Night They Missed the Horror Show

by Joe R. Lansdale

"If they'd gone to the drive-in like they'd planned, none of this would have happened. ..."

Genres: Horror, Short Stories, Fiction

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[Bobby Bermea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why is racism every white author's road to instant "edge"? It's tiresome. It's not counter culture, it is the culture. Maybe that's Lansdale's point but frankly, it's played out. Isaac Woodard. Emmett Till. Trayvon Martin. Slavery. Lynching. Since 1619 white America has visited every kind of brutality and degradation on Black people. What does this story do but add more of the same? We've seen it, heard it, lived it, all before. Weak.

[Catalina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I fail to understand what anyone sees in this book. This wasn't graphic enough or cruel enough to truly be a torture porn short story. It wasn't tongue-in-cheek enough to be a black comedy. If this was truly a product of a bygone racist era and not some self-serving caricature, we may have had a more poignant novel on our hands. Instead, this just comes off as mean. I get what the novel is trying to do; It's attempting a joke about morality and where we draw that line, but we're left with this half-assed attempt that plays more for shock value than a genuine message. This didn't work on any level. Graphic torture porn is great, it has a place in this market..but..this doesn't try hard enough to offer that up. It doesn't go far enough in the gore to really serve that niche. Black comedy about twisted, dated values of morality from the past has a place in this market too, but this doesn't even offer that. At best it's a prank gone wrong, at worst it's an excuse to throw around the N-word without consequences. This novel doesn't know what it wants to do and thus the author fails at capturing any real perspective or commentary. It's not worth a passing glance, it wasn't enjoyable, it wasn't that gross, it wasn't thought provoking. This novel really fails to serve a purpose. Maybe literature doesn't need to, but if you want to tackle such heavy topics at least do it right.

[Syon · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Review for the audiobook version* I love bluegrass, folk, and industrial music as much as the next guy, but to be forced to listen to an entire fucking Mumford and Sons, Nine Inch Nails, or David Grier album as a background noise to an audiobook, is unbelievably annoying. I don’t know what the publisher was thinking. I paid 3 dollars for this on Audible, and I want my money back. Given the absolutely horrific and grim nature of this story, the addition of sound effects during pivotal moments further cheapened the whole experience. I have no choice but to knock off a star and a half for this reason. As far as the actual story goes, it is hands down one of the most sick, unflinching, and ruthless short stories I’ve read. I can’t imagine too many people being able to finish this. Lansdale is a fantastic writer, which made every single brutal, and inhumane act that took place hit as hard as possible. From start to finish, I felt uncomfortable as hell, which is what the author was going for. If reading from the point of view of shallow, depraved, and extremely racist characters wouldn’t sit well with you, then you should probably skip this one. But if you want to read a well written piece of fiction that will not only fuck up your day, but also solidify your belief that a good amount of humans on Earth are deranged and broken beyond repair, then I’d say to give this a shot. While I already mentioned the inclusion of racist characters, it should be noted that this story has more N-bombs than a Hitler youth’s Reddit thread. If you can’t stomach that, which I totally understand, I strongly advise you not to pick this up. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

[Jeremy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well this was a thoroughly disgusting short story. Just 6 pages of absolutely despicable people doing absolutely despicable things for no particular reason. I'm not sure what I was supposed to gain from it. A hatred for humanity maybe? Well, I'm too much of an optimist for that to happen, but I did deeply hate the characters in the story. The prose is effective and I can't say the story was ever boring, but it just doesn't feel like a story worth telling. It's odd because I personally love slasher movies so I'm struggling with figuring out why I'm okay with those, but not with this. Maybe because those films have some element of survival and someone to root for. This story had neither.

[Laura R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a seminal work of the subgenre called Splatterpunk that emerged in the 80s. To me, it was a needed pushback at traditional horror which depicted violence in a sanitized or glamorized or pleasurable way. The original dedication to Lewis Shiner puts it in context: "for once, a story that doesn't flinch". The first time I read it, it blew me away with its strong voice, punchy language and extreme intensity. Sadly, in the Trump era, it is still all too relevant.

From Wikipedia:
Splatterpunk was a movement within horror fiction in the 1980s, distinguished by its graphic, often gory, depiction of violence, countercultural alignment and "hyperintensive horror with no limits." The term was coined in 1986 by David J. Schow at the Twelfth World Fantasy Convention in Providence, Rhode Island. Splatterpunk is regarded as a revolt against the "traditional, meekly suggestive horror story". Splatterpunk has been defined as a "literary genre characterised by graphically described scenes of an extremely gory nature."

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

6 page short story that just makes you go "ick" throughout. Read if you like horrible people doing horrifying things in the most racist ways possible.

[Tracy Hollen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why was this rated as a top horror story? Ugh.

[Channing Whitaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting short. I met Mr. Lansdale on a panel at a convention earlier this year. I wanted to sample some of his work, and I saw this short recommended in a book group I follow on facebook, so I gave it a try. It was graphic disturbing but used those things to sever a higher point than mere shock. Lansdale places you in the time and place vividly within a few paragraphs. I can't say I loved the story, but I appreciated it, and therefore will be looking for another of Lansdale's titles to give a try.

