Manual Not Included

by Hilaria Baldwin

In thoughtful, candid, and often funny vignettes, Hilaria Baldwin—mother, wellness expert, and star of TLC’s The Baldwins—reveals the highs and lows and unpredictable outtakes from her different and not-so-different life.

There’s no set of instructions when it comes to navigating the challenges life throws at us. However, by sharing our narratives and finding our commonality, we can better deal with what comes our way.

After meeting her husband, actor Alec Baldwin, Hilaria found joy and purpose entering the public eye, where she sought to build community and connection with others. She also faced the challenges of the uglier, more toxic parts of the spotlight, living under a warped magnifying glass. Through the ups and downs, Hilaria leaned into wisdom and support offered by others, learning that optimism, kindness, and a sense of humor can put life into perspective. And additionally learning that we are not alone, that we are more alike than we are different.

In Manual Not Included, Hilaria writes about the relatable, hard-earned insights she’s gained from her experiences as an individual, a partner, and a parent—from feeling empowered, to having a fulfilling relationship, to being as good a mother as possible, all while still being a work in progress.

Within chapters about love, motherhood, and friendship, Hilaria offers up her candid stories around common themes facing women—from feeling like you’re too much and also not enough, to grappling with the expectation to be a “good girl,” and to striving for unattainable perfection. While there is no one right way to live, by sharing what we’ve learned along the way, with compassion and without judgment, we can each create our own perfectly imperfect manual.

Genres: Memoir, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Nonfiction

192 pages, Hardcover

Published May 6, 2025

About the author

Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas was born on 6 January 1984 in Boston, Massachusetts, U.S.A., the daughter of M.D. Kathryn Hayward and David Thomas Jr.

She married Alec Baldwin in 2012.

Reviews

[Cydney · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hilaria Baldwin reminds me of Madonna: they seem like very loving women who get great joy out of loving their children, they talk in varied accents, and BOY are they kooky.

And like, maybe some of this was on me—I thought that since this is marketed as a memoir, it would be about a woman who was a private citizen until she got married to an actor who had his heyday in the 90s and early 00s. But it is instead Hilaria taking nearly 200 pages (or 4.5 hours of narration) to address headlines, tabloid fodder, and air personal grievances without saying anyone's name and being all "love and light" after she finishes her individual spiels. I can't help it: I am senselessly plugged into the plight of the Baldwinitos and generally find Hilaria to be entertaining, so I had to read and support mi ethnic hermana.

Hilaria Baldwin's life seemingly begins when she meets her husband, and the book clumsily flicks back and forth between their current relationship, their relationship when they met, their relationship as they became parents, and their relationship before and after the Rust shooting. Every part of how Hilaria presents herself in her memoir that is supposed to be about her is about Alec and how he did one thing and she said another and then someone attacked them and then they came through it all with love™️. Her refusal to take accountability for cosplaying as a Latina and instead resorting to calling it "code switching" (which is a phrase that has been adapted to discuss the plights of all multilingual or multicultural people in the US but has STRONGGGGG roots in Black Americans' experience with AAVE and "white" American English/proprietary standards and these roots cannot be disconnected so one tiny white lady can pretend to be a señorita) was jarring and about as surprising as one could be when discovering she was a yoga teacher in the 2010s; the OG culture vultures.

I knew this was going to be a ride but I did not expect…this. She comes across as a pick me and slightly out of touch and I feel horrible because I for real did not intend to pick her memoir apart LOL. Your ADHD and dyslexia did not make you pose for Latina magazine or tell your white daughter that people will treat her better because she is whiter than your self-tanned (white) self. Hilaria goes on to allege that her and Alec exist on the outskirts of society because the PTB don't like that they don't play ball with the paparazzi or understand why Alec has assaulted/screamed at many people over the years. Girlie...okay.

This needed to be edited into a more coherent and cohesive reading experience that has nothing to do with the ebbs and flows of Hilaria's Spanish-by-way-of-Bostón accent during the narration. Less "the world is against us" and more "I'm a little loca."

2.5 ⭐️s

[Smith Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know what I was thinking reading this book. It's completely pointless. Nothing in the book is reflected on her IG. The cover itself is beyond inappropriate. She would not have such a comfortable life without Alec Baldwin's money yet he's in a box with his mouth taped shut? What message is that supposed to send to the kids? Hilaria has zero qualifications to label herself a health & wellness expert. Not only that but her disturbing continuous behavior regarding the fake Spanish persona/accent is confusing. There is zero truth in this book. Again she refuses to acknowledge the army of nannies she has among other staff. And yes there are tons of books regarding marriage and raising children. This one? Zero substance. That goes for both Hilaria & the book.

[N N. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't waste your time, Hillary Baldwin is an expert in nothing but faking her persona and exploiting her children for likes on Instagram. I wouldn't even do the "exercises" she pushes because she's not a certified instructor. She grew up in Boston, MA but wants people to think she forgot the word cucumber while making gazpacho on the Today show. She is the epitome of main character syndrome.

[Anne-Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audible:I’m in the minority here because I really enjoyed this book. I follow Hilaria and I enjoy her and her videos.

[Becky]

Wow! This hurt my heart to read! I feel so bad for Hilaria! She is in an abusive marriage and doesn’t realize it! I understand because I have been there! Making excuses for his abusive behavior. Trying to convince everyone that he is a good man!!! If he really was, you would not have to convince anyone! It took me 20 years to see my husband for the monster he is, because I loved him so much and I couldn’t imagine the cold cruel heart he had. She is doing this very same thing! Looking at his behavior through the lense of her sweet kind heart. Please if you see this, leave him!! You aren’t trapped financially like I am! You don’t have to choose between this or living on welfare!

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seems to me to goal of this book is to establish Hilaria as a bilingual neurodiverse and this is critical in providing explanations for her language oopsie she got widely called out for. She works this angle in every few pages and it’s noticeable and distracting. Also, the stories she tells and observations she makes about her husband seem…mean. She paints him as aggressive, neurotic and controlling with a major case of OCD. If she is trying to give medical context for his public persona, like she exhaustively does for herself, it just comes across as cringe. I imagine him reading this and feeling like she’s calling out some of his most tender traits, and that feeling shitty. Then again, he probably didn’t finish reading it. I don’t know why I did, guess I was hoping for a juicy tidbit. There are none.

[Laura Donovan]

Thank you to the publisher for sending me some Mother’s Day books, including this one. I like that it’s short. This book is all about the ways the author has felt attacked, and as such, this memoir reads as defensive. The author doesn’t fully address the controversy surrounding her identity. It seems like a lot is still unresolved in her life, and I didn’t walk away from this book feeling good or empowered or like I really learned something about this family.

[Nella ☾ of Bookland · Rating 2 out of 5]

I should've known Hilaria would continue to gaslight readers about faking her cultural background.

[Shira Sanghvi · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a nothingburger. She insists on defining herself as more than Alec Baldwin’s wife, yet this memoir doesn’t say anything about her life before meeting him. How much time did you spend in spain? Why is half the book just you writing defenses of yourself in response to unidentified but clearly specific attacks? This lady is addicted to having kids & I don’t envy life w Alec Baldwin one bit

listen to the cmbc/binchtopia episode about the book instead of bothering to read it

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

This author openly worries that her book will be perceived as an attempt to get sympathy from the public--and that's exactly what happens after reading her tone deaf sense of entitlement and false modesty.

Baldwin claims to hate fame (right--then why do a reality series about your family and then go on Dancing With the Stars?), that she's a victim of paparazzi (though she uses them for her own self gain and manipulation), and that we should all feel sorry for the problems that come with her being rich and beautiful. No thanks.

Too much of this book is dedicated to the boring subject of her birthing children and being a mother. Then she switches to sharing fairly normal paparazzi stories that she claims are sometimes "totally illegal." Nope, Hilaria, a photographer has a lot of rights and you being a public person have to put up with it.

She keeps complaining about how the media use her family's life because they "want a show" that is not true and paints a false picture--yet her husband is a famous actor who is all about getting paid millions for putting on untrue shows! She's trying to bite the hand that feeds her and it comes across as being delusional.

She skirts around when she was caught lying about her background and ethnicity by straddling the fence, claiming she was brought up with both English and Spanish in the household. Maybe so, but that doesn't excuse how she handled her public attempts at falsifying some of her past.

Mostly I had to groan that she keeps telling us that she is not a golddigger (way too defensive about it!), doesn't want to be famous, didn't know who Alec Baldwin was when they were dating (come on), and hates all the attention they get. Seriously? She seems like she loves it, comparing herself to Cinderella, and even uses the book to throw her husband under the bus. Lovingly, of course, but he comes across as a real mess. If anything this validates the criticism about the Baldwins, and that's something I would guess she hoped was not included. But it is and it doesn't make any of them look good.

[Tara Nabicht · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went in blind reading this book and am shocked at the large amount of negative reviews. I would feel ashamed to pick apart someone else’s Biography as if she was lying. I found this to be an informative and funny insight into the life of Hilaria Alec and their journey to 7 kids.

[Jamie Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got through this in a day because it is written in a very simple way. Feels like it was also written in a day. Very short stories clumped together in chapters and not a lot of introspection. She seems pretty out of touch with reality and I had trouble relating to her in any way shape or form.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As so many others, I prepared to not like our author as I had preconceived notions. Parts of the book were a bit bougie, but in the end- she’s a good person trying to be a good mom and wife despite all the negative press in the papers and online. The book cleared up a lot- not that she owes the public anything. It was a good read.

[Lindsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was horribly written. She just repeated the same thing over and over and most of it was about her forgetting English words or how she hates being famous now. Yikes.

[Rowley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this quick read. Hilaria Baldwin is down to earth and faced a lot of things in life. She is the glue that keeps her family strong and together.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 stars

[Donna Callaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book interesting and enjoyable. It hurts my heart to know that as a society we for some reason find joy in trying to tear people down. I for one will try harder to walk away from the gossip and be a bigger person.

[Amber Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Chelsea Devantez made me do it.

[Kiersten Johnson · Rating 1 out of 5]

You may be considering to give this a read to hear her side of the story, but save your time and money! This book is in really poor taste. There is not a single interesting thing in it, she is extremely judgemental and views all other women as competition, while alleging that an angry mob randomly targeted her for no reason at all.

Hillary tries to control the narrativeby gaslighting people who have rightfully called her out for her lies. No one misunderstood her claims of being Spanish, no one is upset she "forgot" a word. She put on a disgusting show of every basic spanish stereotype for years and refuses to acknowledge or apologize.

This woman:
-grew up in Boston, yet pretended to be Spanish.
-has not spent any meaningful amount of time in Spain.
-her parents moved to Spain when she was in her upper 20's, she has never been enrolled in school there as Alec has claimed. Alec has also said multiple times she is from Spain, even AFTER her grift was exposed.
- is NOT bilingual and can't even speak Spanish above a middle grade level, there is an interview where the Spanish interviewer switches to English because she can't keep up
-Used a Mantilla and Flamenco fan in her wedding (!!!) and claimed she had 30+ family members from Spain in attendance
-Said she loved the store Zara since "before I was in this country"
-Said in a podcast that she moved to NY at 19, when the podcaster asks "from...?", she responded with "my family lives in Spain"
-There is a segment with doctor Oz where he asks "are you Spanish" and she responds "in Spain, we have olive oil" (LOL)
-posted a picture of her and her mother in a nail salon, saying they were Spanish women
-spoke at the UN discussing Spanish diets and was introduced as half Spanish (really disappointed in the UN for their lack of background checking)
-was on the cover of Hola! magazine
-retweeted her placement on lists such as "best dressed latina"
-compared her spray tanned arm with her daughter's lighter arm on MLK day to "teach" about racism saying "look at my skin color. Look at your skin color. Who is darker? is one of us better than the other?" all with MLKs I Have a Dream Speech playing in the background (really disgusting thing to do, the post is still on her insta page from 1/21/2019)
-tweeted things like "This is everything a Spanish yoga teacher could ever want!", "I appreciate your culture, but in Spain, you pierce ears when they are babies", "...for teaching me strange (and slightly inappropriate) American slang"
-responded to an Instagram comment that said "imagine if little baby is dark latina!" with "that's what we say every time, and they all come out blonde hair and blue eyed!"

Again, this woman is NOT bilingual, she can barely speak basic Spanish.
She has tried to profit from a disrespectful false narrative of being an immigrant, taking away opportunities from others, while never having to face the struggles that actual immigrants face.

And she is not a wellness expert. She has no credentials, gives poor/ incorrect exercise and nutrition advice. Claims in the book that she overcame her eating disorder by eating intuitively and listening to her body- this is not helpful for people struggling with eating disorders.

She doesn't credit the many nannies they have a single time in this book, and is setting a poor example for her children. The TLC show showed that the kids are obsessed with poop, and the youngest ones are constantly saying "b*tch", "F*ck" pretty much every time they are on camera. It is really sad and is not setting the kids up for success at all.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

After meeting her husband, actor Alec Baldwin, Hilaria found joy and purpose entering the public eye, where she sought to build community and connection with others. She also faced the challenges of the uglier, more toxic parts of the spotlight, living under a warped magnifying glass. Through the ups and downs, Hilaria leaned into wisdom and support offered by others, learning that optimism, kindness, and a sense of humor can put life into perspective. And additionally learning that we are not alone, that we are more alike than we are different.

In Manual Not Included, Hilaria writes about the relatable, hard-earned insights she’s gained from her experiences as an individual, a partner, and a parent—from feeling empowered, to having a fulfilling relationship, to being as good a mother as possible, all while still being a work in progress.

Within chapters about love, motherhood, and friendship, Hilaria offers up her candid stories around common themes facing women—from feeling like you’re too much and also not enough, to grappling with the expectation to be a “good girl,” and to striving for unattainable perfection. While there is no one right way to live, by sharing what we’ve learned along the way, with compassion and without judgment, we can each create our own perfectly imperfect manual.

I also watched the Baldwins show on Amazon prime which I enjoyed !

[Hella Comat · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a short book by Hilaria Baldwin, Alec Baldwin’s wife and mother to their 7 children. While I was just hoping for an insight into daily life with such a big family, as well as maybe some celebrity insight into living a great lifestyle, I was somewhat disappointed by all the advice. While she prefaces all her judgments with the thought that they apply only to her, and that other people have to make their own decisions, I felt there was way too much self—interest. I guess it’s due to being thrust into a life aof fame, after all living a ‘normal’ life as a yoga instructor. While she acknowledges that being constantly in the media is part of her role as Alec’s wife, she also describes all the tough times, unfair comments, gossip, and lack of privacy that she endures. A little too much ‘me’, and not enough ‘us’ for my liking in this book.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy following this family's adventures on Instagram-I found their account around the time of Alec Baldwin's trial, which I was interested in from an evidence/prosecution proof angle (wondering how they were going to prove the case--which they didn't)--and then I found out he had 7 children. Their antics on instagram are funny and heartwarming. I wish this memoir had the depth and humor of the posts, but it seems mostly to talk about Alec Baldwin's career and the author's placee in it as well as a providing a road map of grievances against unnamed people whom I would never know as I generally don't follow celebrities. I will stick to the instagram. I read this on an airplaine and it was a good escape

[Deirdre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Go ahead and judge me for having this on my Goodreads. I am also probably rating it higher than anyone on this app, but it was a super short memoir, I paid attention the whole time. Was my life changed? No, but it kept me entertained and it didn’t require much brain power to keep up with. I don’t see Hillaria Baldwin as a threat to our country so I think she gets a disproportionate amount of hate. There are more influential people who have long, dragging memoirs, so some of them could actually learn from Hillaria Baldwin lol.

[John Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since the author was appearing on Dancing with the Stars, I decided to give this a read. Hilaria explains her life as the mother of seven, her marriage to Alec Baldwin, and the horrible tragedy of the prop gun which was not filled with blanks. Hilaria tells her story very well explaining that she is definitely not a gold-digger, her devotion to her husband, her Spanish heritage, and Alec's devastation and recovery. I am happy to understand their lives and impressed with everything they have gone through.

[Doreena Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an interesting memoir, I can understand where Hilaria is coming from in her assessments of how people view and take her, but I think she is or tries to be as genuine as she can be in the public eye. She and Alec are blessed with beautiful seemingly well-adjusted children and a comfortable life. I think she just puts too much emphasis on what people think of her when she puts herself out there for it. A decent read.

[Megin Herron · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was interested in this books after really enjoying watching The Baldwins on TLC and was wanting more. This book was vague and scattered and just not very well written. I know that the bouncing around of the writing was the intended style but I don’t think it landed. I learned very little new information about Hilaria and her family. Still a fan though and hope there will be a season 2 of their show!

[Kris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nothing new here. Just regurgitation of self discovery types of tidbits. Some of the stories were interesting about her life as a celebrity. But in the end, I felt like I was being preached to. The offer of friendship felt like if I really did meet her in person, she would slough me off being suspicious and guarded, despite all of her best efforts to convince me otherwise.

[Melissa Coffman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting but very weird short read about Alec Baldwins wife, Hilaria. Life as a mom of seven, plus a step daughter, suffering a miscarriage, using a surrogate, life as a celebrity wife and a whole lot of ADHD, dyslexia and Alec’s OCD. It was strange at times but it was interesting a lot of the time. I kinda of felt sorry for her after listening to this book.

[What Angie Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was hard up for something to read so grabbed this at the library. What was I thinking?

More importantly what was the point of this book? The Cover is so confusing, and absolute trash.

I didn't finish, couldn't get past the bizarrely irrelevant content. If she's a health influencer then I'm the queen of Sheeba .

[Barbara Pascal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked it although I didn't want to

I didn't expect to actually see inside her mind, her life. Having raised a houseful myself, I found her real, introspective, warm, and a dedicated wife and mother. I.recommend this to all real mpms.