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This Heavy Silence
Strong, resilient, and deeply loyal, Dottie Connell farms her family’s three hundred acres in rural Ohio alone, having sacrificed love and family for land she does not own. A sudden, inexplicable event leaves the daughter of her childhood friend in her care. Pressured by her community to allow her former fiancé to raise the child, Dottie must face the past she has worked fifteen years to forget. Spanning a decade, This Heavy Silence explores the power of the vows we make to others, and, more binding, those we make to ourselves. Evoking the hardship, spring-fed beauty, and the complexities of community in the rural Midwest, this award-winning, beautifully observed novel leads us to question our ideas about motherhood, faith, and the debts we owe.
"Like the land she inhabits and the people she attends, Nicole Mazzarella offers a subtle and enduring beauty, born of intense interiority, and vision both broad and deep."
-Scott Cairns, author of New & Selected Poems
"Like the land she inhabits and the people she attends, Nicole Mazzarella offers a subtle and enduring beauty, born of intense interiority, and vision both broad and deep."
-Scott Cairns, author of New & Selected Poems
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
141 people want to read
About the author
Nicole Mazzarella
4 books14 followersNicole Mazzarella grew up in Ohio and writes with sensitivity and precision about rural, Midwestern life. She lives with her husband and their three children in Illinois.
Nicole has taught creative writing at Old Dominion University and currently teaches creative writing at Wheaton College. Prior to teaching, Nicole worked in a variety of settings, including the 1996 Olympics, an Episcopal Cathedral, a bank, an insurance company, and a software company. She received her B.A. in journalism from Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky and her M.F.A. in creative writing with an emphasis in fiction from Old Dominion University.
Her novel This Heavy Silence was selected by Leif Enger, author of Peace Like a River, as a finalist for the Paraclete Press Fiction Award of 2004 and received the Christy Award for First Novel in 2006. Library Journal named it one of the best books of 2005, calling it "an understated literary gem" and Christianity Today named it the best fiction book of 2006, saying "Her characters are developed masterfully, & her prose style is both beautiful and precise.”
Nicole has taught creative writing at Old Dominion University and currently teaches creative writing at Wheaton College. Prior to teaching, Nicole worked in a variety of settings, including the 1996 Olympics, an Episcopal Cathedral, a bank, an insurance company, and a software company. She received her B.A. in journalism from Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky and her M.F.A. in creative writing with an emphasis in fiction from Old Dominion University.
Her novel This Heavy Silence was selected by Leif Enger, author of Peace Like a River, as a finalist for the Paraclete Press Fiction Award of 2004 and received the Christy Award for First Novel in 2006. Library Journal named it one of the best books of 2005, calling it "an understated literary gem" and Christianity Today named it the best fiction book of 2006, saying "Her characters are developed masterfully, & her prose style is both beautiful and precise.”
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
August 10, 2017
I'm giving this 3 stars because it is a gutsy book, especially as a first novel. The protagonist, a self-centered, manipulative middle-aged woman is hard to like -- impossible, really -- and it is in first person! It is hard to pull that off and still have readers willing to finish the book. In fact, there aren't many sympathetic characters in the book at all. Yet it is the characters that carry the book, and their slow transformations make it an interesting read.
I wish the author had fleshed out the "best friend" Zela character and her challenges more fully. Her unhappy marriage is a major underlying element in the story, but it's just not dealt with enough. It's too important to leave so vague. I guess the bottom line is that the characters and sense of place are done well, but the plot could use some work.
I wish the author had fleshed out the "best friend" Zela character and her challenges more fully. Her unhappy marriage is a major underlying element in the story, but it's just not dealt with enough. It's too important to leave so vague. I guess the bottom line is that the characters and sense of place are done well, but the plot could use some work.
October 16, 2011
Good writing style, but the character was boring and selfish. Just...blah.
March 23, 2020
I could cry a thousand tears over this book. I miss the characters now that I'm done reading.
"This Heavy Silence" was leant to me by an elderly librarian, who cited it as her second favorite book of all time. I read the paperback, as opposed to my usual audiobook preference, and it was appropriate given that the story takes place on a rural farm.
The main character, Dottie, farms the land handed down to her from her father and she does it with meticulous, unyielding dedication to hard labor. When her childhood best friend passes away and leaves her 10 year old daughter to Dottie, the protagonist's response is to put the girl to work. This is how Dottie, herself, has run from feelings. We then follow their story for the decade to come.
The most astonishing thing to me was that Dottie didn't connect with anyone, not even herself. And still, when I was finished with the story, I missed her terribly.
"This Heavy Silence" was leant to me by an elderly librarian, who cited it as her second favorite book of all time. I read the paperback, as opposed to my usual audiobook preference, and it was appropriate given that the story takes place on a rural farm.
The main character, Dottie, farms the land handed down to her from her father and she does it with meticulous, unyielding dedication to hard labor. When her childhood best friend passes away and leaves her 10 year old daughter to Dottie, the protagonist's response is to put the girl to work. This is how Dottie, herself, has run from feelings. We then follow their story for the decade to come.
The most astonishing thing to me was that Dottie didn't connect with anyone, not even herself. And still, when I was finished with the story, I missed her terribly.
March 31, 2008
The main character was stubborn, proud, and boring. This made it hard to read. The writing was forced, and overly dramatic, but still fell flat. I'm not sure why I finished this book.
January 5, 2019
Nicole Mazzarella’s book, This Heavy Silence, comes with a seal of approval as a 2006 Christy Award winner in the first novel category. Like Catherine Marshall’s Christy, It, too, has a gauzy, hilly landscape on the cover, but its protagonist, Dottie Connell, is no Julie Andrews in the Alps. Dottie is a hard-bitten farmer who has been tending her Ohio family farm since her brother’s untimely death as a child. When we meet her in 1962 she is dealing with a fire that has killed her friend and friend’s husband on a night when their young daughter, Mattie, is staying over with Dottie, who is now managing the farm on her own.
Mattie changes Dottie’s life, resurrecting old conflicts and possibilities with Dottie’s old flame, Morris, who, with his new wife, wants to adopt the child. Dottie resists the overtures, in part because the money Mattie’s mother had entrusted Dottie to oversee for her is a way to save the farm from villainous relatives. Momentous decisions made in the first part of the book come back to haunt Dottie in the second part, set in 1972, when Mattie reaches adulthood.
Read my full review on Heartlands: https://alexjoyner.com/2019/01/05/hou....
Full disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
Mattie changes Dottie’s life, resurrecting old conflicts and possibilities with Dottie’s old flame, Morris, who, with his new wife, wants to adopt the child. Dottie resists the overtures, in part because the money Mattie’s mother had entrusted Dottie to oversee for her is a way to save the farm from villainous relatives. Momentous decisions made in the first part of the book come back to haunt Dottie in the second part, set in 1972, when Mattie reaches adulthood.
Read my full review on Heartlands: https://alexjoyner.com/2019/01/05/hou....
Full disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
March 30, 2019
Dottie Connell has dedicated her life to the 300 acres of farm land that gives her life meaning, as it did her father and grandfather. Her childhood friend, grown into her lover, will join her and continue the legacy with their own family. When these plans go awry, her heart is broken and then hardened to prevent further pain. Dottie is a victim of the human condition, damaged by disappointment and betrayal, unable to show any weakness or need, keeping her distant from the warmth of a relationship with God or man. It is a beautifully written tragedy, reminding us of our own self-defeating behaviors and ending with hope.
August 28, 2017
Read it for a church book club discussion. It is much more compelling reading than I expected. A woman has given up everything for a 300 acre farm she doesn't really own. She really only knows how to relate to the land. She just can't figure out people. It makes you think about how to be a good mother, about your faith, and debts we owe ourselves and others. It's a very good book.
April 7, 2023
A good book. Not great, not bad. Just a good read :). The protagonist is frustrating and yet you still love her, but also, ultimately, I wanted the book to be truer for her. Like I felt I didn't quite believe her - not so much her actions or even her blindness to the impact of her actions, but there was just something that didn't quite resonate as true in the end.
April 23, 2018
Her writing reminds me of Wiley Cash, Marilyn Robinson or Jane Smiley. So many lessons in this book...some will be frustrated because so much is wasted in Dottie's life and all doesn't end well...pretty much like life :-).
June 23, 2017
A wistful story with interesting insight into the trials and tribulations of farming with some atypical plot twists. A good read!
June 19, 2020
Nicely developed characters and well-desribed setting but didn't find the plot very compelling.
July 4, 2022
Intense dislike for the main character. Too much of a manipulator.
January 11, 2015
I was given this book to read for Christmas and enjoyed it. It received the "Christy" award so I wondered if it would have the same affect on me as the book "Christy" did. (I enjoyed reading the story very much but was left wanting more at the end).
It did leave me a bit unsatisfied at the end as I wished to see more loose ends tied up. The main character was definitely not very sympathetic. It was hard to stay with her as she continued on in her bitter, prideful, selfish ways without seeing her own faults. But, the writing was compelling and I did find myself rooting for her to find some sort of satisfaction in the life she had instead of the life she thought she wanted. There were a few quotes that I found myself reading a second time because they made me think twice or chuckle aloud:
- "I walked quietly back down the stairs to my office where I would work until they left. When you believed in a God who climbed into flesh to interrupt history, taking over someone's kitchen could seem caring." p. 55
- "The breath upon earth created my flesh, and my flesh took on the shape of a woman under his hands. I had never known a sweeter regret." p. 135
The title of the book gives clues that silence will be a theme in the book. The silence throughout the story was at times deafening. I wanted at times to reach through the words and shout all the unspoken things hanging between the written words. There is probably a whole other book that could be written with all the unsaid words in this story. I thought the author did a great job of writing these stilted conversations though. Having been in a few myself, they felt very authentic. I wanted the characters to talk things out more, but in the end I was frustrated with the characters, not the writing.
I probably would have given it 5 stars if I wasn't such a hopeless romantic/ happy-ending-loving reader!
It did leave me a bit unsatisfied at the end as I wished to see more loose ends tied up. The main character was definitely not very sympathetic. It was hard to stay with her as she continued on in her bitter, prideful, selfish ways without seeing her own faults. But, the writing was compelling and I did find myself rooting for her to find some sort of satisfaction in the life she had instead of the life she thought she wanted. There were a few quotes that I found myself reading a second time because they made me think twice or chuckle aloud:
- "I walked quietly back down the stairs to my office where I would work until they left. When you believed in a God who climbed into flesh to interrupt history, taking over someone's kitchen could seem caring." p. 55
- "The breath upon earth created my flesh, and my flesh took on the shape of a woman under his hands. I had never known a sweeter regret." p. 135
The title of the book gives clues that silence will be a theme in the book. The silence throughout the story was at times deafening. I wanted at times to reach through the words and shout all the unspoken things hanging between the written words. There is probably a whole other book that could be written with all the unsaid words in this story. I thought the author did a great job of writing these stilted conversations though. Having been in a few myself, they felt very authentic. I wanted the characters to talk things out more, but in the end I was frustrated with the characters, not the writing.
I probably would have given it 5 stars if I wasn't such a hopeless romantic/ happy-ending-loving reader!
October 28, 2009
Finished this book a few days ago and can't decide if I really like it. The main character, Dottie Connell, is a single middle aged woman trying to run 300 acre farm in the 60s and 70s. She ends up raising a friend's child and has to confront some of her issues in the process. Here's what I liked:
1)The book is beautifully written. I was surprised on this one since she is a professor at the college and not a full time writer. Had this book been picked up by a secular publisher I think it would have had much more circulation.
2) It is interesting: a mysterious death, an orphan, an inheritance, a love triangle . . . kept things interesting for being set on a farm.
Here's what I didn't like:
1) I wasn't crazy about the ending since I have a Dickensian longing for all books to get all loose ends tied up and end with everyone happy.
2) Poor Dottie describes herself as being "stout" with a body made for hard work and later describes her hair as being very short with a tight perm. Despite my desire for all characters to become romantically attached to someone, I had a hard time rooting for farm-gal Dottie with her badly permed hair.
3) This is my biggest hang up with the book: it is "Christian" but as far as I can tell, the main character never comes to Christ . . .? ? This woman is profoundly lonely and isolated and has a "come to Jesus" moment but seems to only use it for personal maturation. It has left me wondering all week about the message of the book. I do not find a true "Christian" message here which is what I was expecting.
1)The book is beautifully written. I was surprised on this one since she is a professor at the college and not a full time writer. Had this book been picked up by a secular publisher I think it would have had much more circulation.
2) It is interesting: a mysterious death, an orphan, an inheritance, a love triangle . . . kept things interesting for being set on a farm.
Here's what I didn't like:
1) I wasn't crazy about the ending since I have a Dickensian longing for all books to get all loose ends tied up and end with everyone happy.
2) Poor Dottie describes herself as being "stout" with a body made for hard work and later describes her hair as being very short with a tight perm. Despite my desire for all characters to become romantically attached to someone, I had a hard time rooting for farm-gal Dottie with her badly permed hair.
3) This is my biggest hang up with the book: it is "Christian" but as far as I can tell, the main character never comes to Christ . . .? ? This woman is profoundly lonely and isolated and has a "come to Jesus" moment but seems to only use it for personal maturation. It has left me wondering all week about the message of the book. I do not find a true "Christian" message here which is what I was expecting.
September 9, 2009
Dottie Connell is a middle-aged farm woman from Eastern Ohio. She is unmarried, but not unloved, and no stranger to lovemaking (a fact that would surprise the local townsfolk). With a modicum of success, she farms, and longs to own, the land her father farmed. But she struggles to place herself in community, holding herself apart, unable to develop sincere attachments to the people who come in and out of her life.
When Dottie's best friend dies and leaves her 8-year old daughter in Dottie's care, the woman and the child must learn to make a life for themselves in the midst of economic trials, self-deception, and betrayal.
Now, some of you will know that my four-star review of this book is necessarily biased. After all, I have worked with Nicole for the last 4 years. But I what I didn't know, until reading this book, her first novel, is that in addition to being a gracious colleague and excellent teacher, Nicole is a remarkably honest and skillful storyteller. So much so, in fact, that I completely forgot I was reading a friend's work, and became fully engrossed in the characters. If you enjoy novels of place and of character development, this work richly develops both, leaving its readers with a bittersweet challenge to our longing for independence.
When Dottie's best friend dies and leaves her 8-year old daughter in Dottie's care, the woman and the child must learn to make a life for themselves in the midst of economic trials, self-deception, and betrayal.
Now, some of you will know that my four-star review of this book is necessarily biased. After all, I have worked with Nicole for the last 4 years. But I what I didn't know, until reading this book, her first novel, is that in addition to being a gracious colleague and excellent teacher, Nicole is a remarkably honest and skillful storyteller. So much so, in fact, that I completely forgot I was reading a friend's work, and became fully engrossed in the characters. If you enjoy novels of place and of character development, this work richly develops both, leaving its readers with a bittersweet challenge to our longing for independence.
August 7, 2008
What a painful, but good book. The title of the book is apt because when I finished reading it, I felt the impact of the book sitting heavily on my chest.
It was interesting timing to read this book after finishing Dreams from My Father yesterday, because the questions that book raised were shadowed in this book. The main character, Dottie Connell, is a case study in what life is like without community or family.
Dottie is admirable in her determination to pursue the career she loves - farming - and the author's portrayal of a female character in a traditionally male occupation was well written. But my overall emotional imprint from this book is sadness because Dottie lets farming become a driving passion that consumes everything else in her life.
I don't think I'm in danger of living life like this character. I thoroughly enjoy my jobs, but I think the very fact that I use the plural (jobs) is illuminating: I don't see my work for a non-profit as my only job. This book would have been just as sad if Dottie had made parenting all consuming. I think my take away from this book is the danger of loving any one thing to the exclusion of all else.
It was interesting timing to read this book after finishing Dreams from My Father yesterday, because the questions that book raised were shadowed in this book. The main character, Dottie Connell, is a case study in what life is like without community or family.
Dottie is admirable in her determination to pursue the career she loves - farming - and the author's portrayal of a female character in a traditionally male occupation was well written. But my overall emotional imprint from this book is sadness because Dottie lets farming become a driving passion that consumes everything else in her life.
I don't think I'm in danger of living life like this character. I thoroughly enjoy my jobs, but I think the very fact that I use the plural (jobs) is illuminating: I don't see my work for a non-profit as my only job. This book would have been just as sad if Dottie had made parenting all consuming. I think my take away from this book is the danger of loving any one thing to the exclusion of all else.
January 11, 2008
While browsing in the new fiction section of my local library, I noticed the spine of this book with the author’s last name: Mazzarella. Arrogantly, I thought, “I only know one Mazzarella, & she is a professor at Wheaton. I bet it’s her!” And laughed cynically. Well, it was her. And I changed my cynicism to an attitude of wishing I was with someone I knew, so that I could tell them, “Hey, I know this woman…”
In any case, I enjoyed this book. It tells the story of a woman named Dottie Connell, who spends her days fighting to keep her family land and raising her best friend’s daughter after a tragic accident. Mazzarella teaches creative writing at Wheaton, but I always thought of her as one of our “poetic professors.” I found her images - while powerful - distracting; it seemed to me like this was a novel written by a poet. Beautiful, but slightly more scattered than what a practiced novelist would write. Having said this, I am looking forward to future work from Dr. Mazzarella. Her eye for the extraordinary amid the humdrum will carry her, along with her readers, far.
In any case, I enjoyed this book. It tells the story of a woman named Dottie Connell, who spends her days fighting to keep her family land and raising her best friend’s daughter after a tragic accident. Mazzarella teaches creative writing at Wheaton, but I always thought of her as one of our “poetic professors.” I found her images - while powerful - distracting; it seemed to me like this was a novel written by a poet. Beautiful, but slightly more scattered than what a practiced novelist would write. Having said this, I am looking forward to future work from Dr. Mazzarella. Her eye for the extraordinary amid the humdrum will carry her, along with her readers, far.
September 4, 2007
Dottie tells her story, one of a farm woman with a deep love for her land. Dottie thought she was content with her solitary life on the farm, but when her best friend dies she has to take in her little girl. That girl and a hired hand form Dotties family, but when forced to decide between them and the land the land just might win out. Will Dottie ever learn that letting people into her life might just be what she needs?[return]This book, told from Dotties point of view, is heavy on introspection and heartbreaking situations. It would be a downer, but there is a glimmer of hope for the main character at the end, that she has actually learned something and will choose a better path. This is a good read for when you're in the mood for something slightly heavy to reflect on.
June 8, 2008
I picked this up on a whim. The title caught my eye in the library. It isn't the normal sort of story I look for, it is somewhat historical fiction.
Mazzarella weaves an amazing tale of a woman who is trying to farm her father's land when she inherits the daughter of her best friend.
The novel takes us through Dottie's struggles--from wanting to take her brother's place after his death, the scorn of a marriage that never happened, the truth behind her friend's death and the realization that most of her struggles are from her own making.
The prose was beatuiful and well written. There were many times I had to stop and just admire Mazzarella's descriptive language. While this isn't a book I would gush over, and it won't make me giddy, it was an amazing book.
Mazzarella weaves an amazing tale of a woman who is trying to farm her father's land when she inherits the daughter of her best friend.
The novel takes us through Dottie's struggles--from wanting to take her brother's place after his death, the scorn of a marriage that never happened, the truth behind her friend's death and the realization that most of her struggles are from her own making.
The prose was beatuiful and well written. There were many times I had to stop and just admire Mazzarella's descriptive language. While this isn't a book I would gush over, and it won't make me giddy, it was an amazing book.
September 9, 2008
This is a thought provoking book- it reminds me of something I would have read in my sophomore english class which would have required an essay just to examine one facet of the book. There are many many levels to look at and dissect. That being said- I found this to be a depressing book. It begins sad and it ends relatively sad. Not a lot happens and Dottie does not learn quickly- if at all. I hoped it would end differently- this hope kept me reading and when it didn't happen I felt like I had wasted my time and a bit of happiness. I prefer more uplifting books.
August 1, 2011
This book was okay. It was easy to read and a nice story with a some nice lessons, which I took to be "Don't let life pass you by" and "Forgive" but it didn't excite me and I don't think I'll remember it in a few weeks. What I did appreciate is that the author doesn't wrap everything up in a fairy-tale happy manner. That is one of my gripes with Christian Fiction in general, loving God, knowing Jesus doesn't necessarily make everything clean and easy. That said, I'm not sure if Dottie does ever put her faith in God. That would be a good discussion for a book club.
January 13, 2014
A very well written novel however the story left me flat. While an intriguing idea, I think it would have been more effective if told from a different point of view (Mattie) as the main character (Dottie) was wholly relatable or likeable and therefore hard to feel invested in her outcome. The ending left me feeling bad about the entire situation of the characters and left no resolution to their stories. Overall, a disappointment but rated 3 stars because of the wonderfull crafted writing and beautiful, vivid language.
November 26, 2015
Reading the reviews of this book is frustrating. I wonder if many of the critiques have to do with the fact that it was released by a Christian publishing house; it's not your typical 'Christian' novel- and that works incredibly in it's favor. The main character is not loveable but is painfully real. The plot is painful to read at times- in the way real is as well. Overall I was pleasantly surprised. The book felt true to life and was without presumption. I'd recommend it to anyone who's read and enjoyed Enger, Marilynne Robinson or Kent Haruf.
August 8, 2008
This book was interesting, I'll give it that. In many ways I did like this book, but there was one huge stumbling block for me. I just could not identify at all with Dottie, the main character. Luckily, it was a short book or I may not have finished reading it. It's not that it was a poorly written novel...I just had a hard time connecting with the character, and that's a big part of the reading experience for me personally.
April 13, 2008
This novel focuses on a woman trying to hold on to her farm in Ohio in the mid-20th century, who learns too late that she cared too much about the land to the exclusion of her relationships with others. It is a very dark novel, and as such will not appeal to some, but it left me with a lot to think about.
July 24, 2008
This book was beautifully written, and it was her first novel! I hope to find more books by her in the future.
This was not a light-hearted read, but it was haunting and the power of unforgiveness and bitterness is weighty.
I recommend this book, but not if you are looking for light and playful, but I guarantee you will think and feel and wonder what you will leave behind!
This was not a light-hearted read, but it was haunting and the power of unforgiveness and bitterness is weighty.
I recommend this book, but not if you are looking for light and playful, but I guarantee you will think and feel and wonder what you will leave behind!
February 27, 2014
I would have given it a zero if I could. Such a waste of time. I can't even relate to the story. It was a boring narrative of pure selfishness without being totally remorseful of what Dottie had done to Mattie's life or being uncaring to the poor man , Stanley. . The author didn't fully explain why Zela had to do it.
There's really nothing to grasp.
There's really nothing to grasp.
November 20, 2009
A great first novel; I was so into the characters that I felt horribly bereft when I finished. This was not improved by the lack of the happy ending I'd envisioned. Love of the land, thorny relationships complicate life for an unmarried female farmer in Ohio.
May 19, 2017
Moral of the story: Women should sit down and shut up. Are you kidding me???
Hundreds of years and untold thousands of women fighting for equal rights and here is a woman WITH those rights saying it's better to be a slave to men and have no rights at all? How does crap like this get published?
I identified strongly with the woman farmer fighting to make a living on her own land -- and so yeah, I felt scammed after she succumbs to the "sit down and shut up" message. If I ever do that, please -- someone take me to the vet and put me to sleep.
And oh yeah -- the Christian stuff sucked, too.
Hundreds of years and untold thousands of women fighting for equal rights and here is a woman WITH those rights saying it's better to be a slave to men and have no rights at all? How does crap like this get published?
I identified strongly with the woman farmer fighting to make a living on her own land -- and so yeah, I felt scammed after she succumbs to the "sit down and shut up" message. If I ever do that, please -- someone take me to the vet and put me to sleep.
And oh yeah -- the Christian stuff sucked, too.
January 27, 2008
Author brings humanity to a bitter, vindictive farm woman forced into hard life choices. My initial interest came from its setting: Pleasant Valley, Ohio.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews