An entertaining and enlightening book about how ancient peoples dealt with death—and what we might learn from them
A lively story of death, What to Expect When You’re Dead explores the fascinating death-related beliefs and practices of a wide range of ancient cultures and traditions—Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Hindu, Jewish, Zoroastrian, Etruscan, Greek, Roman, Early Christian, and Islamic. By drawing on the latest scholarship on ancient archaeology, art, literature, and funerary inscriptions, Robert Garland invites readers to put themselves in the sandals of ancient peoples and to imagine their mental state moment by moment as they sought—in ways that turn out to be remarkably similar to ours—to assist the dead on their journey to the next world and to understand life’s greatest mystery.
What to Expect When You’re Dead chronicles the ways ancient peoples answered questions such How to achieve a good death and afterlife? What’s the best way to dispose of a body? Do the dead face a postmortem judgement—and where do they end up? Do the dead have bodies in the afterlife—and can they eat, drink, and have sex? And what can the living do to stay on good terms with the nonliving?
Filled with intriguing stories and frequent humor, What to Expect When You’re Dead will be a morbidly delicious treat for every reader alive.
Dr. Robert S.J. Garland is the Roy D. and Margaret B. Wooster Professor of the Classics at Colgate University. He earned his B.A. in Classics from Manchester University, his M.A. in Classics from McMaster University, and his Ph.D. in Ancient History from University College London.
A former Fulbright Scholar and recipient of the George Grote Ancient History Prize, Professor Garland has educated students and audiences at a variety of levels. In addition to teaching classics at Colgate University, he has taught English and Drama to secondary school students and lectured at universities throughout Britain as well as the British School of Archaeology in Athens.
Professor Garland is the author of numerous articles in both academic and popular journals and books capturing details of all aspects of ancient Greek and Roman life, including The Greek Way of Life: From Conception to Old Age; Introducing New Gods: The Politics of Athenian Religion; and Daily Life of the Ancient Greeks. His expertise has been featured in The History Channel's "Last Stand of the 300," and he has repeatedly served as a consultant for educational film companies.
think for the average Joe this reads as a history book (they would not be wrong) but for someone who works close to death, it is really informative and helpful in understanding the importance behind practices related to death and post-mortem procedures in different cultures (highly recommend it for those individuals) !
What awaits when it's time to pass on? Garland takes us on an odyssey through death and beyond in the imagination of the ancient world. From Mesopotamia to Rome to Israel, we learn the ins and outs of death rites, burials, funerals, the afterlife, and what all of these point to in terms of values across cultures and times.
I was engaged and laughed out loud several times. "The most serious threat facing the dead came from tomb robbers, aptly dubbed the first archaeologists," he writes. Garland also jokes ominously about his impending demise, and pulls out the rather hilarious hot takes on death by various figures throughout the ages (many from tombstones and their ilk). "If you want some good news about Hades," one reads, "the cost of living is very low." Garland is well-versed in ancient history and linguistics. I had no idea that "hell" simply meant "a concealed place (below)" rather than a place of neverending suffering for those who "deserve" it.
On that note, there are downsides (pun intended):
⚰️ Garland is rather ponderous, always asking questions? Like this? Or perhaps that?
⚰️ Garland is a product of his time and culture. He's an old white dude and writes that way. The most obvious point (which, to be fair, he does acknowledge) is his utterly Western knowledge base. There's almost nothing from "the East" and definitely nothing from Indigenous cultures. The world is binary (only men and women) and only lightly patriarchal. For example, Garland does note that Jannah is "primarily designed for men," assuming heterosexual men without saying so and hinting at racial bias, since the whiter and more Western varieties of the afterlife are equally male-dominant, which he fails to mention.
⚰️ Relatedly, I presume, is Garland's use of obscure language like "levity" and "recensions" and "apropos." I couldn't figure out why he defined some terms and yet leaned on this academese. Even as a native English reader, I had to open up the virtual dictionary several times.
Nonetheless, this is an enjoyable and rich descent into the last of all our days, and potentially into the great beyond, from perspectives you may not be familiar with.
Thank you to Edelweiss+ and Princeton University Press for the advance copy.
"What to Expect When You’re Dead" presents an intriguing premise, exploring death and afterlife beliefs from a wide range of ancient cultures, including those of the Mesopotamians, Egyptians, Hindus, Jews, Zoroastrians, Etruscans, Greeks, Romans, Early Christians, and Muslims. On paper, this concept sounds fascinating and full of potential.
However, in practice, the book attempts to cover so much ground that it ends up feeling scattered and superficial. Instead of offering meaningful comparisons or deeper insights, the narrative abruptly jumps from one culture to another, creating a sense of whiplash that makes it challenging to identify a cohesive thread.
I also found the writing style and structure challenging. The tone often resembles that of an academic trying to be accessible, but it doesn't quite succeed. As a result, I struggled to stay engaged and could only read the book in small bursts. It took me much longer than I expected to finish, which was disappointing since I genuinely enjoy most history books.
There are interesting moments throughout; many of the rituals, beliefs, and fears surrounding death feel surprisingly familiar, even though they originate from civilizations thousands of years old. Overall, while the concept is compelling, the execution falls short of its potential.
2⭐️ As a reader, I consider nonfiction to be one of the most difficult genres to write well. You have to strike a delicate balance between historian, sociologist, anthropologist, and story teller. Some authors walk this line incredibly well, Johann Hari comes to mind as a contemporary example. Occasionally, authors fall too far into sociologist/story-teller mode, leaving behind facts for the sake of a good narrative. However, more often I find authors fall too far into historian mode. Authors lay dry facts at the feet of the reader and expect them to gobble it up like mana from heaven. Garland’s style definitely tends toward the latter. While the concept is strong and intriguing, the execution doesn’t feel cohesive or like the opportunity for comparison was utilized adequately. In one notable break from historian-mode, Garland repeatedly cites the Bible and a variety of fiction works as primary historical sources for information relevant to many of the time periods discussed. HUH?! That’s not sound authorship to me. Sure, fiction often has some basis in contemporary reality, but it can never be used as a primary source of historical data.
When the Pope died in April 2025 and his body was put on display for members of the church and the public to pay their respects, I was reminded how jarring it is to today's sensibilities and thought it was a good time to listen to What to Expect When You're Dead - An Ancient Tour of Death and the Afterlife by Robert Garland.
Covering the time period in history 100,000 BC - 400 AD, this audiobook references ancient texts, artworks and archaeology at a level I was largely unfamiliar with. However I did enjoy some of the content, including this quote taken from Greek Playwright Aristophanes (446 BC - 386 BC):
"In Aristophanes Frogs, anyone who has harmed a guest, failed to pay a boy for his sexual favours, struck his mother, punched his father or sworn a false oath is consigned to a sewer full of turds." Chapter 5 Heaven and Hell
The beliefs of many ancient civilisations and religions were offered, in addition to their thoughts on the afterlife, how best to lay the dead to rest and how to honour their ancestors.
As a youngster I was interested in the history of Egypt, the pyramids and of course the discovery of Tutankhamun's tomb. I was simultaneously disturbed by the fact mummified remains were once desecrated by grave robbers and disturbed in the 'modern era' by archaeologists, with artefacts removed to be sold to private collectors or displayed in museums. It shouldn't come as a surprise then that I relished the legend of the curse of Tutankhamun and enjoyed hearing more about Egyptian curses here:
"Thieves certainly weren't deterred by the stiff penalties they incurred if apprehended, death by impaling being a common punishment. Nor by the curses that the deceased promised to rain down on those who broke into their tombs. A typical Egyptian curse reads as follows: As for anyone who shall violate my corpse in the necropolis or shall damage my image in my chamber, the ka (spirit or soul) of Ra (sun god) shall abhor him. He shall not bequeath his goods to his children nor shall he be restful in life, nor shall he receive water in the necropolis. His ba (personality and soul) shall be destroyed forever.'" Chapter 8, Where to Deposit the Remains
Scary stuff! The book includes beliefs and practices from a range of ancient cultures and traditions, including Early Christian, Egyptian, Etruscan, Greek, Hindu, Islamic, Jewish, Mesopotamian, Roman and Zoroastrian. I'll admit I was in very unfamiliar territory here, however this did help to clarify that my interest in death rituals is anchored in Western culture closer to my own time. I've shared my interest in the mourning etiquette of the Victorian era in other reviews and have the current books on my virtual TBR to read at some stage in the future:
Narrated by Zeb Soanes, What to Expect When You're Dead - An Ancient Tour of Death and the Afterlife by Robert Garland is recommended for dedicated non fiction readers with an interest in ancient history and ancient civilisations from 100,000 BC - 400 AD. I thought that was me but it turns out that it isn't.
Really interesting topic, but the execution left something to be desired.
It's not that it's badly written, in fact I mostly found it quite entertaining. That said, I did occasionally find the humorous tone of the book veering into condescending territory. Like, more than once it felt like the author's lack of belief in any kind of afterlife coloured his approach to the topic, to the point where it felt like he was scoffing at these ancient people living in a time before modern science for not having a scientific approach to what happens to us after death. I much prefer reading from authors approaching the ancient world with curiousity than with snarky superiority.
I also think this book suffered a bit from covering so many widely different cultures (Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Hindu, Jewish, Zoroastrian, Etruscan, Greek, Roman, Early Christian, and Islamic). While I think it's interesting in theory to get this breadth of different perspectives, in practice it leads to it feeling a little scattered and lacking in depth. It might have been a better book had it stuck to one or two, or stuck to the various cultures of a smaller geographic area.
Finally, and this might seem like a bit of nitpicking but it's just a personal pet peeve, but I'm going to have beef with anyone who peddles the idea that Egyptians left women to rot for a few days before mummifying them to prevent necrophilia. I can't tell you how sick I am of seeing this little "fun fact" pop up in every single "why women choose the bear" conversation ever.
This "fact" comes from Herodotus, a *Greek* writer known for sharing just as much unsubstantiated hearsay as actual historical fact. To the best of my knowledge, there are no Egyptian sources to corroborate it, nor any archaeological evidence to back it up. While it's true that mummies regularly show signs of decomposition from delayed embalming, this decay is equally evident in male and female corpses. Intentionally leaving a body to rot also kinda defeats the entire purpose of mummification. You know... actually preserving the body? So it won't decompose?
Ok, all that bitching aside, this wasn't a terrible book, and especially in the first half or so, I was having a fun time reading it. The unfortunate thing is that it's just not very memorable, and I can already feel my impression of this book slipping through my fingers.
What to Expect When You're Dead is a really fun book. From the different civilizations that are featured, each have different religious rites. Robert Garland brings fun facts, archaeological evidence, and references that have been given. Each chapter brings new and fun information, gives new looks at older finds, and shares a deeper look at many areas.
I really enjoyed this book, and could not put it down. While I missed reading the book before its publication date, I was able to get this on audiobook. Now I am going to have to get a physical copy, as there were areas that I want to go back and highlight for some future research of my own.
The areas surrounding Mesopotamia and Egypt were my favorite, as those two civilizations are among my top places to read and research.
For those that history lovers, this will be one of the top books that you will want to read. It will cause a book hangover, as you will not want to put it down.
A fun and funny bit of Eschatology of ancient civilizations, and a text that I think would be an especially good pick for those relatively new to ancient history.
If you are well-versed in ancient history you are likely already familiar with the bones of this book and the greater themes that appear in terms of how the ancients treated with death and death customs.
To that end I think this is primarily a read for those not super familiar with these pieces of history, though I still felt I got a lot of good anecdotal detail and some solid sociocontextual observations even as someone with a bit more background.
The tone and storytelling aspects of this are excellent, and Garland consistently brings the type of humor to his subject that is both rare and essential to public-facing academic work.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
The catchy title caught my eye. The book takes a look at various suppositions surrounding the mystery of the afterlife concept. What ideas about it have been told and shaped the myriads of potential convictions, doubts or dismissals of the hope or horror of on-going or eternal life? The author points out many religious ideas about what still can be considered popular, superstitious beliefs, in a dry, skeptical, and humorous tone. Of course they're easily ridiculed and the remote control of "tradition" very obvious. The author refrains from sharing any personal visions or near death experiences. On a practical note, the book also discusses funeral practices throughout history which I found more useful to learn about. I was unaware of aquacremation, considering it...
I love history (college history major here), and I love seeing how different religions have bits and pieces of the same beliefs and practices. I did not appreciate how condescending the author seems to be toward those who have religious beliefs (particularly Christianity since I myself am a Christian), but I tried to look past that and enjoy the learning instead. It was fascinating to learn about how ancient cultures approached death and what they believed happened afterward.
I picked it up out of curiosity, but I wasn’t expecting to feel so connected to the way ancient cultures approached death. The stories, rituals, and questions, like what happens after we die or how to treat the dead, felt surprisingly familiar, even though they come from thousands of years ago. Some parts jumped around a bit too quickly, but overall, it was a fascinating and thoughtful read.
This is a collection of ancient thoughts and beliefs about death, to include its aftermath, afterlife, and funerary practices. It is a bit dull, and it was disappointing to read the author's list of all the ancient civilizations he chose to not include in this work (such as Baha'i, Sikh, Buddhist, and Aztec), which would have given this work a more worldly view to comparisons and contrasts.
Felt like an academic trying to make their topic available to a non-specialist audience. Some of the abrupt leaps from Christianity to Egypt to Rome will give you whiplash. interesting and fantastic research, but one for people really into mythology and the ancient world, others should probably avoid
This is really dry and I am struggling to pay attention. I don’t think this author's writing style is for me because I just realized I DNF a book from him before.
A lot of information at once. I was hoping it would be separated by group but this outline makes sense, too. Recommended more for a history enthusiast than a general reader.
Pretty interesting. Drags at times and I just wish there was more information about more countries and practices around the world, majority of the focus was on Greece and Rome