[StephB · Rating 1 out of 5]

Were the other 1988 Bram Stoker's shorts running for the award that bad? Like, was it the best of all them short stories running for that award in 1988?
If someone didn't liked this review, I wouldn't remember I have read this short and thank God for this blessing.
1988 was a dreadful year for the horror shorts, huh... The year they missed the good stuff.

[E. T. Brother · Rating 1 out of 5]

Crap

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Super disturbing!!

[Jenny Circello · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow. That was hard to read.

[Jonathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want to know if you'll enjoy Splatterpunk, reading this short story will pretty much do it, saving you a lot of time. One of the most harrowing stories ever written.

[David Masumba · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a darkness about all creatures but JOE R. LANDSDALE captures the darkest nature in this story.

[Kate Workman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because it was on an NPR list of the best horror novels and stories of all time. I don’t know wtf it was doing there.

The review on NPR said that “It pulls off that impossible trick of getting us to side with people we have no business siding with” and umm no it does not. Only a real sicko would “side” with anyone while reading this story.

Being gross doesn’t make it “gritty” and the author exploiting actual atrocities for shock value doesn’t make it some kind of deep social commentary.

I’m giving it a generous 2 stars because some people might be more into gory horror than I am - but at the end of the day the goriness isn’t the real reason it sucks. It’s just a bad story on many levels.

[Shantell Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I understand why people hate this story. I hate it, too. The characters are despicable in every possible way. It does not feel good to read this story. It makes me feel soiled. Contaminated. But I think that is the point of it. I shows the POV of some of the worst dregs of society. I grew up around people like this, and I can't say I ever wanted to see the world from their perspective, but now I have and I want to scrub the filth from my brains.

This is an effective piece of horror writing.

[Bonnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this short story for free online. Although I appreciate it from a literary standpoint, I absolutely hated all of the characters, the language they use and the general feeling of this... not the type of creepy/spooky suspense, horror that I enjoy.

[Twan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yikes

[Jan Martinek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best (and clearly the most fucked up) short story I have ever read. Once you go through this, your world will never be the same.

[Anushka Aritri · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first experience with the Splatterpunk genre. As gory and dark and well-written as I'd heard rumors of, but I don't know if I'd say this is my thing.

[Chris Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wild, irreverent, and utterly mean. An absolute blast.

[Mira]

I have absolutely no idea what to think.

[ven · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

This made me extremely fucking nauseous and uncomfortable, so I guess it did what it set out to achieve.

[Barbe-Bleue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Le récit commence un peu mollement, mais il s'emballe et devient purement horrifique. Le final se révèle être d'une cruauté jouissive.

[Bryn Keenum]

One of those seminal writings of a sub genre that you can go to and read to see if you want to invest more time in it.
I don’t, personally.

[Zoey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I understand people being disgusted by the racism in this story. I believe Lansdale at least had a point he was trying to make with it.

I think Lansdale’s goal was to have the snuff filmmakers as sort of being an even uglier reflection of the two “protagonists”. The racism and sexism the two leads display is taken to an absolute extreme by the villains.

The two main characters get killed because of their racism. “If they went to the horror show none of this would have happened,” but they don’t, because they refuse to watch a horror film with a black lead. Scott is the only remotely sympathetic character, and while horribly murdered along with the rest of the them, he is shot while the two white leads die protracted, torturous deaths. One of them is crammed into the trunk with Scott’s bloody corpse staring at him, while the other dies in a way evocative of lynching (I initially thought it was a reference to a specific murder, but it turned out the murder took place after the short story was written- however several other lynchings prior to the story also involved victims dragged behind horses or cars). The killings are perpetrated by villains far more monstrous than the viewpoint characters, so it’s hard to consider them karmic in any sort of way. The story offers the reader only dread, subversion, and hurt. It leaves a bruise on you.

[Things I have read · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutal, brilliant and unpretentious.

[Geoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Night They Missed the Horror Show is one screwed up story! It’s weird, violent, contains racism, and is funny. Can one find humor in such a sick story? Well, only Lansdale could do it. The story starts off with a couple of drunk racist white trash pieces of crap, who decide to stop on the side of the road. They then tie up a dog to their bumper, that had been driven over by a truck. For fun. Yes, for fun! This should be enough to show you how warped this story is, and it just gets weirder as events develop.

I’ve read this story before in a collection, but this version is a stand alone chapbook, along with an audio cd read by Joe R. Lansdale. Joe’s from Texas, and he has a southern drawl. So, he does a pretty decent job of reading the story. My only faults are, that he reads too fast, and he doesn’t emphasize certain emotions within the story. But, with his southern drawl, and the fact that the weird screwed up story is actually very good, I'll still give it a thumb up! The audio disc is actually pretty cool. A great idea.