Ljubiti drug drugega - Izziv medčloveških odnosov

by Leo F. Buscaglia

Ugledni univerzitetni profesor in avtor več knjižnih uspešnic je začel o ljubezni predavati po tem, ko je ena od njegovih študentk storila samomor. Ugotavlja, da ima sodobni človek do ljubezni, pa tudi drugih pozitivnih čustev, kot so velikodušnost, odpuščanje itd., vedno bolj zafrkljiv odnos, pa čeprav dobro ve (in to dokazujejo tudi znanstvene študije), da pa so ravno ta čustva bistvenega pomena za posameznikovo intelektualno, duhovno in čustveno rast. Vse bolj postajamo družba individualistov, ki najbolj ceni osebno svobodo in neodvisnost, kar pa nas sočasno žene v propad. Avtor skuša pojasniti, zakaj se tako bojimo zaveze, da bomo ljubili drug drugega, kaj takšna zaveza pomeni in ne nazadnje, zakaj si moramo priznati, da nismo primerni za vsakogar. Prav tako ponudi obilo nasvetov, kako vzpostaviti in vzdrževati ljubeč odnos.

Kristina Sluga; Bukla 94

http://www.bukla.si/?action=books&amp...

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Love, Inspirational

223 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

known as "Dr. Love"

Dr. Felice Leonardo Buscaglia Ph.D. was a professor in the Department of Special Education at the University of Southern California. He was a graduate of Theodore Roosevelt High School (Los Angeles).

Leo Buscaglia authored a number of New York Times bestselling inspirational books on love and human reticences on the subject, including The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Bus 9 to Paradise, Living Loving and Learning, Love and My Father. In lectures he often protested, in outrage at the comparative absence of writings on the subject, "I got the copyright for love!!!"

Reviews

[aftab m · Rating 5 out of 5]

لئو بوسکالیا شاید یکی از بی نظیرترین روانشناسان قرن حاضر باشد او به ساده ترین روش هاو و آسانترین راهها به شما کمک میکند که خویش را باز یابید و سر چشمه ی سلامتی را عشق میداند و رها ساختن خویش از قیود کاذب و تحمیلی او راحت زندگی میکند و و شیرین خاطراتش را بازگو میکند و تو در نوشته هایش خود را بااو همراه حس میکنی کتاب دیگر وی اتوبوس شماره نه به مقصد بهشت نیز بسیار خواندنیست خواندن نوشته های وی به شما کمک میکند که بهتر بیاندیشید از حقایق نگریزید و دنیا را آ«چنان که باید زیاد سخت نگیرید.
به هر حال من به شخصه خواندن نوشته های او را در هر مقطع سنی توصیه میکنم به خصوص با این جهانی که به سرعت به سوی تکنولوژ ی های برتر به پیش میتازد و انسانها از یکدیگر در حال فاصله گرفتن هستند.


آذر .محمودی

[ZaRi]

باید یاد بگیرید نمی‌توانید محبوب همگان باشید. شما می‌توانید بهترین آلوی دنیا باشید، رسیده، آبدار، شیرین و خوشمزه.
اما یادتان باشد، هستند آدم‌هایی که آلو دوست ندارند.
باید بفهمید که اگر مرغوب‌ترین آلو هستید، اما دوست شما آلو دوست ندارد، حالا می
توانید انتخاب کنید که موز بشوید، اما باید متوجه باشید که اگر تصمیم بگیرید موز بشوید، همیشه یک موز درجه دوم خواهید بود، در حالیکه می‌توانستید برای همیشه بهترین آلوی دنیا باقی بمانید.....

[Ziyanda Xaso · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books on relationships I've read, and I have read a lot! I love Leo's informal and simple, yet effective, style of writing. The book is an amazingly easy read, the ideas presented are simple to grasp, yet not simplistic. The book flows easily from one topic to the next and I love how he introduces the topics in the beginning of the book as well.

One of the first things he tackles is the "and they lived happily ever after" myth - one of the most tragic sentences in literature! I love the fact that he tackles the fairy tale myth head on, one of the main reasons why marriages fail.

I enjoyed how he presented his study and how he analyses each of the qualities identified for a successful relationship. I love the fact that the focus is not only on sexual relationship but also on non-sexual relationships. The qualities discussed in the book are required for successful relating in general.

All in all a great book that I will keep coming back to on an ongoing basis.

[Martine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was not my first Buscaglia book that I read. He's from an Italian family and is very demonstrative in expressing his emotions. This book was helpful for me at the time I read it since my childhood memories are from a volatile and dysfunctional family, so I relished reading books where the families were loving and open.

[Satar · Rating 4 out of 5]

من اين كتاب را خيلي جوان بودم كه خواندم ٢٠ساله.انديشه ام نسبت به زندكي خيلي خيلي تفاوت كرد.توانستم به تمام عشقم برسم.وقتش رسيده تا دوباره بخوانم..كتابي جادويي و بسيار اسرار اميز.ميدانم دوباره مي توانم عاشق زندكي شوم بعداز سالها كه انرا فراموش كرده ام

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy all of his books. A mentor of my life.

[Melo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me gusta como escribe el autor, simple de seguir, te deja la idea clara con pocas palabras y ejemplos realistas.
(Si hubiera tenido más tiempo habría sido mejor)

[Catherine Madry-Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great self-help book for people who are having problems loving through communication, in honesty, in forgiveness,in joy, in letting go,and in intimacy. Many people are afraid to commit to actually loving each other. The lessons learned is intended to help you show love, tenderness, compassion, caring, sharing, and thereby relating to each other using our most vital human behaviors.

Most people lived their lives without using these qualities. Although they may have the best of health, the most comfortable of homes, and the most impressive of bank balances . . . their lives are still empty.

It seems that if you love, you are considered naive. If happy, you are considered frivolous and simple. If generous and altruistic, you are considered suspect. If forgiving, you are considered weak. If trusting , you are considered a fool. If you try to be all these things, people are sure you are a phony. Because of this many people are detached and non committed and too sophisticated to admit to their confusion and unhappiness and too caught up in ego to risk doing anything about it. This book will set you on the right course of loving yourself and showing that love to others.

[Khodam · Rating 3 out of 5]

مشابه کتاب های هم ردیف خودش ... چیز خاصی نداره ... فقط یه درس کلی .... مهربون باشید . خودتون باشید . اصل و واقعی باشید . یکرنگ باشید . و مجددا داستان تکراری هویت آلوووو
_______

ﺑﺎﯾﺪ ﯾﺎﺩ ﺑﮕﯿﺮﯾﺪ ﻧﻤﯽﺗﻮﺍﻧﯿﺪ ﻣﺤﺒﻮﺏ ﻫﻤﮕﺎﻥ ﺑﺎﺷﯿﺪ. ﺷﻤﺎ میتوﺍﻧﯿﺪ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﯾﻦ ﺁﻟﻮﯼ ﺩﻧﯿﺎ ﺑﺎﺷﯿﺪ، ﺭﺳﯿﺪﻩ، ﺁﺑﺪﺍﺭ، ﺷﯿﺮﯾﻦ ﻭ ﺧﻮﺷﻤﺰﻩ ... ﺍﻣﺎ ﯾﺎﺩﺗﺎﻥ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ، ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ ﺁﺩﻣﻬﺎﯾﯽ ﮐﻪ ﺁﻟﻮ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﻧﺪﺍﺭﻧﺪ.

ﺑﺎﯾﺪ ﺑﻔﻬﻤﯿﺪ ﮐﻪ ﺍﮔﺮ ﻣﺮﻏﻮﺑﺘﺮﯾﻦ ﺁﻟﻮ ﻫﺴﺘﯿﺪ، ﺍﻣﺎ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺁﻟﻮ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﻧﺪﺍﺭﺩ، ﺣﺎﻻ ﻣﯽ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﯿﺪ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﮐﻨﯿﺪ ﮐﻪ ﻣﻮﺯ ﺑﺸﻮﯾﺪ، ﺍﻣﺎ ﺑﺎﯾﺪ ﻣﺘﻮﺟﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﯿﺪ ﮐﻪ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺗﺼﻤﯿﻢ ﺑﮕﯿﺮﯾﺪ ﻣﻮﺯ ﺑﺸﻮﯾﺪ، ﻫﻤﯿﺸﻪ ﯾﮏ ﻣﻮﺯ ﺩﺭﺟﻪ ﺩﻭﻡ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﯿﺪ ﺑﻮﺩ، ﺩﺭ ﺣﺎﻟﯿﮑﻪ ﻣﯽ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﺴﺘﯿﺪ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﻫﻤﯿﺸﻪ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﯾﻦ ﺁﻟﻮﯼ ﺩﻧﯿﺎ ﺑﺎﻗﯽ ﺑﻤﺎﻧﯿﺪ !

[Ara Stepanian · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book realy changed my point of view, I read it when I was a teenager, and it showed me how to love people, and what to do, that others love me.

[Steve Sapato · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leo makes reaing a real joy. Sharing is experiences and life and travels. I know you will enjoy all of Leo's books, tapes or CD's.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read several of Leo's books and Iove them all! I really enjoyed this book.

[Blackdogsworld · Rating 3 out of 5]

ความรัก ความสัมพันธ์ ไม่ใช่สถานที่เทขยะของเทศบาล ที่จะรองรับความเห็นแก่ตัว การถือเอาประโยชน์ของตัวเองเป็นใหญ่ ความสิ้นหวังและความกลัว เราจะเจริญก้าวหน้าได้ก็ต่อเมื่อ เรารับผิดชอบต่อความสุขและร่าเริงของเราเอง ของเหล่านี้ไม่สามารถเกิดจากภายนอกตัวเราได้ ความสุข ความสงบที่คงอยู่ตลอดไป ย่อมมาจากภายในตัวเราเอง เมื่อมันตกมาเป็นของเราแล้ว คนอื่นสิ่งอื่นเกิดขึ้นมาแล้วก็ผ่านไป ความสุขยังเป็นของเราอยู่ตลอด

- แง่งามในความรัก, ลีโอ บุสคาเกลีย

----------

หนังสือเล่มบาง ๆ เล่มนี้ ชวนเราสำรวจความรักในแง่มุมต่าง ๆ ซึ่งเกี่ยวพันกับอารมณ์และคุณลักษณะอันหลากหลายของความเป็นมนุษย์

ผมเชื่อว่าไม่มีคำตอบสำเร็จรูป ว่าความรักคืออะไร และเราควรรักแบบใด แต่มันคือสิ่งที่ควรค่าแก่การพินิจพิจารณาให้รอบด้าน

[Nektaria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leo Buscaglia being the biggest cutie pie and the best hugger and spreader of love for yet another book that absolutely made my day and warmed my heart!

[Gabriela Ruelas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have given this book 5 stars if it wasn't for the message in Ch. 4: Loving Each Other In Forgiveness. I believe forgiveness is not needed to obtain happiness or in order to move on with your life. You can take what someone did to you and move past it without the need of forgiveness. You don't have to forgive someone to continue a relationship. You don't have to forgive someone even if you are no longer associating yourself with that person. Forgiveness should not be your focus when trying to mend a relationship or trying to mend your broken heart. It has more to do with how that event is causing you to feel, think and behave not just now but in the future. Don't let others tell you that you NEED to forgive to be able to HEAL. Everyone is different. Forgiving might have an effect, it might not. Whatever you decided to do to, forgive or not forgive, let it be a voluntary act.

Forgiveness is not always needed to be in a good mental, emotional, or physical state with yourself or others. Remember that.

[Μαρία · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Η τρυφερότητα αναδύεται από το γεγονός ότι τα δύο πρόσωπα,επιθυμώντας,όπως και κάθε άλλο άτομο,να ξεπεράσουν το χωρισμό και την απομόνωση,καταστάσεις που όλοι κληρονομούμε,ακριβώς επειδή είμαστε άτομα,μπορούν να συμμετάσχουν σε μια σχέση που,προς το παρόν,δεν αποτελείται από δυο απομονωμένους εαυτούς,αλλά από μια ένωση."
"Η ευτυχία είναι το μεγαλύτερο κατόρθωμα του ανθρώπου.Είναι η ανταπόκριση της ολοκληρωμένης προσωπικότητάς του προς έναν παραγωγικό προσανατολισμό προς τον εαυτό του και τον έξω κόσμο."
"Όλοι μπορούμε να ωφεληθούμε μαθαίνοντας να εκφράζουμε τις σωματικές μας ανάγκες μ' έναν τρόπο τρυφερότητας και αγάπης.Γι' αυτόν το λόγο,εγώ δίνω στους ασθενείς μου ασκήσεις για το σπίτι: στη διάρκεια των εβδομάδων που θ' ακολουθήσουν πρέπει να δέχονται,αλλά και να προσφέρουν,κατά μέσο όρο τέσσερα αγκαλιάσματα την ημέρα-μην το ξεχνάτε ποτέ.Κανένας δεν πέθανε ποτέ από υπερβολική δόση εναγκαλισμών."

[Nikki Burdick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Buscaglia has rightly asserted that not many books have been written about relationships. This easy-to-read book deals with all the facets that constitute healthy relationships. While Dr. Love does not limit the relationships to women-men, and he includes our closest relationships (parents, children, etc.), his prescription for loving one another is broken down into categories (intimacy, jealousy, etc.) and is a fairly quick read. Anyone who is in a love-based relationship ought to read this. Highly recommend.

[Jazzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the first books I bought from my own school allowance. It was a great read. I still get to reread it every time I would have questions about relationships. We are all social beings, whether we like it or not, we need to relate with other people in order to live our lives to the fullest.

One of my favorite lines in this book is,
" What you learn about yourself will infinitely help in trying to understand others."

[Joyzi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a gift given to me by my new friend. She gave this to me for my birthday. Although I'm not really a fan of self-help books particularly about love, this book is quite helpful and tolerable. It's a short read and it's a nice break from reading a lot of books about law. :)

[Tyema Greenawalt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like all of Leo Buscaglia’s books, this book is very informative. It helps the reader to travel within and gain insight on the ways we project ourselves out into the world and the way we connect with others on a day to day basis.

[Daylynn Foster · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very valuable. He said things I didn't know or realize. Easy to read, too.

[Juljana Pergega · Rating 4 out of 5]

si gjithmone, kenaqesi te lexosh Buscaglian :)

[Emad · Rating 3 out of 5]

انسان جز عشق ورزیدن چاره ای ندارد، زیرا او که عشق نمی ورزد باید به تنهایی، ناامیدی و تباهی تن در دهد.

[Fateme nmn · Rating 4 out of 5]

این کتاب به نظرم خیلی خوب درس زندگی میده و باید چندوقت یکبار مرورش کرد تا یادمون بمونه و فراموش نکنیم.
کتابیه که به نظرم هرانسانی یکبار باید بخونه

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book review is for: “Loving Each Other” (1984©), written by Dr. Leo Buscaglia. (The “Dr.” is for PhD, not Medical Doctor.) Dr. Buscaglia was half-known as “Dr. Love”, and was pretty much world famous as an author and motivational / relationship speaker back in the 1980’s / 1990’s. He was also a lecturing professor at the University of Southern California. He has since passed away (1998), but you can view some of his lectures and interviews on YouTube.

This is a book I’ve been carrying around for decades and just never got around to reading. Back in the 1980’s, my wife and I used to watch Buscaglia’s lectures on Public Television (KQED) during “pledge week”, and this book (my copy) is marked as being from KQED and “Not For Sale”. Which is okay, because I’m probably not going to sell it. It has too many quotes for me to use as future posts on my blog (LoL).

The book is sub-titled: “The Challenge of Human Relationships” and that’s pretty much what the book is all about. It seems as part of his academic work researching “successful” relationships, Dr. Buscaglia sent out a survey to 1,000 folks and received back an over 60% response rate. Dr. Leo analyzed the responses and this book is his summary of what the respondents opinions were of why relationships succeed (and fail). The book has ten chapters: an intro / definition of a “loving relationship”, three ending chapters – kind of a two-headed summary of the book, a chapter quoting some of the advise from the survey / questionnaire, and it has six chapters dealing with (what the Dr. believes) are the key components of a successful, long-term relationship. The components are: Communication, Honesty, Forgiveness, Joy, Letting go of jealousy, and Intimacy. The chapter with the advise quotes is really just filler to get the book up to the 200 page minimum for this type of relationship / self-help book. (IMHO)

So, is the book interesting and any good? Yes and yes. The Doctor is a terrific public speaker and the book completely mimics his style. There are absolutely no “airs” about him or his family / up-bringing and this makes for a true family history story-telling. At just 208 pages (including notes and bibliography / further reading), the book will be a fast read for most. The book took me a couple of weeks to get through, because I was using it as a prompt to my imagination of future conversations I could have with my wife. I started the book while she was away visiting her family in Liverpool this month. Even a slow reader (like myself) could get through this book in three days of a couple of hours each day. The author’s conversational style of writing makes for a pleasant break in an otherwise hectic / “normal” day. I found myself intentionally pacing myself so I could enjoy the book longer. Reading it was like catching up with an old friend you haven’t seen in awhile and wanting to stay just a few minutes longer.

Final recommendation: Very Highly Recommended! I have actually gone online to try to find a copy of the survey Dr. Buscaglia sent out, but have not located it. I am tempted to re-create a portion of the survey to post on my own blog to see what results I might get. Given I have so few followers, it might be possible for me to offer up the results “raw” and / or if I did happen to get sufficient responses, I might analyze them and compare / contrast the results with those from the book. It just sounds like it might be an interesting project for the future…

There is a saying in the martial arts that when a student is ready a master will appear. I guess the time was ripe for me to finally read this book. Again, if you can’t afford to buy Dr. Buscaglia’s books, several of his lectures are available online (on YouTube). I highly recommend those, too!

Love, Hugs and Smiles to all…

[nima karimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships is a thoughtful and enlightening exploration of what it truly takes to nurture and sustain meaningful relationships. This book taught me that relationships are dynamic, living entities that require intentional effort and care to thrive.

Through its insights, I realized that making a relationship work involves compromise, commitment, and mutual understanding. It emphasizes the importance of prioritizing your partner's needs alongside your own, growing together as individuals, and accepting that everyone comes from different backgrounds and perspectives. Understanding and embracing these differences is key to building a stronger bond.

The book also sheds light on overcoming jealousy, which stems from insecurity and low self-esteem, and the importance of self-respect and self-awareness. It challenges the notion of "owning" a partner and instead encourages a mindset of partnership and growth. Your partner is not someone to control but an individual with their own needs, living and growing alongside you.

I found the emphasis on physical touch as a healing force particularly compelling, as well as the importance of respecting each other's rituals and cultures. The book teaches that harboring revenge or unforgiveness only blinds us, preventing clarity and emotional freedom.

Most importantly, it encourages flexibility, acceptance, and the art of loving someone for who they are, rather than trying to change them for personal gain.

For anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of relationships and build stronger, more meaningful bonds, this book offers timeless wisdom and practical guidance. It's a must-read for those ready to embrace the challenges and rewards of genuine human connection.

[Dan Haiduc · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a helicopter tour of human relationship aspects. You get some hows, whys and buts and a few examples, but it is quite abstract overall; philosophical and theoretical.

A survey is featured, showing traits desirable in a relationship:

- Communication
- Affection
- Compassion/Forgiveness
- Honesty
- Acceptance
- Dependability
- Sense of humor
- Romance (incl. sex)
- Patience
- Freedom

I have some qualms about the absolute forgiveness proposed in the book. Should I forgive anything? What does forgiveness mean? Does going no-contact with an abuser count as forgiving them?

But I am pretty convinced about the other aspects :
- Listen and express your needs clearly and kindly.
- Show yourself, including imperfections - be vulnerable.
- Accept others' imperrfections. Forgive their mistakes.
- Engage in rituals, traditions, and touch (though I strongly advise getting consent beforehand).
- Have fun.
- Let go of control - you can't force anyone to stay. Your jealousy comes from within yourself.

I didn't learn that much. A lot of these were known to me. One of Covey's 7 Habits is "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". But it is useful to have these aspects neatly arranged and ordered by importance, and to be reminded of them.

[Nicole Nygard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this book a 3.5 rating if I could. I believe the author is very dedicated to this subject and deserves recognition for that. I like his way of writing, very casual, yet informative. I will say that I found myself not as focused on some areas of the book and at times it was hard to get through (my reasoning for a lower rating). I enjoyed the survey portions of the book where individuals could explain what they felt was needed in a relationship (eg: communication, honesty, loyalty) and how they described love. It is a short book and does not take much of your time, so if this subject has any interest to you, I would give it a shot. It will not give you statistic after statistic though, so if you want a very research heavy book, this probably wouldn’t be it. This author mainly goes off of a couple of his surveys and what he has learned through his experience.

[Fatih Turul · Rating 5 out of 5]

“İnsanın kurtuluşu sağlıklı bir ilişki kurmasına bağlıdır.” diyor Leo Buscaglia bu kitabında da “sağlıklı” kavramını daha da açıyor birbirimizi severken koşullara nasıl takıldığımızı görmemize bu koşullardan nasıl özgürleşebileceğimize dair hem kendi hayatından hem de başka kaynaklardan sade bir dille yol gösteriyor.

Sevginin profesörü olarak “Gerçekte kendimizi sevginin ellerine bırakmak bir çözümden çok bir sorunu oluşturmaktadır.” sözüyle aslında “sevgi dediğimiz şeye” yeni bir bakışa davet ediyor, sevgi dolu bir yaşam ve birliktelik önündeki yıkıcı bazı özelliklerimizi görebilmek, sorun dediğimiz gördüğümüz şeylere dair yeni bir stratejiye dair bir umut yakabilmek isteyenleri bu kitabı okumaya davet ediyorum.

[اُکالیپتوس · Rating 5 out of 5]

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