What do you think?
Rate this book
The Answer Is in the Wound
“Lyrical and brutal, intimate and culturally relevant. I’ve never read anything like it.”—Maggie Smith
An intimate, linked, lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors—challenging a culture in which violence against women is normalized and illuminating the nonlinear, complex nature of recovery—from the acclaimed author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl
An affecting memoir-in-essays from the acclaimed author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl, The Answer Is in the Wound is a radical examination of the fractured, nonlinear nature of life after trauma. In this remarkable account of her own road to healing, Kelly Sundberg challenges a culture in which violence against women is normalized and writes against the implicit demand for survivors to “get over it.”
Kelly Sundberg’s abusive marriage nearly broke her, and finding the courage to leave and begin the difficult process of putting herself back together was only the beginning of her story. Deeply courageous, The Answer Is in the Wound deftly explores the trials and joys Sundberg encountered not only as a newly single parent but also as someone in full pursuit of life. She developed an appreciation for new spiritual practices, reclaimed her body through tattoos, and even became “the problem” rather than going along to get along in her professional life. From erasure poetry crafted from emails and a court-mandated apology letter from her ex-husband, to engaging with the research of some of the most prominent voices in fifty years of trauma psychiatry and psychology —from Judith Herman and Peter A. Levine to Bessel van der Kolk—The Answer Is in the Wound is a profound meditation on trauma and its lasting effects.
With the formal innovation and radical vulnerability of Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and the cerebral precision of Leslie Jamison’s The Empathy Exams, Sundberg’s breathtaking collection offers a redemptive arc for trauma survivors and vital insight into what makes healing possible.
An intimate, linked, lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors—challenging a culture in which violence against women is normalized and illuminating the nonlinear, complex nature of recovery—from the acclaimed author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl
An affecting memoir-in-essays from the acclaimed author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl, The Answer Is in the Wound is a radical examination of the fractured, nonlinear nature of life after trauma. In this remarkable account of her own road to healing, Kelly Sundberg challenges a culture in which violence against women is normalized and writes against the implicit demand for survivors to “get over it.”
Kelly Sundberg’s abusive marriage nearly broke her, and finding the courage to leave and begin the difficult process of putting herself back together was only the beginning of her story. Deeply courageous, The Answer Is in the Wound deftly explores the trials and joys Sundberg encountered not only as a newly single parent but also as someone in full pursuit of life. She developed an appreciation for new spiritual practices, reclaimed her body through tattoos, and even became “the problem” rather than going along to get along in her professional life. From erasure poetry crafted from emails and a court-mandated apology letter from her ex-husband, to engaging with the research of some of the most prominent voices in fifty years of trauma psychiatry and psychology —from Judith Herman and Peter A. Levine to Bessel van der Kolk—The Answer Is in the Wound is a profound meditation on trauma and its lasting effects.
With the formal innovation and radical vulnerability of Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and the cerebral precision of Leslie Jamison’s The Empathy Exams, Sundberg’s breathtaking collection offers a redemptive arc for trauma survivors and vital insight into what makes healing possible.
265 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 26, 2025
30 people are currently reading
5506 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
March 2, 2025
Have you ever heard the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?"
Not so fast.
With "The Answer Is in the Wound," Kelly Sundberg has crafted a remarkably intimate, fiercely engaging, and beautifully lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors.
As a survivor of sexual violence myself and with multiple traumatic experiences around disability, domestic violence, and suicide, I resonated immensely with Sundberg's revealing and challenging collection that challenges a culture in which violence against women, and in my case those with disabilities, is normalized. Sundberg weaves her words in such a way that she illuminates the complex, nonlinear nature of recovery and refuses to make it more palatable - because it's not - and reveals that what doesn't kill you actually stays with you in ways good and bad and redefining your very existence.
Does it mean that one can't heal? Of course not. Does it mean that there aren't areas where you may, in fact, end up stronger? Of course not. Sundberg's powerful revelations, however, serve as a vivid reminder that over-simplifying trauma recovery is a danger and that trauma often does linger in ways big and small in our daily lives and as we learn how to experience life, intimacy, relationships, parenting, and a myriad of other experiences without trauma but ever-present memories of it.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't simply a memoir nor is it simply Sundberg's own testimony. Sundberg creates a tapestry of testimony alongside trauma research to craft a poignant yet fact-based redemptive arc for the trauma survivor. Sundberg paints us a portrait of a redemptive arc that embraces the new reality of who we are post-trauma, an approach that resonates deeply with me and is likely at least part of the reason for my own ability to survive and thrive post-trauma.
At times, "The Answer Is in the Wound" feels like a loud reclamation of self - such as when Sundberg creates erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband's apologetic emails.
Remarkable. Simply remarkable.
Sundberg shares ideas and research from familiar names like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter Levine to not just drive home research but to also affirm so much of what she writes so beautifully here.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't always an easy read. It's not intended to be an easy read. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It's raw. It's victorious.
For those who've experienced trauma, especially of a more interpersonal nature, "The Answer Is in the Wound" is a book that deserves to be in one's library of hope.
Not so fast.
With "The Answer Is in the Wound," Kelly Sundberg has crafted a remarkably intimate, fiercely engaging, and beautifully lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors.
