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Johnnies #3

Ethan in Gold

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10 hrs 46 min

Evan Costa learned from a very early age that there was no such thing as unconditional love and that it was better to settle for what you could get instead of expecting the world to give you what you need. As Ethan, porn model for Johnnies, he gets exactly what he wants - comradeship and physical contact on trade -and he is perfectly satisfied with that. He's sure of it.

Jonah Stevens has spent most of his adult life helping to care for his sister and trying to keep his beleaguered family from fraying at the edges. He's had very little time to work on his confidence or his body for that matter. When Jonah meets Ethan, he doesn't see the hurt child or the shamelessly slutty porn star. He sees a funny, sexy, confident man who-against the odds-seems to like Jonah in spite of his very ordinary, but difficult, life.

Sensing a kindred spirit and a common interest, Ethan thinks a platonic friendship with Jonah won't violate his fair trade rules of sex and touch, but Jonah has different ideas. Ethan's pretty sure his choice of jobs has stripped away all hope of a real relationship, but Jonah wants the whole package-the sexy man, the vulnerable boy, the charming companion who works so hard to make other people happy. Jonah wants to prove that underneath the damage Ethan has lived with all his life, he's still gold with promise and the ability to love.

11 pages, Audible Audio

First published October 3, 2013

23 people are currently reading
759 people want to read

About the author

Amy Lane

203 books3,488 followers
Amy Lane dodges an EDJ, mothers four children, and writes the occasional book. She, her brood, and her beloved mate, Mack, live in a crumbling mortgage in Citrus Heights, California, which is riddled with spiders, cats, and more than its share of fancy and weirdness. Feel free to visit her at www.greenshill.com orwww.writerslane.blogspot.com, where she will ride the buzz of receiving your e-mail until her head swells and she can no longer leave the house.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 261 reviews
Profile Image for Natasha.
547 reviews249 followers
October 7, 2013
Sorry Ethan, I just liked Dex better.
An open letter to Ethan and Jonah.


Dear Ethan,

Nothing personal man, well, maybe it's a little personal, since I think you're pretty alright and your boyfriend is meh. Your story was good. It was fine. I liked it a lot more in the beginning, but you started to lose me. The first chapter, I thought I was going to cry. This happened a few times in the beginning of the book, but alas, my torrid love affair with you died cold.

I haven't seen this side of you in your buddies Chase and Dex's books, and I liked what I saw. I'm totally into the hot guido thing. Tormented soul with a body of iron. Hot. The first time Jonah met you, I swooned. Pretty hard. But maybe it was the idea of you, the idea of getting to spend more time with the Johnnies boys that really had me.

As some of my other friends mentioned, I didn't understand why you did some things you did. You seemed relatively well adjusted from the time you were twelve and could talk to your shrink about how it wasn't your fault and you know bad things happen. One day it seemed like BAM, suddenly you're emotionally tormented over all the stuff from your past, and I don't really get it. I didn't get you running out and getting a tattoo on your ass either. You never seemed to want to inflict pain or shame on yourself, and you definitely didn't seem the impulsive type. You never even showed any remorse toward your profession until you got it tattooed on your cheek. So I dunno, man.
Your family sucks, by the way. All of them can eat shit.

Dude, I don't really like your boyfriend. Sorry. I did at first. Cute nerdy boy with big eyes for the bronzed meatball, but really, I found him kind of annoying. He seemed needy and pushy to me, and weird. He did stuff that I did when I was 16 and attention starved, like badgering you about your past and rooting through your stuff and claiming keepsies on clothing. I did that when I was 16, not 22. The way he also claimed, when trying to win you over (aka. obsessively stalking), that no one would ever take care of you like he would. Sorry, but that ain't cool to say, especially to someone like Ethan with all these emotional detachment problems about people leaving him. Yeah, not cool bro.

Melly was the best character. She's awesome. How interesting and unique to read about a character with a terminal problem who ISN'T a fighter. She was so cute and sweet and I wanted to hug her indefinitely.

Your romance with your boyfriend was weird. Sure, the sex was kind of hot because you're packing a baseball bat in your pants, but I wasn't overly impressed. I thought I'd like you two together but in the end, I really didn't. Your dates weren't very cute, your hangouts weren't anything special, and in the end I was hoping you'd break up (oops).

Overall, I liked your story. I like you enough, Ethan, with your tortured past that explains why you're such a slut for touches and why somewhere like Johnnies is where you ended up. Did I skim the last 80 pages of your story? Yeah. Skim is a strong word. More like skipped, but let's not go into details. I still enjoyed hearing from you, but I'm kind of sad I didn't love your story more.



PS. Tell Chase I said 'Hey' and tell Dex he is a sweet angel baby and I'll buy him a castle in the clouds one day.

Yours Truly,

Natasha
Profile Image for Heather K (dentist in my spare time).
4,108 reviews6,681 followers
October 24, 2013
**3.5 stars**

I'm a tiny bit conflicted about this book. On one hand, Amy Lane's angst-filled books are like chocolate for me. I can't get enough. I loved her tormented main characters and their fight for their happy endings. Ethan is no different. I really liked the bones of this story- the ideas that Amy Lane had for this character. I also always like Amy Lane's style. She writes books that feel sexy and vulnerable. I always feel like her characters are splayed out for my consumption.

My issue with this book is in the details. My first problem is that I thought that Ethan was a bit inconsistent. It seemed very out of character for him to do certain things (I'm trying for no spoilers!) when he seemed very well adjusted, thanks to his years of therapy. Though he craved affection, he didn't seem to have self-loathing, and when those aspects were introduced into the story, I felt like it didn't fit what I had come to learn about Ethan.

My other quibble is the overlapping time frame with Dex and Chase's stories. I has been almost a year since I read Dex in Blue and I felt like I needed a refresher course to follow along with parts of this book. I also think that by trying so hard to tie everything into Chase and Dex's stories, some of the focus was lost from Ethan and Jonah. I felt like the other players were distracting to some extent.

This book has many positives: The supporting characters of the family members were unique and multi-layered and brought great depth to the story. I also liked the evolution of Ethan and Jonah's romance. I'm always impressed by Amy Lane and I was again with this story. However, I'm hoping we can get more focus on the main characters in the next installment in the Johnnies series.

**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
Profile Image for Line.
1,082 reviews171 followers
December 11, 2018
*sigh* I am upping my rating to 4 stars, even though my BIGGEST pet-peeve is found in this book: 'ridiculous forgiveness of family, just because'...

Evan's sisters are the most selfish, narcissistic bitches I've read in a long time: "Sorry we fell of the face of the earth Evan, sorry we didn't call you on christmas, sorry we cut you off, sorry we moved without you!" Is what they SHOULD have said, but didn't.
I don't give a crap that they 'survived' their horrible mother together, those girls do not deserve Evan, and that part of the plot pissed me off.

I still love Evan though, and I thought Jonah was a really good 'sport' about Evan's career. Also Melly... Fuck, the tears that I cried, it was really sad but beautiful.
Profile Image for Papie.
879 reviews185 followers
December 18, 2023
I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so obsessed with a series, with every single couple and every single character. ❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥
Profile Image for Alvin.
394 reviews104 followers
July 8, 2014
ANOTHER WONDERFUL JOHNNIES STORY!

This one was good too!

Again Ms. Lane's great character building is seen in this third installment of the Johnnies series. I loved the characters!

MAY CONTAIN SOME SPOILERS.

Ethan! In Chase in Shadow and Dex in Blue, I think of him as a cuddly gentle giant. But he turns out to be even more of an awesome person. Molested when he was 5 years old, his mother shut down on him, making Ethan miss her touches and hugs. I think this is when he started to crave for them. And I felt sorry for him for going through all that and the events that happened during his high school. All of them were unfortunate. He joined porn because he gets his touches and hugs there. And when his family found out about it, I felt bad for him. It's also sad that he thinks lowly of himself and he feels undeserving for Jonah's attention.
I like Ethan, he's not the most memorable of the Johnnies cast but he is still likeable.

Jonah. I like him! I like how average he is. It makes him very relatable. I love that he takes care of his sister very well. Also it's nice to see Jonah's parents supportive of his sexuality because throughout the series, all of the MC's parents were not supportive.

Jonah's character is interesting for me because it made a different couple dynamic for the series. In this one it's between the porn star and an outsider. I loved their dynamic, it's quite refreshing from the other books in the series. I think Ethan & Jonah's story were honest and believable.
I loved the moment when Jonah discovered where Ethan and Tommy (used to) work!
But the results were worth it. "Johnnies," he read from the website's tagline. "'Where all the boys can come home with you.' Cute. Let's see. Tango, there you are--omigod, Tommy, would you look at the size of your fucking penis. It's like a whole other you!(...)"

Hahaha! This made my night! I wonder how it feels like to find out your boss was such a hot mofo.

And of course true to Ms. Amy Lane's style, she stirred up some shit for Ethan & Jonah to endure. And the angst in here was not annoying or unbearable for me. It was just right.

Things that maybe I don't like, maybe as same as the previous books. That scene on Kelsey's home, are they allowed to clean the mess? Isn't that a crime scene?

Overall, this is another hit from Ms. Lane. I liked it and it's a quality read. Hence, earning a 4 star rating from yours truly.
I loved the series as a whole. And it made me turn to a Amy Lane fan! I'm looking forward for her other books!

A RECOMMENDED READ! You'll at least like this if you loved the first two Johnnies books.
Enjoy!


Out of the three books, which one is your favorite?
Probably Dex In Blue, it was easy to read and I loved both Dex and Kane. I admire Dex and Kane is just adorbs.

If there's a fourth installment, who would you want to star on it?
I'm not sure. Maybe Bobby? or Digger? I don't know. I have the feeling that this maybe the last for the series. But I would like to know what you guys think or if you have news about the series. Thanks!

my Chase in Shadow review
my Dex in Blue review
my Super Sock Man review
Profile Image for Jewel.
1,939 reviews279 followers
February 12, 2018
3.5 Stars

​​Series Note: If you haven't read the series and plan to, start at the beginning. Though I think you can read Dex in Blue on its own, fairly well, Ethan in Gold does not stand alone at all, and if you haven't read Dex in Blue, you will be very lost, and probably bored. So just keep that in mind.

I bought the first four books in this series a couple years ago, and for some reason, I can't quite fathom, it's taken me ages to get around to reading them. I've been devouring the series like I devour pretty much any Amy Lane book. She writes angst like no one else and knows how to send her characters through the gauntlet on their way to their HEA. Angst central, let me tell ya, and I eat it up with a spoon.

By and large, I've enjoyed this series, but I've got some mixed feelings about Ethan in Gold. I did like the book, and I loved the MCs and supporting characters, but not everything worked well for me.

I absolutely loved Ethan. He's been one of my favorite characters in the series, since the beginning. He's a lovable, dependable, stand-up guy who was dealt a shitty family - especially his mother. After more than a decade of therapy, Ethan decided to go into porn because he needs to be touched and he stayed with Johnnies because it was a safe outlet to explore his sexuality and the rest of the guys felt more like family than his own ever did. I hate his mother for starving him for affection in her quest to rid the world of "bad touch" and I hate that Ethan felt responsible for family issues that were squarely out of his control, causing him to regress to self-loathing.

Jonah is a good addition to the extended family. He's no stranger to hard work or responsibility, since he helps care for his terminally ill sister. Jonah was good for Ethan, especially in teaching Ethan that he is worthy of love and porn does not detract from that. He seemed to really "get" Ethan. Jonah's family was pretty great, too, showing that not all families are awful and sometimes they really do stick together and support one another. I think it was important for Ethan to see this side of family. It wasn't something he ever had.

So what didn't work quite so well for me? The timeline for Ethan in Gold overlaps a lot with Dex in Blue, so parts of the story felt repetitive. Also, with so much going on with all the Johnnies guys, Ethan in Gold felt too busy, like the first two books, but especially Dex in Blue bled all over this one, and that detracted from Ethan & Jonah too much.

I have some serious mixed feelings about Ethan's sisters, too. On one hand, I understand how everything went down, but on the other hand, Ethan was abandoned, and for someone that needs family, that was devastating for him and I felt he forgave them too easily. Ethan is a forgiving kind of guy, in most cases, so I don't think it was out of character, but I do think they need to really see how much they hurt him.

Overall, I recommend the series, including Ethan in Gold with just those couple caveats.
Profile Image for Kaje Harper.
Author 91 books2,728 followers
October 11, 2013
This is the third book in the "Johnnies" series, and the least able to stand alone. I strongly recommend you start with Chase in Shadow, because what happens with Chase is an emotional echo through the subsequent books (and it's also my rip-your-heart-out favorite.)

This is Ethan's book. He has a crazy mother, who took a traumatic event that marred the perfection of family life when Ethan was five, as a reason to turn her childrens' lives into micromanaged and isolated coldness. Ethan got no further physical affection, and as a result he is so needy for touch that he will do anything to get it. He's known for a while that he is gay. Signing up for porn was a way to get touched and held, and because he joined Johnnies, he also got Dex and Tommy and other co-workers who care about each other as friends. For 2 years, he's felt like that was enough. When he meets Jonah, a young man coping with family stress of his own, Ethan is instantly attracted. But he feels as though he already sacrificed his chance at an ordinary relationship, by choosing the porn as a source of touch, and in any case he's not ready to give up the security of that known resource for a maybe relationship with an inexperienced, too-good-for-a-pornstar guy.

Jonah is a sweet, out, gay guy who would have done more with his life already if he didn't have a divorced mother struggling to take care of his teen sister with Cystic Fibrosis. CF isn't the death sentence it once was, but it is a boatload of chronic care, and little setbacks, and bigger crises, and costs and strain. Jonah is doing his best to help out. But he wants a life too, and he thinks with Ethan he can maybe finally have a boyfriend. If only he can get Ethan to agree that there's something between them. And to maybe share a little bit of the palpable obstacles that Ethan is never willing to discuss.

This is another angsty entry in this series, especially with regard to Ethan's family. He had a childhood trauma, which shouldn't have overshadowed his life. But his mother's pathological reaction to it has been a life-long pall over him, and her crazies spilled onto his sisters lives, until Ethan ended up completely isolated. You have to sympathize with his neediness, and his unwillingness to let that stuff touch someone he really cares for, or to give up his security blanket of the porn.

There were emotional moments for Ethan, and for Jonah, in this book that resonate with me. The time frame overlaps the other two books, which means that we see familiar events from yet a third (and more distant) viewpoint. Those didn't have the intensity that they carried in the previous books. This felt less sweet than Dex, less angsty than Chase, but still a strong story of two men who belonged together finding the long way there. Now I look forward to John's story (which I believe is book 4), and to seeing all these characters move forward, since any romance for John clearly has to be out ahead in time from the first three stories.
Profile Image for Carol.
3,764 reviews137 followers
March 15, 2022
I liked the book and the characters but slightly less than Dex in Blue, the first book. All the Johnnie's guys are there, helping one another sort out the past damage that life handed to them in spades. I felt so sorry for Evan (Ethen) for the way his family, especially his mother treated him because of an incident that occurred when he was 5 years old. That was the very last time his mother ever touched him or hugged him. He becomes another of the emotionally wounded Johnnies boys. He meets Jonah, who is not a part of Johnnie, and has to make the decision if he can trust Jonah with his fragile heart, or if innocent Jonah will be able to overlook and live with what Ethan does for a living. Dex's story has definitely been the best so far, but the series overall is great. Amy Lane makes these men so painfully real at times. The reader can cry with them, for them, and feel their pain, and celebrate when their lives change for the better.
Profile Image for Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~.
2,235 reviews260 followers
November 7, 2015
3.75 stars

Chase in Shadow and Dex in Blue are two of my 5 star, favorite, read multiple times books. Unfortunately I did not connect as much with Ethan in Gold as I did with those two. I really liked both Ethan and Jonah but did not feel the chemistry of them as a couple until about 75% of the way through the book. It was also lacking the gut churning emotion that, to me, defined both of the other books, although the first 15% of the book did have me grabbing for the tissues.

Again the story's timeline runs parallel to the first two books, but we are given Ethan's viewpoint. This is very well done and adds dimension to the events we already have seen, rather than just being a retelling of a prior storyline.

Ethan/Evan's mother is up there with the worst mothers in fiction for me. The woman alienated a 5 year old Evan from his entire family, resulting a desperate need for human contact that he was forced to find outside of his family, eventually resulting in an 18 year old Ethan working for Johnnies. Ethan's whole family is under the thumb of this woman and the resulting damage is heartbreaking.

Jonah's upbringing was completely different. A loving family whose lives revolve around caring for his younger sister, who suffers with Cystic Fibrosis. The two meet when Ethan accompanies Tommy to his interview at Petsmart, where Jonah works. A friendship develops, but Ethan fights tooth and nail against the desire to make it more, especially considering Jonah is a virgin (although he is aggressively campaigning to change that) and Ethan suddenly thinks of himself as a whore who is not worthy.

There are plenty of scenes with Chase, Tommy and Dex, as well as Jonah and Ethan's families. I was really looking forward to the story being the first one where a Johnnies boy was going to be with someone not in the business. I can't put my finger on why I had such a hard time connecting with the two as a couple, but I did enjoy their friendship.

That being, said I am looking forward to more of this series, and will probably give this one another read later on. Bobby, who was introduced in Dex in Blue seems to be all set for a story of his own and I wouldn't mind seeing how Dex's plans for life beyond Johnnies work out for everyone.
Profile Image for Macky.
2,044 reviews230 followers
October 7, 2013
3.5* rounded up.

Okay where do I start? Ethan and Jonah .... two characters I really liked as individuals but as a couple? I don't know. This book started really well as we got Ethan's early backstory which in true Amy style was poignant and sad and as its outcome left Ethan starved for a loving touch as he grew older, I wanted to jump into the pages to give him the hugs he yearned for and in a way because of Jonah's family worries I wanted to do the same for him.

No doubt, throughout the Johnnies series Amy has created really likeable, endearing characters who pull your heartstrings but something was missing in the actual romantic pairing of these two guys and I think it was because there was so much going on in the background regarding all the past characters from the series, that Ethan and Jonah got swallowed up and pushed into the background until approx half way, when the story started to concentrate more on them and their own issues and skittish romance.

This story's timeline runs alongside the other two books so you're getting a sort of mash up of all three together and to be honest seeing as at least twelve months has come and gone and I've slept since I read Chance's & Dex's books I got a bit confused, because being an old bird with not the best recall, I found myself having to dig deep to put it all together and I have to say I actually found myself easily distracted and kept putting the book to one side.

However... Once I got to bed where it was quiet and I could concentrate more, I found myself engaging and connecting more with the guys so for me it was the second part of the story that saved the day and I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I was expecting from my earlier impression.

My favourite book is still Dex in Blue. I adored that book but I still love Johnnies overall and I think a second read of the whole three books back to back ( in the future ) might make me see Ethan's story in a different light. I hope so because I also wonder whether my own mood might have been a bit off kilter.

So ... that's why its not quite a 4 star but at the same time its Amy Lane and I still heart the guys from johnnies so it gets rounded up. If you read Johnnies then I still reccomend you add this and I'm definitely staying with the series as like I said these guys are all endearing characters who you can't help getting invested in. I'm hoping we get Johns tale next but I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Profile Image for Marc .
505 reviews51 followers
October 7, 2013
So, I've been really, really looking forward to this book and it was a nice read. A walk down memory lane that reminded me why I loved the other books so much. I found the skin hunger very interesting and in the light of the story understandable and heartbreaking. It wasn't heartbreaking in the way that 'Chase in Shadow' ripped my heart out and stomped on it, though or quite as engaging as I thought Dex and Kane's story was. I thought it was nice to look back at some scenes from books one and two, but for me the filling in the blanks, while i appreciate it, works better for short stories between the main books like in Kate Sherrwood's Dark Horse Series. Here all those scenes we already knew from a different persepective took too much time away from the main couple of the book. I love seeing the guys again, but this book was about Ethan and the sacrificial virgian who threw himself in front of the altar of the sex god :P The dynamic was great, I loved Jonah's sister and the complex but loving relationships in his family. Would have loved to see
But there were just too few scenes focusing on their relationship (and too few focusing on Ethan's porn career imo. He describes it as something he needs, but we mostly get short recaps of johnnies scenes from former books.

Anyway, for me the book was tragic and sometimes heartbreaking, but not overly angsty. The MCs both had hard life's but seem rather well adjusted and while I thought they made a sweet couple, their story just didn't capture me as much as the two previous ones. Hope the next one is gonna be in the present and will take more time to develop the romance. Still, I love these characters and books and my enjoyment of this one is still worth 4 stars to me. :)

Looking forward to John Black and Tommy Bright :D
Profile Image for Vanessa North.
Author 42 books522 followers
October 4, 2013
It's no secret that I cry over books. I cry a lot, and often, and I feel no shame for that, because books just *do* that to me. Amy Lane in particular has a talent for making me cry. But you know, it's usually a discreet eye-wiping thing and maybe in the case of one book in particular, a sobbing into my dog's fur thing.

It's not a full-on ugly cry as I'm driving because I can't stop thinking about the book and all the ways it completely wrecked me. Except with Ethan in Gold, that's exactly what it was.

I eventually will write a real review where I talk about the plot and Amy's stunning talent with the words, and all that. I can't do that yet, because seriously, y'all CRIED OUT. I'm dehydrated from all the crying. But this book? It's beautiful, and it's sad, and it's so, so perfect in spite of all of that sad.

Real review to come at some later date.
Profile Image for Wendys Wycked Words.
1,590 reviews3,955 followers
May 13, 2017
640 (640×125):

I enjoyed reading all the books in this series so far...this one was no exception. But I must say I liked the first two books better. You see the reason I like them so much, is because they are all different. The first book was very angsty, heartbreaking and sweet. The second one was not so angsty, but way hot and much sweeter. Now this one was more emotional and sweet. It wasn't really angsty, but there were sad parts. It also wasn't as hot...which was a bit dissapointing to me.

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You see we all know Ethan from the previous books, and Ethan...he needs to be hugged and touched. He has got a sort of skin hunger...

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So I had really high hopes about this one being wicked hot. Now it was hot, just not as hot as the other two books....

When Ethan was 5 years old, something happend to him, which made his mother (and the rest of the family) not touch him anymore. They wanted to hug him, but his mother kinda forbid everybody to do so. In her mind she was protecting him....but in reality...she fucked him up real good.

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Now even as an adult, Ethan has what you would call "skin hunger". He needs good touches. When some serious shit happens in his life, he just can't take it anymore, and he applies for a job a "Johnnies". For him this (being a gay pornstar) is the perfect way to receive as much good touches as he needs.

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Then he meets Jonah. The 22 year old gay virgin (ofcourse). Jonah works at the petstore were Tommy (from book 1) is the managern. Ethan and Jonah start hanging out together and Jonah really likes Ethan. But Ethan keeps pushing him away, saying he's dirty and stuff like that. Eventually Jonah finds out about Ethans job. He's not happy about it, but he won't let Ethan go either. I thought Jonah was a bit of a pushy fucker and I got annoyed with him a lot.
He just pushed his way into Ethans life and started demanding shit....it just didn't work for me.



It seemed to work for Ethan though, because Ethan really wanted to touch Jonah....but he knew what would happen if he did. Jonah wanted for Ethan to touch him, but only if he could be his boyfriend and Ethan, he just wasn't ready for a relationship.

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Now Jonah's life wasn't easy either, his 16 year old sister was dying of CF, which was very sad. I don't think he even had friends. He wasn't a bad kid. I just didn't buy their relationship. I didn't really see the passion, like I saw in all the other books.....It still had some hotness though...no worries ;)



Thankfully there were also some funny parts in this book as well. The coversation Jonah and his dad had about chocolate easter bunnies, almost had me pee my pants :)

I really did like Ethan.....It's still a 4 star read for me. I just liked the other ones more !!
Profile Image for ☆ Todd.
1,442 reviews1,583 followers
April 27, 2014
Loved both Ethan and Jonah (aka, Evan and uhhh Jonah). I like that in this one we finally had someone *not* in porn falling for someone F'ing his way to a pay check.

The pace of the book was good, going from "we really, really, really shouldn't go there" to finally getting to being honest about their feelings and expressing them openly.

The drama was definitely there, with Evan's family being deserting, cowardly shitheads, while Jonah and his family deal with the slow, painful unavoidable loss of one of their own.



A really good book. Highly recommended.

4 Stars.
Profile Image for MsMiz (Tina).
882 reviews114 followers
October 5, 2013
There is no way, not in a million years... will not be able to fall in love with Ethan. Love my double negs!!!

The story line runs parallel to Dex in Blue as well as Chase in Shadows. You will be better served to have read the other stories in the series, as those characters have a serious foot print in this book. I do not usually like parallel story lines, I am more of a move forward, move on kind of reader. But it works here as while the timeline is the same, the MCs story is not. Amy also did a really great job integrating the timelines, so that you are not always screaming 'DAMMIT I KNOW THAT ALREADY'!

As for Ethan and Jonah - there story is not smooth, not perfect, but again it works. Jonah may be inexperienced in men and sex, but he is aged beyond his years with insight and understanding. And this kid, he will stop at NOTHING to get Ethan. Ethan is the big lovable teddy bear who needs his porn family like he needs air. He has a lot to over come in this story and he does - trust and love and hugs, that is all he has ever and will ever want and need.
Profile Image for Catherine.
1,611 reviews271 followers
August 10, 2014
I loved this book! I loved this whole series, but Ethan in Gold was hands-down the best of the bunch. I cried big, fat, ugly tears throughout most of this book and wanted to rage at the world more than once, but I still loved this book. Jonah was sweet and strong - everything a big brother and good boyfriend should be - and Ethan was one of the most interesting characters I have ever come across. Ever. Amy Lane's descriptions of his "skin hunger" were so heartbreaking I just wanted every character in a book to hug him all of the time.

Ugh, I could gush for ages...

To everyone who recommended this book and/or this series to me: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Profile Image for BWT.
2,250 reviews244 followers
February 15, 2016
Belens Audio Book Review

Though wonderfully narrated by Sean Crisden, I didn't enjoy this story as much as I had hoped I would. It's arguably my least favorite of the series. By far.

The first part of the story focuses on the backstory of skin hungry, touch starved, Evan Costa, and the reasons why he has become as needy as we've learned him to be from the previous stories. I loved the first part of the story! So many feels! I felt so much love for Evan and was hoping so hard for his HEA.

The second part of the story is told concurrently with Dex in Blue after Evan has become "Ethan" and working at Johnnies for a couple of years. He's doing pretty well, especially when compared to a lot of his Johnnies co-stars and friends. Ethan meets Jonah Stevens, who has his own set of difficulties and troubles, after Tommy gets a job at PetsMart. It's after meeting and getting to know Jonah that it all goes off the rails and we see just how badly Ethan handles this new relationship.

This story includes a lot of loss and heartache; loss of family, innocence, and friends...there's a lot of loss here. Normally I love a good Hurt/Comfort story, but I honestly didn't feel like there was a lot of comfort happening. Combined with the timeline feeling like it was forced to occur at the same time as Dex in Blue, I just didn't enjoy it as much as I was hoping.
He caught his breath and stepped closer. “You are unbelievably sexy,” he murmured into Ethan’s ear. “And you could have any guy on the planet. Do you really want me?”
Ethan leaned closer, and Jonah felt the heat from his bare chest and his lips feathering the whorls of his own ear. “More than I want to breathe. More than I want my heart to beat. More than I want to see tomorrow. That’s how bad I want you.”

Other fans of the series may have a significantly different reaction, but for all Ethan worried that he wasn't good enough for Jonah, I didn't feel like Jonah was a good match for Ethan. There's also notably less sex in this installment, and quite a bit of the sex in the story happens off page, which I wouldn't really mind, but it didn't feel in keeping with the rest of the series thus far. Finally, I also felt like the ending was rather abrupt, which did not give me enough time with the two as a couple to really root for them.

Bottom line: I enjoyed the narration, but didn't really enjoy the story.

hurt

Audio copy of Ethan in Gold (Johnnies #3) provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange of an honest review.

This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.
Profile Image for LiveYourLife BuyTheBook.
616 reviews58 followers
September 30, 2013
°•○★5 Stars ~ KAPOW!★○•°
... and 5♥ for the most romantic love scene I have read in a while!
A "Live Your Life, Buy The Book" Review

Have you ever loved a book so much that you want to tell everyone you know about it? About how it made you feel, all the great lines and quotes and scenes? Well, Ethan in Gold is one of those books for me.

Ethan in Gold is the third book in the Johnnies series by Amy Lane. If you are not familiar with the series, it is about the young men who work as models for a porn site called Johnnies. Each book focuses on a main character/couple but the supporting characters are just as much a part of the story. Although this book could be read as a standalone, I urge you to read all of the books in the series. They are wonderful.

Evan Costa’s life was forever changed when he was five years old. He was molested by an aide at his school, which is an awful experience in itself, but made worse by his mother’s reaction. From that moment forward she no longer will touch Evan and will not let anyone else touch him either. It is heart breaking to see how this woman treated her family, especially Evan after this happened. Luckily Evan has a wonderful therapist and is able to talk to him about anything, but the lack of touch has taken its toll and his need for touch is overwhelming. When it is suggested he join the anime club at his school he jumps at the chance. Here he is accepted and hugs are freely given. Evan bulks up and becomes the group’s protector, which furthers his sense of belonging. In return he has the companionship and touch he craves. No situation is perfect and some of the members of their group have serious problems they are dealing with too. The four closest friends, Ethan, Ryane, Curtis and Brittany share experiences that will shape the rest of their lives. Some will comfort one another and others will be devastating. When they graduate and Ry goes to college, Evan is lost. Then he finds Johnnies on the internet and sees that they are taking applications. After a successful interview with Dex, Evan becomes Ethan, the newest model at Johnnies.

The story moves forward two years in the future and we see Tommy applying for a job at PetsMart with Ethan as his moral support. Two employees are at break when they come in, Regina and Jonah. Jonah can’t believe the two gorgeous gods that have entered their space, much less that the Italian one wants to sit and talk to them. Jonah lives at home with his mom and sister Amelia (affectionately known as Melly). Melly has Cystic Fibrosis and it is a constant struggle to keep her well. Melly is sixteen and rebels against what she should do versus what she does to be a normal teenager. Her character is funny, sweet and I couldn’t help but love her. Jonah has pretty much devoted his life to helping his parents take care of Amelia but the love the siblings have for one another is obvious. Jonah is very attracted to Ethan but Tommy warns him that his friends are a bit messed up and he may not want to get involved. Ethan says the same but would like to be friends with Jonah, they both share a love for anime and it is something they can do together. Jonah would like more but Ethan does not feel he is worthy of having a relationship with someone like Jonah because of his job at Johnnies.

This is where I will stop. There is so much that happens with Ethan and Jonah and the supporting characters in this book. I really loved the way the story is set in the time frame from the previous books but it is not obvious unless you have read them. If you are new to the series, it will not leave you feeling like you are missing something (although you really need to go back and get the “whole” story – it is so worth it).

There are laugh out loud moments and the chemistry between Ethan and Jonah is wonderful to watch. Ethan is really a pretty together guy for what he has gone through. There were times I was so angry with certain characters (cough, Ethan’s mother, cough) I was livid and cried at other times. This book also has one of the most romantic scenes and quotes I have read in a long time. Totally sigh worthy.

Amy Lane is brilliant. She knows how to weave a story that pulls on all my emotions and makes me feel like the characters are my family, my friends. I felt honored to be able to review this ARC of Ethan in Gold. I devoured it, savored it and enjoyed it thoroughly! Yes, I am an Amy Lane fan. She writes beautiful, touching stories and if you have not read any of her work, you are missing out.
Profile Image for Eva.
363 reviews178 followers
July 20, 2014
Ethan's story

"...there was no such thing as unconditional love and that it was better to settle for what you could get instead of expecting the world to give you what you need."












What I loved was the first 20% or so, setting up Ethan’s character and his reasons for joining Johnnies. Being molested as a child seemed to be the least of his problems compared to his horrible mother. He had some serious issues, so his decision to join the porn industry made total sense.

What I also loved was Jonah and his determination to fix the loneliness he saw in Ethan. He had his own shit to deal with but was still there for Ethan and so, so devoted to him. Plus, he’s a virgin.
"But with Jonah, every touch was a careful waltz. Jonah touched, Ethan touched back, but not before. It was like he kept a respectful distance or something. Jonah had been practicing, getting into Ethan’s space, seeing if he could get Ethan to linger."

I must say I got all the emotions and drama separately but at times I had a little trouble connecting with Jonah and Ethan as a couple.
"Jonah sat up and got dressed—not because they were running out of time, but because he knew what Ethan was doing. Emotions burgeoned, intense and painful, between their hearts when their bodies touched. God, who wouldn’t want some space from that?"

The time frame overlaps the other two books, which means that we see familiar events from yet a third (and more distant) viewpoint. Those didn't have the intensity that they carried in the previous books. This book felt less sweet than Dex's, less angsty than Chase's, but still a strong story of two men who belonged together finding their way there.

Overall great read. I wonder if there will be a book 4 - John's story and hope to seeing all these characters move forward, since any romance for John has to be out ahead in time from the first three stories.

My review of Chase in Shadow
My review of Dex in Blue
Profile Image for Salsera1974.
226 reviews39 followers
March 25, 2019
Oh, Amy. I wanted to love this book. I did. And truly, it wasn't bad. It's just that . . . well . . . it wasn't as good as you are.

Evan Costa's emotional world was dark, twisted, and isolated as a child: he was molested when he was five years old, and when his mother found out, she decided to protect him from bad touches by protecting him from nearly all touches. (You learn this within the first chapter of the book.) This wasn't simply an act of protection, though; it was an effort to control both him and an out-of-control world, and in so doing, to prevent the destruction of the family image that was central to her own identity.

As a result, Evan became the equivalent of one of those babies you read about in Eastern European orphanages -- he developed an intense form of "skin hunger," which manifested in his need to be hugged. This was an interesting twist: Evan's biggest problems stemmed, not from being molested, but from having a mother who deprived him of the affection which reminded him that he was present, loved, and alive. (That seems to be a theme for Amy in this series -- first in Chase in Shadow, and now in this book, our heroes' dysfunction is rooted in the way that their mothers almost destroyed their sons.) When Evan turned 18, he found a very practical solution to his problem: he transformed himself into an entirely new person - Ethan - and became a porn star. He didn't do it for the sex or the money, though he craved the chance to sleep with men; he did it because he reveled in the sensation of all that skin against his skin, and because his new friends would simply hold him once the sex was done.

The decision to do porn, though, taught him a few things about love. One of those lessons was the fact that love could be many things, including a devastating mix of transactional and contingent, and when he came out on the losing end of those equations, Ethan began to see himself as a whore. It was around this time that Jonah came into his life, and despite the intense connection between them, Ethan held himself at an emotional and sexual distance -- he didn't want to corrupt Jonah because he viewed him as pure. As they worked through their issues and become the ballast in each others' lives, we saw how the characters learned to love themselves and others around them, exactly as they were, with a determined acceptance of their beauty and their flaws.

The book sounds lovely, doesn't it? And on the surface, it was. Something about it didn't click for me, though. I never connected with Ethan and Jonah's love story. I was more captivated by the story of Jonah's sister, who suffered from cystic fibrosis. I didn't understand how thirteen years of therapy could ensure that Ethan would overcome his molestation, but would fail to reconcile . I didn't understand why Jonah fought for a relationship with Ethan, other than, perhaps, the fact that he was a natural caretaker, and Ethan was so very broken. Whatever the reasons, I didn't get the "feels" on this one, and Amy usually gives me such intense feels, my hands grow numb and my skin becomes raw. This is true even when I'm mentally screaming that her plot makes no damned sense. (See, for example, my five-star rating for The Locker Room.)

Even though I was disappointed, I can't give this 3 stars. She writes like a dream, so technical expertise will give her 4 stars, even though the execution fell short this time.
Profile Image for Michelle *mke* .
29 reviews7 followers
August 13, 2015
I would give this 4 stars maybe 4 1/2... I really liked it but nothing beats Dex in Blue.

I really like Ethan. And Jonah. And the chocolate bunny conversation.

I thought this book was going to start more or less where Dex in Blue left off but it doesn't. All three (Chase in Shadow, Dex in Blue, and now Ethan in Gold) take place over the same time period. It didn't feel as new to me, just getting a different point of view.

From what I've read there are going to be at least 2 more books... One about John and one about Tommy (when you get to see them be the daddies). I am looking forward to that.
Profile Image for Steph ☀️.
702 reviews32 followers
February 4, 2018
***3.75 stars***

This story started off strong, but I feel out of all the books so far in the series this one fell a bit flat. Especially at the end. Regardless, I still enjoyed everything Jonah and Ethan. Oh, and I still appreciate the realness that the author writes into her stories.
Profile Image for Mtsnow13.
498 reviews29 followers
October 8, 2013
Extreme tearjerker! CAUTION. Depend on Amy to get me with the tissues. A satisfying but very angst-filled read. All the Johnnies series seem to be happening concurrently, with just diffent points of view of similar/same events, but it works well for this series of stories.

This story was an interesting POV, as far as a person 'needing' touch. The events that lead up to the MCs decision to work for 'Johnnies' as a form of self prescribed 'touch therapy' for his skin-hunger took some thinking on my part, but definitely turned into a believability option, and I admire that Amy approached this subject at all.

The fact that so many children may grow up with this issue, and parents, clergy, counselors, school officials, etc., go to the extreme of not touching, or being afraid to touch because a child has been abused...well, this is a deep, thought-provoking societal issue that many people never realize they are adding to.

I so wanted to give Evan/Ethan a hug, and was so mad at his circumstances that were in no way his fault. Made me think, and made me wonder how much disservice we do to our young people in this day and age of technology, with social media, sexting, virtual reality, and the lack of personal contact...

Do yourself a favor...hug someone today.

NOTE: had to settle and think on the story more... brought it down a star, as it wasn't as 'perfect' as could have been. I need distance when emotions are involved. But still a darn good story! I think I'm hoping for Amy to give us a bit 'more' something different next in this series....need to have something to strive for!
Profile Image for Cadiva.
3,994 reviews437 followers
December 8, 2016
Amy Lane you broke my heart with this one! Evan/Ethan was just so insanely sweet I wanted to wrap him up in a big blanket and cuddle him for weeks.

I love in this series how they're all intertwined and things are all happening pretty much concurrently so you get a glimpse into the previous books but from a different perspective.

Here we've got the aftermath of the events which happened with Chase and Tommy, Davy and Carlos (to give them their real names) and as the team at Johnnies comes to terms with all the changes being made, Evan finds someone he likes enough to be scared about falling for.

His childhood traumas have left him with an overwhelming need for human contact but falling in love with someone who is dealing with his own family crisis could be the straw to finally break Ethan's emotional release he gains through his porn scenes.

But Jonah isn't willing to give up and he fights to make Ethan see he can be Evan with him and that together they can build a new family from the broken pieces of their lives.

This is another incredible book by Amy Lane who is one of the few writers, for me, who can strip out someone to their very core and expose them for all the trials, tribulations, faults and mistakes which make people human and then create something quite magical in their ability to continue to live and to renew themselves through the gift of love.

Oh and Jonah's dad was ace in spite of the mistakes he'd made and Evan's mother was so well written to prevent her becoming a single note "evil" character that I could still feel her pain at what happened to Evan while still wanting to punch her lights out.
Profile Image for Pamela Su.
1,168 reviews30 followers
October 6, 2013
I enjoyed reading this.

I was expecting angst and drama. I got them in spades. I wasn't as bothered by that as I was in Chase in Shadow. In this story, I was able to connect with the characters and it was actually nice to see a supportive, loving family for once.

For all the therapy that Ethan got, he's still a pretty broken person. I rather liked the emphasis on therapy as a positive force in someone's life in this series and the message continues in this book. Although Ethan's high school life made my eyes roll a bit, I did like how he learned to cope.

It seems I have a thing for stubborn, innocent men who know what they want and go for it no matter what. Jonah's a very sweet, caring character and it wasn't hard to see why Ethan fell for him. I admired how Jonah learned to deal with Ethan's life in porn. It wasn't an easy thing, but he was willing to compromise.

While I definitely didn't cry over the angst-filled moments, I did laugh at one scene. The conversation that Jonah had with his dad midway through the story had me in stitches. I was so amused by the whole direction of the conversation. A truly stellar, shining moment amidst the drama.

Another standout aspect in the book that appealed to me was the frank discussion of the mechanics of anal sex and the preparation behind it. I like that it was discussed. It wasn't gross or squicky since it didn't go into great detail but it was refreshing to see an honest discussion about the work behind the play.
Profile Image for BR11.
647 reviews18 followers
October 28, 2017
3.5 stars
I liked it more than Chase and Tommy’s book but less tan Dex and Kane’s. This book doesn’t have as much steam as the two previous books. Ethan and Jonah’s relationship moves slowly because of Ethan’s hang ups and all kind of things happening in the middle.
There is some angst here but nothing like the first book.
A good read overall.
Profile Image for Sandra.
4,121 reviews13 followers
May 5, 2014
I'll preface this by saying I love me some Amy Lane... but that just took me forever to finish! Let's start way back at the beginning. Chase in Shadow was a heart-wrenchingly amazing journey and introduction to the young men of Johnnies, 4.5 stars. Dex in Blue lightened things up while still covering tons of drama-laden ground, 4 stars. And given Ethan's character, I expected this to be similar. But Ethan's character seemed to change over the course of the book in a way that didn't feel fitting.

I love the way these books begin in the MC's youth, and this was no exception. Although sad at times, following Ethan through his trials of childhood and self-discovery of adolescence wonderfully set the tone. I liked the language and imagery used when he touched things and textures, gaining integral sensory feedback he was so desperately lacking. For some reason as we traveled into young-adulthood, those moments of being lost in a texture of something dropped off, and I think that was an unfortunate oversight in the genuineness of the character.

While there was certainly emotional drama in Ethan's life, I expected him to remain positive and upbeat as Dex and Kane did in their book. Instead there were a lot of references to Chase and a lot of self-destructive behavior with regards to his relationship with Jonah that, again, just didn't feel consistent with Ethan's character up to that point.

I also wish that all the books didn't take place in such overlapping timelines. I often find it confusing and I'm note sure if that was made better or worse by the fact that I read this immediately after Dex in Blue. For one, I was constantly trying to line up events in my head. For two, it bothered me that all this Ethan/Jonah stuff was going on during the last book and both I and the other characters had no idea. I loved the early relationship stuff but find it odd that none of the guys really met or got to know Jonah at all. It seems like such a stark contrast to previous books. Overlapping would have been fine but this book and the last basically end at the same point in time, which is strange to me.

So overall, this is a wonderful series, although I definitely find this to be the weakest so far. I would highly recommend reading these in order because they are so intertwined, I really think you're missing out if you skip! Lastly, I will of course continue the series, but hope we move forward in time, and reeeeally hope it's John's book!

Received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review, reviewed for Hearts On Fire
Profile Image for Grammy 1.
805 reviews18 followers
October 3, 2013
This is the Third Book in the Johnnies Series and OMG what another wonderful story Amy has done with Ethan in Gold. This story can be read as a stand alone, but would be twice as powerful after reading Book One, Chase in the Shadows and Book Two Dex in Blue. They are all part of the Johnnies Series. Johnnies is a gay porn site where each of the wonderful people we have met work. Yes work, all these beautiful young men whether gay or straight doing gay porn for pay.

Amy, Amy, Amy, you never cease to amaze me on how you can make my heart hurt. Our story centers on Evan Costa whose life was forever changed at five years old! Coming from a large family of four other siblings all girls, Evan the youngest fell off his bike….after the spill he mentions to a concerned neighbor something about being poked by a school aide. From that moment, learning Evan had been molested his mother refused to touch or hold him again. His entire family followed suit. Evan did gain a wonderful therapist and could talk to him, but the loss of touch was missed in his every waking moment. He joins a club in high school and becomes their protector and lives for the hugs from his friends.

Ethan is now at Johnnies, you can read the how’s yourself, and now he is in PetsMart acting as moral support as Tommy applies for a job. The two walk into the break room, an employee Jonah cannot believe the two Gods who have just walked over the threshhold. Jonah lives with his mom and sister Melly who has cystic fibrosis. His Dad and Mom have separated, Jonah thinks because of the stress of his sisters illness. Jonah is interested in Ethan but Tommy warns Jonah away mentioning that he and his friends are messed up. Ethan is also interested but feels he is not worthy as he is tainted by working at Johnnies.

Now you have only half of what this 400 page book is about. As I said this could be a stand alone but Ms Lane has woven a myriad of our friends into this story and we can see all that is going on within this timeline of their lives. As I said this is a stand alone and if you read this you might like to go back but for those of us who follow this story, it is a home coming…..and great to see our friends again.

Ethan and Jonah have a heavy road, my tears were flowing as I read not only their love story, but the surrounding stories as well. Their scenes were gentle and sexy and wonderfully written. Each part of this story might hurt your heart for one moment and warms it the next. Our Tommy and Chase and other guys all play a big part in this book and that reminds me of the family that Ms. Lane created in the Deacon and Carrick Promise Series…

You never cease to amaze me Amy, your stories are the best!!!!!! Amy Lane fans….Line up…. This releases at Dreamspinner October 4, 2013



Review by Gloria Lakritz

Sr Reviewer and Review Chair for the Paranormal Romance Guild
Profile Image for Samantha.
539 reviews55 followers
December 8, 2014
3.5 rounded up.
And they cried, all of them, for the family they’d never really had and the thing they were losing without realizing, until now, how so very badly they all needed it.
Ethan, like many of the others at Johnnies, has a dark past. Being sexually abused as a child and then denied the affection every child deserves, he craves touch in a way that most people hunger for food. Johnnies has provided that for him, a promise of affection and closeness, a way to feed his need.

When he meets Jonah, he's not looking for a boyfriend, but Jonah's persistent and buries himself underneath Ethan's skin. But can Ethan risk giving up the consistent touch for the possibility of something more?
That feeling of connection, of being a part of another human being’s heart—he was starting to see how Ethan could treasure that above his dignity, above his self-worth, above everything he’d ever been taught about a moral code.
So here's the thing, I love the this series. It grabs my heart and doesn't let it go. I think because I loved the first two books so much, this one just didn't measure up to the sheer awesomeness that was them, and that's why I'm left feeling a bit deflated after finishing it.

The beginning felt a bit schizophrenic to me. It was hard to follow at times and I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was just being profound in a way that I couldn't quite grasp, or it was trying to be and I wasn't connecting on that level. It just didn't flow as well as I would've liked.

It also took me a bit to adjust to the fact that what was going on in this book was almost all of what we'd seen from another perspective in the other books. It threw me off at first, as I was expecting to see more of the story, but we didn't get much of that. Instead, we got the same events from Ethan's point of view, which was fine, just a bit odd at first.

My favorite part of this story was actually Amelia. I've been through a situation of seeing someone dying and having to face it, and becoming so tired, and I resonated with that in this book. I also felt that the part about not being a fighter, and how that's okay, was incredibly beautiful. It wasn't something I had thought of before, but it hit me right in the chest.

Overall, a good book, but it didn't measure up to the first two for me.
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