The Uncensored Bible: The Bawdy and Naughty Bits of the Good Book

by John Kaltner, Joel Kilpatrick, Steven L. McKenzie

We all know the story of how Eve was created from Adam's rib. But what if, perhaps, "rib" was a mistranslation and the body part she was really created from was Adam's penis bone? This would explain why human males don't have such a bone, unlike other male mammals. That's only one of many surprising and fun biblical twists readers will encounter in The Uncensored Bible . Here readers will learn that King David swore like a sailor, mandrakes were the biblical equivalent of Viagra ® , Cain was depressed, and Joseph's "coat of many colors" might have actually been a dress (which may explain why his brothers picked on him). Authors Kaltner, McKenzie, and Kilpatrick bring some of the most outrageous speculations about the scriptures to light—all based on legitimate scholarship—revealing a stranger, bawdier side of the Good Book. The Uncensored Bible is a shocking, hilarious, and thought-provoking collection of the most recent, compelling, and racy interpretations of the Bible from the newest voices of Bible scholarship.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, History, Humor, Reference

224 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2008

Reviews

[Onyango Makagutu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, provocative

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The Uncensored Bible" is an intriguing and scholarly text that explores the myriad of possible interpretations of some Bible stories. It is written in an engaging and readable style, and the authors aptly realize that they are writing for a wide audience, not a bunch of scholars at a conference. Kudos to them for acknowledging that fact. This is a serious work, and I was greatly impressed by the rigorous standards that the authors gave to each "questionable' theory that they examined in the text. They are not trying to shock people, but rather to investigate the aspects of the Bible that are unseemly, and to come up with reasonable conclusions that are based on reliable research, and the Bible itself. Again, it is refreshing to read a work by a scholar that seems to be absent of the scholar`s personal biases and beliefs.
The main flaw with this text is the hideous amount of bad jokes. They are so many, and so lame, that they begin to detract from the text. Had the amount of bad jokes, puns, riffs, etc been reduced I would have given this text 4 stars.
If you know your Bible, and are open to thinking critically about it, then this is a quick and engaging read and worth your time.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nevermind the content, the writing in this book made me laugh out loud. Two well-respected Bible scholars have compiled a list of 23 familiar Bible stories that other Bible scholars suggest have a different twist than what we have commonly accepted. This is not a Bible-bash nor sensationalism. The authors only accepted these alternatives from accomplished Bible scholars and are all (or mostly all) arrived at from a study of the original Hebrew text and its multiple translation possibilities.

In reference to some of the language and words chosen, it's clear that metaphor is not an invention of the Renaissance. Does "rib" really mean a rib bone? Or was it a polite way of referencing some other body part? What was Eve really made from?

Some of the 23 suggested alternatives the authors agree with, others they don't. But it does give one an interesting perspective on how the Bible may have been selectively translated.

[Miki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hugely entertaining book, and resulted in at least one amusing conversation on a train with a Hillsong attendee. Although some of the chapters do seem to be inconclusive filler, most give fantastic material for taking future conversations about the bible in very unexpected directions, while also being very educational. Enjoyed it greatly.

[Cat. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, boy: this is a funny book. If you're looking for in-depth serious research, it's not the book for you, though there is a decent bibliography, and the research they discuss is serious. They are just interpreted by the authors to be readable to the average person. Mostly the Old Testament is covered.

To sum up in two words: Penis Bone.

[Literary Ames]

Because I want to read the naughty bits.
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1...

[Jeff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simultaneously puerile, corny and erudite. A fascinating read, though I wish they would have toned down the jokiness a little.

[Marc Haakenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title does exactly match what I believe the book really is, which is a scholarly analysis of stories in the bible, demonstrating why there can be some many various interpretations of passages in the bible. What the author skillfully does in wrap these analyses in a text that can be read and understood by the masses, and the titles comes about from the passages and some off the wall interpretations that have some plausibility. I give this 5 stars if someone wants a good, easy-to-read book about the biblical analysis, but if you are looking a dirty book or something to throw into bible believers faces, one will be disappointed.

[Heath · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. such a rich source of material... ruined (for me) by a lame dad-jokey style on the part of the author(s). The Bible is full of insane and/or risqué relics of ancient folktales, and this book would have been fine if they’d just served that without trying to punch it up with ‘jokes’. (Good jokes might have worked.)

[Abram · Rating 5 out of 5]

اعتمدت على هذا الكتاب لكتابة عدة مقالات عن تصحيح ترجمة العديد من اعداد العهد القديم و اعادة قراءة و فهم العديد من المقاطع ، تابعوا صفحتي باستمرار على الحوار المتمدن
http://www.ahewar.org/m.asp?i=10995

او على صفحتى الرئيسية للتواصل الاجتماعي لاى استفسار
https://www.facebook.com/Abram.Louies...

[Johannes J Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

E book a flop

Once I opened the book I could not close it or go to pages. Pretty frustrating. Is this the future of e books?

[Matthew Hanzel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book may surprise you, or make you think a lot skeptical about the propositions made inside. Nevertheless, what is written inside this book is enough to invite curiosity from readers of the Good Book (the Bible). It has some pretty ideas on several well-known stories in the Bible, giving it new interpretations which cannot be called 'mainstream'. This book is clearly not for a very serious study, yet for your enjoyment pleasure, and for the sake of entertainment, this book may open your mind. Just remember that in a more religious perspective, this book should not alter your believe in the theological aspects of the Bible. It provides alternate interpretation which is interesting enough to know, yet won't ever make into the mainstream view.

[Rowan MacBean · Rating 4 out of 5]

The humor in this book's writing put me in mind of Mary Roach, if she was a slightly sexist guy (or two). Every once in a while my inner PC Police officer raised an eyebrow or clenched his jaw, but not to the point where it ruined my enjoyment of the book.

As a former church kid, I was beyond delighted to see a couple chapters about theories I'd toyed with myself as a child. Even the Bible scholars often couldn't come up with REALLY solid explanations of weird things, but it was super gratifying to see that I wondered about these things because they legitimately make little sense, as opposed to because I was too young to understand.

No matter your religious stance, this is a fascinating read, especially if languages are of particular interest to you.

[Tom]

A fun, quick read about scholarly interpretations of classic Bible stories that lean to the salacious. The authors review the tale of Lot's daughters relationship with their abusive father, and a theory put forward about Adam's rib really having been his "penis bone". Judah's daughter in law, Tamar, lost out on 2 of Judah's sons because God cursed and killed them (one being Onan). Judah ended up unknowingly having sex with her when she impersonated a prostitute. Her 2 sons were Moab and Amman. Once the authors tone down the annoying humor in the first few chapters the book becomes enjoyable.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting. Provocative. Scholarly. What more could you ask for? I would have left out the scholar who relies on psychoanalysis as it is an outdated research approach but other than that I loved the book.

[Bill Holmes · Rating 4 out of 5]

It turns out that Adam's rib may have been a euphemism for another bone that human males, unlike most other animals, are lacking. Witty and enlightening by turns, this book is a very different take on The Bible by two scholars of religion and a journalist.

[Carl Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book. It examines some fairly strange, outside the box, interpretations of some Biblical events and then evaluates if they are plausible interpretations. While I did disagree with some that they called plausible, it was a pretty fun read to say the least.

[Peter]

Funny , informative

The bible seen through beer goggles. Academics being playful and naughty with the texts, yet honest and intellectual about it . ( 3.5 stars, my app won't allow 1/2 stars ). Well worth the price of two coffees at one really posh beer !

[Jeff La Marca]

Bible,humor

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very amusing and actually gave some good insight into OT passages I have read recently and not known what to think about.