Then Comes Baby: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Three Years of Parenthood

by Gregory K. Popcak, Lisa A. Popcak

Greg and Lisa Popcak—popular Catholic authors, radio hosts, and marriage and family experts—present this unique guide to caring for one’s baby, self, marriage, and spiritual life in the first three years of parenthood.

In Then Comes Baby: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Three Years of Parenthood, Greg and Lisa Popcak lend readers the benefit of their twenty-five years’ experience in parenting and marriage and family counseling to help them navigate the earliest years of parenthood. They recommend rituals, routines, and tips on how to manage feeding, fatigue, and finances and how also to prioritize marital bonding and faith life, suggesting that setting the pattern early will pay dividends later. The Popcaks coach Catholic couples as they become first-time parents as they adjust to their new identities and help them face the inevitable challenges of parenthood with ideas for bonding with babies and getting sufficient sleep and nutrition—all while seeing these everyday experiences through the lens of Catholic teaching on the purpose of family life.

Genres: Parenting, Catholic, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Dr. Gregory Popcak is the Executive Director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to tough marriage, family, and personal problems. The author of over a dozen popular books integrating solid Catholic theology and counseling psychology (including; For Better…FOREVER!, Holy Sex!, Parenting with Grace, Beyond the Birds and the Bees), Dr. Popcak is an expert on the practical applications of the Theology of the Body. Through the Pastoral Solutions Institute, he directs a group pastoral tele-counseling practice that provides ongoing pastoral psychotherapy services to Catholic couples, individuals and families around the world. Since 2001, he and his wife and co-author, Lisa Popcak, have hosted several nationally-syndicated, call-in radio advice programs including Heart, Mind and Strength (Ave Maria Radio 2001-2010), Fully Alive! (Sirius/XM-The Catholic Channel 2007-2010), and most recently, More2Life (Ave Maria Radio–Airing M-F, Noon-1pm Eastern– 2010-Present). They have also hosted two for EWTN (For Better…FOREVER! & God Help Me!). Dr. Popcak’s articles appear regularly in Catholic periodicals such as Catholic Digest, Family Foundations, and others. Dr. Greg Popcak and Lisa Popcak are sought after public speakers and trainers and have been honored to address audiences across North America, Australia, and Hong Kong.

In addition to his ministry work, Dr. Popcak serves as adjunct faculty for the Franciscan University of Steubenville in both the sociology and graduate theology departments where he teaches Christianity & Society and Pastoral & Spiritual Direction respectively. He also serves on the faculty of the doctor of social work program for the Harold Abel School of Behavioral Health at Capella University.

Reviews

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me to deepen my relationship with my 15-month old. Dr. Greg formatted this book in a way that helps you sympathize with your crying child which helped motivate me to focus on my relationship with my daughter. I found myself really working hard in ways that would help my daughter trust me. I know, you would think after three children, I would have that down. This book reminded me of what is important and be able to adjust my days to give more attention to my wife and my 15-month-old.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really easy-to-read and solid resource for new Catholic parents with lots of questions about what to expect in your child’s first 3 years. They offered lots of resources to back up their compelling call to respond first to your child with love, and lots of concrete ways on how exactly to do that. I really learned a lot and it was a great conversation starter for us on parenting methods. However, it is a bit skewed towards families with a stay at home mom, so I had a lot of questions afterwards about how I can implement some of these strategies as a working mom. Great food for thought!

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book thoroughly. Addmitedly, I did feel guilty at times as I didn't always live up to what I thought the bar was set to in the book. But, they also encourage you to give yourself some grace and just profoundly loving and positive in their approach. what a lovely book. I wish I would have known about it before my daughter was born, but I'm extraordinarily grateful for the wonderful example that Dr Greg and Lisa offer in the book. It is quite a refreshing, positive perspective that this world is yearning to hear.

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess what I was hoping to get from this book, is not what it was intended to be. Or I'm really not the right audience. I'm a Catholic who would like to raise my child that way, but often suggestions and tips I find seem a bit over the top and things that just aren't realistic in my household. This book was less on raising the kids in the faith, and more of a parenting manual - which is guess is what it says. But be warned, if you aren't into breastfeeding (I am), co sleeping (I'm not), babywearing all the time (I used the stroller more ) and heaven forbid, working outside the home (yep) or against leaving your kid with someone else for a few hours (I travel once a week for work!! My poor baby has to hang out with Daddy instead of me one night a week....) , then you probably won't find much of use.

I read the book in small chunks as my child aged, mostly at night during our feedings - which meant I only read 5-10 pages at a time, which was probably for the best.

I'm not saying there was nothing to glean in here, and a few good tips. But for the most part - the advice and parenting tips was either not for me - or stuff I already figured out. But then again, isn't that probably true of most "parenting" books? This book will be finding a home with someone else who will appreciate it more.

[Alli Bittner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really wish I’d found and read this BEFORE my baby’s arrival, but better late than never! This book is chock full of biblically-grounded and evidence-backed guidance for navigating infant and toddler parenting. It’s broken into four sections: 0-6m, 6-12m, 12-24m, and 24-36m. Lots of the material in the 0-6m section felt SO validating of what I’m currently experiencing as the mother of a six-week-old. It was so reassuring to read that the complicated and STRONG feelings and instincts I’m going through are not only totally normal, but have really beautiful scientific and theological origins. Nothing is without purpose.

Deducting one star for the book’s endorsement of bedsharing with your infant. I simply can’t get behind that after seeing so many horror stories of parents accidentally smothering their babies to death. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) vehemently opposes bedsharing for good reason.

[Samantha Gamgee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Already parenting and was hoping to use this book as a resource. Will take a few things from it but overall there were many things we didn't agree with doing, like co-sleeping. He also makes putting your child in daycare like it's negligent and says that if the mother makes less than 50k a year it's not worth it for her to work. The math he presented was missing some important things, in several situations that is not true.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wisdom from an authentically Catholic perspective. A very helpful, reassuring and validating book with practical advice. I recommend it to soon to be and new parents

[Helen Kennedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Does anyone ever really love parenting books?

[Julie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be honest, I'm not going to actually read this whole book. However, I loved the Popcak's Just Married book and that gave me the impetus to flip through this one. I saw so much common sense displayed, combined with sensible Catholic grounding, that I resolved to buy two more copies to give to some young mothers I know.

[Alex Jakstys · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a new parent and a Catholic I thoroughly enjoyed this book. At the time I read this book my daughter was 11 months old. Reading some of the infant chapters "in hindsight" really helped to affirm some of the things my wife and I have been practicing (bed sharing!) and helped me reflect on what I could have / can do differently. I would definitely recommend this book to any parent but especially to a first time parent either expecting or with a young baby. I would also recommend you have the grandparents read certain chapters if they are questioning some of your parenting practices. In my experience that's easier than trying to explain things where emotions can come into play!

The Popcak's do a great job of covering all the major questions a new parent has and help to relieve some of the anxiety you might be having about parenting in a way that the modern culture doesn't necessarily agree with. There are a lot of practices such as breastfeeding (especially past a certain age) and bed sharing that seem to be taboo or frowned upon. Having some reassurance that these things can be good for your child and having science to prove it goes a long way to build you up and prevent you from caving to outside pressure.

I'd definitely recommend both spouses read this book. My wife read it first and it felt like she "got on-board" with some things before I did as a result. If possible read this before your baby is born but it's never too late! I plan on picking it up again and reviewing some of the later chapters (24-36 months, etc.) as my daughter gets closer to that age.