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712 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013


He hated the way I dressed, the way I spoke, what I spoke about and the things that interested me to speak about.
What was it about that boy? He really got under my skin. It had been simple when he was a child, and I’d enjoyed his uncomplicated company. Things had certainly changed.

“Is it always like this?” he said, suddenly looking lost and vulnerable. I knew what he was asking me and I didn’t have an answer. I shook my head. “Not for me … not until now, until you.” What did I know of the kind of love that made it hard to breathe, where your body ached day and night for that connection with another, physically, mentally, spiritually? It was utterly new and terrifying and exhausting and wonderful.
Sebastian: the reason my marriage had ended; the catalyst for my becoming a journalist. The man I’d loved more than any man, before or since. The man I hadn’t seen for ten long years. My beautiful boy, my lover, my friend. The man I thought I’d never see again.
“I really want to hear this, Caro. I really want to hear how hard you tried to find me,” he jeered. “You knew my fucking father was forcing me to enlist because of you, but you didn’t even bother to make a few fucking phone calls. Three years I waited for you, Caro. Three fucking years, while you were off building your career and having a great life traveling all over the world. So yeah, I fucked some women who deserved it, because I’d already been fucked over once and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”
It never occurred to me that you… that you’d be waiting for me.” He leaned forward, his eyes intense and angry. “But I said I’d wait for you. I promised I’d wait. Hell, Caro, it was the last thing I got to say to you. And you… you said…” he bit his lip, hesitating. I’d promised to love him forever.
“I love you, Caro, so much.” I couldn’t believe he was saying these words to me. “I haven’t changed how I feel. I still love you—I’ve always loved you. It’s only ever been you.”
"But the truth is, home could be anywhere, as long as I'm with Caro. I am one lucky bastard."







