Sinners Retreat

Slaycation #1

by Lauren Biel

All’s fair in murder and mayhem

Ezra

Love isn’t on my mind when I sign up for the yearly Sinners Retreat, but a chance meeting at the airport changes everything.

We click right away, and my bond with Kindra only deepens when we discover our mutual love for the most macabre hobbies. But then she brings up her brother’s unsolved murder and her real reason for being here—to find his killer. That’s when the past finally catches up with me, and I’m faced with an impossible choice.

Do I tell her the truth and risk losing her, or can I find a way to keep my real identity a secret forever?

Sinners Retreat is a dark, twisted romantic comedy packed with sharp humor, deadly secrets, and a dangerous dose of spice. Welcome to the retreat—where falling in love can be deadly.


Black cat x cinnamon roll
They are both serial unalivers
MMC who wears glasses
Plus sized and proud FMC
Macabre retreat
One night stand
Forced proximity
Dark humor and a lot of banter!

Although this dark rom-com is "DIET" Lauren Biel it still has adult themes. Full list of content warnings on my website. Please read responsibly!

Genres: Dark Romance, Romance, Audiobook, Dark, Spicy, Forced Proximity, Serial Killer

364 pages, Paperback

Published September 24, 2024

About the author

Lauren’s stories are often emotionally raw, with lots of twists and turns. She describes her writing as “where light meets dark”, which represents how her witty humor compliments the darkness in every story. Instead of trying to mold her writing to fit in a box, she chooses to be unapologetically herself. While her focus is on Romance with dark elements, subgenre is no constraint for her. The common theme in every book is finding love when you least expect it. She enjoys putting her characters through tribulations, allowing their triumphs to be that much more poignant. Make sure you have your seatbelts secured. It’s always a bumpy ride.

When she’s not working, she’s writing. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with her husband, her friends, or her pets. You might also find her on a horseback trail ride or sitting beside a waterfall in Upstate New York. She has a pretty normal life, yet her stories are anything but.

Reviews

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this for review on booksirens.

Warning: Pineapple is harmed in this book and you might never be able to forget the scene 🍍 (but it was hilarious)
I've read two dark romances by Lauren Biel and really enjoyed them and the unhingedness of her characters. I'm not much of a romcom but a dark romcom by Lauren Biel was very intriguing.
I loved it, it was very funny and very unhinged in places and I really liked the characters. The I really liked the romance but also wearing about their "murder hobbies" and the darkness of that but darkly funny as well. The whole plot about a murder retreat made me very interested in reading the other books but the side characters did very much stand out in their own way. But the Pineapple scene will forever be burnt in my brain and I will always remeber that when looking at a pineapple. I hope the pineapple had as much fun and enjoyed is at their hmm... lover?

[Brittany Ferraro · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ I’ve been slumping so damn hard this month, and I could honestly kiss this book on the mouth for pulling me out of it, hopefully for good🤞🏼. I listened to the whole thing in one day, and it was the literal epitome of a good time. The narrators absolutely smashed it. This audiobook was top-tier duet narration and a full cast.

This felt very Butcher and Blackbird coded. Both main characters are serial killers, but the twist is they only kill bad people. They’re sent to an island for something called Sinners Retreat, which is basically a getaway for serial killers to let loose and hunt. I know that sounds insane, but the plot was actually super fun and had this weirdly playful, lighthearted vibe. Just trust me on this one😅😂

It’s definitely an insta-love situation, and I didn’t even care because it worked. The story was fast-paced, the relationship was fast-paced, and I ate it the hell up.

Surprisingly, I really enjoyed the conflict in this one too (not something I usually say), and the resolution hit perfectly.

I will say, I probably am never going to look at a pineapple, the same though. LB ALWAYS HAS TO THROW IN THE MOST UNHINGED SHIT EVEN IN HER LIGHTHEARTED BOOKS😅😭😂 After the scene I was like hmmmm I hope he gets a book lmao

If you’re in the mood for a silly little serial-killer good time with a kickass audiobook, a quick-moving story that never feels rushed, and absolutely no brainpower required pick this one up. I freaking loved it. AND I AM SAVED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF MY SLUMP

[✨️ Jessica's Bookshelf ✨️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one has me hooked from page 1. If you enjoyed Lights Out, then this is the book for you. It has all the same vibes. This has all the funny sexy, serial killer in love vibes.

[Kelsey H · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 25%

I think this book tried too hard to be like Butcher & Blackbird, but I was just not enjoying it. I didn't really find it all that funny, and there were a few ick moments (surprisingly not murder-related) that I just couldn't get past.

I gave it a go, but it just fell short for me. And I had high hopes going into it :/

[Emms-hiatus(ish) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t laugh. Not once. I didn’t even get a smile or smirk. This was the equivalent of constant poop and fart jokes that aren’t funny.

Nothing about this story feels believable. The banter didn’t banter, the side characters were annoying, and the pineapple scene is overhyped and all of it feels forced and unnatural.

[monica ✨ romantasyreader · Rating 2 out of 5]

I should’ve dnfd

Best thing about this was the full cast duet narration 😇

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ while I did enjoy this book overall, I think I was expecting more going into it after hearing so many great reviews. But hey that’s the best thing about reading, everyone doesn’t enjoy the same thing.

[Darlene I read WAY to many books · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

And island for killers to relax and play for sport!! A dream for them, lol.
Kindra is a unaliver who's on the hunt for her brothers killer, which she only has little clues of. She also has a "friend" Cat who wants to help and become a unaliver to. They have a plan, but not all plans go accordingly.

Ezra is going to this island with his brother they go every year, and he already has a kill lined up. But he meets Kindra, and things take a turn between them. One night turns into more. Lots of push/pull vibes between them. Ezra has a dirty mouth, and boy, I wanted to fan myself. I really did enjoy the group killings. Accept for poor Cat, she never got a chance.. I wonder if she'll kill someone?!

We have secerts being kept, betraying lots of spice!! My heart broke for Mav when we heard his story.

I think the 2nd book is the brother and the best friend. Hopefully, this "hate" gets over fast. They fight so much. And cross fingers Cat gets her first kill.


No ow/om drama, no cheating, secondary characters, drama, sexy times, no virgins

Recommend-yes
Cover-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Heat level-🌶🌶🌶

Slowburnish
Push/pull
36H/idk how old h is I'm say 20s
Hidden identities
Things done to human hearts but not in a “Don’t Stop” kind of way
“Ghost Peen”
Masturbation
Choking
Tiny bdsm/Bondage
Macabre retreat activities
Gorey hobbies
Chainsaw, hammer, or drill?
A romantic disembodied hand
Cum-food
Food fucking (by side chara)
Sensual drowning
No condom
Cannibalism non-con
Off page CSA
Hea
Epilogue

[CriSsStina · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ✨️✨️✨️✨️

This was definitely a little bit different than what Lauren usually writes. Sure, there were some quirky and shocking things, but they blended in nicely into the story.

I liked both main characters. And also the supporting ones. Can't wait for the next one in the series.

Even though a rom-com, it does deal with a bunch of serious triggers, since it's centered around serial killers, you could imagine what those could be 🫣.

I felt like the end was rushed. So much buildup for the secret, and bam, it was fixed quite easily, in my opinion. I needed him to work more for the fact that he lied to her 😀.

But I did like their HEA. I needed an extended epilogue. I suppose we will see this couple in the next book, hence the lack of a proper epilogue, after a few years or something 🥹😌..

[Mysti · Rating 5 out of 5]

UPDATED review with additional read dates.

I've concluded that there is definitely something wrong with Lauren Biel. That woman writes the craziest stuff!!! FYI, she is also NEVER invited to the cookout! Like, ever. Anyway..... LB delivers her most hilarious book yet. A woman who can write horror, love, and comedy is a dangerous creature! There were several times I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.

He’s the main character in my fantasies, after all.

Kindra Amato (25-ish, serial killer) uses her day job as a reporter to track the identities of sexual predators, then uses her night job as The Heartbreak Killer to make them repent.

“No, no, no! Not the pineapple, Kindra. Not the fucking pineapple!”

She has the misfortune of attracting a stalker-ish fangirl, Cat, who wants to be just like her. When Cat learns that Kindra is trying to track down the person who killed her brother, she somehow manages to get them booked on a tropical vaca for fellow serials. The trip hits a little turbulence when she and Cat share a plane with an incredibly witty, sexy man...

“You make everything easy, especially loving you.”

Ezra Carter (36, private investigator, The Abattoir Adonis) and his brother Bennett are taking a little family vaca to blow off some steam. He never expected to meet his true love who just happens to share his favorite hobby!

If I were a man who believed in kismet, I would have seen this as a sign from the heavens. Fortunately, I believe the only luck we have is that which we make for ourselves, and I plan to make my own luck with her.

Everyone arrives at the island for the craziest retreat you will ever read.

I don’t expect God’s blessing, but Lucifer isn’t offering me a deal, either. And I would give him whatever he wants if I could have her. My soul and eternal damnation in exchange for a single lifetime of her love.

Bowling, fireworks, "if you like piña cum-ladas...", Sponge Bob SquarePants, scuba diving, "is this actually mayo?", asses in the air, bondage, Pineapples, drowning, Grim's dangling doodle, cattle calls, and a very happy HFN.

“For you, I’m free for the rest of my life.”

SEX: Our girl LB delivered us right into heaven at 16% with no condoms!!! Thank you Jebus! I loved that we got to some good parts quickly. Sadly, there was a long lag in the middle of the book, but we ended with another big one and it's delicious. No kink is off limits!

LOVE: Such an adorable love story! I love how much Ezra falls for her. The way they bond and the things they bond over - epic. I could literally feel the hearts in his eyes. I wouldn't change a single fucking thing about these two.

LAUGHS: Seriously, tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.

SIDE PIECES: Good lord. The first time I read this, I got a little annoyed at Cat because she ALWAYS interrupts sexy times! She's so damn needy!! The only thing that kept me from really hating her is the combo of Cat and Bennett. They are fucking hilarious together. The other players provided a lot of comedic moments as well.

TRIGGERS: You need to know there's a LOT of killing in this fic, and none of it is clean or sanitary. You pretty much have to abandon all logic and gag reflexes on the first page. I've decided not to list the specific triggers because they will definitely give away some of the best parts. Just know that absolutely NOTHING is off the table.

AUDIO: Get the freaking audiobook! It's freaking PERFECT!!! Plus, it has a full cast. Shane East is his perfectly sexy self as Ezra and Angelina Rocca is amazing as Kindra. The rest of the cast couldn't possibly be more perfect. Alexis Paige for Cat, Sean Masters as Bennett (JFC he's sexy), and finally Gregory Salinas as Maverick. When I tell you this audio is worth every penny, I mean IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY. Perfectly cast and perfectly acted. FYI, I did read the book the first time around and definitely recommend the audio.

I recommend this to anyone and everyone.

I definitely recommend this fic.

[Katie Beasley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to enjoy this one more than I did. It felt like it was trying a little bit too hard, and though the characters made me laugh I just had a hard time engaging and connecting with them and the storyline to be honest. This was definitely trying to be Lights Out with the darker subjects and the amount of steam, but it did not feel as natural to me. I did listen to this one and had a hard time with the female narrator which may have been why I had a harder time with Kendra. She just was a little bit annoying for me. I get that she had walls up because of what happened with her brother, but she was trying too hard to push people away. I did like how outlandish the murder island was. The way that all of the activities were setup around killing the scum of the Earth was hilarious to me. The way that both of these characters could have a normal conversation while trying to have someone attacked by a shark was shocking and hilarious. I liked Ezra. I am loving when the guy falls first and hard, and though they did have a connection I had a hard time seeing how FAST these two fell. We are talking a one night stand turned into maybe 5 days. I liked how Ezra was not intimidated by how strong Kendra was but how in fact he relished it. Loved that about her. I liked the side characters- the tension between Bennett and Cat was electric! I felt like they added the humor- looking at you Bennett’s pineapple scene.

Kendra has found herself invited to the exclusive murder island this year, and she has one mission and one mission only. To find her brother’s killer. The reason for her now being the killer she is is because of that person. Kendra finds the depraved and makes justice happen to them. Before they get to the island though she has a glorious night with an English stranger. One who pushes her limits and makes her wonder if their connection was more than just in the bedroom. But she has to focus. So color her shocked when Ezra (her one night stand) is also at Murder Island. In fact he is a regular of Murder Island. Now she is distracted by how this stranger makes her feel and how she can be so open with someone she just met. She feels like she has known him for so long even though it hasn’t been long at all. The more she hangs out with him though she more she realizes she is losing focus on her goal. It seems like Ezra might know who he is since he has been in this world longer. More clues turn up about who he could be but then her past comes to bite her. And all was not as it seems as she learns the true reason her brother was killer and who was responsible. Kendra has to ask herself what to believe and figure out if she is able to move past this for the man of her literal dreams.

Ezra is on the way to his favorite time of year- Murder Island. It’s where a bunch of killers are on an island for a week of vacation, murder and mayhem. Before they get to the island though, he meets Kendra. And they share a magical night together. She lets him use some of his kinks on her and feels more connected to her than he has with other loves. Too bad they will probably never see each other again. But then she ends up being on the island with him. What is her killer name? Could she the killer he wants to meet so badly? The one he has always admired from a far. But the more he talks with Kendra the more he realizes how much their pasts intertwine. The more he has to question whether what he feels for her is worth pursuing because when she finds out about his past she may not be able to forgive him. But he is too far gone now and has to hope beyond all hope that they will be able to try something after the island.

This was overall a good but not great read in my opinion. Heavier on the spice than the plot and character development. Tried a little too hard with some things in my opinion. Though I liked Cat and Bennett, I am still on the fence about if I will be reading their book or not.

[⦻ eyeless jack ⦻ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this but I think dark romcoms maybe just aren’t for me. Well-written, I love Biel’s style, the characters and story in this one just fell super flat for me. Plus a lot of the comedy was “bathroom humor,” which I just don’t find funny. All the characters just came off as very unlikeable to me too, so I didn’t particularly care what happened to any of them (DNFed at 30ish%). I love serial killer romances but I think I prefer them just dark, the romCOM aspect of dark romances is too cringey for me, which is a personal issue and absolutely no hate or shade to the author whatsoever!
If you like insta-lust, hidden identities, and plus-sized FMCs, this might be the book for you. If you love cats though, I’d avoid it (no animal harm, just lots of cat-slander).

[Krysta ꕤ]

need something short and unserious, heard this has similar vibes to butcher & blackbird 👀

[Chelsie Lucas · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wanted to be butcher and blackbird so bad but came up so short.
The two serial killers and MMC being all in and FmC being black cat and the bff being a bit crazy.
Silly killing sprees and unwanted cannibalism —- but instead of it working it fell so. So short.
It’s all semen jokes and unlikable characters.
A shit brother instead of a found family feeling.
An ongoing secret that was so. So boring to listen to and was not a shock at all.
The plot was so thin it was see through. And the spice was not spicy at all.
The only thing that kept me going was my curiosity to see how it was wrapped up and I was so disappointed.
So anti climactic and even the epilogue was poo

Just skip this and read Brynn Weaver like you need to- she does killers and humor in a fun way— and if you just want a killer and no humor — she has books for that too.

The writing was not BAD in this book. Let me make that clear — it was just boring.

[The Sewist's Bookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐ 4.5
🌶️ 2.5
🥵 Spicy chapters: 7, 9, 18, 32-33
📚 Tropes/Themes: serial killers in love, secret identity, protective MMC, vacation fling, one night stand to relationship
👀 Dual POV 1st person
💔 Triggers: realistically, just all the triggers. This is a serial killer rom-com so they touch on a lot of things. There's lots of graphic descriptions of gore and violence, as well as mentions of different types of sexual and violent crimes against children and adults. And cannibalism.

💬 Hahahaha this book is hilarious 😂 I've always kind of wanted to read a Lauren Biel book, but knowing that she's more of a horror romance writer kind of kept me away. However when I saw that she had this out, which is more of a dark rom-com, I decided to go for it. And I'm glad I did, because I could not stop laughing.

There's just so many hilarious one-liners in here, and I loved the little relationships between the characters: Ezra and his brother Bennett always bickering, or the way Kindra is so annoyed by Cat but keeps her around. And then the way Cat and Bennett obviously "hate" each other 😂

And obviously Ezra and Kindra 🥹 the way he's so protective of her just had me swooning. That boy fell so hard for her.

Probably the only thing that stuck out that I didn't totally enjoy was the references to her being "curvy". I appreciate the plus size (well, I guess she's probably mid size) representation but it always annoys me when they keep talking about it. It's really only happened maybe 4 or 5 times in the book but I think it's a pet peeve of mine so I was probably hypersensitive to it.

I also felt like the wrap up/acceptance to the drama/ climax was a little fast. It's hard to explain it without giving the ending away and I don't know where else I could have gone to be honest but something about it just felt like it came out of the blue.

Finally, I'd like to ask for a moment of silence for that poor pineapple 😩

[Zizi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was pretty funny and entertaining. As I continued reading, it started to feel too similar to "Butcher and Blackbird" by Brynne Weaver.

[mena ౨ৎ · Rating 1 out of 5]

no. just no.

[Tisa Matthews · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gives major Butcher and Blackbird vibes… dare I say, I loved it even more 👀

[laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

to everyone saying this is similar to butcher and blackbird, why would you lie like that? he keeps calling her ‘pet’ every two damn phrases and it’s giving me the ick so i’m gonna DNF ❤️ this book isn’t worth the time, don’t let anyone fool you.

[Angelina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sinner’s Retreat is basically a rom-com… but make it stabby. 🤭 Think serial killers on vacation, dark jokes flying, and somehow a super sweet cinnamon-roll love interest who also might be a murderer. It’s gory, spicy, and absolutely ridiculous—in the best way. Not for the faint of heart, but if you like your romance with knives and giggles, you’ll eat this up.

[Melany · Rating 3 out of 5]

This truly had an interesting premise. I loved how unique it was and the interesting twist. I was so curious to see how it'd play out. I enjoyed this one, but it wasn't anything super exciting or hold my attention enough to keep moving forward with the series

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read (listen) 2/21/25
Happy audio drop day! Loved it just as much the second time around!

Read 10/5-10/6/24
4.5/5 ⭐️
2.5/5 🌶️

I think this book solidified my favorite niche subgenre! I’m a big dark rom-com fan. I loved B&B and Lights Out. This book is right up there with them. It will definitely be added to my rotation of books I reread.

Serial Killers ✔️
Plus size FMC ✔️
Hot British MMC ✔️
Goofy side characters ✔️
Banter ✔️
Spicy Spice ✔️

[Lia Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book but I found myself never reaching for it. In all honestly the premise was great, but the fact that the MMC had this big secret throughout the entirety of the book was exhausting. The story just dragged for way too long and I was annoyed by the lack of plot in the middle.

[Karla K · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 20% - the jokes in the dialogue made my brain want to melt, I’m positive one of the earlier lines went a little something like “the veins in her arm were like the great London fire….. completely destroyed”

The trenches!

[Rebekah Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

laughed so much

This book was the rom com I needed. After so many dark romances this rom com did the job! If you need a laugh, this is the book for you.

[Maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark romcom? Sign me up! I loved everything about this book. I mean who wouldn’t want to gather a bunch of serial killers and put them all in a secluded island. Plus you’ve got two serial killers who secretly admire the other’s handiwork, but don’t know their real identities. And a hot one night stand turns out to also be going to the same place?

This book took gore and also lightened up the mood with humor. I mean we love a non-consensual cannibalism moment. And I’ll never look at a pineapple the same way.

I enjoyed watching Kindra’s personal growth throughout the story. Seeing her come to terms with losing her brother. And hello Ezra, I see you. I loved the two of them together. I also really enjoyed the side characters. I’m glad we got to see Kindra accept Cat’s friendship and loved the brotherly connection between Bennett and Ezra. I’m so excited for the next book and to see what goes down between Maverick and Cat. Plus who doesn’t love being stuck in an Alaskan winter together.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not for me, but I sincerely believe it might be for you. Sinner’s Retreat is a campy, gory, silly, smutty, absurd romp. If you’re in the mood for a quick read without ANY emotional depth, this could be a good choice.

If you hate Instalove (I do), this is not for you. The spice starts at like the 10 or 15% mark and from there on there is zero emotional development between the characters. They fall in love within a week and I couldn’t tell you why.

The murder retreat is a silly, graphic good time, but because the lack of emotional connection or depth, I was very bored by the 60% mark. I was power reading so it could be over.

People who compare this to Butcher & Blackbird are both right and wrong. The serial killer and gory vibes are the same. But there is zero longing or angst.

Still, if you just want some mindless fun—you might like it. I, unfortunately, need more.

[Tay_is_reading_again · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was not for me. I LOVE a dark rom com but I didn’t connect with the humor on this one. The humor is very fart and poop joke focused rather than witty or inner monologue. Additionally, there was a ton of gore just to add some shock value. There were also too many other ick moments for me….

(SPOILERS)

A side character fucking a pineapple?! The MMC cumming pina colada mix and serving “pina cumlada?!” And the cannibalism that kept coming up but for no good reason?

I was hoping for a smuttier butcher and blackbird but this was a miss for me.

Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

[Clairsreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been anticipating this release since the queen of dark romance announced her foray into the dark romcom sector of the romance world. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the absolute journey this book took me on and I LOVED IT.

Kindra is a well known serial unaliver on a mission. Her brother was killed when they were kids by another one of her kind and she is determined to find the culprit and make him pay for the loss of her family. When her protege scores them an invite to the elusive “Sinners Retreat” she decides to make the best of it hoping to get to the bottom of her lifelong revenge mission. The first time Ezra see Kindra he is immediately taken by her and knows he has to have her. When they both realize that they’re headed to the same destination things just start heating up.

As events occur on the island both Kindra and Ezra are hiding secrets that will change their budding relationship forever. The band of serial unalivers on this island are an absolute riot. All the “group activities” were appalling but also made me laugh out loud. I loved the tension and angst with Kindra’s black cat behavior slowly getting broken down by our cinnamon roll Ezra and his need to reassure and comfort her. Also the banter between Cat and Beckett? Top notch.

I feel like I should’ve seen the first twist coming…yet I didn’t. And when all the literal sh*t hits the fan and the hits just keep coming….wow. Just wow. This was SUCH a fun foray into a new genre for Lauren and I really hope she keeps it up.

While I could’ve lived without a few bodily function details….👀
This was a really good time!!! I am crossing my fingers Cat and Beckett are next because I just know the enemies to lovers vibe will be my absolute jam.

[Kimberley Myers · Rating 4 out of 5]

NOT THE FUCKING PINEAPPLE 🍍

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️ (I was expecting so much smuttier tbh)

-Dark romcom 🖤
-Black cat x cinnamon roll 🐈‍⬛
-Curvy FMC 🔥
-Forced proximity 🥵
-BANTER! ✅

If you loved Butcher & Blackbird and Lights Out, this is definitely, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, your cup of tea ☕️

Is it a bit silly? Yes of course. It’s about a tropical retreat for serial killers to go on a killing spree. But the proper LAUGH OUT LOUD moments I had from start to finish, this was a FUN time.

The banter between all the characters. The “oh fuck that’s cringe” moments that were perfectly timed. Just the absurdity of some situations. It all worked for me.

Ate this bitch up in 24 hours and I can’t wait for Cat and Bennett’s story now 🙊