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Both Not Half
'This guy has better Punjabi than both of us and he's only half Punjabi.' Only. Half. I stared at those words. The intent behind the comment was in no way malicious, but it hurt. I felt diminished. I felt like I was being robbed of something essential to me. And as I stared at my screen, realisation dawned. '#bothnothalf' I replied.
For over twenty-five years, actor Jassa Ahluwalia described himself as 'half Indian, half English'. His fluent Punjabi always prompted bewilderment, medical staff questioned the legitimacy of his name, and the world of casting taught him he wasn't 'the right kind of mixed-race'. Feeling caught between two worlds, it wasn't long before Jassa embarked on a call to we need to change how we think and talk about mixed identity.
By delving into the media we grew up consuming and the legacies of empire we have been taught, Ahluwalia is there anything to be learnt from Rudyard Kipling? Why were movie stars urged to hide their mixed identities? To what extent did colonialism encourage or hinder mixed marriages? Is nationalism outdated? How can the politics of class and queer liberation inform our understanding of mixed identity?
Both Not Half is a rallying cry for a new and inclusive future. It's a journey of self-discovery that unearths the historical roots of modern mixed identity as we know it, braving to deconstruct the binaries we have inherited and the narratives we passively accept. Part-memoir, this is a campaign for belonging in a divided world.
For over twenty-five years, actor Jassa Ahluwalia described himself as 'half Indian, half English'. His fluent Punjabi always prompted bewilderment, medical staff questioned the legitimacy of his name, and the world of casting taught him he wasn't 'the right kind of mixed-race'. Feeling caught between two worlds, it wasn't long before Jassa embarked on a call to we need to change how we think and talk about mixed identity.
By delving into the media we grew up consuming and the legacies of empire we have been taught, Ahluwalia is there anything to be learnt from Rudyard Kipling? Why were movie stars urged to hide their mixed identities? To what extent did colonialism encourage or hinder mixed marriages? Is nationalism outdated? How can the politics of class and queer liberation inform our understanding of mixed identity?
Both Not Half is a rallying cry for a new and inclusive future. It's a journey of self-discovery that unearths the historical roots of modern mixed identity as we know it, braving to deconstruct the binaries we have inherited and the narratives we passively accept. Part-memoir, this is a campaign for belonging in a divided world.
- GenresNonfictionAudiobookRace
298 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 13, 2024
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333 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
May 10, 2025
Both Not Half je neleposlovno delo, mešanica spominov, coming of age in kulturne zgodovine, pa tudi svoje vrste manifest.
Britanski avtor ima angleške in indijske, pandžabske korenine, a se mu slednje ne poznajo na videzu, zato se je že od malega moral zagovarjati in dokazovati le te ter se tako počutil manj vrednega.
Ko je kot odrasel na nekem srečanju govoril v pandžabščini, je slišal komentar, da čeprav je samo na pol Pandžabec, govori bolje od veliko ljudi, ki so "pravi Pandžabci". To je v njem prebudilo razmišljanje, da ne more sprejeti, da je pol eno, pol drugo, ker ni sestavljen iz dveh polovic, ampak je cel človek. Je Pandžabec in Anglež, Indijec in Britanec.
Ta miselni tok ga nosi naprej v raziskovanje kulturne zgodovine, tako indijsko-britanske kot zgodovinski pomen nacionalnosti, in ga vodi v 21. stoletje, kjer bo vedno več ljudi imelo etnično mešane korenine. Ideje za avtorjevim viralnim #bothnothalf se lahko prenesejo tudi na druga področja, kjer se ljudje počutijo izključene iz družbe, ker ne pašejo v neke ozke stereotipe.
Priporočam zvočnico, ki jo avtor bere sam. Pomembno branje za boljše razumevanje in bolj odprto sprejemanje samih sebe in sveta okoli nas.
Britanski avtor ima angleške in indijske, pandžabske korenine, a se mu slednje ne poznajo na videzu, zato se je že od malega moral zagovarjati in dokazovati le te ter se tako počutil manj vrednega.
Ko je kot odrasel na nekem srečanju govoril v pandžabščini, je slišal komentar, da čeprav je samo na pol Pandžabec, govori bolje od veliko ljudi, ki so "pravi Pandžabci". To je v njem prebudilo razmišljanje, da ne more sprejeti, da je pol eno, pol drugo, ker ni sestavljen iz dveh polovic, ampak je cel človek. Je Pandžabec in Anglež, Indijec in Britanec.
Ta miselni tok ga nosi naprej v raziskovanje kulturne zgodovine, tako indijsko-britanske kot zgodovinski pomen nacionalnosti, in ga vodi v 21. stoletje, kjer bo vedno več ljudi imelo etnično mešane korenine. Ideje za avtorjevim viralnim #bothnothalf se lahko prenesejo tudi na druga področja, kjer se ljudje počutijo izključene iz družbe, ker ne pašejo v neke ozke stereotipe.
Priporočam zvočnico, ki jo avtor bere sam. Pomembno branje za boljše razumevanje in bolj odprto sprejemanje samih sebe in sveta okoli nas.
March 18, 2025
When I started listening to this, I did not expect it to be about a man who grew up in Leicester, or such a thorough look at history and politics, part memoir and part manifesto. I just thought he did really well :)
May 5, 2025
naturally this very much resonated with me. a beautiful blend of history and memoir. will no longer be saying half x half y, rather both!
October 20, 2024
Identity. Culture. Language. Politics. Religion. A lot of my favorite things. I found Jassa's experience and thoughts of being mixed heritage White/Punjabi really interesting and thought provoking, particularly because my daughter is also a White-presenting mixed race Indian/White. The book is not chronological, with chapters centred on theme, rather than time frame, with stories, anecdotes and examples from Jassa's life. This is often mixed with quite academic discussion, complete with references, and I appreciated the scholarship that Jassa had put in to his themes, although there were a couple of times when I didn't understand his point. Ultimately I totally buy into his argument of mixed heritage people being both their ethnicities entirely, not diminished with 'half'.
September 1, 2024
I listened to the audiobook and it was such an educational, powerful, honest, and emotional experience. Ahluwaila describes his experience of being both white and Punjabi in a way that helps you visualise what he's talking about. Family is at the heart of the book, particularly his relationship with his sister, Ramanique, and this provides a reference point for why Jassa started his journey of reflection and self discovery. This book will stay with me for a long time. A must read/listen for anyone, not just those who are mixed heritage.
October 21, 2024
Thought provoking, ultimate nostalgia, with hilarious references to the coming-of-age period most can relate to. The devotion and respect Jassa produces on paper towards his upbringing/faith particularly around his grandparents got me very teary eyed - told with utter profoundness. It’s a personal read with no bars held, huge respect for embracing such a delicate, ‘don’t get your knickers in a twist’ topic. Truth is if you’ve experienced the cultural ambiguity people like us face, you will never get how disheartening it is so here’s to #BothNotHalf!🥂
March 22, 2025
Both not half is a highly readable and digestible personal narration of a period of mental health and identity crises. It wasn’t quite what I expected; I wanted a deeper examination of the experiences of people with mixed heritage in the Uk today.
I was impatient at points, as he describes his emotional, spiritual, social and intellectual development. I was maybe just anticipating his eventual conclusion on oneness.
The book wears its politics on its sleeve. There are long sections examining intersectionalities with class, gender, sexuality. However, despite the sections being long and maybe because of the underlying political position, it underplays some of the nuance and detail that would have brought some further insights (maybe the editor thinks not everyone wants to read essays). There’s no point highlighting specific examples because it’s his journey.
I was also interested how much he needed to be “seen”. On one level, I can understand the internal discomfort from people’s literal prejudices, and the pleasure of acceptance. On another level, he’s an actor and in the public eye while I write an anonymous hastily-written goodreads review (which goes to show that mixed heritage experience is as diverse as any other). I liked his small test of when he needed to be validated/seen and maybe would’ve liked more on why society has labels and prejudices. I liked too how his growth enabled him to see and understand his sister better, an appropriate ending.
So, while it wasn’t the book I expected (not the authors fault), it was thought provoking, readable and quite a bookmark in his journey of self-discovery
I was impatient at points, as he describes his emotional, spiritual, social and intellectual development. I was maybe just anticipating his eventual conclusion on oneness.
The book wears its politics on its sleeve. There are long sections examining intersectionalities with class, gender, sexuality. However, despite the sections being long and maybe because of the underlying political position, it underplays some of the nuance and detail that would have brought some further insights (maybe the editor thinks not everyone wants to read essays). There’s no point highlighting specific examples because it’s his journey.
I was also interested how much he needed to be “seen”. On one level, I can understand the internal discomfort from people’s literal prejudices, and the pleasure of acceptance. On another level, he’s an actor and in the public eye while I write an anonymous hastily-written goodreads review (which goes to show that mixed heritage experience is as diverse as any other). I liked his small test of when he needed to be validated/seen and maybe would’ve liked more on why society has labels and prejudices. I liked too how his growth enabled him to see and understand his sister better, an appropriate ending.
So, while it wasn’t the book I expected (not the authors fault), it was thought provoking, readable and quite a bookmark in his journey of self-discovery
June 2, 2025
This book was a big flop for me.
I was drew in by the title and the notion of radically redefining understandings of mixed heritage. The author introduces their standing on this about halfway into the book, which doesn’t make for a convincing argument nor uses all the personal experience at his disposal in a clever and profound way.
He uses a beautiful quote by Carlo Rovelli (can’t remember, will butcher) essentially about the multitudes of identity, and if the book had started with this, had expanded on, and returned to as an anchor, adding personal experience, reflection, theory, critical analysis etc it would have been better.
I enjoyed learning about Punjabi history and culture and tbh that was the only thing keeping me going. I skipped about 50 pages of the book as a huge section in the middle just seemed to shoehorn opinions on social issues and political movements (like, on one page you had a brief summary and analysis of meritocracy, then skip a few sentences and you have a paragraph on trans liberation?) It seemed under researched, quite careless, and shallow. You can’t just attach words like radical to a book and hope for the best. For a ‘radical’ book, a call to action only appeared about 150 pages in.
I think it’s brave how the author has spoken about grappling with his identity in pursuit of helping others with theirs and to contribute to a conversation regarding mixed race identities in Britain, but a lot of this book felt self indulgent lacking critical thinking, lacking a bigger purpose, lacking structure.
I was drew in by the title and the notion of radically redefining understandings of mixed heritage. The author introduces their standing on this about halfway into the book, which doesn’t make for a convincing argument nor uses all the personal experience at his disposal in a clever and profound way.
He uses a beautiful quote by Carlo Rovelli (can’t remember, will butcher) essentially about the multitudes of identity, and if the book had started with this, had expanded on, and returned to as an anchor, adding personal experience, reflection, theory, critical analysis etc it would have been better.
I enjoyed learning about Punjabi history and culture and tbh that was the only thing keeping me going. I skipped about 50 pages of the book as a huge section in the middle just seemed to shoehorn opinions on social issues and political movements (like, on one page you had a brief summary and analysis of meritocracy, then skip a few sentences and you have a paragraph on trans liberation?) It seemed under researched, quite careless, and shallow. You can’t just attach words like radical to a book and hope for the best. For a ‘radical’ book, a call to action only appeared about 150 pages in.
I think it’s brave how the author has spoken about grappling with his identity in pursuit of helping others with theirs and to contribute to a conversation regarding mixed race identities in Britain, but a lot of this book felt self indulgent lacking critical thinking, lacking a bigger purpose, lacking structure.
March 16, 2025
It’s interesting reading about a young person’s search for identify. Aluwalia’s starting point is his mixed race (white English mother, and brown Punjabi father) from there he takes us through his explorations of race, nationality, sexuality, spirituality. Those of us given to self examination, and self reflection will recognize the questions and issues he was/ is grappling with, (although given I’m a few decades along and not as social media savvy, I cringed a bit at the constant repeating of the hashtag, references to Twitter and IG followers).
He is obviously a charming person because there is a lot of name dropping of British Punjabis and Sikhs, who all seem to have been incredibly kind, generous and supportive of him, in both practical and emotional ways. This made me a bit envious actually, as I wish I had had access to such mentors and supporters in my twenties
His final conclusion, that we are each so many things (children, siblings, a nationality, a race or mixed race, our gender, our sexuality, etc etc ) and we are all those things, not a collection of fractions, reminded me of the lines from Walt Whitman
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Maybe growing up is about learning to accept the multitudes within ourselves?
I skipped / skimmed the chapters about British colonist / imperialism and unions. But I loved the relationship he had with his grandparents, and the chapter on his Sikh faith
He is obviously a charming person because there is a lot of name dropping of British Punjabis and Sikhs, who all seem to have been incredibly kind, generous and supportive of him, in both practical and emotional ways. This made me a bit envious actually, as I wish I had had access to such mentors and supporters in my twenties
His final conclusion, that we are each so many things (children, siblings, a nationality, a race or mixed race, our gender, our sexuality, etc etc ) and we are all those things, not a collection of fractions, reminded me of the lines from Walt Whitman
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Maybe growing up is about learning to accept the multitudes within ourselves?
I skipped / skimmed the chapters about British colonist / imperialism and unions. But I loved the relationship he had with his grandparents, and the chapter on his Sikh faith
May 13, 2025
Jassa Ahluwalia’s ‘Both Not Half’ is a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of identity, belonging and the complexities of heritage. Written with clarity and emotional depth, it offers a compelling account of the author’s experience as a mixed-race British-Indian man navigating questions of culture, language and self-perception.
Ahluwalia’s reflections are deeply personal yet universally resonant. His voice is both intimate and confident, inviting readers to examine not only his journey but also their own assumptions about identity and community. The interplay between English and Punjabi adds authenticity and texture, reinforcing the book’s central message: that one’s identity cannot be neatly compartmentalised.
While the narrative occasionally leans towards repetition, the sincerity and passion behind each chapter more than compensate. This is a timely and necessary contribution to ongoing conversations about race, representation and the power of self-definition.
‘Both Not Half’ is a beautifully articulated memoir that challenges the binary and celebrates the in-between. A vital read for anyone interested in the nuances of identity in modern Britain.
Ahluwalia’s reflections are deeply personal yet universally resonant. His voice is both intimate and confident, inviting readers to examine not only his journey but also their own assumptions about identity and community. The interplay between English and Punjabi adds authenticity and texture, reinforcing the book’s central message: that one’s identity cannot be neatly compartmentalised.
While the narrative occasionally leans towards repetition, the sincerity and passion behind each chapter more than compensate. This is a timely and necessary contribution to ongoing conversations about race, representation and the power of self-definition.
‘Both Not Half’ is a beautifully articulated memoir that challenges the binary and celebrates the in-between. A vital read for anyone interested in the nuances of identity in modern Britain.
May 29, 2025
I normally read fiction books, but I stumbled across this book through a clip of Jassa on instagram, which piqued my interest. It's quite a thought-provoking read as he provides his own perspective and experience of navigating two cultures, which is something I really resonated with, with being British/Indian/Punjabi. It also gave a wider insight into what my future children might experience with marrying someone who is white, and I have adopted using the term #BothnotHalf as it makes total sense to me in so many aspects. Having a degree in Sociology, where one of the key thematic areas revolved around identity, societal norms, and culture, this book would have been ideal to delve deeper into my studies and discuss with others. Easy to read and enjoyable!
January 17, 2026
Really really well written book. Well crafted ideas, very personal and intimate and I related to none of it. Yet somehow I identified with the authenticity of the author, his words and the stories that were well crafted and interwoven together. It feels so complete yet I would imagine the next 20 years will reveal a new story as maturity replaces youthful ideas and would love to see how Jassa develops the next period of his life.
We all carry a split within ourselves that seek our attention, our awareness. Jassa provides insights that will become familiar as we evolve the subset of the labels we use to catalogue all of existence only to realize we return full cycle to the identity of the whole.
We all carry a split within ourselves that seek our attention, our awareness. Jassa provides insights that will become familiar as we evolve the subset of the labels we use to catalogue all of existence only to realize we return full cycle to the identity of the whole.
February 22, 2025
3.5/5
Thought-provoking and in large parts educational. Interesting and valuable insight for a reader without significantly mixed heritage. Some parts felt like a tenuous addition and closer to being a memoir (for instance the sections on sexuality; they made sense in connection with the author's personal journey, they sort of made sense in relation to #BothNotHalf, but this isn't the book you're reaching for to teach you about this topic), but I'm glad I read it.
Thought-provoking and in large parts educational. Interesting and valuable insight for a reader without significantly mixed heritage. Some parts felt like a tenuous addition and closer to being a memoir (for instance the sections on sexuality; they made sense in connection with the author's personal journey, they sort of made sense in relation to #BothNotHalf, but this isn't the book you're reaching for to teach you about this topic), but I'm glad I read it.
June 26, 2025
this book has expressed in words feelings I have had knocking around in my head, disorganized, for years as a mixed heritage person. even before I'd come across it, I'd started rejecting the desciption of "half this and half that" and began to favour the phrase "I'm this and that" when asked about my ethnicity. the thoughts in these chapters have really outlined my exact emotions around the experience of growing amidst a variety of cultural backgrounds. great read :)
March 30, 2025
In this piece the writer pulls apart the notion of mixed race identity, and the influences a dominant culture may have on minorities. Very philosophical in some parts as well, and the text also exposes the internalised racism and cultural bias that exists in larger society as exemplified by the story Ahluwalia narrates about his stay in hospital as a white passing man with an Indian name.
January 21, 2025
Deeply researched with so much references - took me quite a long time to read! I think it would have been better as two or three volumes or maybe even cut short some of the personal experiences as not everything should need to be explained!
December 28, 2025
This is mostly memoir but the later part of the book also pulls Jassa's concept #bothnothalf into sexuality, gender, politics and gives great understanding to belonging and how this open minded way of thinking relates across many parts of life. It was refreshing to read.
December 22, 2024
Enjoyed the beginning. Started to drag on the second half, and my husband and I both agreed it should have been several hours shorter.
July 29, 2025
For me, some parts resonated a lot more than others. But I much prefer the "both" approach to mixed backgrounds!
December 7, 2025
Unable to finish
This started off so strong and I read the first 1/3 so fast but then I felt it got lost and bogged down in over complicated writing.
I hope to revisit
This started off so strong and I read the first 1/3 so fast but then I felt it got lost and bogged down in over complicated writing.
I hope to revisit
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews