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320 pages, Hardcover
Published August 19, 2025
Concerned looks abounded and a sense of dread blanketed the entire floor like a damp, sulfurous fart.
…
Whatever. I purged the baby batter, showered, and fell into a restless sleep.
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Everyone in this office was an asshole, but we were assholes together. On the same asshole team. With the same asshole objectives. Seeking out the same asshole rewards.
I’d always wanted to be a spy when I was little, like my hero James Bond, until I realized I wasn’t tall and blue-eyed enough. As I got older, I thought I’d at least make a cool Bond villain: short, stocky, ethnically ambiguous, and always threatening a trace of controlled menace. After a few moments of mingling with the world’s legitimate high rollers, I doubted I was debonair enough to park the cars.
…
Doing the right thing was for suckers. There was a reason Skeletor was doper than He-Man, the Decepticons were more fearsome than the Autobots, and the Sith were more powerful than the Jedi.
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“This time it’s different,” Joey said.
The most famous last words on Wall Street. Used by everyone from traders to journalists to Federal Reserve chairs to justify how the current market crash fundamentally differed from the previous market crash. To find the upsides, silver linings, and causes and effects of whatever the ongoing crisis happened to be. To explain how this time everything would be okay. How we’d learned, improved, and grown. These were the lies everyone told themselves so they could navigate a world devoid of meaning. So they could traverse an industry built on excess. Where greed and venality were the heroes, and fairness and conscientiousness were the villains.