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What's the Difference?: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible
The topic of manhood and womanhood is still strongly debated and still greatly impacts our society. For Christians, there is no doubt that the Bible must be the last word. But what does it teach about true manhood and womanhood? And how does its teachings affect our roles in the home, the church and the wider society? Noted pastor, author and Bible scholar John Piper looks at these important questions in a positive, sensitive light--with conclusions that encourage men and women to live out their unique differences in a fulfilling, godly way.
96 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
12 people are currently reading
817 people want to read
About the author
John Piper
609 books4,626 followersJohn Piper is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as senior pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
He grew up in Greenville, South Carolina, and studied at Wheaton College, Fuller Theological Seminary (B.D.), and the University of Munich (D.theol.). For six years, he taught Biblical Studies at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, and in 1980 accepted the call to serve as pastor at Bethlehem.
John is the author of more than 50 books and more than 30 years of his preaching and teaching is available free at desiringGod.org. John and his wife, Noel, have four sons, one daughter, and twelve grandchildren.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
He grew up in Greenville, South Carolina, and studied at Wheaton College, Fuller Theological Seminary (B.D.), and the University of Munich (D.theol.). For six years, he taught Biblical Studies at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, and in 1980 accepted the call to serve as pastor at Bethlehem.
John is the author of more than 50 books and more than 30 years of his preaching and teaching is available free at desiringGod.org. John and his wife, Noel, have four sons, one daughter, and twelve grandchildren.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
March 16, 2012
I read this book after Piper made comments about masculine Christianity. This book is a good example of the complementarity position. This particular expression of it focuses on gender differences that have large cultural components and argues that they are actually prescribed in Scripture (e.g., it is biblical that a man do the ordering in a restaurant {???}).
This book, for me, is also a god example of how an author can be extremely helpful in some ways (I really appreciated Desiring God), and not in others.
This book, for me, is also a god example of how an author can be extremely helpful in some ways (I really appreciated Desiring God), and not in others.
February 13, 2012
I'm still figuring out my stance on the complimentarian/egalitarian debate. Here, Piper links you to his other book, in which he lays out more systematically his Biblical backing for his (strong) complimentarian stance on male/female relations. I enjoyed his perspective, except for where it seemed that his own personal views crept in without Biblical backing. For example, I don't feel that my masculinity is threatened when my fiance drives instead of me.
January 8, 2026
Piper presents clear definitions of Biblical masculinity and femininity - and then breaks them down. Some of his positions touched a nerve, but I agreed with many statements too. Convicting and encouraging!
“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.”
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a women’s differing relationships.”
“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.”
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a women’s differing relationships.”
March 5, 2013
This was the first book of many I plan to read on differing views of biblical gender roles and the definition of masculinity and femininity. I had anticipated this being a good jumping on point because Piper is a noted theologian who always takes care to point back to Scripture in his reasoning (even if I disagree with his interpretation).
I was disappointed when I found that this book did not follow a similar pattern. Piper begins the book with a pre-designed definition of manhood and womanhood and uses the short space of this book to expound on the results of that definition. The definition is assumed to be correct, but never does he provide the biblical evidence for why he came to this definition. While it is obvious to a student of Scripture that Piper has Scripture in mind, his lack of sharing or exegeting is a major negative.
The other negative of this book is that Piper never addresses passages of Scripture or modern critiques that would seem (at the very least) to contradict his definitions. From my reading I would guess his definition is based upon two main passages: Genesis 2-3 and Ephesians 5. Never in this book does Piper address how to view passages about women prophets, Junia the apostle, etc. While I am confident that Piper would have an explanation, it is not in this book. This choice on his part damaged my trust in him (and I would probably tend to agree with him at this point).
Unless you are reading purely for confirmation of a view you already hold, I would not recommend this book. It does not serve as a good introduction to deeper study. It appears, rather, to be a sermon preached to the complementary choir, seeking nothing more than an "amen."
I was disappointed when I found that this book did not follow a similar pattern. Piper begins the book with a pre-designed definition of manhood and womanhood and uses the short space of this book to expound on the results of that definition. The definition is assumed to be correct, but never does he provide the biblical evidence for why he came to this definition. While it is obvious to a student of Scripture that Piper has Scripture in mind, his lack of sharing or exegeting is a major negative.
The other negative of this book is that Piper never addresses passages of Scripture or modern critiques that would seem (at the very least) to contradict his definitions. From my reading I would guess his definition is based upon two main passages: Genesis 2-3 and Ephesians 5. Never in this book does Piper address how to view passages about women prophets, Junia the apostle, etc. While I am confident that Piper would have an explanation, it is not in this book. This choice on his part damaged my trust in him (and I would probably tend to agree with him at this point).
Unless you are reading purely for confirmation of a view you already hold, I would not recommend this book. It does not serve as a good introduction to deeper study. It appears, rather, to be a sermon preached to the complementary choir, seeking nothing more than an "amen."
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April 26, 2021Honestly I don’t know what to rate this book. I get that John Piper here is trying to cast the vision for biblical masculinity and femininity and what that means for today. In other contexts I love John’s hermeneutic of seeking the fullest expressions of things instead of minimalist expressions. For instance, when talking on Hebrews 12, John talks about how we should not only ask, “is this activity sinful,” but, “is it weighing me down in my run?” The first question— is it sinful— is often seeking to do the minimal amount to live a godly life. The latter question seeks to do lead the fullest expression of a godly life.
So when he turns to masculinity and femininity, he isn’t answering what mere masculinity and mere femininity are, but to do so, he definitely goes out of the biblical text, adding things that he would consider weights to lead a fully masculine or fully feminine life.
I do really believe God leaves authority in place in the Bible because by it we get to practice things that otherwise would be impossible or largely impractical— like submission, deference, humility, etc.— and in the household codes of Ephesians and Colossians, Paul seems to draw parallels of hierarchy between parents and kids, slaves and masters, and wives and husbands. I don’t know what that means for complementarity today, but John’s casting of vision for it seemed too extreme. I don’t know if I’m any closer to finding what I think on this topic. Excited to read some egalitarian perspectives.
So when he turns to masculinity and femininity, he isn’t answering what mere masculinity and mere femininity are, but to do so, he definitely goes out of the biblical text, adding things that he would consider weights to lead a fully masculine or fully feminine life.
I do really believe God leaves authority in place in the Bible because by it we get to practice things that otherwise would be impossible or largely impractical— like submission, deference, humility, etc.— and in the household codes of Ephesians and Colossians, Paul seems to draw parallels of hierarchy between parents and kids, slaves and masters, and wives and husbands. I don’t know what that means for complementarity today, but John’s casting of vision for it seemed too extreme. I don’t know if I’m any closer to finding what I think on this topic. Excited to read some egalitarian perspectives.
June 28, 2023
never ending topic. a helpful take. not one i would agree with all the particulars but helpful to give thoughts to think through.
September 11, 2025
Another John Piper classic. I love how he breaks down what it looks like for men and women to walk with the Father in our differing roles as men and women…and then he shows us how they compliment one another in only a way the Creator could arrange…and then he points us all to action to serve the Father more intently. Every believer should read it.
September 11, 2018
A brief, but convicting, overview of the roles of men and women, their overlap, distinction and complimentary nature. A quick, non-exhaustive, read in which Piper defines that which is at the heart of manhood and womanhood according to the Bible (as the title conveys).
On a personal note, I must admit that many of the concepts that Piper discusses are counter-cultural, and initially, and in accordance with my sinful flesh, rubbed me the wrong way. However, upon biblical examination and further explanation of the complimentary nature of strengths and weakness in men and women, the way in which God designed the two genders is truly a blessing to be embraced.
On a personal note, I must admit that many of the concepts that Piper discusses are counter-cultural, and initially, and in accordance with my sinful flesh, rubbed me the wrong way. However, upon biblical examination and further explanation of the complimentary nature of strengths and weakness in men and women, the way in which God designed the two genders is truly a blessing to be embraced.
October 25, 2014
This booklet has a lot of really pithy points to make. It influenced my mother greatly as a young wife, and I appreciated reading a part of my "history" in that way. While this takes a bit more of a "mainstream" complementation view than I would take, this book made some really excellent points in a short space, and I appreciated it immensely.
June 1, 2011
This book is an excellent introduction to the biblical explanation and expectations of manhood and womanhood. It has definitely interested me in further readings on role differentiation. Definitely a book I would read with my guy before marriage - conversation starter on the fundamentals.
November 26, 2014
This is an excellent introduction to the subject of biblical masculinity and femininity, and has whet my appetite for lengthier, weightier treatments of this important and beautiful subject matter.
February 5, 2012
This small book was quite good, and very careful. Appreciated it.
July 3, 2019
A very helpful booklet, especially needed today. Piper addresses the difference between man and woman, and as he does so, he’s biblical and specific where needed, but also carefully generally. You can tell he (and others he’s working with) have thought a lot about it, and especially when he defines biblical manhood and womanhood, each and every word is carefully chosen.
This topic has been particularly relevant in the last few decades—and one might argue even moreso today. So if someone is confused or wants to read a succinct view of the biblical position, look no further than this booklet. I’ll be returning to it over and over.
This topic has been particularly relevant in the last few decades—and one might argue even moreso today. So if someone is confused or wants to read a succinct view of the biblical position, look no further than this booklet. I’ll be returning to it over and over.
August 7, 2023
Every student, every young wife and husband, every single person, every single parent, every leader and every new christian will benefit from this book!
It is a brief and convincing read. Carefully written, this little book inspires to live out the beauty of God given genders. Author is careful not to make obligations that are not in the Bible, but gives biblical principles, definitions and guidelines for femininity and masculinity. The note section is worth reading, too.
It is a brief and convincing read. Carefully written, this little book inspires to live out the beauty of God given genders. Author is careful not to make obligations that are not in the Bible, but gives biblical principles, definitions and guidelines for femininity and masculinity. The note section is worth reading, too.
September 13, 2025
I was a little hesitant when I first started this book, because there have been a couple things that Piper has said in articles that I didn’t 100% agree with him about in this area in particular. But I feel like in this book he was very careful with his words and stuck to biblical principles while at the same time acknowledging there are a variety of cultures and situations where this may look different and yet still be consistent with biblical masculinity and femininity.
June 24, 2023
In an age of confusion, distortion and hyper practice of roles I found this short read very good and helpful.
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March 20, 2023생각이 많아진다... 뭐가 맞는건지는 알겠는데, 이 세상도 우리들도 그 모습에서 너무 멀어져있다. 그게 꼭 한 사람 한 사람의 잘못된 결정과 생각이 아니라, 너무 오랫동안 잘못된 worldview로 굳어지고 distort 되어버렸기 때문에 어디에서부터 시작해야하는지도 모르겠다. 문제가 너무 크게 느껴질 땐, 나부터 하나씩 차근차근. 나와 내 남편부터 천천히.
June 20, 2017
The author John Piper is one of the editors along with Wayne Grudem of the massive Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. In fact this present book was originally written as a chapter for the larger work and while Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. While that work is more detailed in providing exegetical support and the reasons for why Piper and company takes the position they take yet Piper published What’s the Difference? as a stand-alone book is to present “a Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood as clearly and concisely as possible, and to leave the comprehensive technical discussion for other publications” (14). Piper also wrote in chapter one that he wanted to have What’s the Difference? as a “portrayal of the vision that satisfies the head as well as the heart” (16). In other words Piper’s second purpose is his desire to show how a biblical view of manhood and womanhood is “deeply satisfying gift of grace from a loving God” (16).
I appreciated Piper working towards a biblical definition concerning the discussion of manhood and womanhood. Manhood and womanhood is one of those things that we feel that we know or take for granted but might be hard for us to define when we think of it consciously. I appreciated that Piper offers definitions of manhood and womanhood by the end of chapter one of the book and was nuanced to note the difficulties and challenges along with how easily his definition could be read in the most uncharitable light (I might that’s true of anyone’s attempt at a definition). With the definition of manhood and womanhood stated in the end of chapter one Piper then explains each part of his definition in chapter two and three on what is masculinity and feminity respectively. I also appreciated Piper’s definition of biblical headship and biblical submission in terms of the roles of husband and wife. As Piper defined it, “Biblical headship for the husband is the divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant-leadership, protection and provision in the home” (66). Piper defined biblical submission for the wife as “the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts” (66).
I know the topic of a Biblical view of manhood and womanhood is controversial and goes contrary to what some within even Evangelical churches want to hear let alone what the greater culture in the West thinks about gender roles. Piper explains it rather graciously and clearly. I must add that this work should be seen as the first stop on the issue and not the last word for those who might find it disagreeable. But I do think Christians would find it edifying. I particularly enjoyed Piper’s discussion of the nine point of male leadership for its nuance and consideration and care for woman, the family and also for other men. In essence biblical leadership is servant leadership and not tyranny.
I appreciated Piper working towards a biblical definition concerning the discussion of manhood and womanhood. Manhood and womanhood is one of those things that we feel that we know or take for granted but might be hard for us to define when we think of it consciously. I appreciated that Piper offers definitions of manhood and womanhood by the end of chapter one of the book and was nuanced to note the difficulties and challenges along with how easily his definition could be read in the most uncharitable light (I might that’s true of anyone’s attempt at a definition). With the definition of manhood and womanhood stated in the end of chapter one Piper then explains each part of his definition in chapter two and three on what is masculinity and feminity respectively. I also appreciated Piper’s definition of biblical headship and biblical submission in terms of the roles of husband and wife. As Piper defined it, “Biblical headship for the husband is the divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant-leadership, protection and provision in the home” (66). Piper defined biblical submission for the wife as “the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts” (66).
I know the topic of a Biblical view of manhood and womanhood is controversial and goes contrary to what some within even Evangelical churches want to hear let alone what the greater culture in the West thinks about gender roles. Piper explains it rather graciously and clearly. I must add that this work should be seen as the first stop on the issue and not the last word for those who might find it disagreeable. But I do think Christians would find it edifying. I particularly enjoyed Piper’s discussion of the nine point of male leadership for its nuance and consideration and care for woman, the family and also for other men. In essence biblical leadership is servant leadership and not tyranny.
December 3, 2013
A brief explanation of the complementation view of gender roles, focusing mostly on practical implications. In brief, men and woman are equal under God and have distinct and complementary roles. The man's role is to "lead, provide for and protect", the women's role to intelligently, creatively and co-operatively submit to this leadership. Piper does a pretty good job of anticipating various imbalances and guarding against them, which makes for a balanced, careful presentation, while also celebrating the goodness of God's plan in this area. However, given how counter-cultural this view is, this book is probably not thorough enough to address the arguments of someone who disagrees. Helpful for anyone who broadly already holds this view and would like to give it a little more thought, or anyone who wants an introduction to the topic. Doesn't contain detailed biblical exegesis, which is found in the much larger Biblical manhood & womanhood book by Piper & Wayne Grudem.
August 1, 2016
Piper gives a definition of Masculinity and of Femininity, then in subsequent chapters fleshes out these definitions. He concludes by giving a list of things that each sex can focus on in order to further God's kingdom.
There was Biblical support in this, but not as much as I feel there should be. Piper makes some good points (Women's submission to Men doesn't mean a slavery style submission, etc.). He also challenges both men and women to seek for ways to glorify God. Piper is continually coming around to that. Everything he says is subject to situation, and primarily to if it is going to reflect our Lord well to others.
Overall it felt like a pretty basic definition on either side. I was definitely glad that he made some distinctions about how womanhood isn't weak or pathetic, etc., but sin can corrupt it to be that.
There was Biblical support in this, but not as much as I feel there should be. Piper makes some good points (Women's submission to Men doesn't mean a slavery style submission, etc.). He also challenges both men and women to seek for ways to glorify God. Piper is continually coming around to that. Everything he says is subject to situation, and primarily to if it is going to reflect our Lord well to others.
Overall it felt like a pretty basic definition on either side. I was definitely glad that he made some distinctions about how womanhood isn't weak or pathetic, etc., but sin can corrupt it to be that.
November 22, 2012
This is a short essay that many could read in a day or two and get a quick overview/teaching on gender issues. In "What's the Difference?" Piper gives brief outlines of what Biblical masculinity and feminity. Being a short essay, the writer does not deal with these issues in depth. This is a great starter book for those who wish to begin the journey concerning these topics, but if you really want to explore these issues in depth, read Piper and Grudem's "Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood" which they co-wrote; it is a much larger work, and goes much more in depth.
Overall, for this essay type work, I thought Piper did a great job teaching on these issues and keeping it readable for the average Joe.
- Curtis
Overall, for this essay type work, I thought Piper did a great job teaching on these issues and keeping it readable for the average Joe.
- Curtis
December 12, 2016
Piper addresses this topic with sensitivity, and I appreciate that his main goal is to define manhood and womanhood from the bible rather than his own (or any other) cultural expectations. What I did find difficult about these definitions is their relationship to the opposite sex. While Piper does explicitly state that you don't have to actually be around the opposite sex for these prevailing attitudes to be in place, I was not convinced of the idea that the heart of masculinity and femininity are defined by the other. However, it was a short book and I have difficulty interpreting these passages of scripture to draw my own conclusion, so further reading is necessary.
*I read this as part of my 2016 Reading Challenge for the category "A book with 100 pages or less"
*I read this as part of my 2016 Reading Challenge for the category "A book with 100 pages or less"
May 18, 2012
I'm not 100%sure what I think on this whole issue yet, but this is definitly the best book, article of blogpost I've read on this topic. the author didn't make an wild claims or speculations, and restricte himself to explaining the principles behind his beliefs in a clear and conscice manner. My only obvious objection or rather, complaint, is that although the author states at the begining that he will not include all the scriptual basis for his arguments....I want him too! I mean, at least he acknowledged that he didn't (many people won't even do that) but I really can't think what could be more important than explaining how he drew his conclusions!
July 27, 2012
This is a hard book to review because it's just an introduction, so you can easily finish it in a day or two. Basically it is an overview of the authors beliefs on biblical manhood and womanhood with some supporting scriptures. This little book is not a Bible study so it would not make sense to review it like one. I would suggest reading the introduction if you want to get a summary of what the full version is about (note: I have not read the full version so I cannot say for sure what the content includes). I can't say 'I recommend this book' nor can I say 'I don't recommend this book' until I've read the full version.
September 14, 2012
A bit over my head at times (but that's been my experience with John Piper) and I was a bit sad that the chapter on Femininity was much shorter than the chapter on Masculinity...but overall, such a worthwhile read. Basic questions about the God-given differences between men and women are answered here (to the best of Piper's ability) with lots of Scriptural support. I didn't understand or agree with every point in the book, however, I did enjoy the process. Many of his statements had me stopping & thinking, hard. And that's what a good book is supposed to do.
December 16, 2015
This short, essay-like book on the primary differences between manhood and womanhood has reinforced and enlightened my views on being a man vs woman and the joy that is found in a complementary relationship between the two. Technical details and answers will not be found in this book, but rather the heart of deeply confusing topic in today's secular age is uncovered with the utmost biblical intent in mind. This book made me better appreciate my roles, strengths and weaknesses as a man because of how it complements the woman's.
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May 10, 2016 "At the heart of mature masculinity is the benevolent responsibility to lead,provide and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm,receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships."
A call to the biblical mandate and definition of roles in regard to man and woman relationships. A voice of reason in our day and age where confusion and contrary views abound.
At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm,receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships."
A call to the biblical mandate and definition of roles in regard to man and woman relationships. A voice of reason in our day and age where confusion and contrary views abound.
April 20, 2012
this one was a bit frustrating for me. As it mentioned at the beginning of the book, it is ore of an application without the Biblical backing, which apparently is more fleshed out in another book. Unfortunately, I was looking for the Biblical justification for statements seeing as nowadays its quite common for people to express their opinions rather loudly and dogmatically without much to back it up. So all in all, I think with this one, I was listening to the wrong book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews