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Drunk Love: A Marriage under the Influence
Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje never planned to be the life of the party, but somewhere along the way, alcohol became her nightly companion. From innocent childhood sips to adult cocktail soirées, her journey with drinking was far from simple. By day, she was a successful journalist and devoted mother; by night, she was lost in a haze of wine.
Keeping up appearances became her full-time job, convincing everyone—including herself—that she had it all under control. But the weight of her secrets and the strain on her marriage couldn't be ignored forever. After one chaotic night, her husband, Mark, makes a life-altering decision that forces Melissa to confront her addiction head-on.
Embarking on a raw and revealing journey to sobriety, Melissa uncovers the buried truths about her life, her marriage, and herself. Can love survive the sober truth? With unflinching honesty and courage, Melissa battles the demons that alcohol once helped to mask, striving to build a future where she can be fully present for her family and herself.
Drunk A Marriage Under the Influence is a candid, wild, funny and heart-wrenching memoir that explores the depths of addiction and the redemptive power of love and self-discovery. Melissa’s story is a beacon of hope for anyone who has struggled with addiction or loved someone who has. It’s a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the possibility of transformation.
Keeping up appearances became her full-time job, convincing everyone—including herself—that she had it all under control. But the weight of her secrets and the strain on her marriage couldn't be ignored forever. After one chaotic night, her husband, Mark, makes a life-altering decision that forces Melissa to confront her addiction head-on.
Embarking on a raw and revealing journey to sobriety, Melissa uncovers the buried truths about her life, her marriage, and herself. Can love survive the sober truth? With unflinching honesty and courage, Melissa battles the demons that alcohol once helped to mask, striving to build a future where she can be fully present for her family and herself.
Drunk A Marriage Under the Influence is a candid, wild, funny and heart-wrenching memoir that explores the depths of addiction and the redemptive power of love and self-discovery. Melissa’s story is a beacon of hope for anyone who has struggled with addiction or loved someone who has. It’s a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the possibility of transformation.
- GenresNonfiction
224 pages, Paperback
Published May 29, 2025
21 people are currently reading
2578 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
Want to read
August 26, 2025I haven’t received the book yet. So I am unable to read and leave a review.
April 2, 2025
This was a great read.
I did not like Melissa or Mark at all, and honestly, I am surprised they are still together.
For someone in his own recovery group, he is very annoying and often comes across as denying his own reality!
This book works on several levels.
1 the honesty to detail the good and the bad.
2 rarely have I seen a memoir about addiction so thoroughly explain, to the readers, what AA is and is not.
3 the message of hope.
I read a lot of memoirs on addiction, and the writing is solid, and the pace is great.
I really enjoyed this, or as much as you can enjoy reading such a serious subject.
I did not like Melissa or Mark at all, and honestly, I am surprised they are still together.
For someone in his own recovery group, he is very annoying and often comes across as denying his own reality!
This book works on several levels.
1 the honesty to detail the good and the bad.
2 rarely have I seen a memoir about addiction so thoroughly explain, to the readers, what AA is and is not.
3 the message of hope.
I read a lot of memoirs on addiction, and the writing is solid, and the pace is great.
I really enjoyed this, or as much as you can enjoy reading such a serious subject.
June 21, 2025
Book Review: Drunk Love: A Marriage Under the Influence by Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje
Rating: 4.6/5
Reviewer’s Perspective & Initial Reactions
As a female sociologist and public health professional, I approached Stoeltje’s memoir with a dual lens: analyzing addiction as both a personal struggle and a systemic public health crisis. While the book is framed as a personal narrative, its unflinching portrayal of high-functioning alcoholism—particularly among women—resonated deeply with my research on gendered substance use patterns and the social determinants of health. Stoeltje’s raw honesty about performing, having it all, while privately unraveling, evoked both empathy and frustration at societal pressures that normalize self-destructive coping mechanisms.
Strengths & Emotional Impact
-Gendered Nuance: The memoir’s exploration of maternal guilt (devoted mother by day, wine-dependent by night) highlights how women’s addiction often manifests in private, contrasting with male narratives of public rock-bottom moments. This duality stirred recognition of how patriarchy shapes addiction stigma.
-Structural Subtext: Stoeltje’s journey inadvertently critiques systemic failures—lack of workplace support for addiction, healthcare gaps, and the myth of “functional” alcoholism. As a public health scholar, I wished for explicit policy connections but valued the lived-experience evidence.
-Emotional Resonance: The marital tension (Can love survive the sober truth?) elicited visceral tension, mirroring my clinical observations of how addiction fractures relationships. The redemptive arc offered cautious optimism about recovery’s nonlinear path.
Constructive Criticism
-Intersectional Gaps: Stoeltje’s privilege (career success, marital support) isn’t fully contextualized. How might race, class, or LGBTQ+ identity complicate recovery access? A deeper structural analysis would strengthen its academic utility.
-Public Health Solutions: While the memoir powerfully diagnoses addiction’s toll, it misses opportunities to advocate for systemic interventions (e.g., harm reduction, paid treatment leave).
-Theoretical Engagement: References to demons and redemption risk individualizing addiction without engaging sociological theories of trauma or capitalist alienation that underpin substance use.
Why This Book Matters
Drunk Love is a vital addition to addiction literature, centering women’s experiences often erased from mainstream narratives. Its emotional authenticity outweighs its academic omissions, offering scholars qualitative insights into the interplay of gender, marriage, and recovery.
Thank you to the publisher for the free copy via Edelweiss. Rated 4.6/5—a compelling memoir that bridges personal and public health discourse, demanding supplemental structural analysis.
Pair With: Quit Like a Woman (Holly Whitaker) for feminist recovery critique or In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Mate) for trauma-informed perspectives. Essential reading for scholars studying addiction’s gendered dimensions.
Rating: 4.6/5
Reviewer’s Perspective & Initial Reactions
As a female sociologist and public health professional, I approached Stoeltje’s memoir with a dual lens: analyzing addiction as both a personal struggle and a systemic public health crisis. While the book is framed as a personal narrative, its unflinching portrayal of high-functioning alcoholism—particularly among women—resonated deeply with my research on gendered substance use patterns and the social determinants of health. Stoeltje’s raw honesty about performing, having it all, while privately unraveling, evoked both empathy and frustration at societal pressures that normalize self-destructive coping mechanisms.
Strengths & Emotional Impact
-Gendered Nuance: The memoir’s exploration of maternal guilt (devoted mother by day, wine-dependent by night) highlights how women’s addiction often manifests in private, contrasting with male narratives of public rock-bottom moments. This duality stirred recognition of how patriarchy shapes addiction stigma.
-Structural Subtext: Stoeltje’s journey inadvertently critiques systemic failures—lack of workplace support for addiction, healthcare gaps, and the myth of “functional” alcoholism. As a public health scholar, I wished for explicit policy connections but valued the lived-experience evidence.
-Emotional Resonance: The marital tension (Can love survive the sober truth?) elicited visceral tension, mirroring my clinical observations of how addiction fractures relationships. The redemptive arc offered cautious optimism about recovery’s nonlinear path.
Constructive Criticism
-Intersectional Gaps: Stoeltje’s privilege (career success, marital support) isn’t fully contextualized. How might race, class, or LGBTQ+ identity complicate recovery access? A deeper structural analysis would strengthen its academic utility.
-Public Health Solutions: While the memoir powerfully diagnoses addiction’s toll, it misses opportunities to advocate for systemic interventions (e.g., harm reduction, paid treatment leave).
-Theoretical Engagement: References to demons and redemption risk individualizing addiction without engaging sociological theories of trauma or capitalist alienation that underpin substance use.
Why This Book Matters
Drunk Love is a vital addition to addiction literature, centering women’s experiences often erased from mainstream narratives. Its emotional authenticity outweighs its academic omissions, offering scholars qualitative insights into the interplay of gender, marriage, and recovery.
Thank you to the publisher for the free copy via Edelweiss. Rated 4.6/5—a compelling memoir that bridges personal and public health discourse, demanding supplemental structural analysis.
Pair With: Quit Like a Woman (Holly Whitaker) for feminist recovery critique or In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Mate) for trauma-informed perspectives. Essential reading for scholars studying addiction’s gendered dimensions.
May 23, 2025
I really loved this book - the writing was beautiful and honest. I laughed at parts, there were some tears, but ultimately hope. A great reminder to have empathy for those around you as you never truly know other people’s struggles.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews