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Raising Wise Children: Handing Down the Story of Wisdom
A follow-up to the book Real World Parents, culture expert and veteran youth pastor, Mark Matlock, will help you become a proactive parent when it comes to the faith of your children. Rather than trying to raise kids who are 'good Christians, ' you'll find the tools to help you live out a faith that allows your children to see what it means to live as a Christian. As a result, your kids will learn about real faith by living it out with you.
170 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 28, 2012
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22 people want to read
About the author
Mark Matlock
37 books6 followersMark Matlock has been working with youth pastors, students, and parents for two decades. He speaks to hundreds of thousands of students around the world each year, and presents biblical truths in ways that motivate people to change. Mark is the vice president of event content at Youth Specialties and the founder of WisdomWorks Ministries and PlanetWisdom. He’s the author of several books including The Wisdom On - series, Living a Life That Matters, Don’t Buy The Lie, Freshman, and Smart Faith. Mark lives in Texas with his wife Jade and their two children.
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April 20, 2015
Author Mark Matlock is a passionate youth worker, who has served pastors, students, and parents for more than twenty years. He is the Vice President of Event Content at Youth Specialties, through which he has various speaking engagements where he reaches thousands of young men and ladies each year with biblical truth that bring about life change. He is also the founder of WisdomWorks Ministries and PlanetWisdom. Matlock has authored several books and resides in the state of Texas with his wife and two children.
Summary
Matlock does an excellent job laying the foundation of wisdom in parenting and managing a household. The book is application-oriented, though, which parallels his theory of instilling wisdom. It's not just a how-to book. He ends most chapters with "Do Something" sections which contain practical ideas for good hands-on opportunities that should open lines of communication about wisdom within the family unit.
Structurally, Matlock takes readers through a series of chapters that further and further unpack the need for wisdom. Many readers may pick up the book with chapter 7 in mind ("Making Wise Decisions"). However, Matlock slowly lays the groundwork that makes chapter 7 more powerful and better understood. The need for and definition of wisdom are covered in chapters 1-2. Matlock defines wisdom as "the human capacity to understand life from God’s perspective" , referencing Ecclesiastes 9:14-15 and James 3:17. He says it is more than the English definition of the Hebrew word hokma, which literally means "skill at living life." It is simply, "the revelation of a collection of patterns for how life works."
Conversely, Matlock next defines foolishness, or rather, the fool. He even related this to children by way of Proverbs 22:15. He calls "driving foolishness" from our children's hearts a "critical mission." He describes four "perspectives" held by fools that help identify foolishness in the hearts of children: Center-of-the-world-itis, Know-it-all-ism, Islandish-ness, and Superman Complex.
Chapter 5 helps parents impart wisdom with neutrality and low emotionalism. Each subsequent chapter builds upon one another leading to chapters 6-9 which are high on application. Chapter 9 introduces the healthy concept of helping your children seek wisdom in wise people outside of the home.
Critical Evaluation
Chapter 3 talks about the marks of a fool, which this reviewer thought was bold, considering the instruction of Jesus in Matthew 5:22c: "whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire" (ESV). I have always been told to refrain from labeling someone a fool, but recognize the strong use of the term throughout the Proverbs of Solomon. In recent seasons of the popular television show, The Amazing Race, there have been a set of contestants who became known for repeatedly calling each other "fool," which annoyed the other race participants, and also the audience in my own living room! However, the context in Matthew seems to be talking about attacking a person's identity and character in a brash and angry manner. It is not in the context of wisdom because it is intentionally destructive. In Proverbs, fools abound because of their lack of regard for wisdom on the Word of God and of wise people. Therefore, it is acceptable for the author to give further guidance (based on Scripture) for how to identify fools (or foolish characteristics.)
My father used to tell me I was a "know it all," so this term has since carried a negative quality in my own life. Therefore, Matlock's reference to "know-it-all-ism" in chapter 3 was close-hitting to my own heart of arrogance. He says, "Know-It-All-ism could easily be described as an attitude of omniscience, a desire to be seen as the all-knowing one." Matlock takes care to guide readers to be wary of merely seeing these characteristics in others, but to evaluate your own self as you evaluate your kids.
Matlock takes on the true love waits campaign tactics in chapter 4 when he talks about mediating wisdom. What does it mean to mediate wisdom? It is certainly a wise choice of words when applied to teenagers, which is where Matlock stresses this concept since teens and young adults begin to feel they are more equal to the sages around them. He says, "when you make wisdom a bigger deal than simply avoiding 'big sins,' kids are more likely to avoid those, as well." This is where he speaks out against youth programming that simply says "don’t have sex" without explaining the biblical wisdom offered as evidence to support abstinence until marriage. Surely this section will ruffle some feathers; albeit feathers of folks who may lack the wisdom to discern what Matlock is really getting at. Of course "just saying no" to drugs and sex is an important piece of advice in the process of educating adolescents, but understanding why to say no is a more solid and lasting approach.
On a negative note, the chart in chapter 4 is probably not very accurate, and with parents who tend to be very score-driven with their children, it may be more distracting. It doesn't seem very scientific. Also, the "Seven Marks Observations and Strategies" section at the end of chapter 4 is excessive, and perhaps many items within the long outline need further explanation to avoid being misinterpreted and misapplied with children. Certainly, parents and youth leaders who want to dive deep into the analytical and organizational processes of coaching wise kids will want to scour and devour this outline, but it does not fit well with the practical style of the rest of the brief book.
Chapter 5 offers some good teaching on the wisdom of Proverbs. It would be wonderful if Matlock could have cross-promoted the "Wisdom Deck" resource referenced in this book. It seems like it would be an excellent tool to use during mealtime or bedtime routines with children.
Chapter 9 may be hard for some parents to swallow because Matlock asks them to do something that integrates a lot of the parents own prideful shortcomings. Many parents also lack the patience to allow another person to take the place of themselves in offering wise advice to their children. However, I believe Matlock handled this wisely in the example he included in the book. He, the parent, instigated the whole idea of asking someone else for their opinion and also was the champion of how to do this in the best possible way. He talked through how to recognize wisdom in another person, and how to approach that person for guidance. This permission-giving home culture, I believe, is healthy. However, it does require a confident, stable and secure parent.
Conclusion
Raising Wise Children is a great little book for parents eager to instill confidence in their children. It is a very good starting resource for parents and family pastors, and is written from a standpoint that will communicate well with many youth workers and parents in a modern American culture.
Summary
Matlock does an excellent job laying the foundation of wisdom in parenting and managing a household. The book is application-oriented, though, which parallels his theory of instilling wisdom. It's not just a how-to book. He ends most chapters with "Do Something" sections which contain practical ideas for good hands-on opportunities that should open lines of communication about wisdom within the family unit.
Structurally, Matlock takes readers through a series of chapters that further and further unpack the need for wisdom. Many readers may pick up the book with chapter 7 in mind ("Making Wise Decisions"). However, Matlock slowly lays the groundwork that makes chapter 7 more powerful and better understood. The need for and definition of wisdom are covered in chapters 1-2. Matlock defines wisdom as "the human capacity to understand life from God’s perspective" , referencing Ecclesiastes 9:14-15 and James 3:17. He says it is more than the English definition of the Hebrew word hokma, which literally means "skill at living life." It is simply, "the revelation of a collection of patterns for how life works."
Conversely, Matlock next defines foolishness, or rather, the fool. He even related this to children by way of Proverbs 22:15. He calls "driving foolishness" from our children's hearts a "critical mission." He describes four "perspectives" held by fools that help identify foolishness in the hearts of children: Center-of-the-world-itis, Know-it-all-ism, Islandish-ness, and Superman Complex.
Chapter 5 helps parents impart wisdom with neutrality and low emotionalism. Each subsequent chapter builds upon one another leading to chapters 6-9 which are high on application. Chapter 9 introduces the healthy concept of helping your children seek wisdom in wise people outside of the home.
Critical Evaluation
Chapter 3 talks about the marks of a fool, which this reviewer thought was bold, considering the instruction of Jesus in Matthew 5:22c: "whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire" (ESV). I have always been told to refrain from labeling someone a fool, but recognize the strong use of the term throughout the Proverbs of Solomon. In recent seasons of the popular television show, The Amazing Race, there have been a set of contestants who became known for repeatedly calling each other "fool," which annoyed the other race participants, and also the audience in my own living room! However, the context in Matthew seems to be talking about attacking a person's identity and character in a brash and angry manner. It is not in the context of wisdom because it is intentionally destructive. In Proverbs, fools abound because of their lack of regard for wisdom on the Word of God and of wise people. Therefore, it is acceptable for the author to give further guidance (based on Scripture) for how to identify fools (or foolish characteristics.)
My father used to tell me I was a "know it all," so this term has since carried a negative quality in my own life. Therefore, Matlock's reference to "know-it-all-ism" in chapter 3 was close-hitting to my own heart of arrogance. He says, "Know-It-All-ism could easily be described as an attitude of omniscience, a desire to be seen as the all-knowing one." Matlock takes care to guide readers to be wary of merely seeing these characteristics in others, but to evaluate your own self as you evaluate your kids.
Matlock takes on the true love waits campaign tactics in chapter 4 when he talks about mediating wisdom. What does it mean to mediate wisdom? It is certainly a wise choice of words when applied to teenagers, which is where Matlock stresses this concept since teens and young adults begin to feel they are more equal to the sages around them. He says, "when you make wisdom a bigger deal than simply avoiding 'big sins,' kids are more likely to avoid those, as well." This is where he speaks out against youth programming that simply says "don’t have sex" without explaining the biblical wisdom offered as evidence to support abstinence until marriage. Surely this section will ruffle some feathers; albeit feathers of folks who may lack the wisdom to discern what Matlock is really getting at. Of course "just saying no" to drugs and sex is an important piece of advice in the process of educating adolescents, but understanding why to say no is a more solid and lasting approach.
On a negative note, the chart in chapter 4 is probably not very accurate, and with parents who tend to be very score-driven with their children, it may be more distracting. It doesn't seem very scientific. Also, the "Seven Marks Observations and Strategies" section at the end of chapter 4 is excessive, and perhaps many items within the long outline need further explanation to avoid being misinterpreted and misapplied with children. Certainly, parents and youth leaders who want to dive deep into the analytical and organizational processes of coaching wise kids will want to scour and devour this outline, but it does not fit well with the practical style of the rest of the brief book.
Chapter 5 offers some good teaching on the wisdom of Proverbs. It would be wonderful if Matlock could have cross-promoted the "Wisdom Deck" resource referenced in this book. It seems like it would be an excellent tool to use during mealtime or bedtime routines with children.
Chapter 9 may be hard for some parents to swallow because Matlock asks them to do something that integrates a lot of the parents own prideful shortcomings. Many parents also lack the patience to allow another person to take the place of themselves in offering wise advice to their children. However, I believe Matlock handled this wisely in the example he included in the book. He, the parent, instigated the whole idea of asking someone else for their opinion and also was the champion of how to do this in the best possible way. He talked through how to recognize wisdom in another person, and how to approach that person for guidance. This permission-giving home culture, I believe, is healthy. However, it does require a confident, stable and secure parent.
Conclusion
Raising Wise Children is a great little book for parents eager to instill confidence in their children. It is a very good starting resource for parents and family pastors, and is written from a standpoint that will communicate well with many youth workers and parents in a modern American culture.
August 25, 2021
It's a very good book, not only for parents. By reading this book, I also learn how to be wise myself. I experience change of perspective and way of thinking.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews