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Trauma and Ecstasy: How Psychedelics Made My Life Worth Living
Forget everything you think you know about psychedelics. They’re not punchlines. They’re not party favors for aging hippies. Instead, as Alex Abraham discovered, they are an innovative approach that can help heal trauma and chronic pain.
Trauma and Ecstasy takes a long, hard look at pain, from the sudden unexplained pelvic floor discomfort that afflicted Alex at the end of a trip abroad to the deeply rooted anxiety and shame of a childhood robbed of innocence. In this powerful and courageous memoir, Alex takes you on his journey of healing from sexual abuse while searching for answers to his health issues that traditional medicine failed to explain or treat.
Trauma and Ecstasy is quite likely the most engaging, honest, and compelling memoir of surviving childhood sexual trauma you’ll ever read. It offers the hope of real help for healing from the emotional and physical aftermath of abuse and chronic pain.
Trauma and Ecstasy takes a long, hard look at pain, from the sudden unexplained pelvic floor discomfort that afflicted Alex at the end of a trip abroad to the deeply rooted anxiety and shame of a childhood robbed of innocence. In this powerful and courageous memoir, Alex takes you on his journey of healing from sexual abuse while searching for answers to his health issues that traditional medicine failed to explain or treat.
Trauma and Ecstasy is quite likely the most engaging, honest, and compelling memoir of surviving childhood sexual trauma you’ll ever read. It offers the hope of real help for healing from the emotional and physical aftermath of abuse and chronic pain.
204 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 3, 2024
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3247 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
January 16, 2025
This was a tough read, but such an important one. I can’t begin to wrap my head around the trauma Alex endured—his vivid and raw recollections brought me to tears. It takes so much courage to speak out against your abuser, and I admire him for doing it so publicly.
What really stood out to me was how he was able to sit in his pain and keep pushing himself to dig deeper. His writing was so immersive I felt like I was sitting right there with him during his sessions, experiencing it alongside him.
Trauma, repressed memories, SSRIs, and struggling to find real help are things I am unfortunately very familiar with. Before this, I’d never even heard of psychedelic therapy, much less thought about it as an option. Just knowing it exists is huge. It might not be for everyone, but I know it could help so many.
As a veteran, I feel strongly that more vets need to hear about this. The VA is often quick to throw pills at us and offer surface-level talk therapy, leaving many of us feeling abandoned by the system. It’s frustrating and disheartening, and too many veterans simply give up on seeking help. Psychedelic therapy could be a game-changer for so many in our community.
I’ll be recommending this book to my friends, especially other vets. Alex’s story carries such an important message, and I hope psychedelic therapy becomes more widely known and accepted over time.
Thank you for sharing your story, Alex. It couldn’t have been easy, but it’s going to make a difference.
Thank you for this ARC provided by Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op.
What really stood out to me was how he was able to sit in his pain and keep pushing himself to dig deeper. His writing was so immersive I felt like I was sitting right there with him during his sessions, experiencing it alongside him.
Trauma, repressed memories, SSRIs, and struggling to find real help are things I am unfortunately very familiar with. Before this, I’d never even heard of psychedelic therapy, much less thought about it as an option. Just knowing it exists is huge. It might not be for everyone, but I know it could help so many.
As a veteran, I feel strongly that more vets need to hear about this. The VA is often quick to throw pills at us and offer surface-level talk therapy, leaving many of us feeling abandoned by the system. It’s frustrating and disheartening, and too many veterans simply give up on seeking help. Psychedelic therapy could be a game-changer for so many in our community.
I’ll be recommending this book to my friends, especially other vets. Alex’s story carries such an important message, and I hope psychedelic therapy becomes more widely known and accepted over time.
Thank you for sharing your story, Alex. It couldn’t have been easy, but it’s going to make a difference.
Thank you for this ARC provided by Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op.
March 7, 2025
This book is so important. For sexual abuse victims, for anyone with physical trauma, for psychologists and psychiatrists, for doctors, for neuroscientists, for people interested in psychedelic therapy. Alex’s story is heartbreaking and frustrating and incredible, and the world needs to hear it and understand it.
Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a free ARC of this book.
Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a free ARC of this book.
December 4, 2024
This is a heartfelt memoir that blends vulnerability with hope. The author shares their journey through trauma, highlighting the struggles of navigating traditional therapies and the eventual healing found through psychedelics. With honesty and introspection, the book delves into both the pain and transformative power of these experiences, offering a thought provoking and vulnerable perspective.
January 1, 2025
Alex Abraham's Trauma and Ecstasy is a profoundly moving and courageous memoir that shines a light on the transformative power of psychedelic-assisted therapy in healing deep-seated trauma. With unflinching honesty, Abraham recounts his journey of uncovering and addressing the abuse that shaped his life, a path that traditional therapies and medical approaches had failed to navigate effectively.
The book is raw and emotional, laying bare the pain of childhood abuse and the complex aftermath it leaves on one's mental and physical well-being. Abraham’s writing is both vulnerable and powerful, making the reader feel every moment of despair, frustration, and, ultimately, hope. His detailed exploration of psychedelic therapy offers an insightful and accessible introduction to this emerging field, making the book not only a memoir but also a guide for others seeking alternative healing methods.
One of the most striking aspects of Trauma and Ecstasy is the humanity and resilience Abraham conveys. His willingness to share the darkest moments of his life—and the courage it took to confront them—is inspiring. While the subject matter is undeniably difficult, it is also an essential narrative for those who have experienced trauma and are searching for a path forward.
The book also critiques the medical and societal systems that often fail abuse survivors, highlighting the dismissiveness and inadequacies Abraham encountered along the way. However, it is not without hope: the memoir leaves readers with a sense of possibility and the belief that even the deepest wounds can begin to heal with the right tools and support.
Final Thoughts:
Trauma and Ecstasy is not an easy read, but it is an essential one. Abraham's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential of alternative therapies to bring healing where traditional methods fall short. This book will resonate deeply with those who have faced trauma and those curious about the potential of psychedelics in therapy.
Thank you to the author for the bravery it took to share this story, and for providing hope to others who may find solace and inspiration in these pages.
The book is raw and emotional, laying bare the pain of childhood abuse and the complex aftermath it leaves on one's mental and physical well-being. Abraham’s writing is both vulnerable and powerful, making the reader feel every moment of despair, frustration, and, ultimately, hope. His detailed exploration of psychedelic therapy offers an insightful and accessible introduction to this emerging field, making the book not only a memoir but also a guide for others seeking alternative healing methods.
One of the most striking aspects of Trauma and Ecstasy is the humanity and resilience Abraham conveys. His willingness to share the darkest moments of his life—and the courage it took to confront them—is inspiring. While the subject matter is undeniably difficult, it is also an essential narrative for those who have experienced trauma and are searching for a path forward.
The book also critiques the medical and societal systems that often fail abuse survivors, highlighting the dismissiveness and inadequacies Abraham encountered along the way. However, it is not without hope: the memoir leaves readers with a sense of possibility and the belief that even the deepest wounds can begin to heal with the right tools and support.
Final Thoughts:
Trauma and Ecstasy is not an easy read, but it is an essential one. Abraham's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential of alternative therapies to bring healing where traditional methods fall short. This book will resonate deeply with those who have faced trauma and those curious about the potential of psychedelics in therapy.
Thank you to the author for the bravery it took to share this story, and for providing hope to others who may find solace and inspiration in these pages.
December 2, 2024
Trauma and Ecstasy is a courageous book and I am glad the author chose to write this book to share with others about what happened to him and how he was able to start the healing process. The book is raw and emotional, making it a tough read at times, but it is also inspiring and shows a true test of resilience. It is an important read for anyone who has endured trauma and is looking for new alternatives to heal.
May 11, 2025
Book Review: Trauma and Ecstasy: How Psychedelics Made My Life Worth Living by Alex Abraham
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.5/5)
Overview
Alex Abraham’s Trauma and Ecstasy is a groundbreaking memoir that intertwines personal trauma recovery with a rigorous exploration of psychedelic therapy. The book documents Abraham’s journey from surviving childhood sexual abuse and debilitating health crises to finding transformative healing through psychedelics like psilocybin, MDMA, and ayahuasca. Blending raw autobiography with incisive commentary on mental health paradigms, Abraham challenges stigma while advocating for the responsible integration of psychedelics into therapeutic practice.
Strengths
Unflinching Vulnerability: Abraham’s prose is visceral and intimate, particularly in depicting the somatic and psychological toll of trauma. His descriptions of dissociation, chronic pain, and suicidal ideation are harrowing yet purposeful—anchoring the narrative in a lived reality that defies clinical abstraction.
Psychedelics as Catalysts for Healing: The memoir excels in demystifying psychedelic experiences without romanticizing them. Abraham details sessions with striking clarity, distinguishing between “ecstatic” breakthroughs (e.g., ego dissolution, ancestral visions) and the grueling emotional labor of integration. His nuanced take on set/setting and therapeutic guidance underscores psychedelics’ potential as tools—not panaceas.
Critique of Conventional Psychiatry: Abraham’s frustration with SSRIs, misdiagnoses, and institutional gaslighting mirrors broader systemic critiques. His turn to psychedelics emerges as both rebellion and necessity, offering a compelling case for paradigm shifts in trauma treatment.
Interdisciplinary Resonance: The book bridges memoir, medical advocacy, and social critique. Themes like neuroplasticity, the mind-body connection, and the ethics of self-experimentation will engage readers across psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy.
Limitations
Narrative Pacing: Early chapters occasionally linger on cyclical suffering, which, while authentic, risk overwhelming readers before the transformative arc begins. A tighter structural balance could amplify emotional impact.
Limited Clinical Context: Though Abraham acknowledges risks (e.g., bad trips, contraindications), deeper engagement with clinical trials or harm-reduction frameworks (e.g., screening protocols, integration therapy models) would strengthen the book’s academic rigor.
Cultural Perspectives Absent: The memoir focuses on Western therapeutic contexts, sidestepping Indigenous traditions or global inequities in psychedelic access—a missed opportunity for intersectional analysis.
Theoretical and Practical Contributions
Trauma Theory: Abraham’s journey illustrates Bessel van der Kolk’s premise that trauma “lives in the body,” with psychedelics acting as accelerants for somatic release and narrative reconstruction.
Mental Health Advocacy: The book humanizes the failures of biomedical models while modeling patient-led healing, resonating with movements for psychedelic decriminalization and trauma-informed care.
Ethical Considerations: Abraham’s candidness about relapse, dependency fears, and the limits of psychedelics provides crucial counterpoints to over-optimistic media narratives.
Conclusion
Trauma and Ecstasy is a vital addition to the canon of psychedelic literature and trauma memoirs. While its intense subjectivity and occasional gaps in scholarly framing prevent a perfect score, Abraham’s courage and analytical depth make this essential reading for clinicians, survivors, and policymakers alike. The book’s greatest achievement lies in its refusal to reduce healing to a linear arc—instead honoring the messy, nonlinear alchemy of pain and transcendence.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to NetGalley and Alex Abraham for providing an advance review copy. This access enabled a thorough engagement with a work that bridges personal catharsis and public discourse on mental health innovation.
Final Verdict
A luminous, challenging, and ultimately hopeful testament to the power of psychedelics—and human resilience—to rewrite life after trauma.
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.5/5)
Overview
Alex Abraham’s Trauma and Ecstasy is a groundbreaking memoir that intertwines personal trauma recovery with a rigorous exploration of psychedelic therapy. The book documents Abraham’s journey from surviving childhood sexual abuse and debilitating health crises to finding transformative healing through psychedelics like psilocybin, MDMA, and ayahuasca. Blending raw autobiography with incisive commentary on mental health paradigms, Abraham challenges stigma while advocating for the responsible integration of psychedelics into therapeutic practice.
Strengths
Unflinching Vulnerability: Abraham’s prose is visceral and intimate, particularly in depicting the somatic and psychological toll of trauma. His descriptions of dissociation, chronic pain, and suicidal ideation are harrowing yet purposeful—anchoring the narrative in a lived reality that defies clinical abstraction.
Psychedelics as Catalysts for Healing: The memoir excels in demystifying psychedelic experiences without romanticizing them. Abraham details sessions with striking clarity, distinguishing between “ecstatic” breakthroughs (e.g., ego dissolution, ancestral visions) and the grueling emotional labor of integration. His nuanced take on set/setting and therapeutic guidance underscores psychedelics’ potential as tools—not panaceas.
Critique of Conventional Psychiatry: Abraham’s frustration with SSRIs, misdiagnoses, and institutional gaslighting mirrors broader systemic critiques. His turn to psychedelics emerges as both rebellion and necessity, offering a compelling case for paradigm shifts in trauma treatment.
Interdisciplinary Resonance: The book bridges memoir, medical advocacy, and social critique. Themes like neuroplasticity, the mind-body connection, and the ethics of self-experimentation will engage readers across psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy.
Limitations
Narrative Pacing: Early chapters occasionally linger on cyclical suffering, which, while authentic, risk overwhelming readers before the transformative arc begins. A tighter structural balance could amplify emotional impact.
Limited Clinical Context: Though Abraham acknowledges risks (e.g., bad trips, contraindications), deeper engagement with clinical trials or harm-reduction frameworks (e.g., screening protocols, integration therapy models) would strengthen the book’s academic rigor.
Cultural Perspectives Absent: The memoir focuses on Western therapeutic contexts, sidestepping Indigenous traditions or global inequities in psychedelic access—a missed opportunity for intersectional analysis.
Theoretical and Practical Contributions
Trauma Theory: Abraham’s journey illustrates Bessel van der Kolk’s premise that trauma “lives in the body,” with psychedelics acting as accelerants for somatic release and narrative reconstruction.
Mental Health Advocacy: The book humanizes the failures of biomedical models while modeling patient-led healing, resonating with movements for psychedelic decriminalization and trauma-informed care.
Ethical Considerations: Abraham’s candidness about relapse, dependency fears, and the limits of psychedelics provides crucial counterpoints to over-optimistic media narratives.
Conclusion
Trauma and Ecstasy is a vital addition to the canon of psychedelic literature and trauma memoirs. While its intense subjectivity and occasional gaps in scholarly framing prevent a perfect score, Abraham’s courage and analytical depth make this essential reading for clinicians, survivors, and policymakers alike. The book’s greatest achievement lies in its refusal to reduce healing to a linear arc—instead honoring the messy, nonlinear alchemy of pain and transcendence.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to NetGalley and Alex Abraham for providing an advance review copy. This access enabled a thorough engagement with a work that bridges personal catharsis and public discourse on mental health innovation.
Final Verdict
A luminous, challenging, and ultimately hopeful testament to the power of psychedelics—and human resilience—to rewrite life after trauma.
January 20, 2025
"Trauma and Ecstasy" is an imperfect yet necessary book on recovery from sexual abuse with the help of psychedelics. It’s necessary because it’s written by a layperson survivor who gives readers an immediate window into the world of abuse, its aftermath, and the author’s quest for healing.
It’s imperfect, first and foremost, because the process he describes is not psychedelic-assisted therapy or psychedelic therapy at all; in my view, the author was hurt by at least one of his guides, who abandoned him while he was still on the medicine.
No one seeking treatment or healing in the underground should schedule a psychedelic session at a first meeting with a therapist or guide. Build trust, follow your gut feelings, and only then commit to something as deep and potentially re-traumatizing as that kind of work.
Integration and ongoing support are just as important as sessions with the medicine—and should be provided by a qualified therapist trained to work with projections and transferences. The latter is crucial for the psychedelic guide as well—he or she should know better than to take personally the things that arise in the sessions. It’s not enough to be well-meaning or strive to be good: even the author’s best guide was uncomfortable with Alex’s rage and negativity toward her, and couldn’t maintain the non-judgmental, loving presence essential for this work.
I also need to warn readers that parts of the book are extremely graphic and can be re-traumatizing for some. I acknowledge the importance of the author putting his experience into words, but proceed with caution.
Still, the best evidence of this narrative’s power is that, after undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy myself—following some 30+ years of denying my own sexual abuse—I finally came out to my friends and men’s group after reading this book. That felt right and was hugely liberating. I wish author the fullest possible recovery and hope that justice is to be served. Thanks, Alex!
It’s imperfect, first and foremost, because the process he describes is not psychedelic-assisted therapy or psychedelic therapy at all; in my view, the author was hurt by at least one of his guides, who abandoned him while he was still on the medicine.
No one seeking treatment or healing in the underground should schedule a psychedelic session at a first meeting with a therapist or guide. Build trust, follow your gut feelings, and only then commit to something as deep and potentially re-traumatizing as that kind of work.
Integration and ongoing support are just as important as sessions with the medicine—and should be provided by a qualified therapist trained to work with projections and transferences. The latter is crucial for the psychedelic guide as well—he or she should know better than to take personally the things that arise in the sessions. It’s not enough to be well-meaning or strive to be good: even the author’s best guide was uncomfortable with Alex’s rage and negativity toward her, and couldn’t maintain the non-judgmental, loving presence essential for this work.
I also need to warn readers that parts of the book are extremely graphic and can be re-traumatizing for some. I acknowledge the importance of the author putting his experience into words, but proceed with caution.
Still, the best evidence of this narrative’s power is that, after undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy myself—following some 30+ years of denying my own sexual abuse—I finally came out to my friends and men’s group after reading this book. That felt right and was hugely liberating. I wish author the fullest possible recovery and hope that justice is to be served. Thanks, Alex!
December 3, 2024
Trauma and Ecstasy is one of the most moving and transformative books I’ve ever read. Alex Abraham shares his story with such honesty and courage that it’s impossible not to be deeply affected. He dives into the trauma stored in his body — pain that he only fully understood and confronted as an adult — and shows how psychedelic-assisted therapy helped him begin to heal when traditional medicine fell short.
I’ve read a lot about this field, and this is hands down the best explanation I’ve seen of what these therapies can do. Alex’s writing is raw and unfiltered, which makes it both powerful and relatable. It’s not just a story about his past; it’s about the hope of finding real solutions for trauma and chronic pain.
What struck me most is the sheer courage it took for Alex to write this book. Sharing something this personal and painful takes more bravery, in my opinion, than writing a memoir about warfare or mountain climbing. I hope this book not only helps others who’ve faced similar challenges but also moves the conversation forward in the mental health and trauma space.
If you’re looking for a story that’s honest and genuinely inspiring, I can’t recommend Trauma and Ecstasy enough.
I’ve read a lot about this field, and this is hands down the best explanation I’ve seen of what these therapies can do. Alex’s writing is raw and unfiltered, which makes it both powerful and relatable. It’s not just a story about his past; it’s about the hope of finding real solutions for trauma and chronic pain.
What struck me most is the sheer courage it took for Alex to write this book. Sharing something this personal and painful takes more bravery, in my opinion, than writing a memoir about warfare or mountain climbing. I hope this book not only helps others who’ve faced similar challenges but also moves the conversation forward in the mental health and trauma space.
If you’re looking for a story that’s honest and genuinely inspiring, I can’t recommend Trauma and Ecstasy enough.
March 21, 2025
I started a new Goodreads account (couldn’t login to the old one) just so I could review this book. A few minutes of my time well worth it to help promote and advocate for this amazing vulnerable offering! Not very often I get sucked into a book like this. Alex does what I don’t know if a lot of people can do, and that’s speak authentically. His style reminds me of Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like a Woman. They speak like how my friends and I do. It is refreshing and needed, in my humble opinion. I really appreciate this book for many reasons but mostly I wanted to acknowledge and celebrate the vulnerability and strength that’s behind it. As a counselor who works with complex trauma, and as someone very psychedelic friendly, we deal with heavy subject matter, and while this was some very real shit, it was hopeful, honest, and covered so much about utilizing psychedelics (the good the bad the ugly), that I consider it an excellent resource to the right readers. Well done Alex!! Thank you so much for everything!
January 6, 2025
How do you rate someone’s life and traumatic story? Alex is incredibly brave and courageous to share his story publicly. I so admire his relentless work and desire to help himself and to not take a victim mentality approach. Admittedly, it was nauseating to read some of the chapters detailing his CSA experiences however, I can imagine and appreciate how writing them was probably extremely healing for him. I loved getting a front row seat to watching his relationship develop with his trip facilitator and I’m so happy that he found the perfect person(s) to help him on his journey.
“Because love is also a core part of the human experience. And neither love nor psychedelics are going anywhere”
“Because love is also a core part of the human experience. And neither love nor psychedelics are going anywhere”
April 13, 2025
Honestly I went into this book blind. I saw the title and that it was about psychedelics and their assistance with working through trauma, which is something I had read about before and added it to my TBR. I expected it to focus on how the psychedelics work in conjunction with therapy, but the main focus was on the authors childhood abuse. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I just wasn't expecting it.
Alex Abraham does not sugar coat what he went through. I wanted to cry and felt sick reading what had happened to him. This book is not for everyone. His memoir was heart breaking, but reading about how he is working to overcome everything is inspiring.
Alex Abraham does not sugar coat what he went through. I wanted to cry and felt sick reading what had happened to him. This book is not for everyone. His memoir was heart breaking, but reading about how he is working to overcome everything is inspiring.
November 20, 2024
Trauma and Ecstasy is a must read for many different audiences. The book is well written and delivers a blunt road map for an alternative approach to healing from trauma, specifically for unrealized sources of pain. As a mom of older boys, I couldn’t put this book down. It hooked me immediately identifying with the voice of this young man just beginning his life as an adult.
Childhood is both magical in moments, and unfortunately so overwhelming at times. Tragically, all of us have those moments of despair, silently taking on scars that will follow us and impact our choices throughout our journey. I believe that in telling his story, Alex Abraham has pulled back the curtain on his life, allowing his readers to see how this new emerging opportunity for therapeutic healing can work. While we hear more about the medicinal value of mushrooms and things like microdosing, I had no idea how it worked and now I do. One of my favorite elements of this story is when his mom devoted her time and attention to Alex’s care and ultimately engaged personally to experience a session herself to better understand her son’s reality.
The subject matter of Trauma and Ecstasy is difficult, I often found myself crying as I flipped the page. Much of it is absolutely terrifying, but this is an important story that needs to be told and heard. The family didn’t willingly let a monster through the front door, he sneaked inside their home and stole what was most precious to their child; innocence, trust, peace, health, joy, understanding and intimacy. I pray for the next book and a story of justice as Alex deserves to see his monster caged. Until then, his courage and strength will serve as a beacon of hope that there can be healing, and he is using his trauma to save other lives and change the world in terms of treatment and care.
Childhood is both magical in moments, and unfortunately so overwhelming at times. Tragically, all of us have those moments of despair, silently taking on scars that will follow us and impact our choices throughout our journey. I believe that in telling his story, Alex Abraham has pulled back the curtain on his life, allowing his readers to see how this new emerging opportunity for therapeutic healing can work. While we hear more about the medicinal value of mushrooms and things like microdosing, I had no idea how it worked and now I do. One of my favorite elements of this story is when his mom devoted her time and attention to Alex’s care and ultimately engaged personally to experience a session herself to better understand her son’s reality.
The subject matter of Trauma and Ecstasy is difficult, I often found myself crying as I flipped the page. Much of it is absolutely terrifying, but this is an important story that needs to be told and heard. The family didn’t willingly let a monster through the front door, he sneaked inside their home and stole what was most precious to their child; innocence, trust, peace, health, joy, understanding and intimacy. I pray for the next book and a story of justice as Alex deserves to see his monster caged. Until then, his courage and strength will serve as a beacon of hope that there can be healing, and he is using his trauma to save other lives and change the world in terms of treatment and care.
January 13, 2025
Extremely moving and personally helpful. Hard to read at times. Truthful and healing book!!
After reading this incredible book I feel that Maybe now I can help my husband heal from the abuse he suffered as a child! He was beaten by his step dad when he was in grade school . Beaten with boards and cow belts. Left hanging upside down in the hay loft and many other things. Now, as a 70 year old man the hurt is coming out in words more than actions. Before his anger caused our marriage to become so bad that we divorced but never stopped loving and are now re married. After reading this book I feel so sad for him and feel now I will know better how to comfort him as he talks about it and cries over the hurt that has been inside of him for 70 years.
After reading this incredible book I feel that Maybe now I can help my husband heal from the abuse he suffered as a child! He was beaten by his step dad when he was in grade school . Beaten with boards and cow belts. Left hanging upside down in the hay loft and many other things. Now, as a 70 year old man the hurt is coming out in words more than actions. Before his anger caused our marriage to become so bad that we divorced but never stopped loving and are now re married. After reading this book I feel so sad for him and feel now I will know better how to comfort him as he talks about it and cries over the hurt that has been inside of him for 70 years.
December 4, 2024
A must read for parents
Very important read. We don’t always know that there are things we don’t know. Life isn’t always as we perceive. This book provides the raw facts on life and healing. We should not shy away from tough moments (tough may be an understatement here.) I hope Alex’s journey supports others in similar situations.
Very important read. We don’t always know that there are things we don’t know. Life isn’t always as we perceive. This book provides the raw facts on life and healing. We should not shy away from tough moments (tough may be an understatement here.) I hope Alex’s journey supports others in similar situations.
March 19, 2025
A compassionate exploration of psychedelics in processing trauma
Alex Abraham's memoir, "Trauma and Ecstasy," explores the ways sexual trauma impacts the mind and body, and how psychedelics can assist in the healing process. Alex approaches the subject with introspection and compassion for himself. The photos really bring his story to life, humanizing the little boy who was holding onto so much pain. I highly recommend this book.
Alex Abraham's memoir, "Trauma and Ecstasy," explores the ways sexual trauma impacts the mind and body, and how psychedelics can assist in the healing process. Alex approaches the subject with introspection and compassion for himself. The photos really bring his story to life, humanizing the little boy who was holding onto so much pain. I highly recommend this book.
March 3, 2025
No other book I’ve read has helped me deal with repressed memories like this book has.
December 25, 2024
“… but it is what you or anyone else chooses to do with their wounds after they turn to scars that counts.” - K
December 1, 2024
I was glued to this book from beginning to end. A must read!
November 20, 2024
“Trauma and Ecstasy" is a harrowing and courageous memoir of childhood abuse, rediscovered through psychedelics and therapy. The book begins with a brutally honest description of insecure feelings of inadequacy and a frustrating inability to remedy mystery ailments. Through countless, futile doctor's visits, the author had all but given up hope until a shot in the dark, inspired by Tucker Max of all people, led him to a journey of self-discovery and healing. Prior to reading "Trauma and Ecstasy", I was certainly skeptical of psychedelics, a casual Joe Rogan listener, I always assumed it was kind of nonsense pseudo-science, however the results and progress that the author experiences are compelling. While his discovery uncovers a tremendous amount of trauma, retold in highly descriptive prose, the book left me with a feeling of hope and insight. Alex's writing style is very relatable and readable. While the story lacks complete resolution, I am hopeful our brave narrator has found some peace in offering his story and being there to help others.
November 24, 2024
The book is a raw tale that honestly tells the story of childhood sexual abuse and all the effects it has on someone’s life. It touches upon how helpless and dare I say useless (definitely dismissive) medical professionals can be, how psychedelics can help heal and how society and the systems in place make very hard to catch and hold abusers accountable.
It is well written. I finished it in a day. I bought it friends who suffered from abuse as a gift. Kudos to the author for the courage and bringing his difficult story to life. I hope it stops and prevents the same from happening to other children.
It is well written. I finished it in a day. I bought it friends who suffered from abuse as a gift. Kudos to the author for the courage and bringing his difficult story to life. I hope it stops and prevents the same from happening to other children.
November 20, 2024
This was the best book I read all year. No kidding. It was challenging, uncomfortable and inspiring beyond words.
I had no idea what to expect when I started it. But the way Alex writes transported me to his sessions with Katrina. I was able to feel a tiny fraction of the pain he felt and a deep sense of empathy for what he went through. I just couldn’t put the book down and finished it in a week.
Definitely worth the read.
I had no idea what to expect when I started it. But the way Alex writes transported me to his sessions with Katrina. I was able to feel a tiny fraction of the pain he felt and a deep sense of empathy for what he went through. I just couldn’t put the book down and finished it in a week.
Definitely worth the read.
November 20, 2024
This book tells the story of a brave young man who would do whatever it takes to heal from unimaginable physical and emotional pain. His determination to understand his health issues, and the breakdowns and breakthroughs he had along the way are inspiring. The author gives readers a step by step plan on how he has begun his healing process, and gives honest feedback of what worked and didn’t work for him.
November 20, 2024
Prior to reading Trauma and Ecstasy, I knew very little about the roll psychedelics could play in bringing out repressed memories. The book is an enlightening read on how with the assistance of a skilled professional, psychedelics can be an effective tool in the healing process.
The author takes the reader on his personal journey to uncover repressed memories and provides an education on how to unlock the secrets the mind holds onto to protect one from repressed trauma.
An excellent read!
The author takes the reader on his personal journey to uncover repressed memories and provides an education on how to unlock the secrets the mind holds onto to protect one from repressed trauma.
An excellent read!
November 19, 2024
This is a very important book. Alex’s path of understanding his trauma and taking action on healing is inspiring. Few books put into words the use of psychedelics and their ability to bring forth buried memories quite like this one. Healing is available to all of us.
December 8, 2024
I was interested in learning more about psychedelics and how they could enlighten me regarding my past. This book was incredibly helpful. By following Abraham’s journey, which was gut wrenching to say the very least, I could see how these powerful drugs with the aid of a skilled therapist could help me. Alex Abraham was courageous to be so vulnerable and forthcoming in the book and I wish him the healing and peace he deserves.
May 1, 2025
The author addresses two important topics of trauma and recovery. It certainly took great courage to write this book. I hope the author receives justice and finds peace. Our society needs to become more accepting of MDMA treatment for PTSD and trauma. Too many people are suffering and need non-conventional options.
January 4, 2025
Trauma and Ecstasy is a harrowing yet profoundly impactful memoir that delves into the physical and psychological aftermath of childhood sexual abuse. The author recounts his struggle with repressed memories, painting a vivid picture of growing up feeling subtly out of sync with those around him. In high school and later in college, he grappled with a persistent sense of difference he couldn’t quite define. He avoided physical touch, wrestled with insomnia, and shied away from social settings where casual hugs were expected. As friends openly discussed relationships and sex, he felt a deep repulsion despite being drawn to women. These feelings, dismissed as quirks of his upbringing, gained sharper focus when physical manifestations—such as erectile dysfunction and pelvic pain—emerged, pushing him to seek answers. An injury sustained during a bike ride abroad becomes the catalyst for a grueling medical journey. As the author cycles through a string of specialists, his frustration grows. Diagnosis eludes him, and treatments yield no relief. The story unfolds in a non-linear fashion, mirroring the author’s fragmented state of mind as he confronts his buried trauma. Through these sessions, repressed memories resurface, arriving as vivid and devastating flashbacks that force him to confront his past.
The memoir is unflinching in its depiction of abuse, offering a graphic and unvarnished account of the events. Scenes such as the gang assault are brutal, yet the author’s restrained prose ensures the story remains incisive rather than exploitative. The physical toll on the body is described with painful clarity, underscoring the enduring scars left by such violations. This stark honesty allows the story to resonate deeply without veering into sensationalism.
What sets Trauma and Ecstasy apart is the author’s raw vulnerability. He lays bare his deepest fears, moments of shame, and intense emotional turmoil. He does not shy away from sharing his volatile temper, his clashes with his therapist, his breakdowns, or his reliance on alcohol to numb the pain. Nor does he gloss over the resentment he harbored toward his parents, even when it casts his family in an unflattering light. This unwavering transparency invites empathy, transforming the memoir into more than just a personal account. It becomes a lens through which readers can better understand the deep and far-reaching impact of such crimes.
Beyond recounting his journey, the memoir serves as a call to action. It compels readers to recognize the often silent cries for help from children and urges vigilance and compassion. By bravely sharing his story, the author not only provides solace to fellow survivors but also fosters greater awareness of the pervasive and devastating effects of childhood abuse.
Trauma and Ecstasy is not an easy read, but it is an essential one. It is a testament to resilience and the power of confronting the darkest corners of one’s past to find healing. This memoir challenges, moves, and lingers, leaving readers with a heightened sense of empathy and a renewed commitment to protecting the vulnerable.
The memoir is unflinching in its depiction of abuse, offering a graphic and unvarnished account of the events. Scenes such as the gang assault are brutal, yet the author’s restrained prose ensures the story remains incisive rather than exploitative. The physical toll on the body is described with painful clarity, underscoring the enduring scars left by such violations. This stark honesty allows the story to resonate deeply without veering into sensationalism.
What sets Trauma and Ecstasy apart is the author’s raw vulnerability. He lays bare his deepest fears, moments of shame, and intense emotional turmoil. He does not shy away from sharing his volatile temper, his clashes with his therapist, his breakdowns, or his reliance on alcohol to numb the pain. Nor does he gloss over the resentment he harbored toward his parents, even when it casts his family in an unflattering light. This unwavering transparency invites empathy, transforming the memoir into more than just a personal account. It becomes a lens through which readers can better understand the deep and far-reaching impact of such crimes.
Beyond recounting his journey, the memoir serves as a call to action. It compels readers to recognize the often silent cries for help from children and urges vigilance and compassion. By bravely sharing his story, the author not only provides solace to fellow survivors but also fosters greater awareness of the pervasive and devastating effects of childhood abuse.
Trauma and Ecstasy is not an easy read, but it is an essential one. It is a testament to resilience and the power of confronting the darkest corners of one’s past to find healing. This memoir challenges, moves, and lingers, leaving readers with a heightened sense of empathy and a renewed commitment to protecting the vulnerable.
April 30, 2025
In Trauma and Ecstasy, Alex Abraham has written his autobiography about his life story and experiencing bad trauma growing up. He begins the book by sharing how he hated riding bikes in general but he was riding one in the Netherlands. His life changed forever at age 23. He started experiencing pain and had trouble peeing. He thought he had an infection from traveling. It turned out to be pelvis pain. He looked for relief in any activity or a promise of a healing. He read a post by author, Tucker Max and his own experience with MDMA assisted psychotherapy. He into great detail about everything he tried and went through. This lasted for years before he discovered the cause.
One day, he had a troubling dream from his childhood. He remembers having piano lessons throughout his childhood. His mom wanted him to try new activities and thought piano would help him. Mr. Bishop who refers to as Mr. Dickhead throughout the book. He was also his school music teacher in school. He told him he was smart and encouraged him. He said he was his favorite and none of the other kids practice like he did. This later was revealed to have known as an act of grooming him. He blamed the traffic and getting stuck in it caused him to wait and waste time. So, he offered to just drive him home to do the lessons. He remembered how he gave him a special candy bar from a local gas station on the first drive. The next ride home he took him by a special park. He thought he was friendly and it beat riding the bus home. He recalled the first time and how he felt like it was seconds and then how it eventually went to choking and rougher sexual acts. He bled a few times from it. Through therapy he was able to recall him raping him and making him taste him. The rapes went on for years until he was about 7. He even had a friend rape him once. One time he even told a teacher and wasn’t believed.
He touched on eventually telling his parents and how they went to the police. They took it seriously at first then couldn’t find any evidence. His statements can be seen in video online. He also wrote a letter to the school board explaining to him what happened. They wrote a response and they never did fire him. In fact, he received an award in 2021-2022 for best outstanding school based professional employee of the year. Right after the case was closed.
This story is just downright troubling and the lack of action from the school board is just astonishing. It was very heartbreaking to read his whole experiences with being raped and all the graphic details. I feel like this book needs to make national news and media outlets need to discuss the topic. This book brought tears to my eyes in reading it. It also reminds me of a song by Jelly Roll entitled, “Hear Me Out”.
One day, he had a troubling dream from his childhood. He remembers having piano lessons throughout his childhood. His mom wanted him to try new activities and thought piano would help him. Mr. Bishop who refers to as Mr. Dickhead throughout the book. He was also his school music teacher in school. He told him he was smart and encouraged him. He said he was his favorite and none of the other kids practice like he did. This later was revealed to have known as an act of grooming him. He blamed the traffic and getting stuck in it caused him to wait and waste time. So, he offered to just drive him home to do the lessons. He remembered how he gave him a special candy bar from a local gas station on the first drive. The next ride home he took him by a special park. He thought he was friendly and it beat riding the bus home. He recalled the first time and how he felt like it was seconds and then how it eventually went to choking and rougher sexual acts. He bled a few times from it. Through therapy he was able to recall him raping him and making him taste him. The rapes went on for years until he was about 7. He even had a friend rape him once. One time he even told a teacher and wasn’t believed.
He touched on eventually telling his parents and how they went to the police. They took it seriously at first then couldn’t find any evidence. His statements can be seen in video online. He also wrote a letter to the school board explaining to him what happened. They wrote a response and they never did fire him. In fact, he received an award in 2021-2022 for best outstanding school based professional employee of the year. Right after the case was closed.
This story is just downright troubling and the lack of action from the school board is just astonishing. It was very heartbreaking to read his whole experiences with being raped and all the graphic details. I feel like this book needs to make national news and media outlets need to discuss the topic. This book brought tears to my eyes in reading it. It also reminds me of a song by Jelly Roll entitled, “Hear Me Out”.
April 6, 2025
This one is hard to rate. I have great respect for Abraham's courage and resilience in not only pursuing his trauma memories, but also trying to get justice and prevent his abuser from working with other children. (Sadly no surprise that the system failed him.) Anyone presented with years of unexplained chronic pain, as a patient or a professional treating them, should consider the possibility of repressed abuse.
From the NetGalley description, I was expecting the book to educate me more broadly about psychedelics in modern trauma therapy, but it is pretty exclusively a personal story. That was disappointing because I would have liked to understand more about why different psychedelics would be more or less effective for someone else starting such a healing process.
But my actual reason for the mid-level rating is that the author's voice didn't feel mature enough. I think he might have been better off waiting to tell this story until he grew up a little more and saw his family members as fully rounded characters, rather than only in reference to himself.
For instance, I could sympathize with his anger that his parents didn't notice the signs of abuse, which he partly blames on his mother having a demanding career outside the home. But I found myself wondering how he was paying for all this psychedelic therapy when he couldn't work because of his mental health. Turns out she paid for it, but we don't find this out till a single line in the acknowledgments.
I was also turned off by the voice in the opening chapter where he describes his sexual and elimination problems in rather simple, crude language. I'm no prude, but from a literary standpoint, I feel you need to establish more of a bond with the reader--an investment in you as a main character with other interesting traits--before leading with this information in so much detail.
I received a free ARC of this memoir from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
From the NetGalley description, I was expecting the book to educate me more broadly about psychedelics in modern trauma therapy, but it is pretty exclusively a personal story. That was disappointing because I would have liked to understand more about why different psychedelics would be more or less effective for someone else starting such a healing process.
But my actual reason for the mid-level rating is that the author's voice didn't feel mature enough. I think he might have been better off waiting to tell this story until he grew up a little more and saw his family members as fully rounded characters, rather than only in reference to himself.
For instance, I could sympathize with his anger that his parents didn't notice the signs of abuse, which he partly blames on his mother having a demanding career outside the home. But I found myself wondering how he was paying for all this psychedelic therapy when he couldn't work because of his mental health. Turns out she paid for it, but we don't find this out till a single line in the acknowledgments.
I was also turned off by the voice in the opening chapter where he describes his sexual and elimination problems in rather simple, crude language. I'm no prude, but from a literary standpoint, I feel you need to establish more of a bond with the reader--an investment in you as a main character with other interesting traits--before leading with this information in so much detail.
I received a free ARC of this memoir from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 7, 2024
Trauma & Ecstasy by Alex Abraham is a must-read for anyone interested in trauma recovery, healing, and resilience. Alex’s bravery in sharing his personal journey—from confronting childhood abuse to uncovering deeply buried memories as an adult—is inspiring. What makes this book stand out is not just the rawness with which Alex shares his trauma, but the strength it took to not only process these painful experiences but to publicly walk us through his healing journey.
As a private practice therapist (LCSW), I see Trauma & Ecstasy as an invaluable resource both for survivors of trauma and clinicians looking for new perspectives. Alex’s willingness to address the emotional and psychological impacts of trauma—especially in his relationships with family, friends, and loved ones—makes his story relatable and profound. It’s a powerful reminder of how healing isn’t linear, and the ripple effects trauma can have on our lives.
One of the most compelling aspects of the book is Alex’s exploration of psychedelic therapy. It’s a conversation that is gaining traction in the mental health field, and Alex offers an insightful, personal perspective on how these methods have contributed to his healing. For both trauma survivors and professionals in the field, this book offers valuable insight into alternative approaches to therapy and personal growth.
I highly recommend Trauma & Ecstasy—whether you’re seeking a personal story of survival, insight into trauma recovery, or a clinician looking for an honest, impactful narrative. This book will leave you reflecting long after you turn the final page.
As a private practice therapist (LCSW), I see Trauma & Ecstasy as an invaluable resource both for survivors of trauma and clinicians looking for new perspectives. Alex’s willingness to address the emotional and psychological impacts of trauma—especially in his relationships with family, friends, and loved ones—makes his story relatable and profound. It’s a powerful reminder of how healing isn’t linear, and the ripple effects trauma can have on our lives.
One of the most compelling aspects of the book is Alex’s exploration of psychedelic therapy. It’s a conversation that is gaining traction in the mental health field, and Alex offers an insightful, personal perspective on how these methods have contributed to his healing. For both trauma survivors and professionals in the field, this book offers valuable insight into alternative approaches to therapy and personal growth.
I highly recommend Trauma & Ecstasy—whether you’re seeking a personal story of survival, insight into trauma recovery, or a clinician looking for an honest, impactful narrative. This book will leave you reflecting long after you turn the final page.
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