The Virgin Snowman (Monster Romance/Horror SPOOF)

by P.C.K. Khouri

Monster Romance/Horror/Holiday Cheer SPOOF
18+
Content This is an adult monster romance/horror spoof featuring foul and offensive language, intimate scenes and violence.

A man with a carrot nose, bulging ice biceps, black coal eyes, and a burning desire to be touched...

Twenty-two-year-old New York magazine writer Natasha Gorbachalenko is assigned to write a story about the poverty, violence and lawlessness that has taken over her quaint, Hallmarkesque town of Roxbury, Minnesota. When a man made of snow, ice and everything nice unexpectedly appears, things become hot, heavy and complicated. What happens when Natasha discovers a horrifying secret of unimaginable magnitude about her new lover?

Find out in The Virgin Snowman!

65 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 4, 2024

Reviews

[Katarina · Rating 1 out of 5]

The question we all wonder while reading a book like this, “Will his c*ck give me frostbite?” Maybe, but it just might be worth the risk for this frisky frosty snowman. Overall, this book was garbage and problematic in multiple ways, but the comedic aspect of the book had me hooked. Had it not been filled with problematic viewpoints on people experiencing homelessness and racial/homophobic slurs I probably would have rated this weird murderous snowman smut higher, however it had some wildly unnecessary and problematic content woven into it and therefore it gets a garbage rating.
Also, there are only so many acceptable times that one can say “virgin hole” and I would say it happens 5 times too many..
anyways, worth the read for the discussion it sparked with my group BUT I won’t be recommending.

[Ooga Booga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best thing I’ve ever read

[Joscelyn]

0 stars. Funny one liners but too problematic and it's about a snowman fucking someone. 🙄🙄 I just wanted to read bad snowman puns smh

[Jackie · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.25

Wtf did I just read? How did the author pack like 10 different books into 65 pages? And I don't mean that as a compliment. I think this is the first smut book I've read that I was not able to keep a straight face. There was just so, SOOO much going on....

[Sherry Moyer · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a social critique on racism and classism in which deeper issues are…no. This is about a woman getting popsicled by Frosty the Snowman.

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

i can only blame myself for how piss off i am

[Anna J · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had so many hilarious, unhinged moments, but let’s start with this: the reviews claiming it’s “racist” and “homophobic” are completely wrong and over the top. The author appears to be criticizing performative social justice ideals. Better yet, he/she appears to be taking a jab at power hungry officials who hide behind the social justice label while doing zero meaningful work.

Moving on…My fav psychotic moments from this book:

-the protagonist’s ultra Christian dad walks in on her and the snowman (seriously, what the hell?!)
-the mayor’s twerk sesh in front of the press lollll
-the chlamydia scene

Everything made me giggle.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely disagree with the reviews claiming the book is “problematic.” First of all, it’s a smut parody, so there’s that. Secondly, the book is a critique of incompetent people in power who claim to be “inclusive” to hide their own prejudices and shortcomings. Regardless, I didn’t read the book for it’s social critique. I read it to laugh.

[Laura DeWitt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bad writing and bad jokes. Also, he claims he is a virgin, which maybe in this form his body was, but he did sleep with the mom years prior. Plus, she gets chlamydia from him. So yeah, this was just bad. Also, anti-winter solstice propaganda.

[Lena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had a crazy plot that also made me gasp, cheer for the protagonist and laugh hysterically.

[Sapphire J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny and weird. Never thought I would read about a psycho killer snowman.

[Jacquelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

umm what the fuck?

I’m so dumbfounded by this. Like what did I just read but not in a bad way. This is the second book of hers I read and I’m sure I’ll end up reading the rest 😂

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like trip on acid, I assume it’s like reading this book. Wild ride from start to finish. No complaints

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was.... weird 😂😂 very bad. but also a really good time. I dunno 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Amy Nunley · Rating 2 out of 5]

wait what?

I don’t know what I just read…it makes no sense. I don’t know what I was expecting but I do know that it wasn’t that!

[Dawn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was awful but it was the only book i found with a snowman on the cover for my winter bingo card! 🤣

[Len · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haha! The evil snowman gave the main character chlamydia. Didn’t see that coming!

[Lina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This hilarious book reminded me of a horror version of a Hallmark movie. Small town girl moves to New York and gets a job. She is then sent back to her hometown to write a story about it, except the town is not Hallmarkesque at all. It’s plagued with crime and poverty, all thanks to the do-nothing mayor who likes to twerk at her press conferences. Instead of the girl meeting her high school crush and rekindling a romance, she meets a snowman who quickly turns out to be way more nefarious than she ever imagined.

[Tart Aria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greatest holiday read of all time.