As a survivor of sexual violence myself and with multiple traumatic experiences around disability, domestic violence, and suicide, I resonated immensely with Sundberg's revealing and challenging collection that challenges a culture in which violence against women, and in my case those with disabilities, is normalized. Sundberg weaves her words in such a way that she illuminates the complex, nonlinear nature of recovery and refuses to make it more palatable - because it's not - and reveals that what doesn't kill you actually stays with you in ways good and bad and redefining your very existence.
Does it mean that one can't heal? Of course not. Does it mean that there aren't areas where you may, in fact, end up stronger? Of course not. Sundberg's powerful revelations, however, serve as a vivid reminder that over-simplifying trauma recovery is a danger and that trauma often does linger in ways big and small in our daily lives and as we learn how to experience life, intimacy, relationships, parenting, and a myriad of other experiences without trauma but ever-present memories of it.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't simply a memoir nor is it simply Sundberg's own testimony. Sundberg creates a tapestry of testimony alongside trauma research to craft a poignant yet fact-based redemptive arc for the trauma survivor. Sundberg paints us a portrait of a redemptive arc that embraces the new reality of who we are post-trauma, an approach that resonates deeply with me and is likely at least part of the reason for my own ability to survive and thrive post-trauma.
At times, "The Answer Is in the Wound" feels like a loud reclamation of self - such as when Sundberg creates erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband's apologetic emails.
Remarkable. Simply remarkable.
Sundberg shares ideas and research from familiar names like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter Levine to not just drive home research but to also affirm so much of what she writes so beautifully here.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't always an easy read. It's not intended to be an easy read. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It's raw. It's victorious.
For those who've experienced trauma, especially of a more interpersonal nature, "The Answer Is in the Wound" is a book that deserves to be in one's library of hope.
June 25, 2025
** Full, upfront disclosure: I won a copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway, and I also personally know Kelly. That being said, this is my honest review. **
Incandescent. That's the first word that came to mind when I finished The Answer Is In The Wound less than 24 hours after I started it. I was riveted by these haunting essays, which take formal risks and incorporate research about the long-term impacts of domestic violence and trauma more broadly. Woven throughout are documents, mainly erasures in the form of emailed apologies sent by Sundberg's abusive ex-husband. The result is a rich, cohesive collection of essays that span Sundberg's adolescence, early relationships, first marriage, motherhood, and remarriage.
Sundberg addresses what strikes me as little-discussed aspect of surviving trauma: it can make you do out of character things, perhaps even be a little unlikeable. Her willingness to disclose so openly--to "go there" even at the risk of alienating readers––is exactly what makes her voice so engaging.
These essays do indeed shimmer with rage, but what surprised me most is its uplifting shift in tone, the cautiously held optimism in the midst of that anger, grief, and struggle to survive. Some might call this a memoir-in-essays about surviving domestic violence--and while that's certainly true--what struck me most about The Answer Is in the Wound is its portrayal of true, unconditional love. This is perhaps the most moving account of motherhood I've ever read (and yeah, I'm a childless crone, so that's saying a lot--this is not a subject that often moves me).
I'm heartened to see Roxane Gay's imprint continuing to publish works of such literary excellence. Thank you for the opportunity to read this powerful book (which I will be purchasing).
Incandescent. That's the first word that came to mind when I finished The Answer Is In The Wound less than 24 hours after I started it. I was riveted by these haunting essays, which take formal risks and incorporate research about the long-term impacts of domestic violence and trauma more broadly. Woven throughout are documents, mainly erasures in the form of emailed apologies sent by Sundberg's abusive ex-husband. The result is a rich, cohesive collection of essays that span Sundberg's adolescence, early relationships, first marriage, motherhood, and remarriage.
Sundberg addresses what strikes me as little-discussed aspect of surviving trauma: it can make you do out of character things, perhaps even be a little unlikeable. Her willingness to disclose so openly--to "go there" even at the risk of alienating readers––is exactly what makes her voice so engaging.
These essays do indeed shimmer with rage, but what surprised me most is its uplifting shift in tone, the cautiously held optimism in the midst of that anger, grief, and struggle to survive. Some might call this a memoir-in-essays about surviving domestic violence--and while that's certainly true--what struck me most about The Answer Is in the Wound is its portrayal of true, unconditional love. This is perhaps the most moving account of motherhood I've ever read (and yeah, I'm a childless crone, so that's saying a lot--this is not a subject that often moves me).
I'm heartened to see Roxane Gay's imprint continuing to publish works of such literary excellence. Thank you for the opportunity to read this powerful book (which I will be purchasing).
February 20, 2025
The Answer Is In The Wound by Kelly Sundberg, is a very personal, tender collection of autobiographical essays, that fit together in a practically seamless manner.
Describing her marriage to an abusive husband, and the far reaching and long term consequences of this trauma, and the extensive and arduous healing process, Sundberg touches on the stigma associated with this type of violence.
Profound quotes from some of my favourite authors are effectively spread throughout the book, enhancing the understanding of Sundberg’s thoughts, influences and writing. Themes of feminism, motherhood, resilience, healing, grief, love, and sacrifice all come together in this incredible book.
Expected Publication Date: August 26, 2025
Many thanks to NetGalley, Kelly Sundberg, and Grove Atlantic for access to an eARC. All opinions are my own.
Describing her marriage to an abusive husband, and the far reaching and long term consequences of this trauma, and the extensive and arduous healing process, Sundberg touches on the stigma associated with this type of violence.
Profound quotes from some of my favourite authors are effectively spread throughout the book, enhancing the understanding of Sundberg’s thoughts, influences and writing. Themes of feminism, motherhood, resilience, healing, grief, love, and sacrifice all come together in this incredible book.
Expected Publication Date: August 26, 2025
Many thanks to NetGalley, Kelly Sundberg, and Grove Atlantic for access to an eARC. All opinions are my own.
September 5, 2025
“I am the problem.
It wasn’t being abused that made me the problem. It wasn’t leaving my abusive marriage that made me the problem. It was the act of speaking that made me the problem.”
💌 Thank you so much to Roxane Gay Books for sending me a copy of this incredible memoir. So meaningful. A perfect companion.
I really feel like, for me, reading this in September, days from my birthday, felt like a gift to myself and served as a reminder that where I’ve been and where I am now can exist, and should, in tandem.
I know that reading memoirs is about opening ourselves to the experience of others, expanding our empathy and understanding the world better — but it can also crash into you a level of validation and reverence that heals parts of you. Over and over again I found myself crying for the pain and experience she was navigating — but also for my own experience, rendered through her story, specific details that sparked memories. It was like having a friend, another woman, to talk to… something I didn’t have when I left my own abusive marriage or in the years after. Something that seems precious and necessary. But I’m not the only victim, or survivor, that doesn’t have support and for that, I believe reading this will be cathartic for others.
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are serious, and still seriously stigmatized. I lost more people because I refused to be abused than any other questionable act I’ve ever committed. This memoir is the kind of read that will force you to see, to know, what survivors NEED you to see and know. It’s so important to listen to people and make space for their narratives. It’s a hard read but one that will leave you change, for the better, or perhaps even seen for the first time.
And remember… BELIEVE VICTIMS.
It wasn’t being abused that made me the problem. It wasn’t leaving my abusive marriage that made me the problem. It was the act of speaking that made me the problem.”
💌 Thank you so much to Roxane Gay Books for sending me a copy of this incredible memoir. So meaningful. A perfect companion.
I really feel like, for me, reading this in September, days from my birthday, felt like a gift to myself and served as a reminder that where I’ve been and where I am now can exist, and should, in tandem.
I know that reading memoirs is about opening ourselves to the experience of others, expanding our empathy and understanding the world better — but it can also crash into you a level of validation and reverence that heals parts of you. Over and over again I found myself crying for the pain and experience she was navigating — but also for my own experience, rendered through her story, specific details that sparked memories. It was like having a friend, another woman, to talk to… something I didn’t have when I left my own abusive marriage or in the years after. Something that seems precious and necessary. But I’m not the only victim, or survivor, that doesn’t have support and for that, I believe reading this will be cathartic for others.
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are serious, and still seriously stigmatized. I lost more people because I refused to be abused than any other questionable act I’ve ever committed. This memoir is the kind of read that will force you to see, to know, what survivors NEED you to see and know. It’s so important to listen to people and make space for their narratives. It’s a hard read but one that will leave you change, for the better, or perhaps even seen for the first time.
And remember… BELIEVE VICTIMS.
October 12, 2025
This is the first memoir I’ve ever read, and it was real and raw. Kelly Sundberg’s honesty and openness make this book relatable for anyone who has experienced trauma. She shares her experiences with domestic violence and being a single parent with courage and vulnerability. Reading her story is heartbreaking at times, but also incredibly powerful and inspiring.
The book includes essays, poems, emails, and even court documents, which really put you in her shoes and make her experiences feel immediate and personal. I felt a roller coaster of emotions while reading this, from anger and sadness to hope. Sundberg’s writing encourages others to speak up and share their own stories.
This memoir is brave, emotional, and a reminder of the strength it takes to face and process trauma.
Thank you to Grove Atlantic, Roxane Gay Books, and NetGalley for the eARC!
September 9, 2025
One of the most stunning and gutting memoirs I’ve ever read. A collection of personal essays that each stand on their own, but together form a lyrically rich narrative of grief, escape, and reclamation.
June 21, 2025
Book Review: The Answer Is in the Wound by Kelly Sundberg
Rating: 4.9/5
Initial Impressions
This memoir-in-essays is a raw, luminous excavation of trauma and survival. Sundberg’s writing—equal parts lyrical and unflinching—refuses to conform to linear narratives of recovery, mirroring the fragmented reality of PTSD. Blending personal narrative with erasure poetry, research citations, and cultural critique, the book dismantles the expectation that survivors must “move on” from violence.
Emotional Resonance & Reactions
Reading this felt like witnessing a metamorphosis. Sundberg’s vulnerability—whether reclaiming her body through tattoos or dissecting her ex-husband’s court-mandated apology—left me breathless. The essay format amplified the emotional impact, with each piece functioning like a scar: tender, textured, and testament to resilience. Moments of dark humor (e.g., professional life as the problem) provided levity, while her engagement with trauma experts (van der Kolk, Levine) grounded the work in scholarly rigor. At times, the nonlinear structure disoriented me, but intentionally so—echoing the dissonance of healing.
Strengths
-Formal Innovation: Erasure poetry crafted from abusive emails and legal documents transforms pain into art, offering a visceral critique of systemic gaslighting.
-Cultural Urgency: Challenges the normalization of violence against women, particularly in how society demands performative forgiveness from survivors.
-Holistic Healing: Explores spiritual practices, somatic reclaiming, and professional rebellion as interconnected acts of self-restoration.
Constructive Criticism
-Pacing: Some experimental sections (e.g., fragmented timelines) may alienate readers seeking a traditional memoir arc.
-Theoretical Density: While illuminating, the integration of trauma research occasionally interrupts the narrative’s emotional flow.
-Scope: A deeper exploration of intersectional trauma (e.g., race, class) could broaden its relevance beyond Sundberg’s lived experience.
Final Verdict
The Answer Is in the Wound is a masterpiece of survival literature—a book that wounds and heals in equal measure. Its brilliance lies in Sundberg’s refusal to simplify trauma, instead honoring its complexity with prose that cuts and comforts.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for the review copy.
Rating: 4.9/5 (A seismic, essential work that redefines what it means to carry—and transcend—pain.)
Rating: 4.9/5
Initial Impressions
This memoir-in-essays is a raw, luminous excavation of trauma and survival. Sundberg’s writing—equal parts lyrical and unflinching—refuses to conform to linear narratives of recovery, mirroring the fragmented reality of PTSD. Blending personal narrative with erasure poetry, research citations, and cultural critique, the book dismantles the expectation that survivors must “move on” from violence.
Emotional Resonance & Reactions
Reading this felt like witnessing a metamorphosis. Sundberg’s vulnerability—whether reclaiming her body through tattoos or dissecting her ex-husband’s court-mandated apology—left me breathless. The essay format amplified the emotional impact, with each piece functioning like a scar: tender, textured, and testament to resilience. Moments of dark humor (e.g., professional life as the problem) provided levity, while her engagement with trauma experts (van der Kolk, Levine) grounded the work in scholarly rigor. At times, the nonlinear structure disoriented me, but intentionally so—echoing the dissonance of healing.
Strengths
-Formal Innovation: Erasure poetry crafted from abusive emails and legal documents transforms pain into art, offering a visceral critique of systemic gaslighting.
-Cultural Urgency: Challenges the normalization of violence against women, particularly in how society demands performative forgiveness from survivors.
-Holistic Healing: Explores spiritual practices, somatic reclaiming, and professional rebellion as interconnected acts of self-restoration.
Constructive Criticism
-Pacing: Some experimental sections (e.g., fragmented timelines) may alienate readers seeking a traditional memoir arc.
-Theoretical Density: While illuminating, the integration of trauma research occasionally interrupts the narrative’s emotional flow.
-Scope: A deeper exploration of intersectional trauma (e.g., race, class) could broaden its relevance beyond Sundberg’s lived experience.
Final Verdict
The Answer Is in the Wound is a masterpiece of survival literature—a book that wounds and heals in equal measure. Its brilliance lies in Sundberg’s refusal to simplify trauma, instead honoring its complexity with prose that cuts and comforts.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for the review copy.
Rating: 4.9/5 (A seismic, essential work that redefines what it means to carry—and transcend—pain.)
March 16, 2025
I read this over the course of a few days, and whilst the entire book had me in tears, the ending really needing to hold them back.
Sundberg’s recount of her story is emotional and hard-hitting. It deeply goes into her feelings, memories and thoughts before, during and after her traumatic experience with domestic violence.
It’s uniquely done, with transcripts, email logs and letters- and her writing together with it all makes you feel her anger and fear. You feel how she felt, and you see the other side, that so many people never get to see.
Saying I love this book isn’t quite right. Because I will never love that people have these experiences to share. But I admire this book. I admire the courage, strength, anger and sheer force of will behind writing it.
Sundberg’s recount of her story is emotional and hard-hitting. It deeply goes into her feelings, memories and thoughts before, during and after her traumatic experience with domestic violence.
It’s uniquely done, with transcripts, email logs and letters- and her writing together with it all makes you feel her anger and fear. You feel how she felt, and you see the other side, that so many people never get to see.
Saying I love this book isn’t quite right. Because I will never love that people have these experiences to share. But I admire this book. I admire the courage, strength, anger and sheer force of will behind writing it.
September 29, 2025
Its hard to write a review for a book so deeply personal without feeling like it will impact the author. There are parts of this that are so powerful and raw and heavy and other parts where I felt like I was reading the same chapter, the same lines, the same phrases over and over again. As someone who has experienced abuse, I have the utmost respect for Kelly and the hell she powered through to get to the other side, to safety. I think I'll leave my review at that.
March 24, 2025
&/);@@-*’, bf
October 6, 2025
Another men hating, woke, queer, lesbian book. She believes Amber Heard😩 Not my type of book!
October 11, 2025
This was a beautifully-written memoir told in a collection of essays. The writer’s words are raw and it took some grit to read some spots but I’m glad I did. *Advance copy provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
September 20, 2025
Edit: changing this to 4 stars
First of all, I loved the memoir in essay format which really lended to the readability of this one as it’s broken up into short chapters. Fans of You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith will love this (I ADORED that one as well). The essays themselves can standalone (and have as some have been published) but are designed to be read in chronological order. I felt that was really thoughtful and creative. Although it is described as lyrical, I felt it was very approachable and readable.
Kelly Sundberg’a story was raw and realistic but also somehow left me feeling hopeful. I really enjoyed this one and would recommend to lovers of memoirs, poetry, and anyone who craves more insight into intimate partner violence (or victims that just want to feel seen and inspired). I’ll definitely be reading Sundberg’s other memoir after this one. Bravo
First of all, I loved the memoir in essay format which really lended to the readability of this one as it’s broken up into short chapters. Fans of You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith will love this (I ADORED that one as well). The essays themselves can standalone (and have as some have been published) but are designed to be read in chronological order. I felt that was really thoughtful and creative. Although it is described as lyrical, I felt it was very approachable and readable.
Kelly Sundberg’a story was raw and realistic but also somehow left me feeling hopeful. I really enjoyed this one and would recommend to lovers of memoirs, poetry, and anyone who craves more insight into intimate partner violence (or victims that just want to feel seen and inspired). I’ll definitely be reading Sundberg’s other memoir after this one. Bravo
August 29, 2025
I waited 7 years for this book and I'd do it again for her next one, but I hope I don't have to.
Thank you Grove Atlantic / Roxane Gay Books / Netgalley for allowing me to read this in advance. What a treat.
Thank you Grove Atlantic / Roxane Gay Books / Netgalley for allowing me to read this in advance. What a treat.
September 24, 2025
Thanks to Grove Atlantic and Netgalley for this eARC.
Kelly Sundberg’s The Answer Is in the Wound is not a memoir in the traditional sense—it’s a reckoning. A genre-defying, form-shattering meditation on survival, this collection of essays, erasure poetry, and archival fragments refuses the tidy arc of trauma-to-triumph. Instead, Sundberg offers something far more radical: a narrative that honors the mess, the rage, and the alchemical transformation of pain into power.
This is a memoir as a mosaic. Sundberg blends court documents, letters, erasure poems (including one crafted from an email from her ex-husband), and lyrical essays that range from swans and Barbies to bruises and disembodiment. The result is a hybrid text that feels both intimate and expansive, a literary collage that mirrors the fractured nature of trauma itself.
Sundberg challenges the cultural script that demands survivors “get over it.” Her writing pulses with rage—not as destruction, but as sacred fuel. She explores motherhood, single parenting, spirituality, and the lingering effects of domestic violence with a voice that is both defiant and tender. “I cannot unravel what happened to me. I cannot make it make sense,” she writes, and in that refusal, she makes space for complexity, opacity, and truth.
Drawing on trauma theory from Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, Sundberg situates her personal experience within a broader cultural and psychological framework. But this is no academic treatise—it’s a visceral, heart-worn journey. Her prose is lyrical and brutal, cerebral and embodied, reminiscent of Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and Leslie Jamison’s The Empathy Exams, yet unmistakably her own.
🌲From her Mormon upbringing to her retreat into wilderness, Sundberg’s landscapes are both literal and metaphorical. Nature becomes a site of refuge and reflection, while the domestic sphere—once a place of violence—is reimagined through tattoos, spiritual practices, and the reclamation of her body.
The Answer Is in the Wound is a painfully beautiful, fiercely original memoir that refuses closure and instead offers communion. It’s a book for anyone who’s lived through trauma, questioned the narrative of recovery, or sought to transmute suffering into something sacred. Sundberg doesn’t just write about wounds—she writes from within them, and in doing so, she invites us to witness the alchemy of survival.
Kelly Sundberg’s The Answer Is in the Wound is not a memoir in the traditional sense—it’s a reckoning. A genre-defying, form-shattering meditation on survival, this collection of essays, erasure poetry, and archival fragments refuses the tidy arc of trauma-to-triumph. Instead, Sundberg offers something far more radical: a narrative that honors the mess, the rage, and the alchemical transformation of pain into power.
This is a memoir as a mosaic. Sundberg blends court documents, letters, erasure poems (including one crafted from an email from her ex-husband), and lyrical essays that range from swans and Barbies to bruises and disembodiment. The result is a hybrid text that feels both intimate and expansive, a literary collage that mirrors the fractured nature of trauma itself.
Sundberg challenges the cultural script that demands survivors “get over it.” Her writing pulses with rage—not as destruction, but as sacred fuel. She explores motherhood, single parenting, spirituality, and the lingering effects of domestic violence with a voice that is both defiant and tender. “I cannot unravel what happened to me. I cannot make it make sense,” she writes, and in that refusal, she makes space for complexity, opacity, and truth.
Drawing on trauma theory from Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, Sundberg situates her personal experience within a broader cultural and psychological framework. But this is no academic treatise—it’s a visceral, heart-worn journey. Her prose is lyrical and brutal, cerebral and embodied, reminiscent of Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and Leslie Jamison’s The Empathy Exams, yet unmistakably her own.
🌲From her Mormon upbringing to her retreat into wilderness, Sundberg’s landscapes are both literal and metaphorical. Nature becomes a site of refuge and reflection, while the domestic sphere—once a place of violence—is reimagined through tattoos, spiritual practices, and the reclamation of her body.
The Answer Is in the Wound is a painfully beautiful, fiercely original memoir that refuses closure and instead offers communion. It’s a book for anyone who’s lived through trauma, questioned the narrative of recovery, or sought to transmute suffering into something sacred. Sundberg doesn’t just write about wounds—she writes from within them, and in doing so, she invites us to witness the alchemy of survival.
January 16, 2026
To be honest, I didn't actually like this book as much as I had hoped to. However, I'd still like to express my thoughts on it and explain why I didn't like it.
*I unfortunately didnt time this read as it was one I picked to write about in school*
This is someones life as it is a biography and I am not one to judge, this is purely a review on the writing and format but not a judge of the person.
So As a General review, this was a long journey, and I truly learned so much about her and her past. It really ws able to express how deep her trauma ran. I had sucha big realization that people who've been abused often feel they wont be believed and instead are forced to think its their own fault. That, however, led me to my first dislike, the fact that she spoke about how she felt she didn't have a voice, BUT then whenever anyone else would speak up she would put them down. Making it a point to decide if they were 'privileged', it felt quite like a double standard she was holding on to them. Towards the end, there was very little growth, and though she became remarried into a healthier relationship, every sentence still seemed to lead back to her ex. I also felt a slight amount of victimizing in cases where shed talk about how this always happens to her and its a never ending cycle but then when it came to picking a partner the safe ones were.. boring?.
The amount of anger that was expressed throughout the book was oftentimes oeverwhelming but I didnt see that as a bad thing! it was her true feelings on the matter and thats what was important in her story! just have that in mind if you choose to read this!
Now I dont understand every part of this book but nonetheless it was inspiring to read about her story and how she preservered through it and the biggest lesson I learned was that to forgive someone else sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and learn to love ourselves first.
This book wasnt for me but thats not to say it wont be for others!!!
*I unfortunately didnt time this read as it was one I picked to write about in school*
This is someones life as it is a biography and I am not one to judge, this is purely a review on the writing and format but not a judge of the person.
So As a General review, this was a long journey, and I truly learned so much about her and her past. It really ws able to express how deep her trauma ran. I had sucha big realization that people who've been abused often feel they wont be believed and instead are forced to think its their own fault. That, however, led me to my first dislike, the fact that she spoke about how she felt she didn't have a voice, BUT then whenever anyone else would speak up she would put them down. Making it a point to decide if they were 'privileged', it felt quite like a double standard she was holding on to them. Towards the end, there was very little growth, and though she became remarried into a healthier relationship, every sentence still seemed to lead back to her ex. I also felt a slight amount of victimizing in cases where shed talk about how this always happens to her and its a never ending cycle but then when it came to picking a partner the safe ones were.. boring?.
The amount of anger that was expressed throughout the book was oftentimes oeverwhelming but I didnt see that as a bad thing! it was her true feelings on the matter and thats what was important in her story! just have that in mind if you choose to read this!
Now I dont understand every part of this book but nonetheless it was inspiring to read about her story and how she preservered through it and the biggest lesson I learned was that to forgive someone else sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and learn to love ourselves first.
This book wasnt for me but thats not to say it wont be for others!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 12, 2025
Sundberg's engaging, thoughtful, and heartbreaking essays consider how the past continues to influence the author's present, sometimes in unexpected ways, as the legacy of trauma.
In her introduction she briefly chronicles her early life in a rural Mormon milieu, her escape to a term of university, and her youthful sense of adventure that led her to solitary work in the forest. She also notes that this sequence of lyric essays departs from her previous book, the account of an abusive marriage in her memoir Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival. Here, Sundberg is concerned not just with survival but with the complex aftermath of trauma, of how survivors live in the world when we have been profoundly damaged by it and when our capacity to trust has eroded.
The form of this set of essays is distinctive, even unique: Sundberg incorporates redacted found text to link sometimes brief snippets of memory and narrative. Often these are suggestive and elliptical rather than fully spelled out, inviting readers into the effort of co-constructing meaning.
There are startling images, poignant metaphors, and unusual turns of phrase. On one page the reader will be confronted with a stark statement: "One of the swans was murdered; he was stabbed in the night." And then the terse, elliptical language will open up into more lyrical and extended passages which meditate on abuse, sexuality, shame, and the female body.
A gorgeous, necessary book.
In her introduction she briefly chronicles her early life in a rural Mormon milieu, her escape to a term of university, and her youthful sense of adventure that led her to solitary work in the forest. She also notes that this sequence of lyric essays departs from her previous book, the account of an abusive marriage in her memoir Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival. Here, Sundberg is concerned not just with survival but with the complex aftermath of trauma, of how survivors live in the world when we have been profoundly damaged by it and when our capacity to trust has eroded.
The form of this set of essays is distinctive, even unique: Sundberg incorporates redacted found text to link sometimes brief snippets of memory and narrative. Often these are suggestive and elliptical rather than fully spelled out, inviting readers into the effort of co-constructing meaning.
There are startling images, poignant metaphors, and unusual turns of phrase. On one page the reader will be confronted with a stark statement: "One of the swans was murdered; he was stabbed in the night." And then the terse, elliptical language will open up into more lyrical and extended passages which meditate on abuse, sexuality, shame, and the female body.
A gorgeous, necessary book.
July 9, 2025
The Answer Is in the Wound is a gorgeous series of connected reflections. Although this is a book of essays, it reads much like a memoir because each essay is so deeply interlinked with what comes before and after, and specific themes and events are carried throughout the book. This creates a lovely arc, or multi-arcs. Sundberg moves through time deftly, without losing her reader. She is fiery and strong in her authorial voice, yet willing to portray herself honestly, with vulnerability and compassion, as she reflects on her upbringing, sense of place (or displacement) in her small hometown and the wider world, and experiences being a woman and girl who defines herself as smart, not beautiful. Reading this, I get the sense that Kelly knows herself very well. A trustworthy narrator who also treads gently as she parses through what's hers, what's been ascribed to her, what she's taken on and what she is ready to let go of.
This is one of those books that, because of its honesty, allows the reader to see themselves in a new light. It reveals as much about the reader (to the reader) as it does about the author. Or that was my experience. I recommend this book to anyone who has felt like an outsider, who'd experienced life as a woman (or knows women), and who has been locked in an abusive relationship. I'd go so far as to say it's required reading for anyone who has hurt or been hurt, which is almost everyone.
This is one of those books that, because of its honesty, allows the reader to see themselves in a new light. It reveals as much about the reader (to the reader) as it does about the author. Or that was my experience. I recommend this book to anyone who has felt like an outsider, who'd experienced life as a woman (or knows women), and who has been locked in an abusive relationship. I'd go so far as to say it's required reading for anyone who has hurt or been hurt, which is almost everyone.
August 27, 2025
4.5 - “I have screamed and screamed, and I will keep screaming for as long as it takes. I will scream until I have saved myself, and when I stop screaming, I will know that I have screamed for all of us—the women who could not speak.”
Thank you to Roxane Gay Books and HarperCollins for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
This beautiful, heartbreaking collection of essays reads almost like a memoir. Kelly Sundberg writes about her abuse and the aftermath in such an incredible way. She confronts the justice system and how it failed her, and the fact that her abusive ex-husband is still regarded as a good person by others. Her struggles are heart-wrenching, but there are glimmers of hope throughout all of the essays.
While it’s difficult to read at times, I found Sundberg’s writing to be captivating and raw. There is an innate honestly and vulnerability in these essays that makes it feel relatable. The essays are arranged in a clear order to provide this arc of trauma and healing. She acknowledges her trauma while also acknowledging how far she has come from it to the life she has created for herself and her son.
It feels like a different perspective on abuse, especially when it comes to the after. Sundberg touches on how it has affected her and that it causes her to do or react in ways she normally wouldn’t. Discussing this aspect of trauma felt important in a way that I had not yet come across. This is a valuable essay collection that I’m sure will resonate with so many people.
Thank you to Roxane Gay Books and HarperCollins for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
This beautiful, heartbreaking collection of essays reads almost like a memoir. Kelly Sundberg writes about her abuse and the aftermath in such an incredible way. She confronts the justice system and how it failed her, and the fact that her abusive ex-husband is still regarded as a good person by others. Her struggles are heart-wrenching, but there are glimmers of hope throughout all of the essays.
While it’s difficult to read at times, I found Sundberg’s writing to be captivating and raw. There is an innate honestly and vulnerability in these essays that makes it feel relatable. The essays are arranged in a clear order to provide this arc of trauma and healing. She acknowledges her trauma while also acknowledging how far she has come from it to the life she has created for herself and her son.
It feels like a different perspective on abuse, especially when it comes to the after. Sundberg touches on how it has affected her and that it causes her to do or react in ways she normally wouldn’t. Discussing this aspect of trauma felt important in a way that I had not yet come across. This is a valuable essay collection that I’m sure will resonate with so many people.
November 22, 2025
The Answer is in the Wound by Kelly Sundberg is a memoir in essays that examines domestic violence, the effects of trauma, and the cyclical nature of healing. Sundberg’s prose is accessible and inviting, despite the nature of her story. In the introduction, she tells us that “the destination is hope” and pulls us towards resilience in each essay. One of the things that kept me reading is that Sundberg wants to understand how trauma replicates in her life, to examine to her shadow side and the ways her mind/body try to protect itself. She is vulnerable about the layers of broken trust in her life, with her exes, herself, and the family and community around her who weren’t there to stop the violence from happening. She looks straight into the pain of other people’s silences, and claims agency when she recognizes that “silence is complicity” (114). She shares the difficulties of her healing process—including how certain beliefs or tools or people aided or failed her in her process.
It’s a collection that is refreshingly honest, including in its promise of hope
It’s a collection that is refreshingly honest, including in its promise of hope
October 27, 2025
Kelly Sundberg’s The Answer Is in the Wound is a searing yet beautifully restorative exploration of trauma, survival, and the nonlinear path toward healing. Through deeply reflective essays, Sundberg transforms personal pain into literary power balancing raw vulnerability with the intellectual rigor of a scholar.
Her approach, weaving personal narrative with psychological insight from figures like Judith Herman and Bessel van der Kolk, elevates the book beyond memoir into a profound meditation on resilience and the reconstruction of self. The incorporation of erasure poetry gives voice to silence itself, turning once-agonizing memories into creative defiance.
This book is both an act of courage and a map for those still navigating the aftermath of trauma. It’s written with a voice that is deeply human, fiercely honest, and quietly triumphant making it a significant contribution to feminist literature and the psychology of recovery.
Her approach, weaving personal narrative with psychological insight from figures like Judith Herman and Bessel van der Kolk, elevates the book beyond memoir into a profound meditation on resilience and the reconstruction of self. The incorporation of erasure poetry gives voice to silence itself, turning once-agonizing memories into creative defiance.
This book is both an act of courage and a map for those still navigating the aftermath of trauma. It’s written with a voice that is deeply human, fiercely honest, and quietly triumphant making it a significant contribution to feminist literature and the psychology of recovery.
December 15, 2025
As the orphaned child of a mother who died because of patriarchal violence, I was deeply touched by this poignantly written and emotional read, which I scooped up as soon as I saw it was on Roxane Gay's reading list. Not only did Kelly engage with such honesty and openness about her experiences leaving an abusive marriage, I found the writing to be exquisite and the storytelling to be captivating, which as a writer myself, I know is no small feat when writing about traumatic experience. So powerful! One of my personal favorites from this year. So much so, that I am now going back to share my brief review. If you are at all interested in the themes this book explores, you will not be disappointed by this story. I cannot recommend it more highly.
October 7, 2025
Hey there!
I just binged your story and wow I’m obsessed! The scenes were so detailed and vivid, I felt like I was right there. The world you’ve created is so dynamic, and I couldn’t stop picturing how amazing it would look as a comic.
I’m a commissioned artist and would LOVE to collaborate with you sometime if you’re interested. No pressure at all I just had to share the idea because I’m so inspired right now.
You can reach me on Discord (aangelinaa._) if you’d like to talk or check out my portfolio.
Thanks for such an awesome read!
Cheers,
Angelina
I just binged your story and wow I’m obsessed! The scenes were so detailed and vivid, I felt like I was right there. The world you’ve created is so dynamic, and I couldn’t stop picturing how amazing it would look as a comic.
I’m a commissioned artist and would LOVE to collaborate with you sometime if you’re interested. No pressure at all I just had to share the idea because I’m so inspired right now.
You can reach me on Discord (aangelinaa._) if you’d like to talk or check out my portfolio.
Thanks for such an awesome read!
Cheers,
Angelina
August 26, 2025
This book expands not only the timeline of the first memoir, Goodbye, Sweet Girl, but it expands the insights and learning. The author is now able to witness her life.
"To witness is to see, to believe, and to accept without judgment. ...This is not a burden but a gift. Maybe this is the lesson my spirit has chosen to learn in this lifetime." p. 228
I'm happy to add this to my collection of memoirs about the process of healing from trauma.
"To witness is to see, to believe, and to accept without judgment. ...This is not a burden but a gift. Maybe this is the lesson my spirit has chosen to learn in this lifetime." p. 228
I'm happy to add this to my collection of memoirs about the process of healing from trauma.
October 27, 2025
A memoir of trauma and survival as the author, in essay form, writes of her childhood and young adulthood, growing up in rural Idaho to conservative Christian parents and living in an abusive marriage. Striving to overcome her divorce, the grief and pain of married life, raising her son as a single mother, and the effects of “normalization” of violence against women, Sundberg describes in heart-wrenching and heart-warming form the nonlinear arc to recovery, spirituality, and post-PTSD life.
March 11, 2025
It’s the kind of book you read and read. You don’t stop to think, reflect or do anything. You just feel and read. It’s devastating and triggering but also beautiful. Memories of abuse follow you everywhere and Sundberg offers a glimpse of transforming the rage into strength. A highly recommended book for those who want to understand post traumatic recovery. Thank you Netgalley for the e-ARC
December 19, 2025
Powerful essays on how the wounds of abuse themselves provide the answer for healing. I learned about varied practices needed to heal, which can counteract systems that do not provide closure and continue not to believe women about abuse. Highly recommended.
Full disclosure: I know Kelly somewhat from the past.
Full disclosure: I know Kelly somewhat from the past.
March 20, 2025
6⭐️
[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]
an absolutely stunning collection of autobiographical essays. i loved the geographical metaphors, & the way the author weaves her tales together was so beautiful. absolutely one to pick up
[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]
an absolutely stunning collection of autobiographical essays. i loved the geographical metaphors, & the way the author weaves her tales together was so beautiful. absolutely one to pick up
August 19, 2025
This brave and honest memoir about trauma and healing was deeply personal for me. I felt as though someone had read my thoughts and decided to tell parts of my story. This book has earned its place in my 5 star memoirs hall of fame!
August 22, 2025
A stunning collection of interrelated essays on Sundberg's trauma from a pattern of abusive relationships. Speaks to general themes of domestic abuse and how/why women's stories are not always believed. Not only is Sundberg's story raw and heartbreaking, her writing is positively captivating.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews