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Maybe This Will Save Me: A Memoir of Art, Addiction and Transformation
From filmmaker, writer, producer and actor Tommy Dorfman—currently starring in Broadway's Romeo + Juliet—comes a beautifully written, bracingly original memoir, structured through the profound revelations of a single tarot card reading, chronicling her troubled teen years, the highs and lows of her creative career, and her journey to self-acceptance
On a hot summer day, twenty-eight-year-old Tommy Dorfman was enjoying a beautiful outing on a boat. But inside she felt unmoored. After a lifetime of confusion, she’d finally gained clarity around her gender and had begun to transition. But there were still parts of herself she’d locked away, elements of her story that she needed, for the first time, to fully confront. She sought guidance in a tarot deck, using it as a tool to make sense of her life up until that point.
Maybe This Will Save Me, Dorfman’s spellbinding debut memoir, is structured through the cards of that tarot pull. The youngest of five children, she grappled with her own identity from an early age and spent her teenage years numbed by drugs and alcohol. At the same time, she harbored dreams of creative stardom and a desire to make herself seen. But the path, at times, had felt impossible.
Charting her early struggles in theater, her rise to fame in 13 Reasons Why, her hard-fought journey to sobriety, and the relationships that shaped her, Dorfman’s luminously written, bracingly honest memoir reintroduces us to a writer who stands alongside Michelle Zauner, Jennette McCurdy, and Maggie Nelson in her visionary scope and craft.
On a hot summer day, twenty-eight-year-old Tommy Dorfman was enjoying a beautiful outing on a boat. But inside she felt unmoored. After a lifetime of confusion, she’d finally gained clarity around her gender and had begun to transition. But there were still parts of herself she’d locked away, elements of her story that she needed, for the first time, to fully confront. She sought guidance in a tarot deck, using it as a tool to make sense of her life up until that point.
Maybe This Will Save Me, Dorfman’s spellbinding debut memoir, is structured through the cards of that tarot pull. The youngest of five children, she grappled with her own identity from an early age and spent her teenage years numbed by drugs and alcohol. At the same time, she harbored dreams of creative stardom and a desire to make herself seen. But the path, at times, had felt impossible.
Charting her early struggles in theater, her rise to fame in 13 Reasons Why, her hard-fought journey to sobriety, and the relationships that shaped her, Dorfman’s luminously written, bracingly honest memoir reintroduces us to a writer who stands alongside Michelle Zauner, Jennette McCurdy, and Maggie Nelson in her visionary scope and craft.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published May 28, 2025
38 people are currently reading
4174 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
September 9, 2025
‘The presence of courage doesn’t mean the absence of other complex emotions.’
An honest, self-aware, sometimes wild memoir from filmmaker, writer, producer and actor Tommy Dorfman. As I was reading this, there were so many times that I wanted to reach out and hug Tommy, especially with the complicated teenage years. - ‘when I was a teenager when I didn’t know better, didn’t know about trauma or consent, just knew how to keep going so as not to feel a damn thing.’
I enjoyed the structure of this memoir, through the guidance and revelations of a deck of tarot cards to dissect her past experiences - detailing the hard-fought journey to sobriety, relationships that shaped her, rise to fame in 13 reasons why, highs and lows of a creative career, and the journey towards self-acceptance.
‘I was so wrapped up in trying to prove that I was grown, that I neglected to do, you know, the actual growing.’
As the youngest of five children, Tommy also shared some of the early identity-shaping experiences ‘the legacy of one’s parents casts a long shadow’ amongst interesting musings on her present and hopes for her future.
An honest, self-aware, sometimes wild memoir from filmmaker, writer, producer and actor Tommy Dorfman. As I was reading this, there were so many times that I wanted to reach out and hug Tommy, especially with the complicated teenage years. - ‘when I was a teenager when I didn’t know better, didn’t know about trauma or consent, just knew how to keep going so as not to feel a damn thing.’
I enjoyed the structure of this memoir, through the guidance and revelations of a deck of tarot cards to dissect her past experiences - detailing the hard-fought journey to sobriety, relationships that shaped her, rise to fame in 13 reasons why, highs and lows of a creative career, and the journey towards self-acceptance.
‘I was so wrapped up in trying to prove that I was grown, that I neglected to do, you know, the actual growing.’
As the youngest of five children, Tommy also shared some of the early identity-shaping experiences ‘the legacy of one’s parents casts a long shadow’ amongst interesting musings on her present and hopes for her future.
June 5, 2025
This broke my heart for baby Tommy 💔
Proud of her for sharing her story.
Thank you NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the ARC.
Proud of her for sharing her story.
Thank you NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the ARC.
July 23, 2025
Tommy Dorfman's memoirs, structured as a tarot reading, is some of the smartest, most honest writing I've had the fortune to come across in years.
As a trans woman working on four months of sobriety, Tommy's story feels so familiar, and relatable. It's about always feeling off, coming into and owning your power. It is SO well done and I cannot wait to read it again and again
As a trans woman working on four months of sobriety, Tommy's story feels so familiar, and relatable. It's about always feeling off, coming into and owning your power. It is SO well done and I cannot wait to read it again and again
did-not-finish
August 17, 2025DNF @ p33 (no rating)
Something about this one is keeping me from connecting. The style is so succinct and the story so personal, it feels somewhat incongruous. The pacing is hectic and the narrative jumps through time without transition, so it's hard to follow the action. My last read gave me a real hangover, also, so that could be part of it.
Thank you to the author Tommy Dorfman, Hanover Square Press, and NetGalley for an advance digital copy of MAYBE THIS WILL SAVE ME. I found an accessible digital copy on Libby. All views are mine.
Something about this one is keeping me from connecting. The style is so succinct and the story so personal, it feels somewhat incongruous. The pacing is hectic and the narrative jumps through time without transition, so it's hard to follow the action. My last read gave me a real hangover, also, so that could be part of it.
Thank you to the author Tommy Dorfman, Hanover Square Press, and NetGalley for an advance digital copy of MAYBE THIS WILL SAVE ME. I found an accessible digital copy on Libby. All views are mine.
June 8, 2025
Actress and filmmaker Tommy Dorfman shares her story of growing up, battling addiction, sobering up and getting into the acting industry.
I decided to pick this up because it applied to a Goodreads reading challenge. I probably would not have picked it up otherwise, but the elevator pitch got me interested. I did not know who Tommy Dorfman was, so it was interesting going in blind.
While the content of the story itself is not bad, I don't think the book was put together well. It felt like a very scatterbrained back and forth jumping between different points in time. I wouldn't mind that if it was more of a themed order of events. It seemed like Dorfman kind of had the idea to do this with the tarot pulls throughout the book, but many times it did not seem that the stories really tied back to them. It felt like a bunch of stories and journal entries got pieced together, without much planning.
The book felt like it was trying to say something, but for me it just kind of fell flat. Dorfman writes about her transformation and maturing into adulthood, while figuring out gender ideality and sexuality, but there doesn't seem to be a clear turning point or moment where it is obvious a change has been made, at least in my opinion. Dorfman does admit she has problems, but I personally think it takes more than just admitting it to grow.
Now on a personal note, I struggled to get into Dorfman's story, because I don't think she is a person I would like in real life. I don't think we'd be friends if we knew each other, and I often felt annoyed while reading the book. So take all this with a grain of salt.
Overall I don't think the story itself was bad, but it could have been put together a lot better. It's a little more than 250 pages and I think it would have been better if it was cut down to about 150-175, and took more care in actually piecing the events together, whether chronologically or to certain themes.
I decided to pick this up because it applied to a Goodreads reading challenge. I probably would not have picked it up otherwise, but the elevator pitch got me interested. I did not know who Tommy Dorfman was, so it was interesting going in blind.
While the content of the story itself is not bad, I don't think the book was put together well. It felt like a very scatterbrained back and forth jumping between different points in time. I wouldn't mind that if it was more of a themed order of events. It seemed like Dorfman kind of had the idea to do this with the tarot pulls throughout the book, but many times it did not seem that the stories really tied back to them. It felt like a bunch of stories and journal entries got pieced together, without much planning.
The book felt like it was trying to say something, but for me it just kind of fell flat. Dorfman writes about her transformation and maturing into adulthood, while figuring out gender ideality and sexuality, but there doesn't seem to be a clear turning point or moment where it is obvious a change has been made, at least in my opinion. Dorfman does admit she has problems, but I personally think it takes more than just admitting it to grow.
Now on a personal note, I struggled to get into Dorfman's story, because I don't think she is a person I would like in real life. I don't think we'd be friends if we knew each other, and I often felt annoyed while reading the book. So take all this with a grain of salt.
Overall I don't think the story itself was bad, but it could have been put together a lot better. It's a little more than 250 pages and I think it would have been better if it was cut down to about 150-175, and took more care in actually piecing the events together, whether chronologically or to certain themes.
Read
July 29, 2025When I read the line “witchy slay” I could not continue.
December 19, 2025
DNF @ 30%. There's a good book in here - the author has a clear voice and her stories about herself are captivating, AND love the title - but I quickly got annoyed at how the narrative is put together. The tarot reading bit feels schtick-y, and I care for the retelling of her parent's courtship about as much as hearing about other people's dreams.
Read
May 1, 2025LGBTQ+, Biographies & Autobiographies of Women, Entertainment & Performing Arts, Personal Memoirs
February 3, 2025
I love Tommy and really enjoyed getting to know about her - from her directly. I thought using Tarot cards as the mechanism she used to bring us along through her life was really fitting. I did feel some sections were a bit disjointed and the non-linear timeline of the storytelling sometimes made things feel repetitive but Tommy's personality, voice, and story shone throughout. TY to NG
June 20, 2025
I have been following Tommy for a long time, she is someone I consider a comfort celebrity even though I haven’t really consumed any non-social media content of hers since 13rw (and R+J which I saw last November). This was a beautiful memoir that was meant to be listened to. I couldn’t put it down. The brutal honesty and humor is something I truly appreciated.
July 11, 2025
“Nobody is ever all brave; nobody is ever all bad; nobody is ever all anything, but we all are capable of being everything.”
Tommy’s journey through womanhood, love, and addiction is shared so beautifully, so raw, I found the lessons she learned applicable to my own life despite us having such different paths. Her tone as an author is so realistic, yet so dreamy. She never shied away from the dark parts of her story and owned it all in a refreshingly honest manner. Simultaneously, her descriptions of the joy she feels when affirmed, as she becomes who she has always been, is so beautiful to witness.
Life is turbulent and frankly, yes, it has to do with the (tarot) cards you’re dealt, but even the luckiest of us can do the work and learn to own our mistakes, work through our grief, our traumas, give ourselves grace, forgiveness, love - that is what it means to become.
“I am becoming the person I was always meant to be. Everything is different in ways I never imagined it could be. And it’s not because I discovered ‘truth’. No, it’s simply because I’m living my life. Day by day. Moment by moment.”
Tommy’s journey through womanhood, love, and addiction is shared so beautifully, so raw, I found the lessons she learned applicable to my own life despite us having such different paths. Her tone as an author is so realistic, yet so dreamy. She never shied away from the dark parts of her story and owned it all in a refreshingly honest manner. Simultaneously, her descriptions of the joy she feels when affirmed, as she becomes who she has always been, is so beautiful to witness.
Life is turbulent and frankly, yes, it has to do with the (tarot) cards you’re dealt, but even the luckiest of us can do the work and learn to own our mistakes, work through our grief, our traumas, give ourselves grace, forgiveness, love - that is what it means to become.
“I am becoming the person I was always meant to be. Everything is different in ways I never imagined it could be. And it’s not because I discovered ‘truth’. No, it’s simply because I’m living my life. Day by day. Moment by moment.”
May 28, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The strength and bravery it takes to open up and lay yourself bare on paper for everyone to read is empowering and inspiring. I appreciate how candid Tommy is throughout the entirety of the book. You can see her growth. This book is also narrated by Tommy. I loved the audio. It’s very rare that I will read memoirs or Non fiction in general but I found that this one was very inspiring.
The strength and bravery it takes to open up and lay yourself bare on paper for everyone to read is empowering and inspiring. I appreciate how candid Tommy is throughout the entirety of the book. You can see her growth. This book is also narrated by Tommy. I loved the audio. It’s very rare that I will read memoirs or Non fiction in general but I found that this one was very inspiring.
November 1, 2025
3.75! unflinchingly honest, real and self-aware. loved the idea of structuring around tarot card pulls but I think at times it felt a little jumpy and too non-linear for me. tommy dorfman’s journeys through both transitioning and sobriety are so beautiful and valuable for her to have put out into the world. I wanted even more on those topics!
June 6, 2025
This is a stunning trans memoir!! I binged most of it earlier today bc I didn’t want to put it down. “Maybe This Will Save Me,” is insightful, inspiring, & highly captivating. Tommy narrates the audiobook & does a spectacular job. I highly recommend adding this to your TBR.
July 24, 2025
2.5 ⭐️
I’m sorry to say I STRUGGLED through this book. I get the vision but it felt very disjunctive
I’m sorry to say I STRUGGLED through this book. I get the vision but it felt very disjunctive
October 8, 2025
a lovely memoir. more trans stories, please.
October 26, 2025
Fun read. I actually learned quite a bit about the transition process, even though that wasn't necessarily the point. I liked the way she organized the book around tarot cards.
July 8, 2025
I liked it. Good insights into the trials and tribulations of being a trans woman in the public eye in America. A very unusual childhood (this is pre transition) by the sounds of things.
May 27, 2025
Huge thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an e-Arc in exchange for an honest review!
“I’ve always been a loud-ass bitch.”
“Why should I have to change how I exist for other people’s comfort?”
This is a very raw, real story that is undoubtably hard to read at times. Tommy Dorfman is an excellent writer, cutting hard moments with humor and gorgeous turns of phrase.
I really loved the inclusion about how her parents met and Uncle Tommy, these stories were such great reads and so heartfelt.
It was deeply moving reading about Tommy’s journey into becoming the person she was meant to be and how it didn’t look like what she really expected it to be.
At times it was hard to tell the linear-ness of the story which made it sort of hard to tell where the reader was in the timeline of events. But at the same time I love how the story is told through a tarot card pull and the stories each card illicit.
“I’ve always been a loud-ass bitch.”
“Why should I have to change how I exist for other people’s comfort?”
This is a very raw, real story that is undoubtably hard to read at times. Tommy Dorfman is an excellent writer, cutting hard moments with humor and gorgeous turns of phrase.
I really loved the inclusion about how her parents met and Uncle Tommy, these stories were such great reads and so heartfelt.
It was deeply moving reading about Tommy’s journey into becoming the person she was meant to be and how it didn’t look like what she really expected it to be.
At times it was hard to tell the linear-ness of the story which made it sort of hard to tell where the reader was in the timeline of events. But at the same time I love how the story is told through a tarot card pull and the stories each card illicit.
June 12, 2025
Trigger warning and maybe spoilers ahead?
I really think this book just glossed over some really bad parenting, an older brother who stepped into the roll of protector because parents weren’t around, very illegal sex and lots and lots and lots of drug and alcohol abuse. WHERE ARE THE ADULTS?! Why was all of this going unchecked?!
I really think this book just glossed over some really bad parenting, an older brother who stepped into the roll of protector because parents weren’t around, very illegal sex and lots and lots and lots of drug and alcohol abuse. WHERE ARE THE ADULTS?! Why was all of this going unchecked?!
June 6, 2025
Listening to Maybe This Will Save Me was a deeply engaging and emotional experience. From the moment Tommy Dorfman began narrating, I was hooked. Her voice is magnetic, raw, and vulnerable. There's something uniquely powerful about hearing a memoir in the author's voice, and Tommy's narration elevated the story in a way no one else could. She doesn't just read her life, she relives it with you. Her pacing was natural, the tone shifted appropriately between heavy and humorous moments, and her delivery felt like a late-night conversation with a close friend. The flow of the audiobook was seamless, and I never felt lost, even when the structure moved through different time periods or topics, thanks to her clear and emotionally anchored transitions. There were no sound effects or added production elements, but Tommy's presence alone was more than enough.
As for the memoir itself, it's an honest, unfiltered glimpse into identity, addiction, fame, creativity, and queerness, all told through the lens of a single tarot card reading. The structure is clever and original, and while some parts felt more developed than others, I appreciated the balance between confession and restraint. Dorfman doesn't spill every detail, and I admit I wished she went a little deeper in certain chapters. But as she herself might say, she doesn't owe us everything, and maybe I'm being selfish by wanting more. Still, the vulnerability she does share is powerful and impactful, and I walked away with a greater sense of empathy and understanding. As someone who has always felt confident in who I am and who I love, I'm grateful for memoirs like this—they help me better show up for the people in my life whose journeys have been more winding.
I've been following Tommy since 13 Reasons Why (which, as a high school English teacher, was a major talking point with my students at the time), and more recently, I was lucky enough to see her on stage in Romeo + Juliet, where she absolutely stole the show as Mercutio. Her creative voice is distinct, and this memoir feels like an extension of her artistry: a thoughtful, sometimes brash, often beautiful reflection on becoming. I gave it 4 stars because while I was captivated from beginning to end, I wanted just a bit more depth and introspection in a few areas.
I'd recommend this audiobook to anyone who enjoys memoirs by bold, introspective artists like Jennette McCurdy (I'm Glad My Mom Died) or Michelle Zauner (Crying in H Mart). It's especially powerful for readers curious about queer identity, life in the entertainment industry, and the messy, nonlinear process of self-discovery. Just a heads-up: this book can get pretty explicit at times, and it does touch on heavy themes, so definitely check the trigger warnings before diving in.
I highly recommend Maybe This Will Save Me specifically in audiobook form. Tommy's narration makes this story feel intimate and immediate. It's one of those books where the audio experience truly adds something extra.
As for the memoir itself, it's an honest, unfiltered glimpse into identity, addiction, fame, creativity, and queerness, all told through the lens of a single tarot card reading. The structure is clever and original, and while some parts felt more developed than others, I appreciated the balance between confession and restraint. Dorfman doesn't spill every detail, and I admit I wished she went a little deeper in certain chapters. But as she herself might say, she doesn't owe us everything, and maybe I'm being selfish by wanting more. Still, the vulnerability she does share is powerful and impactful, and I walked away with a greater sense of empathy and understanding. As someone who has always felt confident in who I am and who I love, I'm grateful for memoirs like this—they help me better show up for the people in my life whose journeys have been more winding.
I've been following Tommy since 13 Reasons Why (which, as a high school English teacher, was a major talking point with my students at the time), and more recently, I was lucky enough to see her on stage in Romeo + Juliet, where she absolutely stole the show as Mercutio. Her creative voice is distinct, and this memoir feels like an extension of her artistry: a thoughtful, sometimes brash, often beautiful reflection on becoming. I gave it 4 stars because while I was captivated from beginning to end, I wanted just a bit more depth and introspection in a few areas.
I'd recommend this audiobook to anyone who enjoys memoirs by bold, introspective artists like Jennette McCurdy (I'm Glad My Mom Died) or Michelle Zauner (Crying in H Mart). It's especially powerful for readers curious about queer identity, life in the entertainment industry, and the messy, nonlinear process of self-discovery. Just a heads-up: this book can get pretty explicit at times, and it does touch on heavy themes, so definitely check the trigger warnings before diving in.
I highly recommend Maybe This Will Save Me specifically in audiobook form. Tommy's narration makes this story feel intimate and immediate. It's one of those books where the audio experience truly adds something extra.
June 22, 2025
This book details the journey of Tommy Dorfman's life in healing and embracing her true self as a transgender icon in today's society. When I began this book, I knew of Tommy and had seen her in Romeo + Juliet in NYC last fall. I had been looking forward to reading her book and to learn from her journey. What I did not expect was her desire to reach deeper within herself to understand her inner self, the emphasis on tarot she weaves throughout the novel, and the journey of healing being chaotic, sometimes messy, and in no way linear.
When you read this novel, you have to understand the depth Tommy writes with such grace that I as a reader had to unpack. Her healing and her life story is not in isolation nor alone -- she utilizes her entire family, every person she encounters, and every difficult moment to tell her story.
To understand and to grow in a time where transgender rights are under attack and to continuously know that you yourself were born into the wrong body is a lenses Tommy speaks through with every word she writes. As a queer individual, I could resonate and grieve with her for future that is wholly LGBTQIA+ friendly and loving. Yet, this novel really showed me as a queer person that there is love and joy in this world for LGBTQIA+ persons and individuals.
I would like to note that this novel does dive into addiction and healing through addiction. While these parts are difficult to read, they are worthy of a place in Tommy's life. Those moments were shown as weaknesses to overcome to become the beautiful human she is today.
As I said before, Tommy embraces healing without a linear mindset. Tommy allows the reader to breath into the nature that your healing journey may have setbacks and difficulties but it is still your healing! This book is one I have re-read a few times and I have loved every re-read.
A special thank you to Tommy Dorfman, Harlequin Audio, and Netgalley for the audio ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. If you can listen to the audiobook, it is a must!! Tommy narrates the book and brings power and light to her story!
When you read this novel, you have to understand the depth Tommy writes with such grace that I as a reader had to unpack. Her healing and her life story is not in isolation nor alone -- she utilizes her entire family, every person she encounters, and every difficult moment to tell her story.
To understand and to grow in a time where transgender rights are under attack and to continuously know that you yourself were born into the wrong body is a lenses Tommy speaks through with every word she writes. As a queer individual, I could resonate and grieve with her for future that is wholly LGBTQIA+ friendly and loving. Yet, this novel really showed me as a queer person that there is love and joy in this world for LGBTQIA+ persons and individuals.
I would like to note that this novel does dive into addiction and healing through addiction. While these parts are difficult to read, they are worthy of a place in Tommy's life. Those moments were shown as weaknesses to overcome to become the beautiful human she is today.
As I said before, Tommy embraces healing without a linear mindset. Tommy allows the reader to breath into the nature that your healing journey may have setbacks and difficulties but it is still your healing! This book is one I have re-read a few times and I have loved every re-read.
A special thank you to Tommy Dorfman, Harlequin Audio, and Netgalley for the audio ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. If you can listen to the audiobook, it is a must!! Tommy narrates the book and brings power and light to her story!
July 3, 2025
I’ve followed Tommy since 13 Reasons Why and have really enjoyed seeing her blossom into the woman she is today. When I heard she wrote a book, I knew I had to pick it up.
After the first few chapters, I really enjoyed the format of the book is divided up by Tarot cards. I don’t know much of anything about Tarot, but it definitely worked in terms of giving the book flow.
Tommy’s life story is heartbreaking a lot of the time, but I respect how raw she was in telling her story. There are a lot of blunt moments, going into detail of queer sexual experiences, a lot of which were traumatizing and invasive, but some that were beautiful and warm. In memoirs especially, I haven’t really read a book that goes into such detail on the queer sexual experience, so for that, I really do admire Tommy for opening up so publicly within the pages of this book.
I did get confused at times when Tommy jumped around timelines, but I would say I was still able to follow through most of the book.
I love how descriptive Tommy is. It is a true testament of the artist she is. I feel like a lot of celebrities who write memoirs try to over-do the descriptiveness of things, almost like they do it just because they think they have to since they’re writing a book. Tommy did not describe things in this capacity, everything was beautifully written and felt natural.
There was definitely some moments where I cringed at Tommy’s privilege, but she does forwardly admit this throughout the book. This, I also respect.
Overall, I’d recommend this book to any queer person, anyone who has had traumatizing sexual experiences, or anyone who has struggled or is struggling with addiction. This is a book about healing, and how that process is never linear. I feel like I was sent into Tommy’s universe to experience her healing journey alongside her. I couldn’t put the book down, and I think that speaks for itself!
After the first few chapters, I really enjoyed the format of the book is divided up by Tarot cards. I don’t know much of anything about Tarot, but it definitely worked in terms of giving the book flow.
Tommy’s life story is heartbreaking a lot of the time, but I respect how raw she was in telling her story. There are a lot of blunt moments, going into detail of queer sexual experiences, a lot of which were traumatizing and invasive, but some that were beautiful and warm. In memoirs especially, I haven’t really read a book that goes into such detail on the queer sexual experience, so for that, I really do admire Tommy for opening up so publicly within the pages of this book.
I did get confused at times when Tommy jumped around timelines, but I would say I was still able to follow through most of the book.
I love how descriptive Tommy is. It is a true testament of the artist she is. I feel like a lot of celebrities who write memoirs try to over-do the descriptiveness of things, almost like they do it just because they think they have to since they’re writing a book. Tommy did not describe things in this capacity, everything was beautifully written and felt natural.
There was definitely some moments where I cringed at Tommy’s privilege, but she does forwardly admit this throughout the book. This, I also respect.
Overall, I’d recommend this book to any queer person, anyone who has had traumatizing sexual experiences, or anyone who has struggled or is struggling with addiction. This is a book about healing, and how that process is never linear. I feel like I was sent into Tommy’s universe to experience her healing journey alongside her. I couldn’t put the book down, and I think that speaks for itself!
June 23, 2025
i saw tommy in romeo + juliet on broadway last october, so when i saw that her book was coming out, i knew i wanted to read it. i knew next to nothing about her besides some of her work and that she was a trans woman. that was it. i didn’t know of her struggles with addiction (alcohol, drugs, shopping) or the abuses she suffered as a child when older men took advantage of her youth and desperation and craving for touch and love or the way those feelings and her addictions also led her to abuse her own partners (something she fully admits to and describes how it changed her and how she has changed since, which is good because i feel like some people aren’t able to be introspective enough to tell this part of their story tastefully). the way she struggled and the ways she overcame her struggles were laid out in painful detail sometimes. the book is laid out split up into connections with tarot cards that she pulls at the beginning of the memoir. so it isn’t chronological and the chapters don’t always touch on just one subject. some subjects are covered from many different angles (such as addiction and acting and relationships) in many different chapters. i found it a tiny bit difficult to keep up with the timeline of tommy’s life since the chapters went back and forth between events and years so frequently, but i think that sort of helped get the point across. for so long she felt like she wasn’t in control of her own life. her work, relationships with friends and family and lovers, addiction, identity, etc., were all over the place and it took her a very long time to figure out who she was. and i like that she ends by saying she’s not always looking for answers anymore but she is trying to stay on the right track and figure herself out and keep moving forward. i liked it a lot. not my favorite memoir ever, but it was definitely very powerful.
June 16, 2025
I picked this up on a whim after forgetting I had placed a library hold—and ended up reading it in a single day. I’ve been a fan of Tommy since “13 Reasons Why” (yes, I finished the whole series!) and was really looking forward to hearing her story in her own words.
“Maybe This Will Save Me” is framed through a tarot pull, which gives it a unique structure as Tommy reflects on the fragmented, often painful pieces of her life—her early struggles with identity, addiction, sexuality, and eventually, gender. She’s raw and unflinching, especially in recounting traumatic experiences like sexual abuse and grooming, which I found particularly triggering at times. Still, those moments underscored just how much strength and self-awareness it’s taken for her to get to where she is now.
I related deeply to parts of her story—especially growing up queer in a small town (hers was Atlanta, mine the Midwest). That sense of isolation and longing to be seen felt incredibly familiar.
That said, I did wish for more detail in some areas. Her college years and move to New York felt glossed over, and I was especially curious about how her creative journey and identity continued to evolve in her twenties. The sections on rehab and sobriety were honest but also felt brief. Of course, memoirs are complicated to write when your life is still unfolding—and she’s only 33—but a bit more depth would have made the later chapters even more impactful.
Overall, I loved it. It’s emotionally intense, beautifully written, and structurally bold. Tommy’s voice is clear, vulnerable, and compelling, and I’ll be rooting for her always.
“Maybe This Will Save Me” is framed through a tarot pull, which gives it a unique structure as Tommy reflects on the fragmented, often painful pieces of her life—her early struggles with identity, addiction, sexuality, and eventually, gender. She’s raw and unflinching, especially in recounting traumatic experiences like sexual abuse and grooming, which I found particularly triggering at times. Still, those moments underscored just how much strength and self-awareness it’s taken for her to get to where she is now.
I related deeply to parts of her story—especially growing up queer in a small town (hers was Atlanta, mine the Midwest). That sense of isolation and longing to be seen felt incredibly familiar.
That said, I did wish for more detail in some areas. Her college years and move to New York felt glossed over, and I was especially curious about how her creative journey and identity continued to evolve in her twenties. The sections on rehab and sobriety were honest but also felt brief. Of course, memoirs are complicated to write when your life is still unfolding—and she’s only 33—but a bit more depth would have made the later chapters even more impactful.
Overall, I loved it. It’s emotionally intense, beautifully written, and structurally bold. Tommy’s voice is clear, vulnerable, and compelling, and I’ll be rooting for her always.
June 13, 2025
I found this memoir to be one of the most interestingly told ones I've read in a long time. Tommy weaves her story through a tarot reading (which I'll be honest I'm not super familiar with and appreciated when she would give some background into what each card meant) and while the structure sometimes worked really well it did sometimes feel a bit confusing. Now that confusion could mostly be my own fault for not knowing very much about tarot, but I will note that when someone writes a memoir in a nonlinear fashion they have to do it in a way that I find doesn't confuse me as a reader.
But other than my critiques about the nonlinear storytelling style, I found this to be one of the most honest memoirs about addiction, coming out, finding yourself, and what art can do for a person. I of course know Tommy from 13 Reasons Why on Netflix (that was a wild time am I right?) and when I read an excerpt of their memoir in an article a couple weeks ago I just knew I had to read it. Tommy is very honest about her drug and alcohol addiction, growing up as a gay boy in the South, coming to the realization that they were trans and how a lot of their addiction troubles could be traced to that, and learning to navigate the world as an out trans woman.
In a time where trans women are continuing to be attacked for simply existing in this country, it's so important that more of these stories are being published. Especially ones as messy and honest as this one.
Thank you NetGalley for the audio review copy. All thoughts are my own.
But other than my critiques about the nonlinear storytelling style, I found this to be one of the most honest memoirs about addiction, coming out, finding yourself, and what art can do for a person. I of course know Tommy from 13 Reasons Why on Netflix (that was a wild time am I right?) and when I read an excerpt of their memoir in an article a couple weeks ago I just knew I had to read it. Tommy is very honest about her drug and alcohol addiction, growing up as a gay boy in the South, coming to the realization that they were trans and how a lot of their addiction troubles could be traced to that, and learning to navigate the world as an out trans woman.
In a time where trans women are continuing to be attacked for simply existing in this country, it's so important that more of these stories are being published. Especially ones as messy and honest as this one.
Thank you NetGalley for the audio review copy. All thoughts are my own.
May 28, 2025
📚 Pub Week Memoir Review 📚
Thanks so much to @htp_hive @hanoversquarepress #partner for reaching out and sending me a #gifted copy. I absolutely appreciate and love being a #HiveInfluencer
This is a real and raw account of Tommy Dorfman’s life. She is known for being on the Netflix hit series 13 Reasons Why. She is now a director, writer and actor.
She struggled with drug and alcohol addiction at an early age. While she explained wanting to escape the feelings of fear and identity, and just numb herself, I knew all too well how that felt. She would pick up that phone and call her sponsor. Guys, I admired the hell outta her because at that time she was still pretty young.
There are details of past relationships and sexual encounters (very detailed). My jaw was on the floor for some of it. Girl, you let it all hang out 😱. How she struggled with a crippling marriage. No matter what, she never wanted to be alone.
What I loved is how she found who she wanted to be and transitioned. Her father and family always supported her and loved her. I love that. Btw, my seventeen year-old daughter is gay and I will always love and support her.
Through the years she went to counseling, got help, used tarot cards for spiritual guidance and fell in love with art and theater. She truly found herself.
This is a tale of love and identity. I absolutely loved it. I listened to this on audio and alternated between the book.
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thanks so much to @htp_hive @hanoversquarepress #partner for reaching out and sending me a #gifted copy. I absolutely appreciate and love being a #HiveInfluencer
This is a real and raw account of Tommy Dorfman’s life. She is known for being on the Netflix hit series 13 Reasons Why. She is now a director, writer and actor.
She struggled with drug and alcohol addiction at an early age. While she explained wanting to escape the feelings of fear and identity, and just numb herself, I knew all too well how that felt. She would pick up that phone and call her sponsor. Guys, I admired the hell outta her because at that time she was still pretty young.
There are details of past relationships and sexual encounters (very detailed). My jaw was on the floor for some of it. Girl, you let it all hang out 😱. How she struggled with a crippling marriage. No matter what, she never wanted to be alone.
What I loved is how she found who she wanted to be and transitioned. Her father and family always supported her and loved her. I love that. Btw, my seventeen year-old daughter is gay and I will always love and support her.
Through the years she went to counseling, got help, used tarot cards for spiritual guidance and fell in love with art and theater. She truly found herself.
This is a tale of love and identity. I absolutely loved it. I listened to this on audio and alternated between the book.
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
May 27, 2025
just finished maybe this will save me by tommy dorfman. i saw tommy onstage in romeo and juliet on broadway and also off broadway in the play becoming eve so i was already curious to read her memoir.
the book is structured around a tarot reading tommy does during a weekend at a lake in montana. each chapter is named after a card she pulls, and the structure is non-linear which gives allows her to circle around different moments in her life and come at them from new angles. she’s in her early thirties but has already lived so many lives. from growing up with immense privilege in suburban atlanta to going to summer camps with hollywood kids, then acting school, rehab, and a breakout role in the Netflix show 13 reasons why. Her struggles with addiction punctuate each of these points in her timeline.
tommy feels everything all at once and she knows it. she can be too much, and she admits that, but it’s part of what makes her interesting. at times the memoir veers into celebrity name-dropping and can feel like a sex diary in places (often in excruciating detail) but it’s also full of sharp insights about courage, transition, and being known for who she was before and who she is now. she writes beautifully about gender and identity and fame. excited to see what she performs in next.
the book is structured around a tarot reading tommy does during a weekend at a lake in montana. each chapter is named after a card she pulls, and the structure is non-linear which gives allows her to circle around different moments in her life and come at them from new angles. she’s in her early thirties but has already lived so many lives. from growing up with immense privilege in suburban atlanta to going to summer camps with hollywood kids, then acting school, rehab, and a breakout role in the Netflix show 13 reasons why. Her struggles with addiction punctuate each of these points in her timeline.
tommy feels everything all at once and she knows it. she can be too much, and she admits that, but it’s part of what makes her interesting. at times the memoir veers into celebrity name-dropping and can feel like a sex diary in places (often in excruciating detail) but it’s also full of sharp insights about courage, transition, and being known for who she was before and who she is now. she writes beautifully about gender and identity and fame. excited to see what she performs in next.
Read
June 12, 2025I love celebrity memoirs, and I found this one pretty interesting. One thing that confuses me in memoirs sometimes (and it’s probably just a “me” thing) is when timelines get skipped around, as it can be hard for me to follow. There was a lot of sexually explicit content, too, that I wasn’t quite expecting. A lot of that content happened to Tommy as a young teen, which really concerned me and was hard to read about. Being a teen and coming into yourself in general is such a hard time, but adding in being LGBTQ when there aren’t a lot of others at your high school, made me just want to give Tommy a hug.
One of my favorite parts of the memoir, though, (besides Tommy’s biting humor) was the use of Tarot cards being markers between parts. I loved that she incorporated something that meant a lot to her, too. Tommy was also extremely open about everything that happened in her life, and I hope writing this book was cathartic for her.
𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝑰'𝒅 𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐:
Anyone wanting to relate to Tommy- artists, addicts, people going through transitioning. Or those that just want more understanding of those subjects.
𝑨 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:
Tommy narrated this herself and did a wonderful job. I loved that you could really hear her humor through her voice.
One of my favorite parts of the memoir, though, (besides Tommy’s biting humor) was the use of Tarot cards being markers between parts. I loved that she incorporated something that meant a lot to her, too. Tommy was also extremely open about everything that happened in her life, and I hope writing this book was cathartic for her.
𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝑰'𝒅 𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐:
Anyone wanting to relate to Tommy- artists, addicts, people going through transitioning. Or those that just want more understanding of those subjects.
𝑨 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:
Tommy narrated this herself and did a wonderful job. I loved that you could really hear her humor through her voice.
May 12, 2025
The strength it takes to be so open about yourself regarding addiction, transgender identity, and the art you want to make in this world is very empowering.
My first introduction to Tommy Dorfman was through the announcement of one of my favorite queer books being turned into a movie. Her name came up once again for the casting of Romeo + Juliet on Broadway. Despite not seeing her on Broadway or her debut feature film, I have never stopped supporting her or her work.
It’s hard to be transgender in this world. It’s hard to find your place, be strong, and give yourself grace. People like us are special. Something I loved reading in this book was Tommy’s Mother telling her that she is a light in this world, which is the same thing my mother has been telling me for years as I navigate my own transgender journey. It was a nice message to look on as a reader.
Thank you so much, Hanover Square Press, for sending me an ARC of Maybe This Will Save Me. Truly a wonderful read to start off my summer.
My first introduction to Tommy Dorfman was through the announcement of one of my favorite queer books being turned into a movie. Her name came up once again for the casting of Romeo + Juliet on Broadway. Despite not seeing her on Broadway or her debut feature film, I have never stopped supporting her or her work.
It’s hard to be transgender in this world. It’s hard to find your place, be strong, and give yourself grace. People like us are special. Something I loved reading in this book was Tommy’s Mother telling her that she is a light in this world, which is the same thing my mother has been telling me for years as I navigate my own transgender journey. It was a nice message to look on as a reader.
Thank you so much, Hanover Square Press, for sending me an ARC of Maybe This Will Save Me. Truly a wonderful read to start off my summer.
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