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Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul
Understanding Navigating the Path to Healing
Discover the healing power of heartfelt grieving by reading Grieving Wholeheartedly. In life's toughest moments, our emotions can feel like a storm at sea—conflicting waves of anger, sadness, and fear crashing together. But within these turbulent waters lies the potential for profound healing.
Audrey Davidheiser, a seasoned psychologist with expertise in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, will guides you through a compassionate exploration of your pain and grief. Instead of suppressing emotions, Grieving Wholeheartedly helps you understand and nurture each part of your soul, revealing the unique needs and burdens behind them.
Filled with practical exercises and soul-soothing insights, you'll learn aspects of the grieving and healing process
Gaining a deeper understanding of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it applies to emotional healing.Learning techniques to acknowledge and honor every emotion during the grieving process.Developing skills to transform overwhelming feelings into sources of strength and wisdom.Discovering practical exercises designed to foster emotional resilience and growth.Embracing a holistic approach to healing that nurtures both mind and spirit.Ideal for bereaved Christians, Grieving Wholeheartedly is a companion for anyone grappling with loss, offering a pathway to hope and renewal.
Discover the healing power of heartfelt grieving by reading Grieving Wholeheartedly. In life's toughest moments, our emotions can feel like a storm at sea—conflicting waves of anger, sadness, and fear crashing together. But within these turbulent waters lies the potential for profound healing.
Audrey Davidheiser, a seasoned psychologist with expertise in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, will guides you through a compassionate exploration of your pain and grief. Instead of suppressing emotions, Grieving Wholeheartedly helps you understand and nurture each part of your soul, revealing the unique needs and burdens behind them.
Filled with practical exercises and soul-soothing insights, you'll learn aspects of the grieving and healing process
Gaining a deeper understanding of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it applies to emotional healing.Learning techniques to acknowledge and honor every emotion during the grieving process.Developing skills to transform overwhelming feelings into sources of strength and wisdom.Discovering practical exercises designed to foster emotional resilience and growth.Embracing a holistic approach to healing that nurtures both mind and spirit.Ideal for bereaved Christians, Grieving Wholeheartedly is a companion for anyone grappling with loss, offering a pathway to hope and renewal.
208 pages, Paperback
Published July 15, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 17, 2025
I found Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul, written by Dr. Audrey Davidheiser, to be a well thought out and inspired book, bringing Internal Family Systems (IFS) to the topic of grief. The introduction made me eager to continue reading as the descriptions for sections and chapters to come were written to draw my attention forward. Audrey wrote in a way that was like sitting with her over tea.
I won’t innumerate the chapter contents by number, however I will share my impressions over the next few paragraphs that will encompass most of the chapters.
The beginning of the book was personal and touching while inclusive of all types of losses. My parts sighed when I read “you are free to mourn in your own way. The same goes for each part of your soul.” Additionally, beautiful examples from biblical characters illustrate how “out of character behaviors” can emerge when we are grieving and don’t recognize our grief. The exercise demonstrates how helpful it can be to recognize what is occurring internally.
Audrey goes on to give a lovely overview of IFS in layman terms most individuals can relate to. Again, she relates in a very personal conversational way presenting the material clearly. I also love Audrey’s confirmation that Self is a clear connection with God, allowing his “secrets of wisdom” to be available through us. My parts really liked her example of our body as holy temple and unburdening allows more space for Holy Spirit in us. What a wonderful motivation to engage with all of our parts!
Moving forward, Audrey shares an overview of scripture that reinforces the multiplicity inherent in our systems as designed by God. Audrey’s examples are beautiful and capture this concept fully. Her biblical knowledge is clearly demonstrated throughout the book.
Vulnerable personal sharing, that is heartbreaking, is presented throughout the text. This was relieving to me as her experiences mirrored my own sudden loss of a parent. She also shows such compassion and tenderness in her instructions or permission to go slow …. Wait …. allow time. This was an excellent example of parts exploration with respect for the needs of the parts to move at their own pace.
Audrey delves into more specific parts that may play a significant role in limiting access to grieving parts. Thinking and critical parts are very common managers and must be approached in respectful ways to demonstrate their value and allow access to more vulnerable grieving parts. This part of the book is an excellent review of these concepts.
She then provides a sensitive exploration of religious parts, which can be a difficult topic to address. Audrey uses a clear exploration of Job’s friend’s “parts” to highlight this concept. I particularly appreciate her addressing “because we are saved, we don’t need to grieve… (paraphrased)”. This can be very difficult for individuals who desire a deeper dive into the grief process rather than a bypass that often leaves grief unaddressed.
Firefighters, a difficult topic to address in normal circumstances, is addressed with care in the grief arena. Firefighters help us to check-out and not feel deep feelings that may be experienced as overwhelming thus limiting opportunity for healing and growth. Respecting these parts while also moving beyond them is essential. End of chapter exploration aids in this process.
Shock of unexpected loss is examined as a strong feature of grief. It complicates the process of grieving often leaving parts disoriented. The loose ends this creates cause both physical and emotional exhaustion. Audrey shares an example of her own IFS exploration in which she hears from her father – a dreamlike consciousness – who presents in a more emotionally rich way than he was able to in life. I had a similar experience in which my father asked me, in a dream, an emotionally complex question that he never would have been able to articulate during his lifetime. This brain revelation provided healing, knowing that if his parts had been unburdened during his life, this would have been the father I’d known.
Addressing the features of sadness and sorrow, Audrey dives into how the depth of the relationship lost mirrors the degree of our grief. For example, how many areas of life are impacted by the loss? She offers a poignant example of exploring parts that want to limit sad parts from expression and how to work with them.
As the book nears the end, Audrey explores anger and using that energy to fuel the grief journey in addition to an exploration of guilt and regret in the grief process. All instrumental to gain inner space for the Holy Spirit to enter and bring healing.
In each chapter, Audrey provides ways to dig a deeper into the topic using guided questions to explore and relate to our internal parts (dialogues). I would encourage the reader to take the time in a quiet space to explore these questions and learn about the inner dialogues that underpin the beliefs we walk through grief with. As these soften and more space is provided for the Holy Spirit to emerge into our soul, insights and wisdom will add to our healing and growth through our grief. I love this quote from Audrey – “the loss will etch your soul with a permanent mark”. Grief will change us. If we have courage and use this unwanted life event to look inside and learn about our parts affected by the loss, we can continue to move forward with new wisdom and knowledge that can then be used to Glorify God.
I hope you gain as much from this special book as I did….
I won’t innumerate the chapter contents by number, however I will share my impressions over the next few paragraphs that will encompass most of the chapters.
The beginning of the book was personal and touching while inclusive of all types of losses. My parts sighed when I read “you are free to mourn in your own way. The same goes for each part of your soul.” Additionally, beautiful examples from biblical characters illustrate how “out of character behaviors” can emerge when we are grieving and don’t recognize our grief. The exercise demonstrates how helpful it can be to recognize what is occurring internally.
Audrey goes on to give a lovely overview of IFS in layman terms most individuals can relate to. Again, she relates in a very personal conversational way presenting the material clearly. I also love Audrey’s confirmation that Self is a clear connection with God, allowing his “secrets of wisdom” to be available through us. My parts really liked her example of our body as holy temple and unburdening allows more space for Holy Spirit in us. What a wonderful motivation to engage with all of our parts!
Moving forward, Audrey shares an overview of scripture that reinforces the multiplicity inherent in our systems as designed by God. Audrey’s examples are beautiful and capture this concept fully. Her biblical knowledge is clearly demonstrated throughout the book.
Vulnerable personal sharing, that is heartbreaking, is presented throughout the text. This was relieving to me as her experiences mirrored my own sudden loss of a parent. She also shows such compassion and tenderness in her instructions or permission to go slow …. Wait …. allow time. This was an excellent example of parts exploration with respect for the needs of the parts to move at their own pace.
Audrey delves into more specific parts that may play a significant role in limiting access to grieving parts. Thinking and critical parts are very common managers and must be approached in respectful ways to demonstrate their value and allow access to more vulnerable grieving parts. This part of the book is an excellent review of these concepts.
She then provides a sensitive exploration of religious parts, which can be a difficult topic to address. Audrey uses a clear exploration of Job’s friend’s “parts” to highlight this concept. I particularly appreciate her addressing “because we are saved, we don’t need to grieve… (paraphrased)”. This can be very difficult for individuals who desire a deeper dive into the grief process rather than a bypass that often leaves grief unaddressed.
Firefighters, a difficult topic to address in normal circumstances, is addressed with care in the grief arena. Firefighters help us to check-out and not feel deep feelings that may be experienced as overwhelming thus limiting opportunity for healing and growth. Respecting these parts while also moving beyond them is essential. End of chapter exploration aids in this process.
Shock of unexpected loss is examined as a strong feature of grief. It complicates the process of grieving often leaving parts disoriented. The loose ends this creates cause both physical and emotional exhaustion. Audrey shares an example of her own IFS exploration in which she hears from her father – a dreamlike consciousness – who presents in a more emotionally rich way than he was able to in life. I had a similar experience in which my father asked me, in a dream, an emotionally complex question that he never would have been able to articulate during his lifetime. This brain revelation provided healing, knowing that if his parts had been unburdened during his life, this would have been the father I’d known.
Addressing the features of sadness and sorrow, Audrey dives into how the depth of the relationship lost mirrors the degree of our grief. For example, how many areas of life are impacted by the loss? She offers a poignant example of exploring parts that want to limit sad parts from expression and how to work with them.
As the book nears the end, Audrey explores anger and using that energy to fuel the grief journey in addition to an exploration of guilt and regret in the grief process. All instrumental to gain inner space for the Holy Spirit to enter and bring healing.
In each chapter, Audrey provides ways to dig a deeper into the topic using guided questions to explore and relate to our internal parts (dialogues). I would encourage the reader to take the time in a quiet space to explore these questions and learn about the inner dialogues that underpin the beliefs we walk through grief with. As these soften and more space is provided for the Holy Spirit to emerge into our soul, insights and wisdom will add to our healing and growth through our grief. I love this quote from Audrey – “the loss will etch your soul with a permanent mark”. Grief will change us. If we have courage and use this unwanted life event to look inside and learn about our parts affected by the loss, we can continue to move forward with new wisdom and knowledge that can then be used to Glorify God.
I hope you gain as much from this special book as I did….
December 25, 2025
Summary: Grieving well can lead to healing and hope as we make space for all our grieving parts to express themselves.
This may seem a strange post for Christmas Day. But most, perhaps all of us, will come to a Christmas holiday grieving a loss–a death, a divorce, or job loss or another kind of loss. And for some who are reading, that is where you are right now. Grieving evokes all kinds of thoughts and emotions at various points. Being able to express all of these is part of the process of healing.
But sometimes, we struggle to get it all out. Audrey Davidheiser, a trained counselor in Internal Family Systems (IFS), discovered this with when her father died suddenly. The counseling approach of IFS proved helpful in her own grief process. Basically, IFS recognizes that there are different parts of us, and they respond to grief differently. The purpose of this book is to help the grieving process their grief well through the insights of IFS.
The first part of the book discusses why we cannot avoid grieving and how important is processing our grief. This part also introduces IFS and shows how the idea of our having different “parts” is evident in the Bible.
The second part of the book seemed one of the most important to me. It explores our “protectors.” These parts may try to shield us from griefs. They may come in the form of critics who tell us we shouldn’t be wallowing in these emotions or “firefighters” that try to extinguish our pain. Davidheiser shows how to negotiate with and later, thank, these parts for letting us grieve. Because she writes for a primarily Christian audience, she also identifies “religious” parts that are protectors.
Then part three identifies some of the different grieving parts. These include shock, sorrow, anger, guilt fear, and loneliness/ Not all of these will be present for each person. She devotes a chapter to each and how we may help these parts safely express themselves.
Finally, she addresses the future. First she briefly touches on other parts not mentioned here. Then she explores how we address anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays, the times we often most acutely feel loss. She helps us to know what to expect and how to cope even if we have experienced a healthy grieving process.
Each chapter includes a “Dipping Inside” section in which you can invite different parts to speak and reflect. The author also references her own grieving experience in ways illustrative of different parts.
The one thing I wondered about is whether some people would have difficulties identifying parts, or understanding how protector parts might be hindering the expression of other parts. I would recommend that if you like this idea of parts and the Internal Family Systems approach, but find yourself either at an impasse or experiencing intense feelings you cannot resolve on your own, to seek out a counselor trained in this approach. The IFS Institute provides a directory (https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners) of certified IFS practitioners. In an emergency in the US, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or 911 for local emergency services.
We all will face grief at some point in our lives, if we haven’t already. Grieving is hard, but avoiding grief is worse. When we process grief well, it’s not that grief goes away, but we grow deeper and our life experience can be richer. Dr. Davidheiser’s approach recognizes the different dimensions or “parts” of grief, all which have their place and need to be honored and given expression. In so doing, we know and care for ourselves more deeply.
_______________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.
This may seem a strange post for Christmas Day. But most, perhaps all of us, will come to a Christmas holiday grieving a loss–a death, a divorce, or job loss or another kind of loss. And for some who are reading, that is where you are right now. Grieving evokes all kinds of thoughts and emotions at various points. Being able to express all of these is part of the process of healing.
But sometimes, we struggle to get it all out. Audrey Davidheiser, a trained counselor in Internal Family Systems (IFS), discovered this with when her father died suddenly. The counseling approach of IFS proved helpful in her own grief process. Basically, IFS recognizes that there are different parts of us, and they respond to grief differently. The purpose of this book is to help the grieving process their grief well through the insights of IFS.
The first part of the book discusses why we cannot avoid grieving and how important is processing our grief. This part also introduces IFS and shows how the idea of our having different “parts” is evident in the Bible.
The second part of the book seemed one of the most important to me. It explores our “protectors.” These parts may try to shield us from griefs. They may come in the form of critics who tell us we shouldn’t be wallowing in these emotions or “firefighters” that try to extinguish our pain. Davidheiser shows how to negotiate with and later, thank, these parts for letting us grieve. Because she writes for a primarily Christian audience, she also identifies “religious” parts that are protectors.
Then part three identifies some of the different grieving parts. These include shock, sorrow, anger, guilt fear, and loneliness/ Not all of these will be present for each person. She devotes a chapter to each and how we may help these parts safely express themselves.
Finally, she addresses the future. First she briefly touches on other parts not mentioned here. Then she explores how we address anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays, the times we often most acutely feel loss. She helps us to know what to expect and how to cope even if we have experienced a healthy grieving process.
Each chapter includes a “Dipping Inside” section in which you can invite different parts to speak and reflect. The author also references her own grieving experience in ways illustrative of different parts.
The one thing I wondered about is whether some people would have difficulties identifying parts, or understanding how protector parts might be hindering the expression of other parts. I would recommend that if you like this idea of parts and the Internal Family Systems approach, but find yourself either at an impasse or experiencing intense feelings you cannot resolve on your own, to seek out a counselor trained in this approach. The IFS Institute provides a directory (https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners) of certified IFS practitioners. In an emergency in the US, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or 911 for local emergency services.
We all will face grief at some point in our lives, if we haven’t already. Grieving is hard, but avoiding grief is worse. When we process grief well, it’s not that grief goes away, but we grow deeper and our life experience can be richer. Dr. Davidheiser’s approach recognizes the different dimensions or “parts” of grief, all which have their place and need to be honored and given expression. In so doing, we know and care for ourselves more deeply.
_______________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.
July 11, 2025
I was excited to read about this topic and more excited to find out that it was from a Christian POV.
I found some parts were full of compassion and very relatable. The author spoke a lot about her personal experience with grieving a loved one and how it can instantly change your world.
However, I found the overall IFS model to be distracting from my core belief that Christ is at the center, especially in grief. The model seems to oversimplify and compartmentalize the human mind into different parts, even citing scripture about loving God with your mind, body, and soul (the origin of where this theory of parts come from).
But, we are far more complex than a sum of “parts.” And the gospel is far more powerful than us feeling and speaking to our “parts.” Yes, there is a time and place to sit with our feelings before the Lord. But coming to terms with our feelings is not where our hope comes from. Not within our own selves. Grief, sorrow, lament are real things Christ personally experienced for us. And we have hope because of Him. That was not what this book was about.
“The part felt helped, but it also needs more time with me.”
“Let the part know you can schedule another visit with it, but we also need to keep the ten-minute agreement. Ask your part if it needs anything else from you.”
After checking with the part, Jesse reported, “it said, Don’t judge me for being emotional even though Granny died a long time ago.”
To me, this is concerning bc people who are grieving and wanting to read and find comfort during vulnerable times may be misled. The advice is IFS therapist heavy so it relies a lot on the therapist for you to process your grief.
Overall, this was not for me.
I found some parts were full of compassion and very relatable. The author spoke a lot about her personal experience with grieving a loved one and how it can instantly change your world.
However, I found the overall IFS model to be distracting from my core belief that Christ is at the center, especially in grief. The model seems to oversimplify and compartmentalize the human mind into different parts, even citing scripture about loving God with your mind, body, and soul (the origin of where this theory of parts come from).
But, we are far more complex than a sum of “parts.” And the gospel is far more powerful than us feeling and speaking to our “parts.” Yes, there is a time and place to sit with our feelings before the Lord. But coming to terms with our feelings is not where our hope comes from. Not within our own selves. Grief, sorrow, lament are real things Christ personally experienced for us. And we have hope because of Him. That was not what this book was about.
“The part felt helped, but it also needs more time with me.”
“Let the part know you can schedule another visit with it, but we also need to keep the ten-minute agreement. Ask your part if it needs anything else from you.”
After checking with the part, Jesse reported, “it said, Don’t judge me for being emotional even though Granny died a long time ago.”
To me, this is concerning bc people who are grieving and wanting to read and find comfort during vulnerable times may be misled. The advice is IFS therapist heavy so it relies a lot on the therapist for you to process your grief.
Overall, this was not for me.
July 10, 2025
We all have been or will at some point be hit broadside with grief in our lives. But most of us struggle with how to work through our grief in such a way that leaves us whole in body and soul. In Grieving Wholeheartedly,Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul (#GrievingWholeheartedly #NetGalley) Dr. Audrey Davidheiser leads the reader along the journey of understanding the complexities of grief, and how the parts of our souls and their various functions work together in the grieving process.
Dr. Davidheiser describes how the wholistic approach of IFS (Internal Family Systems) can "tease apart one emotion from the next." She applies the deep truths of Scripture and her own journey through grief with effective exercises for the reader to work through. Dr. Davidheiser's clear understanding of Scripture and her own deep faith in Christ gave me new insights into my own soul. I had never before considered that my inner self had parts that can be befriended and understood. Even if one is not currently dealing with his own loss, the reader will acquire tools that will enable him to walk alongside someone who is.
Dr. Davidheiser describes how the wholistic approach of IFS (Internal Family Systems) can "tease apart one emotion from the next." She applies the deep truths of Scripture and her own journey through grief with effective exercises for the reader to work through. Dr. Davidheiser's clear understanding of Scripture and her own deep faith in Christ gave me new insights into my own soul. I had never before considered that my inner self had parts that can be befriended and understood. Even if one is not currently dealing with his own loss, the reader will acquire tools that will enable him to walk alongside someone who is.
July 18, 2025
Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul, is a great complement to one's healing journey from grief of any nature. Dr. Davidheiser does a wonderful job explaining the different variables of grief and the complexities it presents to one in their healing. She correlates the Internal Family Systems approach (IFS) and shows how our "parts" can impact how we see grief, process grief, and heal. The author does a great job incorporating scripture in her understanding of the grief process and how we can better learn, absorb, and heal from grief in our lives. Overall, this book is a great blend of the understanding of grief from an IFS system approach and is unique in its offerings to the reader by giving them a new way to approach healing from a grief journey. Thank you to NetGalley and IVP Press for the advanced review copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
October 15, 2025
Audrey Davidheiser's work Grieving Wholeheartedly really melds IFS (Internal Family Systems) with grief in a way I haven't seen before. I am aware of both grief as well as IFS, but this really brings to light a way of walking through the grieving process and honoring your internal landscape in a way that is just right and manageable to do on your own. I think the chapter on Anger and Rage really struck out to me, as this helped me piece together some things I've learned from other books and authors in a way that feels settled and right, as most people touch on this subject but don't really dive in as to what to do or why it is the way it is. I commend her for her work and will be adding this one to my own personal library for future use. Thanks and highly recommend.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
July 21, 2025
As someone who has experienced intense grief when my son died at the age of 30, I understand how grief can rip your heart out. I wish I'd had this book then. It took me years to understand how losing my dad and my son within weeks affected my outlook on life. I highly recommend this book for anyone experiencing grief and loss, whether the death of a loved one, loss of a marriage, job loss, or any other emotionally crippling loss.
July 21, 2025
As someone who has experienced intense grief when my son died at the age of 30, I understand how grief can rip your heart out. I wish I'd had this book then. It took me years to understand how losing my dad and my son within weeks affected my outlook on life. I highly recommend this book for anyone experiencing grief and loss, whether the death of a loved one, loss of a marriage, job loss, or any other emotionally crippling loss.
August 20, 2025
Interesting. Some of it seems intuitive.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews