Casei com um Psicopata

by Mary Turner Thomson, Aline Zouvi (translator)

Até que o crime nos separe   Prepare-se para ler um true crime que irá prender você desde a primeira página. Casei com um Psicopata, novo lançamento da marca Crime Scene® na DarkSide® Books, é um relato corajoso e arrepiante que mergulha nas profundezas do relacionamento destrutivo com um verdadeiro psicopata. Mary Turner Thomson estava casada com seu charmoso marido Will Jordan por quatro anos e criando os filhos do casal quando sua vida se desfez com um telefonema. A pessoa que ligou era "a outra sra. Jordan". Casei com um Psicopata mergulha na história do relacionamento abusivo e tóxico de Mary com um homem que inicialmente parecia perfeito, mas que escondia uma personalidade psicopática e manipuladora. O bígamo, vigarista e criminoso sexual condenado deixou mulheres e famílias destruídas no Reino Unido, México e Estados Unidos. Com frieza, inteligência e nenhum remorso, ele exerceu controle implacável em todas as parceiras com quem se relacionava enquanto as explorava emocional e financeiramente. As promessas vazias e os comportamentos inconsistentes do seu marido começaram a fazer sentido para Mary, e ela buscou compreender mais sobre a mente e os atos de seu parceiro. Casei com um Psicopata expõe as mentiras, manipulações e traições que consumiram a vida de Mary, e lança luz sobre a mente desses indivíduos e as táticas insidiosas que eles usam para obter controle sobre suas vítimas. A história de Mary Turner Thomson tem sido uma fonte de inspiração para muitas mulheres, encorajando-as a buscar ajuda e a tomar medidas contra relacionamentos abusivos. O caso também inspirou Jon Ronson a escrever o livro best-seller O Teste Psicopata, onde ele examina os psicopatas que geralmente associamos ao termo — assassinos impiedosos e cruéis —, mas também os manipuladores que ocupam posições de poder em empresas, governos e até estruturas familiares. Com sua história, Mary ajuda a discutir manipulações psicológicas e traz acolhimento e força para aqueles que estão presos em relacionamentos dessa natureza, mostrando que é possível se libertar e reconstruir uma vida plena. Uma leitura necessária que nos faz refletir sobre a complexidade dos relacionamentos e o mundo sombrio que habita o outro.

Genres: Nonfiction, True Crime, Memoir, Psychology, Crime, Biography, Ebooks

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 1, 2021

Reviews

[Sarah - All The Book Blog Names Are Taken · Rating 1 out of 5]

My bad, this was my Prime First Reads pick for the month. I tried and tried, made it to 31% before I had to DNF. So much repetition, particularly continuing to say his full name every time she mentioned him by name. It was so annoying to constantly come across ‘Will Jordan’. We know who you’re talking about, you don’t have to keep adding on his last name. The writing is not very polished and there’s a lot of awkward phrasing. I also find it incredibly dangerous to diagnose someone with a mental illness without being qualified to do so.

[Nina (ninjasbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how the author showed that knowledge is power. By understanding who her former husband was, she was able to shed the guilt and shame slowly. This wasn’t just her story however, but also the other victims experiences.

[Kristi Lamont · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm awfully glad I didn't pay good money for this book.

For that matter, I'm awfully glad I didn't pay _bad_ money for this book. It was one of those free Kindle reads from Amazon, and boy do I feel like I wasted my choice this month. Because?

Because it was repetitive. And repeated itself. And kept saying the same thing. And then expressed the same thoughts. Over. And over. And over. And over.

Again.

Also, the author and whatever editors/publisher she had along the way committed the cardinal sin of thinking every reader would come to The Psychopath: A True Story having already read her first memoir.

Alas and alack.....

Please note that my reaction to this book should in no way be construed as thinking her story is not an important one. It is, and I'm thankful she's out there telling it and trying to help others. I just think if someone needs to learn about this topic, including through learning about real-life examples of psychopaths, they would be better served by reading some psychological research papers and the news than this mishmash of a rehash.

[Pug · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sounds to me like the author might have narcissistic tendencies, too....

With a title like this, I expected this book to be way more interesting.

The only chapter I really enjoyed was the one where she compared things her husband had done to the Psychopath Personality Scale (or whatever it's called).

Then she moved back over to herself and her book deal and "the other wife." Ad naseum.

[Bonnie DeMoss · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s a decent follow up to The Bigamist, but still rehashes a lot of the same things. Also the author threw in current politics without any warning. I make it a point not to read current politics, and I did not appreciate that being snuck in on me. She is also diagnosing people without a medical degree.

[BAM doesn’t answer to her real name · Rating 4 out of 5]

AND THIS IS WHY I DONT DATE
THAT IS ALL

[Sharon Yang · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writing in this is awful.

[Mackenzie Kavanagh · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐ 2.5

An interesting read in places but I feel the title is clickbait as in reality it is mostly about her recovery from her relationship and how she helped others in her situation. It was quite repetitive explaining over and over that psychopaths are born without empathy but sociopaths are born empathetic then lose the ability to empathise due to trauma. It annoyed me that she seemed so proud that she knew what the difference was as if it was a hard concept to grasp.
I felt like she tried to put too many ideas in one book- some chapters solely about the excitement of a book tour and some irrelevant conversations that happened there or some pub she had access to, and others are about her ex's behaviour and his movements after their split. Sticking to some kind of theme would have made it more coherent and engaging.

[Madeleine Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so excited to read this follow up to The Bigamist by Mary Turner Thomson. In the years that have followed since her first book, she has become an expert in Psychopaths and has developed huge understanding and insights into the subject

Her book is written in a very open and honest way and she is dedicated to preventing others from falling for a psychopath, ending the shame for other victims and helping them to find their voice too.

Her ex was a psychopath con man who actively impregnates women to rip them off for money and she claimed that he would never stop. And he didn't! It was hard to keep up with the number of women he went on to con. There were so many that they even started their own facebook group

I am inspired by her strength and ability to heal after such an abusive relationship. She has become a strong, positive and happy women who is shining her light for others

This book feels part memoir/part text book. It is a story of grit, determination and hope.

"So I decided that this was a golden opportunity to teach them never to let the world beat them down and always rise up again no matter what happens to you"

[Heather R · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, this one was painful to try to get through. Oof!

If you want an excellent, well-written book about a true psychopath, I recommend “Surviving Dirty John” by Debra Newell.

[Mary O'Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg I went through this too and you have helped me

Mary even our 1st names are the same, I was married to a psychopath who was a fraudster, sex offender, gaslight me abs and had affairs. Like you I have picked myself up but 2 out of my 3 children blame me for their problems as they say I caused it by marrying him. This book made me feel I wasn't to blame. I can't thank you enough x

[Katie.dorny · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title and synopsis are misleading. This book is mostly about the author and then some about the psychopath in question who the author has diagnosed as a psychopath but could also be a million different things allegedly (though he has done and seems to continue to do some disgusting, alarming and criminal things).

Following on from her first book the bigamist in which Ms Thompson details the breakdown of her marriage and world after discovering the truth about her husband. If the book had been pitched as that, I would probably have enjoyed it more. Maybe. The writing was very basic and the writing very me based look how amazing I AM which is great to build your confidence up but also I get it. You’re killing life. Can we get to the story now?

However, that never came.

Book provided in exchange for a free review. Glad I didn’t purchase this one myself.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was not my favorite. My rating on this book is completely dependent on my thoughts about the writing and the way in which the content was presented.
I am in no way making light of what Thomson went through. She has an important story to tell and I’m glad she is speaking out and spreading g awareness.

I will say that while I did appreciate her pointing out the difference between sociopaths, narcissism and psychopaths, she was very repetitive. Her writing was very succinct and she shared information that wasn’t relevant to the topic of the book. At times, I even felt that she came across as very full of herself. Honestly, if I ever ran into her, I would be worried she would be diagnosing me without any qualifications to do so.

I found the first part of this book intriguing but by the end, was ready for it to be over.

[Sammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The eponymous psychopath who is the subject of this non-fiction book is Will Jordan, a man to whom the author, Mary Turner Thomson, was previously married to. The only problem was: so was somebody else.

It soon emerged that Will Jordan was a pathological liar par excellence, and had started fraudulent relationships with so many women that the victims ultimately started a Facebook group to stay in touch with one another. According to his victims, Will Jordan's crimes extended to fraud, bigamy, sexual assault, rape, impersonating various professions (a doctor and a spy being amongst his aliases), as well as being a registered sex offender. He was brazen enough to meet one of his victims in the hospital where he supposedly worked wearing the hospital's own branded scrubs: nevertheless, he also seemingly operated in such a way that his crimes rarely stuck, and he had spent only short remorseless periods in prison for low-level charges, following which he was released again to enter into further relationships. His victims were therefore left to grapple with the fact that the bulk of the destruction he had wrought on them - not the loss of some thousands of pounds, but the discovery that the father of their children was a pathological liar and criminal who no more loved them than anybody else - would go unpunished. It was for this reason that the author, Mary Turner Thomson, made it her next objective to ensure as many people as possible were made aware of Will Jordan and others like him, and indeed through these efforts that many more victims surfaced.

The book is therefore on one hand an account of one man's crimes, and on the other, a layman's study of psychopathy in general. Whilst Will Jordan is an extreme example - indeed, if the book were fiction I'd probably call his character unbelievable - the book claims that up to 10% of the population exhibit some psychopathic traits, most classically a lack of empathy which leads them to remorselessly take advantage of others for their own gain, or sometimes for no gain other than their own entertainment. It's also well-established that amongst the ruling elite, this proportion curiously rises.

And yet, we underestimate the danger they represent. We reassure ourselves that we would notice: how could we, full as we are of feelings, and empathy, and emotional intelligence, fail to notice a psychopath in our midst, much less fall in love with one?

"Victim-blaming," the author writes, "is a form of self-preservation. If people can blame the victim, then they themselves are safe, because they won't be as foolish, or gullible, unattractive or just plain unlucky."

I have to admit I had to pull myself back several times from the same trap of finding myself wondering how a person could be taken in by such incredible stories: a man who is frequently absent without explanation because he is an intelligence agent who has been sent on a foreign mission? Really? And yet, the author pointedly demonstrates how even authority figures such as police were taken in by Will Jordan and the layers of deceit he put in place to corroborate his lies. Effectively, the downfall of we non-psychopaths is that faced with two options: (1) a person is who they say they are or (2) a person is going to absurdly incredible lengths to deceive us, a normal person tends to choose the former. If we assumed the latter of everybody we met until proven otherwise, the world would be a very bleak place.

All in all, an interesting if slightly terrifying read, and I can only wish all of the victims well in moving on from this terrible experience.

[Anna Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

I asked Amazon for a refund for this Kindle book, which they gave me. This book is exacty like reading her first book Bigamist, which I thought was written well. Why did I buy the second one Psychopth?. I believed the writer was going to divulge something she had omitted in Bigamist. It was clear to me in Bigamist that Will was a Naraccistic/Psychopath. We did not need a second book with extracts quoted from other books by renowned Psychologists. If someone can get a book printed that easily, I do not know why I have not written a full library of books myself.

[JenLko · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve not read the first book, The Bigamist, which details the author’s real-life experience married to a bigamist-pedophile-fraudster. This is the follow-up. Perhaps this is where I went wrong.

The main issue is that the author dances around these events without providing sufficient details. Instead, she relies on declarative statements – Will Jordan is a psychopath. He made me sit in a car park for two hours with two small kids because he’s a psychopath and psychopaths are manipulative! This may be factually correct, but you still need to create a narrative by which the reader is able to understand the perspective of the victim. For example: any rational person is going to think, why sit in a carpark for two hours when your spouse said they would only be ten minutes?

Instead, the author is more interested in diagnosing Will Jordan (through she outlines that this is not her aim), she still provides a run-through of PCL-R (Psychopathy Checklist) with examples of Will Jordan’s behaviour. The PCL-R is a clinical tool, used in conjunction with structure interviews and criminal records. While I sympathize with the author, it is very dangerous to promote the diagnosis of personality disorders in ex-partners. The only interesting part of this book is the update of Will Jordan’s activity since 2006. But even that is botched by cut and paste transcripts. In addition, the author talks about her experience as an writer, her book deal, meeting Jon Ronson, even going on Jeremy Kyle, etc… which ultimately sets a disjointed message. Is this an update on a potentially dangerous predator? Or a personal memoir of a writer? Because it doesn’t work as both.

[Chloe Reads Books · Rating 1 out of 5]

The Bigamist - book one - was fantastic.
This was... not.
I appreciate everything Mary's gone through, and her openness to share this is what was fantastic about book one.
This book felt a lot like it could have been a podcast from Mary, updating us on a "Since then X,Y and Z have happened."
Could have done without the random Trump rant too.

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm stopping at page 80. The title is "The Psychopath". The story is not about the "psychopath" Will Jordan. The only one diagnosing Will Jordan as a "psychopath" is the author, and ex-wife. I was concerned when on page 18 she states that the PCL-R should only be administered by licensed clinician in controlled environments, and then in the next 18 pages she "administers" it for him. Besides that, she doesn't keep the story even on her and Will's life. She spends a few pages describing another "psychopath", because she met one of his victims on a television show. She also constantly repeats Will Jordan's full name. I guess in case you forgot it from the last sentence.

Will Jordan is not a decent human being. Will Jordan is a convicted criminal. I am glad I have not met Will Jordan. I am glad the author was able to survive her time with Will Jordan, and has been able to thrive. I wish her well. I won't be reading the rest of this book, and won't be searching out any other books by this author.

DNF

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The subject of this book is awful, but the rendering is factual, honest, and in the end positive and uplifting. It is also well written, reasonably pacy, with just the right amount of science and detail. A warning though, it may have you looking at your partner and identifying sociopathic or malignant narcissistic traits!

[Jennifer Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely phenomenal. The strength Mary has to survive, help and then write this book is breathtaking. The personal insight she is willing to share is humbling. An absolute must read for everyone.

[Maureen Grigsby · Rating 4 out of 5]

And this guy is still out there!

[Jo Wilde · Rating 5 out of 5]

True story and a fascinating read.

[Patricia Hughey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good With Reservations

While I think that this can be an important source of information about sociopaths and psychopaths who are essentially relationship manipulators, the author, Mary Turner Thomson, has some issues in retelling her story. This book follows her first outing on this topic, The Bigamist. She was "married" for a few years, to the now known bigamist, Will Jordan, a rather unimpressive looking man who was able to dupe dozens of women in several countries, and fathered at least fourteen children. There is no doubt that Jordan is a truly horrible person with a serious personality disorder. I found her observations about how to spot a possible offender to be interesting and useful. There was a set pattern in each of his relationships, and most were initiated online. He was smooth, flattering and convincing, even though some of his life stories were ridiculously far fetched. As a consequence, Thomson's unfortunate experiences seem to have made her extremely if not overly sensitive to others and how they speak to her. Her retelling of Jordan's long journey of conquests was often convoluted and sometimes sounded like most of us sound when we try to tell a long story to a friend over lunch. She also wastes an entire chapter on her opinion that President Trump is a "malignant narcissist." At least she doesn't call him a psychopath! And, importantly, she is not a psychiatrist. In spite of these shortcomings, the book is worth reading; perhaps as a warning to the current online dating generation to go slowly and be cautious. I kept recalling that old saying--"If it seems too good to be true it probably is."

[Barbara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lacking Credentials

The author has an interesting story to tell but has no credentials to make the psychiatric diagnosis she makes on numerous people throughout this book.. Her degree is in music. She has absolutely no medical background. For these reasons I cannot recommend this book.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do you do after discovering the person you're married to and raising a family with isn't the person you thought you were? The Psychopath is a personal story by Mary Turner Thompson and her experience being married to William Allen Jordon, a  bigamist, pedophile, and Psychopath among many other things, and gaining the strength to not only leave him, but to help and support other women affected by him.
Thank you to Netgalley, Mart Turner Thompson and Amazon Publishing UK for the opportunity to read and review this book. I am blown away by all Mary endured not only during her marriage to this monster but even after the fact. This was a very interesting and gripping read. Side note: this is not a book for anyone that may get triggered from reading about abusive relationships or molestation. There were definitely parts I had a hard time reading, though as disturbing as it was, it was quite interesting. I commend Ms. Thompson for telling her story. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Alice4170 🌙 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 ⭐️
This book is a very good eye opener for a lot of people. There’s a lot of good info as well.

[C A Gentle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book free from Amazon's first reads. I usually spend a lot of time reading up on all the available first reads before making my choice, but when I saw this I chose it immediately because I knew someone who had been conned out of everything by a bloke she was in a relationship with. I have since lost contact with her, but I met her years after her experience and she was anxious, on anti-depressants and had regular meetings and services from her local mental health service. She never got over it and it would seem she never would. I couldn't understand why anyone would do that to someone, however desperate for money they were. I wanted to read this book to see if I could understand why people act in this way. I remember having a conversation in a professional position when we were discussing someone's behaviour (totally unrelated to conning people) and someone remarked "why would they do that?" and I replied "why does anyone do anything?" - I think I had got to the position of giving up trying to understand motives and just accept some people act a certain way just because they can. Mary's theories made very interesting reading and gave me some insight there. I particularly liked her writing about how she moved on, especially where she revisited places to replace memories with different ones - a good tip I think. I also liked the part where she wrote about what to look out for. It is obvious that this is something that can happen to anyone. It was quite a gripping but easy read.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uneven storytelling, but enlightening view of a psychopath and his tricks

[Giovanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having read Mark Ronson's 'The Psychopath Test' and loved it, I jumped at the chance to read this through Amazon's 'First Reads'. I perhaps approached Turner-Thompson's book more critically because of this, and grinned when I learned she and Ronson are friends - having interviewed and toured together countless times. Any fan of Ronson's work will enjoy Turner-Thompson's, if only for the fact that she lists the full 20 test categories for the reader and links these to her intimate knowledge of Will Jordan (the eponymous psychopath). I had been frustrated that Ronson only focused on a few of the categories and had not been able to find the full list anywhere online - so this book was worth it if only for that.

Mary, I wonder if you read these reviews? Then you'll know the general criticisms that I can't counter:

- A meandering structure that dilutes the power of the overall message (jumping from facts in Will Jordan's case to tidbits about dating, etc).
- The repetition of points made fascinating content feel boring (a psychopath is not a sociopath, etc, etc).

These weaknesses in the writing led me to assume MTT had been given a page count to shoot for and simply bulked out the content where she could.

However, the repetition of 'Will Jordan' didn't bother me. I felt calling him 'Will' repeatedly would have read too intimately and calling him 'Jordan' would have felt too academic... Calling him 'Will Jordan' made him feel like the accused in a criminal court and I thought that made sense. I didn't find it hard to look past.

Some reviewers have also written that MTT seems a little 'full of herself' and this did strike me at times... Like when she states that her publisher said it was clear she 'wouldn't need a ghostwriter' or that she is now 'immune' to psychopaths, or even the way she stood up to hoodlums in the park... And while these points seemed strangely boastful, they were fun to read... They were reminders that MTT is a normal person who, having recovered from real trauma, is able to take pride in her achievements. Good on her!

Finally, I found MTT's disclosure about child sexual abuse striking. What she shared was powerful, helpful and different to any narrative I'd ever seen written down. Thank you.

In all, the story that Mary Turner-Thompson tells, when you look past the digressions, is compelling. This book reads like you've sat down for tea and a chat with your friend and she's giving you ALL the dirt. It was an easy and interesting read - and I certainly learnt something. I think MTT should be commended for the truth that she shares, without hesitation. Her confidence and transparency make her writing (though repetitive) readable.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary, the commenters on the Mai-Online are all disgusting! I imagine most of them look like Mr Bean who are still angry that they were bullied at school! They announce that EVERYONE is ugly, stupid, fat and lazy. The list goes on. Look what they're like with Harry and Meghan.
Anyway, yes I enjoyed reading this book. I read The Bigamist 10 years ago but never forgot it.