Chomp Chomp: A Horror Romance

by Azalea Crowley

Lily Warren is an old-fashioned gal, so imagine her surprise when a video dating service introduces her to the man of her dreams. Ricky Andrews is young, handsome, and most importantly, available! However, mysterious sightings of cryptids threaten to ruin Lily’s picture-perfect date.

Chomp Chomp is a campy, darkly comedic pink horror tale featuring an unexpected romance.

Genres: Horror, Romance, Dark Romance, Paranormal, Erotica

77 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 10, 2024

About the author

Azalea Crowley (she/they) writes for those who find beauty in the dark and unusual, where love thrives in the shadows. Her unique brand of horror romances combines the grotesque with the gorgeous—blood-soaked love stories that glimmer pink with a touch of gore. If you need a visual, imagine magical girls with chainsaws plowing the undead—fun, terrifying, and contradictory!

From the misty Pacific Northwest to realms filled with vampires, sirens, and shadowy monsters, Azalea Crowley creates darkly whimsical adventures where love blooms in unexpected and dangerous places. Weaving in Indigenous, Filipino, autism, disability, and LGBTQIA2S+ representation, their stories offer inclusive worlds.

For readers who crave both light and dark, Azalea Crowley invites you to embrace your inner misfit and discover that monsters can love—and keep their fangs.

Find her at https://www.azaleacrowley.com/ or sign up for her newsletter, where you can get bonus content.

Reviews

[Poppy || Monster Lover · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was creative and dark, 2 things I expect from Azalea. Lily was very prim and proper, obsessed with neatness and manners. She very much read as the 50s house wife, being a judgy neighbor included. It’s definitely a dark story and took a twist I wasn’t expecting.

Spice: 3/5

Triggers: cannibalism, murder, violence, gore, dismemberment, racist micro aggression, internalized misogynistic views

[.⋆‧͙*❀ Grumpy X Sunshine ❀*‧͙⋆. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don’t you just love it when cute girls CHOMP CHOMP? 💕

[Elsa Rosell]

Yum?

[Eilidh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely not what I expected but holy shit that was fun

[Eunice Hayward · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Dearest Darling of Darkness,

Chomp Chomp by Azalea Crowly? Oh honey, that was a feral little delight. A bite-sized read that still managed to chew right through my soul and I loved every second of it.
Now let’s be clear: I wasn’t merely encouraged to read this book. No, no. My friend J screamed at me with conviction and thank the literary gods she did. From page one, I was hooked, sliced, and served medium rare.

And that scene? You know the one. Yes, that deliciously unhinged moment where our girl decided Ricky was better served… à la carte. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. If you know, you know. That scene is living rent-free in my head with premium furnishings and mood lighting.
Also, can we talk about her husband? The man brings home fresh meat like it’s flowers and chocolate, and all he asks in return is a clean, cozy, murderous little home. Ugh, domestic bliss but make it carnivorous.

I’m not even doing this book justice, but I refuse to spoil a single bloody bite. So go ahead, read it or don’t. But if you don’t, you’re missing out on something truly twisted and fabulous.
Yours in delicious madness,
E

[Andrew Wilkes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not what I expected. Pleasantly surprised!

This did not go in the direction I thought it would, but, didn't take long to live up to its name. It's cute, and, quaint, and, evoked visions of a quiet little town, in the 50's. Then, the wild part started, and, I was absolutely hooked! Lust, hunger, aliens, and, psychopaths make this a very wild read, and, definitely worth it. Very, very creative, and, I highly recommend!
👽👽👽👽👽/5

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

52 Book Club 2024 Reading Challenge- Prompt 27: Written by a Neurodivergent Author

Well this was definitely unlike anything else I've read- though I appreciated the horror more so than the romance. Emotionally (and physically) there is a lot to dissect here , though I loved the subtle hints sprinkled throughout.

[Areadingsunflower · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rather enjoyed this story! Azalea never fails to write a fun and interesting story no matter the length! All I could do was picture Peggy from "married with children" as Mrs. Glenn. If that doesn't sell you I don't know what will lol this was entertaining and fun and just cozy in all ways that only Azalea could master! Highly recommend!

[Holly Dunwall · Rating 5 out of 5]

first thing I've had the pleasure of reading from Azalea snd oh my goodness I love it? Why do I adore Artie so much? Can I have an Artie please and thank you kindly?

I also loved Lily as a character. She's an oddball and I don't wanna spoil too much but I related to her and how deeply she felt things. Also, ✨️spines and wings✨️

[Daemon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so cozy and so well written. I loved everything about this little horror romance and I would love to hear more about Artie and Lily. The gore was good, the vibes were there, and the smut was amazing. All in all, a fantastic read. Highly recommend.

[Lizzie Strong · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I say Azalea Crowley never misses- THEY NEVER MISS. Chomp Chomp is one of those campy horrors that I just gobble up in one setting. I love the vibes, love the flow, love the build up and the smut is delicious. Treat yourself, read it now!

[Allyourpagearebelongtous · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bite sized cozy horror

"You had your fun, now let me have mine."

An intriguing slice of life horror with idyllic 1950s vibes. Disturbing and enticing in equal measures. 

⭐ 5
🌶️ 2
🧅 0
🤢 1

Would recommend (if you like horror erotica), might read again.

[Nyx · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pleasantly surprised.
like most books your gonna be confused for the first few chapters.

but that ending..... OH MY GOD.

in my head it was actually...

oh.....Oh......OOOOOHHHHHHH... OH GOD.

would recommend for an interesting quick read...


Dark ✔️
Spice 🌶 🌶. 5
Gore ✔️
Twisted ✔️

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never, in my life, would I have expected what direction this book was going to take??? My jaw, ON THE FLOOR!

I'm going to say nothing more, other than this was a wonderfully weird, disgusting and chaotic read that I highly recommend!

[Norrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

You go, cupcake! Lily, this old fashioned woman with her pearls and cute dresses has a type when it comes to men. I loved how proper she was! This is a fun short story full of body horror, spice and a bit of romance.

[Katie O’Reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

😍😍😍

Soooo perfect & adorable! Loved everything about this cozy horror romance SO much.

The vibes: tradwife gore & sweetheart vore 🩸🔪

UNMISSABLE

[Danica · Rating 5 out of 5]

What.....

The....absolute....f**k was that??? Loved every word and I will be reading other things by this author. If you like definitely didn't see that coming, read this.

[Aya Blackwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was not at all what I thought it was. It definitely kept me entertained and was not something I can say I have read anything like before. I can't say much more without spoilers.

[Inanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was unexpected

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

cozy horror, but also funny and bloody and spicy ... a 1950s housewife has a twisted little secret and and a knack for loving love, this was incredibly written and just a fun campy time

[ReedRyder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant ... satire? B movie?

Amazing writing of a classic pinup villainess - with a twist.
A romp - within the rules - from start to finish!
Well recommended from threads!

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jennifer's Body if Jennifer were an Alien with a sprinkle of Hannibal mixed in. If you know, you know. I called one of the twists beforehand, but got taken by gruesome surprise by the other one. The story is good to go into blind, as long as you don't have any violence triggers and can handle graphic sex.

[Karm Barter · Rating 3 out of 5]

That was a wild story. I don’t know what was expecting but it wasn’t that. I enjoyed the writing style. I’ll read more by her.

[Katie Flournoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Azalea Crowley mixes campy, comedic, and somehow cozy in Chomp, Chomp, a horror romance with an unexpected twist. Sweet despite the circumstances, this short story will sink its teeth into the deepest part of your heart.

[Plus Size Bibliophile · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a quick satisfying erotic horror. Our girl has a 1950's housewife vibe. She's a bit judgey and misogynistic but in the end I was a fan.

Spoiler she's horny and she has teeth.... Also, this is a morbid little love story.

[Mrs. Pendragon Pages · Rating 5 out of 5]

80s vibes with 50s aesthetic-inspired horror romp that’s as campy and cozy as it is carnivorous. Chomp Chomp is what happens when Why Women Kill moves to Roswell. A beautifully unhinged romance served with a wink, and maybe a side of raw meaty man-parts.
This bite-sized tale sinks its sharp teeth in and doesn’t let go (literally). Blending retro charm, otherworldly beings, and a love story, this story is equal parts sweet, steamy, and deliciously murderous, with just the right amount of gore, smut, and domestic bliss (with a body count, to boot).
Highly recommend for anyone who likes their romance bloody, bizarre, and out of this world. It’s a twisted treat!

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I don't know. I'm giving it 4 stars cause of the Chace aspect and because the dude that got his dick chopped of by her vagina ( UMM YES I JUST SAID THAT CAISE THATBIS WHAT HAPPENED)
he was a cheater and he deserved what he got. But all just to Paranormal for me. But Recommended to anyone who would enjoy something like that