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Damage Control: A Memoir of Outlandish Privilege, Loss and Redemption
A powerful, blazingly honest memoir about a gay man and his larger than life, Cuban mother finding each other and reconciling after years of estrangement.
When Sergei, a psychotherapist, discovers that his mother is terminally ill, he decides to leave his practice and his life in Paris to be by her side. In the process of adopting a child himself, he does not want her to die thinking that one of her children hated her, and he hopes to understand and make peace with this complicated woman before it is too late.
Alternating between Dollsie’s last months as she battles pancreatic cancer, and poignant, often hilarious (and at times shocking) scenes from Sergei’s childhood, DAMAGE CONTROL is a tale of outlandish excess; of wildly glamorous and entitled lives lived above the fray - and in deep denial.
From the mountain village of Gstaad, Switzerland, to New York, Miami and Cuba, the memoir explores the emotional and geographical landscapes of a mother and son whose lives are revealed to be poignant parallels. After avoiding his narcissistic mother for a lifetime, seeking shelter from her rage, Sergei comes face-to-face with Dollsie as she confronts mortality. Through his own experiences as a gay man journeying through the joys and perils of his generation, coming out in the early eighties in the deathly shadow of HIV and AIDS, and his years as an activist and therapist in the field, Sergei helps his mother come to terms with her guilt, her regrets and her fear of dying.
DAMAGE CONTROL is ultimately a rendering of the cycle of life; saying goodbye to a parent so you can say hello to a child, and finding grace and forgiveness through a mother’s love.
When Sergei, a psychotherapist, discovers that his mother is terminally ill, he decides to leave his practice and his life in Paris to be by her side. In the process of adopting a child himself, he does not want her to die thinking that one of her children hated her, and he hopes to understand and make peace with this complicated woman before it is too late.
Alternating between Dollsie’s last months as she battles pancreatic cancer, and poignant, often hilarious (and at times shocking) scenes from Sergei’s childhood, DAMAGE CONTROL is a tale of outlandish excess; of wildly glamorous and entitled lives lived above the fray - and in deep denial.
From the mountain village of Gstaad, Switzerland, to New York, Miami and Cuba, the memoir explores the emotional and geographical landscapes of a mother and son whose lives are revealed to be poignant parallels. After avoiding his narcissistic mother for a lifetime, seeking shelter from her rage, Sergei comes face-to-face with Dollsie as she confronts mortality. Through his own experiences as a gay man journeying through the joys and perils of his generation, coming out in the early eighties in the deathly shadow of HIV and AIDS, and his years as an activist and therapist in the field, Sergei helps his mother come to terms with her guilt, her regrets and her fear of dying.
DAMAGE CONTROL is ultimately a rendering of the cycle of life; saying goodbye to a parent so you can say hello to a child, and finding grace and forgiveness through a mother’s love.
296 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 27, 2014
3 people are currently reading
48 people want to read
About the author
Sergei Boissier
2 books14 followersSergei Boissier was born in New York City, and raised between New York, Geneva, and Gstaad, Switzerland. He received his B.A. and M.A. in English Literature from Georgetown University. After a brief stint in publishing, working for Atlantic Monthly Press and Doubleday, he moved to California and became a family counselor and psychotherapist. He then moved to Paris, where he lived and practiced therapy for ten years.
Sergei is the author of “Children with AIDS in the Bronx,” published in “BETRAYAL: A Report on Violence Toward Children in Today’s World” (edited by Caroline Moorehead, Doubleday, 1990), as well as several unpublished novels.
He is a single parent, raising his daughter Yasmina, age 8, whom he adopted at birth. They live between New Orleans, Louisiana, and Hydra, Greece.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 14, 2020
Boissier delivers a mesmerizing account of the life of a family shrouded in abundance and disappointment, with an eccentric matriarch rich with glamour, eloquence, humor, and unbelievable authenticity. A wonderful book!
August 5, 2014
I was very moved by Boissier's painfully honest examination of his difficult relationship with his mother and family, while at the same time very impressed with his innate ability to craft an engaging and entertaining story -- so often memoir lists too heavily to one or the other, but Boissier gets the balance just right. His readiness to peel away the scabs of his childhood pain make this at times a hard book to read, but the brutal honesty is what makes this a great book as well. Following the arc of Boissier's dysfunctional childhood and young adulthood is made ultimately very satisfying as he ultimately gains the higher ground as a strong and independent adult. I fervently hope that Boissier is busy drafting a sequel memoir about his adventures as the single dad of an adopted daughter and I am sure all of his fans are as well!
I highly recommend this engrossing and moving memoir.
I highly recommend this engrossing and moving memoir.
November 26, 2018
It was very touching, reading Sergei's story. I actually had (briefly) met him before reading it, so reading such details of his personal life was on the brink of voyeurism.
I love Sergei's easily flowing prose, which even felt like the words were reading themselves to me.
I know he's working on a second book, and I look forward to reading that as well.
I love Sergei's easily flowing prose, which even felt like the words were reading themselves to me.
I know he's working on a second book, and I look forward to reading that as well.
May 20, 2014
Very readable. You care about the author and appreciate his resilience.
February 21, 2020
Seemingly, Sergei Boissier's memoir is just an interesting read, a skillfully crafted page turner full of decadent images and peculiar characters viewed with sarcastic humor. At times, mind-boggling indeed, the book offers quite more, namely poignant observations on familial relations, conflicts, and flaws. As such, it is the author's exploration of self-worth and ultimately his passionate search for it.
How do you freely scrutinize the toxic past of hurt, rejection, and humiliation without falling into a trap of self-pity? How do you embrace a continual "blame-shame-and-complaint cycle that dysfunctional families revel in" and emerge liberated, comforted, and nurturing? What makes Damage Control especially graceful is the author's ensuing realization that forgiveness and unconditional love are the sole answer to the deepest of scars.
How do you freely scrutinize the toxic past of hurt, rejection, and humiliation without falling into a trap of self-pity? How do you embrace a continual "blame-shame-and-complaint cycle that dysfunctional families revel in" and emerge liberated, comforted, and nurturing? What makes Damage Control especially graceful is the author's ensuing realization that forgiveness and unconditional love are the sole answer to the deepest of scars.
June 10, 2024
This book made me feel pretty good about my parenting skills. But there's redemption in here too, and for that, well worth the read. I want a sequel and the insights, but am glad at least I can settle for the author's social media updates.
May 1, 2016
Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze, Sex, and My MotherThe protagonist of any good novel or memoir must grow and change, but the reader better be entertained and moved while that happens. Sergei Boissier achieves that and more in "Damage Control," his memoir of life with his grande dame of a mother Dollsie. A diva who lived life high on every level (homes, fashion, men, booze), she could have been ripped from the pages of "Valley of the Dolls." Unlike those dramatis personae cardboard cutouts, she was real and Boissier paints her in all her glory and pain as he takes readers on his full-tilt journey of mother love and hate: nascent gay boy adoration to teenage resentment to adult hate and loathing and finally to acceptance, understanding and love. His humor and honesty as he matures from an empty life of perusing sex and drugs to becoming a father heeding Dollsie’s lessons – good and bad – as she dies, does what all good books do: moves and entertains.
July 22, 2015
Was this self-published? It certainly didn't seem closely edited. Not only was the structure weak, there were typos. I think the story of a guy who hated his mother and punished her for it his entire life, only to learn to let go of it all and forgive her and himself as she dies, is beautiful and human. I like that he's able to extend some kindness and empathy toward her. But the book itself just isn't well written. I mean, I finished it, but I didn't need to.
March 31, 2016
I was very moved by Boissier's memoir about his life and relationships with his family. It shows what growing up lacking a mother's love can do to a child and later as an adult. An important book that deserves a while readership.
August 21, 2015
an engrossing memoir. The amazing wealth the author grew up in dulled the overall impact for me. would you rather have a rotten wealthy life or a rotten life in poverty?
May 18, 2015
it is easier to dream a life than build one. Choose life instead of self destruction
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews