The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old: Offerings of Hope, Joy, and New Ways to Perceive Aging

by Sophy Burnham

The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old is a timeless introspection on age, love, passion, memories, regret and reconciliation, death, forgiveness, and underneath it all, the silent wisdom that derives from how differently we perceive our lives and struggles from the broader, higher perspective of years.

What began as a singular letter in response to a younger family member standing on the precipice of her 60th birthday and asking the age-old question, “What’s it like to be old?,” soon turned into one full year of unsent reflections, wonderment, and curiosity of a life truly lived. Out of these reflections, bestselling author Sophy Burnham developed this short, story-telling collection of unsent letters that offer readers of all ages hope and joy and new ways to perceive the process of aging.
 
A kind and thoughtful read, The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old is the perfect companion piece for life that you can return to time and time again to join Burnham as she reflects on her own desires and experience with age and growth and living fully. Whether you’re at the doorstep of 40, 60, 70, or 90, she welcomes you in with an outstretched hand and a knowing nod of understanding and warmth.
 
In the end, this book is about being old. It’s also about joy. And most importantly, it’s about Love of self, of life, and of still being here to tell your stories.

Genres: Nonfiction

256 pages, Hardcover

Published May 20, 2025

About the author

Sophy Burnham is an award-winning playwright, novelist, and non-fiction writer. Three of her books have appeared on THE NEW YORK TIMES and other best seller lists. Her works have been translated into twenty-four languages. Her articles and essays have been published in ESQUIRE, NEW YORK, THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE, TOWN & COUNTRY, READER'S DIGEST and many other magazines. In addition to her theater interests, she is a psychic or intuitive, a healer, and a spiritual director. She lives in Washington D.C. New novel, 'Love, Alba' coming summer 2015!

Reviews

[thewanderingjew · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old: Offerings of Hope, Joy, and New Ways, to Perceive Aging-Sophy Burnham, author
The subject of this book will definitely arouse emotion in the reader, which emotions are strongest will depend on the age of the reader, I think. The author is now 85-years-old. When she began these letters to her cousin, she was 83, and as far as I can tell, the only difference caused by the passage of time is the inevitable decline of her health. Her mind is fully functioning, however. How you face aging and its end result, fear it and deal with it, is what she writes about. As she does it, however, she encourages living life with love, living it fully and embracing it joyfully, the beginning and the end. I found myself alternately smiling and tearing up. I also found myself shaking my head in agreement with Sophy, as she wrote about her thoughts on getting old and dying, but for me, she really presented a message about how to live a good life and how to keep on living it with a smile, as well.
In a series of unmailed letters to her cousin Eleanor, and four letters she has written to herself every twenty-one years, beginning with her twenty-first birthday, she explains her feelings about aging and dying to the reader. Sophy didn’t open the prior letter to herself until she wrote the one to follow. She has only recently written the last one, knowing she might not ever get to read it. How did she change from the tender age of 21 to the ripe old age of 84, her age when she wrote the final letter? Now at 85, she hopes to continue to go on living well and with love.
The book begins when cousin Eleanor asks her Aunt Sophy what is it like being old. She had just turned 59, and thought that 60 would be traumatizing. To an octogenarian, 60 is just a child. The query sets Sophy off on a course of letter-writing to Eleanor. These letters serve another purpose. They take her down memory lane and allow her to examine her own life, how she has lived it and how she intends to continue to live it. Interspersed on the pages of this true story are philosophical quotes supporting her own philosophy of life. They are generally uplifting and are good advice for the reader.
Is Sophy afraid of death? Is death as final as we think or is there something else afterward? At Sophy’s age, living demands coping with the detritus of age. She explains how she manages it and until her latest 85th birthday, she was riding her horse with fervor. She still rides, but more slowly. As we age, life does become more of an active effort, but life does go on, and it should go on with a smile. The book tries to encourage the reader not to fear death, but to embrace its possibility by living every day to the fullest. Perhaps death is not the end, but the beginning. Let love guide the reader, and let the living/reading begin!

[Panda Incognito · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a collection of letters that the author wrote to a relative. At times, this feels like listening into half of a conversation, and at other times, it's the author waxing eloquent about her philosophical thoughts, some of her memories, and thoughts about aging. Whether or not someone connects with this will depend on how much they relate to the author.

I had a hard time putting my finger on why I disliked this book as much as I did, but one thing I found off-putting is that even the author sometimes acknowledges her privilege in passing, her perspective is that of someone who is growing old with plenty of money and support, and without debilitating physical issues. Some of her chipper and upbeat advice would just seem shallow and insulting to an aging person who is facing tremendous barriers that make everyday life difficult.

Meanwhile, the author regularly pivots to pious hand-wringing about other social issues, making all kinds of shallow political points that felt like virtue signaling to me. Her emphasis on all these things while mostly ignoring social issues related to aging made parts of the book feel tone-deaf. Also, she talks a lot about her spiritual beliefs, which combine parts of multiple world religions into her own personal belief system. Those parts may appeal to people who share her worldview, but people who don't like the religious content will find it distracting, and people who believe in a particular religion will find it off-putting to see how she takes aspects of their faith out of context.

I liked the concept of this book, but I didn't enjoy it in reality. I wouldn't recommend it, unless someone vibes with the author's political and spiritual views, and doesn't have any significant hardships that make aging especially discouraging and difficult.

I received a free copy from the publisher through Amazon Vine, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone will grow old - well then again, those of us that are lucky enough to experience it will. But with that comes a lot of fear, and unknowns for many of us when it comes to our health, mobility, abilities and way of living. This book is the perfect read for those of us who are - well, afraid of the unknowns of aging.

"The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old" gave me some very nice insight into the ups and downs of old age - written in a collection of letters from the author to her younger family member. All of the letters focus in on something that many of us wonder but may not always ask: "What's it like to be old?"

This book - which feels like part recollection-style memoir and part storytelling, was such a warm and heartfelt read. I really enjoyed it. It felt like a loved one was giving me advice throughout. This book is about what it's like to be old, but it's also so much more than that. It's about joy. It's about whimsy. It's about wonder. It's about acceptance, forgiveness, and wisdom.

[Katie D · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt really touched by this. I think Sophy Burnham is smart and thoughtful, and although I had a few eye-rolly moments, I enjoyed getting a glimpse inside her head and heart. This affirmed a suspicion I’ve had that old age can actually be quite beautiful, as long as we’re practiced in our capacity to hold hard feelings and complexity.

[Ryan Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This little book doesn’t try to be more than it is—a woman in her 80s reflecting on the most recent years of her life and what she has learned and experienced. In short: life is good as it continues; notice and appreciate it.

[Heather Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. I wanted to like it, and there were bits I did like. But overall it felt smug and smarmy.

[Clare Ogonek · Rating 1 out of 5]

More of a collection of anecdotal ramblings than a book with anything useful.

[Iris Gamulescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt reminder to be living in the present and to be grateful for all that is. P