** JOSIE'S 5 STAR REVIEW **
Please if you have not read Book 1 and Book 2 in this series, please read before reading this reviewing.
This was a wonderful ending to this series. After the cliffy from book 2, I needed to know what happened next. I will warn you this is an emotionally and powerfully charged book. I was a mess because this dealt with real topics that our soldiers and family face all the time. With that being said, book 3 picks up where book 2 leaves off. Jen McLaughlin takes us deep into the psyche of PTSD by allowing us to get into Finn’s mind. It is gritty, devastating and as a reader you will feel everything that Finn will go through. I cried so many times reading this book.
Finn…I love him to death but he is dealing with PTSD. He was hurt during an attack, and is scarred physically and emotionally. He has constant nightmares of the attack and is having trouble dealing with things. He feels guilty that brothers, fellow soldiers, did not make it back alive and does not understand why he did. Finn views himself as a monster and slowly we watch our Finn loose his self-esteem and confidence until he is no longer Finn.
Carrie has grown so much in this series and loves Finn unconditionally. She is there for him when he is sent home to recover from his wounds. Carrie wants Finn back, even though she knows he will never be the same, she loves him for the man he is. She tries so hard to be supportive of him but there is persistent pressure and worry since her father (the Senator) has finally found out they are a couple. They are constantly under scrutiny.
Finn turns to pain medication and alcohol to get away from his nightmares and what he views his reality. He pushes Carrie away, thinking he is not good for her anymore. He knows he is hurting her with his actions. When I tell you the author does not sugarcoat this topic of PTSD I really mean she does not. She shows us Finn’s feelings of depression, worthlessness, guilt, grief, anger and self-loathing.
Carrie and Finn struggle to try and deal with his shifting disposition and other family issues. No matter how hard Carrie tries to stick it out with Finn, everything finally takes its toll and things change for this couple. Carrie realizes she cannot save Finn if he is not willing to do it as well.
“I’m not giving up on you – but you need to fight, too. You’re going to realize this is wrong. You’re going to regret this, and I’ll forgive you. But you can’t say things like that to me and expect me to forgive that. I love you, and I’ll always love you, but this isn’t okay.”
I was an emotional mess reading how much Finn and Carrie were hurting. You can feel and see the deep love they have for each other but when everything they built crumbles…everything is questioned. They realize they both have to heal and find the strength to do this alone. Even though you love a person, at times you have to love them enough to let them go and pray you can find your way back to each other. But also knowing that sometimes love is not enough.
Finn fights to find himself, his confidence and be the man who is worthy of a future with Carrie. Because life without Carrie is not an option.
“I was f*ck*d up. More so than I ever let you see. You have no idea how dark I was. My pain wasn’t because of you, you made me to f***ng happy. Don’t push me away. I need you. Love me again, Ginger.”
Carrie is also struggling to move forward with her life. Riley a good friend and is there for Carrie during this time offering her the support she needs most. Finn and Carrie also had the support and love of their two friends Hernandez and Marie, which if you read books 1 and 2, you know Marie is a riot. She literally gets Carrie out of the bed and to start living her life.
In books 1 and 2, we saw a lot of Carrie’s story but this book was about Finn and his voyage to finding himself. Watching Finn go through this process was tough, agonizing, touching and inspiring.
I am a fan of this series and loved them all. But I have to be honest and say that this was by far the best one yet. This book is in dual POVs so we get to see how both parties deal with these issues. The author did as amazing job with their finale.
** I received a complimentary copy from the author/publisher in exchange for an honest review. **