Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America's Gay Restaurants

by Erik Piepenburg

As gay restaurants--rare spaces of safety and celebration for the LGBTQ+ community-- evolve and chart new futures, New York Times journalist Erik Piepenburg takes readers to Progressive Era Automats, lesbian separatist eateries, Wisconsin sports bars, pioneering drag brunches, and his own beloved diners. It's a culinary tour full of joy, sex, sorrow, activism and nostalgia.
 
Dining Out explores how gay people came of age, came out, and fought for their rights not just in gay bars or the streets, but in restaurants, from cruisy urban cafeterias of the 1920s to mom-and-pop diners that fed the Stonewall generation to the intersectional hotspots of the early 21st century. Using archival material, original reporting and interviews, and first-person accounts, Erik Piepenburg explores how LGBTQ restaurants shaped, and continue to shape, generations of gay Americans.

Through the eyes of a reporter and the stomach of a hungry gay man, Dining Out examines the rise, impact and legacies of the nation's gay restaurants past, present, and future, connecting meals with memories. Hamburger Mary’s, Florent, a suburban Denny’s queered by Piepenburg explores how these and many other gay restaurants, coffee shops, diners and unconventional eateries have charted queer placemaking and changed the modern LGBTQ civil rights movement for the better.
 

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, History, Food, Audiobook, Queer Lit

352 pages, Hardcover

Published June 3, 2025

Reviews

[Matt Chisling (MattyandtheBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone hungry? You will be after reading about NYT journalist Erik Piepenburg's foray into restaurants of all shapes, sizes, and cuisines, in his new book, DINING OUT. What do the restaurants have in common? They're gay, of course!

A gay restaurant, you ask? What even is--

Well, exactly. For generations, queer people have gathered visibly in bars, clubs, beaches, gyms. But they've also been, ya know, eating food all this time. Piepenburg takes on a vastly underexplored subgenre of queer cultural studies (restaurants, remember?) and guides them out of the closet in this work. What kind of food is often served? Who frequents these spots? Are any of them even left? And why, oh why, has Drag Brunch become so popular?

It's an interdisciplinary topic, and Piepenburg approaches it appropriately: There's a mix of primary and secondary research, there's a sociological, anthropological, and deeply personal analyses of these joints. Thanks to great firsthand interviews and meals across the country, Piepenburg's work is rich and rewarding, and very accessible for readers interested in this topic.

What makes this collection of essays so fun (and a little saucy, mind you!) is the way that they all feel quite different from each other. Some are rather historic. Some are idealistic. Some are heartbreaking. Some rely on folklore and others are held up by the brick buildings that still serve gay people meals today. And Piepenburg's own experience as a gay man who has lived (and loved) through many lives, as so many gay men have and so many others never got to, infuse this historical, cultural work with both weight and a wink. Bringing together a single book about this vast topic requires flexing through different narrative styles. The collection, therefore, is kaleidoscopic. And delicious.

Come hungry, read, leave satisfied. It's a simple enough approach. It works.

DINING OUT is out now. Thanks to Grand Central Publishing for my gifted copy!

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America’s Gay Restaurants by Erik Piepenburg

Overview
Erik Piepenburg’s Dining Out is a poignant and vibrant exploration of America’s gay restaurants as spaces of community, resistance, and cultural memory. Blending personal narrative with sharp socio-political analysis, Piepenburg chronicles how these establishments served as sanctuaries during pivotal moments—from the pre-Stonewall era through the AIDS crisis to today’s evolving LGBTQ+ landscape. The book is both a celebration of resilience and a critical examination of the forces that threaten these spaces, including gentrification and commercialization.

Strengths

-Nostalgia Meets Insight: Piepenburg balances intimate anecdotes (like late-night meals at The Melrose) with thoughtful research, making the history engaging without sacrificing depth.
-Intersectional Perspective: Chapters like Bloodroot Revolution and Myth America highlight how queer dining spaces intersected with feminism, race, and class, offering a nuanced portrait of inclusivity and conflict.
-Practical Resources: The appended list of historic restaurants and linked references provides valuable resources for readers interested in further exploration.

Critiques
While the book excels in emotional resonance, some sections could benefit from deeper analysis of economic pressures shaping these spaces. The focus on urban hubs also leaves room for future works to explore rural or suburban queer dining cultures.

How I would describe this book:

- A love letter to the gay restaurants that nourished bodies and souls through decades of defiance.
- Heartbreaking, joyous, and revolutionary—Piepenburg’s Dining Out is essential reading for anyone who believes in the power of queer spaces.
- From AIDS-era solidarity to today’s fight for survival, this book proves why these restaurants matter—one meal at a time.

Standout Chapters

-The Elder Stateswoman: Profiles matriarchal figures who shaped safe havens.
-Bread and Butt: Examines the politics of pleasure and public space.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for the advance review copy. Piepenburg’s work is a vital addition to LGBTQ+ history, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to engage with its stories.

Audience Recommendation
Ideal for scholars of queer studies, hospitality professionals, and anyone who’s ever found family in a diner booth.

Final Rating: ★★★★½ (4.5/5)
A feast of memory and meaning—best devoured with a side of activism.

[Wendi Manning · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a great book! It started off with a trip down memory lane. The author talked about The Melrose restaurant, a place that I loved and spent many nights at, enjoying waffles and scrambled eggs.

I loved how this was written, it covered history but not in a heavy way. The AIDS years are naturally included and it’s both hard to read and comforting to read about the restaurants that gave sustenance to the bodies and the souls.

I loved this and will be recommending it to a lot of people I know.

Thanks NetGalley for the ARC, all opinions are my own.

[Aaron Ambrose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tasty and nutritious. I'm lucky to call Erik a friend, and his wit and taste have always been a pleasure. As I read this book, his voice comes through so distinctly - measured and responsible, like a good journalist, but also highly personal, cheeky and always empathetic. This book is a gem. Thinking and writing about gay restaurants seems like such a big hole in the lgbt-sphere, but like many big holes you don't really notice it until somebody starts filling it in. One big takeaway for me is how different the culture and dynamics are between a gay bar and a gay restaurant, and why that matters, in important ways, to people who often don't have a "third space" where they can relax and be themselves. Gay restaurants play that role, and it hits home when you read the intense emotions of owners, chefs and patrons talking about these spaces.

As I neared the end of the book, it struck me that a consistent theme bubbling under the surface is Erik's appreciation of diner culture - that is, lovingly made food for a neighborhood crowd, nutritious and satisfying, and not fussy or expensive. In other words, welcoming. That's a good way to describe this book - a hot plate of fresh food in a cozy atmosphere from somebody who's happy you stopped in. And yeah, I do want fries with that.

[V. Briceland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erik Piepenburg's candid and enthusiastic survey of the 'gay restaurant'—a phenomenon familiar to LGBTQ+ folk from urban centers who dine out at least occasionally, but may sound alien to anyone else—is a fascinating read. Wide is its historical sweep, from the 19th century Pfaff's Saloon, where Walt Whitman ate German pancakes with a number of gay bohemians and artists, to the present day, in which restaurants catering to the queer community still rise and fall, but flourish nevertheless.

I often found myself smacking my lips over the delicacies served at the many diners and dives described within the book's pages. (Gay restaurants are serving a lot of cheese curds, that's for sure.) And though I'm familiar with several of the establishments Piepenburg mentions, I found the book fueled my nostalgia for those that he didn't: the first small Southern establishment to which I was taken on a date by an older gentleman when I was twenty, and realized that we were not the only same-sex couple dining together. I was reminded of the holiday dinners served at the bathhouses of my youth, and the many midwestern gay diners in which I'd gather with friends, years ago—some of which are still open today.

Although I'd wholeheartedly recommend Dining Out solely for its affectionate embrace of an experience I and many others perhaps have taken for granted, I do so with one reservation. The book could have used an editor with a sharper eye or a fact-checker: there are a handful of particulars throughout that are just flat-out wrong. The most egregious is a statement in Chapter 6 that Trump won the elections of 2020 and 2024. He might have won two elections, but not in 2020. If erroneous basic data like that is slipping through, I can't really recommend relying upon Dining Out for a scrupulous attention to detail.

[Glen Helfand · Rating 3 out of 5]

We look to a book like this to find some validation and recognition, to share the legendary places that marked times in our lives. And Piepenburg roots his book in that zone, citing The Melrose, the diner of his youth that was such an important queer location for him, and others. The book is akin to a travelog, a trip around the US, past and present, to eateries that have catered to gay clientele. In fact, it could definitely fuel a streaming series. (The book also qualifies its use of the term gay rather than queer.) It is an enjoyable exploration, one that I wished went a bit deeper in its thesis. Piepenburg goes to gay communities in Florida and Palm Springs, has a good chapter on the AIDS/ACT-UP era and how restaurants served as clubhouses for strategy. He writes about buffets in bathhouses, and the niche foodie queer eateries of the moment. And he does acknowledge how so many gay restaurants were more social and culinary destinations, which is an element that seems so vivid in my mind, the bizarre and sometimes stomach turning meals I've eaten in such establishments. Memorable.

[Joe Hilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a wonderful book. I received a copy of this book from a Goodreads Giveaway that I entered but was not quite sure what it would turn out to be. Now I'm glad I did. A great trip through a restaurant genre, a way of life, a culture, a wonderful part of America. Engaging, forthright without being crass or offensive, and with the ring of honesty and a refreshing style. I'll look forward to more from Erik.

[mads · Rating 5 out of 5]

aw man I loved this one so so much. I love most writings about food and also most writings about historical LGBTQIA events, locations, general experiences, so the two themes brought together in this book really intrigued me -- and did not disappoint!! I loved all the personal anecdotes and feel like I was genuinely educated on a realm of queer history that doesn't get a lot of attention. this book felt really unique and I'm really glad to have read it.

[Tara Ryan-Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dining Out takes us on a culinary tour of America's queer restaurants, their customers, chefs, owners, and their legacies. Real life stories of community and resilience that enrich our understanding of how dining became an integral thread in the fabric of queer history and future. I really appreciated how this book didn't just focus on NYC or LA; I loved learning some Ohio queer history and the shout out to our local lesbian bar/pizza joint, Slammers!

[Allyson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would like to express my gratitude to #goodreadsgiveaway for providing me with this book. This nonfiction account of the last century’s gay dining experience was not a typical choice for me, but I decided to give it a chance. The author presented a wealth of historical information and shared some fascinating stories, both joyful and sorrowful.

[Karen Raines · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, funny, and informative book about the history of gay restaurants. I especially enjoyed reading about Lips, a drag queen restaurant in San Diego that I went to with some friends a number of times. I appreciated the discussions on how restaurants became a home for gay people who were disowned by their families, particularly during the fraught AIDS years during the 1980s and 1990s.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! A mix of history, travel journalism, and memoir, Dining Out focuses in on the relatively unexplored history of gay/LGBTQ restaurants (relative to bars that is). I found that approach to exploring queer history (and current trends in queer culture/assimilation) really fresh and engaging. I would absolutely recommend the audio book version as well, narrated by the author.

[Kailyn Lamb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommend the audiobook as the author reads it, and you can feel his emotions at certain points.
It's an important read about the history of gay dining, which in some cases, the author notes it can be hard to trace. There's some really fun and touching stories, as well as the tragic and powerful.

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 4 out of 5]

While there has been a lot written about gay bars, there isn't as much about gay restaurants and their impact on the LGBTQ community. Piepenburg's POV was strong throughout this as he's a vegetarian gay man of a certain age, but the book was relatable. I especially enjoyed the sections on the role of the restaurants in feeding people living with AIDS. Powerful and poignant.

[Taylor Olmstead · Rating 5 out of 5]

History, journalism, memoir. This book, like the 24-hour diners it covers, serves everything. It made me long for restaurants that closed before I was born and relish the ones we still have. As an Atlantan from Ohio I recognized a few of the restaurants but learned about more than I expected. And I want to meet all of the vibrant characters that make those places what they are.

[amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

i enjoyed learning about this aspect of the culture that i didn’t really know anything about. the author did a great job of writing about such an interesting subject. it all boils down to: everybody’s gotta eat.

[Stuart Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lively profiles of gay and lesbian eating spaces across the U.S. that ponder the role such establishments play in gay/lesbian culture. My only complaint: why didn't this include at least a paragraph or two on Chicago's long-gone and much-loved Genesee Depot?

[Jeremy Enfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explores the history of gay restaurants in the US and the cultural significance of these establishments. New York Times journalist Laura Piepenburg draws together oral histories, memoirs, and archival research to examine how these spaces have nourished the LGBTQ community.

The book talks about how restaurants have been integral spaces for queer resistance, as opposed to just protesting or bars. It also covers locations from the 1920s until present, which highlights the more prominent establishments within a city.

A touching tribute to the contributions of queer eateries, Dining Out pays tribute to their vital role in fostering a community. It is an ideal read for anyone who is interested in food culture, queer history, and the role restaurants play in anchoring communities.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very entertaining. I only recognized one of the gay restaurants - Company, in the East 20s, because my late partner Jim and I just LOVED it there - but it was truly a great read.

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect intersection of three of my favorite things: food, LGBTQ+ culture, and history. Finished in one day.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hope to catch up on reviews next week....

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, fascinating, informative, and insightful.

[Mitchell Clifford · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much love for this book and the care put into it!

[Venneh · Rating 4 out of 5]

We get a neat book about various LGBTQIA+ bars throughout the United States, including a few in places I would not have expected (a trans bar in Green Bay that's still open today!). A few of these places went under between writing it and publication, but this is still a pretty great read, and has given me a few places to look up when I'm in these cities.