to a central arc. There were early lines that really worked for me:
“Traffic (an invasive species).”
“Usually all I can see in the rearview mirror is his gorgeous butt…”
“CxwszA” (Two-Step’s first word—“What is he trying to say to us? What is on his mind?”)
These moments felt warm and strange in all the right ways.
In hindsight, maybe the point of these early vignettes is to establish just how grounding and essential this strange little pigeon, Two-Step, and his feathered cohorts became in Buckbee’s life after things had already taken a darker turn. So that when he finally recounts the earlier trip to Asia, which is rife with dismissive doctors, doubts from his brother, and a rescue mission led by a fiercely loyal friend, we understand what was at stake. Why survival mattered. Why it was even possible.
Still, from a narrative standpoint, the structure didn’t always work for me. The emotional thread that begins with Two-Step and the pandemic-era pigeon rescue quietly fades once the focus shifts to Buckbee’s past. I think the book would’ve been stronger had it alternated between timelines, braiding his physical and emotional collapse with the fragile new life he built with and around the birds. The title promises one thing; the latter chapters offer another.
As for Buckbee’s love story with “L.,” it’s a tricky thing. We're clearly meant to feel the weight of this relationship, but what we’re shown feels more obsessive than romantic. He refers to their friends being against the pairing when they began dating—without elaboration. He notes her leaving him, more than once, but doesn’t clarify how or why. It left me wanting closure that never came, not for him or for me as a reader.
There’s also a repeated reference to Two-Step being hit by a car (I think more than once?), but I genuinely don’t recall the story actually being told. Could be my own foggy memory (it took me ten days to read this, and I was in a bit of a personal funk) but the pacing definitely contributed.
All of that said, there are still meaningful reflections here. Loving someone (human or animal) so fiercely you’d speed 90 in a 40, or hold on until “there is nothing to do but let them go,” those moments hit. There is quiet devastation here, even if it didn’t come in the form I expected.
Would I recommend this? Not to everyone. It won’t explode onto the memoir scene, I don’t think. But it will quietly reach some people, and mean a lot to them. People who’ve lost love. People with chronic pain. People who’ve built their life around care, be it for animals, for others, for something fleeting and difficult and maybe even doomed.
Thanks to NetGalley and Tin House for this ARC.
This was one of those books I wanted to love. I first saw it on Instagram, then happened across it on NetGalley and thought, “Yes, this one.” I even gave myself a few days to finish another read and emotionally prepare for what I thought would be a devastating portrait of a monumental human-animal friendship. What I got instead was… different. Still tender, still vulnerable, but in a way that never quite aligned with its title or my expectations.
Because of the author's illness, the book is dictated, not traditionally written. As a result, the structure leans more toward a collection of short-to-medium journal-style reflections with some leaning humorous, some poignant, some loosely tethered to a central arc. There were early lines that really worked for me:
“Traffic (an invasive species).”
“Usually all I can see in the rearview mirror is his gorgeous butt…”
“CxwszA” (Two-Step’s first word—“What is he trying to say to us? What is on his mind?”)
These moments felt warm and strange in all the right ways.
In hindsight, maybe the point of these early vignettes is to establish just how grounding and essential this strange little pigeon, Two-Step, and his feathered cohorts became in Buckbee’s life after things had already taken a darker turn. So that when he finally recounts the earlier trip to Asia, which is rife with dismissive doctors, doubts from his brother, and a rescue mission led by a fiercely loyal friend, we understand what was at stake. Why survival mattered. Why it was even possible.
Still, from a narrative standpoint, the structure didn’t always work for me. The emotional thread that begins with Two-Step and the pandemic-era pigeon rescue quietly fades once the focus shifts to Buckbee’s past. I think the book would’ve been stronger had it alternated between timelines, braiding his physical and emotional collapse with the fragile new life he built with and around the birds. The title promises one thing; the latter chapters offer another.
As for Buckbee’s love story with “L.,” it’s a tricky thing. We're clearly meant to feel the weight of this relationship, but what we’re shown feels more obsessive than romantic. He refers to their friends being against the pairing when they began dating—without elaboration. He notes her leaving him, more than once, but doesn’t clarify how or why. It left me wanting closure that never came, not for him or for me as a reader.
There’s also a repeated reference to Two-Step being hit by a car (I think more than once?), but I genuinely don’t recall the story actually being told. Could be my own foggy memory (it took me ten days to read this, and I was in a bit of a personal funk) but the pacing definitely contributed.
All of that said, there are still meaningful reflections here. Loving someone (human or animal) so fiercely you’d speed 90 in a 40, or hold on until “there is nothing to do but let them go,” those moments hit. There is quiet devastation here, even if it didn’t come in the form I expected.
Would I recommend this? Not to everyone. It won’t explode onto the memoir scene, I don’t think. But it will quietly reach some people, and mean a lot to them. People who’ve lost love. People with chronic pain. People who’ve built their life around care, be it for animals, for others, for something fleeting and difficult and maybe even doomed.
Thanks to NetGalley and Tin House for this ARC.
August 7, 2025
This is a charming and poignant story about chronic illness, unlikely friendship, and a pigeon named Two Step. The author shares how his debilitating condition led to a transformative bond with a bird that landed in his hands. Brian Buckbee, incapacitated by a relentless, undiagnosed illness that leaves him in constant pain and unable to read or write, discovers an injured pigeon on a spring evening in Montana. He names the fragile creature Two Step and nurses the bird back to health by helping it with its first flights and sharing silent moments during sunrise. Through tiny rituals and wordless companionship, this bird becomes not just a companion but a witness to Buckbee’s struggles and his slow journey of rebuilding.
What struck me most was the memoir’s ability to elevate the commonplace into something sublime. While Buckbee’s condition may be rare, his experiences of grief, loneliness, and the search for meaning feel universal. His tenderness toward an overlooked pigeon serves as a metaphor for redemption and witnessing—demonstrating how being seen, even by a creature that no one else may notice, can change how we perceive ourselves. This isn't just a story about illness or sanctuary; it’s a testament to how tenderness can teach us to fly again, no matter how grounded we may feel. The author reveals what it means to persevere when your body refuses to cooperate and when the world shrinks to the confines of a single room.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...
What struck me most was the memoir’s ability to elevate the commonplace into something sublime. While Buckbee’s condition may be rare, his experiences of grief, loneliness, and the search for meaning feel universal. His tenderness toward an overlooked pigeon serves as a metaphor for redemption and witnessing—demonstrating how being seen, even by a creature that no one else may notice, can change how we perceive ourselves. This isn't just a story about illness or sanctuary; it’s a testament to how tenderness can teach us to fly again, no matter how grounded we may feel. The author reveals what it means to persevere when your body refuses to cooperate and when the world shrinks to the confines of a single room.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...
October 27, 2025
This book was a "stumble upon" choice from the new offerings at the library.
Why I should love this book:
---Title & synopsis indicate the author connects strongly with animals
---I like memoirs
---I kept pigeons!!
---Medical / science interest
Brian Buckbee suffers from ME/CFS, which is the acronym for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Research into the condition informs us that it is poorly understood, has a wide range of possible symptoms and hypothetical causes, and has no specific guidelines or tests for a definitive diagnosis nor treatment. Brian's symptoms include a never-ending headache with migraine spikes, chronic fatigue, occasional neuropathy, nausea, fever, and generalized pain. My reading and background leads me to think it is probably an autoimmune condition, but whatever, conventional medicine is not helping him. I feel sorry for the guy.
That said, I did not connect with Brian.
Unsurprisingly, Brian is severely depressed. We have no way of knowing whether it is because of his illness, or a symptom of his illness. The birds he's rescued have become his only social life, and his home is taking on an animal hoarder's quality. He is obsessed with a woman from his only serious romantic relationship, which occurred years ago, and being in therapy all these years since has not produced any identifiable steps toward emotional recovery. (Has his therapist become an enabler? Something to ponder in long-term therapy...) His parents are dead, and he isn't close to his brother, who might think his symptoms are all in his mind. So he seems to be biding time until he can't endure the pain and turns to suicide. Yes, it's mentioned. The one goal keeping him going is rehabbing the pigeons to release.
Regarding the birds, I was happy to find that he did seek veterinary care, and that he strove to house them adequately, and that his goal was to release them when able. Too often, people think they are helping wild creatures and end up doing the WRONG things. Ultimately, those creatures deserve their own lives and release should ALWAYS be the goal when possible.
Brian isn't able to read or write on his own anymore. He dictated his memoir, and it was transcribed by another writer. He rambles about the birds, his condition, his relationship with "L" (the woman), and his travels. I cannot fathom the reason this book was published. Maybe because of his previous publications? Throughout the text, he states repeatedly that the editor wanted him to write about "L" and the trip to Asia where he first experienced his malady. But why? What should the reader take from either of these experiences?
Brian's life--not just now that he's acquired a debilitating disease, but his whole life--is so far from mainstream that I found it impossible to relate to him. His travels, for example: his goals were to hang out in rain forests with the fauna, snorkel the reefs, and to have marathon-level exercise sessions in exotic locales. He spent months in Asia, ALONE, doing these things. This sounds like fantasy to me. It's one thing to do this as a vacation for a couple of weeks because you've always been interested in such things, or maybe as a vocation, studying the biology or ecology of an area, but the average person doesn't take that trip. Especially alone. It just seems so indulgent, extremist, and impractical. How does a university professor FUND such a trip?
Brian's relationship with "L" was likewise impossible to understand. She was not developed as a character, just an elusive ideal, and the only basis for being ideal seems to be that she actually did understand him, at least for a time. I got the idea that he was trying to "rescue" her, as she was grieving the loss of a child, but never intended to "release" her. Brian can't recover from "L" moving through her grief and releasing herself.
The whole story was a frustrating experience, and not recommended.
Why I should love this book:
---Title & synopsis indicate the author connects strongly with animals
---I like memoirs
---I kept pigeons!!
---Medical / science interest
Brian Buckbee suffers from ME/CFS, which is the acronym for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Research into the condition informs us that it is poorly understood, has a wide range of possible symptoms and hypothetical causes, and has no specific guidelines or tests for a definitive diagnosis nor treatment. Brian's symptoms include a never-ending headache with migraine spikes, chronic fatigue, occasional neuropathy, nausea, fever, and generalized pain. My reading and background leads me to think it is probably an autoimmune condition, but whatever, conventional medicine is not helping him. I feel sorry for the guy.
That said, I did not connect with Brian.
Unsurprisingly, Brian is severely depressed. We have no way of knowing whether it is because of his illness, or a symptom of his illness. The birds he's rescued have become his only social life, and his home is taking on an animal hoarder's quality. He is obsessed with a woman from his only serious romantic relationship, which occurred years ago, and being in therapy all these years since has not produced any identifiable steps toward emotional recovery. (Has his therapist become an enabler? Something to ponder in long-term therapy...) His parents are dead, and he isn't close to his brother, who might think his symptoms are all in his mind. So he seems to be biding time until he can't endure the pain and turns to suicide. Yes, it's mentioned. The one goal keeping him going is rehabbing the pigeons to release.
Regarding the birds, I was happy to find that he did seek veterinary care, and that he strove to house them adequately, and that his goal was to release them when able. Too often, people think they are helping wild creatures and end up doing the WRONG things. Ultimately, those creatures deserve their own lives and release should ALWAYS be the goal when possible.
Brian isn't able to read or write on his own anymore. He dictated his memoir, and it was transcribed by another writer. He rambles about the birds, his condition, his relationship with "L" (the woman), and his travels. I cannot fathom the reason this book was published. Maybe because of his previous publications? Throughout the text, he states repeatedly that the editor wanted him to write about "L" and the trip to Asia where he first experienced his malady. But why? What should the reader take from either of these experiences?
Brian's life--not just now that he's acquired a debilitating disease, but his whole life--is so far from mainstream that I found it impossible to relate to him. His travels, for example: his goals were to hang out in rain forests with the fauna, snorkel the reefs, and to have marathon-level exercise sessions in exotic locales. He spent months in Asia, ALONE, doing these things. This sounds like fantasy to me. It's one thing to do this as a vacation for a couple of weeks because you've always been interested in such things, or maybe as a vocation, studying the biology or ecology of an area, but the average person doesn't take that trip. Especially alone. It just seems so indulgent, extremist, and impractical. How does a university professor FUND such a trip?
Brian's relationship with "L" was likewise impossible to understand. She was not developed as a character, just an elusive ideal, and the only basis for being ideal seems to be that she actually did understand him, at least for a time. I got the idea that he was trying to "rescue" her, as she was grieving the loss of a child, but never intended to "release" her. Brian can't recover from "L" moving through her grief and releasing herself.
The whole story was a frustrating experience, and not recommended.
July 13, 2025
This is a beautiful story of friendship and love in the midst of struggle. It is, quite possibly, the best memoir of 2025. From the very first page, the reader is taken along on two separate journeys - one of having an invisible illness and the other as a rescuer and friend to a curious, lovable pigeon named Two Step (and then many others). I'll admit, perhaps this book hit me so hard and felt so raw and honest because I also have an invisible illness, but the author communicates in a way that I think everyone would understand and empathize with his predicament (at least I hope they would). I was also surprised and delighted by Two Step, who seems to have more empathy and patience than some humans that I know. It's amazing how we can develop such relationships with animals that aren't our typical pets, isn't it?
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves off-the-wall, really personal, emotional memoirs. And I will be making sure we have a copy at the library where I work.
Thank you to Tin House and W.W. Norton for the free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves off-the-wall, really personal, emotional memoirs. And I will be making sure we have a copy at the library where I work.
Thank you to Tin House and W.W. Norton for the free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 4, 2025
I have to admit I struggled quite a bit with this book.
Firstly I'll just put it out there, that I'm in utter awe of the writer for being able to create such a personal book, or any book at all, while being unwell. I suffer from the same illness myself and I can't even begin to imagine how I would summon up the focus this must have required.
With that being said, I struggled a lot with all the things being left out. I understand having to keep some things private, but parts of the story - primarily regarding the love of his life - lacks context in my opinion.
I'm sure there's a reason behind still being this consumed by heartbreak so many years later, but without being given just the smallest crumb of understanding, I'm left wondering why this person is allowed to take up so much space throughout the book.
I know the editor encouraged the writer to include some perspective on this issue into the book but the writer refused, as is his right of course, but without any perspective at all it leaves me annoyed with the constant mention of this significant other.
I genuinely enjoyed the parts in which he mentions his illness and the struggles involved in living with this condition, seeking treatment and trying not to completely dissappear from everyone around you.
The dominating feeling I'm left with after reading this book though, is that it has potential and quirkiness but at the same time is so laced with self pity that it becomes a struggle to finish.
Firstly I'll just put it out there, that I'm in utter awe of the writer for being able to create such a personal book, or any book at all, while being unwell. I suffer from the same illness myself and I can't even begin to imagine how I would summon up the focus this must have required.
With that being said, I struggled a lot with all the things being left out. I understand having to keep some things private, but parts of the story - primarily regarding the love of his life - lacks context in my opinion.
I'm sure there's a reason behind still being this consumed by heartbreak so many years later, but without being given just the smallest crumb of understanding, I'm left wondering why this person is allowed to take up so much space throughout the book.
I know the editor encouraged the writer to include some perspective on this issue into the book but the writer refused, as is his right of course, but without any perspective at all it leaves me annoyed with the constant mention of this significant other.
I genuinely enjoyed the parts in which he mentions his illness and the struggles involved in living with this condition, seeking treatment and trying not to completely dissappear from everyone around you.
The dominating feeling I'm left with after reading this book though, is that it has potential and quirkiness but at the same time is so laced with self pity that it becomes a struggle to finish.
September 12, 2025
There are 3 kinds of people who would see the author on his walks, with a pigeon on his head. The first would say “Cool” and keep going. The second would say hi and “Thanks, I needed that” and sometimes stop to talk and find out about the man and bird. The third (mostly men) would sneer and say “Pffft”.
I hope I would be in the second group.
If you’re not a real animal lover—and I mean a REAL animal lover—I can see how some of this book would turn you off. But I have a total soft spot for a person who will care for an injured animal—any kind of injured animal or bird—and let themselves fall in love with it. And with the author’s illness, where he could barely function at times from constant headaches (among other debilitating things), it wasn’t easy for him to take care of anything more than himself. But he did. So the man and the bird became friends. And the bird brought more birds, and he let them live in his house and be safe, and he named them and worried about them, and described their distinct personalities in his book. And it's so heartwarming—IF you are a true animal lover. Because there’s a lot here that is extreme. Obviously having birds flying loose around your house can get messy at times. But he dealt with it, because of the joy they brought him, and he really needed some joy in his life, because of his illness and the end of a relationship that had left him broken.
I knew I wanted to read this book as soon as I first heard of it. I’m glad I did, and I hope the author has some relief from his illness and is still living with birds and loving them and all animals as much as he described here.
I hope I would be in the second group.
If you’re not a real animal lover—and I mean a REAL animal lover—I can see how some of this book would turn you off. But I have a total soft spot for a person who will care for an injured animal—any kind of injured animal or bird—and let themselves fall in love with it. And with the author’s illness, where he could barely function at times from constant headaches (among other debilitating things), it wasn’t easy for him to take care of anything more than himself. But he did. So the man and the bird became friends. And the bird brought more birds, and he let them live in his house and be safe, and he named them and worried about them, and described their distinct personalities in his book. And it's so heartwarming—IF you are a true animal lover. Because there’s a lot here that is extreme. Obviously having birds flying loose around your house can get messy at times. But he dealt with it, because of the joy they brought him, and he really needed some joy in his life, because of his illness and the end of a relationship that had left him broken.
I knew I wanted to read this book as soon as I first heard of it. I’m glad I did, and I hope the author has some relief from his illness and is still living with birds and loving them and all animals as much as he described here.
September 4, 2025
I really wanted to love this book, but if I’m being honest, I had a hard time with it. Brian’s love for his pigeons is beautiful, and something I wish more people had towards animals in general. There’s a lot we can learn from Brian, but this book left me wanting more (what happened between him and L.? What is his relationship like with his brother?) I also had a hard time turning off my own “mom” brain while reading and felt a deep compassion and concern for the author. He’s battling a severe illness virtually alone it seems (yes, the pigeons provide their own unique help but he does not seem to have many close friends). I felt in some ways the book was a cry for help. If I was his mother, I’d hope his older brother would offer to help more (maybe he does but the author does not provide details). He desperately needs a human to provide as much compassion for him as he shows to his pigeons. I deeply hope he can find that, as he deserves it!
Since we don’t know what happened between him and L., it’s hard to wrap my head around their relationship. I admire his dedication to his true love, but I also think it’s no longer healthy for him (and arguably L.) if she reads this book, I imagine she will have a hard time with it. It borderlines obsessive and almost makes me feel like he wants her to see he still loves her after many, many years? She may feel guilt or even fear that he’s held on this long and I don’t think it’s quite fair to her.
Finally, I found it a bit odd the editor included a picture of herself on the book jacket. Yes, he dictated this book, but it’s still his words. I was confused by this choice and wasn’t sure why she was enough of the story to be featured in the jacket.
I really hope Brian gets the compassionate love he deserves. As a mother myself, I’d be absolutely heartbroken if this was my son and I wish there was more I could do to help him. I hope he finds the love he needs.
Since we don’t know what happened between him and L., it’s hard to wrap my head around their relationship. I admire his dedication to his true love, but I also think it’s no longer healthy for him (and arguably L.) if she reads this book, I imagine she will have a hard time with it. It borderlines obsessive and almost makes me feel like he wants her to see he still loves her after many, many years? She may feel guilt or even fear that he’s held on this long and I don’t think it’s quite fair to her.
Finally, I found it a bit odd the editor included a picture of herself on the book jacket. Yes, he dictated this book, but it’s still his words. I was confused by this choice and wasn’t sure why she was enough of the story to be featured in the jacket.
I really hope Brian gets the compassionate love he deserves. As a mother myself, I’d be absolutely heartbroken if this was my son and I wish there was more I could do to help him. I hope he finds the love he needs.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 2, 2025
This was not so much a story about saving pigeons and learning about a man’s mystery illness as the entire book is a middle aged straight man whining about the “woman who left him 7 years ago”. Each chapter I found myself not asking questions about the pigeons or his migraine but, why hasn’t he moved on? 7 years and you’re still obsessed with the ex? Felt like diary entries that could have been left to him and his therapist.
October 29, 2025
Can a memoir be too personal? Turns out, maybe! I really liked where this book was going, but it seems like it got a bit lost on the way. There were some parts that he could’ve gone into more detail about and some that got FAR too many. All in all, I didn’t see any argument for why “we should all be birds” (or a focus on the birds at all).
The author has a chronic illness and some mental struggles, and (where doctors and treatments seem to offer little help) caring for birds gives the author happiness and purpose. However, the point of this book seems to be more about what was / could’ve been without his illness.
It’s written as a number of stream-of-consciousness ramblings, which would’ve been right at home in his personal journal entries. (Because of the intensely personal content, I was initially very hesitant to criticize it, but as an edited, published book, there should have been more effort made to cut out what wasn’t necessary.)
My biggest issue was how much time was spent talking about “the woman he loved,” which he either refers to as that exactly or just “L.” (off-topic but it’s hard to not be reminded of Death Note). Sure, it’s a nonfiction book - there’s going to be times when you aren’t going to give out everyone’s full government name. But you couldn’t even come up with an alias? By all means, tell the reader it’s an alias if you want, but if she’s important enough to be included in every chapter, at least give her a name!
Clearly, she’s a significant figure in his life and he thinks about her often. Which, if this were his personal journal, would make complete sense! Just not much here. What’s worse though, is knowing she’s a real person and has to know (or worse still - doesn’t know!) what this guy is telling the world about: his dreams where he’s talking to her, in-detail memories of a trip he took with her and her family, that he still imagines her son being the same age as the last time he last saw him…. yeah no. Yes, it’s a memoir, but it should still be a cohesive book.
The author has a chronic illness and some mental struggles, and (where doctors and treatments seem to offer little help) caring for birds gives the author happiness and purpose. However, the point of this book seems to be more about what was / could’ve been without his illness.
It’s written as a number of stream-of-consciousness ramblings, which would’ve been right at home in his personal journal entries. (Because of the intensely personal content, I was initially very hesitant to criticize it, but as an edited, published book, there should have been more effort made to cut out what wasn’t necessary.)
My biggest issue was how much time was spent talking about “the woman he loved,” which he either refers to as that exactly or just “L.” (off-topic but it’s hard to not be reminded of Death Note). Sure, it’s a nonfiction book - there’s going to be times when you aren’t going to give out everyone’s full government name. But you couldn’t even come up with an alias? By all means, tell the reader it’s an alias if you want, but if she’s important enough to be included in every chapter, at least give her a name!
Clearly, she’s a significant figure in his life and he thinks about her often. Which, if this were his personal journal, would make complete sense! Just not much here. What’s worse though, is knowing she’s a real person and has to know (or worse still - doesn’t know!) what this guy is telling the world about: his dreams where he’s talking to her, in-detail memories of a trip he took with her and her family, that he still imagines her son being the same age as the last time he last saw him…. yeah no. Yes, it’s a memoir, but it should still be a cohesive book.
September 5, 2025
stunning
Much in the same way as, The Sound of a Wild Snail Chewing, this book took me, lyrically and softly, into the intimate world of illness and friendship. My memory for what I read is not great, so few books stick with me. This will be one of them.
Much in the same way as, The Sound of a Wild Snail Chewing, this book took me, lyrically and softly, into the intimate world of illness and friendship. My memory for what I read is not great, so few books stick with me. This will be one of them.
September 7, 2025
Confirmed I do not like memoirs. Will not be writing more on this one.
October 18, 2025
I loved so many things about this book! The author's love of pigeons echoes how I feel about them. It's always nice to run into a fellow appreciator of all things pigeon. I also struggle with a hard to diagnose condition and really connect with the exasperation of the author in trying to find helpful medical help.
less interested in the parts about his travel and kind of creepy non-stop complaints about his relationship ending.
less interested in the parts about his travel and kind of creepy non-stop complaints about his relationship ending.
August 19, 2025
This is a quirky book, by a quirky guy, but I really liked it.
September 2, 2025
I always feel like I need to be careful when I review memoirs of people who are still living. This is particularly true in this author‘s case. As such, all I will say is that I am glad he is kind to pigeons and that I will pray for him.
October 1, 2025
I never tired of hearing about Two-Step and company but I certainly had my fill of L and the boy.
September 9, 2025
I feel bad for this author and appreciate his care for animals, but this should not have been a book for the public. It's like a stream-of-consciousness back-and-forth that isn't well organized. He keeps going back to his lost love but never shares more about why things ended.
I love memoirs and birds, but this just didn't do it for me. I was skimming the last 75 pages or so just to wrap it up.
I love memoirs and birds, but this just didn't do it for me. I was skimming the last 75 pages or so just to wrap it up.
December 4, 2025
Yikes. I’m not sure what I had expected with this book but it was not this. I didn’t find this story particularly uplifting or insightful. As much as I love birds and understand the healing nature of being around them and caring for them this seems more like a situation where someone should have intervened. 12 feral birds, all sick or injured, living in a house with free range along with a man who often times is too weak to stand long enough to shower can not be good for his health on top of his existing issues.
As for the relationship with L, he should’ve listened to his friends disapproval from the start. I have a few men in my life who have this same obsessive attachment tendencies to a specific ex from their past and like the author, they can’t explain why they feel so strongly towards the person who left them leading me to believe that there really is no reason. I might go onto a limb and say that because his parents were never able to meet her he has romanticized what his life could’ve been had they done so. We see this in his claim his father would have approved of him after having found he was able to find a woman like L.
The author seems absolutely reluctant to take professional advice on boundaries and social norms around honesty and yet throughout the book I find it difficult to believe the stories he’s telling. Not that I think he’s made it all up just that I think he’s so deluded in his world view that it’s warped the memories of his life.
In the second half of the book he talks about having tried going on dates after L but it never worked out because they didn’t “open doors” to which I want to ask him what does that even mean.? I feel like he’s looking for someone exactly like L instead of taking his own advice from his experience with the birds to open up to new things and find the magic in the wonder of an entirely new person.
I find Brian to be pretty unrelatable because of his lifestyle before the disease, the obsession over his lost love, and the overly indulgent/ idealistic expectations of what life should give including the expectation he has for what people should be willing to accept from him as well as give to him. He has a savior complex, trying to save both L and two step without intending to release either of them. At lest not entirely.
At the end of the day this is a story of a man who was dumped by a woman who he had dated for I think two-ish years and then proceeded to obsess over it for the next 7 all while becoming very sick and rescuing a pigeon that he never intends to return to the wild.
As for the relationship with L, he should’ve listened to his friends disapproval from the start. I have a few men in my life who have this same obsessive attachment tendencies to a specific ex from their past and like the author, they can’t explain why they feel so strongly towards the person who left them leading me to believe that there really is no reason. I might go onto a limb and say that because his parents were never able to meet her he has romanticized what his life could’ve been had they done so. We see this in his claim his father would have approved of him after having found he was able to find a woman like L.
The author seems absolutely reluctant to take professional advice on boundaries and social norms around honesty and yet throughout the book I find it difficult to believe the stories he’s telling. Not that I think he’s made it all up just that I think he’s so deluded in his world view that it’s warped the memories of his life.
In the second half of the book he talks about having tried going on dates after L but it never worked out because they didn’t “open doors” to which I want to ask him what does that even mean.? I feel like he’s looking for someone exactly like L instead of taking his own advice from his experience with the birds to open up to new things and find the magic in the wonder of an entirely new person.
I find Brian to be pretty unrelatable because of his lifestyle before the disease, the obsession over his lost love, and the overly indulgent/ idealistic expectations of what life should give including the expectation he has for what people should be willing to accept from him as well as give to him. He has a savior complex, trying to save both L and two step without intending to release either of them. At lest not entirely.
At the end of the day this is a story of a man who was dumped by a woman who he had dated for I think two-ish years and then proceeded to obsess over it for the next 7 all while becoming very sick and rescuing a pigeon that he never intends to return to the wild.
October 27, 2025
This was an interesting memoir. Brian has ME/CFS and it is debilitating to him. He essentially has ended up living his life within the confines of his house and can barely make it through the day until he can go to sleep and have dreams which enable him to live without the migraines that he gets on a daily basis.
He discusses L. a lot throughout this book. A little bit less of L. would be preferable. And it is a depressing read overall. He had some great times in his life, but truly began falling apart during the pandemic. He found Two-Step who he says was hit by a car and it messed up his foot. Two-Step eventually got the use of his foot back by picking at it throughout the day. Two-Step became the SO of V. and they had baby pigeons over the couple of years they were alive.
Brian also discusses having Akathisia while he was in Asia. At first they diagnosed him as having leptospirosis, but then decided he didn't have that, and instead had a severe panic disorder. The hospital wanted to discharge him, but he couldn't handle going back to the hotel and living on spaghetti and meatballs all the time when he felt like eating. He called a friend in Alabama who flew to Kuala Lumpur and brought him back home to Missoula.
The book drifts in and out of being with L., who he was engaged to, and being in Asia two different times, and getting severely ill the 2nd time in was in Asia, and the progression of his illness during the pandemic.
He discusses L. a lot throughout this book. A little bit less of L. would be preferable. And it is a depressing read overall. He had some great times in his life, but truly began falling apart during the pandemic. He found Two-Step who he says was hit by a car and it messed up his foot. Two-Step eventually got the use of his foot back by picking at it throughout the day. Two-Step became the SO of V. and they had baby pigeons over the couple of years they were alive.
Brian also discusses having Akathisia while he was in Asia. At first they diagnosed him as having leptospirosis, but then decided he didn't have that, and instead had a severe panic disorder. The hospital wanted to discharge him, but he couldn't handle going back to the hotel and living on spaghetti and meatballs all the time when he felt like eating. He called a friend in Alabama who flew to Kuala Lumpur and brought him back home to Missoula.
The book drifts in and out of being with L., who he was engaged to, and being in Asia two different times, and getting severely ill the 2nd time in was in Asia, and the progression of his illness during the pandemic.
December 9, 2025
I think it would be quite therapeutic for Brian to listen some of Taylor Swift’s most gutting heartbreak songs (say, All Too Well 10 Minute Version or loml). But I also think Brian is the kind of guy who would think he’s way too cool for Taylor Swift.
*****************
This was a very personal story about one man’s experience with the debilitating chronic illness and perhaps even more debilitating heartbreak. As Brian is trying to find his place in his new life, he rescues an injured pigeon (I love that he called it a meet cute). That pigeon (soon renamed Two-Step) is the first of many birds for which Brian provides comfort, care, and shelter.
Brian is a unique man and I feel for him. The story goes around and around in what soon become familiar circles—chronic illness and “L.” leaving him and breaking his heart. For the chronic illness storyline, it was painful to hear because it’s hard to hear someone in such literal pain like that. For the “L.” storyline, it was painful to hear because the man is torturing himself. In the words of a very wise and poetic woman (who you are not too cool for, Brian) … In my defense I have none, for digging up the grave another time.
Overall, Brian’s story—and Two-Step’s—is worth telling and I am glad I listened.
*****************
This was a very personal story about one man’s experience with the debilitating chronic illness and perhaps even more debilitating heartbreak. As Brian is trying to find his place in his new life, he rescues an injured pigeon (I love that he called it a meet cute). That pigeon (soon renamed Two-Step) is the first of many birds for which Brian provides comfort, care, and shelter.
Brian is a unique man and I feel for him. The story goes around and around in what soon become familiar circles—chronic illness and “L.” leaving him and breaking his heart. For the chronic illness storyline, it was painful to hear because it’s hard to hear someone in such literal pain like that. For the “L.” storyline, it was painful to hear because the man is torturing himself. In the words of a very wise and poetic woman (who you are not too cool for, Brian) … In my defense I have none, for digging up the grave another time.
Overall, Brian’s story—and Two-Step’s—is worth telling and I am glad I listened.
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October 22, 2025I didn’t find it charming in any way. He tried to paint himself as quirky and sensitive and afflicted but trying. I found him to be compulsive, a little bit stalker-y and possibly mentally ill. He had a way of describing erratic behavior as if it were perfectly reasonable, trying to gaslight me into agreeing with him. Nope.
Also from a writing standpoint there were so many gaps. He never filled in the gaps he kept promising to say more about. He’s been out of a relationship with L for 7 or 8 years and he refers to her as “the woman I love” in the present tense and yet she broke up with him several times, his friends did not think they should be together, and she “disappeared” and he has no idea where she is. I mean, it sounds like she had to get away from him and he’s still obsessing over her.
Also from a writing standpoint there were so many gaps. He never filled in the gaps he kept promising to say more about. He’s been out of a relationship with L for 7 or 8 years and he refers to her as “the woman I love” in the present tense and yet she broke up with him several times, his friends did not think they should be together, and she “disappeared” and he has no idea where she is. I mean, it sounds like she had to get away from him and he’s still obsessing over her.
December 12, 2025
I loved reading this book until the last few pages. Buckbee has so much compassion for “his” birds and it is such a relief to find a writer who truly understands how valuable our relationships with other species can be. That is until he dispassionately reminiscences about fishing. Why is he not capable of seeing the parallel of hooking the cheek of a pigeon, pulling it from a tree, depriving it of oxygen as he admires it, then throwing it back in the tree and walking away without ever considering the harm he has rendered by his “hobby”?Perhaps it is this same inadequate empathic ability that kept him from understanding why the love of his life decided to leave.
August 19, 2025
I looked forward to reading this story. However,
the writing was poor and disappointing. A good editor would have condensed some of the chapters. The point of the book is that birds, like other creatures, are also capable of a relationship with us. The author’s chronic headaches and fibromyalgia have ruined his life and his grief and pain from a lost love is crushing. Caring for pigeons and being cared for by Two Step is remarkable.
This story reminds me that animals are the sweetest
remedy for pain.
the writing was poor and disappointing. A good editor would have condensed some of the chapters. The point of the book is that birds, like other creatures, are also capable of a relationship with us. The author’s chronic headaches and fibromyalgia have ruined his life and his grief and pain from a lost love is crushing. Caring for pigeons and being cared for by Two Step is remarkable.
This story reminds me that animals are the sweetest
remedy for pain.
November 1, 2025
I really enjoyed this memoir about chronic pain from unexplainable migraines and the way one man found hope and purpose by befriending an injured pigeon. The disability rep in this book was top notch but it was the heartwarming human-animal relationship that really stole the show. Fans of these kinds of stories will not want to miss this. It was also good on audio and there were a lot of travel descriptions too on top of his frustrating search for pain relief and an explanation/diagnosis.
November 7, 2025
Author Brian Buckbee lovingly cared for his pigeons & many creatures throughout life… unquestionably a really good man. Listening to details of his long-standing symptoms & illness throughout this entire book, however, did not make for an enjoyable time. Withholding details about what happened to L, her son, the loss she had, etc. was downright frustrating.
July 15, 2025
In this memoir, we meet a man who is dealing with a unknown illness and has taken a liking to a pigeon. The book is very well written and rather sad and is told a little disjointed, but the story at its core is a good one.
August 17, 2025
Felt like I was catching up with an old friend over coffee. Shows that there are always positive pieces in life no matter one’s situation, and they’ll hit you at the most unexpected times. Really enjoyed how Two Step is described more as a friend than a pigeon.
June 23, 2025
Best book of 2025. Beautifully written and poignant. Animals, no matter how small or big can change a person’s life. As someone with chronic mental health issues, Brian’s story is a relatable one. I felt as if his words were my own and he was able to articulate feelings that I had long felt. Will be recommending this book to friends and family.
November 10, 2025
As I read I immediately realized the author is nuts, but at least he liked and cared for birds. Reading on further I had no doubts this was the writings of a deranged nut case, but he loved birds. The final third of the book caused me to conclude I was beginning to understand him and realized we’re both nuttier than loons and we both love birds!
November 27, 2025
I hate to rate a memoir so low but here I am. I finished it hoping for something, anything.
August 10, 2025
It was weird but, also very interesting. This is a very unique memoir and I’m glad I read it.
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