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My Grief Jar: Still Growing After the Loss of My Daughter
My Grief Jar is not simply a memoir about loss. It's a deeply moving story about love, resilience, and finding purpose when you feel like a stranger in your own life. Through honoring her daughter's memory, Debbie learns the surprising ways life can take root again when we least expect it.
When Debbie walks into a dog agility class with her late daughter's golden retriever, it's the last place she ever imagined she'd be. Just a week earlier, her 29-year-old daughter, Kelsey, passed away without warning. For years, Kelsey had lived with unexplained medical issues that no number of doctors or treatments could resolve—and despite Debbie's tireless efforts, she couldn't saver her.
Kelsey's final wish was simple yet profound: for her golden retriever, Brody, to become a therapy dog. A dream left unrealized—until Debbie decides to fulfill it herself. As she stumbles through the darkness of her grief, she begins to uncover something she thought was gone forever—hope.
311 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 25, 2024
9 people are currently reading
677 people want to read
About the author
Deborah Waffle
1 book10 followersDeborah Waffle taught second and fourth grade for 33 years and is now retired. She and Marty have been together for over 40 years. They currently reside in Broadalbin, New York. Deborah and Brody visit several different medical facilities once or twice a week as a therapy dog team. Brody brings smiles to all the people and patients he meets.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 14, 2024
Inspirational, Intense Memoir
I purchased this book for several reasons in no particular order. I really like reading true stories of overcoming struggles and finding a way to survive and even thrive. I love kids and find it particularly hard when they are hurting in any way. As a Christian, I believe we should all help bear one another's burdens... I have suffered two significant losses within an 8 month period --one is my dearly loved mom in mid July 2023 when she passed rather suddenly. The other occurred in March of 2024, not through death but this person was significant to me and to be honest, felt almost like losing someone similar to a sister or caring best friend. Not only did I lose that person but it was over an issue that blindsided me but she will not communicate to allow closure.
Anyway, I found this story so compelling I was completely drawn in. I think not only because Debbie writes beautifully but she is just so genuine and down to earth! I felt like we could be friends if we'd met in person and also, I couldn't imagine how awful it would be to find your precious child deceased! It was hard enough losing my mom but she had a long life; Kelsey was taken when some of the best times are just beginning to bloom.
This was and is a wonderful and strong family! And very early on, Kelsey began feeling ill. Like most people, these parents did whatever they possibly could to get to the bottom of things and find answers as to her severe pain and issues with her urinary function and her female parts. They traveled, researched, were emotionally supportive and did what they could. But as can be the case with all children, things can happen in the blink of an eye that you have no way of knowing or preparing for! You can only look back and wish to turn back time so you could change the outcome. I have been through that also and still go through it at times.
The photos really added to this book! Kelsey is beautiful and to me, her eyes show wisdom, understanding and a spiritual perspective she may not have displayed or discussed. She may have even had a premonition her life might not last as long. And the dogs are adorable! I saw the photo of the puppy Brody and found myself wanting to hug him, what a sweet boy! Deb and Marty also have a son who showed such quiet strength though I'm sure he was in pain as well.
Really nothing negative about this book except I wish it didn't have to happen and Kelsey was still with her family here on earth. I truly believe one day they will meet again!
I purchased this book for several reasons in no particular order. I really like reading true stories of overcoming struggles and finding a way to survive and even thrive. I love kids and find it particularly hard when they are hurting in any way. As a Christian, I believe we should all help bear one another's burdens... I have suffered two significant losses within an 8 month period --one is my dearly loved mom in mid July 2023 when she passed rather suddenly. The other occurred in March of 2024, not through death but this person was significant to me and to be honest, felt almost like losing someone similar to a sister or caring best friend. Not only did I lose that person but it was over an issue that blindsided me but she will not communicate to allow closure.
Anyway, I found this story so compelling I was completely drawn in. I think not only because Debbie writes beautifully but she is just so genuine and down to earth! I felt like we could be friends if we'd met in person and also, I couldn't imagine how awful it would be to find your precious child deceased! It was hard enough losing my mom but she had a long life; Kelsey was taken when some of the best times are just beginning to bloom.
This was and is a wonderful and strong family! And very early on, Kelsey began feeling ill. Like most people, these parents did whatever they possibly could to get to the bottom of things and find answers as to her severe pain and issues with her urinary function and her female parts. They traveled, researched, were emotionally supportive and did what they could. But as can be the case with all children, things can happen in the blink of an eye that you have no way of knowing or preparing for! You can only look back and wish to turn back time so you could change the outcome. I have been through that also and still go through it at times.
The photos really added to this book! Kelsey is beautiful and to me, her eyes show wisdom, understanding and a spiritual perspective she may not have displayed or discussed. She may have even had a premonition her life might not last as long. And the dogs are adorable! I saw the photo of the puppy Brody and found myself wanting to hug him, what a sweet boy! Deb and Marty also have a son who showed such quiet strength though I'm sure he was in pain as well.
Really nothing negative about this book except I wish it didn't have to happen and Kelsey was still with her family here on earth. I truly believe one day they will meet again!
November 22, 2024
A compelling read!!!
I just finished this book. It is a great read. While we have all experienced the loss of someone we love in death, losing a child is different. It is next-level grief. It does not compare to the loss of a parent, sibling, or a mate. This book is a very real and raw account of what that grief and loss is like.
My reaction to the book was visceral. It reached me down to my core and reached me in places in my body that I didn't even know I had. I have read personal stories of people in the past who have endured tragedy and have felt bad for them but because I know Marty (Debbie's husband) personally, I did not have that, "safe distance" between myself and the writer. This account was unbelievably real and raw to me in a way that reading about someone I don't know could not be.
There are so many lessons to be learned from reading this book:
The book has made me really appreciate how important it is to show kindness. I worked with Marty all these years and had no idea what he and Debbie and his family were going through during the years they cared for their daughter. I did not know what he was carrying with him to work every day. When we approach people in our daily travels, even just making eye contact and sharing a smile may go a long way toward making someone's day better because you never know the burdens they are carrying with them.
I also feel like the book taught me in a very real way that not all illness is obvious. I think I knew this before but this book drove it home to me. I looked at the pictures of Kelsey included in the book and I saw a beautiful young women. Had I met her in person, I would never have guessed how severe her illness was nor how much pain she may have been in. The book reminded me that we don't always see someone's illness. So, we need to be compassionate and not judge anyone by what appears to us We should never trivialize what they are experiencing just because we cannot see it. If we don't know what to say, just a kind touch or hug may be what they need that minute.
I also connected on a personal level with the grief and anger and helplessness a person feels when caring for a family member who has a debilitating illness from which they will not ever recover. I lost my mother in 2018 and my family and I went through a lot for the year leading up to the time she died. Debbie describes the feelings, the stress, the anger, and the many other emotions that we go through when caring for a family member with incredible openness and honesty. She talks about those feelings we all have at times like this but might feel guilty about sharing out loud. I applaud the courage it took to write those feelings down and share it with us. This book will help you touch base with those feelings you have if you are a caregiver and help you know that you are not alone.
Her writing style is so real that you can feel like you are standing beside her as she describes these events and what her grief is like. I appreciate that we never get over the grief we experience when we lose someone we love ... we only learn to live with it ... eventually.
Debbie, I hope your grief jar continues to grow bigger and bigger.
I just finished this book. It is a great read. While we have all experienced the loss of someone we love in death, losing a child is different. It is next-level grief. It does not compare to the loss of a parent, sibling, or a mate. This book is a very real and raw account of what that grief and loss is like.
My reaction to the book was visceral. It reached me down to my core and reached me in places in my body that I didn't even know I had. I have read personal stories of people in the past who have endured tragedy and have felt bad for them but because I know Marty (Debbie's husband) personally, I did not have that, "safe distance" between myself and the writer. This account was unbelievably real and raw to me in a way that reading about someone I don't know could not be.
There are so many lessons to be learned from reading this book:
The book has made me really appreciate how important it is to show kindness. I worked with Marty all these years and had no idea what he and Debbie and his family were going through during the years they cared for their daughter. I did not know what he was carrying with him to work every day. When we approach people in our daily travels, even just making eye contact and sharing a smile may go a long way toward making someone's day better because you never know the burdens they are carrying with them.
I also feel like the book taught me in a very real way that not all illness is obvious. I think I knew this before but this book drove it home to me. I looked at the pictures of Kelsey included in the book and I saw a beautiful young women. Had I met her in person, I would never have guessed how severe her illness was nor how much pain she may have been in. The book reminded me that we don't always see someone's illness. So, we need to be compassionate and not judge anyone by what appears to us We should never trivialize what they are experiencing just because we cannot see it. If we don't know what to say, just a kind touch or hug may be what they need that minute.
I also connected on a personal level with the grief and anger and helplessness a person feels when caring for a family member who has a debilitating illness from which they will not ever recover. I lost my mother in 2018 and my family and I went through a lot for the year leading up to the time she died. Debbie describes the feelings, the stress, the anger, and the many other emotions that we go through when caring for a family member with incredible openness and honesty. She talks about those feelings we all have at times like this but might feel guilty about sharing out loud. I applaud the courage it took to write those feelings down and share it with us. This book will help you touch base with those feelings you have if you are a caregiver and help you know that you are not alone.
Her writing style is so real that you can feel like you are standing beside her as she describes these events and what her grief is like. I appreciate that we never get over the grief we experience when we lose someone we love ... we only learn to live with it ... eventually.
Debbie, I hope your grief jar continues to grow bigger and bigger.
August 25, 2025
This is a compelling read not only for its subject matter but for the beautiful way it was written.
When I first ordered this book to consider for The Future Famous Authors Book Club, I thought, a non fiction book about grief, I don’t see that happening.
But this book is so much more than that. The first half is about family and unconditional love and the struggles of chronic pain and it keeps you turning pages. Then the book becomes about Debbie Waffels struggles with grief and how she so beautifully navigated it with the help of Brody.
So if you need a book to help you through grief get this one.
If you don’t read it anyway because it reads like narrative and it is entirely compelling.
When I first ordered this book to consider for The Future Famous Authors Book Club, I thought, a non fiction book about grief, I don’t see that happening.
But this book is so much more than that. The first half is about family and unconditional love and the struggles of chronic pain and it keeps you turning pages. Then the book becomes about Debbie Waffels struggles with grief and how she so beautifully navigated it with the help of Brody.
So if you need a book to help you through grief get this one.
If you don’t read it anyway because it reads like narrative and it is entirely compelling.
November 1, 2025
This book is a Gift for the Brokenhearted ❤️
I cried I smiled I searched my heart I searched my soul I tucked away in my being each word written to hold close and search for how to make my jar bigger. Thank you Debbie for opening up your heart break to help all the rest of us know we aren’t alone and we can survive even when we don’t feel like we can.
I cried I smiled I searched my heart I searched my soul I tucked away in my being each word written to hold close and search for how to make my jar bigger. Thank you Debbie for opening up your heart break to help all the rest of us know we aren’t alone and we can survive even when we don’t feel like we can.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews