MENtal: A Preposterous Pursuit of Love

by Deanna Reina, Darla Bruno (editor), Rachelle Gardner (editor)

In MENtal, A Preposterous Pursuit of Love you will learn how to:

Navigate extraordinary life circumstances through a positive lens
Manage the emotions that come with big life changes
Cease striving for perfection
Be empowered to take control of your life
Deanna remembered how swept away she felt as she danced to a medley of Latin music in the arms of her handsome partner. She thought that’s what forever was supposed to be like. Years later, at 36, after having been through countless dates with men, she found herself still single and now unemployed. Her life was the polar opposite of the married and happily-ever-after one she had always envisioned.

The daily grind was replaced by frittered time in an emotional abyss, fixated on being perpetually single, losing her job, and all the things Deanna felt she had done wrong. When enough was enough, she decided to use the time to try to shift her mindset to a more positive direction. She committed to renovating herself while unearthing and writing her story, MENtal, A Preposterous Pursuit of Love—something that she’d started and abandoned many times. Would Deanna be able to find the man of her dreams?

Set in the D.C. area, Deanna narrates her journey through humor, courage, and poignancy against a backdrop of music and dance, while sharing lessons learned on how to really know and transform oneself to live a fulfilling life.

Full of unbelievable dating and career moments with unexpected twists, MENtal, A Preposterous Pursuit of Love is a riveting memoir of extraordinary circumstances and emotional extremes that even the most far-fetched fiction couldn’t tell.

251 pages, Paperback

Published October 5, 2024

Reviews

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so well-written and carries such a great message! What resonated with me was my admiration for this woman’s tenacity. She kept putting herself out there and kept searching. Even though so many dates/relationships ended poorly, she didn’t give up.

And in that process, she also redefined and understood what she was truly looking for and discovered more about herself. These lessons have led her down a new path; one she didn’t know she needed. I really believe that every day we have an opportunity to learn more about who we are and why we were put here.

[Maria Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir will make you experience the whole range of emotions as you read it. It’s well written and once you start you can’t put it down. It’s a memoir that should be read as a case study by therapists to learn what happens when a young woman wants to get married and form a family. I admire the author for having had the courage to write her memoir with such clarity and honesty. This memoir will stay with you and make you think why sometimes everything falls into place and other times it doesn’t.

[Boota Virdi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I couldn’t put this book down!
Highly recommend this book, it is a combination of romance, drama, comedy and self-reflection. Deanna writes in a way that makes the reader feel like they are walking by her side as she retells the highs, lows and zaniness of her journey. As preposterous as it all seems, it is a true story! It would make a great tv show or movie!

[John Fektion · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent stories of relationships that we can all relate to. From the very beginning, it captivates you and pulls you into the book, you start to feel as if you’re right there with her. I even found myself blurting things out loud as if she could hear me. This book has that effect, not only because it’s well written, but because the experiences are so relatable.
The metaphor she uses (the Tar Pit) is a clever and powerful way to highlight those dreadful similarities we’ve all faced. I truly enjoyed the book and honestly wish it had more chapters, or at the very least, a second installment.
Overall, I give this first-time writer an A+! Purchase it; you won’t regret it.

[Leslie Felger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deanna begins her story not with triumph, but with vulnerability: single at 36, unemployed, and in the midst of what many would call a life crisis. But what makes her memoir stand out isn’t just the relatability of her circumstances it’s her refusal to stay stuck in the pain of them. That pivot, from self pity to self inquiry, is what gives this book its emotional gravity. Reina doesn’t paint herself as a perfect heroine or the victim of bad luck. She’s flawed, funny, heartbroken, hopeful and in that, entirely human.

One of the most captivating aspects of this memoir is the way Deanna interweaves her love of music and dance into her personal evolution. There’s a particularly vivid image she shares early on of dancing to a medley of Latin music in the arms of a man she thought would be her forever. That moment sets the tone for much of what follows: a journey where rhythm, romance, and reality constantly collide. She uses dance as both a metaphor and a literal practice of reconnecting with herself, and it’s beautiful. As a reader, I felt those scenes pulsate with life they broke up the darker parts of her story and offered moments of hope and sensuality.

The title MENtal is absolutely fitting this book is as much about her internal battles as it is about the absurdity of modern dating. Reina takes us on a ride through one disastrous date after another, and it’s hilarious in the way only painful memories can be when revisited with enough distance. There’s a surreal quality to some of her experiences almost as if you’re reading fiction but they’re true. And even in the most ridiculous or cringe worthy moments, she never loses her authenticity. What I appreciated most was how she didn’t simply bash men (though she absolutely calls out the nonsense when necessary). Instead, she focuses inward: how she ignored red flags, how she compromised, how she silenced her intuition. Her vulnerability in these admissions is what makes her story resonate so deeply.

But this memoir isn’t just about love gone wrong. It’s about career identity, loss, reinvention, and learning how to hold space for yourself when everything you thought you needed disappears. When Reina loses her job, it’s not just about the paycheck it’s about the sense of purpose that vanishes with it. She lets us into those quiet, depressive moments, those hours of Netflix and self loathing and comparison. She doesn’t sugarcoat it, and yet she writes with a kind of self deprecating humor that never feels like a performance. It’s healing to witness.

One of the standout themes is her confrontation with perfectionism. This hit me hard. Reina lays bare the toxic pressure we put on ourselves to “get it all right” by a certain age. Marriage, career, home, kids it’s all part of this internal checklist we inherit, and when things don’t line up, the shame can be paralyzing. But instead of letting that shame define her, Reina decides to use her rock-bottom moment as a creative launchpad. She finally commits to writing the book she had been starting and abandoning for years. In doing so, she not only creates something meaningful for herself, but for readers who need to hear that it’s okay to start over at any age.

I also want to commend Reina for how she balances humor and depth. Some memoirs lean too heavily into either comedy or catharsis, but Reina masterfully blends both. There were pages where I laughed out loud (her descriptions of dating profiles and awkward conversations are spot-on), and others where I had to stop reading for a moment because something she said just hit too close to home. One line that stuck with me was when she wrote, “You can’t keep chasing love if you’re still hiding from yourself.” That, to me, is the heart of the book.

Her self-discovery doesn’t come in a straight line. There are setbacks, doubts, and plenty of awkward self-help attempts along the way. But that’s what makes her journey so compelling it’s not a fairy tale; it’s real life. She talks about therapy, journaling, dancing alone in her living room, reconnecting with friends, forgiving herself. She teaches us that self love isn’t just a buzzword it’s a messy, ongoing process. And she doesn’t preach. She invites.

Set in the colorful, buzzing backdrop of the D.C. area, her memoir never feels stuck in one place. Just like her spirit, the story is always in motion. Whether it’s a new date, a salsa class, a job interview, or a random encounter that teaches her something unexpected, Reina manages to extract wisdom from even the most ridiculous of circumstances.

By the end of MENtal, I didn’t just feel like I knew Deanna,I felt like I’d grown with her. The final chapters are especially moving, not because everything magically works out, but because she’s found peace with not knowing what comes next. Her transformation isn’t dependent on finding the “man of her dreams,” though that question lingers throughout the book. Instead, it becomes clear that the pursuit preposterous or not was never really about men. It was about becoming the version of herself that could hold space for love in all its forms: romantic, platonic, and most importantly, self directed.

This book is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck, heartbroken, or like they’ve somehow fallen behind in life. It’s for the perfectionists, the dreamers, the late bloomers. Reina shows us that reinvention isn’t reserved for the brave or the lucky it’s possible for anyone willing to get honest, get messy, and get moving.

In short, MENtal: A Preposterous Pursuit of Love is more than just a memoir. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a reminder that sometimes, the most important love story is the one you write with yourself.

[ShannonH · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first non-audio book I’ve read (and actually finished) in several years. I read it over two days and didn’t want to stop—I just had to see what Deanna got herself into next. Sometimes it was hilarious, sometimes crazy, sometimes it hurt, and sometimes I found myself saying out loud, “Deanna, no, no, don’t do that.” MENtal is always entertaining, and Deanna is honest, vulnerable, and deeply human as she shares her relationship experiences. By the end, you feel like you’ve made a new friend. Well worth the read.

[Cindy Breloff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very readable and enjoyable. Everything that Deanna went through with career and life in her 20s and 30s will be understandable to many women during that period of their single lives. It was a good book to learn about yourself and,like Deanna, grow and achieve self acceptance.