Bless the Messy: Life Lessons from a Work in Progress

by Jess Bird

For readers of Hyperbole and a Half and Am I There Yet?, Bless the Messy is a compassionate, distinctive, and voice-driven illustrated personal growth book, one that gives readers permission to radically love themselves, feel their feelings, and live with joy even as—especially as—they may fumble through major life moments, or feel othered by society’s narrow norms.

Supreme moments of beauty and joy can be found in the mess. Jess Bird is living proof of that. As a queer woman who received a late-in-life ADHD diagnosis, Jess is raising her kids in a blended family, rewriting the rules as she goes along. Far from being an expert or perfect, she embraces her imperfections and invites you to do the same. By sharing her messy, in-process journey, Jess hopes to connect with those who feel isolated or oppressed by society’s narrow norms, making them feel seen and validated.

In this illustrated personal growth book, Jess combines self-reflection, encouragement, and practical guidance. She delves into her struggles and triumphs, offering insights on growing through trauma and healing, breaking free from societal expectations, setting boundaries, redefining home and chosen family, finding self-worth, and embracing anti-perfectionism. The mantra “Bless the Messy” runs through it all, reminding us that every emotion, even the uncomfortable ones, is valid and valuable.

Bright, hopeful, real, and raw, Bless the Messy is a warm hug of a book that will make you feel a little less alone.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT

176 pages, Hardcover

Published June 3, 2025

Reviews

[Justine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what would satiate my mood, but as soon as this arrived in the mail, I was drawn to it. I’ve avoided self-help books for years, mainly because they’re what triggered a 14-year reading slump. But something about Bless the Messy felt different. I paused my current reads to take a peek and ended up devouring the entire thing in one sitting.

Jess Bird blends memoir and self-help with beautiful vulnerability, inviting us into her life as a queer woman navigating motherhood, identity, neurodivergence and healing. Her writing is both gentle and fierce, validating every messy, complicated emotion with compassion and honesty.

What truly pulled me in was how gripping and relatable it felt. The art scattered throughout the pages was visually appetizing, and it reminded me of one of the only other self-help books that’s ever resonated with me: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon.

This isn’t your typical self-help book. It’s a soul-deep affirmation that there’s beauty in chaos, power in softness and strength in embracing our most authentic, unpolished selves. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure to have it all together, this book will meet you where you are and gently remind you that being messy is still sacred.

[Mady S]

A beautiful mix of memoir essays and illustrations. These small excerpts give you a glimpse into living a complicated, messy life. It’s a beautiful book and one I look forward to sharing with others. (No star rating as I do not rate memoirs).

[Sam Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am so thankful to Simon Audio, Jess Bird, and Librofm for granting me advanced audio access before pub day - June 3.

What a beautiful depiction of coming to know one’s self from a new lens, truly and wholly.

[Alex S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and thought provoking!! Love the art mixed in.

[Therearenobadbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Delightful! Designed as a precious visual journal/scrapbook each page is different and creative. Short and direct messages per pages accompanied with detailed pages of thoughts or explanations. I love it. Super motivational, colorful, inspiring, and vibrant.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Simon Element for my advance #gifted copy. My thoughts are my own.

Life is a practice in living and loving through the chaos. Jess Bird knows this from personal experience--she is an in-process person who found out later in life--after she thought she was on the past she was supposed to be following--that she is neurodivergent and queer. And that's when she started to embrace the mess of blending families, feel all the emotions in a healthy way, and help others through difficult times.

Bird's writing is brutally honest and encouraging. We are all human, all struggling, and all valued, and she recognizes and celebrates that. I loved and found peace in the open, positive conversation round mental health and LGBTQ+. And all throughout her prose is interspersed with vibrant, creative visual art and illuminated observations and frameable quotes. I’m a people pleaser with depression and I get some of what she says bone-deep. I can’t relate to it all, but enough. She’s a mess. But aren't we all? And isn't there such a deep value in recognizing that and working through it all together?

Trigger warning: She’s been through it and mentioned bits of her life that touch on: sexual abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, abandonment, growing up too fast, eating disorder, drug abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, coming out

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jess Bird doesn't present healing as a neat, linear journey. Instead, she honors the reality that growth is often messy, repetitive, and deeply human, while also reminding us that there is no correct timeline for becoming yourself. That approach made me feel seen in moments where I've struggled to be kinder to myself or felt pressure to have everything figured out by now.

[Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was able to relate to parts of this book, that I didn't know I needed. The words in this book were things I needed to hear unknowingly. Jess is an amazing human; I've had the chance to interact with her multiple times. Her book truly shows her struggles and the growth she has made.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest and moving ... Bird's style would be especially appealing to older teens...

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, real, emotional. Accepting and becoming who you are meant to be unapologetically…as it should be.

[CASS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you just need to feel less alone in this big world

[Phantom_fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a lot of content. A short self love note and reminder to be kind.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a raw, well-written memoir by someone with a somewhat eclectic life not by design; yet, showing how one can make the most of things and move forward well.