I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise From Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love

by Jessica N. Turner

“This book will change your life! If you're wrestling with disappointment, heartache, or the curveballs life throws at you, Jessica Turner's story will speak right to your soul.”
- Mel Robbins, bestselling author and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast

Learn how to recover from life’s disappointments and rebuild a life you love. 

What happens when you look at your life and think, I thought it would be better than this? You know you can’t stay where you are, but have no idea what to do next. 

When Jessica N. Turner, a mom of three, lost her 16-year-marriage after her husband came out as gay, her life shattered. With grit and determination, she picked up the pieces, chose hope and courageously rebuilt a beautiful next chapter.  

During this process, Jessica discovered universal tools that can support you, no matter what you’re facing. Using thoughtful reflections and exercises, vulnerable storytelling, and practical takeaways, Jessica will help  

   ·Evaluate your disappointments, heartaches, and unmet expectations so that you can move forward in healing.
   ·Talk candidly about your feelings to forge healthier and more meaningful relationships.
   ·Practice forgiveness and empathy for yourself and others so that you live with more love and less pain.
   ·Regain control over the parts of life where you have agency instead of passively waiting for things to happen to you.
   ·Discover creative practices to cultivate daily satisfaction and contentment.
   · Learn to love yourself and the characteristics that make you unique so that you can be more confident and content.

I Thought It Would Be Better Than This is a manifesto of hope that will empower you to transform your circumstances and move forward with intention and purpose. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Self Help, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Biography, Personal Development

239 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 8, 2025

About the author

Jessica N. Turner is the creative force and blogging veteran behind The Mom Creative. The 2021 Iris Award Winner for Best Mom Blog, Jessica is a respected tastemaker for beloved brands and services that help make life easier for busy women. She is also the author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book The Fringe Hours and Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive.

Additionally, Jessica is an award-winning marketing professional, with 15 years of content creation experience. She also speaks at events nationwide on work-life balance and blogging best practices.

She has been featured in numerous media outlets including The Today Show, Hallmark's Home & Family, O Magazine, People Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens, Time.com and Inc.com.

She lives with her three young children in Nashville, Tennessee.

Reviews

[Anne Bogel]

Reviewed in the April 2025 edition of Quick Lit on Modern Mrs Darcy:

I've been looking forward to this book from my friend Jessica Turner for a long time; it turned out to be an accidental but apt pairing with The Body Keeps the Score. In it Jessica writes about how she was unexpectedly forced to, in a sense, start her adult life over again: Jessica married young, at age 22, but sixteen years into their marriage her husband came out as gay and they ultimately decided to divorce. This book is part memoir and part self-help: Jessica both shares her story and offers encouragement to anyone dealing with major disappointment (or who just struggles with the sense that yeah, wasn't it supposed to be better than this?). When faced with this unwanted change in the structure of her life, Jessica decided that if she had to start over, she wanted to give it her all, and here she documents how she grieved, made the best imperfect choices she could, poured into relationships with family and friends, had new experiences, and ultimately built a life she's happy with and proud of.

[Janssen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went to read the first chapter and then ended up reading the whole book. This is such a masterpiece - a terrific mix of memoir and self-help that is encouraging, thoughtful, and honest. Do not miss this one. Put it on your TBR list immediately.

[Laila · Rating 1 out of 5]

I listened to an interview with the author on a book podcast that I really like. The interview lead me to be interested in this book, and the high goodreads and Amazon reviews convinced me to listen to it. The author’s story sounded interesting and I have a hard time finding memoirs that hold my attention. I feel bad giving this book such a low rating but honestly it’s not good at all IMO. The high ratings were misleading for me. The tone/writing is very basic and sounds almost like a high schooler’s voice. It’s kind of like someone filled out a self-help meets memoir template with forced anecdotes etc. The poor writing aside, there were three things that really irked me about this book content-wise. 1. Controversial but: The author’s extremely generous framing of her ex husband’s coming out as living his truth, bringing him back because of his authenticity and happiness, etc. I understand she is being gracious but I felt like this man was painted as an absolute angel and poor victim when the reality is he blew up an entire family. Better late than never and I’m glad he was honest with her and himself but honestly she paints it with a bit of a rosy brush considering the trauma he put her and their children through. 2. The author seems to place alot of her self worth in the hands of men and how they view her. A lot of the “lessons” she learned about herself were just her being glad that men were into her and that making her confident. E.g. a man would find her attractive despite her weight etc, and suddenly she would believe she was good enough etc. it happened a few times and I just felt like a lot of her self worth came from male validation. And finally 3. A lot of the advice comes off kind of out-of-touch for the average person. Taking extravagant vacations, hiring nutritionists, fancy workout classes or trainers, ordering food out instead of cooking, going to retreats that are days or weeks long where can stop working, leave her kids somewhere, and not have a phone, taking pottery and embroidery classes, going out of town often and at the drop of a hat, hosting a lot of parties that involve a lot of resources etc. no hate to her but I don’t think the average person reading this would be able to do much of that at all. Overall very dull in tone and annoying in content, I was hoping for more raw content not everything tied up in a pretty bow. It fell more than flat for me.

[Annabel Jade · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is so hilariously bad I had to DNF, for perhaps the first time ever - annoyed that it’s going to fuck up my 2025 stats.

This ‘author’ has apparently taken some kind of TikTok course on dramatic audiobook reading because it genuinely sounds like she’s on the edge of climax the whole time. I think it was the recommendation that in order to recover from trauma, one must pray, followed by the words ‘crying out to god with my sorrow’ that finally did it for me, though.

Personal reflection is telling me that perhaps I should stop looking for answers on how to fix my shit stain of a life in self-help books written by self absorbed American women who found narcissistic fame via social media. Probably should just rely on the actual skills I’ve learned in actual therapy with an actual clinical psychologist.

[Leah Mullins · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I don't want to take anything away from Jessica's excruciating experience, on the whole I found this book to be overly simplistic and full of catch-phrases and sermon-like lectures and "activities". It honestly felt like she was trying to be the next Glennon Doyle or Rachel Hollis, both of whom were exciting to me for a time but then started to get on my last nerve with their "brutal honesty" and harping on how hard life is all the time. Ugh. I believe Jessica is a good person and I think she meant to do good with this book, but it feels like all the phony Christian drivel I grew up on. I just didn't love it as a self-help book.

[Heather Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review: I Thought It Would Be Better Than This by Jessica N. Turner

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book will stay with me for a long time. I had the incredible honor of reading early drafts as part of a focus group last year, and I’ve been thinking about the rest of the story ever since.

Jessica Turner has written a powerful blend of memoir and self-help that speaks directly to anyone who’s ever looked around at their life and whispered, “I thought it would be better than this.” With vulnerability, honesty, and grace, she shares her journey through heartbreak, disappointment, and rebuilding after the end of her 16-year marriage—while offering real tools for readers to process their own pain and start again.

This book isn’t just about divorce. It speaks to grief, identity loss, burnout, unmet expectations, and the quiet ache of feeling stuck in a life you never planned for. And yet, it never feels heavy or hopeless. It feels empowering. Uplifting. Honest in a way that feels like sitting with a wise friend who’s walked through the fire and wants to help you find your way forward.

I also listened to the audiobook—narrated by Jessica herself—and it was perfection. Her voice is filled with warmth and wisdom, and it adds a deeply personal touch to an already impactful read.

Whether you’re in the middle of a hard season or just searching for clarity and hope, this book offers both. It’s one I’ll be recommending over and over again.

Follow me on Instagram @jammers_bookstacks for more honest, heartfelt reviews and book recs you can trust. I’d love to help you find your next favorite read!

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

Super cliche. And the author constantly quoted other people. So if you want to read the ideas from this book, go read the books she quoted instead.

[Leslie - Shobizreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars for this new release that’s part memoir and part self-help. I listened to the audio version and loved hearing the author narrate it herself.

I’ve followed Jessica for years and read her previous book, The Fringe Hours. This new release shares about her marriage ending when her husband Matthew came out to her almost five years ago. But it’s about so much more than that - it’s about life’s disappointment and making it through hard seasons. Well, not just making it through but learning and growing from it.

In general, I’m not a big fan of preachy “self help” books but this one is so good at authentically naming the grief & loss process, providing some actionable next steps and providing hope that you will make it to the other side including therapy which I am a huge fan of!

She is a practicing Christian but her faith isn’t the front & center part of this story so I think this book is relatable regardless of your background. In fact, some of the grief & loss she experienced was from her faith community responding to her marriage ending & why.

To be human is to experience disappointment and loss - if you’re in a season where a book on that would be helpful, definitely pick this up.

[Heidi Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was privileged to be able to read the first few chapters months ago and once I received a copy as part of the launch team, I literally devoured it. This is very appropriate for me to read this with my own situation being over a decade ago but it is finally feeling like spring is coming for me. I appreciated the vulnerability with which Jessica shared. This will help so many people no doubt! Things I had to learn on my own over a decade ago are detailed so lovingly here.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this part-memoir, part self-help book, Jessica N. Turner shares her journey of navigating and rising from profound disappointment—specifically, her husband coming out as gay and the end of their 16-year marriage. Through her story, she offers readers practical tools for accepting change and moving forward.

I fully agree with everything Jessica said in this book. All of the ideas she has and steps she suggests for self-reflection and dealing with change and disappointments is absolutely correct. I just happen to already know and have taken most of these steps!

There’s one exercise Jessica mentions early on which is a journal prompt to use the sentence stem “This Happened To Me, And…” - I filled a whole page in my journal with this prompt. I also found her other journal activities helpful.

This book can be helpful for anyone facing a major disappointment—whether in relationships, career, or life transitions. While there’s value for readers at any stage of processing, I think it would be especially impactful for someone in the early days of a fresh loss or change.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started journaling about some things in my own life as I read this book. The beginning of this book was especially good. I felt like some of the advice, especially about grief, was a little too drawn out, but I liked the combo style of part memoir and part self-help. While the author does share a little about her spiritual life, I can't imagine navigating deep disappointments without Jesus, therefore I wanted more about that foundation of life. I appreciated the book's vulnerability and practicality.

[Sarah Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

After 16 years of marriage, the author's husband came out to her as gay. This is her story of how she recovered in a new life as a single mother of three after the marriage she thought would last for a lifetime was over. It is also a self-help guide to face to reevaluate and move forward when life throws curveballs you weren't expecting.

The author has such an intriguing story, and I was so curious to learn more about her experience and how she personally dealt with this huge shift in her life and family. However, it quickly became clear that much of her story is private. She makes several references to the fact that his coming out story is her husband's story to tell. She always does not reference her children's reaction or how she handled telling them or how they dealt with the shift in the family dynamics. I understand wanting to maintain some element of privacy, but it is difficult to write a memoir about a particular experience without many details about said experience.

Instead, the book leans heavily into being a self-help text. It is filled with suggestions on how to handle going through similar upheavals including getting more sleep, exercising, and leaning into hobbies. All of this is valid and sound advice. But I would have appreciated wisdom more through her personal story and examples of how she herself overcame this period of her life, rather than point blank self-help verbiage. Additionally, some of her suggestions come off as entitled. Her suggestions of getting lots of sleep, making time for hobbies, getting massages, etc. probably are difficult pills to swallow for many single mothers, many of which likely do not have the resources or time to indulge in such practices.

My family has experienced a similar scenario to the one this author experienced with her husband and I was so curious to hear how another family felt about and dealt with it. While she does include some brief insights into the devastation and emotional upheaval she felt, it felt like the tip of the iceberg, with the bulk of the experience still kept secret. Maybe it was my fault for not realizing going in how heavily this book would lean into self-help over personal memoir, but I was disappointed.

This was great on audio and read by the author herself. The writing style was well organized and thoughtful.

[Elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book would be better than it is. Turner doesn’t mean to sound trite and certainly doesn’t intend to repackage platitudes in modern prose, but I came away feeling like this self-help book has been written countless times with worn out themes and advice. For me, there was absolutely nothing new and I felt disappointed that the “depth” Turner was supposedly sharing with us about her painful unexpected divorce felt ultimately shallow.
Obviously. Many others adored this book, I guess I’m a jaded self-help book reader.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of Matthew Paul Turner but didn't know anything about his ex-wife. While I don't deny the trauma of finding out that your husband is gay and getting divorced etc, I thought that most of Jessica's advice depended on having money and a lot of friends. Famous friends are even better. Maybe I was just in the wrong frame of mind this week to read a book like this but it didn't touch me emotionally. It bored me.

[Amy Dooley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have followed Jessica Turner for many years and I read all of her books in the past. I wanted to really like this book but I DNF’d at 60% and didn’t finish it. I appreciated listening to her story but it felt like the book was dragging on and I was ready to move on to reading a different book.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title says it best, I thought this book would be better than this...

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is part memoir, part self-help. I really like Jessica, and enjoy her Instagram account. She has an interesting story, and a compelling perspective. I think my big takeaway was just how incredibly gracious Jessica is. She really seems to live her religion.
I had a personal realization while reading the book that was very impactful for me, so I’m grateful for that. All that said, Jessica has access to resources that most of us don’t have, which made some of the book a little hard to swallow. But I’m glad I read the book, and if there were more Jessica’s in the world, we would be living in a better place.

[Rachel Schwantes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked a lot of this book and felt like it was such a great balance of memoir and well rounded self-help. It made me think a lot about my own life disappointments and how I can more effectively rebuild and overcome. It also made me think a lot about what I take for granted being in a committed relationship and how important it is to invest in your close relationships. This would make a great book club book, I think it would lead to meaningful discussion.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessica is so down to earth and authentic. Her wise words can be applied to a variety of situations. This is the book I wish had existed during my hardest days. Luckily, I have it now! This book will provide practical tips for navigating disappointment. Jessica’s story will make you feel seen and less alone.

[Melanie Grant · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed some of her insights and felt that others were a bit amateurish. I skim read about half of it. A couple quotes I took down:

“She said she had prepared her whole life for success, but no one had taught her how to fail”

“The problem is, we have been sold an ideal about life that is not real. We think we are supposed to be perfect and present ourselves as whole, together people.”

[Brooke Hill · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 rounded down

I really loved the first few chapters and highlighted a lot throughout this book. I liked the memoir parts better than the self-help parts, as it didn’t feel like anything new, really— yes, we’ve been told already that we need community, and to exercise, and to have hobbies etc.

But overall a really helpful and empowering message

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me so much! I have been divorced for nine years after a 40 year marriage. Because of the chapter on forgiveness in this book I was finally able to say “I forgive you” out loud knowing I will never hear “I’m sorry” or anything else, for that matter, from my former spouse. It has been freeing in a way I wasn’t expecting. Her chapters on rebuilding have also been so helpful!

[Kristyn]

I had higher hopes for this book. The author’s story is weaved throughout and I agree with those saying it seemed part memoir, part self-help. There were some questions in the beginning that I did find helpful, but overall the “self-help” portions of the book I did not enjoy. Some of her encouragements and lessons didn’t sit well with me. Overall I would not recommend.

[Jen Redmond]

Read out of curiosity …. it’s not a memoir and not a self-help and for lack of clear direction, I think it fell flat. I admire her resilience and commitment to a growth mindset, but not everything should be turned into a book (or I’m not the target audience). Read the other reviews for more.

[Carrie Jacobs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've followed her since 2021-ish. This was a good book.

[Blair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not groundbreaking but validating with solid common sense advice.

[Katie Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having been through a very similar situation as Jessica, I found this book to be SO RELATABLE. She articulated so well so many of the feelings and emotions I've experienced since my own unique divorce. I found that the suggestions and tips she provided to be spot on advice for someone navigating something similar. My timeline was similar to Jessica's so I'm a few years out as well, and this would've been a fantastic tool for me at the time. I would highly recommend this book to someone who may be at the beginning of navigating their own journey of something similar now.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saved the rant for the end.

I have always liked Jessica in theory but I don’t love how chipper and gracious everything is, so I have never been one of her close followers. This book is more of the same from her… 75% very cool and 25% “seriously?”

I’ve been through a devastating situation similar to, but way worse than, hers. My ex pulled a lot of the same tricks as Jessica’s ex, with the added bonus of a prison sentence and permanent eviction from our lives. Coming through that crisis on my own with 4 very young kids, I was eager to read this book.

Now I’ve read it, and there are a few things I would suggest readers be aware of before reading the book:

- The author benefits from a significant support system and is well resourced. She has a capable and amicable coparent nearby. She has numerous friends in her neighborhood, her city, and online who show up for her well. She appears to have some disposable income for things like takeout and travel and multi-day therapeutic intensives and nutritional coaching. I confess to having several “wow, must be nice” moments with the book. I still really like her, but I found some of her “charming anecdotes” to be not so relatable.

- This book gives you homework and some of it is not appropriate if you are still bleeding out. Jessica doesn’t seem to want to do anything unless there’s a goal or evaluation attached. If you’re still in the descent and desperate and suffering, please be aware this book includes things like report cards and task lists. Still read it because there’s a lot of hope, but skip the exercises if you aren’t at least stabilized if not on the upward trajectory yet.

- Having this kind of life-altering devastation referred to in the book as “a disappointment” was something I had to consciously choose to move past.

- Matthew is due a reckoning, and she does not seem interested in bringing it. I get the sense that she thinks him coming out was sOoOoOo hard for him that she shouldn’t make it worse by being pissed. Girl, no. I’m sure coming out was hard for him, but also he. is. a. COWARD. He picked you bright-eyed and innocent when you wouldn’t know any better, lied to you for years, trickle-truthed you for more years, demolished your self worth the whole time, fffiiinnnaaallllllllyyyy came out to you ON A SCHOOL MORNING knowing YOU were taking the kids in, doesn’t even have the guts to ask for a divorce and makes YOU do it, and when you’re falling apart wondering how you will survive the devastation, he hugs you and says “I know”? Seriously?? Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to just roll with “Matthew is a wonderful person and friend”?? I was, am, and will continue to be INFURIATED with him on her behalf and a large part of me wants to take Jessica by the shoulders and yell “LOOK WHAT HE DID TO YOU! THAT IS NOT LOVE!!”

Ok I’m better now. All in all, I will recommend this book but with these caveats.

[Amanda McDaniel]

Yeah....I tried to give this one a shot, and as it's a memoir (ish???) I will hold to my rule to not review it b/c memoirs are personal and this isn't about a person or their story.

The writing is pretty elementary and full of evangeli-speak (IYKYK) and really, I've struggled really hard with seeing women uphold patriarchy by needing men to validate them or really just painting their own story on the backdrop of men's opinions. Women (and Jessica) are so much more interesting than that.

My other critique is really self-help/how to books written by white ladies who have difficulties who provide Pollyanna-esque guidebooks. There's a lot of hellacious stuff going on for marginalized people and there's not enough "get enough sleep" or "Journal about it" or "chin up buttercup" or, "just get some perspective" about it is really going to do a whole lot to help. Maybe I'm too jaded. Maybe this book wasn't for me.

I hope it helps someone, I truly do.

[Sabrina Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve been following Jessica and Matthew’s journey since before their first child was born. They’ve always been great examples of real life lived faith in my view. This only drove home more with Matthew’s coming out.. and the subsequent journey they’ve taken since.

I’m given it a 2.5, as it much more so was a self help book, than a memoir. The pre-order sample was as deep as it went, in my opinion. I was hoping for more meat of her story, than what was written.

** I’m editing to add that my rating and review are based on my own thoughts that it didn’t read as the memor I thought I would be reading. It was well written and what was shared was poignant, and you can feel the emotion as though you are there. Much love to the Turners for sharing the journey they are on.***